CHAPTER 58

"So, are we just supposed to sit here?" I ask some twenty minutes of silence later.

Snape nods. "Professor Dumbledore has called for the Order already. There's not much else we can do." He then begins writing on some papers on his desk.

I watch him closely, but it seems that he has nothing else to say on the subject. I don't even know what I'm supposed to be doing when and if the Death Eaters arrive. I know he once said that I'd have to stay here but . . . will the Death Eaters try to come down here to the dungeons? Will my friends be safe? Will the Death Eaters even make it into the castle tonight, or is Snape just worried at the possibility because something doesn't feel right to him?

As much as I want Draco to make it out of this thing alive, I don't want the Death Eaters here this soon. I'm not prepared for their arrival, and it's unlikely Draco is ready either. My breathing quickens. "Where is Professor McGonagall?" I ask suddenly, my chest tightening.

"Where else besides in her office?"

"Should—could—can I go warn her?"

Snape places his quill down. "Why would you want to do that?"

"Well, if—if the Death Eaters—if they're coming tonight, she's not safe! No one is safe! Shouldn't she at least be warned?"

"Professor McGonagall is perfectly capable of taking care of herself," he says. "And in any case, she's part of the Order and has, therefore, been warned already."

"But—"

"I'm sorry, but I cannot allow you to go searching for her."

"Last time she needed help, you weren't there! Do you really expect her to be able to fend off a horde of angry Death Eaters?"

Snape sighs. "I cannot leave you. I must keep you safe."

"I'M NEVER GOING TO BE SAFE!" I roar, standing to my feet and slamming my hand on his desk. "Don't you get that? So long as Voldemort is alive, I will never be safe!"

"Charlotte—"

"NO! I WON'T LOSE HER TOO! I can't lose her too!" I start for the door, but by the time I get there, Snape has thrown a spell over the door to prevent me from leaving. I rest my head against the wood and close my eyes. I can't lose her too. Tears well up in my eyes despite my best effort to hold them back. "Don't do this, Professor, please. Please don't do this."

"She'll be fine," he assures me softly. "She's a very talented witch."

"But so are the Death Eaters," I whisper.

A hand comes to a rest on my shoulder. "Have a seat, Charlotte. Minerva McGonagall is more than capable of taking care of herself." I pry myself off the door and let him lead me back to the chair in front of his desk. "And if anything happens to her, you will be allowed to hex me, curse me, jinx me, or attempt to kill me. I doubt I'll care either way."

I jerk away from him. "Doing any of those things to you won't bring her back if she's killed."

I remove my wand from my robes and turn it over in my hand. Not knowing how long it'll take for Dumbledore and Harry to return, I suddenly find myself wishing to escape to Hogsmeade and warn Zoe that Death Eaters are going to be so close to her in such a short amount of time. I don't want anything to happen to her.

But if she stays in Hogsmeade and away from Hogwarts altogether, she should be fine. At least that's what I hope. "Will people in Hogsmeade be safe?"

"I see no reason for the Death Eaters to go to the village."

"Are you sure?"

"You doubt me?"

Of course not. I sigh and lean back in my chair before throwing my feet up on his desk. He scowls at me but says nothing, and I stay that way, my feet resting on his desk and my hands fiddling with my wand, for about thirty minutes before I hear, "Things are going to happen tonight, Charlotte."

"Yeah, I believe you said they might."

"I know what I said." I pull my legs down and look back at him, his intense tone sending fear down my spine. "I lied to you because I couldn't have you panicking about this earlier. Professor McGonagall is safe and part of the Order, which is on the alert in case they all need to be here. The Death Eaters are coming tonight. I've already received word."

"Why would you—"

"And all you need to know is that this has been planned for a while, and the wizard in control knows exactly what will happen."

"You've said that before, but that doesn't make any sense, Professor. Who's in control? I need to know before—"

"Hush," he says, his voice now urgent, his eyes wider than normal as they look somewhere in the distance. Then he stands suddenly and comes around his desk and places his hands on my shoulders to look directly into my face. "Listen to me, Charlotte, it's happening." He pulls me to my feet and must see the terror on my face, for he continues, "The Death Eaters are here, and I must keep up appearances. I trust you know that."

"I—"

"Stop talking and listen. I need you to cast the Disillusionment Charm over yourself, understand? Cast it now." I wave my wand over myself like I'm wrapping myself with rope, and my body disappears. "Stay hidden until I return, as we agreed."

"What? No, I never agreed to—"

Snape's door flies open, and Professor Flitwick calls from the doorway, panicked, "Severus! Death Eaters! In the castle! Come quickly!"

