Word Count: 4091
Summary: "Imagine your OTP playing laser tag, and one character pushes the other to the corner, kisses them, and then shoots them and walks away" with the entire group playing laser tag and then more games.
Disclaimer: I don't own The Big Bang Theory or the characters.
The anticipation started building as the gang walked from their cars to the laser tag arena, neon signs casting colorful glows over their faces. Penny and Leonard walked hand-in-hand at the front of the group, Leonard holding their joined hands up and firing mock blaster noises.
"Pew pew! Gotcha!" Leonard said, pretending to shoot Penny.
"Nice try, soldier," Penny teased, squeezing his hand. "But I'm gonna win. You might as well surrender now."
"Yeah, Leonard," Howard chimed in from behind them. "You're married to her. Surrendering is practically in the vows."
"I'll have you know," Leonard replied with a smirk, "I am a formidable laser tag player."
"Sweetie," Penny said, grinning, "I love you, but I've seen you fold under Nerf dart pressure." Leonard just rolls his eyes, knowing very well they both spent too much time – and money – playing laser tag. And that the only reason he had folded with the Nerf was because it nearly hit him in the eye if he hadn't been wearing his glasses.
The group burst into laughter as Leonard turned to Sheldon. "Sheldon, you're with me. We're going to win this thing."
"Of course we are," Sheldon said confidently. "I have no intention of losing. And don't forget, I'm excellent at strategy."
"Except when it's Mario Kart," Raj muttered under his breath, earning a snort from Howard.
"Enough trash talk," Penny declared as they entered the building. "Let's see who's actually got game."
The group lined up at the equipment counter, donning their vests and grabbing their blasters. Penny leaned over to Bernadette.
"Hey, don't let Howard tag you too much," she said with a wink. "His ego doesn't need the boost."
Bernadette laughed. "Don't worry. I'm going for the headshot. Figuratively, of course," she added, glancing at the employee handing out gear.
Nearby, Denise adjusted her vest and gave Stuart a supportive pat on the back. "Don't worry, Stu. Just keep moving. You'll be fine."
"Easy for you to say," Stuart replied nervously. "You're good at this. I'm not exactly battlefield material."
"What exactly do you think I do in my spare time? The only battlefield I've ever been at is in video games." He still didn't look convinced, so she placed her hand on his shoulder. "You're better than you think," Denise encouraged, smiling. "Just follow my lead."
Leonard, meanwhile, was adjusting Sheldon's vest straps.
"Sheldon, hold still," Leonard said. "It needs to be tight so it doesn't fall off while you're playing."
"Leonard," Sheldon replied with a huff, "if I can keep my bowtie straight through a three-hour lecture, I think I can manage a vest."
Penny caught Leonard's eye from across the room and grinned. "Still adorable, sweetie."
Leonard rolled his eyes but couldn't help smiling back.
The group gathered at the entrance of the laser tag arena, their excitement palpable. The low hum of arcade games and the distant sound of laser tag guns firing set the tone for their upcoming battle.
"Alright, we need to pick teams," Leonard said, clapping his hands together.
"Can we just do it randomly?" Amy suggested, adjusting her glasses.
"Random selection?" Penny raised an eyebrow. "Where's the fun in that? Picking teams is half the excitement!"
"I agree with Penny," Sheldon chimed in, adjusting his own glasses. "Random selection is for experiments, not for games with strategic importance. The choice of team members is crucial for victory. We must consider each member's skill set and how it aligns with the team's overall goal of victory."
"Exactly," Penny said with a sly smile. "Which is why Leonard and I are the obvious captains. We've got the most laser tag experience."
Leonard gave her a playful look. "Says the woman who accidentally got stuck in the maze last time we played."
"Don't remind me," Penny said, rolling her eyes. "That was a freak accident!"
"Alright then." Howard said. "Let's see which Hofstadter is the true laser tag champion." Bernadette glared at her husband, as if to say don't provoke them but Howard just grinned, excited for the competition.
Penny raised an eyebrow and jabbed a thumb at herself. "Oh, you know it's me. Leonard's the only one who can't see it."
Leonard chuckled. "We'll see about that, Penny. I've got the secret weapon of strategic thinking on my side."
Sheldon gave him a disapproving look. "That's just a fancy way of saying I overthink everything."
Leonard ignored him and pointed at Penny. "Go ahead, pick first."
Penny grinned and looked around the group, her gaze landing on Amy. "I'll take Amy. We make an unstoppable team."
Amy smiled. "I'll do my best, bestie. I've been practicing my stealth techniques."
