Two for the Ed

After recovering from the shock that was Double-D's beautiful makeover, the group of oddball adventurers left the city of Admag and ventured east to The Hub. They started by following the trade road from Admag to Squin, and spotted some ruins halfway there.

"Say fearless leader, do you mind if we check those ruins out?" Shryke asked.

"Yeah, I do mind. What do you want to waste our time for?" Eddy asked.

Shryke smirked, "Hear me out, ruins are never a waste of time. Usually there's some neat stuff in ruins like these, and they tend to be valuable!"

"Did you say: valuable?" Eddy asked with a wide smile.

Double-D scratched his head, "I have doubts that a lot of these ruins haven't been explored already."

Shryke nodded, "Yeah, but you'd be surprised what people miss or leave behind. Most exploring folks usually get killed by the wildlife or bandits when they investigate ruins."

"You know, you ain't selling these ruins to me too well." Eddy told her.

Crumblejon rubbed his chin, "I'd hate to burst your bubble, sweetie, but those ruins look a little too recent." he said.

"What do you mean?" Shryke asked.

"From the looks of it, those ruins aren't that old, it looks more like a Shek base or town that fell apart in some way."

Ruka shrugged, "Must've happened during the war, there aren't a lot of Shek towns left."

"We should avoid it then. It would be quite disrespectful to comb through the ruins of a recently destroyed town." Double-D figured.

The group agreed and continued towards Squin, Double-D then spoke again, "Say Ruka, I'm curious about that war you mentioned."

"You're curious about a lot of things, flatskin." Ruka remarked.

"It's my nature. Can- ahem, will you tell me about it?"

"Hmph."

"Just tell him Ruka, he won't shut up about it otherwise." Eddy told her.

Ruka sighed, "Fine, most of it was before my time but I know the short version. The Holy Nation invaded Shek lands, and the Shek fought back. The Shek was more powerful, but the Holy Nation had more numbers. Eventually the Stone Golem realized the Shek would be wiped out entirely, so she ordered the Shek to retreat and dig in. Now there are mainly skirmishes in the Border Zone, and the cowardly Holy Nation won't dare step foot into Shek land."

"Is Stone Golem what you call your leader?" Double-D asked.

"Her title is Queen Esata, but the Stone Golem was a name she earned through combat and is what she is mainly referred to as. She became Queen Esata shortly after slaying King Shagar as he opposed the retreat." Ruka explained.

"I see…so, is this war still ongoing?" Double-D asked.

"What is it good for?" Ed asked.

"Absolutely Beep!" said Beep.

Crumblejon cleared his throat, "From what I know, the Shek and the Holy Nation are in a sort-of armistice with the Holy Nation and Shek soldiers mainly focused on patrolling their roads and towns and neither wanting to venture out of their territory. Both will, however, attack each other in border skirmishes."

Edd rubbed his chin, "So in short, yes? That would explain why Ruka didn't want to be in Holy Nation territory."

Ruka shook her head, "Squin was lucky because it has natural fortifications. Many other Shek towns such as those ruins didn't have that."

The group went off the road and over a hill where they could see Squin tucked safely in between two massive rock formations. They headed for the gate.

"Now that Beep is the strongest warrior ever, Beep needs to find a worthy foe." Beep said out of nowhere.

"You're not the strongest warrior, Beep." Double-D told him.

"And some treasure." Beep said, ignoring the slander.

Double-D groaned, "I'm not trying to be mean Beep, but you're not even all that strong! You need to be careful, or you'll end up hurting yourself!"

"And some beautiful human ladies. FEMALE human ladies! Yes, I would like to see one of these." Beep rambled on.

"Hey! I'm a beautiful human female lady!" Shryke told him.

"BEEEEP!?" Beep cried out in confusion.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Shryke asked.

Beep swallowed nervously.

"Answer me Beep!"

"...I…I did not know this…." Beep admitted.

Eddy burst out laughing, "Hahahahaha haaa!"

