Chapter 106; Catching up
Raichu opened its eyes, exhausted from the sleepless night. The bright roof of the tent indicated it was daytime.
Unzipping the tent zipper with his mouth to exit the tent, it walked out, needing to get some air.
Yesterday's battle was something Raichu wished it could forget. This had seriously been the first time the electric type had been overtaken by such battle fury.
"And it came from… Sonic" it realized.
Raichu was sure. Those emotions had come from Sonic. But was it really the case? Or even feasible?
Closing its eyes, Raichu silenced everything in its head and tried to process what it felt in the moment, trying to verify its theory.
It felt… anger. Hatred. An indomitable desire to defeat their opponent. And then shock. Fear. Disgust.
All directed on… itself?
But Raichu had no reason to feel such way about itself excluding the one incident the previous day.
In other words…
"He is feeling these things about himself right now, even in his sleep" it quickly realized.
For a few moments Raichu allowed itself to wonder how this new aspect of their bond came to be. And more importantly why?
"That's three inexplicable connections now" it thought.
Raichu had been questioning its bond with Sonic for a while now, ever since after the end of the war with team rocket.
The bond that had formed that night when the two risked their lives for each other, to protect each other from Mike's Zapdos.
Raichu was of course grateful for the bond's perks. Twice as strong as others of its kind, Sonic's insane abilities, the lightning phenomenon even though they hadn't grasped what the purpose of it was yet.
Come to think of it, Raichu had been unable to feel this part of their bond ever since the Johto league. As if the ability had been locked away.
But then the actual connections came to its mindmind, pushing the lightning phenomenon to the back of its mind.
Their thoughts? Shared. Their pain? Shared. And now their emotions? Also shared.
"Why is this happening? Are we merging or something?"
Raichu couldn't understand how any of this could be. Such abilities were abilities usually wielded by psychic types.
"I am no psychic type. Right?" Raichu wondered.
Having trained with an actual psychic type, Alakazam, Raichu was positive it wasn't a psychic type. But that left those connections inexplicable.
Returning its mind to the present, Raichu pondered what it meant now that their emotions were shared.
Or rather, what it could entail for their future.
"We lost ourselves when the anger and fear sipped in. That means that unless we work out a way to keep ourselves from getting taken over by those specific dark emotions, we could actually hurt someone again".
A hand poked Raichu out of nowhere.
It was Combusken.
"You ok?"
Raichu slumped down on the ground.
"I'd like to not talk about it right now".
"I respect it but are you ok? Like in the moment? You're not breaking down right?"
Raichu assured Combusken with a nod.
Combusken then went to head to the tent and wake up aron so they could do some training on their own until Sonic woke up.
"Combusken wait".
Combusken stopped and turned.
"Have I been… too much in our spars?"
"Sometimes. But you are a war hero. It is no question it will take a long time for me to catch up".
"I don't mean powerwise. I mean…"
Combusken shook its head before Raichu could continue.
"You are one the gentlest pokemon I have ever met. This doesn't mean much since I haven't experienced as much as you have and met the number of pokemon you have met but no. You are not what your rival claims".
Raichu was perplexed.
"Kirlia told me and Aron about its trainer's chat with that kid. It also interacted behind the scenes with Pikachu, during the museum brawl as well. It accused you of being a monster".
"After the way I acted yesterday…"
"Don't listen to that Pikachu ok? We all make mistakes. You taught me that when I couldn't land scratch properly. What is important is not repeating them. Sure you did. But beating yourself up about it as I did won't change anything".
Raichu then felt Sonic waking up. The negativity in its soul was multiplied.
"I believe you. But it's not just me anymore. As long as he feels like a monster so will I".
Sonic walked out the tent, dark circles around his eyes. Combusken rushed to him and hugged his leg tightly.
"Combu. Combusken combu!"
Raichu understood the cries as Combusken telling Sonic "you're no monster". Although the attempt warmed the inside of Raichu it wasn't strong enough to overcome the emotion of feeling like a monster for Sonic.
Regardless Sonic smiled and petted Combusken on the head, thanking it for the hug.
"Alright guys. Get your morning routine training done and I will be back. I'll go for a run to wake up".
He dropped on his knees and blue lightning crackled on his body.
"Gotta go fast" he whispered.
And with a loud take-off noise he was gone.
Raichu was saddened. It was painfully obvious Sonic was trying to get away from it until he got his emotions and thoughts in check.
The blue hedgehog raced across the coastline, the wind screaming in his ears, along with the random cries of terror from people he happened to run past.
Finally arriving in a small cape, he rushed to the edge and stopped, breathing heavily.
