CHAPTER 9
I press my hand against my stomach to stifle the ache, whimpering, but it does very little to soothe the pain. My skin begins feeling clammy—my clothes begin clinging to my sweat skin. As quickly as possible in my current state, I cast the Disillusionment Charm over myself and push forward through the pain to the large tents ahead of me where Death Eaters and members of the Order brandish their wands at one another, all fighting to what appears to be the death. I smile to myself when the Golden Trio disappeared. The Dark Lord has not won this yet.
A Death Eater casts a spell at Ginny, and I throw a shield around her, grunting through the effort. The exertion is ripping me open again, and soon I will be nothing but a pile of blood on the ground. My eyes land on Fred, who fights beside George, and I raise my wand and try to help the two of them. Somehow the reception tent catches fire, but I continue hobbling forward, each step drawing a groan from the back of my throat. Something wet—likely blood again—starts trickling down my legs.
Tonks and Lupin are hopelessly outmanned by Death Eaters, but before I have a chance to help them, I see Fred collapse to the ground, a spell having struck him straight in the chest. I whisper an apology to my cousin and her husband before struggling over to Fred. Moments before I reach him, George is struck as well and falls next to his twin. I close my eyes and turn back to Tonks and Lupin, both of whom are being taken down by the outrageous amount of Death Eaters. I'm useless.
If I stay here and continue trying to help, the Death Eaters will surely notice me. Who wouldn't see a string of spells coming from thin air?
I close my eyes, hoping it'll correct the blurriness taking over my vision, but the longer I try to focus my eyesight, the more my head begins to pound. Something is very seriously wrong with me. "Forgive me," I say quietly to no one in particular.
"He might have gone to the homes of the other Order members!" Rowle shouts. This man is in for deep trouble when he returns to the Dark Lord without Harry in tow. Some of the wizards begin Disapparating from the Burrow. I swallow down my guilt and the growing ache in my muscles as I look back at the Weasleys and Tonks and Lupin. They'll all be interrogated until this man finds Harry, but I can do nothing to save them without getting caught.
I glance at Tonks and realize that though I cannot help her, there is something I can do. So, bracing myself again, holding my breath and my midsection, I Apparate, keeping my mouth shut while yelling through the fire.
It's no secret the Tonkses are sympathetic to the Order of the Phoenix, which means they could be targeted by the Death Eaters. I come to a stop outside their house and brace myself on the destroyed doorframe, breathing steadily in an attempt to make this pain go away. Beads of sweat slide down my face. Once the burning has subsided by a fraction, the Disillusionment Charm still on me, I move forward, moaning with each step.
"Crucio!" I hear, followed by a wail of agony that sends shivers down my spine. My heart tears in two when I hear the sound of Ted Tonks shouting for them to show mercy to his wife, but I cannot move any faster—this is the absolute best I can do.
"Please!" he cries. "We don't know where he is!"
Andromeda continues screaming. I follow the sound of her shrieks and find the four of them—two Death Eaters and my aunt and uncle—in the dining room. Ted and Andromeda were probably merely enjoying a nice dinner when they were disrupted by the Dark Lord's disciples. Not thinking of any sort of consequence, I point my wand at the man in control of the Cruciatus Curse and find myself smiling.
"Impedimenta!" I shout at him. The spell throws his body against the wall, and Andromeda's screaming ceases. I point my wand at the other Death Eater, but he Disapparates before I have the chance to Stun him. I then take a few more steps toward the fallen man. "Crucio!" I clench my jaw, screaming with my lips shut from the effort of trying to hurt him as the ghost of the Dark Lord's knife carves through me once more.
Though I am not close to tiring of hearing that man cry for mercy as Ted had done moments before, I cannot keep the curse flowing from my wand. Black spots encroach on my vision; my head grows light; and I stumble and brace myself on one of the chairs in front of me. The curse drops from my wand, and the man Disapparates. I lift the Disillusionment Charm off myself and collapse into the chair I'm braced against. "Are you okay?" I choke, looking over at them.
"Charlotte?" Ted asks.
