Mr. Kobayashi's Dragon Maid
Warning: This fanfiction is a smut. If you're uncomfortable with frequent sexual themes and detailed lemon scenes, you may stop reading at any time, yadda yadda, I don't own Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid, coolkyousinnjya does, blah blah. If this is your kind of thing, then strap in and prepare for a semi-genderbent version of Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid.
Cover art done by me.
Story and concept by me and Night.
(I graduated from just doing the grammar to writing Tohru's dialogue! -Night)
Chapter 5: Green With NV
"Say, Tohru."
"Yes, Mr. Kobayashi?"
"Your scales in your dragon form, they appear green, don't they?"
"Why, yes. Why do you ask?"
"I always thought that red was the normal color of the scales of a fire dragon, so I find it a bit unusual that yours are green."
"Well, my father's scales are red, so perhaps I'm a rarity."
"Say, Mr. Kobayashi."
"Yes, Tohru?"
"The name of this chapter is quite strange, don't you think?"
"Why, yes. But that's only because the author needed a clever pun for the chapter title."
"What does NV even mean? Nevada?"
"It's supposed to be a double meaning for your jealous tendency and that time I contracted norovirus and started violently vomiting, metaphorically green in the face from sickness."
"Well, whatever works for him, I suppose."
"How are you feeling, Mr. Kobayashi? Do you need a blanket to warm you up?" Tohru whispered, placing a mug of water on the coffee table. I groaned, propping myself up ever so slowly. There existed no worse feeling, no experience worse than how I was feeling.
"If anything, I need the AC on... d-don't worry Tohru, it's just a-" I was cutoff mid-sentence by an awful cramp in my abdomen, causing me to curl up on the couch in pain, only allowing me to speak once it had subsided, "... just a cold, that's all..."
"I don't think this is a simple cold, because you seem to have stomach cramps and convulsions, and you're nearly green in the face... judging by your symptoms, it would seem that you have a bad case of norovirus, or at least what it's called on my world..."
Initially I lay with my wrist on my forehead, but sat up and stared at her upon the mention of the familiar term.
"You said… 'norovirus'?"
"Yes, but I don't know what humans would call that on Earth..."
"Tohru, norovirus- ssssss...!" A sharp abdominal pain cut me off, then allowed me to speak a moment later. "N-norovirus exists on Earth, seemingly as the same illness... I'm just surprised that it exists in both realms."
"Well, it couldn't have been from my world, otherwise you'd have been dead already. I couldn't forgive myself if it turned out that I'd brought it from my world."
"Well, then it's clearly from this world, but I still don't know how I could've possibly contracted norovirus if I hadn't come into contact with anyone in the past few months."
"Mm... it couldn't be my saliva on your clothes from doing the laundry, because my saliva purifies and cleanses..."
"Yeah... wait- what...?"
"Maybe it was that lady that sneezed in my direction the other day, perhaps I'd brought that home..."
"Wait, wait, wait... what was that about your saliva and the laundry?"
"Oh, that? It's nothing, I just wash your clothes in my mouth sometimes because my mouth produces a detoxifying antibacterial saliva-"
"You do what?! Tohru, that's gross! Think about if someone had to witness that!"
"But I do a good job with cleaning your clothes, don't I?"
"Whether or not that may be true, I don't feel clean if I know that I'm wearing a shirt that's been previously soaked in your saliva."
"Oh! Then, would you rather I lick you clean instead?"
I turned my head slightly to hide my blush. "T-Tohru, come on! No, don't lick me clean or wash my clothes in your mouth!"
"Fine, fine... I'm growing worried though, I will get you to a cleric immediately."
"Tohru, this isn't Dungeons and Dragons, there are no clerics here on Earth. You're thinking of a doctor, someone in a medical field."
"Yes, precisely! Someone who is skilled in the healing arts and can cure you with a revitalization spell."
"We don't have that either..."
"Now, I'm aware that I boast ample power," Tohru continued, "but I grow quite envious at the fact that I'm unable to cast healing magic." She pouted a bit, puffing her cheeks out.
I took a swig of water, pondering her last remark. "You seem to become easily jealous about a lot of things, don't you?"
"E-ehh...? What do you mean by that?"
