As the evening wore on, the atmosphere shifted to intimate conversations. The guests had broken off into smaller groups. Christian found himself with Kate and Elliot, who had descended into a world of their own in the last few minutes, giving him a chance to slip away.
Christian scanned the room, searching for Ana's familiar face, but she was nowhere to be seen. A wave of anxiety began to creep in; he was sure she hadn't left. His heart raced as he made his way to the dining room, only to find it empty of her presence. Just as he began to panic, his mother caught his eye and seemed to read his mind. With a knowing smile, she gestured toward the hallway, and a sigh of relief escaped his lips. He turned and headed out of the dining room just as Ana stepped in, her face lighting up the dimly lit space.
"Hey, can I steal you for a moment?" he asked, leaning closer to her as he gestured toward the front door, eager to have her all to himself.
"Mom said she invited you to Coping Together, but you said no." He blurted out the second they stepped out the door.
"Yes, I'm not a big fan of such events. I learned from my mother that they stop sending invites when your donation is smaller if you attend. They'd all rather take the money," she said with a chuckle, her laughter ringing like music in his ears.
"Wish I'd thought of it," he grumbled, reflecting on the countless times he had wished to avoid such gatherings. At least now he knew just what to do. "Any chance I could convince you to come this year?" he ventured.
"Why?" she asked, her brow furrowing slightly. It was clear she wouldn't subject herself to it if she didn't have to.
"I was hoping you would go with me, as my date," Christian said, surprised at his own courage. The words flowed out smoothly, without a hint of the stuttering that seemed to accompany his more vulnerable moments these days.
"You are asking me out," she said, her expression a mix of surprise and curiosity.
"Yes," he replied, his voice steady and filled with every ounce of certainty he possessed.
"Do you know what you are asking?" Her question caught him off guard, causing him to pause momentarily.
"Yes, Ana, I am asking you out on a date. I am asking because I would like to be more than friends," That was rather obvious to him. "So yes, I know what I'm asking."
"I don't think you do." She stood taller, her hands firmly tucked in her coat pockets, her posture radiating confidence and caution. "More than friends... to what end? I look forward to meeting someone, getting married, and having children. What is it you want? Have you considered the kind of relationship you'd want to have? The end result being what... a little fun, dipping your toes in the water, or ultimately marriage and children? A relationship is going to test and shatter every bit of your resolve. Your need for control might not rule you as it once did, but nothing makes someone fall apart like a romantic relationship. We both know I will not put up with your shit, issues or not. Worse, you don't have a clue as to what it entails to be in one. I also have to ask myself if I have the patience to help you navigate one because one thing I will not be is a stepping stone for you. I am no one's guinea pig."
"Is that a no?" His voice was barely above a whisper, each word laced with a vulnerability he couldn't hide. It was taking every ounce of strength he possessed not to shatter on the spot.
"I need to decide if you are worth it, and you need to think about what you are asking. Take the week and think about it. Christian, give me a reason to say yes. And if I do say yes, it comes with conditions, but that is a conversation for another day. Give my love to everyone. You know where to find me." With a gentle kiss on his cheek, she turned and slipped into her car.
He watched as her vehicle pulled away, feeling an ache in his chest as it disappeared from view. The sound of the engine faded into the distance; despite the noise in the house carrying through to the front, it all suddenly faded. He walked back through the house, his thoughts consumed by her questions. Christian had thought he was prepared for whatever her answer would be, but now he realized how unprepared he was, not just for the possibility of rejection but for the responsibility of crafting a compelling case for her to say yes. His uncertainty was nothing new where Ana was concerned, but this one felt almost suffocating. He wasn't sure he had a strong enough basis for her to say yes.
"Christian." The voice broke through his fog of thoughts, and he was jolted back to reality when a hand fell gently on his shoulder.
"Sorry, Mom." He rubbed his face furiously with both hands as if he could wipe away the confusion and frustration that had settled there.
"I take it didn't go well," she said, her concern and understanding obvious. He chuckled, of course. She'd picked up on exactly what was happening. She looked as dejected as he felt, although for different reasons. Grace clearly thought Ana had said no.
"I have to give her a reason to say yes, and honestly, I'm not sure I can," he muttered, the words slipping out in a rush. "I'm just going to hide." With that, he trudged up the stairs to his old bedroom, each step feeling heavier than the last.
At some point, exhaustion overtook him, and Christian must have fallen asleep. He woke to shouting, pulling him from a restless sleep. With a groan, he rolled out of bed and headed downstairs, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
"I mean, this is just over the top," he heard Elliot grumble as he approached the living room.
"What is over the top?" Christian asked, his curiosity piqued as he entered the room.
"This." Elliot waved a stack of papers at him, his expression one of mock outrage.
"It's a perfectly reasonable gift," Christian replied, dismissing Elliot's feigned indignation with a wave of his hand. Before he could collapse next to Mia, Carrick pulled him into a tight hug, lifting Christian off his feet momentarily.
"Happy birthday, Dad," Christian said, laughter bubbling up at his father's exuberance.
"See, this just proves it. Over the top," Elliot reiterated, eyeing the car keys with disbelief and envy. Christian had purchased a 1969 Jaguar E-Type Series 2, which had been immaculately restored. He'd first spotted it in a car magazine in Ana's office. She still kept magazines on the table for her customers even though most people could be found on their phones these days. Then again, most of her customers were the magazine-reading type.
"At your age, what do you need a classic car for? " he added, eyeing the car key.
