Inspired by a previous post and heavily influenced by the movie series 'Hangover', I present you:
Stetmann's vacation bonanza
Or
The Canopus Hangover
Location: Nameless system between the Magistracy of Canopus and the Aurigan Coalition
Behemoth-Class Battlecruiser: Hyperion
Port-side landing bay
Date: Classified
Jim Raynor had gotten the message from Tychus three days ago, the mission had been successful, and they were on their way with the package. He looked on as the shuttles made it smoothly into the landing bay inspecting them for any sing of scuffles. From the report they had made it out without trouble, but Tychus definition of 'trouble' had always been quite loose.
Once again, like everyday of the month since he received the bad news, he wished he could have sent Gabriel and his men but with their limited numbers, they had their hand full of building and maintaining the Raiders intelligence network as well has running those mission in the Inner Sphere. So, Jim had been reduced to use the less subtle option. At least Tosh contacts in the Magistracy of Canopus had been able to track down this little 'political whoopsie' before something bad happened.
The six Vikings and five Medivac they had sent for the mission as well as one of those egg-shaped dropships they retrofitted with a Warp drive, landed successfully for the VTOL and the dropship latched onto the collar soon after, automatized anchoring arms keeping them in place before they re-activated the landing bay artificial gravity. Feeling the weight settle on himself, Jim approached.
Nothing seemed amiss but he would read the whole report for sure. It was bad enough that him and Homer had agreed that moving the Hyperion from home space at this time was risky move with all the attention of the Inner Sphere upon Dumassas right now… but as the report from Tosh operative kept coming in, they felt it was probably for the best if they discreetly moved the Hyperion to catch up to Tychus squadron they had sent ahead. Thankfully, they had requested no assistance and the situation had died out instead of escalating into a full-blown conflict with the Free Worlds Leagues.
They might need to grease some hands, so the information of their involvement doesn't get out. What a fucking mess.
The lead Medivac open its door and Jim didn't even bother with greeting.
"Bring him to the brig, we'll interrogate him there."
Tychus and Jim were looking at the human wreck nursing the end of a bad hangover through the monitor on the cot of the jail cell. For all the trouble they had to deal with Jim felt like withholding the cure so that person could maybe, through their suffering, learn from their mistakes.
Jim seriously doubted it has he was listening with one ear as Tychus give a summary of their expedition.
"By the time we found them, the mercenary group he was leading was about to tear itself apart if they hadn't gotten their asses kicked by those other mercenaries, not even anyone famous either" like he was criticizing someone else kid football match. "I think they were running out of drugs by that point and the constant high was what really kept them together. Or most likely they realised they could sell the tech for a better profit."
Tychus opened a can of beer he pulled out of shoulder ammo storage of his power armor before continuing. Jim reflected to himself that for someone who was stuck in said armor for so long he was certainly gotten the habit of keeping it on even when not required. Or perhaps he ran out of clean laundry during his trip and wore the metal suit like onesie to bypass the Hyperion newest Home Rules that clothes are always mandatory outside of personal quarters. An ironclad law that Horner enforce with zeal since he got tired of dealing with the harassment complaint and psychological scarring on his ship, mainly about Tychus.
"When we did the drop to join the party, most of his guys had packed up and split with their own dropship the day before and he was left with the rest of the support staff trying to rebuild with three SCV and his own mech. Since we didn't want to leave trace that we got involved, we hit them hard enough from beyond the hills and took the Leaguer's on a wild goose chase long enough to pack what we could and destroy the rest. Don't worry, there is nothing left there, we made sure it was a big enough boom that we saw it from orbit" Tychus said with his usual happy tone when wanton destruction was involved.
Raynor wondered just how much the landscape was changed and if anyone uninvolved was caught in the blast because it would have been just like his old friend to leave the bomb as a 'surprise' for the scavengers.
"Like you said we prioritized getting out of there to keep thing secret as possible, so we didn't try to intercept the dropships or Stetmann merc jumpship. There was another one that arrived in the meantime at the zenith jump point and we are pretty sure it was the League reinforcement. With the Mercenary practically at their own jumpship at the Nadir at this point, we calculated they should have made their escape as well."