It was the first time he felt exhausted after using his super speed. That was worrisome.
"Not good. This has never happened before" he thought.
He sat, hanging his legs over the sea and just staring at the endless horizon.
He spent the next 20 minutes there, trying everything to get the crashing feeling off his chest.
From emptying his mind, to listening to music, to even the mistake of trying to recall happier times in Johto.
The moment he came across his photos of himself and Jasmine, it was sealed.
"How do I go on? The more I try to fix things the worse I make everything".
His voice, albeit low, echoed on the cape, despite the loud rumbling of the waves crashing on the foot of the cape.
No response of course came to him. And that drove him to despair.
"I need answers" he thought.
His hand subconsciously went to his contacts and hovered over Tails' number. His best friend could possibly have a clue as to why they had gone berserk the previous day.
But Sonic couldn't bring himself to call Tails.
"He is in Johto living his best life. I can't weight him down with my mistakes anymore. Plus…"
Mr Briney's words came to his mind. Tails would chastise him but eventually try to help his friend feel better. He would be seeing the best in Sonic.
In other words, doubt would prevent Sonic from feeling better.
Other choices popped up in his mind. Knuckles, Jet, Wave, his parents.
In a moment of madness he even considered calling Amy.
But he wasn't that desperate.
Then his eyes fell on his newest contact.
Blaze.
The prospect seemed very appealing. Blaze was a young woman of few but powerful words. The way she had helped him come to terms with hurting the illusion Entei during their travel to Slateport city was blunt but helpful.
She was a person of truth, in its bluntest form.
But still, Sonic hesitated.
He didn't know what he feared more. Finding out what he was or staying with the question marks.
As he was pondering this dilemma, he was overcome with a weird yet familiar sensation. A very familiar sensation.
"I feel… a presence..." he said looking around.
Yet he was alone.
He looked deeper trying to make sense of the sensation.
"This presence. I haven't felt it since… Alto Mare?"
He looked around again. Still noone.
"Are you here Latias?!" he called out.
Nothing. No response.
The sensation however didn't go away. It did do something for Sonic though.
It brought back the dilemma he faced back then. It was a different dilemma but the core was the same.
"Am I a monster?" he thought as recalled the dark days of pursuing Giovanni across Johto.
Back then his brothers had helped him find the answer. The circumstances now were different but the solution was still the same.
The call was initiated.
The phone beeped thrice and then the call was rejected.
Sonic sighed. Of course Blaze wouldn't pick up. If she was employed by Devon as she had hinted at during their last meeting then she was probably too busy to answer.
A ring from his phone changed that.
Looking on the screen he read the text message from Blaze.
"Apologies. I am in a meeting regarding a deal between Socexp and Devon. Word has it you are in Mauville. If yes, allow me to make up for the call rejection with a rendezvous. I will be at the cafe opposite the city's Central Square in precisely 2 hours. Again apologies, sincerely wish to meet soon. Blaze".
Sonic's jaw was hanging open and his right eye was half shut from the disbelief.
"She typed all that in 15 seconds? And in formal tone too?" he thought.
He returned his face to normal.
"This girl never seizes to surprise me. Well on the bright side, we will meet".
Invoking his super speed to rush back to his pokemon, a question popped in his mind.
"Question is, how do I get to talk about what happened yesterday? It's not like I can just walk in there and start talking about my emotions. She isn't a therapist".
He shook his head as he still raced ahead. He would cross that bridge when he got there.
Returning to his campsite, he was met with a disgruntled Raichu. He apologized, remembering that for Raichu to train, it would need him to be the sparring partner.
The training continued. Raichu and Combusken didn't show any extraordinary bits of growth although their performance was still great. Combusken, despite its defeat at the hands of Wally's Ralts, now Kirlia, was still a joyful as it always was, ever eager to grow stronger and, as it told Raichu, make right of a rematch.
Aron on the other hand started giving Raichu trouble in taking it down and it wasn't just about the sturdy ability. The rock and steel type managed to pick up take down, giving it another move, a deadly one especially due to its massive weight even as a small pokemon, and roar which would be a useful ability in selecting the matchups. So far its movement consisted of metal claw, iron defense, roar and take-down. Although dropping headbutt for a recoil move could pose a risk, Sonic knew it would be a temporary move. After all there were tens of better moves out there that could utilize aron's weight and plus when it evolved it could become slower so their battle style could change.
Staying the course and keeping in mind to always look for improvements and adaptations to their battle style, the trio of pokemon wrapped up their training session and headed for the town in Sonic's pokeballs.
