So, vacation's going great. Sure, I have less time to write and update, but I'm having fun with my family nonetheless.
Play Phineas and Ferb Theme Song
The wind blows multiple calendar pages into the air, starting on June 3.
There's 104 days of Summer Vacation
Then School comes along just to end it
Phineas and Ferb sit under a tree in their backyard.
So the annual problem for our generation
Is finding a good way to spend it
Cue montage of the boys doing multiple activities.
Like maybe
First, the boys land on the moon. They jump out of the rocket and float forwards.
Second, Phineas climbs on top of Ferb. They try to fight a mummy.
Third, they climb up a certain French tower.
Building a rocket or fighting a mummy
Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower
Fourth, Ferb removed a tarp to show a weird unicorn-turtle hybrid. Phineas takes a picture of it.
Fifth, the boys force a monkey into the shower. Neither of them enjoy this one.
Discovering something that doesn't exist
Or giving a monkey a shower
Sixth, they surf on a large wave.
Seventh, they create tiny robots.
Eighth, they find Frankenstein's monster. The brain is missing from the head. It doesn't take them that long to find.
Ninth, they find a bird.
Tenth, they fly on a helicopter with a large paintbrush over the city. They covered the city in orange paint.
Eleventh, the boys work on a painting. The painting depicts a red-headed girl with a mustache.
Surfing tidal waves, creating nanobots, or locating Frankenstein's brain
Finding a dodo bird, painting a continent, or driving your sister insane
Turns out, this girl isn't actually a painting, but the boys' sister, Candace. She turns to Phineas angrily.
"Phineas!" she shouts.
The boys do multiple things, all the while their sister watches angrily.
Film a movie.
Build a giant robot dog.
Tamper with a car.
Ride a rollercoaster.
As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do before School starts this fall
Candace talks to a friend on the phone. She doesn't notice the boys carrying a live elephant into the backyard until she hears Phineas call out, "Come on, Perry!" That gets her attention.
Later, she's seen playing "Whack-a-Pest". The pests that pop out are her brothers and their pet platypus.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
Afterwards, the boys dance around and play guitar as images of the infinite possibilities flash by.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
When the boys are done, they pose. Their sister comes in.
"Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!" she shouts.
The boys stare at her for a second. They then brush it off and resume their poses.
End Intro
104 Days of Summer Vacation
Day 70
Bully Bromance Breakup
Baljeet was at the store buying new pairs of underwear.
"Another weekly allowance spent replacing wedgied underwear," he said to himself. "If I had anything left, I would invest in this company."
As if out of nowhere, Buford snuck up behind Baljeet and gave him yet another wedgie. Then, Buford shoved Baljeet behind him.
"Thanks for saving my place in line, nerd," he joked.
"Buford, how did you find me?" Baljeet asked, trying to readjust himself.
"Let's just say the initials are G, P, and S."
"Next!" the cashier called.
Buford went to pay for his stuff. "Just this cheese grater and pack of Tuff Gum."
"What is the cheese grater for?" Baljeet asked.
"You'll see."
"That'll be $4.86," said the cashier. "Do you want it in a paper or plastic bag?"
"Plastic," Buford replied before turning to Baljeet. "Pay the man, propeller head."
By this point, Baljeet was fed up. He tried tolerating Buford's behavior out of love for him, but Baljeet couldn't keep it in any longer.
"That is it!" he snapped. "I can put up with noogies, wet willies, and wedgies, and even the fact that you apparently placed a TRACKING DEVICE on my person but I will not tolerate your ignorant decision to make me pay for your stuff! From this moment on, I am no longer your nerd!"
He then stormed out of the store.
As much as Buford didn't want to admit it, he was stung hard by that statement.
"Fine!" he shouted, fighting back tears. "I was getting creatively stifled with you anyway!" He then turned to the cashier. "And you cost me my nerd! Maybe I'll make you my new nerd!"
Despite the fact the cashier was a thirty-year-old, already balding man, he was genuinely frightened by this ten-year-old taking his anger out on him of all people.