I nod, squeezing my eyes shut for a moment and trying to steady my breathing. I push my hand hard into my belly, my throat growing thick with tears, then wipe the sweat on my forehead. "Are you all right?" I ask again.
He stands and goes to Andromeda, whom he then helps up as well. "We're . . . we're fine," my aunt says, her eyes boring into me with compassion and sorrow.
"Are you sure?" I ask, weakly pushing myself to my feet, my legs trembling beneath me. Andromeda moves forward as if to catch me, but I brace against the table to keep from falling.
They nod, but before I can Disapparate (it's like they can read my thoughts), Ted asks, "Where is Dora?"
"With the Weasleys," I say, my eyes squeezing shut again to block out whatever discomfort I can. The familiar taste of iron fills my mouth. "I don't know what's going on there."
"Thank you," Andromeda whispers. She takes me into her arms, and I hiss at the new wave of agony. She releases me but keeps her grip firm on my arms. "What's happened to you? Has . . . has it happened?"
Tears fill my eyes, but I can't open them again. "I can't talk about it," I croak. Blood spurts from my mouth, and her hands come to my face. "I'm sorry, I have to leave."
"Come back," she says softly. "Come back, and I'll help you. You don't—"
"They'll kill you if they find out."
"Charlotte—"
"Please, I have to go."
Andromeda kisses my forehead and removes her hands from my face. I take a few shallow breaths to brace myself, then Apparate back to the Burrow, weeping as that fiery knife cuts into me again. Though the tent is burnt down, lights are on inside the house, and I brace against the torment and start walking in that direction, sweat pouring down my face.
I cast the Disillusionment Charm on myself again in case the Weasleys are being interrogated, then throw open the door. Only the Weasleys, Tonks, and Lupin are in the room, except for Fred and George whom I do not see at all. But the Death Eaters must have left already, so that is one thing I do not have to worry about anymore. I try to move forward, but a force slams me backward and rams me into the wall. I whimper, coughing up more blood that becomes visible as it hits Tonks in the face. "Stopstopstop," I gasp, removing the charm from myself.
"Charlotte?" Tonks asks, lowering her wand and approaching me. She lets me hold onto her shoulders while I try to steady myself against the wall. "I didn't realize. . . ."
I shake my head, trying to tell her it's fine but can't speak, then release her and drop to my hands and knees, whining. With great effort, I sit back onto my feet and look up at everyone.
"Where did you come from?" Mrs. Weasley asks, coming toward me with a motherly expression, no doubt trying to see if I'm all right.
"Malfoy Manor, then here. There was—nothing I could do—without them finding out—and telling the Dark Lord." I close my eyes and grit my teeth. "Ted and Andromeda."
"What's happened?" Tonks asks anxiously.
"There were—some Death Eaters—they're gone now. Your parents—are fine but— worried about you." My voice is dying, leaving behind a scratchy sound. Lupin takes Tonks by the hand, and they Disapparate together. "Is everyone—all right?" I ask Mrs. Weasley.
"Yes," she says. "What's wrong with you?" She presses a warm, wet towel against my mouth.
"The Dark Lord."
"Charlotte," George says, coming toward me.
"Why don't you come sit down, dear," Mrs. Weasley suggests.
"I can't stay. He'll—begin to—suspect something." I close my eyes against a wave of nausea, press my hand into my stomach, and bend over again, tears flowing freely.
"What'd You-Know-Who do to you?" Ginny asks from her place on the sofa where she is held securely by Mr. Weasley.
I shake my head silently, then cover my mouth with the towel and begin coughing again, which only serves to increase the pain even more. Unable to stop it, unable to disappear before it happens, I vomit blood onto their floor. Someone Vanishes it for me.
"Dear, you really must—"
"Charlotte, are you okay?" Fred asks, now stepping into the room.
Mrs. Weasley crouches beside me, her hand on my shoulder. "Let me—"
I wave my hand at her and croak, "I'm—fine—just need—a minute." I close my eyes and count to five, trying to breathe as evenly as possible. When I open them again, the room spins, blurring, though whether the blur is from tears or my body threatening to lose consciousness is unclear. "Can you—help me—up?"