"Shut it, you!" Shryke called out.

"Who…beep… w-who else is female?" Beep asked.

"I am, you moron!" Ruka told him.

"Beep is so confused!" Beep cried out.

Ed gave him a hug, "Aw, calm down little man, Ed is confused with females too."

"This is embarrassing…" Double-D grumbled.

"Oh man, this is the greatest day we had here!" Eddy cheered.

Crumblejon kept his mouth shut and enjoyed the fireworks going off.

…

The group entered Squin with no issues as the Shek guard checked their belongings. They didn't have anything aside from food, first aid kits, the clothes on their back, and the rest of their cats from their previous escapades in Admag.

Eddy stretched, "Alright, everyone take five and soon enough we'll head to the Hub."

Double-D looked around, "Come to think of it, I haven't been to Squin myself. I think I'll have a look around."

Shryke patted his back, "I'll come with ya, the Tech Hunters run a store here for expedition supplies."

"Oh, uh, thanks Shryke." Double-D said as they headed off.

"Tag Beep! You're it!" Ed suddenly said as he poked Beep.

"What does that mean?" Beep asked.

"You gotta catch me!" Ed cried out as he ran off.

"Oh, okay!" Beep went after Ed.

Eddy, Ruka, and Crumblejon were left standing around, "Those two got energy to spare." Eddy remarked.

"Say Eddy, what is your plan once we get to The Hub?" Crumblejon asked.

Eddy shrugged, "We get ready to head to that library Double-D wants us to go to."

"And…do you know all the things you'll need to get ready for that?"

"If you have a suggestion, say it, flatskin." Ruka told him.

"For one thing, we may need more people." Crumblejon suggested.

"Don't we have enough already?" Eddy asked.

"We have seven people, one being a weak bugman who thinks he's hot stuff and one being a weak pacifist. Even if we get those two ready for battle, it is likely we'll be outnumbered easily. While we work on getting equipment and trained, we should also be on the lookout for more members of our ragtag group."

"Shek Together Strong. It's not a bad idea." Ruka remarked.

Eddy turned towards the bars Squin had, "Well, let's see if we can find anyone here looking to join up!"

…

Meanwhile, Double-D and Shryke were browsing the shelves of the Tech Hunter shop. Double-D was looking through the books, "Diagrams, formulas, it'll take time to go through all these…"

"Hey, you're going to pay for them, right?" asked the shopkeeper.

Double-D put the books back and checked his coin purse. Unsure of how many they could buy.

"Forget the books, Double-D. Check this out." Shryke showed Double-D a map labeled "Lost Library" sitting on the counter.

"Another library?" Double-D asked.

"Yeah, but these ones are more ancient buildings, actual ruins, places that haven't been touched in centuries." Shryke explained.

"Aside from the Tech Hunters who spotted it. One-hundred cats." said the shopkeeper.

Double-D handed over the measly one-hundred cats and the shopkeeper handed over the Lost Library map. Shryke took the map and looked it over with their world map.

"...wait, this place is past the Northern Coast!" Shryke complained.

"I take it that's far?" Double-D asked.

"Yeah, you'd have to cross through the Holy Nation to get to it and aside from that, there are tribes of cannibals there!"

"No refunds on maps." said the shopkeeper.

Double-D sighed, "Well that was a small gamble at least. I'll take two books."

…

Eddy, Ruka, and Crumblejon entered one of Squin's bars to look for recruits. Eddy turned to Crumblejon, "See anyone promising?"

Crumblejon nodded his head towards two Shek sitting together near the end of the bar. One male, one female, both with long horns and a bit bigger than the other customers. "Those two. Shek in general are good in a fight, but that couple look like they've seen more than the others."

"They're a couple?" Eddy asked.

"Probably not, but we shouldn't get close to them." Ruka remarked.

Eddy raised an eyebrow, "Uh, why not? Do you know them?"