"Drive it," Carrick said with a smug smile. So when can I go and pick it up?" he asked, rubbing his hands together.
"Whenever, just take the papers with you, and it's yours," Christian murmured.
"Are you okay? Mom said you were in your room; I came in to find you sleeping," Mia interjected, her tone shifting to one of genuine concern before Elliot could pipe up about the car again.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Christian replied, but after a beat, he added, "I asked Ana out…"
"She said no," Mia interjected, her disappointment evident.
"No, I have to give her a reason to say yes, and if I'm honest, I'm not sure I have a compelling enough reason for her to say yes." He leaned back against the sofa.
"A compelling enough reason," Elliot echoed, his voice laced with incredulity. Christian lifted his head to meet his brother's gaze. "Surely, you've got to be kidding."
"What exactly do I have to offer her, El?" Christian asked, frustration bubbling to the surface. "I've never been in a relationship before. I have no idea what that entails. If I had any doubts, my attempt at a relationship just to prove a point was a monumental failure. Until a few months ago, this family's level of importance to me was next to nothing. So what if I have money? Ana does too. What do I have to offer her, Elliot? Tell me!" His voice rose, the intensity of his emotions spilling over.
An uncomfortable silence settled over the room, thick with the weight of his words. "I wish I could lay the blame solely on Elena Lincoln's doorstep," Grace began, her voice steady yet tinged with regret. "But the truth is your father and I are complicit in how all this played out." She struggled to hold back tears, the realization of their shortcomings hitting her hard. "You never asked for help, and we stopped encouraging you to do so. You spent most of your time locked in your room, and we left you to it. You suddenly started behaving; we didn't question why or how. You suddenly spent most of your time at the library; again, we didn't question it. The list is endless. We left you to your own devices because it was easier than forcing the issue." It was a painful truth, but it was the truth.
"It's simple: you give Ana what she wants. That's what you have to offer," Carrick said with a shrug as if it were that easy.
"What if I'm not capable?" Christian whispered, the vulnerability in his voice palpable.
"Then you don't want her badly enough," Elliot replied, his tone firm. "I know Ana well enough to know that if she didn't think you had potential, she would have told you no outright. I've seen it enough times to know what I'm talking about. What does she want? I know she told you."
"She wants marriage and children. She has no intention of wasting her time on someone who also doesn't want that." Grace couldn't hide the smile that broke across her face, earning an eye roll from Christian.
"Then you know what you must do if you want her," Carrick advised gently. "Christian, this is one of those situations where you'll have to learn to ask for help." He added.
"You might also want to pick up a few books on the subject," Mia chimed in, her expression one of amusement.
"Good idea," Grace added, her enthusiasm evident.
"I'm glad you find this amusing; somebody might as well." Christian sighed.
Ana had asked him to take the week to think, which was precisely what he did. He took Mia's advice and bought a few books on relationships. To his relief, the most important points echoed throughout all eight books he bought: trust, respect, communication, compromise, honesty, boundaries, forgiveness, loyalty, equality, acceptance, expressing love, intimacy, and much more.
These concepts had no place in his previous arrangement. Yes, communication was paramount, but in that context, it had only mattered in the playroom. His therapy sessions had shifted from what he viewed as maintenance to an exploration of a whole new world of subjects he had never once considered would apply to him. The topics of marriage and children unnerved him as much as he expected they would.
Daniel's advice had calmed him somewhat. He had time; Ana wasn't asking him to propose today and knock her up tomorrow. Time to prepare himself to become a husband and father, something he had never envisioned for himself. The mantra Elena had drilled into him now echoed constantly in his mind: "Love is for fools." Well, he was a fool then.
Ana was in the middle of a staff meeting when he showed up, standing just inside the door with a large bouquet of red roses, feeling awkward and out of place. When she looked up and smiled at him, pointing toward her office, the warmth of her gaze sent a jolt of hope through him. With a nod, he passed a wall of rolled-up canvases to her office, setting the flowers down on her center table before picking up a magazine to keep himself occupied.
It took another ten minutes before she rushed into the office, her hair slightly disheveled and her cheeks flushed. "Sorry to have kept you waiting; these end-of-week debriefs always run over the allotted half an hour," Ana sighed as she sat beside him.
"That's fine. It's not as if I'm in a hurry," he replied with a shrug, trying to play it cool but feeling the tension coiling in his stomach.
"I will admit, I expected to hear from you before today." She knew him well.
"Elliot threatened to graffiti GEH if I called you before today," he admitted, earning a giggle from Ana. "You have a beautiful laugh," he added without thinking.
"I do?" She raised an eyebrow, her smile widening as he nodded. "Thank you."
"I spent the week thinking of one reason or another, and in the end, none of that really mattered. All I can ask for is a chance." He took a deep breath. "I had resigned myself to living my life alone. I never saw myself in a traditional relationship, and the idea of marriage…" He stared at his fingers, praying his brutal honesty would be enough. "I viewed myself as a heartless control freak, and as far as I was concerned, I was doing the world a favor by not passing my DNA on. Now, I know that I allowed Elena to influence my thinking." He groaned, exasperated. "I don't know what I'm saying. All I can ask for is a chance. I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you."
"What are you doing tomorrow night?" she asked. His head shot up, eyes hopeful as he stared at her.
"Absolutely nothing," he replied eagerly, barely able to contain his excitement.
"I will pick you up at six, and if you survive the evening, Mr. Grey. I'm all yours." She picked up the large bouquet, brought it to her nose, and breathed in the scent of the roses.