CHAPTER 5

Snape looks across the table at me curiously. He must see the slight panic on my face, which I'm sure has been drained of what little color it normally has. Breathing regularly has become a task, but I do not want to alarm him anymore than he already is. "Are you absolutely certain you want to do this? You know it's not necessary."

There it is, the question Snape has asked more than a handful of times over the past few days. "I'm certain. Just . . . nervous."

"Understandably so."

I smile at his kindness. "However, there is one thing I would like to do before we go."

He seemingly unconsciously glances at the place on his sleeve that conceals the Dark Mark on his arm. "I'm not sure how much time we have before we are to meet."

"Just . . . trust me. Besides, if I'm not back in time, you can leave me behind, which is what you seem to want to do."

"I simply do not want you to risk your life for Fred Weasley."

"You say that like he's not worth it."

He blinks at me and makes no comment, but the anger I expected to feel at his apathy toward Fred does not emerge. And I'm not bothered by my lack of anger. "I'll be gone twenty minutes at the most."

Snape nods once, and I Disapparate.

My heart sinks when I reach Zoe's flat and find that she isn't there. I don't want to go to the Three Broomsticks because this conversation will no doubt lead to some sort of scene, so I grab the ink, quill, and parchment off her coffee table and scribble down, "I'll contact you as soon as I can. I've borrowed Milo, sorry. If something goes wrong, know that Milo will return safely no matter what. Marcus." I place the note beside her teapot and Disapparate once more, regretting my failure to have told her already. I didn't want her to try to talk me out of it, and now it's too late to have this conversation in person.

With I sight, I return to Spinner's End. Snape looks up at me, startled. "I didn't expect you back so soon."

I simply shrug. "She wasn't available."

"Are you planning to explain the owl in your hand?"

"It's just an 'in case' sort of thing. If something happens, it'd be best to send a letter to someone, right? Ask who made it safely and who didn't?"

He seems to think this is a good idea. "Whose owl is it?"

"His name is Milo, and he's Zoe's."

Snape nods and looks over at the clock hanging on the wall leading into the kitchen.

It turns out to be a good thing that I didn't have a chance to speak with Zoe in person, for hardly six minutes after my return, Snape grabs his arm and meets my eye. Then he snatches up his broomstick, which had been resting by the door, and a mask flies to his hands. He quickly puts it over his face, and I grimace at him, feeling uncomfortable in his presence for the first time in a very long time. He's a Death Eater—an actual Death Eater, with the typical garb and all. How do I forget that so easily? He seems to notice my discomfort and says, "As you'll be on the back of my broom, the chances of you confusing me with another Death Eater are almost nil. The fearful expression you're wearing is unnecessary."

An incredulous laugh escapes me. "Are you joking with me?"

"Cast the spells," he commands as he reaches for the door handle. I follow him out of the house and into the nearest dark alley where he mounts the broom and lifts a few feet off the ground. "Careful."

Invisible, I take my place behind him on the broom and am thankful for the Silencing Spell that keeps my deep, panicked breaths hidden from him. Then, slowly, we rise higher into the air, and I instinctively wrap my arms around him more tightly, sliding more closely to him on the broom. He vibrates with quiet laughter, covers my hand with his, and says, "Stop panicking. Keep calm. This was your choice, after all." Speaking is pointless because of the spell, so I don't even attempt it, but I do softly hit his back with my forehead. His chest vibrates harder. "Would you like to Apparate back to Spinner's End?"

No, I really do not.

"Tap my shoulder once for no and three times for yes."

I tap his shoulder once.

"Don't fall."

That is all the warning I get before he speeds off. I close my eyes and bury my face into his back until we come to a stop high above the clouds somewhere. I then force myself to open my eyes. Surrounding us is a circle of Death Eaters, all of them waiting patiently for Harry to arrive with his caravan of protectors. Little do any of them know that there will be seven Harry Potters and that they'll have quite the time trying to find the real one.

I lessen my grip on Snape ever so slightly to allow myself to glance around to the group of Death Eaters. Each is wearing a mask and matching robes, just like Snape's, and I'm unable to differentiate any of them. I wonder which ones are my parents, which one is my uncle. Would I be able to help keep them safe as well while I try to keep Fred and the other Weasleys safe? Or would that be stretching myself too thin right now? Surely these Death Eaters are more than capable of protecting themselves, especially since all the Harry Potters will be fleeing, not fighting. I need to focus on the reason I came here: protecting Fred and his family. Everything else is secondary.

