Patrick is sitting on a couch made of sand, watching a YouTube video titled:
"How to Not Be a Dumbass (Step 1: Stop Being You)"
He's taking notes on a banana peel.
Patrick (to himself):
"Okay... step one: critical thinking. That's like… thinking, but with, like… glasses."
Suddenly, the idea hits him like a jellyfish to the face:
Patrick:
"I should go have dinner with SpongeBob. Smart people eat dinner together, right?"
Act 1: Dinner Plans
Patrick shows up at SpongeBob's door uninvited, holding a dead jellyfish as a "gift."
SpongeBob (as always, hands behind his back):
"Oh, Patrick… what a surprise. Of course you can stay for dinner."
Patrick (grinning like an idiot):
"Cool! I'm not gonna be a dumbass anymore!"
SpongeBob (smiling too wide):
"That's adorable. Let's work on that... after dessert."
Meanwhile…
Pearl, sick of waiting for answers, sneaks back into SpongeBob's house. She tiptoes through the living room, avoiding the dining area, and finds the basement trapdoor slightly open.
She descends.
The basement is cold. Metal. The light flickers.
She turns the corner… and sees it.
Squidward.
His body is no longer just mutilated—it's fully dead, pieces missing, a fake vagina sewn into his pelvis, mouth stuck in a silent scream.
Pearl can't even speak. She drops to her knees. Her face is pale. Her mouth opens—but no words come out.
Act 2: SpongeBob Arrives
From upstairs, the basement door creaks.
Footsteps.
SpongeBob's voice:
"Pearl… what are you doing down here…?"
He's behind her.
Pearl slowly turns, tears in her eyes. She tries to scream. Nothing. Her voice is locked in pure horror.
SpongeBob (hands behind his back, smiling):
"Dinner was almost ready, you know. But now you've spoiled the surprise."
He walks closer.
SpongeBob (softly):
"You weren't supposed to see this. But it's okay. There's room for you too."
Act 3: Split Tension
Upstairs, Patrick is just sitting at the dinner table, eating sand with ketchup.
Patrick:
"SpongeBob? Where's the food? And why is Pearl screaming in her soul?"
Back downstairs, SpongeBob gently grabs Pearl's arm, dragging her backward.
Pearl (finally whispering):
"You're a monster."
SpongeBob (whispering back):
"No, Pearl. I'm an artist."
He raises a needle filled with glowing green fluid.
Cut to black.