It hurt him to see Ryuji like this. Locked away in his room and refusing to open the door. Luckily, both Ryuji and Yuta had the day off, but Yuta couldn't just let his dear friend wallow in his room alone all day.
He didn't really think anything of it when Kazuna had sent out a message to the B-Project group chat last night.
"Meet downstairs for breakfast at 9:30am tomorrow, there's something important we need to discuss as a group"
Yuta had just thought it was Kazuna trying to organise something where all the members could catch up together. They'd all been so busy with solo work lately, that despite living in the same complex, they barely saw each other.
He first noticed something was off when he walked into the common room and couldn't see Ryuji as he scanned the group. Yuta, Hikaru and Haruhi, being the late risers that they were, had walked into the downstairs cafe together after meeting in the lift, late expecting to be the last ones there, like they usually were for group meetings.
More often than not, Ryuji would be one of the first members there, and he would usually come with Tomohisa, so it struck Yuta as odd to find Tomohisa already sitting at the head of the table the rest of the group were gathered at, with no Ryuji in sight.
Yuta's suspicions that something was wrong were confirmed once everyone had sat down and Tomohisa began to talk about an announcement he and Kazuna had to make.
"We're in a relationship."
As Tomohisa continued to talk, Kazuna chiming in every now and again, things began to click into place in Yuta's head. Yuta had known Tomohisa and Ryuji for a long time, since their starting days at Bambi. They were close, even closer than himself and Ryuji. He had to have already told him, Ryuji must already know. It explained why Ryuji wasn't here right now, he didn't need to be, didn't want to be. Yuta couldn't even begin to process the feelings Ryuji must be going through right now. All these years with Tomohisa, and this is what it had come to.
As everyone congratulated and teased the new couple, having seen how the two had danced around each other over the years, Yuta couldn't help but continue to think about Ryuji's well being. He congratulated the couple as well of course, though he could hear his words were more hollow than the light warmth of his friends'.
Yuta had quickly finished his breakfast after most of the excited chatter had died down, leaving the table with a quickly thrown together smile and an excuse about how he'd picked up a really good manga last night and couldn't wait any longer to spend his entire day off continuing to read it.
Under this guise, and knowing that Tomohisa had work scheduled for the rest of the day, Yuta had run up to Kitakore's apartment, and quickly punched in the numbers to unlock the door.
And that's how he'd found himself sitting on the floor with his back leaning against the locked door to Ryuji's room for the last hour.
He was currently at a stalemate with him, Yuta refused to leave Ryuji alone till he saw that he was okay, and Ryuji refused to open the door, or even speak to him at this point.
"Ryu-chan, you can't stay in there forever, you're gonna have to at least come out to eat at some point"
No response.
Though Yuta could tell he was still in there and conscious by the sound of rustling bed sheets.
Yuta sighed.
Getting up, he headed over to the kitchen. He wasn't particularly good at cooking, but he'd have a look around and see if there was anything simple he could make that might coax Ryuji out of his room. He was getting tired of talking to a brick wall, and pretty concerned that it seemed like Ryuji had yet to eat anything for the day.
Opening the fridge, he scanned the shelves from top to bottom. He was surprised to find it was actually very full.
On the top shelf, he found a couple of slices of strawberry sponge cake from the bakery him and Ryuji had discussed after a job together last week. The store was supposed to be famous for its perfectly whipped, perfectly sweetened, and perfectly flavoured creams. There weren't too many bakeries around that did flavoured creams, so it peaked his and Ryuji's curiosity as they had discussed the pros and cons of adding such an element to their favourite sweet, creamy delicacies.
It looked delicious, but Yuta knew from experience that sweet treats taste even sweeter when you eat them while you're in a good mood, with good company. It'd be a waste to eat it while Ryuji was clearly upset.
The cake box was pressed up against a myriad of other sweet treats and ingredients to make others; jams, various chocolate and berry toppings, cream, red bean paste, jelly, it was really quite a collection. He made a mental note to come crash Kitakore's apartment the next time Kento confiscated his own sweet treats. None of this was what he needed right now though.
The next shelf down seemed to contain mostly savory ingredients and leftovers; a dozen or so eggs, some very expensive looking beef, steamed vegetables, leftover rice, a couple of dubious looking substances that were probably somewhat failed attempts at cooking…
He supposed he could try to make Ryuji and omelette, or maybe even Omurice. A memory of the last time he attempted to cook Omurice flashed through his mind. He shuddered. Hikaru, Haruhi and him had almost burnt down MooNs' apartment in an attempt to fix some lunch for themselves a couple of months ago.
He shook his head and glanced down to the third shelf to find plenty of bottles of water for easy access after a rehearsal or workout. There were several different types; sparkling, still, purified, how many different kinds of water could two people need really?