"Wow, you're pressure tactics are quite developed for a youngster," he remarked.
"Yes, yes they are," Buford said bluntly. "But some people don't appreciate that."
"You must be the most intimidating person I've ever met."
Buford felt a boost in pride hearing that.
Nearby, Doof was restocking on food when he overheard a conversation between a kid and a cashier.
"You better believe it!"
"You could probably bully the entire Tri-State Area."
Doof got a little tingly hearing that.
Baljeet entered the Flynn-Fletcher backyard. There, Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, and Django were discussing.
"Oh, free!" he cheered. "I am so free! Free to be me, it is me that is free!"
"Hey, Baljeet," Phineas greeted. "You're just in time for what we wanna do today. Where's Buford?"
"Who cares? I am finally free to live my own life. I feel like I can do anything, like, climb a MOUNTAIN!"
"Great. Let's put that energy to work building our next…"
"No, I mean actually climb a mountain. Danville Mountain."
Phineas liked that idea. "Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today. Hey, where's Perry?"
Perry turned on the garden hose. He took a small drink, then stepped in the puddle he created.
He sank through it and landed in his lair. He took off his hat and squeezed it dry.
"Morning, Agent P," Monogram greeted. "We just received intel that Doof has hired an assistant, some muscle if you will. You might say it's something big." He laughed at his own joke, only to realize no one else was laughing. "You know, I once put in a request for some muscle. Got Carl."
"And how many attacks have you had since I came on board?" Carl retorted.
"Well, none, but would it kill you to at least look the part? You look like a preschool crossing guard."
"No need to be hurtful, sir."
Monogram rolled his eyes and got back to Perry. "Good luck, Agent P."
Perry saluted, put on his jetpack, and flew out of the lair.
Agent P
Buford was trying to walk home, but his bully senses were tingling. He looked around for whatever might be the source of his unease, but he didn't see anyone.
He shrugged it off and continued his walk home…
Only to see some pharmacist standing in front of him.
"Hello," said the pharmacist.
Buford jumped and prepared to fight.
"Whoa, easy boy," the pharmacist raised his hands, revealing they were empty. "I'm not here to hurt you. In fact, I wanna help you."
Buford wasn't convinced. "How so?"
"I overheard what that cashier said, about how you could bully the entire Tri-State Area."
Buford was starting to worry, but he hid it with a straight face. "Oh yeah? What about it?"
"What if I told you that you could? All you have to do is join me."
Buford still wasn't convinced. "What's in it for you?"
The pharmacist paused, but only for a moment. "You and I will… have a… new buddy?"
That was all that was needed to convince Buford. "Alright, I'm in."
The pharmacist let out a small sigh of relief, though Buford didn't notice it.
"I'm Buford, by the way," Buford said, offering his hand.
"Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz," the pharmacist replied, shaking Buford's hand.
"Oh, so that's how we're doing it? In that case, I'm Buford Van Stomm, the Bully."
The two headed to a lab coat cleaner shop. Doof had just told Buford why he wanted to dominate the Tri-State.
"I can see how helping you take over the Tri-State Area would afford me many opportunities," Buford said. "But what's with the backstory, dude? I mean, who needs a special reason to boss people around?"
"I never thought about that," Doof admitted. "We'll get started on that as soon as I pick up some fresh lab coats. These have some scorch marks on them."
Buford finally noticed the long line ahead of them. He shoved everyone aside.
"Out of the way, mallet heads," he demanded. "Move it or lose it!"
Doof was impressed by that stunt. "Wow. This kid's always on the clock."
Perry burst into the dry cleaners, only to realize that the 'muscle' Doof hired was Buford.
Perry recognized Buford as a friend of Phineas and Ferb's.
Why Buford would want to work with Doof of all people, Perry didn't know, but he did know he needed to stay out of Buford's site.
"Give Doctor Toothenhurtz his lab coat, bright eyes!" Buford ordered the employee.
"I'm sorry, but we have a line here," the employee argued. "You might wanna use it."
