NOTICE: Until we continue the Duel of the Dragon storyline, please accept this refreshed chapter that Jamtaro and I have painstakingly rewritten, with a little help from our friends.

Season 2

Episode #28:
"Mushroom Temple Tango"

FEATURING THE VOICES OF:

VERONICA TAYLOR as Ranma/Ranko
CRISPIN FREEMAN as Kenma
RACHEL LILLIS as Akane and Old Woman
LISA ORTIZ as Nabiki
MEGAN HOLLINGSHEAD as Kasumi
MIKE POLLOCK as Genma
DARREN DUNSTAN as Soun and Old Monk
TED LEWIS as Akimitsu, and Old Man
ERIC STUART as Kuno
MADDIE BLAUSTEIN as Mousse
CARTER CATHCART as Ryoga and Happosai
STUART ZAGNIT as Mushroom Picker

Opening and Closing Narrations provided by Ken Gates

I would like to inform you, this version has been reworked to remove the incest jokes. For anyone who didn't like 'em last time, we'd like to say we're sorry. So we will.

We're real sorry.

For posterity's sake, this happened before Mousse decided to call it quits on getting Shampoo all to himself. Let's just say "it took a while for his declaration to settle in after he made it." Sheesh!

…or maybe, this episode is just a dream.

"It's an offer you won't wanna miss: eat as many wild mushrooms as you want, receive spiritual training—and the whole thing is free!" Genma crowed as he read from the brochure he'd received in the mail the other day.

It's a splendid, sunny day, and Ranma and company are going to spend it out in the countryside!

The entire group was on a bus, heading out to the countryside for a day in the wilderness.

"Sounds like a scam to trick rubes into eating mushrooms that could be poisonous," commented Aki as he cracked his knuckles.

Of course, with Ranma's usual luck, a splendid day never stays splendid for very long—at least, not for him…

Tonight's Episode:
MUSHROOM TEMPLE TANGO!

Once the group had disembarked from the bus, they were hoofing it on foot towards the temple. …well, the others were hoofing it. Kenma was drifting along on the Nimbus.

Akane took a deep breath, and sighed contentedly. "Nothing beats that good, clean country air," she smiled.

"Yup," nodded Aki. "Really helps you get in touch with nature and your surroundings, y'know?"

"Well said, Akimitsu. It really is quite pleasant to get away from it all, every once in a while." Soun agreed with the sportsman, possibly for the first time.

"Ah, Akane Tendo; I know this is merely a ploy to spend time with me, is it not?" declared Kuno as he poked his head in between the couple. "And in the mountains, too...ah, you little vixen~"

Akane rolled her eyes. "Ugh! Whose idea was it to invite Kuno again?" the tomboy asked, exasperated.

"Don't look at me," replied Kenma. "I didn't want him anywhere NEAR us!"

"Same here," Ranma agreed.

"You can be MY zen practice partner, Akane!" gushed Ryoga as he popped his head up. "For a long, long, LONG, long time!"

Akane gave a sheepish smile. "...that's nice, Ryoga," she responded. "It's good to have you on this trip as a friend."

Hearing that made the bandana-clad boy's head sag in dismay, while Akimitsu allowed himself a discreet chuckle at Ryoga's expense.

"~Goin' on a mushroom hunt, hope that we'll have fun~" sang Kasumi to herself as she happily trotted down the path. "~Goin' on a mushroom hunt, good for ev'ry-one!~"

The others joined in as they continued on their way down the trail.

Soon, the group arrived outside the Mushroom Temple's entrance.

"Whoa…!" remarked Nabiki. "This place isn't a total dump after all, eh?"

"This vacation plan of Mr. Saotome's might turn out to be a good idea after all!" commented Akane.

Kenma scoffed loudly. "First time for everything," he observed.

"And in other news, the cows might finally come home." Ranma snarked.

Kenma snickered and slapped fives with his brother.

"These are quite the impressive mushrooms," observed Mousse as he squatted down in front of a few mushrooms that grew nearby.

"I wonder if they're edible," commented Kasumi.

"Some of them are," said an elderly voice from nearby, getting everyone's attention. "But some are extremely poisonous as well."

Everyone lifted their heads and looked over to see an old man with a beard that grew down to his wrists standing nearby; he wore a blue and yellow robe.

"Welcome to the temple," he said. "Tomorrow, an expert mushroom picker shall bless us with his presence!"