Yuta spies some more leftovers on this shelf, and then he sees it. A fairly large, bowl shaped container. 'Bingo!' he thinks to himself.
He pulls it out of the fridge, closes the door, and sets the container on the counter next to the stove. Prying open the lid, he sees the exact sort of thing he was looking for. A thin, red liquid with chopped vegetables and pasta floating in it; unmistakably soup. A comforting food, something that, even at Yuta's skill level, he'd be able to heat up, and would hopefully be a scent that would waft into Ryuji's room and lure him out.
Usually, Yuta would just chuck food in the microwave to heat it up, he didn't bother to get too familiar with the kitchen, much too busy with his work, and wanting to spend his spare time in more fun ways than messing around with all the dials on an oven. But, Yuta knew, specifically from the numerous lectures he'd gotten from Gochin when heating up soup for himself, that just microwaving the soup for 3 minutes wouldn't produce the same lingering, warm, scent as heating it up slowly over the stove top. So he set to work trying to find where the members of Kitakore kept their pots and pans.
In the third cupboard he opened, he found them, and began skimming the shelves for a small saucepan. Now, Yuta wasn't short in any way, standing at 175cm put him right between Gochin and Kenken, and coincidentally, also right in between Ryuji and Tomohisa. However, when Yuta noticed the exact saucepan he was looking for was on the top shelf, ever so slightly out of reach, he had to wonder if Kitakore's Kitchen was built specifically with Tomo-kun's stature in mind.
Not one to be deterred by this small obstacle, Yuta decided that jumping to reach the saucepan wouldn't be out of the question. It was on top of a stack of two other slightly bigger saucepans, and the handle was jutting out from the pile. If he could just grab it while he jumped, he'd be able to get down to business.
What Yuta didn't account for in this situation, was his tendency to be a bit on the clumsy side. So when he jumped up, successfully grabbed onto the small saucepan's handle, and pulled it down from the cupboard, he didn't expect the rest of the pile of saucepans to come crashing down with it.
He watched, almost as if in slow motion, as one of the saucepans hit the marble counter top on its side, only to fall over and clip the edge of the container of soup, flipping it into the air, and spilling the dark red liquid and all of the chunks within it, all over the surface and the floorboards beneath it, permeating the acidic smell of the tomato base throughout the cool air of the apartment. Yuta flinched as the loud clang of metal bounced off the walls, and rattled between his ears.
Then, he heard a door slam open.
"Yuta what the hell are you doing!?"
Yuta flinched again, this time, at Ryuji's harsh tone. Well, he supposed, that was one way to draw him out of his room.
"hehe, well, I kinda knocked some stuff down from the cupboard while I was trying to make you something to eat and uh..." He began sheepishly.
"No big deal though! I'll have it cleaned up in no time!" Yuta rang out cheerily. Any sense of normalcy might do Ryuji some good.
"You don't cook Yuta. You'd be better off sticking to cup ramen." Ryuji deadpanned
"What could you have possibly been trying to make anyway?"
Ryuji peers around Yuta to see the crime scene of soup behind him.
"ahh, it was just something I found in the fridge. I thought I could heat some up for you, but i guess that'd be kind of difficult n-" Yuta trailed off when he saw Ryuji's annoyed expression fall into something more forlorn.
"What's wrong Ryu-chan?"
"Huh? Oh. Nothing, nothing at all." He cleans up his expression and attempts to strain it into something neutral, his usual bored, uninterested look, but his eyes continue to swim with pain.
"That's the leftovers from the Minestrone Tomo made last night"
"Oh."He'd unintentionally hit a landmine. Yuta had originally come here intending to comfort Ryuji, but after all this time of just sitting and waiting for him to come out, he'd lost all the words he'd wanted to say.
Looking at Ryuji now, he noticed what state his close friend was in. It was 12pm and he was still in his pyjamas, breezy shorts and an oversized t-shirt that hung off his left shoulder, his hair was messy, a bird's nest forming at the back, evidence of the tossing and turning of a restless night's sleep. And when he looked to his face, he noticed his skin was duller than it usually was after his 10 step skincare routine and his "mandatory 8 hours of beauty sleep" and that there were bags settling in underneath Ryuji's eyes.
"I'm going back to my room, just call the cleaners or whatever" Ryuji turned around and headed back down the hallway, but this time, Yuta ran after him, entering Ryuji's room before he could lock the door behind him.
"What is it Yuta?" Ryuji sighed.
"I heard the news...about Tomo-kun and Massu i mean…."
Ryuji sighed again, but this time bigger, and his body collapsing onto his bed with it, any and all energy used to keep up façades seeming to evaporate from his body.
He rubs his hands over his face and rests his elbows on his knees.
"I just don't know what to do, Yuta."