Snape glances over at me before red light shoots from his wand, hitting Flitwick square in the chest. The tiny professor falls onto his back, unconscious. "I need you to trust me."

"I do trust you."

"And know that the wizard in charge has everything planned."

"That's unhelpful!"

"Stay here."

Snape dashes from his office, and I ignore his orders, instead following as closely as possible, almost running into Hermione and Luna who are both standing outside Snape's office. "Professor Flitwick collapsed," Snape lies to the two of them. "Go take care of him. I need to help protect the castle."

"You just lied to them!" I hiss at him once we're far enough away I'm sure they won't hear me.

"I told you to stay in my office!"

"And not try to help?"

He huffs. "Stay close to me. Do not take off the charm until I say that it's safe. Speak to no one." With that, Snape begins running, and I sprint after him as we make our way through the corridors and out of the dungeons. Snape glances back in my direction and says, "Use the Shield Charm. There might be some curses flying around that could kill you."

"Yes, sir," I say quietly.

I continue following Snape in the direction I vaguely recognize to be toward the Astronomy Tower. We turn the corner and enter a war zone of students and Death Eaters and Order members. Flashes of different colors fly around the room like indoor fireworks, lighting up the room momentarily before plunging it back into relative darkness—one spell smacks the shield that is currently doing its best to protect me. Only the colors from the spells and the few torches lit in the corridor give the room any light, and it's hardly enough to see properly. Shadows dance around the corridor, up the walls and across the floor, adding another level of difficulty in differentiating who's fighting against the Death Eaters and who is a Death Eater. All I see are assailants, and I'm caught almost in the middle.

Only one thing is certain to me right now: my mother is attacking everyone with a broad smile on her face.

The room echoes with shouted spells and grunts of pain and calls for help, the sound of bodies hitting the floor and ramming into one another, the sound of heavy breathing as people struggle to defend themselves. I jump over the body of a fallen Death Eater while trying to stay close to Snape and just manage to dodge another stray spell. A few Death Eaters, including my mother and Snape, start toward the Astronomy Tower, and that's when I hear Snape say, "You cannot follow me now. Protect everyone you can. When I return, I need you—"

A loud bang, followed by a roar of pain, drowns out his quiet command, but I can't ask him anything else because he's already gone.

I jump to the wall and begin throwing up shields wherever possible. I Conjure a chair to take the Killing Curse some Death Eater cast at some student from behind. Then Fenrir Greyback plows me over and knocks me to the floor as he rushes toward Bill Weasley, his massive figure diving on top of the Weasley with very little effort. My breathing becomes ragged, my body trembling. I aim my wand at the werewolf and fire the Impediment Jinx at him, throwing him off Bill, but Bill continues lying there, unmoving, blood gushing from the slashes across his face.

Shaking, admittedly terrified, I push against the wall and struggle to my feet before casting another shield, this one to stop a Stunning Spell from hitting McGonagall who is too busy taking down another Death Eater to watch her back. Her current foe isn't even flat on the stone floor before she knocks another one out. Perhaps Snape was right about her being fully capable of protecting herself. Not that I should've questioned it in the first place.

I dive to the other side of the corridor to dodge a green spell and see Tonks being bombarded by two Death Eaters. No longer caring what must be done to save my friends, I pull myself to my feet and cast the Killing Curse, hitting one of the Death Eaters in the chest, which distracts his partner long enough for Tonks to fight him off.

A flash of light streaks toward me and strikes the torch just above me. It groans for a second, then comes down on top of me—it tears through my robes and gashes my skin, burning my back and shoulders as it falls to the floor and the flame catches me. I let out a shriek hopefully no one heard over the raging battle around me. The smell of cooked meat turns my stomach, and I drop to my knees, trying to breathe evenly to stifle the agony. In that moment, from the Astronomy Tower emerge Snape, two Death Eaters I do not know, my mother, and Draco. I inhale deeply, then push to my feet and stumble to Snape, grabbing his arm as soon as he's within reach. "Help me, my back," I groan.

He lowers his voice and says, "Remove the charm and—"

"Crucio—Crucio—" someone shouts at Ginny, "you can't dance forever, pretty—"

"Impedimenta!" Harry yells, now rushing out of the Astronomy Tower.

I remove the Disillusionment Charm, and Snape manages to cast a spell that reduces my pain just before Bellatrix seizes my arm and drags me along with her. I turn and throw a few more shields over my friends.

"Take that!" McGonagall shouts. She catches my eye, and I see her mouth my name, but she is unable to follow me as my mother pulls me through the corridors.

