Chapter 29: Bull's eye

He wasn't sure what to expect. But that mysterious riddle of several answers only provided that much more excitement.

"This job," Shizuo started, quietly, almost as if he were unsure whether to continue or quiet speaking at all. "Working here is my way of running away."

Soft sounds of laughter, conversations and quarrels faded into a soothing background of unimportant noise.

Taking a deep breath Shizuo glanced towards the drink he had served Izaya, almost as if he were unable to meet his eyes while speaking of the topic he was about to present. "I should be taking a decision but can't make up my mind, so I ended up here, postponing what should be done."

Question over question popped up in Izaya's mind one after the other.

Which decision? Postpone to when? Who was waiting for it? What could it possibly be that was hard enough to avoid at all costs?

What were the stakes? What was there to gain?

And why-

Eyes narrowing softly, Izaya looked at Shizuo's expression faltering to one of sadness.

Why was it that Shizuo looked so guilty when speaking of that decision?

Glancing at his drink all the same, Izaya found himself oddly at a loss of words as he knew well enough that he couldn't ask any of the questions circling his mind without ending the conversation on the spot.

"... so this place is just a stop on the road?" he mouthed carefully and raised his gaze.

Contemplation and a quick glance to the top left followed as Shizuo seemed to think about ways to answer without relying more than he intended to.

"Maybe. Maybe not. I'm too much of a coward to face my own actions," he finally whispered and a deep sigh left his lips as he closed his eyes in a moment of regret. "If you were admired for something you did, that wasn't done by you, but keeps everyone satisfied, would you keep up the lie or come clean?"

Lying?

Shizuo?

Somehow those two words didn't seem to make sense put together like this. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, maybe just a glorification of a man Izaya had started to like talking to more than he should, but somehow the idea of Shizuo being anything but genuine struck a chord that seemed too wrong to accept as the truth.

Ever since he first met him at the bar Shizuo had been straight as a line. In every aspect of his work and words.

And yet-

"Like taking the credit for a project you didn't lead?" Izaya tried, missing the true core of the question on purpose. He wasn't willing to guess anything that could come even close to the truth in fear of how the bartender would react.

But it seemed his answer had been more than unexpected as Shizuo was left to blink.

Blink.

And laugh.

Chuckles trickled from his lips in a way that only flattered his appearance.

"What?" Izaya asked, feeling his own lips involuntary curl into an amused smile as he waited for Shizuo to reveal the comedic aspect of his words.

"No, nothing. It's just a better analogy than I expected," Shizuo snorted and quickly cleared his throat to regain his former professionalism.

Izaya wasn't sure why, but it seemed as though he had taken the pressure of Shizuo's mind by steering the context of the topic into a less threatening one.

"Glad to be on point," he chuckled and took a sip of his virgin drink.

"So? What do you do?" Shizuo asked, and as if having been reminded that there was still a topic to be resolved, Izaya's mind sank into a setting of contemplation.

What would he do?

A difficult question, especially considering that he had no idea what this truly was about.

What did Shizuo do? Or not do?

Steal? But getting the credit for that would be weird as much as admitting he deserved none of it. Something about the story implied that they were dipping into something illegal.

But maybe that was just Izaya's experience speaking. With his life influenced by drugs, weapons, lies and multiple other deeds classified as punishable by both law and humankind he doubted his arsenal of solutions was going to provide any use.

What was it that Shizuo had to decide?

He doubted it was a project. And yet- Shizuo said it was a good analogy.

"Depends," Izaya spoke carefully after a few moments before raising his gaze. "Is there a witness?"

And it was as though someone had wiped all light off Shizuo's expression.

Feeling his grasp on the glass tighten, Izaya instantly regretted speaking at all as the bartender's face showed a variety of emotions he didn't want to discern.

"Not anymore," Shizuo answered dryly and the words felt worse than the stab to his gut.

Someone died.

Someone close to Shizuo.

Call it a hunch. Call it intuition or a strange sense of perception, but something about that thought just seemed too right to not be the truth.

Who? Izaya wanted to know- but just thinking about asking Shizuo felt too wrong to do so.

Something was off about the statement and Shizuo's glance and so Izaya's gaze traveled back to the glass in his hands.

It was almost empty and the light reflected inside the beverage and cubes of ice touched Izaya's freezing palms with a gentle sensation of calmth as Izaya understood what it was that he needed to say.

"... I doubt I can give you the answer you seek."

