Chapter 1

(3,659 BBY - 4 years old)

"Tanzy, pick me up." I remember looking up at the droid with an innocent smile. 10-C, or Tanzy as I always called her, was the nanny droid Mother bought to care for me while she helped Father run the cantina.

"Come here." Tanzy set down the broken holo-emitter that normally projected my holopet, a small jax named Jay Jay, and picked me up and settled me on her hip. I reached my arms around her neck as if to hug her then quickly pressed the small button behind her ear, just like I'd seen Mother do when Tanzy was annoying her. The droid went stiff and I wriggled out of her immobile arms. Within minutes I was downstairs in my new favorite hiding spot. A few weeks before I had discovered the small space between the jukebox and the new automixer and as long as I stayed in the shadows all the way back by the wall, not even a borgle bat in the darkest cave on Rori could find me.

As usual, Mother was serving tables and Father was mixing drinks. Only the occasional customer used that shiny new automixer. Most of the regulars preferred Father's drinks. I remember the awful smell and wondering why anyone would want to drink them at all. Of course, it was probably the combination of stale drinks and unwashed bodies that was so offending to my tiny nose, but I wouldn't have known that then.

It was a slow night, not nearly as crowded as usual and from my hiding spot I could see bits and pieces of the Twi'lek hologram dancing on one of the tables. Occasionally, I even caught a glimpse of one of my older brothers, Jarik, Caalin, and Nial. They were all much older than me and worked in the Cantina with my parents. Jarik and Caalin were bouncers and Nial cleaned tables and helped Mother serve drinks. I had two other brothers, the twins, Rosh and Riyec. I've never met them though; they both joined the Republic Army before I was born.

Eventually, the drone of voices and jizz music lulled me to sleep. I'm not sure how long I slept before my brother's voice woke me.

"Son of a mynock, what is that smell?"

My eyes flew open and my heart began to pound. I looked up and saw Jarik looming over me. He sneered down at me. I shrank back into the shadows and frantically looked from side to side, searching for somewhere to run. All I could see was the smooth, metallic sides of the jukebox and automixer.

Nial and Caalin sauntered over and looked over Jarik's shoulder. Nial laughed roughly and said, "What have we here?"

"Ugh!" Caalin waved his hand in front of his nose dramatically, "smells like bantha dung!"

"Look," Nial pointed down at me, "something must have crawled in and died." He grabbed the broom away from Caalin and roughly jabbed the sticky, smelly bristles right in my face. I tucked my head to my knees and tried to cover my head with my arms. The bristles stabbed and scratched my arms and I felt hot tears pouring out of my eyes. When he finally stopped, I tentatively lifted my head to look up at them. They were all smiling cruelly at the jest and I was so mad at them. What had I ever done to make them be so mean? I was only four years old, for Light's sake! It was as if my mere presence offended them.

"Leave me alone," I tried to yell at them, but my voice quavered and cracked.

"Well, feed me to the fishes of Naboo. It speaks!" The boys laughed at Jarik's jest.

"You better get it out of there," Caalin said to Jarik. "We can't have it stinking up the Cantina."

Jarik grunted in agreement and reached for me. I tried to pull away from him, but he caught hold of my shirt and hauled me out. I twisted and swung at him; my little fists balled up tight. He lifted me off the ground, dangling me in his outstretched arm so I couldn't reach him. I tried kicking, but that just made them laugh even more.

"Now what?" Nial asked. Caalin shrugged and they both looked to Jarik, the eldest, for ideas. He smirked, obviously amused with whatever twisted idea had come to his mind.

"We put it in the trash compactor, of course."

I froze, still suspended in his grip. Tanzy had warned me to stay away from the trash compactor, told me it would crush me like a Hutt sitting on a Kowakian monkey-lizard. I couldn't believe they would do that to me, but Nial walked over to the trash compactor and pulled it open. I panicked. My arms flailing wildly, I clawed at Jarik's hand like a trapped razor cat, but he didn't even flinch and his grip on the back of my shirt was like iron. I screamed when he held me out over the open maw, and they all laughed at me.

I think their brutal laughter was what snapped me out of my state of panic. They were having fun! I was terrified and they thought it was funny. My own brothers! Even at four, I knew that wasn't right somehow. Then I got mad. I was so angry with them. I'm ashamed to say, but it was out of that anger that I first used the Force. I felt this power building inside me and when I screamed my outrage all that power rushed out of me, throwing them back at least half a dozen meters. I crashed to the floor, too stunned and drained to move.

I think it was at that point my parents came charging into the room. There was a lot of yelling, some of it directed at me, and then my mother roughly grabbed my arm, pulling me to my feet, and marched me back to my room. She lost her temper when she saw Tanzy deactivated. She slapped my face and told me to get into my bed. I hid under my blankets while she turned Tanzy back on and directed her wrath at the droid. I never saw Tanzy again after that. I'm not sure what happened to her. I hope she found another family to serve, but I'm afraid my parents might have had her scrapped.

I cried myself to sleep that night and in the morning a stranger was sitting next to my bed, waiting for me to wake.

"Good morning, Mariatu." Her voice was kind. That's the first thing I remember thinking. Then she smiled at me, but it wasn't cruel like the smiles I always saw on my brothers' faces. Her eyes lit up. I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes.

"Hello," I said, and smiled back at her. I couldn't help it, her smile was contagious, and for a minute I forgot the horrors of the previous night. "What's your name?" I asked curiously.

"Shadra Nise. I am a Jedi Master from the Academy."

I owe my life to Master Shadra Nise. I don't know what would have happened if she hadn't come for me. At best I would have grown up being tormented by my brothers until I was old enough to run away, and then . . . who knows what would have been. But even living on the streets would have been better than if I had been discovered by the Sith.

Coming into the Force through anger was an ominous beginning. It took my master many long years to teach me control over my emotions. Sometimes I'm still not sure she succeeded.

I left for the recently rebuilt Telosian Jedi Academy with my new master that morning. I took nothing with me except the clothes on my back and the small broken holo-emitter that Tanzy had left sitting on the foot of my bed. I still have that holo-emitter. I keep it to remind me that my actions affect so much more than just me, and to help me remember just how close I was to the Dark Side before the Jedi rescued me.