"Like, a couple days ago you were all jealous because of my coworker going out with me to drink."
"How could I forget..." Tohru visibly grimaced at the mention of Maori.
"How could either of us? It was literally two days ago. I think..."
Cue the flashback.
If not for the clock upon the wall, the setting sun would indicate that the day was over. Spliced neatly by the window frames, the light of evening painted the office a warm golden hue.
"Unngh...!" Maori groaned while stretching. She had finished her portion long before me, but was waiting until I finished for the day so that we could get drinks after work, as we usually did on Fridays. In the meantime, she turned her chair towards me and began to stare at me. This I noticed from the corner of my eye.
"Can I help you?" I replied, not looking away from my monitor.
"You can, by buying us drinks."
"Why stop there? Might as well buy you a whole pack of beer. Why not take my wallet while you're at it?" I said, typing away.
"Fine, as long as you cover the next two times, I'll do tonight's."
"Why, that's more like it. What spurred the change of heart?"
"Don't get smart with me," she scoffed, leaning over to kick my seat.
"Patience, young one. Wait'll I at least finish my important stuff first before you begin assailing me."
"Don't you 'young one' me, I'm-"
"Yes, yes. I know, you're more formidable than you appear. We've established this numerous times, a recap is currently undesired. Now, I have a few minutes left; if you'd be so kind as to allow me to focus, it'd be much appreciated."
"Such a gentleman, how kind of you to put it in such a passive aggressive tone."
"Oh, would you rather I be an asshole about it, then?"
"Preferably."
"Then do us both a jolly old favor and fuck off, cuntbag, and take your bimbo-ass tits with you. How's that sound?"
"Splendid. I'll be waiting at the door," she scoffed, promptly turning and heading towards the door.
One would look at our relationship and wonder why we even sat next to each other at work, how we could stand to tolerate each other. One would wonder how we were even acquainted or befriended inn the first place. I then challenge that line of thinking with the notion that every relationship is different, and that's simply how Maori and I clique. Even if I never saw her as a potential romantic partner, I always regarded her as one of my most valued intellectual companions.
Others would call it good chemistry.
I had become so focused on work and conversing with Maori that the last thing I expected to see was Tohru waiting for me outside of work. She must've grown a little impatient because I'd gotten out at a later time, but the look on her face made her almost look like an angry wife than a maid. When she saw me walk out with Maori, she not only emanated, but absolutely fumed with envy.
"Say, Seiji..." Maori subtly gestured to Tohru staring at us, nudging my elbow. I hated when she did that, because having done it so often created a phantom nudge.
"Yes, I see her. Don't fret, she's hostile."
"Like that's any better. Moreover, you know her?"
"Yeah, but she's only hostile to everyone aside from me..."
"That wasn't my question!" started Maori, but I signaled for her to cease conversation as we drew closer to Tohru.
"Hi Mr. Kobayashi!~" beamed Tohru. "Who's your friend?"
If I was a typical main protagonist, at this point I would've said something along the lines of, 'It was as if, subtly, I could detect a hint of hostility in the way she said friend, but I couldn't be sure.' But something I hate about being the main protagonist is being expected to fit the 'oblivious idiot' trope. You won't get any of that shit from me.
Plus, we already used the word "hostile" in our dialogue twice before. Repetition ≠ a good story.
"Tohru, this is my coworker, Maori. Maori, Tohru." I gestured from Maori to Tohru as I spoke.
"Pleased to meet you Tohru, I'm Maori Takiya. And you are Seiji's...?"
"I'm Mr. Kobayashi's loving housewi-"
"She's a daughter of a relative I'm taking care of, and I've been watching over her for a few days now," I interrupted, while the comically large arrow labeled "relative" in hiragana metaphorically impaled Tohru, Sephiroth style.
"Oh, I see! That's awfully kind of you. (Say, we're gonna pretend that we had no idea what she was about to say, right?)"
"Yeah, she needs a place to stay while she works in the city. (Yeah, just ignore it. She tends to be like that.)"
Tohru tilted her head, but eventually understood what I meant and nodded slowly.
"Shall we head home then, Mr. Kobayashi?"