It could very well be an eternity—it certainly feels like one with me stuck behind Snape on this untrustworthy broomstick—before seven pairs of people, a Harry in each group, rise into the sky. The Death Eaters waste no time before converging on the Order members who had been completely oblivious. I should have tried to warn them. I should have done something. Any casualty will be my fault for failing to act proactively and alert them of the Death Eaters' knowledge of their plan to move Harry tonight.

"Breathe," I hear Snape command.

I remove one hand from around his waist and draw my wand. With the hand still wrapped around him, I can feel his heavy breathing and his increasing heartbeat. I grip the front of his robes and slide closer to him, pressing as close as possible without losing my line of sight. I will not die tonight.

Lupin and Tonks are separated, which makes me extremely nervous, especially since Bellatrix wants so desperately to kill them both. A flash of green flies by Snape and me, and I gasp, though I make no noise, and slide even farther up the broom to hold more tightly to Snape. He speeds off again without any warning, and I cross my ankles beneath the broom and send a prayer for protection. We're following Lupin closely, but my gut says that this Harry is not the real Harry.

I see Mr. Weasley in the distance: he and his Harry are being pursued by one of the many hooded figures. Would Fred be riding with his father? I raise my wand at the Death Eater and cast the Stunning Spell. The man falls from his broom and disappears into the darkness below, and I tighten my hold on Snape's robes once more.

My gaze then lands on Tonks and her Harry. Four hooded figures surround them, attacking, while Tonks tries to evade them and her Harry attempts to protect himself and her. I raise my wand once more and cast the Stunning Spell at one of the figures. The red spell strikes the Death Eater, and he falls off his broom and into the pit of darkness below him. I hit one more with an Impediment Jinx, and Tonks and her Harry vanish from my sight.

Snape's hood flies off his head, and I instinctively reach out to catch it, an action I immediately regret, for I lose my balance and slip sideways off the broom. My legs latch around the small piece of wood, and I snatch Snape's calf, hanging almost completely upside down on the broom. My wand slips from my hand and plummets to the earth somewhere below. Snape raises his arm, aiming his wand at a Death Eater pursuing Lupin, and yells, "Sectumsempra!" But my pulling at him to stay on the broom has thrown him off balance—the spell misses the Death Eater's hand and hits the Harry in the ear. His wail of pain reaches me over the rushing of the wind and the pounding of blood in my ears.

"Charlotte, what the hell are you doing?" Snape growls as I try to pull myself up but continue to fail.

The Harry, blood gushing out of his wound and raining to the ground, falls unconscious, and Lupin grabs him tightly and disappears.

I try to answer him but am unable to because of the spells I have cast on myself. Again, I try to pull myself up but can't, and my heart starts pounding harder in my chest. I might die. I might actually die.

"Charlotte," he repeats, his voice much more concerned than frustrated now. The broom comes to a stop. "Charlotte, what're you doing?" He waves his wand, and the Silencing Spell releases me. "Answer me."

"My wand, I've dropped my wand! I'm falling, help me! I can't pull myself up!"

Snape slides his wand into his robes and reaches his arm down blindly to his leg, trying to find my hands without losing his balance on the broom. "Trust me."

Struggling for breath, I reach out for his hand but can hardly remove my grip from his leg before jerking it back again. I don't want to fall. I don't want to die.

"Charlotte!"

I reach out again and graze his fingers before clasping my hand back onto his leg and whimpering.

"Charlotte, you have to trust me!"

I try again, and this time he moves his hand to grab me before I have the chance to jerk away. Then he hauls me back upright, and I throw my arms around him tightly and bury my face into his back, my breathing ragged, pulling myself as close to him as I possibly can. "Th-thank-thank you," I struggle out.

He pats my arm. "You dropped your wand?"

I nod against him and can almost hear him swear at me before taking the broom to the earth below. He Summons my wand, then lowers the broom close enough to the ground for me to be able to safely remove myself, but it takes me a long moment to pry myself off him and get off the broom. I feel safe with him and don't want to leave him just yet. He prods me a bit with assurances that I will be fine now, and I get off the broom. Then he hands me the wand, commands me return to Spinner's End, and informs me that he will join me there after going back to the manor with the other Death Eaters. I do not argue; I immediately Apparate, still trembling over nearly dying.

I take deep, steadying breaths when I arrive back at Snape's house and lower myself onto his sofa. I almost died.

But I've got to focus on more important things than myself right now. Who was injured? Did anyone die?

I shout Milo's name and Summon all that I need to write a letter.

Dear Mrs. Weasley,

I am currently being forced to stay with some Death Eaters away from the manor, and while I've been here, I've learned some of the Dark Lord's plans.