"And you might wanna rethink that." Buford pointed at the employee's cup of coffee. "I mean, it would be a shame if this Double-Dutch chocolate mocha espresso you've been drinking were to, say, I don't know, splishy-splash on those pristeen white lab coats you got there?"
Everyone in the crowd gasped. Even Doof was intimidated.
The employee tried to maintain his stern look, but even he couldn't keep it together. "Fine! Take it and go!"
The employee gave Doof his lab lab coat.
Perry watched from the sidelines as Doof and Buford left the store.
"Who knew after all these years, all I needed to take over the Tri-State Area was some grammar school goon," Doof remarked. "A ham-handed half-pint, a knee-high ne'er-do-well, a pint-sized palooka, a pushy prepubescent."
"Are you done?" asked Buford.
"No, I got one more: a pipsqueak pigilist. Now, I'm done."
"There it is," said Baljeet. "Danville Mountain. My quest lies ahead of me like an unpeeled potato."
"We can help you spin that adventure spud," said Phineas. "May we present, the MegaPants."
Ferb showed off a blueprint.
"No!" Baljeet insisted. "I need to do this myself. That means no inventions."
Phineas felt like he was shot in the brain. Even Ferb was taken aback, dropping the blueprints.
"No gadgtes, no gimmicks," Baljeet went on. "Just pure achievement. It will be great! Let us get going."
Baljeet started running up the hill, but the others stayed there.
"No inventions," Isabella thought. "You gonna be okay, Phineas?"
"Sure," Phineas assured, sweating. "Why wouldn't it be?"
Doof found an empty parking spot, but someone else beat him to it. Buford gave the other driver a menacing glare, scaring him into backing away.
The two ate lunch at a restaurant. When the waiter added an unsatisfactory amount of spice to Doof's food, Buford slammed his fist on the table, making the waiter add more.
After lunch, Doof went to the park to get tanned. When the silhouette of a bird covered Doof's tan, Buford scared it away with a water pistol.
Once the tanning session was done, Doof and Buford headed home. Some gardener was spraying water from a hose onto their path. Buford snapped his fingers, making the water go up.
Baljeet and the gang came across a rickety bridge.
"I don't know," Phineas said desperately. "A couple of hydrofoil unicycles will…"
"Not necessary!" Baljeet interrupted. "Fear is for yesterday. Today, we live!"
Baljeet started running across the bridge…
Then it broke.
Phineas turned to Ferb. Ferb just nodded, knowing what Phineas was going to say.
But Baljeet grabbed the end of the bridge and swung to the other side like he was Tarzan swinging on a vine.
"Well, the bridge is still gone," Phineas pointed out. "Maybe we can use spring-loaded boots, or a drilling machine, or…"
"I'll save you!" Baljeet shouted.
Before anyone could react, Baljeet grabbed them all and swung them across the canyon.
"Who's ready for some free-climbing?" Baljeet asked excitedly.
Baljeet started climbing up the mountain.
Isabella turned towards Phineas and saw him sweating and panting heavily.
"Phineas, are you okay?" she asked him.
Phineas jumped back, screaming. When he realized it was Isabella, he blushed and berated himself in his head for reacting the way he did.
"I'm fine," he said, a bit more angrily than intended. "Let's go."
Phineas followed Baljeet up the mountain. The others just watched Phineas worriedly.
Phineas turned around and saw none of them were following.
"What are you waiting for?!" he shouted, eye twitching. "Let's go!"
The others started to follow. Django noticed that Ferb's eye was twitching as well.
Doof led Buford into his apartment. The first thing Buford noticed was the miniature version of Danville.
"What's with the play set?" he asked, curiously.
"Play set?" Doof reacted. "This is a non-scale model of the Tri-State Area."
"So you play with dolls?"