"Well, Maori and I were going for a drink after work, as we usually do on Fridays. Do you wanna come along with us?"
"Oh, yes! I'd love to come with you, Mr Kobayashi!"
"Is she even old enough to drink? She barely looks over 20," said Maori.
"Grr... lady, of course I'm old enough! I'm a dragon for crying out loud, I'm over 6,900 years old! Don't get your pantsu in a wad, stupid!"
"Ah, so that's what you're dressed as! I couldn't tell what you were trying to go for with that cosplay at first glance! A dragon maid, love it."
"C-cosplay...? Excuse me?!"
"Alright, alright, why don't we head to the restaurant before anything happens? Cool, I'm glad we could come to a consensus."
XXX
"Ahh! I love me a good drink after work..." I sighed, buzzed by the minute. By this point, Maori and I had already had quite a few drinks, enough to make us ramble on about nonsense unknowingly.
"Fridays are the best, not gonna lie!" said Maori, taking a swig of beer. "Sorry if you can't understand what we're talking about, Tohru. We can talk about something similar, if you'd like. You know, just to be a part of our conversation?"
"Hmph, I'm fine by myself! I only agreed to go because Mr. Kobayashi was coming! I didn't come to talk to you," she retorted. "At least talk about something interesting, like Ragnarok..."
"You're into Marvel stuff too? Sweet, that's surprising, since you didn't initially seem like the type."
"No, Maori... she doesn't mean Thor: Ragnarok, she means the actual Ragnarok, like, the literal end of the universe," I said.
"I'd hoped not at first... I'm not in the mood to for an existential crisis," she scoffed, taking another swig of her beer.
Tohru shyly looked down, as if mustering up the courage to ask her next question.
"What... well... n-not that I care, you know, like, what you say, but um... speaking of types... how did I come off, like, initially?"
"Well, I'll tell ya... at first glance I was a little confused. I thought, when you were waiting outside for Seiji, that you were his girlfriend!"
"Wait, w-what...?" I stammered.
"Yeah, Seiji. I thought that you'd gotten yourself a partner." continued Maori. "If I didn't know any better, I would've thought you two had the hots for each other."
Tohru and I looked at each other, blushing.
"Not that that's a bad thing... you two would have some good looking babies together... surprised you two haven't already gone and had sex as we speak..." Maori drunkenly mumbled, unaware of the situation she just put us in. Both Tohru and I turned our heads away from each other, each of us red in the face, and not even from the alcohol either. Meanwhile, Maori obliviously took another swig of beer.
"What...? What's the mat-" Maori, in the middle of taking a sip, lowered her glass to look at both of us, suddenly covering her mouth in realization.
"...oh..."
...
"Oh."
...
"I-I'm so sor-sorry," muttered Maori.
...
Tohru giggled nervously to possibly ease any awkwardness, but what was said was said. The sexual tension in the air became so thick that it was like sitting in a steam bath.
I could feel the heat blazing from my face. At this point, it was hard to tell whether it came from the alcohol or arousal. Either way, I couldn't think straight. Every second, the thumping of my chest grew ever louder, the throbbing of my face more forceful. My eyes settled on Tohru, as I moved a bit closer to her. It was hard to explain, but it was as if she had some sort of gravity... some intangible force could've been pulling or pushing me, either way in her direction. All the while, Tohru made no effort to back away from me. Oh, but she wanted this to happen...
...
She wanted me to move closer, hungry half-closed eyes filled with nothing but lust...
Maori cleared her throat, breaking the silence. "Say, I... have to use the bathroom. I'll be back in a bit..." Not once did she glance back as she stood up and left the room.
As Maori left the room, I turned to Tohru and grinned smugly.
"Hey there-*hic*-cutie... d'ye comeroundhere offen...?" I mumble-slurred, sneaking a hand on her luscious thigh.
"Ah! M-Mr. Kobayashi...!"
Slowly, I crawled a bit closer. "Callmme Sey-jee, darlin'..."
"M-Mr. Kobayashi, that would be im-p-proper...!" she stuttered, her face hot and rose red.