"I don't know the male. The female is Rane the Giant, she used to be a Hundred Guardian."

"No kidding?" Crumblejon asked.

"Is that good?" Eddy asked.

"The Hundred Guardians are the Shek Kingdom's most elite warriors. Think of it like one of them is worth about one hundred enemies." Crumblejon answered.

"Sounds like a good deal to me!" Eddy walked over to the two of them.

"Lord Eddy, wait!" Ruka called out.

Eddy walked over to Rane the Giant and cleared his throat, "Ahem, hey, I-"

"You a warrior, flatskin?" asked Rane the Giant.

"Uh, yeah! One of the best!" Eddy lied while he tried to strike a pose.

Rane the Giant chuckled, "Are you seeing this, Kang?"

The Shek sitting with Rane the Giant looked unamused, "Hmph."

"Well, you're spirited, I'll give ya that. Do you need an extra blade? Rane the Giant, pure Shek warrior will cost ya seventy-five-hundred cats. Are you in, flatskin?"

Eddy's smile dropped, "What? Seventy-five-hundred cats?"

Ruka approached, "Lord Eddy, you really shouldn't-"

"RUKA!" Rane the Giant cried out.

"Oh no."

Rane the Giant got up from her seat, her namesake not being ironic at all as she stood a head taller than Ruka and was about twice as big. Rane the Giant wrapped her arms around Ruka and lifted her off the floor into a literal bone-cracking hug, "It's so good to see you! I heard you left town over a week ago! THAT WASN'T VERY KIND OF YA TO RUN OFF WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE!"

Ruka struggled a bit while Eddy watched in shock and awe. Kang seemed to be more interested in his glass of grog. Crumblejon came over to see the commotion, "Uh…do you two know each other?"

"I'm sorry, Rane!" Ruka gasped out.

"What was that?" asked Rane the Giant.

"I said I was sorry!"

"Sorry to who?"

"You, blast it! Rane the Giant! There!"

Rane the Giant set Ruka down, "Ah, I forgive you Ruka. This time." she said with a smile.

"Holy cow." Eddy said out loud.

Ruka quickly got behind Eddy, "Lord Eddy, there's still time to-"

"Wait. Wait, wait, wait! You work for this flatskin now?" Rane the Giant asked.

"Yes, and we shouldn't waste your time any longer, Rane the Giant." Ruka told her.

Rane the Giant smirked, "Ruka, I got nothing but time. Hell, I haven't really been doing anything lately aside from trying to whip this kid into shape." Rane the Giant gestured to Kang.

Kang rolled his eyes, "I'm probably in better shape than you, Rane the Giant. Most definitely in better shape than those fragile flatskin and the hornless girl."

Rane the Giant frowned at him, "Hey, discipline your gums, Kang. Or do you want to lose your pants too?"

It was at this point Eddy and Crumblejon realized Kang wasn't wearing a shirt. Kang went back to drinking his grog.

"Anyway, my offer still stands, 'Lord Eddy', seems Ruka thinks very highly of you." Rane the Giant towered over Eddy.

"Uh…" Eddy pondered for a moment.

"Eddy, whatever you spend on her will be worth it, believe me." Crumblejon told him.

Rane the Giant put a big strong hand on Eddy's head and gently patted it, "Listen to your flatskin friend, I'll keep you alive."

"Uh, well, okay?" Eddy agreed.

"Why don't you hire the kid too? He's a bit mouthy, but he's a promising warrior." Rane the Giant motioned towards Kang.

"My fee is six-thousand cats. I will enjoy the challenge of keeping a fragile flatskin alive. I hear you people get killed very easily." Kang told Eddy.

"I mean, he isn't wrong." Said Crumblejon.

Eddy shrugged, "Okay, I guess you're hired too. We're gonna run out of cats at this rate..."

Kang finished his drink and stood up, the alcohol seemed to barely have an effect on him, "Now you are my flatskin. Nobody will touch you. If they do, I will tear out their spines."

