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The following is a fan-based

FICTION

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Chapter 28: Old Rock's Warning

Zhongli had taken great care to be able to join Hu Tao's funeral parlor. The test itself had been simple enough for him due to his centuries worth of knowledge he was quick to muster to get himself a comfy mortal job.

He knew it was technically cheating, but he was old, on his way to retirement, and kind of done with that sort of divine mindset - in terms the common youth may be able to understand it best: he was too old for this shit. The parlor itself was ideal as a 'last job' before truly vanishing. No one would suspect the Geo Archon, Morax himself, would find fake his death and work at a place like this. The high and mighty Rex Lapis, the oldest god still alive in Teyvat, was now working as a consultant and enjoying his free time watching plays and drinking wine.

This? This was the purest way to describe a 'dumb but feasible plan'. He knew that the adepti would investigate. He knew the mortals would too, but with the upcoming crisis causing disruptions to said investigations, he was willing to gamble his odds he was going to pass unnoticed and truly 'die' as a divine being.

However, Zhongli knew, plans tended to have unknown factors somewhat disrupting those. Such as four individuals stumbling in the parlor and-

"My, my, if it isn't my old friend, Zhongli. How are you, you old soul?"

Sampo Koski was NOT the kind of mortal he sought to ever be close to. Yet, it was clear fate was keen to starve him of peace. Either that or, from the little hidden irritation exuding from the young man's smile, he was keen to look for him about reasons that may be causing his grievance. For it to be reasonable grief or not, he oculdn't tell on the spot but...

"Mr. Koski, it's been a few years since you graced Liyue with your presence."

"You know Zhongli?" Hu Tao asked, sounding quite familiar with Sampo... which really made Zhongli somewhat more nervous. "I thought that he was quite a recent visitor of the harbor, sticking mostly to living away from major settlements."

"Oh, he is. But see, Mr. Zhongli here is someone I met a while ago. You can say he has given me great advice and lessons, such as the time I learned that, sometimes, rules are meant to be broken to save friends."

"That does sound like a tale," The young director hummed, glancing curiously at a shriveling Zhongli. "Care to add more details?"

"I believe what Mr. Koski is bringing up is an old tale of two fools wandering forbidden lands-"

"To find a flower said to be the only cure for a poison their friend was struck with," Sampo interjected, his voice almost too firm for it to be a 'simple joke'. "See, the funny twist is that, facing a most stubborn guardian, the two 'fools' ends up banished by the land for being too awesome."

"A very peculiar way to summarize this tale. I assume you have found the correct book about it," Zhongli argued, eyes narrowing as he found this to be a rather aggressive way to present his case.

That being said, he understood what Sampo was trying to accomplish here, at least to an extent. When Sampo first came up to the attention of the Adepti, Cloud Retainer had been fairly furious about what occurred to her second apprentice. Sure enough, Zhongli couldn't fault her, especially when, compared to Ganyu, Shenhe was a mortal and someone that was best suited to be seen as a 'young daughter' to the unscrupolous avian adeptus. Thus, when the young woman presented her case, Zhongli had tried to get a trial to happen and understand what was the truth.

Because, as much as he understood Cloud Retainer's righteous anger, he could tell that something was missing about Shenhe's own account of the matter - why the two individuals responsible for the 'assault' had been there and given to fight. In fact, the only reason he wanted just Sampo to be put on trial was due to the very reason he was nervous to be around him - the power he had went beyond the common Archon. He couldn't sense any in him right in that moment, but he knew, he truly knew, that he could potentially be equal to the Heavenly Principle herself.

To make matters worse, the whole case went through in absentia. Sampo was considered guilty, the Adepti were instructed to track him down and alert the rest in the case of his return. For him to be there, so openly, it makes sense that he may have already been noticed by Ganyu. Which means he was either aware he was on a tiny frame of time to do something about it, which may explains his current visit, or maybe he was not going to act upon it and let the expected chaotic fiasco unfold as it could.

"You can say that I had been fairly busy, had to get a lot of affairs sorted out in Inazuma between stopping a civil war, bullying the Archon there, and pretty much getting a grip over my amazing self. That being said, a word of warning, I understand some of your friends may not be pleased to know I am back, and I strongly advise they are warned to not get too hasty with me. Okay?"

So openly, and right in front of so many witnesses. Hu Tao was outright confused, while the three little companions that were with him were either distracted by the coffins, or just not paying attention to this 'boring' conversation. To Zhongli, however, the message was clear and he offered a simple nod.

"I will make sure they are warned that their hard feelings may be unwarranted."

"Also, another thing, and I think Hu Tao can back me up with this... I have been told you have been getting cozy with a leading figure in the Fatui, I would like for you to not make any deals with them."

...That was surprising, but Zhongli was not as appeasing as before.

"Mr. Childe and I have a cordial relationship, and I doubt that he is in any position to-"

"I am aware the Fatui are going to cause big trouble for Liyue. I doubt the Millelith will see you as an associate due to the fact you are a pacifist, Mr. Zhongli, but see, I am going to tell you this as a friend," Sampo hummed, his tone of speech changing as he looked angrier. "If I so find out that you have somehow facilitated their plans, I may have to take steps against you."

...How frustrating.

"So, what's this all about?" Hu Tao finally asked. "I get it that the Fatui are bad folks but... you sound awfully serious here, Sampo."

"Only putting setting up some brackets since, and this is super-secret, I think they are planning to destroy the harbor."

...

"Oh, that's... does Ningguang know?"

"The Qixing had been warned that a plot may be at stage and are taking steps ot ready the harbor and beyond."

Zhongli bit down a sigh at that. He knew that this put his plan in a bit of a twist, but he also knew he couldn't exert himself in a way that may make his disguise fail in hiding him away from those he was trying to avoid. Sampo had played his cards well, rushing right at him and going for the jugular. It wasn't a 'kill' so to speak, but it felt like he was quite 'dying' in the way he could move around now. He couldn't react accordingly, he couldn't make the impudent human remember he wasn't a frail old man. And this...

This made Zhongli feel very old so suddenly.

Sampo decided to then speak with Hu Tao and leave Zhongli to his thoughts. He had 'much' to do anyway, and he found the paperwork distracting enough to weave a way out of this dreadful circumstance. He could imagine Childe had been warned before he was, which may trigger an upcoming meeting with the harbinger. What was to be said? What deals had to be rescinded or changed?

Indeed, Zhongli had much to his plate...

It almost felt like, the more he struggled to be retired, the more burdened by chores he was.

AN

Next time, as promised, Sampo obtains two new children. A Dendro Bomber and a Cryo Zombie!