It always starts off the same.
"Come sit with me?"
Viktor never knows what sets it off. For Jayce's eyes to lose focus and his mind to fall into a void where he can't follow.
The tap once again leaking and dripping over and over.
The skitter of some creature on the roof.
A gear from the clock he's repairing accidentally dropping from lithe fingers to the floor and rolling away.
Perhaps simply just existing is enough of a trigger.
All he knows is that sharp brilliant mind he loves so much gets a little lost in the fog and he's always there to help bring him back.
Help bring him home.
He intertwines his fingers with Jayce's and slowly starts to lead him away. Away from the house. Away from the ghosts haunting them both. Away from unknown harm.
"The weather's so lovely today we shouldn't waste it inside." He always says, even if the weather isn't actually so lovely. He rarely gets a response back. He doesn't need one. Jayce's hand is still in his and that's all that matters. Once he thought it ironic. Before Jayce was always the one trying to drag him outside. Away from work. Away from stress. Away from expectations. "We deserve a break Viktor, come on" he'd always say and Viktor would huff and argue back. That they don't have time. They'd never have enough time. He'd never have enough time. Still he'd get up from his stool and follow his lab partner out to the academy gardens. Jayce had always been the one there for him in those times. It's fitting that he's now always the one there for Jayce.
He meanders them away from the house a little, closer to the brook that trickles on endlessly, where the wild flowers bloom best. The bubble and babble of the water is gentle enough to soothe without being too harsh to grate on the nerves and every now and then a bug flitters by. It's idyllic really. After everything they've been through one might say it's heaven.
They never really worked out where the arcane spat them out. All they knew was that the house was theirs and the folk of the local town took them in without second thought. Wary at first admittedly. But they never asked about the arcane markings that faintly glistened across their skin, the crown of opalescent fingerprints that adorned Jayce's forehead. Never asked why they never spoke about the past before their now. Never asked what horrors scarred their hearts and minds. Just let them join their ranks and work to help better their lives. Like how they wanted to do with hextech, before everything all went wrong.
He traces circles into his partner's hand, a comforting motion for the both of them. He remembered Jayce doing similar actions with the rune stone, thumb tracing over brass, leather and magic whilst his mind got lost in the weeds of whatever task he had at hand. He doesn't do that anymore. Instead he scratches aimlessly where the stone once sat.
They'd once tried making a replacement cuff. Some cut off leather from a local tack maker and some metal scraps they could shape into the Talis insignia. Viktor had held the material to his wrist to work out where the fastenings should go. Panic flickered across hazel eyes and the chair clattered to the floor as Jayce backed away, clutching his wrist close to his chest.
Away from Viktor. Away from his reach. Away in fear.
"It's too much." was all he said when he calmed down. The leather and metal went in their box of spare parts and materials waiting for another chance to be used. Out of sight out of mind, purposely forgotten about.
That night Viktor shushed and soothed his partner as he broke down, a butterfly kiss for every sorry he choked out.
They never spoke about it again.
They reach their regular spot, grass worn down from hours spent in each other's company and the next part of the routine begins. Viktor lets go of the hand in his, turns and gently taps on Jayce's shoulder. It takes a second but he gives way and sits and the smaller man follows; nestles himself in-between study legs and leans his back against a sturdy chest. Sometimes he takes back one of Jayce's hands and holds it over his own chest. Right above his heart. Sometimes that's enough to guide him back into reality, to have him press his nose into rich brown hair and take deep shuddering breaths. His other arm will wrap around him and pull his love as close as possible, like he's trying to merge them together. Like he's trying to make a home for Viktor in his ribcage so they might never be apart again. Sometimes he silently cries, his whole frame trembling with each heartbeat.
Most of the time though Viktor sits and watches the light bounce off the water's surface and waits. He brings a notebook and pencil and rambles about mundane life things. About meal prep and news he heard from the locals, a random animal he spotted out of the window. Sometimes he talks about ideas for new toys they should make for the town kids and what parts they might need . "Marie wants a plush dog, I think that's a little out our wheelhouse but what if we-" and he'd list off his ideas. Whittled animal figures from the chunks of wood too good for the fire. A little steam boat that he wants to test a new mechanism on. A wind up animal that's most definitely not a monkey. There is in fact a ban on everything monkey related. Sometimes Jayce hums back in reply. When he's not too lost but words still escape his grasp. Other times he just sits and watches the water, not really seeing, not really hearing. On those days, when the fog seems too impenetrable Viktor shuffles them around, pulls Jayce's head into his lap and they stay like that until the sun sets and the wind gets a little too cold and Jayce suddenly falls back into himself. With a sudden shocking breath and a groan as he pushes himself upright he'd mumble "Viktor you haven't eaten anything,"
"this is bad for your leg,"
"you must be cold,"
"let's head in now".
