In this vision, Emeth Auctor saw a world in which sorcerers and princesses were on equal footing in terms of magical power.
...
Numb.
That was how Micah felt as he sat down in the Alwyn tavern to open Light Spinner's notes with Nell, three months later, and see if there were any clues on how to disconnect someone from the Black Garnet. Nell had translated the text into something less ostentatious than Light Spinner's flourishing vocabulary. As he read it, Micah zoned out.
If your misplaced attachment to her renders you unable to do your duties, you don't deserve to wear Bright Moon's crown.
"What's going on?" Nell asked. Then his gaze fixated on Shadow Weaver's felinetta, a huge beer in her hand. "Oh, criminy."
Carmen's face lit up, and she skipped over to the table, beer sloshing all over her pale dress. She wrinkled her nose. "Aw, bother. Hate wearin' wet clothes. Guess I'll take this puppy off an' throw her away."
Micah's face flushed. "You could get arrested for parading around naked."
Carmen burst out laughing. "You're right hilarious. I was jokin', yeah?"
"What are you doing here?" Micah asked pointedly. "You have some nerve, coming to Bright Moon after what happened in Dryl."
"An' you got some nerve, wearin' a shirt that makes you look like a Kryteyan," she said with a smiled, taking a vacant seat. Micah slid the notebook under the table, passing a look to Nell, who shrugged tiredly in his direction. "I like partyin' sometimes," Carmen chattered. "It's fun."
Nell tilted his head, and Micah shared his concern. After seeing how crazy Shadow Weaver was, he hadn't expected her servant to seem so...innocent. "They don't have parties in the Horde?" Nell asked.
"Mike thieved my lady's holo-pad couple'a years back," Carmen said around her drink. "Ain't sure why this is surprisin' t'ya."
"Don't call me Mike," Micah said.
"Cheer up, sandface. I'll call him Nellie instead. Fair trade?"
Nell sighed. "Carmen, why are you here?"
"Came to party. Already said that."
"That's what you told me last time, and then you murdered a man in cold blood."
Carmen's eyes widened, the catlike pupils narrowing. Micah frowned. Did it...bother her? Killing bothers most people. But often, there's a greater goal that outweighs the cost.
Why did he kill? Did he do it to protect? Or was he secretly...secretly...
"You look like your mama just died," Carmen broke in. "You awright? I'll buy ya some wine if you want."
"I'm fine," Micah said, a bit too forcefully to be convincing.
"He's had a rough past month," Nell said gently. "Carmen...do you know anything about your lady's past?"
Something twisted inside Micah; Carmen gave them an odd look. "Um...not really. All I know's she's not Tropicil."
"Really?" Nell asked with interest in his voice.
"I swear it. Cast a truth spell on me if ya want. But I'll tell her what'cha did."
Micah gritted his teeth. "Please," he stuttered. "I don't want to discuss this. I...I can't."
Carmen knit her brows together. "Does he need a shot'f alcohol?"
"I don't reckon so," Nell said. "He needs to be left alone. He's dealing with...a lot right now – no thanks to your lady. Or Mystacor," he added in a mutter.
"Mystacor?" the felinetta repeated, perking up.
"You know that place?"
"Who don't? Heard some'f my friends back at home talkin' about it. There's been a rumor Shads was cast out'f Mystacor since the coup."
Micah suddenly didn't want to be alone. "A coup? There's a way to –"
"Not anymore. My lady's extra vigilant, and we don't got no more defectors like Jibril." She spat the name like it was poison. "Wanna hear the story?"
"Um..." Micah passed a look to Nell, who shrugged. What could it hurt? They did need all the information they could get on the Fright Zone's weak points. "Sure."
Carmen crossed her legs "It ain't happy," she said in a soft voice. "When Shads and I joined the Horde, we were welcomed by a Force Captain named Jibril. He was a funny guy. Cool, smart, pretty handsome too. But what's most interestin'? He was an ex-Kryteyan."
Micah frowned. "But how? He would have been killed for leaving."
"Ain't so. Horde's given the Kryteya no authority to do that stuff, so he didn't die. He was my lady's best Force Captain for three years. But I'm thinkin' now he wasn't super sane. He was convinced Shads was a sorceress from Mystacor. One he fought in Illuras, long time ago?