"Ohh, you maidsss... alwayse soooo... rule-oriented... whey naut se'el doun an' re'aux ye'self, lassie? (why not settle down and relax yourself, lassie?)" The precarious hand on her thigh innocently wandered further inward, earning me a soft moan as her legs instinctively closed.
"Mm, baby... take that dress off..." I drunkenly muttered, feeling her up underneath her dress. At my touch, her body tensed up.
"O-ohh... y-yes, Mr. Kobayashi... ohhh...~" Tohru bit her bottom lip, stripping naked and covering both of her breasts and crossing her legs.
"Tohhruuu..." I growled gently in her ear, making her visibly shiver. A cute, horny sigh escaped her lips... her pillow soft lips.
"Nngh..." slowly but surely, she began to loosen up and eased into my touch, pressing her lips to mine and throwing her arms around my shoulders in a passionate embrace. Tongues meeting, tasting each other's essence, hands exploring and feeling the other up... it reminded me of the first time we met; what was a month seemed like ages ago.
No longer did she resist the urge to hold back, and I knew the exact moment when. Our lips separated sloppily and wet, and finally I let my hands explore freely, touching her everywhere she wanted me to, from her back, to her luscious round rump, squeezing her soft breasts and thumbing her nipples (which seemed to be one of her sensitive spots, based on her sharp inhale upon running my rough thumbs over them), then her tight waist and, by contrast, her curvaceous hips and legs. Meanwhile, my tongue and lips never ceased; kissing her cheeks, licking her ears, nibbling down on her neck like a pervy vampire. Tohru finally reached her breaking point, willingly losing herself to lust, allowing ecstasy to overpower her, letting arousal pin her against the wall of no escape, no escape from her primal urges. Without any warning, Tohru reached down for my already-hard member, stroking and gently squeezing, then pushing me down, all at once.
"Aahhn... awhh, jeez... fuck..." My head fell back to the floor, a sharp tingling shiver of pleasure rippling through my entire soul as she gripped my shaft, slowly stroking up and down, twirling her long, wet tongue on my sensitive tip. After a few minutes of teasing me, i.e. running her mouth up and down the length of my cock, licking and sucking on my balls, slurping her tongue lovingly all over and lubricating my member, she proceeded to stick a few inches in and tease me further still by hardly sucking on the few inches, slapping my dick onto her mouth and making a hollow, wet popping noise before taking my whole manhood in through her smooth lips, sucking her cheeks in and engulfing my meat in warm, moist flesh. Rhythmically, she began to bob her head up and down, before grabbing the base of my shaft and aiming it diagonally downward, shifting back and forth at a quicker pace, making me squirm and moan in pure pleasure.
"Mmmn?~ Fhaaa... You like that, Mr. Kobayashi?" I could barely speak, because my moaning took the place of any coherent speech. All I could do was nod vigorously as she took my length back into her mouth, wildly pumping her head up and down even faster than before.
"Ahhh, Tohru... I-I gonna cum... ohhh my god..." was all I could manage to squeeze out to warn her of my coming orgasm, to which she closed her mouth around my tip, licking and tonguing my slit, rapidly jerking her hand up and down the shaft.
"Ohmygod, ohhh... I'm cumming... ghaaa, Tohruu..." As I came in her mouth, the whole room spun and did, not just a 360, but a 720, and then inverted and flipped in on itself and transcended into the fourth dimension, all in a constant state of ecstasy.
Everything was hazy afterwards. Eventually I fell asleep, though I know not when.
The two of us walked out of the restaurant, Tohru carrying a sleeping Seiji on her back.
"What a wild night, huh? I never would've guessed that you would actually be his maid, let alone him actually having the hots for you..."
"..." Tohru said nothing, only continuing to walk forward.
"Yeah..."
"..."
"..."
we walked.
"..."
"..."
crickets chirped.
...
...
winds whispered.
...
...
Eventually, through the intense silence, I plucked up the courage to break through it and attempt to make amends.
"S-so..."
"..."
Great. Either she intended to make this awkward, or I shouldn't have opened my mouth. But I continued to speak, whether or not she listened.
"Listen... I know you may not think too highly of me, but I just want you to know that... I do my best to help Seiji in any way possible. I mean no ill will toward anyone."
More silence.
"E-especially not him."
"..."
