CHAPTER 4: WOLF AMONG THE FLOCKAN: back to writing Remus I just love exploring what makes him tick and what direction I want him to go. Trying to show the results of his family's struggle to deal with his furry little problem is something I enjoy greatly. I also get to write the first couple scenes with Lily. I hope the rest of you enjoy it as much as I will.

Remus jerked awake, his breathing sharp and shallow, chest heaving. "It was just a dream everyone is ok" Remus had to reassure himself as images of his father lying dead on the floor covered in claw marks flashed through his mind unprompted. With the full moon in just a few days, he was starting to feel it. Remus slept fitfully as visions of his classmates, dead haunted his dreams. Every morning he woke up surprised to find his bedding clean of blood. Dumbledore assured him that the dreams would pass with time. The other thing he was concerned about was people finding out: he wasn't sure what lie he would come up with, but he was already feeling the pressure. It was surprising that he already had friends to lose: his parents never felt comfortable bringing him into public. As such, he was never quite sure how to get closer than acquaintances with people. Checking his alarm clock showed that it was near enough time to get up. He decided to just get dressed and go read in the library.

He checked that his shirt was covering the scars he couldn't explain. At least not without making people think he had been abused. He was quite literally covered in red angry scars especially where the chains dug into his wrists and ankles.

Letting out a deep breath, Remus sunk down into a large wingbacked chair. Finally, he could just get lost in the world of Tolkien. He had finally gotten his hands on a secondhand copy of The Fellowship of the Ring. He had read his copy of The Hobbit so much it was falling apart. From the first few pages of the story, it was certain that Tolkien was going to drag him into his world yet again... It was time to get lost in a world where he could be just a normal person, a hero, or just about anything he wanted to be. That was probably why he enjoyed The Hobbit so much: Tolkien left no stone unturned. He created a world where you could see every single detail. You could almost feel the breeze on the Plains of Rohan.

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Remus had been lost in his book, completely ignoring the world around him. His dream had woken him about an hour before his alarm was set and about three before his classes started for the day so he was rather surprised when he was shaken out of his reading by a crashing sound directly behind him. Jumping up, he saw the redheaded girl he had spoken to a few times blushing on the floor surrounded by books. Lily! Her name was Lily! Not quite ready for eye contact, Remus spoke towards his feet: "You okay?"

"Yeah, that'll teach me not to carry so many books." Her blush was still set on her face as she smiled up at him.

Reassured by her calm demeanour Remus decided to attempt to make a friend: "You want a hand up?" At her nod, he made his way around the chair to help. Looking at the titles she had dropped, he saw they were all about the general wizarding society and a few wizarding fiction books: "Those won't help."

"Why do you say that?" she challenged him, most likely thinking he was going to look down on her.

"Cause they're written for people who have knowledge of magic already; they're almost designed not to give those of us raised in the mundane world a chance," he smiled reassuringly. He knew how terrifying the bigotry in the wizarding world could be, a few days was just not enough for Lily to get it. "How are you so sure of things, if you're muggle-born?" She crossed her arms, with her jaw set.

"Cause I am a half-blood,'' he sighed, "I've had to learn how this culture works through books; it's nearly impossible. I'm still an outsider. Maybe ask a pureblood for help… or maybe we can try and learn together?"

"I met a half-blood a few years ago but it's hard to tell if what he told me was correct. I think I can probably get the full picture, but I'll talk to Xeno. It's just so frustrating that I'm already being looked down on for something as simple as wearing a band tee to the station." There was a real fire in her eyes now. The anger just below the surface made Remus very glad that the rant was not directed at him.

"Well, most other halfbloods grew up closer to wizarding society than I did so whoever you met is probably better than me for information," giving her a watery smile he continued, "Feel free to ask me anything you want as long as you understand that I may not know any more than you."

Their conversation slowly petered out as both settled into their respective books. Remus wasn't quite sure but he was hoping he was well on his way to making another friend. Being honest with himself, he wasn't sure he had a chance at keeping them, but he knew he was glad he had met Lily and Sirius.