Not 5 minutes after reaching the town, while walking through the streets, heading for the rendezvous location, Sonic noticed how several passerby individuals looked at him weirdly. Some even gave him dirty looks and some even scared looks.
"What's going on? Something on me?" he wondered as he checked himself on the glass of a passing bus.
Nothing.
Shrugging it off for now, Sonic arrived at the cafe.
Several heads turned to him for a fleeting moment as he entered. He ignored the attention, looking around for Blaze.
"Am I late?"
"Damn!" Sonic jumped "I thought we were past you sneaking up on me".
"Not in the least" she said with the hint of a smile.
Sonic chucked. The fact that she could hold a straight face like that with such slight changes had something entertaining about it.
A waiter directed them to a table which Blaze had reserved.
"Been quite a while" Sonic said to open the conversation.
"It's only been a week. But… with all I have heard, I am not surprised in the least it has felt like a long time to you. Where's your friend?"
"Wally?"
"Yes".
"It's a long story but to make it short, his family found us and he proved himself to them via a battle against me. He then left to fix things with them and start the gym challenge from the beginning".
"I see" Blaze said, pausing for a second "That is positive news. You gave the kid the chance to conquer his fears and stand up for himself. You should be proud".
"I am".
Blaze didn't seem convinced.
Sonic looked away for a moment, trying to find a way to turn the conversation to a direction where he could talk to Blaze about what had been troubling him but caught the eye of a teenager staring daggers at him.
"What's with the townsfolk today? They're acting quite strange".
"News spread. Of the Slateport museum brawl and of your battle with gym leader Wattson".
Sonic didn't expect to hear that. Sure, it made sense that news of the brawl would spread. But Wattson had talked about their battle? Or had it been Ash? Or anyone else who was there?
"The folk around here now see you as bad news. Several museum visitors heard the enforcer declare his employer wanted to have a word with you. With something so vital spoken and so little context, people are quick to begin whispering" Blaze casually explained.
"And about the gym battle? Who spread the news?"
"The gym leader's referee. A video was even uploaded but the gym leader forced him to take it down. Gym battles are not allowed to be posted without the approval of the challenger".
Sonic for a moment wondered since when that was a thing but quickly dropped the thought.
"The video did reach the screen of several employees at Devon. Uncle seemed rather disturbed".
Sonic looked away in shame. He began regretting seeking a meeting with Blaze.
"Why would you go berserk like that? Both you and your Raichu?"
Sonic opened up. He and Raichu didn't know the other knew but both were aware of the further development of their bond.
"During the battle, Wattson pinned Raichu down. I think I have PTSD from my first war with team rocket because it reminded me of the night I confronted the boss of team rocket the first time. He had Raichu pinned down and almost killed it. It was the first time I had felt such… such fear. We adapted our entire way of battling to make sure it wouldn't happen again".
He looked down, too ashamed to meet her yellow eyes.
"When Wattson's pokemon pinned Raichu down, I saw red. It was like I was back on that helipad battling Giovanni. I was consumed by… fury. I was ready to go to any lengths to come out on top. And… so was Raichu".
"Why would your Raichu do such a thing?"
"Our bond developed further. We now share something else, apart from pain and thoughts; Our emotions".
Blaze's eyes widened at first in silent shock and then in understanding. If that was true then it was no wonder Raichu went berserk as well.
"So. What do you have to say now that you know?"
"What would you have me say?"
Sonic was flabbergasted. Blaze seemed to always know what to say.
"I mean… what is your stance about it? About the fact that I went berserk, even thought it could be because of possible PTSD?"
"… what is your opinion about your actions?"
Sonic didn't know what to reply. The whole reason he was here was…
"I don't know what to think about it. I just don't. Part of me wants to cut myself some slack because I have been through so much but the rest, which happens to be most of me is drowning in shame. Chastises me for not being strong enough to move on from that war. I thought I had. And yet…"
"You feel weak".
Sonic nodded. Maybe now that Blaze actually began completing his phrases, meaning she believed it was worth it to do so, they would get somewhere.
"Let us get the obvious out of the way. You are not weak. Whatever your stance is about this, you have become a legend. The people see you as something out of this world and that has probably led you to believe that you need to be unyielding, unbending, the symbol of hope you became in the battle of Goldenrod city".
Sonic was shocked at how spot on she was, even though he didn't realize that was the case himself. After all navigating emotions wasn't an easy process.
"How did you…?"
"Being the heir to a company like Devon has a similar effect. The workers treat you differently than they would each other. Not always in a good way".
"Wait. Are you saying…?"
"That I am the current heir to Devon corporation? Yes".
Sonic's jaw hang open.
