Chapter 02.
Never Again

The following day, Gemma set off for Seattle early, not even considering the possibility of staying another day. She desperately looked forward to those nearly six hours of flight, imagining how each would put more distance between her and her sister.

Her last conversation with Tricia the night before began with her practically throwing the unopened box of PurrPetual Petz onto the table in front of Gemma. Once the guests had left, and Allen and the children's eyes were far away, Tricia finally let her true face emerge; the one Gemma knew all too well, the one that emerged when it was just the two of them… and that even after all these years, still paralyzed her a little whenever it appeared before her.

"Esther doesn't have, nor will she have a tablet," Tricia pointed out roughly. "So you better take your horrible little toy with you when you leave. And don't you dare to question the way I raise my daughter again, especially in front of other people."

Gemma blinked, confused. What was that about? The devices comment? If so, it seemed pretty exaggerated, even coming from her.

"That's not what I meant to do," Gemma muttered hesitantly, slowly standing up from her chair as if afraid a sudden movement might upset her even more. "I just wanted to help. I know this must be very difficult for you all..."

"No, you don't know," Tricia cut her off sharply. "You don't know a damn thing about what I'm going through here or what I've been through these past four years."

"And whose fault is it, Tricia? You practically drove me away from here when…"

Her words were cut off again, but this time by a slap from her sister so hard that it almost made her fall against the table if it weren't for the fact that her body reacted by putting her hands in the way.

Gemma froze, feeling the heat on her cheek scorch her skin. It took a while for her mind to fully grasp what had happened and even longer for her to recover and turn to look at her sister over her shoulder. She watched her with her usual cold, severe expression, calmly adjusting the strands of her hair as if nothing had happened.

"I don't know why you really came here," she muttered with an abnormal calm, which was more disturbing than if she were yelling at her. "We're both much happier leaving things just as they are: me with my life here, my husband and my children, and you over there with your toys. I don't know why you insist on changing it."

Gemma's fists clenched so tightly as she listened to her that she felt her nails digging into her palms. She wanted so badly to punch her hard in that fake stone face of her… but she didn't. She hated the way she acted around Tricia, that she couldn't stay calm in her presence, and the fear she caused, as if they were still little kids.

But no more; never again.

"Don't worry about it," she declared as firmly as she could, standing up straight again. "I'll never do that again. Never."

And with her fervent declaration, she hurried out of the room, heading for the guest room.

"I hope it's true this time," Tricia muttered indifferently as she walked past, but Gemma didn't even stop to look at her and walked on.

The next morning, she left as early as she could, while most of the family was asleep. The only one she managed to say goodbye to was Allen, who made her coffee and offered her a ride, but she politely declined. Allen didn't question her much about why she was leaving so soon; deep down, he knew Gemma and Tricia's relationship was complicated at best, but Gemma was convinced he didn't even know the tip of the iceberg of what was really going on there. Maybe he didn't really want to see it; he wanted to live out the fantasy of the perfect family as much as Tricia did, and he ended up leaving the field clear for his wife to do whatever she wanted.

And that's why Gemma hated him a little too, no matter how irrational it seemed.

And so, as soon as she left for Connecticut, she returned to Seattle, with the promise and longing in her heart to never return there, and never again see her sister or her perfect family.

Just a few days later, she would discover, to her dismay, that she would have to return to Connecticut much sooner than she had hoped. On the other hand, her wish to never return to see her sister would come true... but not in the way she had expected.

The call surprised her one night in her lab under her work offices, after perhaps the most disastrous demonstration she had ever given in her entire career.

As soon as she returned to Seattle, Gemma was so upset that she focused completely on her work to try to forget the ordeal. But instead of focusing 100% on delivering the new PurrPetual Petz prototype, which David had been waiting for so long, she divided her time between that and her personal project, the one she was working on at the company's facilities, with company money, and on the company's time. The same one David had asked (or rather ordered) her to leave indefinitely until she had the damned new prototype.