Jim was afraid of this. "How much tech did they take with them?"
"We checked the records in his 'personal mech', more like personalized mech with all the do-dad he installed… ahem, the ones in the three SCV and as well as the Depots and we are pretty sure the only tech that was ours left on site were 3 SCV with the Limited Inner Sphere Databank, one factory and 6 Depots they left behind because they couldn't get the code for the takeoff, one of those deployable Field Garage we made for Inner Sphere Mech, one of those crane truck our guys retro-engineered from scratch, whacha call them again, oh yeah Wayland II plus 2 of our own Mech coolant trucks design."
The SCV Limited Inner Sphere Databank or LD-SCV was created in the eventual scenario where there is a need for SCV's to be used by people from the Inner Sphere that aren't cleared for full access to Raider gear. On top of only providing SCV's of an older generation technology wise for the, the number of buildings and add-ons are also kept limited and outdated by Raider and Haven Standards to keep too many designs and technologies from leaking out. As their time away from Koprulu continued, more and more Inner Sphere templates were added as well.
Jim rolled his tongue a few times, a calculating look on his face. "And considering he had nothing of that beside a SCV when he left the Magistracy after he ditched his escort, he built all of that somewhere else in the short time before you found him."
"That's what we think, plus from the serial numbers, the three SCV he had with him were freshly made so they probably built a Command Center and other factories somewhere out of the way before taking on this mercenary contract. They didn't have enough time since we lost contact to when and where we found him to have made anything substantial since they started from scratch. They probably built what they thought they needed for the mission with the intention to come back since they don't have the Dropships or Jumpship big enough to bring any of our buildings besides the Depots."
"It's practically all Battlemechs support or at least how we would support a unit of only Battle mech. Didn't they have any infantry with them? Plane? Armors?"
"None replied Tychus shaking his head. Well… they had some ASF in the dropship, but they bailed at the same time as the rest. Even if they had some thing else, I don't think they would have the time to train anyone to use it either. The merc group they formed only had four other mech pilot and the one dropship, not enough space to run a whole military squad. Most of the mech tech and dropship crew bailed with the rest and only a few stayed, for whatever reasons. They rushed to do this job Jimmy because I am pretty sure that the initial money investment was running dry, even if the testimony we got say they were high most of the time, 'no money' is a serious wakeup call for any merc."
Finishing the rest of his beer and crunching the can between two armored fingers he threw it in the garbage chute before resuming. "From the information's we gathered, those merc barely knew one another and were small time nobodies. So, with no budget and not enough dropships they couldn't recruit anything but the barebones of a crew without any parts or support. Enter Stetmann and his crazy ideas and SCV's so that explains why they focussed on building only stuff for mechs. Probably intended to run a typical Sphere mercenary band that focus on Mech. Kinda surprised he didn't build anything else."
Raynor considered the man cradling his head in the other room and thought about the kind of person he was "They must have filled his drug addled mind full of Sphere bullshit about the glory of Battlemechs, knights and how infantry is for chumps or the likes. In return, he probably bragged about being able to provide anything a Mech need like he was one of the big House or something." While it was the Marshal in him who made the psych profile it was the tactician who said the next part, his attitude firming with what they would need to do to mop up this mess. "Those mercenaries are probably running where they set up shop. We need to track them and shut down that base camp. We cannot let our technology, even if limited in scope, fall into the wrong hand."
"Heh, I wouldn't worry about that too much if I were you. Even with his mind higher than a Protoss Templar, he made sure that nothing would be operable without his codes. If they thought, they could simply operate the stuff they will be very disappointed. The home base can't be far if we got the timeline right. One or two jump at most."
"We should have a location soon from the dropship computers and the rest of the crew you rescued."
" Wouldn't be so sure about the last part, the ex-felon contradicting his old friend. They were so high I doubt they even knew what they had for lunch. We found a loooot of pills. And weed. And someone fiddled with the air humidity regulator to disperse some kind of purple stuff in the water vapor, and it wasn't lemon air freshener."