"Abbot, thank you for allowing us to stay," said Soun.

"Of course," said Abbot. "While you are here, please eat only the mushrooms that the expert has picked."

Apparently, Genma didn't get the memo, and was about to help himself to one of the mushrooms he'd found on the ground, right before…

KLONG!

…the panda found himself face first on the pavement. How dare you strike your father!, read his sign.

"Didn't ya hear what the priest just said, jackass?!" Ranma screamed.

"Yeah!" Kenma agreed. "Unless you wanted an early death from mushroom poisoning!"

Genma spun his sign around and held up the mushroom. Then you eat it, then!

"Do I look as stupid as you act?" Kenma retorted dryly.

SHORTLY…

Everyone was seated inside the temple, arranged in a row next to one another. Abbot was carrying a wooden bokken as he moved between each of the guests.

"Nothing but mushrooms, and just three—depending on what state Ranma is in, four—women around," groused Happosai. "...well, at least it's all free."

THWACK!

The old lech cried out in pain as he got a smack on the head. "What's the big idea, huh?" he snapped, rubbing his head.

Soun sighed. "I suppose the master has lost his connection with his spiritual side," he remarked. "It's always a shame when this sort of thing happens."

THWACK!

Then he received a firm whack in the shoulder. "Oww…!" he groaned.

Hmph! Seems like Mr. Tendo's a little detached from his spiritual side too, Ranma thought before he received a whack of his own.

THWACK!

"Ah! Dammit!" seethed Ranma as he rubbed his sore shoulder.

"There's just no hope for Ranma, is there?" Akane snidely questioned.

'l"That's what Ranma gets for not concentrating," Ryoga sneered, ever-so-smugly.

'So close, and yet so far,' thought Akimitsu.

'This is the extent of his talent, then?' Disappointing, really, thought Kuno.

Genma held up another sign. You've got a long way to go, boy.

'So you got taken by surprise—big deal!' thought Kenma. Could've happened to anybody!

Of course, each of them received a firm whack to the head, including Genma.

But what about being KIND to animals?! Genma's sign had read, followed by him getting another whacking.

"You ain't an animal, so take it like a man," Abbot glared back at Panda Genma.

Eventually, the evening gave way to night, and everyone went about their own activities.

Ranma was out in the courtyard, sparring with Kenma, who also found himself with not much to do. He'd been drawing for a bit, but he couldn't find much around the place he wanted to draw.

As Ranma launched a roundhouse kick, Kenma ducked out of the way; when Ranma started throwing multiple punches, Kenma did as best as he could to keep up and block each blow.

"Ranma? Kenma?" came Akane's voice as she entered the courtyard. "What are you two doing out here?"

"Killing time, mostly," responded Kenma. "Too bored to sleep, not to mention it's what—8? It's too early, also!"

"And you?" asked Ranma.

"Well, the stars are just so beautiful I didn't wanna miss them," said Akane.

"Huh. I guess they are pretty nice." Ranma admitted as he looked up at the sky.

"Yup," Kenma agreed as he tilted his head skyward.

Suddenly, out of the bushes emerged Kuno. "Ah! So here you are, my beloved Akane~!" he crowed. Only to receive a startled punch to the gut from Akane.

"What are you doing?" inquired Akane. "You scared the crap outta me!"

"And how long were you hiding in the bushes?" Kenma asked curiously.

"I see you had your heart set on watching the constellations with me?" Kuno laughed as he approached, ignoring the pain in his gut. "You are a saucy little minx, aren't you?"

"And what gave you that idea?" Akane asked, very annoyed.

Kuno gave Ranma and Kenma the side-eye. "It would seem that a pair of serpents have crossed your path," he remarked. "Come, let us go elsewhere. We shall view the stars together, and craft memories that poets could only dream of!"

His advances were halted when Akane grabbed him by his left arm and bent it behind his back. "I thought I told you to knock it off!" she snapped, threatening to break it.

"Ow! Great heavens!" the upperclassman exclaimed.

"Try anything else, and you'll be a one-armed swordsman," the tomboy girl remarked.

"You, there!" called Mousse's voice from the rooftop. "How dare you attempt to interrupt a lovers' rendezvous!"

"We're not lovers, you dodo!" Ranma snapped back, as the nearsighted Chinese boy leapt down from his perch atop the roof.

"Yeah! So quit jumping to stupid conclusions!" added Akane.