"I never knew that he had a mistress, or lover..." I paused briefly, then continued. "...or anything for that matter. It's just that..."
She halted, then turned to face me. Not with a look of malice, not even anger. Just simple unhappiness, like a disappointed parent.
"I dunno... I just never expected that to come out of Seiji tonight. N-no pun intended..." I admit it... I didn't want to interrupt their little "session", and I simply waited outside the room, watching. I felt like a pervert or a creep for watching like that, but there was something about watching Seiji bust a huge load that made me a shade jealous... that I wasn't on her level. It was almost as if... something was wrong with me.
Tohru looked to the side momentarily, then at Seiji.
"I guess people have their own sides to them, huh? It seems like people have at least two sides, and I realize that he's no different."
"You simply... just don't know how to stop talking, do you?"
"Well, you must have two sides too? ... you can't be any different from us, right?"
"... very well..." sighed the exasperated girl, outstretching her arm. "I suppose I'll show you... just to shut you up..." In a flash of light, I saw the maid that once stood before me glowing brilliantly, changing form into a massive, green, 20 meter tall dragon. One look at the absolute behemoth of a creature, and I began to shake in my boots, literally.
"Well then," a mutter escaped my quivering lips, "I seem to not only have had a bit too much, but perhaps the wrong kind... cripes, might I be fucking high?"
"Let's you and me be very clear about this, Mae-yor-ee," growled the three-story tall dragon in a husky girl's voice. No more sing-song like tones, no Ella Fitzgerald, rather, quite similar to that of a yakuza. "Let us be certain and crystal-ball clear. I don't like you. In fact, you are positively detestable. More specifically, as a dragon, I could crush you where you stand. I could open a doorway to the literal gates of hell beneath you if I so desired. But from one female to another, regardless of species..." turning her reptilian neck away for a moment, she glanced up at the looming gibbous moon as if recalling or (reluctantly) controlling her temper, "... heed my warning, and remember it well: lest Mr. Kobayashi say otherwise, you will stay away from him as I live and breathe."
Being of not so sound mind, I unwisely challenged her warning: "And how would you find it, if by his decision he allowed me to... socialize with him?" She, however, evaded my question with a brief silence, then following up with a smoke-expelled snort before concluding with a ghastly threat:
"Anything done against his will, I would find the perpetrator... delectable."
I found myself spared, with a death threat and a shiver down my back as I watched the dragon maiden and Seiji soar away into the moonlit expanse.
"Another I haven't a chance with, eh?" I sighed, lighting a cigarette.
Drag...
...
Fhuu...
"What will it take for poor Maori, then?" I muttered, turning in the opposite direction.
With every step, the walk home was more like a procession. A procession of regression, over obsession of possession. What seemed to fall into the lap of millions before averted mine, for the one thing I so desperately desired was ever unreachable.
.
.
.
But that night, I rummaged through the bathroom, searching for Pepto or Tylenol or any antacid/painkiller to possibly quell my illness…
Confront, pt. 3
T - So, in the previous chapter, you briefly touched on the subject of veganism. Why did you decide to leave that part in? Are you trying to appeal to a possibly larger audience, such as when you vaguely touched on LGBTQ and homophobia in our first interview?
B - In terms of my view on veganism, I don't really know much about it to support or refuse it. I'm not vegan, but I only left that part in to try and imagine what the mindset of a vegan is like, and provide an explanation for why Kobayashi refused to eat Tohru's tail. Also, I didn't touch on homophobia, you did. You accused me of being homophobic because I made Kobayashi a male and therefore you assumed that I preferred a straight relationship over the original story's lesbian theme, which is not true. We went over this, remember?
T - Yes, but are you possibly trying to appeal to a larger audience by mentioning these topics?
B - A larger audience isn't necessarily what I seek. Hell, I never expected this story to get even 20 followers, yet here I am at over 70. (And I thought 50 was a big number, jeez.) However, I mostly just write these stories for myself as to measure the improvement of my writing ability and to also subject my endocrinal stimuli to autogenic noradrenaline-initiated media.
T - I'm sorry, endo- auto- what...?
B - In scientific terms, I write the lemony parts when I get "excited".
TBC...