"I dunno. But whoever the lady was, she wasn't super friendly to us at the time. I don't believe for a second it was Shads, but even if it was, I wouldn't care..." She trailed off, blushing. "Am I talkin' too much? Sorry – I'm a li'l weird..."
"It's okay," Micah said quickly. "Um...is your lady alright with you talking about this?"
"Prob'ly not," Carmen admitted, "but she never has to know, an' Nellie here's my friend, so –"
"That's stretching it a bit," Nell said, though he seemed fond of Carmen. "But go on."
Carmen nodded. "'Cause Jibril was convinced Shads was a traitor, he tried to get me to help him overthrow her. I was the only one who could, y'see – I was under her thumb, but I was also closest to her, besides Li'l Miss Adora. Anyway...one night, Jibbers came to me an' tried to get me on his side. Got in real close, wasn't too nice 'bout it. Course, I screamed, and my lady found us, yeah? She locked Jibs in prison an' scheduled him for Beast Island."
"The First Ones' toxic dump site?" Micah asked.
"That's the one," she said with a shrug. "The coup was only a plan, kinda. Lots'f other soldiers agreed with him an' tried to bust him out, but I stopped 'em. All by myself, too."
"Seriously?" Nell said. "That's impressive, Carmen. I mean...we may not be on your side, but still."
She grinned. "Thanks. But..." her expression darkened. "I..." she gripped the sides of her head, crushing her eyes shut. "I took food in for Jibbers' last meal. He asked me if I'd bring it to him, since he was right weak, yeah? So I did. An' he...I..."
Instead of finishing the sentence, she brought her hands upward and covered her breasts. The blood drained from Micah's face. Moons above. She smiles in spite of her pain.
Micah could do well to learn from her. "I'm sorry that happened to you."
Carmen shrugged. "Can't change it now. Never wanted to get married – now I sure as hell won't, if that's what it's like."
Micah didn't know how to respond. Had he known Carmen better, he might have offered a word of encouragement – not all such encounters had to be associated with humiliation. "Are you doing okay now?"
"As good as I can be. Popped out two kiddos later. Only one made it, but she's a real blessin', my li'l Catra." Her smile grew wider until Micah was certain it was forced. "But I had to get some help, y'see? It ain't easy, bein' violated an' losing a kit. I rested in a hospital afterward. Even got some real food, instead'f ration bars."
Nell knit his brows. "They don't serve real food in the Horde?"
"Nah. Just the bars. They're nutritious – full'f vitamins'n minerals, but tasteless. More efficient, that."
Micah tilted his head. There was a side to the felinetta he had never considered. Did Shadow Weaver treat her well? How had she reacted after Carmen got hurt? "You have a cool story," he admitted. "I'll give you that."
"Aw, well thank ya, Mike." She winked. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go get myself stoned. See y'all later!" With this, she stood and skipped away, looking nervous as she went to the bar to order another drink.
Micah sighed. "I don't know, Nell. Should we cast a truth spell on her?"
"I think she told us all she knows," Nell replied tiredly. "And she doesn't really know much about sorcery – I've tried to comb her for it."
As expected. Micah opened the notebook again. "Should we continue?"
"I guess. I'll keep an eye on her – I don't know what she's up to."
Just then, Carmen hissed from across the room. "I'm tellin' ya, I ain't here to cause trouble. Can't a cat get some good liquor without bein' hounded by sore losers?"
"You cheated in our last game," the Salinean across the room said. "I want my twelve moons back."
"Pity. I gave 'em to the king'f Bright Moon, over yonder. Pry 'em from him instead."
"You rat!" the Salinean bellowed in Carmen's face.
She grinned, standing there unfazed. How could she be so confident? "A rat? Where? Been dyin' to eat one'f those."
"GYRRRRAAHH!" The Salinean grabbed the felinetta's cape, which came off easily. From the back, Micah could see the dark red Horde symbol stamped across the white fabric.
Dead silence filled the area. "HORDE SOLDIER!" someone screamed.
And the dinner room erupted in chaos.
...
Someone threw a plate at the ceiling, and screaming ensued around Nell. Glass shattered, and alarms sounded, blaring, like liquid metal poured into his ears. People rushed to the bar, beating up the waiters and the tender, searching for food on the other side.
Micah gripped Nell's hand. He squeezed it back, squinting, praying nothing would fly at his face and break his glasses. Micah shouted over the chaos. "I'll contact the battalion nearby! Get somewhere safe!"