Jim sighed heavily and hung his head in exasperation. "I think it's time we have a chat with our runaway princess over here."
In some way, Jim Raynor still saw himself as a lawman. And it felt even more like it with him flanked by two Marines in full armor in the small room, a table between him and a worried looking man. Well, more like heavily hungover but the sad part would come. You never quite forget how it is to interrogate a culprit, something indistinct that stick whit you after you have done it enough. Any good interrogation, no successful one was like putting on a show to get your audience to react like you wanted to.
With a vague feeling of nostalgia, he made sure to not let appear on his face, Jim decided to start the interrogation with a brief resume of the events that led to this situation. It was both to help himself grasp the string of events and to help Stetmann remember since the medic had him in a medically induced coma for the trip back to help flush the drugs from his system. The fact that they didn't apply the finishing procedure to remove discomfort upon waking up from the deep flush his body went through said a lot about how they appreciated being sent on a rescue mission only to find the target a raving lunatic in a pit of shit he dug himself in because he went on a bender.
And Jim told them not to. He thought it would help integrate the lesson better.
With a tone far too jovial for the occasion that, somehow, had no right to sound that much authoritarian, he began. "You were officially sent to accompany Dumassas and New Haven as part of the delegation to the Magistracy of Canopus capital world, Canopus IV, as a scientific consultant in the negotiation of a potential trade deal in case someone needed to explain some of water purification and renewable energy generation infrastructures. On the side, you were supposed to do some lecture at the University of Canopus as a sign of good will for the exchange of scientific knowledge and technology."
Raynor paused to see if there was any reaction, but the table seemed of a much greater interest to Egon, so he continued. "We on the other hand were officially there as security for the Delegation, with the hope of striking some more… discrete deal of our own, like offering to reverse engineer and fix some of their Star League era medical technologies in exchange for… well, looking after the facts I guess it was a good thing you weren't cleared on the fine details of that exchange, isn't it?"
That seemed to get a groan out of the scientist.
"And that was the part of you and your colleagues were in charge of, is it?" Jim telling his little story, knowing full well everyone presents already knew all the details. "In between some of the lectures at the various campuses you were supposed to get some tours of the medical wings and various other facilities where you were giving some demonstration of our own medical science as a cover. However, in the last day of you tour, in between the two last lecture and the visit to their… what was it…" Jim was snapping his fingers as show of trying to trigger his memory.
"… It was the University Hospital cybernetic pavilion…" finally get a response from Stetmann who continued to stare at the table like it was the source of all his guilt.
"Ah, yes, that's what it was, well you see, that's where things kind of get blurry for us because, somehow, your own security detail and the rest of your egghead friends' kind of lost track of you."
"…"
Signing, Jim decided to let off the pressure a little and offer and ease the mind of Egon of some of the worries his imagination must be conjuring "I want to clarify with that the diplomatic mission to Canopus was a success and wasn't affected by your behavior. The Dumassas Governess and Haven Representative assured me that the trade deals were sighed before we lost track of you and the Magistracy didn't ask for any alteration to the deal or any concession. Similarly with our own negotiations, we managed to get almost everything we were setting to get, and all the medical technologies exchange were done before your disappearance, you left enough notes for our own technician scans to get how to repair most of them. The hardest part will be to set up factories to make the parts."
It was like a great weight was lifted from his shoulder; Egon shoulder sagged from relief finally lifting his head.
Raynor spoke again in order to regain control of the interrogation. "You do not remember the events leading to this?"
"No! I… I can't, it's all blurry and brief flashes in my head. We're at a small party after one of the lectures, there were attendee, teachers and students and someone took out a bottle to celebrate, they were quite happy with some of the subject I did an exposé on and they were saying something about great hope for the future but after that first shot, it's like black wall after that."
"You aren't the only one that attended who reported memory loss afterward. We haven't found the bottle to check if it was spiked intentionally or if it was one of those Canopus original blends that are already laced with narcotics nor who brought the alcohol. There were many who brought something as this was an informal event planned between the people who attended but we found no motive and since we couldn't free one of Tosh men for the investigation, we could not get a psychic reading either.
