Chapter 23: A Human...Not THE Human?

After drawing the curtains and blocking out all the light in the living room, Flippy drug Oakie out of the attic. "Can you at least untie me?" the human asked.

"NO." Flippy roughly dropped him to the floor. Then he switched on a flashlight, held the beam under his chin, and stared down at Oakie through narrowed eyes.

"Please tell me that's the face of mercy," Oakie said, writhing to get in a more comfortable position. "By the way, you are a real bear, right? You're not filled with stuffing?"

Flippy gave him a strange look.

"You aren't, okay. I was just checking to see if you were real on the outside and inside. I'm real, too. In fact, I almost bled out yesterday night. Funny story, it happened in a situation similar to this…"

Flippy dropped his head shamefully, looking aside. His fur bristled when he noticed that the Book of the World had moved itself to his end table. Well, here they went again. He'd gotten so used to it not following him around for the past week, and now he had to get back used to having mini-heart attacks whenever it teleported.

"You know we can be friends, right? That's what the big guy next door recommends," Oakie said, drawing Flippy's attention back to him. "Yeah, uh huh! Doesn't that sound like something he'd go for?"

Flippy pinched the bridge of his nose, annoyed to heights never before. Lumpy could be well-meaning, but if he wasn't also the biggest dunce around...he sat down and stared at his captive.

This Thing doesn't seem that scary anymore, Flippy decided wearily. The rational part of his mind told him that it wasn't worth being afraid of; it was quite weak compared to him and had a pretty fragile demeanor. Still, over the next few minutes Flippy weighed many options and very few of them had pleasant endings for this Thing.

Oakie fidgeted like an eel the whole time. "Little guy? Like, I'm begging you. This hurts. Can we please make some sort of deal before I start ugly crying?"

After a moment's hesitation Flippy got up and went to switch on the lamp. "Stop moving!" He barked.

"Y-Yes, sir, yessir!"

Flippy rolled the human over to his front then began slicing at the knots of the rope with a knife. When he was free Oakie gave a grunt of relief, stretching his limbs out. "Oh…aaaaaaaah, finally! Thank you…oh, hey!" he exclaimed to Flippy, who was retreating, "You're going to bump into my bag. I overpacked! Well, uh, Mom overpacked. Anything you want in there is yours."

Curious, Flippy hopped on the bag and pulled it open. It was one of those cooler-type backpacks. He thought he'd find something crazy, but it was filled with everyday food and drink. After rummaging around for awhile he pulled out a double decker sandwich and a can of soda. "Ooh!"

Oakie held still, feeling like he was sitting in lukewarm water that could boil over at the slightest twitch; the bear was steadily clearing out his bag but would occasionally stop to stare at him. It took Oakie about thirty minutes to get the courage to budge more than an inch, and that was so he could retrieve Allie...slowly.

Instead of speaking, Oakie typed into her interface. Allie…I could use anything short of metaphysical wisdom right now. Tell me how to survive, please?

Well, rejoice. He untied you for a reason. Allie said. Now that you've been granted yet another chance at life, make it clear that you aren't hostile.

How do I do that?! Oakie asked.

Oh, how am I to know? Tell him you come in peace. Or first, ask him if he knows Latin. If he does, say this to him: Si vis pacem, para bellum.

Actually, don't do those last two things. You did say you WANTED to live, right?

Yeeees…? Oakie responded suspiciously. Well…okay, maybe I can start by explaining myself a little more...

He lowered Allie, startled to find the bear in his personal space. They both jumped and backed away from each other.

"Oh! Oh, you're done already?" Oakie said, eyeing the mess of wrappers and empty containers around his bag. "Makes…sense?"

They stared at each other to see who'd move next.

"Uh…well," Oakie said lamely. "IIIII know what you are. Right? Do you know what I am?"

The bear shook his head, slowly.

"Ahhh, then there's the issue! Wild animals tend to be scared of us. It's like instinct, I think. Well, you're not a wild animal, but the main point still stands. Animals are animals. I mean—not really, but—you gotta understand this is freaky for me, too. A human. I'm a human. We weren't made to handle mind-blowing scenarios like this."

A human?

"…I mean, a world filled with animals that walk and talk like us?"

Flippy had gone into a trance but was still of sound mind. Maybe he was in shock?

"And they've formed a complex society filled with things like politics and war? I mean, that's like…hah-how's that different from us?"

He had a human in front of him. He had…A. Human, in front of him.

This Thing was far removed, strange, and able to invoke every negative feeling in existence. Not just that, he'd just confirmed he wasn't an animal. This someThing had come out of nowhere, was a human, and...the one ultimately behind the creation of the Book of the World.

Flippy had drifted back in his daze, now all the way across the living room. The human hadn't followed him. "What's wrong, little guy? You okay?" he asked. "Well, I mean, I'm Oakie. What's your name?"

Flippy snapped out of it. He lurched forward and began somersaulting across the room.

"Oh hey, awesome flips! Is that what—"

The bear crashed into Oakie's chest and then pulled out the biggest knife he had.

"W...Was it something I said?" the human whimpered, staring at his terrified reflection in the knife's surface. Flippy pulled the Book of the World into view and shoved it into his face. "Okay! Okay, the Book of...? Wait, authored by…a..."

He fell into an awkward silence. Flippy glared down at him, breathing hard through his nostrils.

"…oh, boy." Oakie finished. Flippy leaned in closer with murder in his eyes. "Nonono, NO, I know what I said! I didn't mean what I said! I mean, this is a misunderstanding! That's not me, I swear, I'm fresh off the bus! I suck at writing! All my ideas are like, like, cheese you leave sitting out on the counter! Good at first, but they age terribly!"