"It would appear you have stumbled upon my secret relationship with Akane Tendo!" Kuno smiled, but that smile soon melted off when he felt Akane bending his arm back.

"I warned you this would happen!" she snapped.

The swordsman then let out a shriek of pure pain.

"Quick, you two!" Mousse called as he readied a grappling hook. "I'll handle him, while you two go off and elope! And while Kenma goes with you, I'll keep Shampoo company!"

"He must be kidding," scoffed Kenma dryly.

As Mousse threw his grappler, it was suddenly intercepted by a piece of wood that was thrown into its path and blocked it from its goal.

"The only one who's getting with Akane is me!" Ryoga declared.

And so, they all confronted each other in a standoff.

"How the hell am I the one always in the middle of this crap?!" Akane growled in anger at the growing headache brought on by three morons.

"This is getting complicated…" groaned Ranma.

"No, this is getting stupid," replied Kenma.

And so, the next day, Ranma and the others were doing chores around the temple.

"So how come we have to do this?" asked Ranma. "And why did I get stuck with the hardest job?"

"Well, mushrooms taste exceptional when you're hungry," explained Abbot. "And nothing stirs up an appetite like hard work. Also, my doctor advised me to take it easy for a few days, so two birds, one stone."

"Speaking of mushrooms, where's the mushroom man?" Kenma chimed in.

Suddenly, everyone heard a new voice. "The soul of the mushroom is the soul of the Earth," it said. "The mushroom lives to a hundred, the udo to 99. Pick it and leave a hole in the Earth…"

Glancing over, everyone saw a man with brown hair shaped like a mushroom cap squatting nearby, plucking mushrooms and throwing them into a big basket on his back as he sang to himself.

"Pick, pick, pick mushrooms…which will be the poison one?" he continued.

In no time at all, after the cleaning was done, the mushrooms were being cooked in a stew while everyone sat in a circle, waiting for the fungi to be finished cooking.

"Hmmm, looks like they're just about done." the picker said as he dished out the mushrooms in wooden bowls.

"Finally! I'm starvin'!" Ranma said as he took his bowl. "But are you sure these mushrooms aren't poisonous?"

"Nothing to worry about…see?" the picker replied as he took a bite.

"Awright, good enough for me!" Ranma beamed as he started in.

And everyone else followed suit, tucking into their mushroom bowls. "Thanks for the food!" they all said as they started eating…apart from Aki, that is, because he had a mushroom allergy.

Suddenly, the mushroom picker's face paled, and he fell over, much to everyone's shock.

"Is he okay?" Akane asked, before noticing Genma fall over.

"No, and I doubt he's okay, either!" Kenma replied, as Kuno, Mousse and Ryoga fell over. "Or them!"

"He must've eaten a poisonous mushroom," commented Abbot. "Even experts can make mistakes sometimes!"

"Yeah...and those mistakes can cost you BIG!" remarked Akimitsu.

"Well, on the bright side, let us be thankful I was not afflicted!" Abbot smiled.

Kuno picked up his bokken. "You contemptible—!" he exclaimed, before he suddenly collapsed on the floor.

Nabiki glanced over. "Hey, Kuno, you—" and then, she collapsed as well!

"Nabiki!" Kasumi gasped, and down she went.

Soun and Genma were caught in the throes of agony as well, and down they went.

Abbot felt Kasumi's forehead. "...this isn't good, she has a fever."

"Call a doctor!" Akane cried.

"No good; they won't come out this far," said Abbot. "On the hill in the back is a shrine that honors a gigantic mushroom. They say eating a piece of it can cure any poison."

"A cure-all, then?" asked Kenma. "Sounds like a mission!"

"C'mon!" Akane exclaimed as she sprang to her feet.

"You've got to make it before sundown!" advised Abbot. "Otherwise…it'll be far too late!"

"We'll be earlier than that!" called Akimitsu as he and the others raced off.

"Now, when he said to bring back mushroom antidote for the others, are you certain we have to cure Ryoga and Happosai and Genma and Kuno?" asked Kenma with a smirk.

"Let's hope we don't bring enough back for Happosai and go from there," Ranma stated as he thought it out.

SOME TIME LATER…

The mushroom picker soon regained consciousness.

"Are you alright, sir?" asked Abbot.

"Ah, I'm a mushroom man!" laughed the picker. "Livin' on the wild side is just how I roll! Now, these others will need some antidote. Luckily, I have plenty on hand."