"Wha…? How is this…? I mean… I'm sorry that was a bad reaction. It came so out of nowhere".
"Do not bother. Most people have this reaction. Point is, I understand the feeling of inadequacy, of not doing enough. Which is why I was so quick to accuse your rival, Ash, of the same thing".
Under this new light, her harsh words to Ash made all the more sense. She was talking with experience from a lot more than just pokemon battling.
"So get this in your head. You are not weak. What you've gone through would have broken most individuals out there. You instead were shaped into a hero. But it doesn't excuse your mistake in the Johto league, neither your berserk state in the gym battle".
Sonic waited for her to finish but she never did. She was expecting his response now.
"But what am I supposed to do then? If I'm not weak… then what am I? Cause I don't feel like a hero. Heroes wouldn't do what I have done".
"You came here to ask me if you are a monster, is that right?"
Sonic nodded. This was it.
"I don't think you are a monster. Yet".
Sonic felt peace during the first half but then was thrusted into panic mode.
In that moment the waiter brought them what Blaze had ordered for herself and Sonic. After she left, Blaze continued.
"I didn't sugarcoat it for Ash, and I won't for you either. The accidental illegal move, you can say it was a one off. The museum brawl, you weren't the only one involved, although the enforcer wanting you is suspicious. But the berserk rage you displayed? I think it's a sign you are slowly turning into a monster".
There it was. The confirmation of all his fears.
Sonic was indeed becoming like Giovanni.
"So… it's… too late. My entire attempt at redemption…"
"Is the reason I added the word yet. You're most certainly not a monster yet. But you are still capable of becoming one".
Sonic looked down at his drink, seeing his reflection on the surface.
In his mind's eye he saw half of his face changing. Mutating.
Transforming into his nemesis.
"Yes. We are the same" the malicious voice of Giovanni whispered in his ear.
"Sonic!" Blaze snapped her fingers in front of his face, shaking him out of his trance.
"Wha- who-what-huh?"
"Did you hear what I just said?"
"I err.. zoned out after you said that I'm capable of becoming…"
"Yes. You are. As long as you continue to remain a slave to your emotions. And if that happens your Raichu will suffer the same fate".
Sonic contemplated her words and couldn't help but agree. Raichu and he were connected deeper than any other trainer and pokemon duo in history. His fate and Raichu's were eternally intertwined.
"Do you understand what you need to do?"
"I think so. Not act on emotion".
"Wrong".
"Wrong?"
"Denying your emotions will make you detached from the world. It's not about not feeling. It's about resisting the temptation to act on emotion. I have a lot of first-hand experience in this regard".
"You do?" Sonic asked her, while subconsciously noting that Blaze wasn't talking formally as she usually did.
"Yes. I had to. You see, I wasn't always meant to be the heir to Devon corp. Steven was originally the heir but he and uncle had had a great number of arguments about this, with Steven wanting to follow his passions instead. So with Steven not willing to step up, uncle chose me instead. Maybe you can guess it but the employees took a while to accept me as their equal and future boss".
"You mean you had trouble?"
"A lot and from a lot of people. A lot of the employees tried to suck up to me to get in my uncle's favor. Many female coworkers tried spreading nasty rumors about me for petty reasons. But most annoying of all was when many males ones cat called me".
"Dude. And worst of all it would be literally cat calling you".
Blaze chuckled at Sonic's pun.
"In all seriousness though, there were many times I wanted to lash out and many more times that I wanted to break down. Steven was there to support me all the way. A lot of people try to help by either being there to listen or taking action in the area of the problem. But Steven did something entirely different".
"What was it?"
"He took me on a trip around Hoenn. We spent a week away from the company and all the people that were causing me problems. While on the trip, Steven and I visited many spots in Hoenn containing ancient lore. The way I saw Steven marvelling over the history of our homeland and even more so, literally stones and rocks, it managed to shake me out of my stress".
"I kinda figured this was his passion when I met you two in the Granite cave" Sonic said while smiling, remembering how Blaze had offered him that handkerchief to wipe his face off the mud.
"After I had relaxed we had an in depth talk about everything and he asked me one key question; if I believed taking over Devon one day was worth it. I knew right away it was. And in that moment I promised myself I would master my emotions. And I did. I learned to be absolute and professional when dealing with company matters. Was able even to uproot a couple of toxic workers and have them fired, one for sexual harassment, the other for defamation".
"Wow. I never wondered how common phenomenon like that was".
"You have no idea. But I strayed off the point. I mastered my emotions to deal with very harsh challenges in an already challenging environment. And now so must you".
"Master my emotions?"