"Your escort is at fault to not check for poison and even more for partaking as well but we managed to get enough testimonies and recollection of the event that we knew that the tour continued to the Cybernetic Pavilion where the party seemed to continue for a few hours. You visited the installation and patient despite your advance inhibited state and that's where you were seen leaving with a few people."
Holding his throbbing head, Egon was doing his best to remember the events. "That right, we were visiting patient, some doctors were talking about some of the problems with neural desynchronization and… I… think I met a young lady there, a patient… yeah, she was a recurrent problem…? She kept going in and out of the hospital, and they couldn't find the cause… she had her family visiting! Yeah, that's it, I remember now, many people in the room and they cheered when I found the solution… I think we made a microchip to regulate the communication from the nerve to the CPU, we installed it and nnnnggg my head," he complained cradling it, the effort of remembrance worsening his condition "could I have some water please?"
Not feeling magnanimous Jim ignored the last part. "Nothing else?"
"… I think they were so happy they invited me as a thank you to celebrate…"
"We identified the lady in question, Miss Sylvie Touscan, a cabaret girl at the Crimson Windmill. Those who were there with her weren't her biological family but some of her coworkers. They took you back to their establishment out of the Capital Crimson city into the city sized entertainment area aka the Mindstar Enterprise compound, for a night with the tab on them."
Tychus laughed at that. "Doc here got more games than I thought, picking up cabaret girls at the hospital of all places. Neat trick to get a free night too, got to remember that one."
"You could fix a bi-way neuro-chip miscommunication feedback caused by untreated chronic illness?" Egon response was full of what could only be hungover sarcasm, which is three time more sarcastic than usual sarcasm.
"Probably not but you know me, I am sure I my presence would be a great balm on their ailment, right Jim?"
"With your bedside manners, I am sure you would make a great nurse Tychus." Jim turned toward the second marine in the room with a breastplate tag on the right side that said, 'Sgt. Tanya J. Alvarez'. "Sargent, the bag if you will."
The big off-green duffel bag was the standard one Dominion soldiers receive when they get recruited into service to carry their essential and personal effects. Like many things, the Raiders having so many members being ex-military from the Dominion pretty much adopted the design for their own. The bag looked quite full and made a mix of dull clinks and thump on the metal table when put down.
"After the cancan show and a backroom private dance, we know that after you spent some time in the VIP room and met some big corpo wigs that you made chummy with and after a few hours of partying, went with them somewhere in a limo, which is when we lost your trace. Beside a brief detour by the dropship 8 hours later where you took your bag and a SCV leaving a note saying, 'Be back in a jiffy, got to fix those lines!' we don't know where you went before going off world with those mercenaries almost another day later."
"For a sector where almost every sin is legal, it's surprisingly hard to identify one guy on a bender rolling around in an industrial mech. The police looked at me like it was the least useful lead ever. …" Tychus mused slowly puffing on his cigar,
"And we are going to look at your personal belonging with hope that we will have some leads you are going to help us retrace your steps", Jim said with a tone that indicated 'No' wouldn't be accepted. He made a gesture to the sergeant who lifted her armor visor for a better look and with a trumping nimbleness from the gauntlet thick fingers of the CMC-300, pulled the zipper of the overstuffed bag and immediately SCREAMED when a brown furred tennis ball with leathery wings and a face only a mother would love flew at her face hunched over the bag and started screeching like nails on chalkboard, making circles around the room and everyone at the speed of something trying to get out of hell. Which was followed by seven second of people screaming in panic, pulling their sidearms and trying to grab it when the door of the interrogation room opened with as hiss.
In a great hurry, a young black lady in bridge uniform bearing the Communication Officer patch barged in the room "Commander Raynor, Admiral Horner said you needed to see EEEEEEEK!!" ducking as Tychus let of a shot of his P220 pistol that bounced off the doorframe, missing the creature zooming past her in the corridor beyond, now screeching for freedom. Diminishing shout of surprise and sounds of thing being knocked over or dropped could be heard as the escapee went farther away.