"With respect, I think the safest place is with you!" Nell returned, covering his glasses and cringing. His head was spinning. Such shouting...so much noise...
Shaking, he ducked under a table on the far side of the riot as Micah opened a communication channel. "Angella!" he roared. "Get your troops down here! There's trouble!"
A gasp ensued, but Nell couldn't hear what the angel queen was saying. Fear, panic, terror that he would be hit again. That he would be hurt, and unable to escape...
Micah's voice. "Nell. Come on, buddy!"
"No..." Nell moaned, clutching his head. "No, no, no..." He was crying. Moons, he was sobbing. The smells of sweat and blood and the sounds of screaming...
"We have to leave!" Micah cried.
You're a bloody coward, Nell thought. Please...just move...
He grabbed the table, and Micah helped him to his feet. But the rioters had turned their attention on them. The doctor, whom they could hold hostage. The king, whom they could rob. Sweaty hands gripped Nell, and he couldn't escape. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't scream for help. He was trapped.
He grew dizzy as the crowd's yelling faded to white noise. Something collided with the back of his head, and Nell's slow faint turned to blackness.
...
You and I know now Emeth Auctor's vision was likely referring to our plan to steal from the Heart of Etheria, but at the time, he believed he had found the answer – by rewriting the fundamentals of how sorcery works.
...
Shadow Weaver was at her wit's end.
Hordak had given her many texts written by the ruler of his home planet about military tactics, and Shadow Weaver – secretly, of course – went to libraries in disguise and read even more. And yet, she still couldn't figure out an opening to attack Illuras. The city was bordered directly by the Whispering Woods, and Shadow Weaver had tried numerous times to bring soldiers with her. Yet half of them had gone mad each time; she needed every man possible to attack the golden city. The Horde no longer had the element of surprise on their side.
Sighing roughly, Shadow Weaver unmasked for a precious moment and let her ebony hair droop down. She gazed pointlessly in the small mirror that resided in her office. Nothing about her ghastly appearance had changed. An ashen complexion, marred with violet stripes that resembled tears streaming down her cheeks. Sunken, jaundiced eyes.
And of course, the enormous split in her lip, where a chunk of flesh had been torn out of her mouth. Shadow Weaver's fangs were visible even when her mouth was closed.
Shadow Weaver shut her eyes. She was only thirty-nine – if she hadn't been such a fool, she would have had a good twenty or more years before she started to lose her beauty. But it was...gone...
Every time she unmasked, a wave of despair crashed over her. Perhaps she deserved her scarring, after all she had done...
Shadow Weaver rubbed her exhausted eyes, then willed herself to look up again. The Spell's cravings roared through her system; she couldn't draw in nearly as much magic from the stone in her mask unless it was pressed directly to her head.
But Shadow Weaver fought against the pathetic creature Micah created within her.
She forced herself to smile. Small wrinkles turned up near her eyes as she did, but the split in her lips stretched – crooked, disgusting. Mother always told her people looked more beautiful when they smiled. Shadow Weaver refused to contradict Lydia – her mother had been perfect. But Lydia hadn't known that her daughter would grow up to be a monster.
Micah, she thought again, though she was so exhausted she couldn't muster anger at the moment. Why was I not worth it to you? What could I have done to make you trust me, all those years ago?
Did I ever deserve your trust?
Tears fell down her cheeks, tracing the raised outlines of her scars, and Shadow Weaver was thankful for the locked, windowless room. She wanted to focus on her tactical planning, but all she could think of was the boy from Tropicilas. The boy who had taught her how to love again.
She had to protect him from herself. Shadow Weaver couldn't let him suffer from his mistakes. Though she wanted to fade, she couldn't.
So Shadow Weaver wiped her tears and donned her mask again. The rush of magic reentering her system was a welcome distraction as she turned back to her tactics. But as she deigned to do so, an invisible thread pulled her from her seat. She suddenly felt as though there may be some hope for her yet.
Dare she hope?
Yes. I do. Nell's gray-blue eyes flashed through her mind. He was a brilliant man, and the kindest person she'd ever met. Three years ago, she had held knives to the throat of the man she'd once loved. He'd gazed up at her in horror. But perhaps, if she could just get his sympathy...
There was one more chance to save herself. One way to undo the Spell – by pursuing the man her body ached for even now, however foolish it may be. So she stepped up to the cauldron and placed her finger in the enchanted water, taking a deep breath.