Mrs. Weasley takes my arms and helps pull me to my feet, a low whine escaping me the entire time. In the same moment, she and I both catch sight of the blood on the floor where I had been sitting, and more heat rises to my face as sadness and sympathy floods her face. With a wave of her wand, it Vanishes. "I'm sorry," I whisper.
"How can we help you?" she asks gently.
I shake my head. "I have—to go—before they—realize I'm—gone."
"Will you be all right?" she asks.
"No," I cry.
"Charlotte—"
"If I—don't leave—now—I'm—going to—lose—consciousness." She takes a step back from me, and with a few short, shallow breaths to brace myself for the next—and hopefully last—wave of pain, I Apparate. "Professor, help!"
Snape is by my side in an instant and leading me to the sofa, where he forces me to lie down and keep the towel over my mouth to catch the blood. Then he disappears into the basement and returns a few minutes later. "Drink this. Quickly." I obey him, putting my full faith in him to help me. "You need to rest." I nod at him, and he casts a spell over me.
It takes two days for all of the soreness to finally leave my body completely, two days of sleeping on the sofa and basically crawling my way around Spinner's End unless I have either Snape to help me or a cane of some sort. Snape monitors me closely, trying to ensure that I will not have the same sort of reaction as I had when I decided "to be ridiculous and try playing hero" when the Death Eaters attacked the Burrow.
I really shouldn't have exerted myself like that. That was dangerous, as Snape has repeatedly scolded me over these few days. He sits down in his armchair and watches me silently for a few moments before saying, "Are you ready to tell me why you were so willing to risk your life?"
"I couldn't leave the Weasleys in danger like that," I say from my place on the sofa.
"Charlotte, you must understand that you owe them nothing. You need to take care of yourself first, then others." I roll my eyes at him. "I'm serious. From now on, after the Dark Lord does this to you, you cannot exert yourself as you did. You must do nothing of the sort. You must rest."
"I'll keep that in mind. Besides," I sigh, "maybe if I don't provoke him, he'll not hurt me as badly."
"I'm not sure if you should hope for something like that."
I frown, knowing he is probably right. "Had I not done what I did, Andromeda might be dead right now."
He waits for me to continue, and I give a brief description of what happened at the Tonks' house. He mutters something to himself, but I do not ask him to repeat it.
He seems to be debating something, and a few minutes later, he says, "There's something I need to tell you."
"Harry wasn't caught, was he?"
He shakes his head. "No. And Rowle needed to be punished." He gives me a second before saying, "The Dark Lord made Draco do the punishing."
"What?" I force myself into a sitting position, almost breathing a sigh of relief when only a slight amount of discomfort comes. "Why did you not tell me this days ago?"
Snape grimaces. We both know why he didn't tell me days ago, and yet I still feel angry with him for keeping this from me. "You would've tried Disapparating again to see him, regardless of the strain your body was already under. Don't you—"
"But I still—"
"Don't you realize what that could have done to you?" he snaps, his voice loud enough to overshadow mine. "You had already lost so much blood, Charlotte, and—"
"But he needed—"
"You needed to rest!" I pause, taken aback by the intensity in his voice. "You had already put yourself through too much, and I couldn't sit by and watch you risk yourself further." My face flushes with shame at my frustration with him; he was only worried about my well-being. He sighs and says, "You may go now, if you'd like. You'll be tired, of course, so be careful, but it is no longer a danger for you to—"
"Thank you." I Disapparate.
I breathe a sigh of relief when I arrive without that horrible agony following me, just the soreness of muscles that have been overworked. I walk slowly, refusing to push myself too hard, despite feeling nothing like I did the other day.
The first place I check is Draco's room because if I can avoid seeing the Dark Lord, this will go much better. Upon reaching his room, I don't bother knocking, just throw the door open. Draco lies in his bed, the covers pulled to his chin. He doesn't even look up at me, so I walk over and take a seat beside him. "Draco," I say gently.
Finally, he glances over at me, and I lose my breath. His eyes are sunken and dark, his face pale. "Charlotte?" His voice comes out as a sad croak. "Charlotte! He made me Cru—"
"I heard," I say, rubbing his back kindly. "I was just told. I would have been here days ago had I known."