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Defense was better than Remus thought it would have been. Their instructor was a first-year teacher so maybe he would be better next year? Remus really liked reading about how to protect others, especially in ways that didn't necessarily have to harm. He really appreciated the nonviolent approach that Professor Slinkhard emphasized for most people. He also appreciated that Slinkhard had assigned two books: one was a theoretical book on the best ways for your average citizen to defend themselves. It had some great points and had been assigned to all year groups to Remus's knowledge. The other was a year-specific defense book filled with practical spells. For first years, it was a start on dangerous flora and fauna and spells to help protect oneself against them.

He was just happy that they wouldn't talk about so-called "dark creatures" until third or fourth year. He wasn't sure how that would go over but he was terrified that when they covered demi-human creatures that people would figure out what he was. If the rumors were to be believed, he wasn't actually going to learn that much in history tomorrow. Apparently, even the most studious people found Binns to be sleep-inducing. He also knew he would need to put in some extra time this week since he would be sick most of the weekend, The days leading up to the full moon sucked.

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Despite his aching body, Remus couldn't help pacing the length of the entrance hall, waiting for the headmaster. Could Dumbledore just hurry up? He knew it was still an hour until the moon even started to rise. It was dumb to be this worried when he normally didn't go to the cellar at home until 20 or 30 minutes before moon rise.

After what felt like a good few hours of waiting, Dumbledore made his way into Remus' view: "Ah Remus, my boy, I should have figured you would be early."

Remus could only nod his head in response: the lump in his throat was impossible to speak around.

"Let us be on our way then," Dumbledore led the way out onto the grounds as if they were simply off on an evening stroll. He kept talking, but all Remus could hear was a dull ringing in his ears. He despised how he felt this close to the full moon. His skin felt like it was being pricked by about a million needles and felt too tight over his body. This was the time when he felt the most like a monster trapped in human clothes.

As they approached the Whomping Willow, Dumbledore, without breaking his stride or seeming to lift his wand for that matter, banished a rock towards the hidden knot that stopped the tree from moving. The headmaster ducked his head to lead Remus through the tunnel. Remus followed him through the wards, where Dumbledore showed him how to unlock the tunnel the next morning. He then cast a few spells that seemed more like complex chants than incantations before turning back to Remus: "So my boy I will leave you here at the door with the wards in the tunnel locked."

Remus helplessly waved at the headmaster's retreating back as he made his way through the enchantments and back under the roots of the tree.

The minutes inched by while Remus huddled on the dilapidated bed. He hated waiting, but the moon didn't care what time it was so wait he must. Was wanting to go to bed like a normal kid really too much to ask of the universe?

The moon was up, his bones were stretching while his joints snapped and popped reshaping themselves. He could feel his skin beginning to tear as he started to transform, then it was just pain. The tangy taste of copper filled his mouth as his throat tore from his screams.

And then there was darkness.

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His limbs hurt. His head hurt. His everything hurt.

But maybe not quite as much as usual? Why was that?

He tried to open his eyes, but the blinding lights above him proved that to be impossible. Since when did the sunshine in the cellar? Last he checked the windows had been bricked over by his father. He groaned, turning over. Wow, the sun felt nice on his face and chest. Slowly coming to consciousness, Remus started to make his way to his feet.

"Damn it, I thought I put them enough out of the way." He stared down at his shredded clothes. "Next time I better leave them on the other side of the wards." He just hoped he could make it to his room before he got caught out in pants and a very tattered shirt.

At least his shoes had survived the beast's quest for a human. And the other positive was for the first time he could remember his wrists weren't raw and aching. It was strange for there to be real solid skin where his cuff normally sat.

Remus began the slow limp out of the shack. He felt a lot better than most of his previous transformations. It was amazing he was able to walk: normally his legs would be broken with ligaments torn from the strain of being chained. Remus rolled his shoulder trying to shake out some of the soreness of his limbs. Taking stock of the multitude of wounds covering his body, Remus made his way back across the wards to where McGonagall was waiting to lead him out of the tunnel. Taking stock of his ruined clothing, she transfigured him a robe. McGonagall called over her shoulder: "Keep up lad; we must get you back to the castle."

McGonagall led him through some back corridors until they reached the door to the infirmary: "Go on, get in there. Madam Pomfrey is expecting you." With that, she turned sharply on her heel and marched towards the Great Hall.