Slowly, like a snail peeking around a corner of a garden, hoping to not meet a pile of salt, Izaya approached the topic.

"How so?" Disappointment lingered in Shizuo's voice and Izaya quickly emptied the glass before shoving it over.

"I have seen it on many people's faces," he sighed loudly, "A desire for abolition. Wanting to be told something can't be done or achieved so they can give up."

Shizuo raised a brow at that and took the glass away. "You think I want to give up?"

"I don't," Izaya announced, and his eyes met Shizuo's. "That's the issue."

Reaching for his pants' pocket, Izaya quickly drew his wallet from its confines. A simple coin was pulled from its contents and placed onto the counter.

It showed the face of an old man surrounded by a silver border.

"Are you familiar with the coin flip theory?" Izaya asked and Shizuo looked at Izaya instead.

"Never heard of it."

Picking the coin from the table, Izaya quickly flipped it inside his palm showing both sides in equal proportions.

"The concept is simple. You take a coin and assign two opposites of a decision to each side." The face was presented and after a brief moment the coin was turned to show the number two on its other side. Dancing in the center it was floating above what appeared to be a simple picture of the world embossed into the material. "Then you throw it and the side that shows up tells you what to do."

Shizuo nodded, recognizing the concept as one he had seen before.

Flipping a coin to decide on an action was a common move. One used for decisions that didn't own all too high stakes usually, but somehow he had a feeling that was not what Izaya was aiming for.

"But here comes the hook. Instead of just following through with what's shown you listen to your reaction. A gut drop if it's not the one you secretly hoped for, or relief when it hits the side you subconsciously wish for," he explained, adding the twist he had meant to show and Shizuo hummed as the coin was pushed towards him.

Grasping the cool material of the silver object Shizuo looked at the decider of fates.

"And right now you look like a coin standing on its side would be your preferred result," Izaya suddenly added and Shizuo couldn't help but feel slightly caught.

Indeed.

Just the idea of throwing this coin and having it reveal which course of action he was supposed to take caused reluctance to freeze his limbs.

Sighing softly he handed the object of payment back while meeting Izaya's gaze.

"Your advice?"

Leaning over Izaya's voice turned to a gentle tone. "Wait a bit. Let time pass," he whispered, as though he was comforting a friend. "Everyday is filled with new experiences. Just let those inspire you until you know which side of the coin you want."

Light playfully danced across Izaya's expression. Shades of purple, splashes of pink. they suited his face better than they were supposed to and for a second Shizuo was trapped in his gaze.

His words- simple as they were, had somehow taken weights off his shoulders that they shouldn't have had the power to stem. He felt understood in ways that were laughably comedic considering Izaya had no idea what he was talking about, but he did. And a smile crept along his features along with the calmth that spread inside his chest.

"So you are telling me it's okay to keep running?" Shizuo sighed after an unbelievably long minute of silence, and Izaya shrugged.

"It's your life. If you want to run then do it."

Guilt should be the emotion to feel at this point. Guilt for postponing what should be done even further, and yet Shizuo could find nothing wrong with his actions the second Izaya approved them.

Why?

"You are the first one to tell me that," he whispered, and a smile rivaling the flashing lights inside the club smirked at him with unlimited confidence.

"Always there for a surprise."

Definitely.

Even if Izaya hadn't gotten stabbed and threatened twice in this club by now, Shizuo was sure this man was always going to keep him on the edge of his seat when it came to both his conversations as well as actions.

At the very least the conversation right now bettered his mood by spades.

The cloak of dust fogging his mind was starting to clear and with a few quick motions on the side he whipped up another cocktail.

Virgin, of course.

Lemon, lime and bitters were quickly mixed into a rocks glass along with a dash of syrup and the ice glittered against the darkness as it slipped into the beverage.

Topping it off with some soda and a lime wedge on top he moved the freshly made drink over and leaned onto the counter.

"Your turn," he announced, and never before had he appreciated a slow shift more.

Curiosity was burning at the back of his mind and Izaya hummed while taking a sip of his freshly made cocktail.

"I don't have a question for you though," he reminded, seeing as their requests for intel had warped into a game of quizzes.

But Shizuo wanted to know. More about Izaya and how he came to be the way he was right now.

Eyes trailing to the dancefloor, now filled with pleased people relishing in the drowsy effect provided by his beverages and he found his mind trailing back to a few days earlier.

"Then may I ask one?" he questioned barely above the noise and Izaya snorted.