The whole debacle could be excused because the fact anyone of this ship has an experience, near or far of various Zerg maw jumping at you. In Korpulu you learn to dodge whatever jumped at your face young or you died young.
Jim did not wait a second before shouting orders to the officer who entered the room. "GET THE EMMERGENCY HAZZARD DOORS CLOSE FOR THE SECTOR, WARN WHOEVER IS ON POST TO HUNT FOR WHATEVER THAT WAS!" Respect for the intruding woman, she snapped to attention immediately, all fear and surprise gone from her face, bolted out of the room and in the same movement of "YES SIR!" as the door closed behind her. Jim followed suit with grabbing his coms and immediately hit the priority channel to the Hyperion bridge, signalling to Horner "Matt, maroon with blue socks alert, I repeat we got a maroon with blue socks alert!" *
: Kudos to those who's recognize who the young woman was a reference of but an internet cookie to those who knows what sci-fi series this alert was pulled from. It's not exactly the right alert color for this situation either but Jim saying 'mocha with it's raspberry sauce' felt like it was pushing the silliness a bit too far here.
Matt only managed to respond "What!? But that the alert for unknow life form onboard, that's ." as the alarm stared screaming across the ship, the cell door locking, echoing the dull thuds of the bulwarks slamming down sending their vibration across the ship sector, entombing it.
Communication was cut off until multiple officers reported to their posts and confirmed various electronic and verbal codes as well as a few biological scanning to completely isolate the threat and to check if nobody was compromised like brain was treated like a sock puppet, a spy released a poison fart or a Zerg infesting your urinal tracks.
Everyone was also going to get a very invasive in frankly uncomfortable places medical checkup until everything was over.
Which was probably why the three officers in the room were giving Stetmann the stink eye to which he nervously replied:
"Hehehe… oops?"
After giving some of Jim personal authorisation codes to stop the alarm in the interrogation chamber and now cut off from the rest of the ship, there was nothing else to do but continue the interrogation, hopefully uninterrupted this time.
With much more apprehension, Miss Alvarez with the equivalent of the carefulness of an entire bomb disposal team, started pulling items from the messy bag one by one, listing them for procedural purpose.
Stetmann was trying to piece back is life.
Tychus gave comments because he found it funny.
And Jim whished he could be elsewhere and not be dealing with this.
Here is SOME of the abridged conversation he was depressingly privy of.
"One clear alcohol bottle with some golden liquid remaining inside. Label: Knock-out Golden Tequila, Alorton original tequila."/ "I don't even like tequila." / "I'm more of a bourbon man myself."
"One ugly Hawaiian shirt, unidentifiable stains. Dirty underwear… unidentifiable stains" / "I don't own a shirt like that… what happened to the rest of my clothes?" / "This is probably chocolate and this one is probably blood and that one is vomit."
"A… what the fuck… a rainbow-colored fish shaped bong with a very… pearly white smile." / "Something written on the side, let's see… 'Happy retirement Dr. Forb! From the Canopus Dentist association'. Why would you have someone else bong?" / "I don't know! I don't even smoke! Could your turn it around? The smile has way too many teeth in it…"
"More dirty underwear's, little plastic bags with three red and green pills in it, one grey sock with something round and heavy in it… aaaaaaaand we have a grenade. Sir?" she asks eying the commander who responded calmly "We'll have someone run the serial numbers and will get it checked for fingerprints" / "That's one permanent way to deal with athlete foot." / The frazzled scientist was looking at the implement of death like it would bite him. "Why would I have a grenade?!"
Putting the dangerous potato aside from the rest, she picked up the next few items in quick succession. "Lacy female underwear this time with a multi-bit screwdriver underneath, a smoldering iron, small set of pliers." / "Ok, those are mine." / "You kinky bastard." / "The tool! The tools are mine, you ass!" / "Who travel with their own tools?" / "I like tinkering sometimes."
Without waiting for the peanut gallery, she continued "An old yellowed soft paperback book titled 'All you need to know about counting cards. The ins and out of the strategies.'" / "Huh-oh, I think I know where this is going." / "Oh god please tell me I didn't." / "These might be related, here is a couples different casino chips / "I got away with it?" / "Those are some high denominations as well… Hey doc, what do you say you and I hit some table sometimes and work together?" / "".
