Summary: Kazuna and Tomohisa's activities have left an uneasy feeling in Kazuna that has been growing with each passing day. With Kazuna, unable to be honest and express his concerns, Mikado and Momotaro seek help from an expert.

"I can't believe you and Tomohisa spent a whole day together having sex without actually having it." Kento set his wine glass down on the coffee table.

Kazuna sighed, rubbing his temples, "I can't believe Mikado told you about it…"

Kento leaned back against the couch, crossing one leg over the other, "Well if he hadn't told me, you would have never brought it up. You tend to hide your worries until they're pried out of you or you breakdown."

Kazuna looked at the wine glass in his hand, tilting it and making the wine go in small circles inside the cup.

Mikado and Momotaro had gone out for the evening. Kazuna had thought he would get some quiet time to relax without his roommates there but Mikado had called Kento over. According to Kento, Mikado told him that Kazuna needed a 'love expert'. It's been almost two weeks since he stayed over at Tomohisa's place.

"Tomohisa…." Kazuna began, "He told me that… he.. l-loves me" He mumbled into the glass as he sipped some of the wine.

Kento brought his hand to his chin, "Ah, and I bet you didn't say it back so that's why you've been avoiding going to his place."

"How did you-"

"What? You don't think I keep in touch with everyone?" Kento fiddled with his bangs, "Tomohisa's an airhead sometimes but that doesn't mean he doesn't have his own worries. I really wonder how you two have managed to keep a relationship for this long when both of you are so bad at communicating with each other. You're worried that something is wrong with you and that that's why Tomohisa didn't have real sex with you. And Tomohisa is racking his brain trying to figure out if he did anything to make you upset so he can apologize properly."

Kazuna blushed, "I-i'm not upset with him or anything… I.. I just feel awkward knowing that he l… lo-l…. That he has deeper feelings for me… And that I can't return them."

Kento patted Kazuna on the shoulder, "Don't rush yourself, I'm sure Tomohisa will be waiting for the time when you feel like you know. That guy thinks at his own pace so he probably didn't want to wait and he wanted to tell you he loves you as soon as he knew."

Kazuna tucked some strands of lose hair behind his ear, "What about you and Goshi?"

Kento blinked, "Eh? You mean about the whole 'I love you' thing?"

Kazuna nodded, "Yes, when did you two say it to each other?"

The blue haired man rubbed his neck. "It wasn't in the most… conventional way that it happened…" he cleared his throat, seeing that Kazuna was really eager to know.

"Well you know as well as anyone that Goshi and I have had our fair share of arguments…" He began, "Remember a few years back when I was dating Mikado?"

The blonde nodded.

"After Momotaro challenged me to a sword match for Mikado's hand,"

Mikado had explained after the fact that Kento and himself were pretending to date just to see how the others would react.

"Goshi started acting strange. He was more irritable, which I didn't even know was possible." Kento chuckled, "Thinking back on it he was very cute and childish, but at the time it was frustrating that he would get upset over every little thing I did."

The taller man picked up his wine glass again, taking a sip from it and sighing, "But it was while we were arguing, it slipped out that is pissed him off that I was always watching others but I wasn't able to notice that he loves me." The corner of his mouth curved into a small smile, "I had always suspected something but that confirmed it for me, I was just worried about ruining our friendship that was already kinda rocky."

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me." Kazuna rubbed his neck.

"Goshi and I we have our own communication issues sometimes, but I feel that when you're bluntly honest with each other it's easier to tell when the other isn't feeling themselves." Kento set his now empty glass down.

"For you and Tomohisa it's different. Kazu, Tomohisa will tell you honestly what he's feeling or thinking if you ask. That guy has a weird way going about things so I understand where your confusion might come from when dealing with him. But it's important that you also find the ability in yourself to express your concerns with him, not leave him to figure it out on his own, you'll never get anywhere like that."

"I know…" Kazuna grumbled into his glass, "It's just embarrassing.."

"I'm sure you've made more embarrassing noises in his bed"

"K-Kento!!" Kazuna blushed darkly.

"What?" Kento raised an eyebrow, "It's true, isn't it?"

Kazuna's blush darkened, he didn't even want to think about all the noises he'd made. That alone was enough to get him worked up and it wouldn't be good with Kento still at the apartment.

"Anyways…" He had to change the subject quickly, "How long are you in town for?"

Kento and Goshi were always traveling, doing shows together. They had their own place in the city but rarely stayed there.

"Mmm, we were actually thinking of settling down for a while…" Kento brought his hand to his chin.