I jerk away from Bellatrix for a moment, and she notices the blood on my shoulder from the torch. "What's happened?" I ask her. Several terrified students cower against the walls and in the corners. Glass shatters behind me, and I look back to see the Gryffindor hourglass crumble, the rubies all spilling onto the floor as if Hogwarts itself is bleeding.

A crazed smile crosses her face, her grip on me tightening. "Dumbledore is dead!"

"What? Did Draco—"

"No, it was Snape!"

Snape? How . . . how could this be? Snape . . . Dumbledore trusted him. I trusted him. I thought he was loyal to Dumbledore! He's played me for a fool this whole time! He's been lying to me for months! My eyes fill with tears of indignation and fury.

"Aurelia, come!" Bellatrix pulls me along with her, and until that moment I hadn't realized I had stopped moving.

Snape . . . how can he do this? Why would he do this? Was I wrong about Lily Potter this whole time? Was I wrong about everything? Was I wrong to put my faith in him?

My mother casts a shield around the two of us as we reach the entrance hall and step onto the soft earth outside the castle. We start toward Hagrid's cabin, and even though I've never cared that much about Hagrid because I hardly know him, a strong fear erupts in my chest. Not Hagrid . . . they can't kill Hagrid. He's never been anything but kind.

I jerk my head back to see Harry following us. "Stupefy!" he shouts. That's when I see the Dark Mark, Voldemort's sign, in the sky over the Astronomy Tower. It's true. Dumbledore is dead . . . Mum wasn't lying to me.

"Run, Draco!" Snape shouts, then turns around, both he and Harry raising their wands simultaneously, and my heart rips from my chest. I shouldn't want Snape to make it out of this alive, yet here I am, wishing for the man who betrayed me to still live. He killed Dumbledore. He lied to me for months. And yet I don't want to see him die. What's wrong with me?

A Death Eater behind Harry shouts, "Incendio!" An explosive bang shakes the ground beneath me, and Hagrid's cabin erupts in orange flames. "Fang's in there, yer evil—!"

"Cruc—"

Snape deflects Harry's attack. He deserves to die. That's all there is to it. So why do I want him to live?

"Cruc—"

Snape parries the curse again. "No Unforgiveable Curses from you, Potter!" Snape shouts. "You haven't the nerve or the ability—"

"Incarc—"

Snape blocks the curse again with a lazy flick of his wand.

"Fight back!" Harry bellows. "Fight back, you cowardly—"

"Coward, did you call me, Potter?" Snape sneers. "Your father would never attack me unless it was four on one, what would you call him, I wonder?"

"Stupe—"

"Blocked again and again and again until you learn to keep your mouth shut and you mind closed, Potter!" Snape screams.

"Kill him, Harry!" I find myself shouting, overcome with anger that he's betrayed everyone like this. Fuck my loyalty to him. He's not loyal to anyone but Voldemort, and as much as it's going to hurt, I want him to die and I want to see it happen.

"Aurelia!" Bellatrix scolds me. "Snape killed Dumbledore, Snape is loyal to the Dark Lord. I was wrong."

"Now, come!" Snape orders a Death Eater who is lagging behind. "It is time to be gone, before the Ministry turns up—"

"Come, Aurelia," Bellatrix instructs me, grabbing me and forcibly Apparating with me.

I fall to the floor in the drawing room of Malfoy Manor, Voldemort standing just a few feet from me, waiting with a scowl on his face despite the triumphant whoops and hollers from the Death Eaters. Draco looks over at me in horror. Snape appears moments later, and I scramble to my feet and lunge at him, but a spell from behind me catches me and freezes me mid-tackle—the sudden stop sends a sharp shock of pain through me from the not-quite-healed injury down my back, and I gasp. Snape deserves to die. I snarl at him, screaming incoherently at the pain on my back and in my chest, preparing myself to rip out his throat if necessary. Voldemort steps between Snape and me as he commands everyone to leave the room, his eyes falling on my mother and me and adding, "Except for you two."

My heart plummets, and the rage drains right out of me, only to be quickly replaced by fear and sorrow. Why would he want only me and my mother to stay behind? Draco offers me a look of compassion before he leaves the room. The spell releases me, and I drop to the floor with a groan of pain. I watch Voldemort and Bellatrix from my spot on the floor.

His glare never leaves her face as the other Death Eaters retreat from the room. "Why is she here, Bella?"

"My Lord, I—"

"You could have exposed her, Bellatrix!"