In most cases though Jayce's hands work clumsily on muscle memory, seemingly unaffected by the pressing fog, and finding themselves in Viktor's hair. Mindlessly separating long locks into sections and slowly but surely braiding them together. Right over middle. Left over middle. Right under middle. Fingers brushing through to undo the work. Rinse and repeat. Over and over.
When they first showed up at their new home Viktor's hair just about tickled the top of his shoulders. He'd thought now there were no traces of magic running through his veins it'd return back to shades of warm brown. But instead there were tendrils of iridescence and gold scattered through like shooting stars trailing across a night sky. He hadn't thought much of it but Jayce had thoughts. Many a thought. He could tell. Could tell every time he'd feel the heat of hazel eyes watching him pull it into a half up style to stop it obscuring his vision. Could tell when Jayce would pull him into a hug after his shower, burying his face into the top of his head and enjoying the scent of his shampoo. Could tell when they'd lie tangled together before falling asleep and calloused fingers would run through the strands, twirling a shimmering lock round and around, teasing out any tangles.
"You know, you don't have to cut it short again," he shyly said, eyes looking everywhere but where Viktor lay, a blush sitting high on his cheeks.
"Oh? You like it like this huh? And if I find it annoying to maintain?"
"I'll help. I'll always help."
So he kept growing his hair out, even though he hates how it tangles and tickles his skin too much. Just for Jayce. He thinks it's the least he can do for him, after everything.
In the first days of them beginning this ritual the braids were sloppy; loose locks falling out here and there and a little uneven to one side. Jayce would look at his handiwork and try to fix it up as best as he could. His shaky hands normally made it worse. He'd whisper an apology and go to undo it but Viktor would simply take his hands and lightly kiss his fingers.
"It's beautiful love. You always treat me so well, thank you," and with that they'd stand to stagger back home, Jayce feeling a little more himself again and Viktor smiling as he fidgets with the ends of his hair. Both feeling loved.
Slowly Jayce got better, even testing harder styles every now and then. Viktor hadn't known at the time but Jayce would ask some of the girls in town for help, offering whatever they'd like in return. He only found out after seeing his partner walk out of the sweet shop with several bags of treats for the gaggle of girls following him. He didn't disturb the scene. Instead took his time to commit it to memory. Briefly he wondered about how good Jayce would be with their own kids in the future. It becomes a recurring thought every time fingers gently scratch at his scalp. Never before did he want to be a father but now, he thinks, he'd like that. Having a family with the only person he'll ever want to be with. Once they're both better.
Today's braid is a simple 3 strand braid. Jayce is too far away for anything more complicated than that. Under, over, under, over. He never tugs too hard accidentally. Never accidentally snags a strand on a hangnail. His hands work in perfect sync with each other out of memory. Every few moments they take a pause and he looks to the flowers below him. He doesn't see them fully, just flashes of colour through the haze clinging to his mind. He picks whichever he likes and threads the stem into his work. Yellows, pinks, blues and lilacs dotted against starlit hair. Viktor knows when it comes to bed time Jayce will carefully remove them with equal care and place them in the vase in the kitchen. A little chipped blue and white thing they got in exchange for fixing up a elderly couple's walking stick.
Viktor had been talking about needing Jayce's help with a crutch for one of the local kids, "eh, fours hands are better than two after all," but with each flower added he felt more and more at peace. Content. And slowly his words came to a halt. His eyes slipped close and he enjoyed the feel of the sun on his skin and hands in his hair. To think he once thought anything other than this could be perfection.
When he wakes the sun is starting to set the sky ablaze and the odd star or two could be seen peeking out. The notebook he'd taken with them is no longer in his hand but he can't find it within himself to care about its whereabouts. He vaguely hears the shifting of pages and the scratching of his pencil. He sighs, stretches slender limbs out and leans back against his companion. He feels the rumble of a deep chuckle and a kiss pressed to the crown of his head.
"Who's the one losing time now hm?"
"There's no losing anything when my time's spent with you."
They stay just like that for a short while, before the wind cuts too harsh and the warmth of the sun almost vanishes. A huff and a grumble and once again Viktor finds himself leading Jayce back home. They both know there'll be another time. It used to terrify them both. That they might never heal. That they'll never be themselves again. Both of them grieving the loss of their former selves with dreams and ideals too big to hold. But no matter how much they change they both know they'll be by each other's side. It was a promise after all.
They'll do this together.