This isn't Cain-specific, but...
I am the very model of a Commissar-Imperial
I'm versed in matters military and administerial
I know the eighteen Primarchs and I quote the fights heretical
From Istvaan through to Terra's door in order alphabetical
I'm very well acquainted too with matters xenological
I know to watch for Purple Wunz in species anagogical
Regards the Great Devourer I am full of news about their case
With many cheerful facts about the monsters that will eat your face
With many cheerful facts about the monsters that will eat your face
With many cheerful facts about the monsters that will eat your face
With many cheerful facts about the monsters that will swiftly eat your face...
I'm very good with soldiers, nobles, and Adepts Mechanicus
I know how to fill transfer forms or file a briefing amicus
In short, in matters military and administerial
I am the very model of a Commissar-Imperial
I know religious history, of Vandire, Thor and Celestine
From Terran High to Ogryn cant, my dialectic ear is keen
I recite each Ministorum catechism, creed and canticle
And I know when I should fire my gun at courtiers sycophantical
I can tell Imperial dogma from the subtlest of heresies
My uniform's impeccable at attention or when at ease
Of marching songs and calls I know a hundred lyrics asinine
And can hum a thousand more until they get back to the chorus line
He can hum a thousand more until they get back to the chorus
He can hum a thousand more until they get back to the chorus
He can hum a thousand more until they get back to that frakking chorus line...
Then I can spot a Spirit Stone and understand the word "Mon'Keigh"
Or sniff a Great Unclean One out from half a dozen miles away
In short, in matters military and administerial
I am the very model of a Commissar-Imperial
In fact, when I know how to make recaff that doesn't taste of ass
When I can shoot a lasgun without setting fire to my moustache
When I can ride a Chimera and not throw up over the crew
When I can spot a honeypot before they've got my kidneys too
When I know what's a rout and what's a repositioning-at-speed
When I can track a psyker before all the walls and ceilings bleed
In short, when I've a smattering of military common-sense
I might not push my luck so far that Mister Murphy takes offence!
He might not push his luck so far that Mister Murphy takes offence
He might not push his luck so far that Mister Murphy takes offence
He might not push his luck so far that Orkish sniper shooting will commence...
Wait, what was that last bit? Oh whatever
For my practicalic knowhow, though I'm fierce and executiony
It could perhaps be raised by a millennium... or two... or three
But still, in matters military and administerial
I am the very model of a Commissar-Imperial