Pulling a crumpled sheet of paper "A hotel bill in Dr Egon name, no, a paid hotel bill actually, from the Grand Palace Casino whit a total of… oh." / "" / Tychus starring in wide eyed shock, inhaling through his front teeth at the list and the numbers besides them. "Ah, I get it now, those chips are what is left. Room services, that's how they get you."
"Let's… let's deal with that later. Hum this look like some more bills-" / "" / "-which mainly look like fast food. Curry, Curry, seafood, curry, pie, curry pie, ice cream, curry." / "Ya sure love that curry place." / "I have a vague remembrance I spent a lot of time on the toilet on that dropship."
"Brown pants with burned holes in them… wait there is something bigger and heavy underneath it… it's… a giant golden key to Crimson City Hall." / "I can't even begin to think of what you did to get that." / "I think there was a podium… And a crowd who was cheering and I shook hand with a lady in a dress…"
"Next, we have another bottle, clear liquid, full, it's written with a maker on it, 'Pálinka', no official brand. Lovely." She said with suspicion / "Oh, homemade hooch as well? Now that's a much better way to party!" / "Ugh, I am getting sick just hearing the name. How much of that stuff did I drank while over there if just seeing the bottle is flipping my stomach?"
"I got another big one, there a handle, wait it's stuck, let me get it, ack!!" as she pulled the lengthy three foot object from the confine of the bag, it uncoiled like a spring, throwing a brassiere and plain white t-shirt in the air as the sparkly purple ribbed but soft and spongy looking exterior was doing it's best to get free of the massive power armor gauntlet holding it by wobbling like it was on fire, accompanied by a low rumbling sound filled the air. While the fingers CMC-300 can be very dexterous despite their sizes, weren't adapted to use the delicate command on the side of the handle, resulting in quite a few fumbling where low rumble changed to the high pitch of a different setting as the rapid wet flop reminiscent of a fish out of water transformed into the pattern of sinuous snake slithering across the sand before the 'off' switch was found.
Nobody was saying anything and were standing very still for a few more moment while Miss Alvarez fought a blush before slamming the device on the table with much more power armor strength than necessary. The glare she sent she sent to the rest of the men in the room was a clear enough message to make them rethink twice before saying anything even if Tychus was doing his god damn best to not laugh. Stetmann whose horror was split between apparently owning the massage implement or the remote chance it was used on him though the amount of disgust in the glare directed towards him was clearly unearned.
"NEXT! A GUN! Marginally better! SMG, Inner Sphere model two bullets left in the magazine and one in the chamber." / "That's poor firearm safety Doc, you don't let a bullet chamber like that." / "That's what bothers you about this?! I got an unknow automatic gun in my personal items with ONLY three bullets left!"
"Trophy for a sculpture contest. First place for Industrial-mech Assisted Creation division. Medium: metal and glasswork. Title: Alien life, The Zerg… "/ "Oh boy. I think we outta go back and get rid of that thing." / "… I made a statue… What am I? A filthy Liberal Art Student?!" / "That's what bother you about this?!"
"Another bill" / "Oh great what did I buy this time? A giant diamond? The most expansive available car? What did I spend a fortune on?!" / "One half of a shared tattoo located of left butt cheeks and right butt cheek for the other." / "What the fuck I am supposed to look at?! And who the hell is Jeff?!" / "From how that tattoo turned out, your better half!!" Tychus managed to squeeze out between two bouts of laughter.
"A pound? Yeah, about a pound of cocaine, a small box cutter, a half eaten candy bar, a framed photo with of you, god you look smug, on a white furry couch, neon sign in the background partially obscured but I think it's read 'THE PINK KITTEN', there is at least twenty scantily clad cat girls fawning over you, signed 'From everyone with love.' with a small arrow pointing to the edge of the photo?" "Written behind: For everything that you did, we can't thank you enough, our door will always be open for you, you can ask anything if you need it. Don't be a stranger and visit one of our travelling shows. (Insert little heart emoji here with lipstick emoji). / "I don't fucking believe it." / "I wish I could remember!" / "Then you are not going to believe this either, the card is a platinum, full access, lifetime membership card, with bio lock identity identification." / "What is your secret man? Common, can't you tell your buddy Tychus?"