"Show me," she said, imagining Nell's face.
...
Nell woke up, his head throbbing. His body ached with spasms, and his eyes were puffy and swollen. He couldn't see anything, but he was laying on something soft. Groaning, he felt around him, the blurriness in his eyes an annoyance.
"You're awake," Micah's relieved voice called. "Oh, Nell – I'm so happy. You're not injured, but I thought you'd never come to!"
"How long has it been?"
"Um...twenty hours."
Nell's mouth dropped open. "I wasn't unconscious all that time, was I?"
"I don't know. You may have been asleep. Don't you usually do that during these episodes?"
He had a point. Sighing, Nell shuffled around. "Do you think Carmen was trying to incite the riot?"
"I don't think so," Micah said. "I think she just ended up in a bad situation. And she was right – the twelve moons are in my pocket. Not sure how they got there."
"Who knows? It's Carmen. Is she alright?"
"I don't know. She managed to escape in the ruckus."
Nell sighed. Exhaustion overwhelmed him, and he shivered in the bed, grabbing his glasses. "So...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have fainted – I reckon I just weighed you down."
Micah sighed. "I know the feeling. But don't get upset – if it's some sort of medical condition...you'll find a cure for it. But if you had a hard time, like Carmen did –" He stopped. "You look really uncomfortable."
Nell tensed up. Crushing his eyes shut, he shook his head. "I can't talk about it. Not yet..."
A pause. Then his friend spoke. "I understand," he said. "Some people aren't used to sharing their feelings. They were hurt in the past, have a hard time opening up."
He gave Micah a peculiar look. "Who are you talking about?"
"Her. Light Spinner." Micah looked toward the window. "You're both...sad. But still strong, despite it all. I think that even though your cultures don't get along, you would have made good friends." His expression grew more somber. "Maybe something more."
How much you don't understand. Nell looked at the ceiling. "If it makes you feel better, I'm honored. I know you loved her, Micah. And I'm glad to be your friend."
"Thanks, buddy." Micah frowned. "If only I could be worthy of the title..."
...
Shadow Weaver watched the men from the window. Nell hadn't sustained major injuries, but she wished now that she hadn't sent Carmen to roam free here.
The riots ensued without her servant's intention. But Shadow Weaver had a bigger goal in mind – undermining the legitimacy of Micah's rule would hasten recruitment to the Horde, not to mention possibly divide the provinces of Bright Moon. Seeing as how every other kingdom save Mystacor followed Queen Angella and King Micah's council, fracturing the Meyan kingdom would be key to overthrowing their alliance.
Shadow Weaver regretted that their goal involved injuring people. But she'd stopped being a savior long ago.
"I just don't know what I'm going to do," Micah said softly from inside. "She's due to arrive any moment now."
Nell sighed, laying amidst his bedsheets. "If I'm not back when she comes, my apprentices can handle it. They've delivered before."
"No offense, but I don't trust them as much as I do you." Shadow Weaver's curiosity was piqued.
"Have you decided on a name?" Nell asked him.
"Glimmer," Micah replied. With a smile, he gazed away from Nell. "Our little glint of light."
Shadow Weaver's mouth dropped open. Micah...he's going to be a father! How had she been so blind as to miss this, so cooped-up in the Fright Zone that she didn't know her apprentice was going to have a daughter –
Shadow Weaver bit her lip. She couldn't afford to care anymore. She was not the weakling from Mystacor, but a strong, brutal Horde commander. Light Spinner may have loved Micah; that was well and good. Shadow Weaver did not.
Still, she could not dissipate the immense happiness in her stomach. He would know the love and joy of parenthood. That was something they had in common.
But Shadow Weaver had a job to do. So she backed away from the window, traveling home.
...
Did you know...
- Yes, Nell still struggles with having breakdowns over violent situations. The purpose of Chapter 29 was to show that he is willing to stand up and do what's right, but not necessarily able. These show a unique caveat to the "be willing to stand up and fight like a man" virtue.
- I tried to strike a balance between having Carmen's trauma affect her today while still being relatively vague about the details. I hope it's adequate for anyone who reads this.
- I was very disappointed when Shadow Weaver and Glimmer had almost no emotionally deep interactions in Season 4. I personally can't see a world where she didn't care for Micah's daughter at least a little.
Tell me what you think...
- What might be Shadow Weaver's opening to attack Illuras?
- How does Carmen's trauma impact her today?