I found out too late that he knows about the Order moving Harry. It's going on right now, but I cannot Apparate anywhere to warn you in person. There are spells preventing me from leaving at all.

I wish I could write more, but I have to send this before they return.

What happened? Were there casualties? I know I have no right to be asking, but I have to know. I can't rest until I know that everyone is okay.

Sincerely,
Charlotte

I give Milo a cracker and send him on his way, not expecting him to return any time soon. It will probably take days for him to find the Burrow and a few more days for the Weasleys to return. More if there were casualties.

By the time the tiny owl disappears into the sky, the pop of Snape's Apparition alerts me to his presence. "What happened?" I quickly ask him. He sits down heavily in his armchair.

"Mad-Eye Moody is dead," he says solemnly. "Potter was not caught."

"And?"

"I . . . I hit Potter with Sectumsempra," he says quietly.

"No, you didn't," I say. "That wasn't him. I'm sure of it. And anyway, it was my fault—lurching in my fall threw off your balance." He doesn't meet my eyes. "Who . . . who else—did any Death Eaters . . .?"

"Rodolphus was injured," Snape says. "He was pursuing Tonks, along with Rabastan, Bellatrix, and Alecto. Rodolphus and Alecto were both Stunned." I close my eyes. I did that to one of them. I possibly Stunned my father and nearly killed him. What if I had seriously injured him? "Rabastan saved Rodolphus, but he was bleeding profusely. Something else must have happened to him while he fell. Alecto was saved by Yaxley. Amycus had been knocked off his broom but managed to get back on."

"And . . . and Tonks?"

"She eluded Bellatrix," he says.

Relief washes over me, and I take my first comforting breath since I got on that damn broom earlier. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Saving Lupin, letting me go, and helping me out there . . . I could have—would have—died if not for you. I can't explain how much I appreciate it."

Snape nods uncomfortably, struggling to meet my eye, then clears his throat. "I imagine you would like to go inform Miss Accrington that you are alive." Something in his tone feels off, like he doesn't want me to do that right now, but I refrain from questioning it. If he has doubts about what side of the war Zoe is on, he is very wrong.

As much as I would love to go see Zoe right now, I should wait until Milo returns. I told Zoe that the owl would return safely, and until that owl returns safely, I won't go see her. Snape shakes his head at me when I tell him this, and then I retire to my room where I curl up on my bed and try to pretend that I did not almost drop out of the sky to my death.

Two days later, much earlier than I thought possible, Milo returns; I quickly remove the letter from his leg and give him a cracker before tearing the envelope open.

Dear Charlotte,

George here. It's great to hear from you. You haven't been to Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes in a while. We miss seeing you around the Burrow too. But I understand. We're trying to make Fred see reason at the moment. As ashamed as I am to admit it, Harry, Ron, and Hermione all now know about your duty to You-Know-Who. We're really sorry, but they were . . . well, eavesdropping with the Extendable Ears Fred and I made. Mum and I were trying to make our dear Fred understand this isn't your fault.

They took it pretty well, the three of them. They seem to sympathize with you, so just know that there are plenty of people who still care about you.

We're all glad you made it out of St. Mungo's. We heard from Andromeda that you're recovering well. That's good.

So, about your questions, there were a few casualties. I'll give you a list.

Casualties:

Mad-Eye Moody. This was hard on all of us. We never found his body.

Harry's owl Hedwig. He's still suffering, even though he doesn't say it.

My ear. Snape did it. Repay him for me, will you?

Mum's state of mind. She's in a frenzy all the time now.

The ability for Mum to mix me and Fred up. My ear gives me away.

Mundungus Fletcher is missing. Long story short, he's the reason Mad-Eye is no longer with us.

Harry's state of mind. He believes his wand was doing magic without him.

Victories:

We escaped.

The Weasleys, Tonks and Lupin, Hagrid, Kingsley, Hermione, and Harry are all alive.

We knocked a few Death Eaters off their brooms. We feel pretty good about this.

Ron feels awkward around Tonks now. He had to wrap his arms around her waist.

We think Ron and Hermione are beginning to realize how much they care for one another.

Mum doesn't have to confuse me with Fred anymore. It's a blessing and a curse.

Fred simply needs time. I know you're most likely sick of hearing it, but it's true. He's my brother and my best mate. He'll come around. Bill's wedding is still going to take place soon. Charlie's coming in.

Take care of yourself around the Death Eaters. And again, get revenge against Snape for me, will you? At least until I can do it myself.

George Weasley

A sudden guilt about Fred consumes me, but I quickly push it away and rush downstairs.

"Professor," I say. "It was George—George was the one you hit. Not Harry."