Eddy nervously smiled, "Uh, cool…"

Rane the Giant went around and wrapped her arms around Ruka again, "This is gonna be fun, huh Ruka?"

"...this is my worst nightmare. Someone wake me up." Ruka complained.

With new allies in tow, Eddy and Crumblejon left the bar. They found Ed and Beep laughing and chasing each other down the single street of Squin. Double-D and Shryke came out of Squin's weapon shop with Double-D looking downcast.

"Hey, don't take what they said too hard." Shryke told him.

"They didn't say anything. All they did was laugh at me." Double-D said back.

"Hey guys! Meet our new recruits!" Eddy called out.

Ed, Double-D, Shryke, and Beep walked up to meet Rane the Giant - who was now carrying Ruka - and Kang.

"Hello, my name is Ed!" greeted Ed.

"Uh, greetings and salutations." greeted Double-D.

"Hey, welcome to the circus." Shryke said with a wave.

"Are you two females?" Beep asked.

Everyone gave Beep a look.

Rane the Giant laughed, "Ha! Well, I am! Here's a little hint in case you get confused, bugman."

In a swift move, Rane the Giant used her free hand to pull open her jacket and flashed her ample chest at the four.

"AAH!" Double-D cried out as he covered his eyes.

"Woah-ho-ho!" Ed laughed.

"She'll fit right in." Shryke scoffed.

"...what are those?" Beep asked.

Rane the Giant covered herself back up, "Ah, well, women have them, bugman."

"Oh…oh! Wait, how come Shryke and Ruka's are smaller?" Beep asked.

"I am going to tear your limbs off." Shryke told Beep.

"BEEEP? What did I do?"

Kang shook his head, "This job just got a lot more challenging…"

…

Soon after introductions, the now group of nine started traveling to The Hub with Rane the Giant still carrying Ruka.

"Uh, Miss Rane, may I ask why you're carrying Miss Ruka?" Double-D asked.

"Hm? Did you say something?" Rane the Giant asked.

"You gotta call her by her title." Ruka explained, "She won't listen otherwise...if she ever listens at all."

"Ah, this is just how I show affection!" Rane the Giant said as she tightened her grip on Ruka, creating the sound of a few bones popping.

"I…see…is your title that important, Miss Rane the Giant?" Double-D asked.

Rane the Giant smiled big, "It is the name the Stone Golem gave me, and I carry it with pride!"

"Along with some other things." Shryke remarked.

"And uh…how about you Mr. Kang?" Double-D asked Kang.

"I kill people." Kang flatly said.

Double-D started to sweat a little, "Uh…I see…um…"

"I won't kill you, flatskin. Not unless you give me a reason to."

Double-D decided to not ask any further questions.

Rane the Giant chuckled a bit, "Don't let the kid scare ya. He's only killed a few bandits so far."

"That's not reassuring…" Double-D mumbled.

The rest of the trek to The Hub was uneventful, and the group of adventurers entered the mostly ruined town. Crumblejon looked around, "Haven't been here in a while…still can't believe the Trade Ninjas hold up here."

"This place is a dump! You guys live here?" Shryke asked.

"No, we told you already we aren't from around here!" Eddy reminded her.

"Yeah, yeah, I know! But you guys call this place your headquarters? I mean, Mongrel at least had a bunch of shops and people around."

Double-D looked around at the destroyed buildings, "I'll admit, it could use a lot of fixing up…"

"Oh! Can we do that? We could start our own stores!" Ed cheered.

Eddy patted Ed's shoulder, "Hold your horses big guy, if we're going to do anything, we first need money. Lots of it too, especially since Ranny and the Kang Fu Kid didn't come cheap."

"What did he just call me?" Rane the Giant asked.

"Lord Eddy does that, don't question it." Ruka told her.

Kang just stood there with his arms folded.

Eddy turned to Rane the Giant, "Hey Ranny, put Ruka down, will ya? I kind of need her on ground level."