"Great," Penny said with a wink. "Let's see how well those skills work against Sheldon's ego."
"I'll take Sheldon." Leonard said.
"Of course," Sheldon replied, stepping forward. "Who else would you choose? I'm the mastermind behind any victory."
Penny shook her head. "You've got an ego, Sheldon, I'll give you that."
Leonard laughed. "Hey, if we're gonna win, we need Sheldon's strategic brilliance."
"Exactly," Sheldon said, nodding to himself. "Thank you for recognizing my unparalleled intellect."
Penny sighed dramatically and turned to the remaining players. "Okay, I'll take Bernadette. She's small but mighty."
"Small but mighty, huh?" Bernadette said with a grin. "I'll take that."
Leonard looked around and made his pick. "I'll take Raj."
Raj grinned. "Laser tag ninja mode, activated."
"Love the enthusiasm," Leonard said with a smile. "Let's make sure we actually hit something this time, alright?"
"I'll take Stuart," Penny said, eyeing the last two remaining players.
Stuart blinked, slightly startled. "Me? Really?"
"Yep," Penny said, grinning. "You're a wild card. You'll be great."
Stuart shrugged and smiled. "I'll do my best."
"Alright," Leonard said, looking at the last two. "That leaves Denise with us."
Denise grinned, stepping forward. "I'm ready to bring the heat!"
"Looks like I'm with you guys," Anu said, smiling at Penny's team. "Bring it on."
"Let's do this," Penny said, clapping her hands together. "We're gonna crush you, Leonard."
"Not a chance," Leonard shot back. "You're going down."
As the teams stood facing each other, the energy was electric, the playful rivalry already building between the Hofstadters.
"Alright, team," Leonard said, addressing his side. "Let's keep our cool, use our brains, and most importantly—don't let Penny's team outsmart us."
Sheldon raised an eyebrow. "Outsmart us? My dear Leonard, you need not worry. The entire team knows that victory is a matter of intellect. And I, of course, am the most intelligent among us."
Raj chuckled and gave Leonard a thumbs-up. "Don't worry, Leonard. We've got this."
Penny turned to her team. "Alright, everyone. Listen up. We've got brains, agility, and sheer determination. Let's show Leonard and his team just how it's done."
"Let's get 'em!" Bernadette cheered, pumping a fist into the air.
As they waited for the game to start, the teams gathered in their respective corners for a bit of pre-game smack talk. Penny's confident grin was on full display as she leaned against a wall, spinning her blaster like a gunslinger.
"You sure you want to do this, Hofstadter?" she called across the room. "I'd hate for you to go home with bruised pride."
Leonard chuckled, already stepping into his role as team leader. "Careful, Hofstadter. The last time you underestimated me, you ended up eating my dust in Mario Kart."
"That was once!" she shot back.
"And yet," Leonard said, smirking, "it was glorious."
Howard laughed from the sidelines. "This is great. It's like watching a rom-com and an action movie rolled into one."
"Sheldon," Leonard said, ignoring Howard, "stick to the plan. Cover me while I take out Penny."
"I'll do no such thing!" Sheldon replied indignantly. "If I'm covering you, who's covering me? I refuse to be a sitting duck."
"Relax, Sheldon," Raj said, patting him on the shoulder. "You'll be more like a standing duck. You're too tall to sit anyway."
"This is going to be epic!" Penny declared, her voice bubbling with excitement as she secured the velcro straps of her laser tag vest. She slung the blaster over her shoulder and flashed a confident grin at her team.
Amy, Bernadette, Stuart, and Anu stood nearby, each displaying varying levels of readiness—or nerves in Stuart's case.
"I feel like I've already been tagged just standing here," Stuart muttered, holding his blaster loosely as if it were a live grenade.
"Don't worry, Stuart," Penny said, giving him a playful slap on the back. "Just stick with me. We'll turn you into a laser tag champ in no time."
Across the prep area, Leonard's team huddled together: Leonard, Sheldon, Howard, Raj, and Denise. Leonard was trying to organize a strategy while Sheldon was—predictably—overcomplicating things.
"Now, if we divide the arena into quadrants," Sheldon began, gesturing dramatically, "and deploy our resources with the precision of the Prussian military—"
"Sheldon, it's a game," Leonard interrupted. "We don't need Prussians. We need teamwork. Everyone stick together, take cover, and aim carefully."
Howard snickered. "What are we supposed to do if Sheldon goes rogue? He's got friendly fire written all over him."
"I do not!" Sheldon protested.
The three guys stared at him for a moment, before Howard just slowly says "Department paintballs games." And Sheldon is about to remark, but the glare his friends send him is enough to – at least this once – have him stop.
