Long time no see! So sorry it's taken me so long to get chapters out, but life has been a rollercoaster lately.
We are almost to the end of The Rest of My Life so I'll try my absolute best to put out the final chapters soon x
Jasper held Bella's hand as he drove them home, his thumb drawing slow circles along the back of her hand while she stared out the window, seemingly lost in thought. Every now and then he'd steal glances her way, spotting her reflection on the glass as she watched the trees whirl past them.
He gave her hand a squeeze where he felt a nervous wave wash over him before Bella returned the gesture with a squeeze of her own. She turned her attention away from the window to give him a small smile, though he could sense an unspoken worry that most likely had to do with Charlie's well-being.
He asked, "Do you want to go back? We can—"
"No, I want to go with you." She cut him off before he could go on. Turning to face him with a slight blush she said, "Be with you I mean. I'm just..."
"Worried about Charlie." Jasper finished for her.
Bella ran a hand through her hair, "Do you think it's over? Everything I mean."
Jasper held her gaze for a second before focusing back on the road, "I hope it is. Alice will keep an eye on the Volturi just in case, but unless she says anything different I want to believe Aro won't try to stir up trouble anytime soon," Bella smiled when he brought their hands up to place a kiss on the back of her hand, "For now, let's try to make the most of the time we have."
Reassured by his words, she nodded as they made it to the Cullens home. The lights were on inside but Jasper knew there wasn't anyone waiting for their arrival, not with his siblings going off to hunt for the next few days.
Without worrying about Edward showing up again or the threat of Victoria, they could finally go back to the way things were.
Jasper led Bella into the house, walking hand in hand, all the way to his bedroom. He noticed Bella's clothes were neatly folded on the bed. Esme must have left them for her before coming to watch over Charlie.
"Are you hungry?" He asked her.
"I think I'll just take a hot shower if that's okay. With everything that's happened and worrying about Charlie needing me, I'd like to take a long one this time."
"Of course. Take all the time you need."
She smiled softly, turning to head toward the bathroom when Jasper reached for her hand. Unable to help himself from touching her, needing to touch her. She looked over inquisitively, and Jasper grinned.
He gave her hand a tug until she came willingly with a soft laugh. He cupped her cheeks in his hands and kissed her softly. Once, then twice. Then he couldn't help himself when he licked her bottom lip. Bella sighed, parting her lips for him. Granting a silent permission for him to enter. They both shifted closer to each other, their soft breaths and needy sounds filling the room as they drowned in the kiss.
What he intended to keep innocent between them quickly turned into more as he deepened the kiss further when Bella tugged on the front of his shirt. It wasn't until Bella's knees buckled that he pulled away, holding her against his chest before she sank to the floor.
Jasper ran his thumb over the warm blush across her cheeks, "Maybe don't take too long."
Bella smiled as she shook her head before placing a chaste kiss on his lips, pushing him away as if to keep them both from giving into what they truly desired. Jasper chuckled as he felt her frustration and lust for him, which only mirrored his own feelings. Biting her bottom lip, she gathered her clothes before disappearing into the bathroom. The sound of the shower turning on reached his ears as he turned to lay down on his bed for a bit, even if it was purely out of habit seeing as he felt no real need to rest.
He stared up at the ceiling until his ears couldn't help but pick up on the sound of her clothes sliding off her skin, the fabric softly hitting the floor. Her bare feet padding across the tiles to get into the shower. He took in a deep breath of restraint. After a heart beat, he headed downstairs before his need for her got the best of him and he decided to join her instead.
It wasn't as if they hadn't seen each other naked or taken a shower together before.
After what Victoria had done to her, he'd wanted to take care of Bella the way she deserved. He'd wanted to comfort her and hold her more than anything. Of course he couldn't deny he'd felt desire when he saw her standing before him naked and vulnerable. But she'd been injured and was clearly frightened, still trembling from the terror she'd been put through thanks to the nomad and Edward.
All he'd wanted in that moment was to know that she would be alright. Nothing more and nothing less.
Now...
In an attempt to give Bella privacy, Jasper went downstairs to get her something to drink.
She hadn't wanted dinner, but he felt useless not doing something for her right now. Wanting to take care of her. Make her happy in any way that he could. So as he got the water boiling in the kettle over the stove, Jasper stared down at the flames that seemed to dance beneath the metal. Much like the thoughts that played in his mind. The memories of holding Bella in her bed. The images of her writhing against him, letting him pleasure her in ways no one else ever would, moaning his name like a secret.
For so long—before he met her—Jasper was this monster carved out of blood and cruelty by Maria. He used to think feeling anything at all, unless it was fear and hatred from the newborns around him, would be impossible. Then when Alice came along he felt mostly apprehensive of her, and when the Cullens entered his life he was able to manage other emotions.