Kazuna blinked, "Eh? Why?" He thought Goshi and Kento loved traveling.

"You'll find out soon enough." Kento grinned.

Kento didn't stay much longer after that, he refused to explain to Kazuna what it was that he was going to 'find out', but he let it rest and saw Kento out to his cab.

Now alone in the apartment, Kazuna closed the door and sighed. It was only 10pm, maybe he could text Tomohisa. He took his phone out of his back pocket, his finger brushed over Tomohisa's name in his text log.

Kazuna: Hey, are you awake?

Kazuna hit send and exhaled, half hoping Tomohisa was asleep. He walked down the hall to his room, after drinking that bottle of wine with Kento he could really use a bath. Just as he was about to leave the his room for his bath, he hears his phone ding with a notification.

He walks over to his bed and picks up his phone, reading the message.

I was just getting into bed o I'm so happy to receive a text from you Kazu!

Kazuna felt his face heat up, he could hear his voice in his head as he read the text.

You could have texted me too, you know. You didn't have to wait for me to text you

He grumbled aloud what he was typing.

Ah,

Tomohisa replied right away,

I was worried perhaps I had upset you, I haven't seen you at the cafe.

Kazuna felt his heart sink. Even though Kento had already told him this, reading it and knowing Tomohisa sent it…. That Tomohisa is laying in bed feeling this way because of him…

There was another ding,

If I did do something, I apologize. It was never my intention to hurt Kazu in anyway.

He bit his lip, his hands shaking as he held onto his phone, "You didn't do anything, idiot."

Why was Tomohisa worrying about him? Tomohisa has every right to be upset from being ignored and yet Tomohisa worries about him.

Can I see you..?

right now, i mean..

Kazuna swallows the lump in his throat, awaiting a response. He had to sit on his bed his legs felt weak.

Why was he taking so long to answer?

Should he send another message? Would that seem too pushy? He might have fallen asleep after al-

I'll be there in 10 minutes

Kazuna's heart flipped in his chest. He'd meant for him to go to Tomohisa's place but Mikado and Momo weren't home so it should be fine.

He shook his head quickly, what did it matter if they weren't home he and Tomohisa were just going to talk.

Tomohisa said he'd be there in ten minutes.

Ten minutes…

Kazuna quickly grabbed his things and went into the bathroom, he could shower in five minutes. Thinking about Tomohisa coming over, he just couldn't get the possibility of something more happening out of the back of his head and he wanted to feel clean.

He closed his eyes as the warm air from the hair dryer hit his face. Replaying over and over in his head what he wanted to say to Tomohisa and how he would say it.

The hair dryer almost slipped out of his hand when he heard the doorbell go off. Putting on his slipper and a jacket he opened the door and went downstairs. Momotaro's flower shop was connected to their apartment and the only way in was through from the staircase in the shop.

As he neared the bottom of the stairs Kazuna realized he was rushing and he slowed his pace, clearing his throat as he walked over to the glass doors where Tomohisa was standee. He was wearing the same gray coat he'd let Kazuna borrow that time he slept over because of his fever.

"Kazu." Tomohisa greeted him with that soft, loving smile that made Kazuna's heart do flips in his chest.

"C-come inside… it's cold out there.." Kazuna held open the door, locking it once again after Tomohisa had come inside. "We can talk upstairs…" He avoided eye contact with the taller man as he made his way to the staircase, listening to the footsteps that followed him.

"I haven't come here in a long time, not much has changed." Tomohisa smiled, looking at all the plants that decorated the living space.

"Momotaro is usually the one who decorates and moves things around, something about changing the flow of energy. Ah, do you want something to drink?" Kazuna looked at him finally as he went to the kitchen.

"Just water is fine."

Tomohisa removed his coat, hanging it on the coat rack on the back of the door, then walking into the living room. "Hmm, the energy certainly feels much more refreshing." he noted.

"Really? I really can't feel much of a difference from how it use to be." Kazuna laughed softly, walking over and setting a glass of water on the coffee table.

Kazuna fiddled with his thumbs. Even though he'd repeated in his head countless times what he wanted to say to Tomohisa, now that he was here all of that preparation flew out the window.

"T… tomohisa.." Kazuna began.

Tomohisa stared directly at his with his gentle ocean blue eyes. It was so difficult to concentrate, but he had to clear up this misunderstanding!