"I think we hit the jack pot boys; this look like a pile of official documents. Let's see, we have… you have six million in actions in a company called Majestic Metals and Manufacturing." / "I have actions?" / "There is a note attached to it… 'Like agreed, in payment for our wager, I did not believe you could repair that production line like you said. Call us later so we can discuss about the resource issues and how you could hit us with this asteroid mining lostech." / "Ah, the note about the SCV make more sense now. Jimmy, we might wanna have a talk with these Majestic's people to make sure he didn't fix something TOO important if you know what I mean" / "Here we have an honorary Bachelor from the university of Luxen." / "I am a graduate!?" / "It's not over, here we have a court applied ban to the local HPG branch interdicting Dr. Egon Stetmann from ever setting foot on Canopus IV ComStar property ever again." / "I am BANNED?" / "No. After that, we have a… ok wow, ahem, a marriage certificate! Between you and a certain Miss Constance Owen now Stetmann." / "I AM MARRIED?!" / "And here we have a divorce certificate with said miss Stetmann now Owen again." / "Oh, thank god." / "I don't believe it; this is a second marriage certificate with a miss Verline Paris." / "I AM MARRIED?!! AGAIN?!!" / "Followed by another set of divorce papers" / "Don't do this to me… "/ "And for a third time married to a Kimiko Mulenga O'Malley" / "… and?" / "And what?" / "The divorce papers of course!" / "There is none, that's the end of the pile, the bag is pretty much empty now." / "… Fuck." /
It was Jim turn to have a headache. After this, they had way too many things they needed to follow up on. It's going to be a nightmare to clean up, they needed to run damage control yesterday, no, weeks ago!
"Egon, I hope you realize how dangerous and foolish what you did was. We need your mind intact to find a way back home, we cannot fail the people waiting for us."
"I know Commander, I understand. I am sorry this happen. I don't know why I did all this; it is like an unknown side of me I didn't know I had" The scientist did indeed look regretful.
"Is there anything that seem missing from this bag?"
"Most of the clothes I prepared for the trip seem to be missing," Egon path down himself, "my wallet, why am I not surprised… oh, I also usually carry a small notebook and my personal computer for when I want to take note or do some work in transit... Is this all you found? In the dropship? No? You said I was piloting a mech, in there maybe? Damn…"
Tychus, who thought 'Workaholics' were another form of alien looked puzzled at the last two items. "Didn't you accept to come on this trip for a break in your research? A distraction doesn't work if you bring said work with you, isn't it?"
"Do you know how many projects I work on at the same time? I lead six to five teams on top of my own personal research. I always carry something to take notes with me because I get inspiration at the oddest of time. Yes, I was in a slump in the research to go back home. and yes, this trip was so I could take off my mind of it and go back with a fresh outlook but what if I had an eureka moment when I was relaxing or eating or…"
"Egon, it's ok," Jim interrupting him before he really started rambling, "we understand. Was there something important on those?"
"No, not really, all the important stuff is in the Hyperion or on Dumassas. Especially on the computers there is some sparce details about some of the ongoing projects yes, like my schedules, schematics of prototypes, some ongoing equations I am trying to solve, some reports I hadn't finished reading or stuff like reminders or memos for later, some stuff I thought about adding or some test I thought I could perform later. Just putting down… Nothing major I assure you! All the top secrets and military stuff aren't on these." He clarified. "It was just so I could stay organized as I we were leaving for Canopus, to not forget anything you know. But afterward I did try to relax, I swear. Taking off my mind for all the current jobs so mostly my notes I took on this trip were on some ideas I had after checking the Star League era medical equipment, some equations I was working on for some theory I am working on and off. Oh, and seeing the egg-shaped dropship gave me the idea of some mech in an egg or egg shaped mech that… Ok that one was kind of stupid…"
Jim and Tychus gave each others a quick look from the corner of their eyes, confirming that they were on the same wavelength about this. The Raider chief science advisor did pull miracle out of is hat and some out the technologies he came up wit for their side were game changers. And those were only the ones that made it pass the prototype and testing phases. That mad scientist sometime did not realise the full implication of some of his ideas or why some of the projects he came up with were shot down. Egon put a high value on human lives as well as the ethic and morals of an experiment, that's what that put him in trouble with the Dominion after all. Buuuuuuuut sometimes he toed the line of 'its ALIVE! IT'S ALIIIIIIVEE!!!" or "Oh don't worry, its perfectly safe whoops!". Anything he came up with has a chance to be revolutionary or the potential to come back and bit them in the ass." They needed to find that computer and that notebook.