And so he distributed it evenly amongst the others.

"Oh my! What in the world happened?" Kasumi asked as she rubbed her eyes.

And so, the mushroom man explained what had happened in the last half hour.

"WHAT?!" exclaimed Ryoga. "You mean Akane went off to find the cure to heal me?"

"Bite your tongue, cur!" Kuno remarked. "Akane Tendo went for the remedy to cure me!"

"Oh, no!" exclaimed the mushroom man, prompting everyone to turn and look. "I messed up badly."

"Is something the matter?" Kasumi asked.

"Your two friends ate these mushrooms!" the mushroom man replied.

"Surely you must be mistaken," insisted Abbot. "The two of them seemed healthy enough!"

"No, I definitely saw them eat," replied the picker. "You see, the variety they ate was 'Love Mushrooms'!"

"Love Mushrooms?" exclaimed the others.

"Yes, 'Love Mushrooms'. If a couple eats them, they'll fall madly in love with each other," explained the picker. "Even if that couple should normally despise each other."

"Saotome, old friend!" grinned Soun as he and Genma clasped hands. "It's in the bag!"

"Tendo, our ship has come in!" Genma crowed. "Then you can give that hockey kid the boot, and Ranma and Akane will be together, just like they're meant to be!"

"Love mushrooms, huh?" Nabiki asked. "I know at least several people who'd pay through the nose for something like that."

"It sounds so romantic!" Kasumi chirped.

"So messed up, is more like it!" the mushroom man exclaimed. "Imagine, you've spent most of your time despising a person…and then all of a sudden, you find yourself enamored with them, completely beyond your control!"

"WHAT'S THE CURE FOR LOVE MUSHROOM POISONING?!" shouted Ryoga, while Kuno got the man in a chokehold.

"You must go to the large sacred mushroom at the shrine on top of the mountain," the man exclaimed. "And get them to eat pieces of the mushroom raw! Otherwise, your friends will be deeply in love forever!"

"Then I've gotta find that mountain shrine!" called Ryoga.

"The madness must end!" howled Kuno, and then the both of them tore ass out the door.

…but if it's Ryoga leading them, don't expect to see them reach their destination anytime soon.

"COME BACK!" howled Mousse as he raced off. "Just leave them be! We could use a wedding around here!"

"They're not gonna get far." Nabiki sighed as she watched Ryoga, Kuno and Mousse run off.

"Why do you say that?" Kasumi asked curiously.

"Cause Ryoga just ran down the mountain," Nabiki deadpanned as she watched the trio of idiots go in the opposite direction.

Meanwhile, the quartet was continuing on their way towards the mushroom…although Ranma was suddenly holding Akane's hand. A sight like this made Kenma's eyebrows rise, and made Aki's heart jump in his throat.

"Is it just me, or are they acting weird?" asked Kenma. "I mean, weirder than normal."

Akimitsu glanced at him. "You mean why Akane's being so close with Ranma and not me? Yes," he replied before he realized what he'd just said. "Uh, I mean—"

Kenma put a hand up to stop his denial. "Dude, we all know at this point," he cut him off. "No reason to hide it, I have eyes."

Aki wiped his forehead in relief. "Oh, thank God," he replied. "But we gotta do something. Unless we get them back to normal, I have it on good authority that Mr. Tendo won't intend on letting me stay for much longer."

"Oh!" Kenma exclaimed. "...alright, I see what you're getting at."

After all, being an orphan, Aki didn't have much to contribute, and Mr. Tendo was probably convinced that he had nothing to bring to any union with Akane. Meanwhile, Ranma had the Saotome School, the legacy of the Saotomes, and—ah, hell, you've heard this all before. As if you REALLY give a damn by now!

Just then, the four of them heard shouting. As they turned around, they saw, running towards them, were Kuno, Mousse, and Ryoga.

"What're those guys goin' on about?" asked Ranma.

"I dunno, but they look like they've recovered!" Akane replied. "That's great!"

"Hey!" Ranma called. "How's Mr. Tendo and everyone else doin'? Don'cha need the mushroom antidote?"

"YOU GOTTA HURRY AND GET IT!" Ryoga called.

"AKANE TENDO, DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO ACQUIRE THE ANTIDOTE!" Kuno bellowed.

Kenma and Aki glanced at each other.