His tears dampen my neck. "Don't worry about it. I just—I just—" He fails to finish what he was trying to say.
"I know, I know. But you'll be all right," I assure him. How many times have people told me this very thing though I knew the opposite was true? How can I turn around and do the very same thing to Draco?
"I haven't slept since—how do you handle—how am I supposed to—" He breaks down sobbing, then ducks his face into his pillow for a moment to collect himself. "I guess I haven't much of a reason to be so upset, do I?" he asks softly, his sorrowful eyes meeting mine moments later. "I'm . . . I'm sorry. I shouldn't—I shouldn't be acting like this . . . not when, you know, what you have to go through. Mum told me . . . are you okay?"
"The magic took its toll on me, but I'm fine now, yeah. But I've been dealing with this stuff for seven years, Draco. You just recently got thrown into the Death Eater scene."
He half-smiles. "I still have no reason or right to complain to you."
"Sure, you do. Who else will listen?"
"No one," he whispers, almost inaudibly.
"Then you can come to me," I say firmly.
He looks away from me.
"Will you be at Hogwarts this year?"
"It's going to be required for all witches and wizards to attend Hogwarts," he says. "The Dark Lord wants to infect their minds at a young age. But I don't know if this applies to me." He looks back at me. "I don't know if he'll want me there. He might have other plans for me . . . since he knows he's already gotten the Malfoys, why bother trying to indoctrinate me?" He makes an odd noise in the back of his throat, like he tried to say something but couldn't. "And you're at Snape's again?"
I smile. "Yeah, the Dark Lord wants Snape to keep an eye on me. Apparently, he fears I might try to run. . . ." I shrug sarcastically. "I don't know why he would ever fear that."
"There's more to Snape than meets the eye, isn't there?" he asks abruptly.
"I don't know what you mean."
"Well, for sixteen years he's worked at Hogwarts. Dumbledore openly trusted him; then Snape goes and kills the man who kept him out of Azkaban. Something doesn't add up, does it?"
I grimace. "He's still an evil git." That's so not true, and I hate having to say it.
Draco smiles.
We're quiet after that, sitting in his room with our hands still locked together. I can't imagine what it must have been like for Draco to Cruciate someone. I've done it before, even enjoyed it before, but Draco and I are different, no matter how similar our situations. He's never been the purely evil type, whereas I've done enough evil in my life to not feel overly remorseful about it anymore. Darkness has become commonplace, really since the moment I stabbed Avery to death with that knife.
"This isn't going to end well for you, is it?" he asks.
I look at him, and his face turns red as he quickly looks away, almost like he is hoping he can take back what he's just said. "What?"
"I didn't—I didn't mean it like that. . . ." he stammers. "It—I just meant, you know, when people find out . . ."
"I'm working on that. I believe Harry will be able to destroy the Dark Lord. Dumbledore expressed to me that Harry only needed time. I think he'll be able to kill him once and for all." It's not Harry's fault that Dumbledore cared more about his well-being than mine, that Dumbledore made sure the Order would do everything to protect Harry Potter. Harry can't be blamed for what Dumbledore has—hasn't—done for me.
"Do you really believe that?"
"I have to. It's my silver lining."
"And . . . if you have a child before that . . . what then?"
"I'm working on that too. When I figure it out, I'll be sure to let you know."
I hold a copy of the Daily Prophet in my hands, the paper shaking as my body trembles with anger. "This can't be real," I mumble.
"I'm afraid it is," Snape says. "The Ministry is rounding up Muggle-borns at this very moment. Unfortunately, they're not overly concerned with how said Muggle-borns got their magic as much as they are concerned with eradicating the Wizarding world of these 'thieves.'"
"And the Muggle-borns who are required to attend Hogwarts," I say. "What's going to happen to them?" He can't answer, but his solemn face tells me that those poor eleven-year-old Muggle-borns will never see Hogwarts, and possibly never see their families again. "And Hermione, what will happen to her? And Ted Tonks?" And Zoe.