Penny smirked from across the room, leaning toward Amy and Bernadette. "Look at them. Leonard's trying so hard to keep the team together. It's adorable. Almost makes me feel bad about how hard we're going to crush them."
Leonard caught her eye and smiled back, lifting his blaster in a mock salute.
"Trash talk now," Leonard called over, "but don't cry when I outscore you."
Penny laughed. "Bring it on, Hofstadter!"
The group stepped into the arena, greeted by a maze of walls, ramps, and glowing obstacles, all bathed in shifting neon lights. The hum of fog machines filled the air, and the rhythmic thump of electronic music pulsed in the background.
The two teams split up, each retreating into their respective corners to regroup. Penny crouched behind a low wall, her team gathered around her.
"Okay, here's the plan," she said, her voice low but confident. "We take the high ground. Bernie, you guard the ramp. Amy, watch our backs. Stuart and Anu, you're with me. Let's find a good vantage point and pick them off one by one."
"You say that like we're not going to be the ones getting picked off," Stuart mumbled.
Meanwhile, Leonard's team was fanning out cautiously.
"Raj, you take the left flank," Leonard directed, pointing toward a ramp. "Denise, you cover the center. Sheldon, please don't wander off."
"I have no intention of wandering," Sheldon replied indignantly. "I intend to dominate. The strategic advantage lies in finding the perfect perch and raining laser fire upon our enemies."
"Yeah, because nothing says teamwork like hiding," Howard quipped.
Chaos erupted almost immediately.
Penny's team secured the high ground, raining down shots on Leonard's team below. Stuart, surprisingly, managed to take out Raj early in the game, earning himself a rare moment of glory.
"Did I get him?" Stuart asks in disbelief, before grinning ear to ear. "Did you see that? I can't believe I did it!"
"Good work, Stuart," Penny said, peeking out from cover. "Now keep your head down before someone—"
A loud beep sounded from Stuart's vest as Denise emerged from the fog, grinning triumphantly.
"—tags you," Penny finished, shaking her head.
Denise had quickly proven herself to be a formidable opponent. Her gamer instincts showed as she moved through the maze with efficiency, taking out Amy and Stuart in quick succession.
Howard, meanwhile, was locked in a heated battle with Bernadette.
"You're going down, Bernie!" Howard called, darting behind a glowing pillar.
"In your dreams, Howie!" Bernadette retorted, her blaster lighting up as she tagged his vest.
Howard's vest flashed red, signaling he was out, and he threw his hands up in mock surrender.
"Okay, okay," he said, heading to the respawn zone. "But you're sleeping on the couch tonight!"
"As if!" She screamed back, already looking around her next victim, a laugh coming out of her as she turned around to look at her husband, both grinning.
Penny had been scanning the battlefield from her vantage point when she spotted Leonard crouched near a barrier on the main floor, looking adorably focused as he adjusted his blaster.
Her lips curled into a mischievous grin. "Amy, cover me. I'm going in."
Amy blinked. "What are you—"
"Just trust me!" Penny whispered before sliding down a nearby ramp, using the fog as cover. She wove through the maze of obstacles, her eyes locked on Leonard.
Leonard was oblivious until he felt a hand grab the front of his vest and shove him against the wall of a narrow corridor. His blaster clattered to his side in surprise.
"Penny?! What are you—"
She silenced him with a kiss, leaning in and pressing her lips to his with a mix of affection and competitive glee. For a moment, Leonard melted into it, his hands instinctively finding her waist.
And then—beep.
Penny's blaster vibrated against his vest, signaling a hit. She pulled back, her smirk triumphant.
"Gotcha, honey," she teased, patting his cheek. Then she turned and walked away, her laughter echoing behind her.
Leonard stood frozen for a moment before a grin spread across his face.
Later in the game, Leonard spotted Penny sneaking around the second level. She had her back to him as she aimed her blaster at Sheldon, who was unknowingly walking into her line of fire.
Perfect.
Leonard moved silently, creeping up behind her. Before she could fire at Sheldon, Leonard grabbed her waist and spun her around.
"Leonard—"
This time, he kissed her, leaning in with the same mix of affection and smugness she had shown earlier. Penny's surprise melted into the kiss for a second, but before she could recover—beep.
Leonard's blaster vibrated against her vest.
"Gotcha," he said, his grin as smug as hers had been earlier.
Penny blinked, torn between frustration and admiration. "You little sneak."
"All's fair in love and laser tag," Leonard teased, tapping his blaster to hers in mock salute before vanishing into the fog.