"...well, I'll be!" Kenma remarked. "I never imagined we'd be on the same page as THOSE two!"

"This day is just full of surprises," Aki replied.

"They must've been the only ones who recovered," mused Ranma. "We'd better hurry. Let's go, my pretty baby."

Akane gaped, awestruck at that.

"PRETTY BABY?!" Kenma and Aki exclaimed in unison.

"It's worse than we thought!" whispered Kenma. "We better step it up, pronto!"

Akane smiled at Ranma. "Sure thing, honey."

"Hey, guys!" Aki called, getting their attention. "...it'd be prudent if you were to taste the mushroom when you get to it! You know, make sure it actually works!"

"He's right," Kenma stated, knowing where Aki was going with what he said. "Gotta make sure the cure mushroom didn't go bad before going back to the temple."

"He does make a good point, dearest," Ranma replied. "Better safe than sorry, you know."

"Right!" Akane smiled. "Alright, guys, let's get to it!"

And so on they went, with our boys' fears quashed…at least, for now.

On the way, the trio happened upon a house with an elderly couple.

"So, you came up here from the temple?" asked the old man.

"That's right, sir," nodded Kenma. "You see, our friends and some other people got poisoned and we need the antidote to cure them."

"And if we don't get back home with it by sunset, they're all goners!" Akimitsu chimed in.

"Ah! That's a cryin' shame!" the old man responded. "To get to the temple, just go to the big pine tree and turn right, then keep going straight."

"Great!" Ranma said as he clutched Akane's hand again.

"Thanks a lot!" added Akane, as they headed off again, along with Aki and Kenma.

"Just look at them…so happy together," the old man observed.

"Indeed," replied his wife. "How about some peppermint tea, sweetie?"

"Sounds good, honey," smiled her husband.

EVENTUALLY…

The group had reached the mountaintop.

"Listen, babe…" began Ranma.

"Yeah, honey?" Akane asked.

"After we've gone back down the mountain…" Ranma started as he kept peeling off pieces of mushroom.

"Yeah, after we've gone back down?" urged Akane.

"Will you marry me?" Ranma asked.

"M-marry?" sputtered Akane.

Aki and Kenma, once again, shot each other very concerned looks.

"Let's go for it, Akane," replied Ranma. "Whaddya say?"

Akane's face went bright red, and she wrapped her arms around Ranma. "Oh, Ranma, I'd love that!" she gushed.

"For them it's wedding bells…" winced Aki. "But for me, it might as well be a funeral march!"

"That tears it," said Kenma. "If we're going to act, then we've got to act now!"

But before they could react, the doors to the temple flew open, revealing Mousse standing in the doorway.

"You'll stay here until the sun's gone down!" he instructed.

"Mousse?" asked Kenma. "What's the gag?"

"You don't have to worry, nobody's life is at risk!" insisted Mousse. "So just throw that mushroom a—"

KRA-KOOM!

The next thing Mousse knew, Ryoga's foot was planted squarely in the back of his head.

"Ryoga?!" exclaimed Ranma.

"Never thought I'd be so glad to see him!" Kenma added.

"Hurry and eat that mushroom, you two!" insisted Ryoga. "Before the poison spreads to the rest of your body, and the antidote has no effect!"

"But we both feel perfectly fine, Ryoga," Akane replied. "Why are you so adamant that we take the antidote?"

"Hang on, he's got a point there!" Aki chimed in. "Maybe the ones you ate are like a delayed-reaction poison!"

"Yeah, the kind that seems harmless at first, but when you're certain it won't even affect ya—BOOM!" Kenma exclaimed as he began imitating the motions he was describing, with great detail. "You're lyin' on the floor, foaming at the mouth, eyes buggin' outta your skull while you're seconds from death!"

"Ya know what, you're right," Ranma admitted. "Better safe than sorry."

Kenma sighed in relief. Maybe things would start looking up after all!

"ENOUGH DELAYING, RANMA SAOTOME!" bellowed Kuno as he came racing in with his bokken. "I shall ensure you take the remedy, even if I must force it down your throat myself!"

Kenma's relief turned to aggravation. "And while I'm asking for the impossible, I'd like a pony for my birthday," he muttered sarcastically.

"Ranma!" exclaimed Ryoga. "You've got to listen—"

But quick as a whip, the ponytailed boy scooped up Akane, and bounced off Kuno's face before he ran off.