"You mean another?" He retorted quickly, but nodded anyway as obviously this time it was a question about him and he leant on his palm, curious what it would be.

But the air, brimming with life and warmth was quickly doused in water of ice.

"The maniac on the dancefloor," Shizuo started, and Izaya's body tensed almost immediately. "You got threatened with a gun, got stabbed," Shizuo whispered, and his eyes held just so much concern. "But he seemed to be the only one you actually felt threatened by. Why?"

Izaya wasn't sure what he had expected. Definitely not a superficial question, easily guessed or assumed, but this-

Stirring his cocktail with the long silverspoon left behind inside the glass Izaya took a deep breath.

He was free to ignore the question.

Nothing easier than that.

And yet-

"...you really don't beat around the bush, do you?" Izaya whispered, so quiet he wasn't even sure Shizuo heard him. But raising his glance that doubt was immediately washed away. No. Shizuo's eyes were focused on his only. On his lips, on his answer. He embodied curiosity in its purest form and somehow Izaya couldn't bring himself to come up with a lie. "... I used to know someone like that," he mouthed slowly and his lips felt bitter and heavy. "A maniac. Repeating words, slurring speech and jagged motions-" fading out his grasp on the glass tightened just the slightest bit and he cleared his throat. "It's a sight I can't deal with."

It was okay.

This much was fine.

"Your family?"

This was not.

Face raising quicker than expected Shizuo immediately regretted speaking up. Like a deer in headlights. The expression Izaya held was none he had wanted to trigger.

He had concluded more of a truth that Izaya had never intended to reveal and it showed in his face in every way.

"Sorry-" the apology came quickly, and just as quickly Izaya's slipped back to his good old smile of teases and he took a small sip off his drink.

It was a barrier. Even Shizuo understood as much. He let down his guard, and what did Shizuo do? Shot right past the gate.

"What are you apologizing for?" Izaya snorted, as if having been told a joke. "I told you, you can ask anything you want."

Shizuo's eyes narrowed as he whispered. "That doesn't mean I should."

Smile dropping Izaya was left to blink for a second. The apology had been something expected, but something about these words just hit the weirdest spots in his body.

What was this?

This sensation of peace?

Just a second ago his guts had dropped and his blood frozen cold at a topic that couldn't have been worse. But now?

Relaxing again all he felt was an odd sense of comfort. Shizuo wasn't speaking. Wasn't digging further. And it was oddly pleasant to not be pushed around or threatened.

Trying to be tricked or forced to continue.

Albeit with him would he truly mind?

Ah.

He was stupid. Awfully stupid.

Leaning onto his palm all Izaya could feel was this sense of belonging. To the counter? Or the bar? No way.

But watching Shizuo as he cleared away the remnants of his cocktails he suddenly couldn't help but chuckle.

"What's so funny?" Shizuo asked, and Izaya truly didn't know.

"Nothing," he sighed, "It's just…" tilting his head to the side he showed nothing but a smile. "I really like you." And somehow that smile in combination with his words triggered something that Shizuo couldn't describe.

The lemon peels and various herbs used for the cocktails were left hanging in his hands as he could do nothing but look at Izaya.

His presence. His voice. His words and thoughts.

So captivating.

Alluring.

He wasn't even joking.

And somehow it stirred something inside him.

More.

His stance, the way he moved, the way he talked, the way he thought. Every time Izaya entered the bar it felt like a flame was lit in his chest. Craving for more fuel.

He wanted to know more about Izaya.

About his past.

About his present.

His idea for a future.

"Say-"

But a female voice, all too familiar in this setting, was quicker to speak than the bartender was.

"Shizuo, do you know a Corpse reviver No. 2?" Evelynn. Approaching from the side she was bringing over a serving tray full of empty glasses and a confused expression hidden by a smile.

An older guest sat at one of the tables and Shizuo quickly smiled at her. "Ah, yes just a second."

The ring of a phone was next to pop out of nowhere and the words Shizuo had been about to say got lost in the commotion of a bar.

"Now? Understood," Izaya replied quickly to whoever it was that had called as he brought the phone back down from his heart.

"See you tomorrow," he grinned with a quick wink and just like that he moved away from the table. Fast.

Too fast for Shizuo to react or think about what it was that he wanted to do, and quicker than he liked he was left alone.

Oddly at a loss.

to be continued~

Someone is starting to crave more than just talks haha xD

See you next friday everyone~! C: