Sink or Ed
Griffin had brought the group to a vein of iron ore and started mining it.
"Uh, is this your training thing?" Eddy asked.
"No. We just need iron for it." Griffin answered.
"Ed, Beep, help him out." Eddy ordered.
The three of them together mined a bunch of iron which Griffin gathered up into his arms.
"Hmm, are you aiming to use those as makeshift weights?" Double-D asked.
Griffin nodded, "This the first half of the Holy Nation strength training: carrying a heavy enough load to overburden yourself represents discipline."
"What's the second half?" Double-D asked, now jotting down notes.
Just then, Griffin grabbed Ed and hoisted him over his shoulder, "Whoa-ho! Ally-oop!" Ed cheered.
"The second half is carrying your companion, representing compassion. You need both to improve your strength." Griffin explained.
Double-D wrote that down, "Fascinating! We have something similar where we're from called loaded carries. They help develop core strength in a full body workout!"
"Doesn't look like they helped you much, flatskin." Kang pointed out.
Double-D seemed to shrink a little, he tugged on his hat to cover himself, "Um, well, no, I never tried it myself, I just know of it…"
Crumblejon rubbed his chin, "You know, my old master did something similar. He'd fill up a bag full of heavy crap and make me run deliveries all over the city. He did it more to be a prick, but dang was it effective."
Ruka shook her head, "The Shek just gives their recruits heavy weapons and tosses them into battle. The weapons get lighter the more you use them."
Eddy furrowed his brow, "That's it? All we have to do is carry heavy stuff? Ed could have thought of that!"
Griffin set Ed down, "Well, additionally, we could also try fasting to diminish our current strength to increase the training's effectiveness. That's highly inadvisable though. I knew one soldier who tried that, he passed out from hunger and exhaustion, and upon waking up thought our commander was Okran himself. He got forty lashes for that."
Shryke raised her hand, "I've heard a rumor that some armors could compress your strength, we wouldn't have to starve ourselves if we used those."
Griffin nodded, "Heavy armors could have that effect, mainly because they're heavier and harder to move in."
Double-D noted that down, "We will have to look for some when we get time. For now, let's just try using what we have."
…
To spare the details, the next day composed of the physically weakest members of the group - which happened to be Bard, Beep, Ruka, and Shryke - taking up this grueling training by carrying the Eds and Griffin around while mining for copper and iron. Crumblejon, Kang, and Rane meanwhile escorted the over encumbered group.
"I could get used to this!" Eddy told the others.
"It is rather…comfortable once you get used to it." Double-D agreed.
"I am a dumbbell, hahaha!" Ed laughed.
"Why did I have to be part of this?" Bard asked.
"Because I said so." Eddy told him.
"It would be beneficial for yourself and the rest of us if you got stronger, Bard." Griffin told him.
Bard grumbled to himself as the training went on.
…
"Time for a singsong to raise our spirits, methinks!" Bard announced:
"Oh! There once was a noble, handsome and bearded,
Who took a liking to shooting a spear he did!
The noble laughed with glee as his slaves did plea,
And he killed a hundred while laughter thundered!
But along came Tinfist and the laughs rang quiet,
The noble pissed his pants, and the slaves had a riot!
Just a swift blow with the fist and he fell to the floor,
And the bearded noble was handsome no more!"
"Wind." said Ruka.
"Uh…excuse me?" Bard asked.
"You're a sack of it."
"Guess that's my cue to keep quiet…"
"Ruka, whatever I'm paying you isn't enough." Eddy told her.
"No tact, you shek." Bard muttered under his breath.
"If I may ask, who's Tinfist?" Double-D asked, "I believe I heard that name before…"
Crumblejon shuddered a bit, "Tinfist…haven't heard that name in a while."
"Do you know him?" Double-D got out his notepad.
"He is well-known in the United Cities as The Metal Brute. Some sort of crazy skeleton who has been waging a war with the Trader's Guild and the United Cities for decades now."
"Wait, all by himself?" Eddy asked.
Crumblejon shrugged, "He leads a faction dubbed the Anti-Slavers who aim to put an end to slavery entirely throughout the continent. As you may have guessed, they haven't been too successful."
Griffin shook his head, "It's a futile dream. The Trader's Guild is too rich, and the United Cities have too many people who would sell their own mothers for coins."
"Ooh, maybe we could help him!" Ed offered.
"Ed, I appreciate your sense of justice, but we are too busy trying to just survive." Double-D told him.
As the group continued on, they noticed that a group of travelers were being attacked by a group of Hungry Bandits.
Ed rushed in with his sword, "EVIL DOERS! I AM ED!"
It wasn't much of a fight, truth be told, as the Edboys, the travelers, and the Trade Ninjas ganged up on the Hungry Bandits and they were quickly incapacitated. The travelers quietly thanked the Edboys, and went on their way.
While patching up the bandits, Double-D had an idea, "Say, couldn't we carry these folks around instead of each other? It would be easier than us taking turns carrying one another."
Shryke snickered, "Wow Double-D, I didn't think you'd even imagine us taking advantage of people we just knocked out."
Double-D sighed, "It was born out of necessity. If all of us are going to survive in this cruel, violent, unforgiving world, we are going to need to get stronger. Perhaps we can hold these people in custody for a while, maybe even feed them, it would keep them from attacking more people."
Nobody argued with that, especially the unconscious bandits.
…
"GIVE US YOUR CATS IF YOU WANNA LIVE!" cried out yet another Dust Boss.
Kang drew his blade, "Come on! Come at me, rotten bandits!"
The eight Dust Bandits were no match for the eleven Edboys. It is at this point I realize I've forgotten to mention that our group of adventurers have decided to name their growing faction "Edboys" after the three Eds. The group did have three females and a Beep, but they didn't have any issue with the name.
The battle didn't last long, with the Edboys being a lot stronger even with the added weights on most of them. Fighting while over encumbered added to the strength training.
The last Dust Bandit standing refused to drop even though he had all eleven attacking him and a crossbow bolt in his side.
"Just give up! It'll be easier!" Eddy told him.
"I'll punch that smirk off your face, ratbag!" the bandit yelled back.
Ed then smacked him down with his sword. "Sucks to be you guys!" he cheered.
As the Edboys patched themselves and the bandits up, Rane noticed something, "Hey Lord Eddy, this Dust Boss has a price on his head." she told him.
"Yeah? How much?" Eddy asked.
"About twenty-five hundred Cats. Not a whole lot, but worth a hike to Squin."
Eddy picked up the Dust Boss, "Off to Squin we go!"
"Wait Eddy!" Double-D called out, "Bard got knocked unconscious during the fight!"
Eddy shrugged, "Good, it'll be a quiet trip."
As the Edboys headed off to Squin, one of the Dust Bandits got up, "THEY'RE TAKING THE BOSS!" he yelled as he ran up to them with his fists.
Eddy just smacked him back down with his jitte, "Man, these guys are annoying..."
On the way to Squin, the Edboys ran across another group of Dust Bandits who also happened to have a Dust Boss with a bounty. This group, however, was far more durable, and they managed to knock down Beep and Griffin in the melee.
Then, the Slavers arrived again, and all Hell broke loose.
"COME AT ME, HAIRBRUSHERS!" Ed cried out as the Slavers whacked him in the head.
…
What happened next was a bit of a blur. Eddy was the only one to not get knocked out, his fight or flight kicking in and choosing the latter again. This time, he didn't run far and was able to free Ed while the slaves were shackling the others as well as the Dust Bandits.
Griffin was able to wake up, and in the panic grabbed Double-D and ran back to The Hub.
Ed grabbed Beep, and he and Eddy tried to break out as many of the Edboys as they could before being chased off by the Slavers.
During all this, Eddy made sure to deliver both bounties they came across to Squin's police station.