"...you overstuffed, blustering IDIOT!" hissed Kenma. "Can't you do ANYTHING right?! We almost had them, and if you hadn't come blundering along everything could've been resolved peacefully!"

"I was merely providing them with some incentive to take the antidote!" exclaimed Kuno.

"Well, we had it covered before you came in, swinging that damn stick!" Kenma retorted. "I wonder, are you actually good for ANYTHING?! As in, BESIDES being a nuisance!"

"Forget it, he's not important!" Aki called. "We need to move, PRONTO!"

"Just a minute!" exclaimed Mousse as he stood up. "You won't be coming down that mountain, period! Once you're dealt with, Shampoo will be mine!"

Kenma gave a nod. "You know, you make a very compelling statement…" he murmured before he put his hands atop his head, palm-facing outward. "And here's my rebuttal: MASENKO-HA!"

Before Mousse could respond, a bright yellow beam shot out, and struck him, knocking him down the stairs. With that obstacle toppled, the boys got to their feet and scampered off in pursuit of their allies.

"What's gotten into them?" asked Akane.

"I don't know, but until we find out how everyone is, we can't afford to let go of these mushroom shavings!" Ranma replied.

Soon, the duo came to a river between two cliffs.

Ryoga arrived behind them. "You've got to eat that antidote, now!" he begged. "That poison could kick in at any second!"

"How do I know I can even trust you?" asked Ranma.

"That doesn't matter!" insisted Ryoga. "This is a matter of life and death, alright?!"

And then he was clocked in the head by a vacuum cleaner attachment…and down he went.

Mousse raced up right after him. "That was too close for comfort!" he exclaimed.

"Oh-kay, somebody better tell me what the hell's goin' on!" demanded Ranma. "Or I'm liable to get REALLY pissed off!"
"Look, all I want is for you two to be happy together!" Mousse admitted.

I also want Kenma's head on a pike and Shampoo to notice me, but hey; one step at a time.

"And to see you get married as soon as possible!" he blubbered.

"If that's the case, no need to worry," Ranma said, draping an arm around Akane. "We intend to get married once we reach the bottom of the mountain. Right, baby?"

"Oh, honey~" gushed Akane.

Overhead, Kenma, in the form of a giant roc [they're birds of prey in Middle Eastern mythology] with Akimitsu on his back, overheard the explanation. "Oh, brother," he scoffed. "We better get down there fast."

So, he went into a dip and flew lower. And he couldn't have picked a better time, since Mousse unleashed a chain claw and used it to entrap the duo.

"Hey, what's the big idea, bub?" Ranma shouted.

"I just need you two to stay here until sundown!" Mousse insisted.

"But Mousse—" Akane began, as the mushroom bag was plucked from her hands.

"You won't be needing THIS!" Mousse declared, as he wound his arm up, and pitched the bag over the edge.

Ranma's eyes widened in horror. "NO! WE STILL NEED THAT!" he cried. "Babe…" he looked at Akane.

"Hon…" Akane nodded.

And then the two of them strained, and stressed until—KRAK!—the chains broke!

Before Mousse could delay them further, they ran and leapt over the cliff, in pursuit of the bag.

As they tumbled through the air, Ranma caught the bag…and luckily, he and Akane were caught by Kenma.

"So nice of you to drop in," Aki commented.

"Aki?" asked Ranma, before glancing down at the bird. "Then that means…"

"That's right!" Kenma squawked. "We're heading back to the temple, air-delivery!"

"All-right!" Ranma exclaimed. "Didja hear that, sweetie-bean?"

"Did I ever, punkin-pie!" Akane gushed, moving in close to Ranma and squeezing his bicep.

Aki looked on with a forlorn expression, and sighed. Maybe Kasumi could convince Soun to let me stay for a little longer?...yeah, I'm definitely grasping at straws.

Once Kenma landed at the foot of the steps, he changed back to normal, and the group raced in.

At the front of the room was a big banner that read CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MARRIAGE!

And Soun, Genma, the mushroom man, Abbot, Nabiki and Kasumi were applauding.

"This has been a long time coming!" sobbed Soun, joyful.

"C'mon, you two; it's time to celebrate in the main hall!" Genma beamed as he stepped forward.

Akane and Ranma were surprised…and so were Aki and Kenma.

"You mean you're all okay?" exclaimed Akane.

"Sure looks that way to me," replied Aki.