"Yes. They are a part of you. Nothing you should be ashamed of. But so far when faced with a challenge you have forfeited control to them. And look where this has got you".
"I know. I've made so many mistakes and I keep making more".
Blaze's eyes narrowed.
"Last I checked, shady deals were not a common mistake".
"Shady deals?"
Blaze put her hands on the table, one on top of the other.
"I know you and uncle have an agreement. He wouldn't confess the nature of it. I know you have done a lot for the company in Johto and here against the enforcer but it was not ethical to ask him something as shady as I suspect. And I have means of finding out stuff. I am to inherit the company after all. So I'll ask you only once and for your own sake DO NOT LIE. Cause I will know. What is the nature of your agreement?"
Sonic was caught in a bind. He had two choices.
Lie to Blaze and keep the nature of the deal intact or risk it and tell the truth.
Revenge versus a potential friend.
Sonic bit the bullet. There would be many ways to find Shadow later.
"I asked Mr Stone to pass shady information regarding Socexp corporation to me. I know who the enforcer is but can't prove it. But this is not about exposing him to the public. It's about getting even with him. I do not intend to harm either Devon or Socexp. It's only personal".
Blaze sized him up for a moment.
"Why?"
"He… he is kind of the reason I became a trainer. He was my personal tormentor in my hometown, of me and my friends. He turned one of our friends against us, as far as I know. The girl I liked… and now that he is here I can't just let it go. The guy needs to pay".
She was visibly disapproving but didn't voice it.
"Your motivation is… understandable. Misguided but understandable. I shall not interfere as long as the company is not affected in any way. Provided… you tell me about Alto Mare".
Sonic nodded. He knew she would mention it sooner or later.
"We visited the town for my friend's birthday. A whole lot of events went down there".
"I understand but I need you to tell me about the city's guardians".
"Latias and Latios?"
Blaze nodded, her posture indicating she was rather invested in this.
"Well, we did meet them. Ash and his crew were there too. He bonded with Latias while I did the same with Latios".
"And how did it feel meeting them?"
Sonic recalled that meeting.
"It was like… Latios was talking to me directily. As if our souls became linked while I was there… while…" he stopped.
"What is it?"
He sighed.
"While it lived".
"It died?"
"Yes. Saving the town from a tsunami".
Blaze shook her head.
"That's not possible. There must have been a treasure called the soul dew keeping the city in balance".
"It was destroyed during the battle with two mercenaries from team rocket".
"What?!" Blaze exclaimed, way louder than she intended "what do you mean it was destroyed?"
"What… what else could I mean?" Sonic asked, taken aback.
Blaze looked shaken, as if she was processing what she had heard.
Realizing her state quickly, she composed herself.
"Unfortunate. I had heard rumors about this legendary jewel and wished I could see it with my own eyes one day".
Sonic wanted very badly to press on the matter. Something did not add up.
Afterwards Blaze changed the subject, returning to regular stuff, like asking Sonic about his family.
Although the hedgehog replied, it felt awkward for him.
The two had literally had an existential talk about emotions and putting all cards on the table so far and now were making small talk.
Although it was funny learning how Steven had a collection of evolution stones in his room and sometimes travelled to the mines of Fallarbor town to dig with the miners, hoping to find a new kind of stone, it felt hollow for some reason.
Eventually the time came for Blaze to leave. As they exited the cafe, she got a text.
"It's from uncle" she said quickly and added as to why she was mentioning it "he asks how the meeting went and also says hi as I told him I would give him the details of it later since I was on my way to meet you. He also says…"
"What?" Sonic tilted his head.
"He also says he will have news for you soon. Regarding your agreement".
Sonic his spirit go into a rush.
Finally some news. Finally he could take the fight to Shadow, be it in a pokemon battle or using his powers. Cause he wouldn't hesitate to do so.
"I see. Tell him thank you for me, although I will thank him myself as well".
"Sonic" she said seriously, grabbing his arm "I know I said I wouldn't interfere… but that was before I knew this was coming so soon. This… this is exactly what you must not do".
"Go after Shadow?"
"Yes".
"But he needs to be stopped. You know it too".
"Then answer me this question. If you are going to pursue him why will you do it? Will it be to bring down team Magma? Or will it be personal as you claimed earlier?"
Sonic looked away. He couldn't answer this. Not that he needed to. He had literally said it was personal before bringing team Magma into the matter.
Blaze didn't need to hear it though.
"You do this for personal reasons, you will continue down the path of becoming a monster Sonic. This is what I meant by mastering your emotions. I hope you take my words to heart. See you around" she said and left.
Sonic watched her leave and then dashed away, heading somewhere to be alone. He had a whole lot to process.