Soon enough, the Slavers started to walk off, and Ed decided to use the Dust Bandit's camp as a good spot to put his recovering comrades. The previous occupants now were either enslaved or dead, so they didn't mind the squatters.
Eddy arrived and slapped Ed on the back, "Great work Ed! This place seems safe enough for everyone to rest up!"
"Where'd you go, Eddy?" Ed asked.
"To cash in those bounties."
Ed nodded, then in a rare moment of awareness realized something, "...why didn't we just take everyone into town?"
Eddy sweated a bit and confessed, "Look Ed, I panicked and did what came naturally!"
Ed smiled, "Oh! Yeah, that makes sense!"
Eddy narrowed his eyes at the Slavers, "Yeah…those slavin' jerks grabbed some of our people, but I don't see Double-D anywhere!"
"Did he run away?" Ed asked.
"You know, I wouldn't blame him. We'll have to worry about him later, I don't see Griffy anywhere either so hopefully they're together. We gotta go after those slavers and get our squad back."
"But what about Beep?" Ed asked, "And Ruka? And Crumblejon? And the music man?"
"Good question, what about the music man? Look Ed, you stay here and guard them, I'll go after the others, and you can all catch up later!"
"Okie dokie, smokie!"
Eddy couldn't help but feel a wave of déjà vu and shook his head. He grabbed Ruka's sword which was left on the ground after the melee, "Well, at least this is better than the last time we came across the Slavers."
"I was hit on the head last time!" Ed reminded him.
"You're walking into an obvious joke there."
"Yep!"
…
Meanwhile, Griffin had managed to carry Double-D back to The Hub and get the both of them back to the Edboys main shack. Double-D was unconscious and wounded, so Griffin took Double-D's first aid pack and stitched him up.
"Damn, this was my fault. My training must have made them overconfident…" Griffin grumbled to himself, "I need to get back to- shit!" he realized he was also wounded. Griffin pondered his options for a moment and shut the door to the shack and got into the other bed himself, "No, not now, heal wounds, then go after them. They're likely to take them to Rebirth…"
…
The idea in Eddy's head was simple. Knock out the slavers using his ninja take down skills, grab his squad mates, and get them to the safety of the Thieves Tower. Of course, this was Eddy, so it did not go as planned. Upon hitting the first slaver who was carrying Shryke, the slaver did not in fact go down.
"What the hell is this?" the slaver asked, dropping Shryke.
"Uh…" Eddy grabbed Shryke and started running.
"HEY!"
Eddy bolted at high speed, the slavers shouting after him.
"There is no escape! You will die a slave!"
Eddy was much faster, he shook off the slaver, got into The Hub, and dropped Shryke off at the Shinobi Thieves Tower. It was around now she woke up, "Huh? What happened?" she asked.
"I'll explain later! Just get inside!" Eddy told her before running off.
Shryke was in no mood to argue, she could feel her legs busted again, and decided to climb the tower to find a bed, "Well, this feels familiar…"
Eddy headed back to the slave caravan to see Rane had woken up…and was trying to fight the slavers with her fists.
"GIVE ME BACK MY SABRE! I KNOW ONE OF YOU BASTARDS HAS IT!" Rane yelled.
The slavers outnumbered her, plus she was still recovering from the previous battle, and was knocked down quickly.
About as quickly as Eddy swooped in and carried her away to the safety of the tower before any of the slavers could realize what was happening.
Kang would be the trickiest to save, as at this point the slavers were wise to Eddy's movements. When Eddy sneaked up to strike the slaver carrying Kang, the slaver spotted him, "Why do you gotta be like this?"
Eddy didn't answer, he grabbed Kang and ran. This time, two of the slavers ran after him back into The Hub. Thinking fast, Eddy decided to hide in the Edboys' main shack, and upon barging in, he woke Double-D and Griffin up.
"Eddy? What happened?" Double-D asked.