My mother flinches, and I have to wonder if that's the first time he's called her by her real name. And if it's not the first time, how long has it been since he called her that? And is it usually followed by some sort of punishment?

"Why did you bring her here?"

"My Lord, I . . . I thought it would be safer for her here. I thought you would want her to be safe," she says quietly.

"Did I tell you to bring her here?"

"No, my Lord, you—"

"I didn't! And yet you brought her, nevertheless. Why is that, Bellatrix?"

She flinches again, like it physically hurts her to hear him call her "Bellatrix" rather than "Bella." I want to say something to her but can't bring myself to speak right now at all. "I thought you wanted her—"

"Such lies," he hisses, causing her to flinch yet again, "and from my best lieutenant, no less."

"My Lord—"

Voldemort speaks softer when he says, "Do you not remember what happened the last time your affections for your daughter overshadowed your loyalty to me?"

"My Lord," Bellatrix pleads, tears already in her eyes. I pull myself to my feet, but Voldemort doesn't pay any attention to my movements at all.

He says calmly, "No, Bellatrix." Another flinch. "Answer me. What happened the last time your affections for your daughter outgrew your loyalty to me?"

My mother shakes her head, still on her knees before him. "My Lord, please."

"Answer me!"

"You took her from me, my Lord." I start to back away, fear gripping my chest. I can't breathe.

He smiles, his red eyes full of cruelty and joy. "I took her from you—dear one, where are you going?" Suddenly, I can no longer move. "But now she cannot be hidden from you as she was before. Now you know your daughter lives, and if I take her from you now, you will never cease searching for her. I offer you a choice, Bella."

Her eyes soften.

"You once chose your daughter over me, and now that she is back, I believe you might choose her over me once more. It is time for you to prove where your loyalties truly lie." He glances at me, then focuses back on my mother. "You are my most proficient combatant in the art of the Cruciatus Curse." I take a short, quiet breath. "Now you must choose on which of us to display your skill." Her mouth opens to protest, her face paling, but Voldemort continues before she has the chance to say anything, "Fear not, Bella, no harm shall befall you, no matter which of us you choose."

"My Lord—"

"Choose."

I look between Voldemort and Bellatrix.

"Mum, please don't do this, I love you!"

My mother closes her eyes and purses her lips, then stands to her feet. When she opens her eyes once more, the tears are gone, replaced by cold resolve. Then she raises her wand, and I close my eyes, silently pleading that she not attack me.

"Crucio!"

Every inch of my body erupts in pain, and I collapse to the floor, screaming out mindlessly, my body flailing viciously as it tries to escape the excruciating burn that has consumed me. My throat feels as if it's ripping open from this high-pitched shriek coming out of me. Darkness floods my vision, tears stream down my face, my breathing becomes labored. Somehow, I manage to cry, "Please!"

And the pain immediately leaves.

I try to catch my breath; then the Dark Lord's chilly voice washes over me. "Did I tell you to cease the curse?"

"My Lord—"

"I did not give you permission to stop."

I immediately begin sobbing, snot running down my face, my chest caving in. "Please."

"Continue."

"My Lord—"

"Continue, Bella."

"Crucio!"

My body is ablaze with pain again, all of it coursing through my veins. My eyes pound against their sockets, threatening to pop out of my head altogether. My skull is splitting in two. My vision fails me, leaving me blind in this torture, and all I can do is scream mindlessly. "PLEASE!" I manage to screech once again before sobs take over and I begin vomiting. Unlike last time, the pain does not stop with my pleas, and I begin hoping for death. My skin is peeling back from my bone like a banana. In my uncontrolled flailing, I slam my face against the floor, and something wet and sticky spills from my nostrils. Warm liquid streams from my eyes, and my screams become so loud, so rough, that the taste of iron fills my mouth as if my throat has finally been ripped.

What feels like hours later, the Dark Lord finally says, "Enough."

I gasp for air, then vomit again and collapse on my back beside my mess. Wiping my mouth with the back of my shaking hand, wheezing, I pry my eyes open to find the Dark Lord staring down at me, his eyes hard and unyielding. With what little energy left in my body, my legs push me away from him, sliding me across the floor and getting a blessed few armlengths away from him and turn my face aside to hide my tears. This doesn't stop him, of course—he simply follows me, then crouches down beside me and touches my cheek. Then he grabs my chin and forces me to look at him directly. "Remember this, Charlotte. Your mother is mine. You cannot take her from me." He glances up at Bellatrix and releases me, then stands to his full height. "Send her back to Hogwarts."

I pull my knees to my chest and watch as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named Disapparates. "Aurelia!" Bellatrix cries the moment the Dark Lord is gone. She rushes toward me, tears trickling down her cheeks. "I had no choice!"