There was happiness around him in the many ways the Cullens knew how to feel the emotion. For Edward, Esme, and Rosalie; happiness was often muddled by the sadness of their past lives that got ripped away from them for one reason or another. Jasper eventually allowed himself to feel genuine affection towards the others those first few years he spent around them.
Eventually he allowed himself to feel peace, even if those moments were rare when he wasn't haunted by his ghosts.
But love? The kind that he felt toward Bella? It hadn't existed in his world.
How was it that one woman could make him feel so much? Want so much. And it's somehow completely taken over his entire existence. She managed to rule his every breath and thought from the moment he met her.
When the water started to boil on the kettle, he poured it into one of the mugs he knew Bella liked to use when she was here. He stared at the water as it slowly changed color with the tea bag floating around the top.
He hadn't thought about it when Victoria had taken her—didn't allow himself to think it until now—but imagining living in a world without Bella. The thought of losing her someday...
It made him sick. It made him want to burn the world down. It made him consider going to the Volturi if it ever happened—
Warm hands wrapped around his waist, interrupting the dark spiral of thoughts that went through his mind. The scent of lavender and strawberries hitting him like a balm.
Jasper sighed contentedly as he closed his eyes. Relishing in Bella's gentle touch as her hands ran up his chest. Her fingers drawing small patterns on the center of his chest. He placed his hand over hers, holding her to him. As if to prevent her from breaking the connection between them. Something he desperately needed.
When he felt her worry and love swirl around him, he smiled before bringing one of her hands up to his lips and placing a kiss on her palm.
"That was quick." He murmured against her wrist before he placed a kiss there.
Bella rubbed her cheek against his back, pressing herself closer against him, "You told me to not take too long, remember? But you seem...troubled now. Want to tell me what's on your mind?"
He remembered saying similar words to her the day Edward was going to return. Imploring her to tell him anything that could warrant getting her away from him. But she did nothing of the sort. Holding strong like always. Even before that, he always saw the way she constantly tried to protect others from the pain she felt.
Always brave.
Jasper turned in her arms and saw the way the wet strands of her hair clung to her neck and shoulder. He noticed she was wearing a thin nightgown he hadn't seen before. The color was a pale shade of purple and it stuck to her in places where she must not have dried off completely. Hugging every curve of her body.
He wrapped her up in an embrace, bending down until his hands cupped the backs of her thighs and hoisting her up onto the counter. He grinned when she spread her legs to make room for him, her ankles pulling him closer. As if even she didn't want him to pull away.
As if he ever would.
"The truth?" He asked.
She nodded.
"I was thinking about how I could have lost you..." he finally admitted out loud, a fear he couldn't hide from anymore. He brushed a strand of hair away from her temple. "So much could have gone wrong, would have gone wrong if it weren't for the shifters getting to Victoria."
"But it didn't." She said with a certainty that surprised him.
"Thank god it didn't," he admitted hoarsely, "otherwise I wouldn't have been able to live without you. You know that, don't you?"
Bella nodded, her eyes softening as she took him in, all of his battered heart laid out before her.
"I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere."
"You're not going anywhere," he repeated, this time a possessive wave of need swept over him and it made Bella gasp softly as he projected it onto her. His hands cupped her face, pulling her forward but this time he waited.
Always wanting her to want the same things he did before taking. Giving her the choice to act on what she wanted.
When Bella leaned forward, he gently brushed his lips against hers. Short pecks that led to languid caresses that allowed him to savor the taste of her.
Bella's hands wrapped around his shoulders to steady herself as she relinquished all control to him.
Jasper's hands gripped her thighs, pulling her against him until their hips met where she could feel him hard against her. When she gasped at the contact, the self control in Jasper snapped at the same time hers did.
Their slow kiss turned into a searing, all consuming need as their tongues savored each other and their bodies were pushed impossibly closer. Jasper's hands ran up her waist and palmed her breasts, making him groan when he realized she wasn't wearing a bra.
"Fuck, Bella."
Bella's fingers tugged at his hair hard enough to make him groan against her lips.
More. He needed more.
He needed—
"I want you," Bella breathed when she finally broke away for air. Her eyes were hooded as she stared up at him, "Jasper, I want you. Now. I don't want to wait anymore."
The world slowed to a halt. Everything melting away as he registered those words. The words he'd longed to hear for far longer than he wanted to admit.
He knew she meant it. There wasn't an ounce of doubt coming from her. No fear. Only love, and a craving to share all of herself with him.
With a nod he pulled her into his arms and slowly made his way into the hall. He stole kisses from her as they made their way upstairs, smiling against her lips when she breathed his name full of need.
Knowing there would only ever be this between them for many years to come, until he was nothing but ash one day.
But not today, so long as she was his.