Eddy turned to him, "There's no time to explain! We gotta-"
The door burst open, and the slavers raided the shack. Double-D and Griffin were on their feet and all three started brawling with the slavers. Eddy whacked them with his jitte while Griffin used his fists and Double-D pulled out a sabre he picked off one of the Dust Bandits earlier.
Eddy and Griffin managed to lure one outside and Eddy tossed Griffin Ruka's sword. Together, they managed to take down one of the slavers, but inside the shack Double-D was having trouble with the remaining slaver.
That's when Rane burst in, "YOU BASTARDS ARE GONNA GIVE IT BACK!" she shouted as she lunged at the slaver.
The slaver in turn focused on her and knocked her out by striking her already damaged stomach, though this was enough of a distraction for Double-D to knock the slaver out. Eddy and Griffin came in as Double-D was catching his breath.
"Eddy, what happened?" Double-D asked.
"Slavers, smart guy! They ambushed us!" Eddy told him.
"Where is everyone else?" Griffin asked, wounded from the fight.
"Ed is keeping watch over most of them and I just saved the rest…wait a minute…" Eddy went over the bodies of the unconscious slavers, "Looks like these slavers have some of our stuff!"
Double-D shook his head, "Not all of it though. That's unfortunate…well, at least none of us are enslaved…"
…
Meanwhile in Squin, Ed had somehow managed to get everyone in his charge to safety and healed up.
"...and that's how I saved you guys!" Ed ended his story.
"Wow! You're incredible, Ed!" Cheered Beep.
"Uh, wait, are you sure we were attacked by armadillo people? Is that even a thing?" Ruka asked.
Crumblejon shrugged, "I think he meant armored people, but I've seen weirder things like the fish people or the crab people."
"THE CRAB PEOPLE ARE REAL?" Bard cried out.
"Uh, they're more people who love crabs and dress up like them, but yeah." Crumblejon clarified.
"HOLY MOTHER OF OKRAN!"
…
Back in The Hub, Eddy was addressing the situation to the group, "Okay, so basically what happened was-"
That's when the slavers walked into town, yelling, "Get back here, slaves!"
This time, the Edboys had the home advantage, healed up, armed, and weren't quite happy with the slavers coming back for them. With the help of the Trade Ninjas, the slavers were quickly taken care of.
After which, Eddy and Double-D looked at each other, "...we really should find Ed."
Eddy nodded, "Good idea…"
"FOUND IT!" Rane screamed out, pulling out her longsword sabre from the pockets of one of the downed, bleeding slavers. She kissed it, and cradled it like a baby, "You've come back to mama! Yes, you have! YES, YOU HAVE!"
…
Meanwhile, Ed had led his group back to The Hub. They were attacked by more Dust Bandits, who quickly took down everyone but Ed and Crumblejon. The duo held their ground until the rest of the Edboys arrived, bringing the Dust Bandits down once again.
Soon after that, the Edboys dragged their wounded back to The Hub and rested for the night.
…
The morning after, the Edboys gathered around once again, going over their equipment once again. Everyone aside from Griffin got their weapons back, and now most of them had new armor courtesy of the slavers they had defeated. Double-D now had an armored hood, paid for by the equipment they sold off.
Eddy addressed the group, "Alright everyone! Thanks to me, we are alive, free, and a lot stronger than we were a few days ago!"
"Debatable." muttered Bard.
"However, we still have a way to go! This is only the start! Especially since those Dust Bandits are becoming too much of a nuisance!"
Double-D frowned, "Eddy, please don't tell me that you're thinking of picking a fight with those people."
Eddy shook his head, "This isn't a fight, Double-D, THIS IS WAR! And there's only one thing we need to do!" Eddy pulled out the wanted poster for the Dust King that one of the Trade Ninjas gave him the other day, "We take out their leader, collect his bounty, and send the rest of those dusters to…uh, dust!"
"Boo!" Ed booed the bad pun.
"Quiet, Ed!"