Penny couldn't help but laugh as she headed to the respawn zone.
With the timer counting down, both teams regrouped for one last push. Penny's team defended the upper level, while Leonard's team launched an all-out assault.
Shots flew in every direction, the neon-lit maze flashing as vests lit up with hits.
Sheldon, perched on a high platform, declared himself the "Laser Overlord" and began taking out opponents with precision. "Bow before me!" he yelled as he tagged Anu.
"Sheldon, stop shouting and help us!" Howard called, tagging Stuart before being taken out by Bernadette.
"You're out, sweetie!" Bernadette called with a laugh as Howard headed back to the respawn zone.
When the buzzer finally sounded, the scoreboard lit up:
Penny's Team: 1450 points.
Leonard's Team: 1500 points.
Sheldon jumped in the air, cheering. "Victory is ours! As predicted by my superior intellect!"
Penny walked over to Leonard, her arms crossed but a playful smile on her face.
"Good game, Hofstadter," she said.
"Good game, Hofstadter," Leonard replied, leaning in for a quick kiss. "Though next time, I'm playing on your team."
She laughed. "Deal."
As the group exited the arena, Howard stretched. "Next time, can we play something less exhausting? Like trivia night or a pie-eating contest?"
Everyone laughed, but Penny leaned closer to Leonard and whispered, "No way am I sticking my face in another pie."
Apparently, her whisper wasn't quiet enough, because Amy let out a resigned sigh. "I was cleaning blueberries out of my hair for hours. Not happening again."
The rest of the group, those who didn't live at 2311 North Los Robles Avenue, exchanged puzzled looks. But the apartment's residents simply shared knowing smiles and said nothing, silently recalling the chaos of their infamous pie-eating contest. Instead, they shifted the conversation back to reminiscing about their paintball game, already tossing around ideas for their next adventure.
Howard's idea won in the end when he mentioned the undeniable lure of trivia night.
"At least there'll be more snacks," he said with a shrug, and that was all it took to sway the group.
Even Sheldon, begrudgingly, agreed—though not without stipulating, "There will be a proper balance of academic and cultural questions, or this farce of a competition is beneath me."
Penny rolled her eyes. "Yeah, because nothing screams fun like calculus on a cocktail napkin."
When the night arrived, it was decided that this time, they would play couples. Howard groaned, Bernie giving him a look of confusion for it.
Leonard and Penny teamed up as Dynamic Duo, Howard and Bernadette became Quiz Masters, Raj and Anu went with Raj Mahal, Sheldon and Amy called themselves The Braniacs, and Stuart paired up with Denise to form The Mighty Pair.
By the time trivia night rolled around, the group had taken over a corner of the bar, each couple huddled at their table, armed with snacks, drinks, and varying levels of confidence.
From the first round, it became clear why Leonard and Penny rarely teamed up. They were... relentless.
"Oh, oh, I know this one!" Penny said excitedly, nearly knocking over her drink as she slapped Leonard's arm.
Leonard raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure? It sounds like Seinfeld to me."
"Seinfeld? Please." Penny snorted. "It's obviously Friends. Write it down."
Leonard hesitated but obeyed. The correct answer: Friends.
"See? Trust me, sweetie. I know my sitcoms."
Minutes later, the tables turned.
"What's the chemical symbol for tungsten?" Leonard asked, nudging her gently.
"Uh… I know this. Wait." Penny scrunched her face in concentration. "Is it... T?"
Leonard blinked at her. "T? No, it's W." He scribbled the answer, shaking his head.
"Why is it W?"
"Because it comes from the German word wolfram."
Penny's eyes widened. "Okay, now you're just making stuff up."
The rest of the group wasn't faring much better. Howard and Bernadette were locked in a tug-of-war over the answer sheet.
"Let me write it! I have better handwriting," Howard said, reaching for the pen.
"No way!" Bernadette shot back. "You'll misspell something and then we'll lose points."
Howard frowned. "I'm the one who designed the Mars rover, Bernie! I think I can manage a few words on a piece of paper."
"Well, you also couldn't figure out how to open a jar of pickles last week, so forgive me if I'm skeptical," Bernadette quipped.
Raj and Anu, meanwhile, were overthinking everything. "It's definitely 1992. I remember it clearly from the timeline I've kept in my head—everyone was talking about it that year."
Anu raised an eyebrow, a little skeptical. "Raj, you've got to be kidding. I distinctly remember watching that documentary about it in 1994. I can't believe you're misremembering it."
Raj shook his head, laughing a little. "I'm not misremembering, Anu! It's 1992. I've got this down to the exact year—trust me, as the group historian, I know what I'm talking about."