"I-i'm not upset with you…!" He looked directly into Tomohisa's eyes, hoping Tomohisa would be able to see his honesty in his eyes, "Y.. you didn't make me mad or anything, I-I'm the one who… who's been uh…" His words were stuck in his throat, he wanted them to come out, he needed them to come out. "I... " Kazuna felt his face grow hot, unable to maintain eye contact he looked down at his hands, "W.. we spent all that time together.. Doing all those… those things… But you never um…" He tucked his hair behind his ear, "How do I say this without sounding weird uh…"

Tomohisa blinked as he watched Kazuna's strange flustered behavior. He reached over and gently placed his hand over Kazuna's.

"Kazu… It's okay, you can tell me anything, the fact that you're trying so hard to explain what you're feeling." His grip on Kazuna's hand tightened, "That alone, it makes me feel… like I'm becoming someone special to you… Maybe that thought is selfish-"

"It's not!" Kazuna clasped his hands around Tomohisa's hand, "Tomohisa you… To me, you're someone who I care about as more than just a friend. Each day that passes shows me how much of a mess I become just thinking about what I can do so that you don't get bored of me…. I'm not an interesting person. I don't have charm like you that draws people to me or the ability to socialize as easy as you. That why…. Ever since we did those things…. I haven't been able to stop worrying that maybe I wasn't good enough for you."

Tomohisa's expression saddened, "Kazu….."

"I know you probably had your reasons for not wanting to do it…. But part of me couldn't help but think that maybe you weren't interested. And I started to avoid you, afraid that if we talked you would tell me you've lost interest in me, that I wasn't what you were expecting…." Kazuna could feel tears well up in his eyes, "I made assumptions all on my own and I believed them..."

Tomohisa wrapped his arms around Kazuna's trembling frame, "Kazu…. All this time, you were suffering this much by yourself... " He hugged the blonde tighter, "I'm sorry I also left you alone, I could have reached out to you but I didn't and that only lead you to feel more of these emotions."

Kazuna gripped onto Tomohisa's shirt, hugging him back just as tightly, "I promise I'll try to talk to you first…. Instead of just shutting myself away…"

Tomohisa's nose nuzzled against Kazuna's hair, "And I promise I'll break the door down if you do shut yourself away…."

The silence felt comforting, Kazuna could hear Tomohisa's heartbeat. He wanted to stay in Tomohisa's arm longer. Maybe it was the wine he'd drank with Kento earlier, but he felt so sleepy and Tomohisa's heartbeat was so soothing. Without realizing it he drifted off to sleep.

It was around 3am when Mikado and Momotaro came home. There had been a Mamirin screening with event only merchandise so Mikado just had to go. Momotaro tagged along since the venue was popular for its garden illuminations.

"-I just think it's unfair that they put limits on the blind pack goods," Mikado half sobbed as Momotaro opened the apartment door, "I just want-"

"Shh," Momotaro put his hand over Mikado's mouth, "look…"

Momotaro pointed to the couch where Tomohisa and Kazuna had fallen asleep. Kazuna's head resting on top of Tomohisa's chest and Tomohisa's arms still wrapped around him. Kazuna's eyes were noticeably puffy from crying. But they both looked at peace as they slept.

"It looks like they're on speaking terms again." Mikado chuckled.

Momotaro helped Mikado quietly take all his merchandise to their room before coming back and placing a blanket carefully over Kazuna and Tomohisa.

His hand gently stroked Kazuna's hair, "I hope you finally realised that you deserve your own love as well…"

Kazuna was awoken by the sunlight reflecting against his eyes. He yawned, snuggling into the warmth that surrounded him. He looked up and saw Tomohisa was still sleeping.

He carefully lifted his hand, brushing Tomohisa's hair to the side to get a better look at his face. The gold sunlight made his hair appear white instead of silver in some areas. Has his hair always been this soft?

Kazuna's cheeks grew faintly pink as his hand moved down and his thumb brushed against Tomohisa's cheek. He really did have a nice face.

"I think… I might not be scared if it's you I fall in love with…" He said quietly to himself. He was just barely able to move close enough and softly kiss the sleeping Tomohisa's lips.

Kazuna rested his head once more against Tomohisa's chest, the blush on his cheeks darkening.

If he was to fall in love with someone, he couldn't imagine the other person not being Tomohisa. His past relationships had never reached such an emotional point. Just a smile was enough to send his heart into a frenzy. One touch and nothing but Tomohisa flooded his thoughts.

If he could he wanted to stay in his arms forever. He felt secure, he felt warm and loved.

This feeling that this place next to Tomohisa was just for him and that Tomohisa wanted him by his side, it all made him feel so content. Like he was a puzzle that was being completed little by little with pieces of Tomohisa.

Is this what love is suppose to be?