Soon, everyone was gathered in the main hall, each of them sitting before a tray of food.

"What a terrific occasion!" Genma exclaimed, raising a cup full of sake.

Soun wiped the tears from his eyes. "I'm one proud papa!" he gushed.

Aki, meanwhile, couldn't bring himself to eat. He knew that this would most likely be one of the last full meals he'd ever have…but his heart ached too much. As far as he knew, he'd lost the love of his life through some magical mushroom mumbo-jumbo.

Nabiki glanced over at him, then to Akane. "...Akane, are you sure this is what you want?" she asked.

"Keep quiet, girl!" whispered Soun. "We're almost at the finish line!"

Akane looked confused. "What do you mean, Nabiki?" she asked.

"Guess I'll be calling you Big Sis from now on, huh, Nabiki?" smiled Ranma.

"Yeah, whatever; you were gonna call me that anyway, and you know why," Nabiki said as she strode over. "How about a little reality check?"

Soun winced. "They don't need any reality!" he insisted.

Kenma suddenly shook Aki's shoulder and pointed out what was going on.

"Go ahead and tell us, then!" chirped Akane.

Nabiki extended a hand. "That'll cost you ¥1,000, please~" she chirped.

Akane gladly paid in full.

"Thank you," Nabiki replied, sliding the dollar into her bra. "Now, the reason you two are so deeply in love is because you guys ate Love Mushrooms."

"Y'mean we're in love cuz of some poison mushrooms?" asked Ranma.

"Bingo, blue-eyes," Nabiki nodded. "It's not legit; just love potion."

"Our love's much more true than that, right, lambchop?" asked Akane.

"Of course not, honeybunch," replied Ranma. "In fact, we'll prove it."

"Yeah!" Akane nodded. "We'll eat that mushroom antidote and prove nothing will change between us!"

Nabiki just shot them a firm glare. "Don't be sure of anything when it comes to love," she warned them.

At that, Genma got to his feet with a sigh. "It's all over, baby," he remarked.

Soun got up next. "And we were so close this time, honey," he added. As the two men went to the side, both Ranma and Akane each ate the antidote.

A few seconds later, they were back to normal.

"AKANE! TAKE YER FILTHY HANDS OFFA ME!"

"I COULD SAY THE SAME TO YOU, BOZO! WHADDA YOU THINK YOU'RE DOIN'?!"

"I AIN'T THE ONE WHO DECIDED TO GET ALL TOUCHY-FEELY!"

"SURE, MAYBE IN YOUR DREAMS!"

"OKAY, BUT I'LL DREAM OF SOMETHING THINNER!"

Aki suddenly found himself pulled over to Akane's side. "This was supposed to be a fun day out for us all," she said. "But we barely got to spend time together."

"Well…it's no big deal, y'know?" Aki replied. "Better late than never."

Meanwhile, Kenma and Nabiki were watching the sky, which had just begun to darken.

"Well, whaddya know? The first star!" exclaimed the monkey boy. "I'd make one of those wishes…but I wouldn't know what to wish for."

Nabiki smirked. "I have some pretty good ideas," she replied.

"Do you EVER!" Kenma nodded. "It was pretty smart playing on their egos like that!"

"Hey, zonked out on love mushrooms or not, they've still got a shitload of pride," Nabiki told him.

"Maybe I might have to reward you for how you helped us out~" Kenma purred.

"In that case, I'll accept that in the form of a kiss," replied Nabiki. "Or several, in fact."

"Consider it done," Kenma said as he rolled up Nabiki's sleeve and started planting kisses along the length of her arm.

And where were Ryoga, Mousse and Kuno, I hear you asking? Well…

"AKANE! HURRY AND SWALLOW THE ANTIDOTE!"

"I IMPLORE YOU, DEAR AKANE! FREE YOURSELF FROM THIS WRETCHED HEX!"

"DON'T LISTEN TO THEM! YOU AND RANMA HAVE TO HURRY AND ELOPE!"

…late as usual, of course, and all the way at the bottom of the stairs.

Well, the course of true love never runs smoothly...but at least our heroes are back to the way they should be. And for a little while, everything is right with the world!

There! Consider this our way of apologizing, folks.
As of now, this is what canonically happened during the episode.

In the meantime, stay tuned for
ANYTHING GOES on a MYSTICAL ADVENTURE!

Our super-awesome DRAGON BALL crossover story!

See you in several!