Even though he was enraged, Flippy's mind was clear. His ultimate target had wandered right into his hands. Now all of the pain and terror he and his friends had been put through was finally going to be avenged. It had almost been too easy.

"D-Do…you have a…twin?" Oakie gasped. "Because, I…oh, man..."

After a little more thought Flippy set his knife between his teeth and cracked his neck both ways. He didn't want to make a mess on the floor or waste a single drop of that wonderful human blood, so he was going to go with strangling. The Book of the World flew in front of his face, twittering.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

Easy, champ! Get the bloodlust out your eyes! What the heck are you doing?!

Flippy gently brushed it aside. "Didn't you hear?"

Yes, I did! What, you're convinced this doofus made me?

"What did your creator look like, then?"

Oh, I dunno. The Book admitted casually. It's been so long I forgot what he looks like. Or it could be a she. I can't really remember, now that I think. What, you think I have some perfect memory? I can't even recall everything that's written in me!

Flippy stared at it calmly, flexing his hands.

The Book tried, Okay! Yes, this guy is A human, right? And I've never seen anything like him.

I guess that's not helping his case, but look! I have heard the Bookworms talk about them, the humans, before. Not at length! But there's more than just this nitwit, I know that. Does this guy seriously seem like he'd be smart enough to make something so awesome such as MYSELF?!

The Book rose dramatically into the air, radiating with light. Flippy hummed in consideration. Fair point.

I'm telling you, this is some random ass dude who probably got off the short—uh, the wrong bus. The Book insisted. And I'm not ignoring the obvious. I know it's kinda suspicious that one of his kind would just suddenly appear here, but dontcha think he could be a victim, too?

Just think! What if HE'S a victim, too?!

Flippy glowered with disdain. He no longer had the time or luxury for 'what-ifs'. He asked Oakie, "Where did you come from?"

"America! I'm an American!" Oakie cried. "I don't even know how I wound up here!"

America? The Book glanced at Flippy, who shrugged, then directly addressed Oakie, Yeah, we never heard of that place. Are there more humans where you come from?

"Yes! A ton."

See, a ton! The Book said to an impassive Flippy. And…he got from 'America' to here…by bus. I mean…it doesn't sound impossible? Oh alright, fine...

The Book drooped. I've got no ground to stand on. Usually the first thought or instinct is the correct one, so you're probably right. He's cooked, isn't he?

"No," Flippy said pleasantly. "I don't need to do that."

You know I was being figurative, right?

"Little guy and floating book, PLEASE stop keeping me in suspense," Oakie cried. "Can someone just tell me what's going to go down so I can mentally prepare for it?"

"I'm going to eat you," the bear said.

"Oooooh, thank you! I always hate the buildup. It takes years off my life...woo. Now I know what to expect. Last night wasn't like that at all. That was terrible."

The Book stared at him in complete silence for a moment. ...see, now when I witness something like this, I go back to thinking, HOPING you've got the wrong person, fuzz. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. My creator couldn't have been some village idiot!

Sure enough, it took Oakie a few more seconds to reprocess the conversation. "I—wait! Did I just hear what I just heard?!" he quickly asked.

Flippy nodded with a slight, hollow smile. His eyes were wide and an uncanny darkness had settled on his features.

Okay. You're really starting to freak me out, here, the Book told him. Let's do this. Let's at least hear what he has to say first, right? We can hold off on the dismembering for now. Okay?

"Ooh," Flippy lowered his eyelids tenderly. The Book was really starting to get him. He hopped off Oakie and the human scooted back, bumping up against the couch.

"I'm good? We're good?" Oakie asked, hyperventilating. "Please, just, I've been too overstimulated and I've been acting out of turn, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I wanted to hug all of the animals, including you even right now, but I won't, and last night I made a big ruckus! Ha! But I don't know what came over me!" he yelled at the ceiling, flinging his hands up. "I don't know! I never usually act that mindless! It was, it was like I was controlled!"

Oakie slouched and held his head, hysterical. "Then…then I got utterly violated, something attacked me in the dark and it was so, so, SCARY. But that was what made me feel like I'd woke up for a second time! I…"

He dropped his arms, exhausted and exasperated. "I don't know what's going on here, but I'm as confused as you, little guy. And then the book. I've never seen one that floats like that one. I swear I don't know a thing about it, but please don't eat my face. Or any part of me, really. I mean, what were you looking forward to the most?"

"Everything," Flippy said, "including your bones."

"...oh. Well, okay then."

Lumpy drove through his fence and parked on the grass. He stepped out of his car, whistling cheerfully. Silly him, he'd accidentally gone to work on another off day. Now he could spend the rest of his evening doing absolutely nothing and not feel guilty about it.

"Hello?" he called, when he entered his trailer. For some reason he didn't get a response back from his friend. Given his five-minute memory span, he'd already forgotten the discussion he'd had with Oakie earlier.

Lumpy ran room to room, worried. He didn't start to really panic until he saw that his elephant was sleeping alone in his cage. Who wouldn't want to cuddle up with an elephant if they had the chance?

Knock knock knock!

Lumpy went to answer the door and was surprised to find Flaky there. She began, "Um, I think—"

"Have you seen my friend!?" Lumpy blathered.

"No...well, yes—"

"Where is he!?"

"N-Next door, but—"

Lumpy charged. Flaky jumped out of the way before she got run over. "No, wait! Stop!" she cried, chasing him. "STOP—!"