With the improvement in his condition over his previous transformations, Remus was sure he could make it back to his room and sleep off his injuries. That way he wouldn't have to waste Hogwarts' important resources on himself.

Vision swimming, Remus had to pause at each landing to catch his breath. Feeling a fresh gush of blood, he pushed his hand into the gash on his thigh. With his bleeding under some semblance of control, he just had to make it a few more meters. Remus slowly staggered towards his door one step at a time. He was going to makeー

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Remus sighed, feeling quite content within cool sheets, his head resting on a soft pillow. A slight twinge from where his bandage pressed tightly against his thigh. Huh, when did he find time to bandage himself? Last he knew he was just opening his door … and since when was his room so bright?

As his eyes fluttered open, his vision was filled with red hair; and his ears assaulted with a stern lecture. "-NOT IN CLASS! YOU HAD ME WORRIED SICK! WHAT ON EARTH HAPPENED?!"

The healer poked her head through the curtains around his bed to shush them: "He needs quiet and rest dearie. If you can't do that, I will have to ask you to leave"

"Yes Madam Pomfrey," she lowered her voice, "but seriously, are you alright? I heard from Henry Brockhurst, who heard from Fransica Greengrass who was telling anyone who would listen that Johnathan Diggle found you passed out in the boys' first-year hall."

"I'm fine, I just fainted" Remus reassured her, valiantly hiding his groan of pain as she hugged him.

"That's great, will you be at dinner?"

" I don't know… I think it'll be up to Madam Pomfrey," Remus shrugged, " If I'm not, will you bring me something? I missed lunch."

Probably overhearing them from through the curtain, Pomfrey interrupted: "If you to keep an eye on him, and if he checks in after breakfast, I see no reason to keep Mr. Lupin from his dinner," She started to leave before turning back to add "and then straight up to bed!"

As Pomfrey finished, there was a polite knock followed by a boy's voice: "Hello? I'm here to see Remus Lupin. I heard he was here." This was followed by the obsidian hair of Sirius poking through the curtains: "Remus! I didn't see you all day! Are you ok? What happened?"

Remus smiled at his friends: "Apparently I've been here all day. I'm fine; I just passed out near my room. Nothing dramatic. Thanks for coming." Remus made sure it was clear that his thanks were directed at both Sirius and Lily which prompted Sirius to notice Lily's presence in a small chair off to the side of the bed.

"My apologies, I did not see you there. My name is Sirius Black" he paused as if waiting for something, "and you are?"

"Uu-um Lily Evans?"

"A pleasure to make your acquaintance Miss Evans" Sirius dipped slightly to take her hand and gave a chaste kiss to the back of her knuckles before she could quite react to his pureblood mannerisms. As soon as she realised what was happening, she pulled her hand back.

"What…?" Lily stared in confused silence probably wondering if she had slipped back to Edwardian times.

"Sirius, Lily is a muggleborn. They have different manners than you purebloods, " Remus interjected.

"Ah, yes, sorry. My friend James has mentioned that our etiquette is slightly behind the times in the muggle world."

"It's all good," Lilly assured him. "Hey, weren't you attacked at the sorting?"

Sirius nodded, looking uncomfortable.

"Why?"

Remus winced, knowing Lily had no clue that she was digging into family business. He just hoped that Sirius would also realize that Lily had no knowledge of any of the noble houses' histories. The silence dragged on into what felt like hours before…

"That was my cousin Bellatrix, and I can't really say more."

Remus let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. That could have gone worse. How could he save the conversation? He wanted both his friends to like each other. "So. uh Lilly… What is primary school like?"

"What do you mean? I imagine it's similar to what wizards do, just very different topics. "

"What's a primary school?'

Lily stared at the two of them, her eyes doing a fair impression of a house elf's. "What do you mean what's a primary school? The school before Hogwarts!"

"What do you mean the school before Hogwarts? Hogwarts is the very first magical school in Britain and the only one." Sirius sounded confused.

With the crisis averted, Remus smiled to himself. He listened to Lily and Sirius go back and forth as the time passed, both amazed at the stark differences between the two worlds. The small group conversed amicably until dinner.

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