Doof looked away, sweating. "Maybe, but it also helps me visualize my schemes. It doesn't have to be used with dolls… all the time. Anyway…" He gestured to the building on the model that stood out from everything else. "This is our headquarters, larger for the sake of clarity, and this..." He pointed at the little device on the balcony. "This is my Sculpt-inator. This will scan me and then shoot a beam, which will then care Danville Mountain into a life-like statue of me. Visible for literally miles in every direction. Not scale miles, real miles." He put a statue of a muscular version of him onto the model. "Then, people will see this splendid tower of manliness, they will just assume that I should be their leader. Look how it catches the manly thickness of my neck."
Buford couldn't believe what he was seeing. "That's you?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"I think the cut of your lab coat is working against you."
"I know, right? I've got to talk to my tailor about that."
Buford noticed the model of Baljeet's house. He decided to spit on it out of spite.
"You know, I'm surprised we haven't had a visit from my nemesis yet," Doof remarked. "I'm sure he'll be along. I can't wait to see the look on his face when he gets a load of you."
What Doof didn't realize was that Perry was there. He was just hiding on the catwalk above so Buford wouldn't see him.
The kids, now connected with an anchor, were climbing the steep part of the mountain.
At least, most of them were climbing. Phineas was just curled in a fetal position while the anchor carried him up.
"Hey, Baljeet," he said, on the verge of losing it. "Are you sure you don't need any robotic suction spikes up there?"
"Nope," Baljeet replied.
"What about mechanical lobster claws?"
"Nope."
"Or maybe gas-propelled pinecone grappling hooks, or cybernetically-controlled towing spiders?"
"I'm good."
Buford took a moment to admire Doof's invention.
It made him think of Phineas and Ferb.
Then Baljeet came to mind.
"Surprise!" Doof shouted, snapping Buford out of it.
Buford turned around to see Doof was now wearing a gray jacket and holding a similar jacket that matched Buford's size.
"I got us matching jackets," Doof explained. "It's John Phillips of London Bullywear." He gestured to a case nearby showing highly advanced jetpacks. "Plus, monogrammed jetpacks, Doof and Byoof. We rhyme."
Buford's thoughts faded for a moment as he took the jacket. "Gee, thanks a lot. Wait till my friends get a load of me"
"You won't need friends. You'll be at the top of the heap. It's lonely up there, but it's the top, so it dulls the ache."
But Buford didn't think so.
In the end, he had to realize that he didn't really want to bully the Tri-State Area.
There was only one person he wanted to bully: Baljeet Tjinder.
Not because Baljeet was an easy target, but because of something else.
Baljeet was the first person to look past Buford's act and see him for who he really was: an insecure, troubled boy who wanted to be seen. Buford respected Baljeet for that.
No, this wasn't just respect. This was appreciation.
Baljeet finally made it to the top of the mountain.
"YES!" he cheered. "I beat Danville Mountain! In your cliff face! I cannot wait to tell Buford…"
Then he remembered Buford wasn't there. Baljeet didn't want to admit it, but he felt dejected.
Then the other kids made it.
Isabella noticed Phineas sweating bullets. Django noticed Ferb was sweating too, even if it wasn't as much.
"Okay," she said to Baljeet. "That's enough triumph for one day."
"Yeah, what she said," Django agreed. "Are we done here?"
Baljeet sighed. "Yes."
"Phineas, go!" Isabella yelled.
Phineas ran straight into action. "Ice chalet!"
"If we hadn't been able to invent something soon, I was going to scream," Ferb admitted, joining Phineas.
Isabella and Django followed.
But Baljeet stayed put. He couldn't stop thinking about Buford. All the teasing, wedgies, and noogies, but also the moments of kindness, gratitude, and loyalty.
Play "Hole in my Heart"
Baljeet:
Somewhere out across the skyline
Maybe down some lonely street
There is a boy with anger issues
Without whom I am incomplete
Who will give me wedgies now
Now that we are so far apart?
I have got to get him back somehow
There is a bully-sized hole…
A bully-sized hole…
A bully-sized hole in my heart
Meanwhile, Buford was on the balcony, looking down at the city below. He was also thinking about Baljeet.
Buford:
Who will I give noogies to
And tease for being so smart?