"Seeing as Miss Granger is travelling with Potter, Undesirable Number One of the Ministry, I don't think you should be worrying about her blood status," he says. "As for Ted Tonks . . ." He shakes his head.
I catch his eye, and he gives me slight nod. Then I'm gone.
The next thing I know, my feet are hitting the ground outside the house of the Tonks family as I run to the door, which has been repaired since my last visit. I knock on it, and it only takes a second for Andromeda to answer. "Charlotte—are you alright?"
"Yes. I just found out about the Muggle-born Registration Act," I say quietly, following my aunt into the house. Tonks and Lupin are both here.
"Charlotte," Tonks greets me.
"Tonks. Are all of you all right?"
"For now, yes," Andromeda says. "Does anyone know you're here?"
"No, the Death Eaters don't usually make any kind of contact with me unless forced to by the Dark Lord." I steer the conversation back to something safer—the reason I came here in the first place. "Ted—he isn't going to register, is he? I overheard some of the Death Eaters. The Registration Act is just a way to round up the Muggle-borns for slaughter, to take back the magic that they 'stole.'"
Andromeda shakes her head. "Ted won't register on principle."
"Where is he now?"
"He's preparing for when he will have to leave—it's only a matter of time," Andromeda says, tears filling her eyes. She looks away from me.
"Will you be at Hogwarts this coming year?" Tonks asks me.
I nod. "The Dark Lord doesn't trust me being on my own. He has commissioned Snape to keep an eye on me."
"He's doing a fantastic job of it," she says dryly. Tonks looks over at Lupin, then to me. "Have you heard the news?" This draws a smile from Andromeda.
"What?" I ask, grateful for any good news anyone can share with me now considering how rare such occurrences are these days.
"Remus and I . . . we're going to have a baby!"
A broad smile comes to my face. "That's fantastic!" Lupin looks as if this news is the opposite of "fantastic." He walks out of the room.
"Have you heard from Harry, Ron, or Hermione?" I ask quietly, wanting, but refusing, to ask about Lupin's behavior.
"Remus just got back from speaking with them," Tonks says.
"Did it not go well?"
"I don't know. He's . . . he's worried that he's passed his condition onto the baby," she says quietly.
"And it would be fine if he had," Ted says, now entering the room. "We would treat neither of them any differently." He smiles at me. "It's a pleasure to see you again."
"Likewise," I say.
"How are you, Charlotte?" Tonks asks. "I spoke with Molly."
Heat flushes my face. "I'm fine. That was—side effects of—what he did to me. I don't want to talk about it. Please."
She nods kindly. "Professor McGonagall says you told her Bellatrix was trying so passionately to kill Remus and me because of our marriage."
"Yeah, the Dark Lord humiliated the Malfoys and Bellatrix about it during a meeting. That's when she decided to 'prune the family tree' in order to 'make it healthy again.'"
"And people wonder why I turned against the Black family," Andromeda comments.
"I certainly don't blame you."
Andromeda smiles sadly. "I'm guessing my wonderful sisters are trying their best to 'help' you through this, aren't they?"
"Narcissa is sympathetic, feels sorry for me even. Bellatrix, on the other hand, truly believes that this is the greatest honor anyone could have ever been given. So . . . there's that." My eyes drift to my feet. "But I don't like to think about it much. Besides, I should probably head back. If the Death Eaters happen to come searching for me, it would not be wise to be missing."
Tonks smiles at me. "If you need anything—"
"Anything at all," Andromeda adds.
"Don't hesitate to come to us," my cousin finishes.
"I will." I bid them all a goodbye, then Apparate back to Spinner's End.
"How'd it go?" Severus asks before I gain my bearings.
"It went fine. But I just came back to say that I won't be coming back tonight—if that's all right with you, of course."
He watches me, waiting for me to continue, so I do, "I'm going to make sure Zoe can safely get into hiding. She's a Muggle-born, you know. So I need to make sure she doesn't register . . . and I need to make sure that she's safe, Professor. I can't lose her."
Snape nods again and says, "Take care of yourself, Charlotte."
"I will." Then I Apparate again.