Anu wasn't backing down. "Well, as someone who also remembers it very well, I'm going to have to disagree. 1994 is the correct answer. Maybe your timeline needs a little updating?"
Raj gave her a playful side-eye. "I'll take your 'updates' into account, but we all know I'm the one with the correct facts here."
Sheldon and Amy were deep in discussion, as usual, their approach far more methodical than anyone else's.
"Amy, this is not a guessing game!" Sheldon exclaimed, holding up a sheet filled with calculations. "We need to analyze the data, cross-reference our sources, and apply logical reasoning."
Amy, trying to keep up with Sheldon's rapid-fire thoughts, rubbed her temples. "Sheldon, it's a trivia game, not a scientific experiment. We don't have to justify every answer."
"But that's where you're wrong," Sheldon said, pointing to the answer sheet with authority. "You see, each question is a puzzle, and puzzles require precision. Without precision, it's all just random noise!"
Amy sighed, glancing around at the others, who were speeding through the questions while Sheldon meticulously worked through each one like it was a quantum physics problem. "Well, at least we'll be the most thorough," she muttered under her breath.
Stuart and Denise were taking a more relaxed approach, casually tossing guesses back and forth with little concern for accuracy.
"Wait, who's the Prime Minister of Canada again?" Stuart asked, looking puzzled.
Denise leaned back in her chair, tapping her chin. "Isn't it that charming guy... the one with the nice hair?"
Stuart squinted at the question, clearly not bothered by the lack of precision. "I think that's good enough. He's probably still in charge, right?"
Denise grinned. "Hey, it's working for us so far."
As the game progressed, Dynamic Duo began pulling ahead, much to the frustration of the others. Leonard and Penny's combination of logic and lucky guesses proved lethal.
"You've got to be kidding me," Raj muttered as Leonard correctly identified a periodic table question while Penny nailed a question about 90s fashion trends.
Howard groaned. "They're like the trivia equivalent of a hurricane. Unstoppable and kind of annoying."
Sheldon, however, grew increasingly suspicious.
"They are not that good," he declared during a break. "No one is that good. There is foul play afoot."
Amy sighed. "Sheldon, you're just mad because we're losing."
"Mad? MAD? I'm not mad, Amy. I'm logical. Their victory streak defies probability."
The final round began with Dynamic Duo narrowly in the lead. The question: "In what year did the Berlin Wall fall?"
Penny leaned in to whisper, "It's 1989, right?"
"Right," Leonard whispered back. "But don't say it out loud—"
"1989!" Penny blurted, grinning.
The host chuckled. "Well, that's correct, but maybe keep it to yourself next time."
The other teams groaned in unison.
"That's it," Sheldon declared as the scores were tallied. "I demand a recount. Leonard and Penny are clearly cheating."
"What?" Leonard said, offended. "How would we even cheat?"
"I don't know yet, but I will find out," Sheldon said, arms crossed. "Perhaps you're using some sort of signaling system. Penny touches her drink—answer A. Leonard scratches his ear—answer B. It's diabolical, really."
Penny smirked. "Or maybe we're just that good, Moonpie."
"Do not call me Moonpie in public!"
Amy tried to soothe him. "Sheldon, we lost. Let it go."
"Never," he muttered.
As the night ended, Leonard and Penny basked in their victory, grinning like kids at Disneyland. Howard and Bernadette vowed to avenge themselves on the next trivia night. Raj and Anu decided to take a more relaxed approach next time, while Stuart and Denise simply laughed it off. Sheldon, however, was already planning his strategy for a rematch.
"Next time," he declared, "there will be metal detectors to ensure no electronic cheating devices!"
Leonard and Penny just laughed, their arms around each other.
"Looks like trivia night's our thing now," Leonard said with a grin.
Penny kissed his cheek. "Better start planning that victory dance, Hofstadter. We're undefeated."
Sheldon's groan echoed across the parking lot as the group headed home, already bickering about what game to play next.
The End
This story started because of a prompt and my love for the paintball episode in season 12. Then I remembered the earlier paintball episodes and felt inspired. I needed Leonard and Penny to work well as a team, so I kept writing and added trivia night. All the couples are in it (though Stuart and Denise were tough to write). Howardette didn't do much else because, unlike paintball, laser tag doesn't have as many hiding spots! :)
This story took me several days to write and even included bits from other stories I'd scrapped. While editing, I noticed Penny calls Leonard "Hofstadter" a lot in this one, but writing just "Leonard" didn't feel as impactful, so I decided to keep it. Hope everyone enjoyed this story!