Rane the Giant looked down at Eddy "You will address me as-"

Eddy pointed at the ground, "PUT! HER! DOWN!" he screamed.

Rane the Giant stared at Eddy who stared back at her. Soon enough, Rane set Ruka down and smiled, "Whatever you say, Lord Eddy. I can see why little Ruka took a shine to ya."

"It…it was that easy?" Ruka asked.

Rane shrugged, "When your lord tells you to do something, you do it. That's just how these things go."

Kang couldn't help but smile a little, but he quickly covered it.

Eddy cleared his throat, "Okay, listen up. The last time we were here, Double-D set us up a mining operation. It didn't go well due to a bandit attack, and I had to single-handedly save everyone from being enslaved."

"Oh yeah, I'm sure you did that all on your own, fearless leader." Shryke mocked.

"He did save us, Shryke." Double-D told her.

"I helped too!" Ed cheered.

Eddy waved them off, "Yeah, yeah, but anyway, now that we have a bigger group, we won't have to worry about being attacked by those bandits."

"I'll kill anyone who tries." Kang stated.

"You better, I spent a lot on the two of you!"

"What is your plan again, Lord Eddy?" Rane asked.

"Right now, it's to earn money for our trip to the east. We are going to need food, weapons, maybe more people-"

"Camping provisions would be essential, also." Double-D added.

"Yeah, what Double-D said. So, here's how we're going to make loads of money…"

…

The current money-making plan was simple enough: Ed and Beep were ordered to mine copper while under the protection of Rane, and Kang. Eddy would lead the supervision group of himself, Ruka, and Crumblejon scouting the area for any threats and also collecting and selling the copper. Double-D and Shryke meanwhile would be in the Eds' Research and Development Shack, going through the Tech Hunter books and working on developing an Ed-Cyclopedia, patent pending.

I can hear the groaning from that pun already.

Eddy walked into the Research and Development Shack with a few books and set them on Double-D's bench, "Here's some more Tech Hunter junk." he said.

Double-D rolled his eyes, "Thank you, Eddy."

"I don't get this, Double-D. Can't you just use one book?"

Double-D groaned, "I told you already, it's more complicated than that, Eddy! The books themselves are part of a series of notes from a group known as The University of Machinists, they need to be looked over meticulously for any useful information!"

Eddy looked at the books he set on the bench, "Wait, so you're having me buy you used textbooks?"

"Sure, let's go with that analogy. Anyway, I am going to need a lot of them to learn as much about this world's technology as possible. That could lead us to a more prosperous position."

Eddy shrugged, "Sounds like one big rip to me. You know, my brother always told me that college was a scam."

Double-D looked Eddy in the eyes, "Your brother was also an enormous, untrustworthy asshole."

"...not gonna argue with that." Eddy then left the shack.

"Uh…wow…do you need a moment?" Shryke asked Double-D from her bench.

Double-D took a deep breath, "It's fine, I'm fine…I just wish he would never mention that person. Ever."

"...I think that's the first time I've heard you curse."

"I've been…restraining myself, if you haven't noticed…"

Shryke nodded, "So uh, I'm finding some stuff about armor smithing. I think it would be worth our while to make our own stuff and maybe even sell what we don't end up using."

"Sounds brilliant, let's focus on finding stuff about that."

The two worked in silence for a few minutes.

"...if you want to talk about-"

"I don't." Double-D firmly told her.

"Well, if you want to talk about anything, I can listen."

"While I do appreciate it, Shryke, I rather process my issues my own way. Thank you."

Eddy meanwhile stood atop a cliffside with Ruka overlooking Ed and Beep mining at copper without a care in the world while they were being protected by Rane and Kang. Eddy was clenching his fists a bit.

"Lord Eddy, is something wrong?" Ruka asked.

"Nope." Eddy lied.

Crumblejon looked at Eddy and then at the sun setting on another day. Wondering to himself how long this little group could hold together.