Ryuji's voice was so quiet, if there had been any other noise to fill the deafening silence in the room, Yuta would have questioned whether he heard anything at all. He sits down next to Ryuji on the bed, keeping enough distance between them to give Ryuji the space he needed while he sorted himself out. Yuta had learnt long ago that Ryuji usually hated being touched when he was upset.
"I should be happy for him, I should be a good friend and support him and Kazu, but i just…can't"
Ryuji was clearly distraught and conflicted, torn between being happy for his best friend, and desperately wishing he could keep Tomohisa all to himself, wishing he'd said something to him sooner, wishing he hadn't let his fear hold him back.
It was no secret to Yuta that Ryuji had feelings for the other half of Kitakore. He's caught glimpses so many times over the years of him becoming a flustered, blushing mess at some of Tomohisa's words and actions. Of course, the prince was blind to all of this, but whether he was actually that ignorant and dumb, or if it was just an act he put on to keep Ryuji at arms length, Yuta still wasn't sure.
Either way, it didn't matter now, the damage had been done, Ryuji's heart was broken, and he was sure Tomohisa had done as much as he could the previous night to soften the blow.
It hurt, Yuta realised, not just Ryuji, but himself. Yuta had thought about this moment in passing every now and again, mostly sure it would be inevitable. He thought he would have been more relieved. Relieved that the game was finally over, relieved that he'd finally stop feeling like an extra in Tomohisa and Ryuji's love story, or a third wheel when they hung out together.
But all he felt was pain and sorrow as Ryuji hesitantly leaned towards him and rested his head on Yuta's shoulder.
"Ryuji…" Yuta's voice came out softer than he had expected, a caring sigh in the silence of the room.
And that was the trigger.
Yuta felt Ryuji's hot tears begin to soak through the fabric of his shirt.
He'd never seen Ryuji like this, Yuta realised. Ryuji had comforted him countless times, but he'd never given him a chance to return the favour, always bottling everything up on his own, and when he did need some sort of support, Tomohisa would be the first person he'd turn to.
But Ryuji couldn't go to Tomohisa this time, not when he was the route of the issue. Yuta came to another realisation; Ryuji had never had to reach out and actually ask for support from someone before. With Tomohisa by his side and how well they knew each other, it always seemed like Tomohisa instinctively knew exactly what Ryuji needed, even if no words were spoken between the two.
It must have been difficult for Ryuji to let Yuta in like this, to let him see him like this. He hated showing any kind of weakness around others as it was, to let Yuta into some of his darkest and most intense feelings made him feel as though they'd become even closer than before.
He brought a hand up to brush through Ryuji's purple tangles as best as he could. Yuta wasn't great at the whole comfort thing, he was more in the line of cheering people up or distracting them from their feelings with his ridiculous antics, but for Ryuji, he'd try his best.
"What will I do without him?" Yuta heard Ryuji sniffle.
"He's not dead Ryu-chan." Yuta regretted the quip as soon as it came out of his mouth. He was so stupid, now wasn't the time for jokes or sarcasm, Ryuji needed reassurance.
"I mean, he'll still be around, he'll still be there for you. You'll still be Kitakore, you'll still be best friends. Do you really think one relationship could end your years of friendship? I've been friends with you two since I started at Bambi. I've seen how well you two know each other, I've seen how much you lov- care about each other" Yuta narrowly dodged using the "L" word, there was no knowing what could set Ryuji off.
"but it hurts...it hurts seeing Tomo with...with him…"
Yuta had to hold back a bitter laugh at that. Oh, the irony of the position he was in right now. Yuta has spent so long hurting in the same way. Ryuji could assure him all he liked that he was just as important to him as Tomohisa, but he never looked at him the way he looked at Tomo-kun, he wouldn't be crying over Yuta falling in love with someone else, he'd probably congratulate him and tell him not to screw it up.
Nonetheless, this wasn't something Yuta could dwell on now. He couldn't resent Ryuji for the way he felt, and he couldn't let his thoughts spiral into a dark cloud, not when Ryuji needed him most.
"It'll get better in time" Yuta lied through his teeth. When would it get better for him? How many years had he been watching Ryuji and Tomohisa sadly from a distance?
Ryuji's tears slowed after some time and he awkwardly shifted off of Yuta's shoulder, ashamed that he had exposed himself so much. Yuta fell back into jokester mode to relieve the tension.
"Well, now you'll just have to hang out with me more often I guess! You're stuck with me now!!"
"As if I haven't been stuck with you since the day we met" Ryuji gave Yuta a soft, grateful smile.
With the tension successfully cut, the pair fell back into their usual light banter.
"I'm making you clean up the kitchen yourself by the way, Yuta. I had no part in making that mess"
Yuta dramatically fell back onto Ryuji's bed with a groan.
"Ughh, I'll do it later~"
Ryuji got up and pulled on his arm, slowly dragging him off the bed.
"Come on, before it stains the floorboards. I'd prefer if my kitchen didn't permanently look like a murder scene!"