Seeing as they were pretty much done until they had some more answers "Ok, in the meantime, here what we are going to do. We are going to double the security around you as well as your research and I am sad to say but you are confined to the Hyperion for the foreseeable future until we manage to investigate… everything… we found in that bag as well as finding the base where the tech that has been built. Until then I want you to-" he was interrupted by the signal that the containment alert was now over. Practically at the same time, the intercom at the door buzzed.
Tychus being the nearest, pressed the response button. "Yes, what is it?"
"Hum, Sir, the alert is done, the infestation was contained. I have an urgent message for Commander Raynor from Admiral Horner. For his eyes only."
Tychus back at the man in question as to ask what wanted to do and with nod from Jim, he opened the door. It was the same woman from the bridge crew from earlier and as the door closed behind her, she gave a salute while clearly distrustful of the the man in power armor also in the room to see if he still had a weapon to shoot her with.
"At rest officer, report, what of the escaped animal?" While technically not under his command, Raynor had both respect and a little authority over the Hyperion personal.
The communication officer blinked a few times from a combination of not expecting that question or perhaps for being prevented from doing her assigned task a second, blinked a few times, trying to find the right word. "Threat contained sir. With minimal damage to the ship as well. The Medics even says the probing will be minimal as well."
It was Jim turn at blinking at the unexpected answer. "It was a small furry animal, not an Hydralisk, how could it damage the ship?"
"The boys in blue were a bit too, umm, enthusiastic. Like you said, it was a very small target and they said it was very swift and could fly all over the place. The Firebats cornered it, but it fled in the ventilation shaft. It was an engineer who caught it in a blanket and put it in one of the lab specimen enclosures. Now Engineering are in screaming match with the Firebats about the ventilation shaft… hum, sir you might need to go out there before it escalate."
Jim passed a hand over his face, in exasperation. "Every fucking day, I swear. You had a message for me, right? Why couldn't Matt simply tell me on my com?
"Oh right, I was the one on the console when we picked up a message from the HPG Network and the computer deciphering it flagged something related to us. When I showed it to the Admiral he decided that you should it right away because it's about…" she paused as she finally took in the tableau of the room with the messy cluttered table full of questionable items, brown eyes resting a tad longer on all the alcohol, drugs, female underwear and a purple object suggestive nature, until finally landing on the hirsute man who looked like he desperately needed a shave, a shower and a greasy breakfast, not necessarily in that order. Raynor knew the most vile and distorted rumors would all over the ship before the day cycle was over.
She shook her head to clear whatever bawdy imagery her mind was conjuring and resumed seamlessly "he believed it was tied to the matter at hand and you needed to know about this right away. He did not trust the ship system for the privacy, and he sent me to limit the number of people seeing this until it was decided what to do."
She handed him the data pad she was clutching under her left arm. "It's being openly broadcasted on the HPG Network, sir. It's going to make the round on every station in the Inner Sphere."
As Jim entered his personal code and began to read the message, his eyes widened in shock, promptly putting the tablet on the table on top of some of the mess for the rest to see.
On the screen accompanied with Stetmann face plastered on it, you could read:
WANTED
by the Magistracy of Canopus:
Egon Stetmann
30 000 000 C-bill
ALIVE ONLY.
To be delivered tied and naked, directly
to Magestrix Kyalla bedchambers.