Snape doesn't look the least bit relieved by this. If anything, he looks slightly worse. I take a relaxing breath and reach for his copy of the Daily Prophet, managing to snatch it up from the coffee table before he can stop me. My breath catches in my throat when I read the date. It's the twenty-ninth of July. I have one full day of freedom before becoming a slave. I meet Snape's eyes, his solemn face not making this any easier for me.

I call for Milo, and he flies down to me and lands on my shoulder. "I will most likely not be returning tonight, Professor."

"Return before breakfast tomorrow," he says with a frown. "I fear they might want to keep a close eye on you the day before."

I nod shakily. "And you know where to find me if something comes up."

"Then you are free to leave."

I smile at him before Disapparating.

Zoe, sitting in front of a blank canvas, starts when I pop! into her flat, and the mug beside her crashes to the floor, spilling paint-tainted water everywhere. She hops to her feet, grinning at me for a second, but that grin quickly drops. "Charlotte Marcus Rodgers. Don't you ever—ever—leave me a note like this"—she snatches up the short letter I had written shortly ago—"without any explanation ever again! Do you understand me?"

I close the distance between us and wrap my arms around her, hiding my face in the crook of her neck. I almost died. Without Snape, I would've fallen to my death. She holds me closely, tightening her hold on me when she feels me begin to shake. "Are you going to explain what this cryptic note meant? Are you all right, Charlotte?"

"I . . . I almost died, Zoe."

She pulls away from me. "What happened?"

I sigh and drop my forehead onto her shoulder. Milo flutters past Zoe and lands on the spot of sunlight shining onto the kitchen table. I brace myself and begin telling her everything, except for the fact that my underlying motive was to atone for my sins against Fred. Her face becomes more serious, more frustrated, more concerned, as I begin telling her about riding on the back of a Death Eater's broom—she believes it was my mother's broom, as I still cannot betray Snape by telling her the actual truth about him—while they tried to hunt down and catch Harry Potter himself. She grins at the thought of seven Harry Potters escaping from a hoard of Death Eaters.

She reaches out and gently takes my hand when I describe for her how I almost fell off my broom and nearly fell to my death. "If she wouldn't kill me for simply existing, I would have to thank Bellatrix Lestrange for saving your life."

I look away from her and continue my story, starting back at the moment I first attacked a Death Eater and sent him or her crashing to the earth below where death most likely occurred. She gives my hand a soft squeeze, which I assume is done because she can sense my discomfort at the fact that I likely took the life of yet another person.

Then she asks the question I most feared she would ask. "Why would you risk yourself for Harry Potter? He has enough people doing that for him as it is. Besides, I didn't really think the two of you were close enough for you to do something like that for him."

I sigh, supposing I must tell her because lying to people I care about never does me any favors. "I didn't do it for him. I did it—I did it for the Weasleys. Fred, specifically."

Her face remains passive. "Why?"

"I lied to him for so long. I should've warned his family about the Death Eater attack—I knew about it ahead of time and had plenty of opportunities to alert the Order. I just . . . didn't."

"You still care about him, yeah?"

"Yes. And his family."

"It makes sense. I sort of wish you wouldn't have risked your life for him, but . . ." Zoe simply shrugs. "What's done is done."

"You're not angry?"

"That my girlfriend was willing to risk her life for someone who wronged her? You're a good person, Charlotte. In fact, I'm proud of you. Angry that you were so stupid in how you went about trying to help the Order, but proud of you, nonetheless. And I don't care that you did it to save Fred." She takes a step closer to me and puts her free hand on my hip. "Because, of the two of us, meaning me and Fred, I'm the one who gets to hold you close and kiss you and sleep next to you. Not him."

I smile at her and wrap my arms around her again and hid my face against her shoulder once more. I feel comforted just to be here with her, away from the Death Eaters and the Order members and everything that my life has become and will become in the next few days. The next few days. The thought of facing the Dark Lord so soon nauseates me. I just want to be held. I'm scared.

"Can you stay the night?"

"Yeah, but I'll have to leave before breakfast tomorrow because—you know, my last day before—and they'll keep me under close watch until—"

"We don't have to talk about it," she says kindly.

For the time being, I can almost forget completely about what I am to do soon. All that matters is that I am happy, utterly and perfectly happy, for the first time since Mrs. Stoico's death, and what's more is that I'm happy with Zoe and that we're together. She doesn't care about what the Dark Lord plans to force me to do. She doesn't care about my blood-riddled past. She only cares about me even though she knows everything about me, no lies between us (besides Snape), and I will do whatever it takes to keep from losing this.