Sandy and Patrick sit outside SpongeBob's pineapple. They've been there for hours.
Sandy:
"He hasn't left the house in days. Ain't no laughter. Ain't no cooking. Ain't no SpongeBob shit."
Patrick:
"I offered him mayonnaise. He didn't even insult me."
Sandy (narrowing her eyes):
*"We gotta go in there soon. Something's wrong."
Cut to inside: SpongeBob, walking quietly, smiling, hands behind his back.
He opens the basement door.
ACT 2: The Final Cuts (Squidward)
Squidward is nothing but a limp slab of meat at this point—no legs, one arm left, fake body parts sewn into him like a butcher's mannequin.
SpongeBob hums.
SpongeBob:
"This… is the final note of your symphony, maestro."
He slices off Squidward's last remaining arm with a bone saw.
Then his nose. Then his ears.
Squidward exhales. One final wheeze.
Then—dead.
SpongeBob (bowing politely):
"Bravo. Encore in the next life."
ACT 3: Focus Shifts: Pearl
He turns to Pearl, who's strapped down on a metal slab. Her eyes are open. Terrified.
SpongeBob (cheerful):
"Don't worry, Pearl. You're strong. You're going to help me understand growth."
He pulls out tools: scalpels, syringes, and a horrifying device labeled:
"Hormonal Reassignment Injector – V2"
ACT 4: The First Procedure
SpongeBob injects something glowing into Pearl's neck.
Pearl (screaming):
"I'm not your fucking project, you psychotic sponge!"
SpongeBob:
"Oh, but you are. You all are."
He begins slicing into her leg, inserting mechanical rods into her calf muscles, as she screams and thrashes.
SpongeBob (smiling):
"I'm making you stronger. Better. Evolved."
ACT 5: Upstairs Concern
Meanwhile, Sandy and Patrick decide to knock.
Sandy:
"SpongeBob! Open up! You missed five shifts, dammit!"
No answer. But the curtains twitch.
Patrick (genuinely worried):
"I think he's crying with no tears."
ACT 6: Public Suspicion
Neighbors start whispering. Mrs. Puff, Larry, even Bubble Bass are outside.
Mrs. Puff:
"No one's seen Pearl in days either..."
Larry:
"Y'all smell that? It's like... meat, oil, and burnt rubber."
Sandy:
"We're going in soon. I don't care if we gotta break the damn door down."
ACT 7: Basement Madness
Back downstairs, SpongeBob is carving into Pearl's back. Her face is contorted in agony. Her breathing is shallow.
SpongeBob:
"Once the spine is stabilized, you'll move differently. Gracefully. Like a queen."
He straps something cold and sharp to her skull. She passes out.
SpongeBob (softly):
"You're going to be perfect, Pearl. I promise."
ACT 8: The Distraction
A loud knock upstairs. Voices.
"SpongeBob!"
"Open the door!"
"We're calling the police!"
SpongeBob sighs, wipes his gloves, and calmly walks back upstairs—his face smiling, but twitching.
ACT 9: Social Mask
He opens the door.
SpongeBob (cheerfully):
"Hi, everyone! Sorry, just working on... art projects. Been feeling creative. You know how grief gets."
Sandy (staring):
"You smell like formaldehyde, SpongeBob."
SpongeBob:
"You smell like accusation."
They stare.
Patrick (whispering to Sandy):
"He's got jam under his fingernails again..."
ACT 10: Final Moments
Back in the basement:
Pearl is unconscious. Her body is mutilated but wired with tubes and machines.
Next to her, Squidward's remains are being sealed in a bio-pod.
Label: "Specimen Deceased. Successful Completion."
SpongeBob (from upstairs, coldly):
"Now they're all watching. Which means… I have to speed things up."
He flips a switch on a wall.
Something growls in a cage we haven't seen before.
TO BE CONTINUED.