I just don't know what to do
There's a nerd-shaped hole in my heart
There's a nerd-shaped hole…
Baljeet:
A bully-sized hole
Both:
A big, honkin' hole in my heart
End "Hole in my Heart"
"Wait, you're singing?" Doof asked. "I know what that means! You're leaving, aren't you?"
"Sorry, Doothenasia," Buford fake-apologized. "But there comes a time where you don't wanna bully everyone. You just wanna bully someone you love."
He put on his jetpack and flew away.
Doof couldn't help but smile. "Nice kid. Anyways, back to the…"
Then Perry ambushed him.
"You're too late, Perry the Platypus," Doof laughed as he pushed the button. "Make sure to get my good side."
But Perry punched Doof's face right as the inator took his picture.
The inator fired a beam, carving Danville's mountain with Doof's messed-up face.
"No, you ruined it!" Doof cried. "Where am I gonna get another mountain now?"
Phineas and Ferb just finished the ice chalet. Everyone was just sitting in a lounge (which somehow had a fire going without melting all the ice) and drinking hot chocolate in ice cups.
"Nice work," Django complimented, mostly to Ferb. "It's amazing how the cocoa stays hot in these double-walled ice cups."
Ferb looked away. "It was nothing."
"What about you, Phineas?" Isabella asked Phineas.
Phineas was relaxing in a hot tub. "Coming down now. Coming down."
"I myself am so down," Baljeet admitted. "I am in the basement."
That's when the GPS on his person went off.
The door opened, and in stepped Buford.
"Buford!" Baljeet cried, about to hug Buford.
"As much as I'd love a tearful reunion, we gotta get out of here, pronto!" Buford shouted.
"Why?"
"Let's just say, if you want a neck like mine, you gotta start lifting young."
"Before any of us move, I've got one last thing to do."
Baljeet kissed Buford on the cheek. Buford was taken aback by the sudden move.
But what was even more shocking was Baljeet sneaking behind Buford and yanking the back of his underwear. It was the most painful thing ever.
"So this is how it feels," Buford realized. "I am so sorry. Oh, and by the way…" He kissed Baljeet's forehead. "I love you too."
Suddenly, the ground shook and the place started to crumble.
"It's been great sharing this bonding moment with you two, but we need to get off this mountain now!" Isabella shouted.
"Grab a hold of something!" Phineas ordered.
Then the place came apart.
Luckily, the kids grabbed the ends of Buford's underwear and used it as a parachute to land safely.
"Do you ever get used to this?" asked Buford.
"Nope," Baljeet replied.
"I am totally washing my hands after this," said Isabella.
"Twice," Django added.
Perry activated the inator again. This time, he held up a small model of a mountain. The inator took its picture, then struck the mountain, turning it back to normal.
"Whoever would've guessed it," Doof sarcastically remarked. "It's back to normal. Explosion, now."
The inator exploded.
"Yep," Doof said, unfazed. "Curse you, Perry the Platypus. Whatever."
With that, Perry flew home.
Perry
The kids landed in the Flynn-Fletcher backyard.
"Buford, I'm sorry for my outburst earlier," Baljeet apologized.
"And I'm sorry for putting the GPS on you," Buford replied. "Consider it gone."
He tore the GPS off of Baljeet's button. Baljeet's pants came down.
"Yes, this is much less humiliating," Baljeet said sarcastically.
"Don't worry, I'll get the duct tape."
"You mean for my pants, right?"
A.N.
This is it, folks. Buford and Baljeet are officially a couple. I know I didn't make them do a big epic confession, but not all love confessions have to be that way.
I knew this would be the episode where they confess. I mean, the episode is styled like a break-up/make-up scenario.
Another thing worth noting is how Phineas and Ferb acted in this episode. The episode already makes it clear that inventions were like an addiction to them, so I figured I'd make some of my own additions to that.
Last notable thing was including a scene where Doof and Buford actually meet. It just feels weird that we see Doof overhear the conversation between Buford and the clerk, and the next time we see them, they're already friends. I felt it made sense including their actual meeting.
That's all I have to say. Thanks for reading.