"Stay away from me!" I squeal hoarsely, trying to push her away from me with my shaking arms. "Get back! Don't fucking touch me!" I slide away quickly, trying to do anything to keep some distance between the two of us. "I loved you!" I've been betrayed twice today, and in two bitterly disturbing ways: Snape killed Dumbledore and ruined any chance of me escaping the Dark Lord, and my mother Cruciated me for nearly seven minutes.

"Aurelia, please," Bellatrix tries again. "What would you have had me do?" She reaches down and puts her hand on my leg.

"Don't touch me, don't you dare fucking touch me!" I weep, kicking out at her. Bellatrix jerks her hand back as if she has just touched live coal. "Don't touch me."

"Aurelia, I love you. You know I wouldn't have—"

"Get away from me, you evil bitch!" I sob.

She takes a few steps back. "Aurelia, you have to trust me."

"Trust you!" I shout, tears flowing down my cheeks. "TRUST YOU? AFTER WHAT YOU'VE JUST DONE TO ME?"

"Aurelia, you know I had no choice!"

"I'm not Aurelia, I'm Charlotte! Stay the hell away from me!"

"Aurelia—"

"Put your wand down!" I cry, flinching away from her. "I can't trust you!"

"You're injured; let me help you."

"Put it down!"

It looks like she wants to argue, but then she slowly sets her wand on the floor and raises her hands. "I won't hurt you. You have to believe me—"

I lunge at her and take her to the floor, my hands around her neck as I squeeze as tightly as I can, blood dripping from my nose, my mouth, my eyes, onto her face. She chokes, splutters, tries to pry my hands off her, but I don't budge—instead I lean forward to put more of my weight on my arms. She reaches up for my face, but I pull my head away from her, protecting my eyes and broken nose as much as possible from her fingers. "You tried to kill me! And now I'm going to kill you." Blood pounds in my ears, heat consuming me entirely. Nothing can stop me.

Bellatrix claws at my face, my neck, my shoulders, her nails cutting into the skin down my neck and cheeks and drawing blood, unable to reach her wand, unable to get my hands off her, true fear in her eyes. And it feels good to have her fear me. Her throat pulses against my palms, and anticipation fills me as I look toward the moment it ceases. She deserves to die. I can end this now. She closes her eyes, gasping as best she can. It's not until my tears splash onto my hands that I realize what I'm doing—you are not your mother—and lessen my hold. Bellatrix takes a breath, coughing, and though my hands are still on her neck, she can breathe. I lower my voice to a whisper. "Don't you ever fucking touch me again, Bellatrix. I want you out of my life. Next time, I won't stop."

There's a loud pop! followed by a booming voice yelling, "Oi!" I look up to see another Death Eater, one I don't know. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

"Run," Bellatrix breathes.

I waste no time clambering off her and over to my wand, my mind scrambling for a safe place to go. As I Disapparate from Malfoy Manor, a gleam of silver flies toward me, and Bellatrix shrieks out, "NO!"

I fall to the living room floor of Spinner's End, something sharp lodged in my side almost hand's length above my left hip, and begin sobbing because this is no longer a safe place. Snape killed Dumbledore. He killed Dumbledore. He'll kill me too. Blood from my nose and mouth seep into the carpet. I have to get out of here.

I need help.

I brace my hand on the coffee table and try to stand, groaning as I fall onto my back, the knife in my side making movement more painful than necessary. I take the hilt in my hand and yank—a hiss of pain as the blade does not come out but rather feels like it goes in deeper. What is this?

I slide backward to Snape's armchair, screaming the whole time, and fight through the agony to stand. I have to get to Hogwarts. I have to get to Hogwarts. They can help me.

I close my eyes against the pain and against the sight of Spinner's End, take as deep of a breath as possible, but before I can Disapparate, there's a quiet pop! My eyes fly open to see Snape standing in the sitting room of Spinner's End, his expression broken and exhausted, but once his eyes land on me, his face fills with confusion and concern. "Charlotte! What—"

I aim my wand at him, crying, and he stops in his tracks. He can help you.

No, he'll kill me like he did Dumbledore. "Stay back," I breathe.

"Charlotte, I—" I Disapparate despite a sliver of my heart begging me to stay and find out why he did what he did, to have him help me.

I land on the rough forest ground with a shriek, my arm trembling and on fire. Deep gashes stare up at me from my forearm—Splinched.

Almost too weak to move, I turn my eyes toward the twinkling candles and torches of the castle. They can help me.