But Gemma couldn't let it go. The PurrPetual Petz had long since fallen behind on what she knew she could do. This other project, instead, was a giant leap forward, something revolutionary and unique that no one but her could pull off. A perfect combination of all the advanced technology she'd always wanted to handle and the smart toy design she'd perfected over her years working in the industry. It was the project she was sure would catapult her career, her legacy, make her famous, perhaps even her ticket to executive success… And maybe then Tricia would stop being so condescending when talking about her toys.

She was also convinced that David would forgive her for any lies or extra work she did behind his back once he saw the magnificent creation in his hands and realized its full potential. But to do that, she needed to make it presentable enough first so she could show it to him.

But of course, the universe was always against her, and David ended up discovering what she was secretly doing that very night. And her demonstration that was supposed to convince him that the PurrPetual Petz was the excrement of the past, and this was the future… ended in a horrific fire, which luckily didn't escalate. But needless to say, David wasn't as impressed as she'd hoped…

"I want the prototype for the new mascot by Friday, no fail," David muttered, clearly trying to contain his anger, while Gemma's colleague, Cole, put out the burning head of their secret project with a fire extinguisher. "And I want you to forget this cyborg puppet show and put it in a closet where it belongs!"

And with his gentle request, he left the laboratory in a mess, leaving Gemma and her colleagues in a gloomy silence.

There was nothing more to say or do. The boss had given his ultimatum.

Gemma told her colleagues, Tess and Cole, that they could retire for the night, as she wanted to be alone. Not just to grieve but to carry out David's instructions herself. So she ended up spending the next couple of hours immersed in the companionable silence of her lab, dismantling the hardware parts of her project, except for those that hadn't been scorched, and storing them in airtight boxes.

Perhaps others in her situation would think it was for the best and that it might not have worked anyway. But Gemma didn't. She had already figured out the software; that was the complicated part. And she was more than convinced that with just a little more time, she'd be successful with a final hardware design. Just a little more...

She was frustrated and thinking about all this when her phone rang. The number on the screen was unfamiliar, but she recognized the area code: a call from Connecticut. It wasn't Tricia's or Allen's, but she still didn't want to answer and rejected the call. She went back to her packing, but just a few seconds later, it rang again, with the same number.

Gemma snorted in annoyance and picked up her phone. Her only consolation was that she was the last person Tricia'd call for any reason. Apologize? Not in her wildest dreams.

"Hello?"

"Miss Forrester?" a woman's voice said on the other end of the line.

"Yes, I am."

"Sorry to call so late. This is Officer Leahy from Connecticut State Police."

The police? Gemma thought, confused. That made a small alarm bell buzz in the back of her mind.

"Ms. Forrester? Are you still there?" the officer's voice asked after perhaps too long a moment of silence.

"Yes, sorry. I'm here. What... What's going on?"

"Miss..." There was a moment of hesitation before finally saying it. "I'm sorry to inform you that there's been an accident."

"Accident?" Gemma whispered, her mouth feeling dry. "What accident...?"

Officer Leahy went on to explain in more detail what had happened, as well as the full gravity of the horrific incident, with the usual poise that years of experience have given law enforcement officers after facing so many similar situations. And Gemma couldn't help but envy her for it...

Her mind practically shut down halfway through the police's explanation. Everything she did from that point on was automatic, like a robot following its programming without questioning what it was doing or why. Gemma would soon think it would be nice to always be like that.

Her next moment of lucidity came when she was in David's office, standing in front of his desk. Luckily, he was still there, though, of course, he wasn't pleased to see her after the tense conversation they'd just had in the lab. He was even less pleased when she informed him that she had to return to Connecticut immediately. David began reciting a symphony of screams until Gemma cut him off by more clearly informing him about the reason for this sudden second trip.

"My sister, her husband, and my nephew… passed away… I just got informed."

It took David a long time to gather his thoughts and be able to utter something other than meaningless babble. Finally, his neurons connected enough for him to say:

"Of course… Take as much time as you need… as long as it's reasonable…"

"Thank you," Gemma's short and quick response.

As she left the office, her brain shut down again, and she wasn't vividly aware of anything until she was on the plane and again until it landed. Everything was like a repeat of a few days ago, but this time, she was flying at night and arriving in Darien late at night. And she wasn't headed toward the Albright mansion but toward the County General Hospital.

The place was so quiet and silent, like something out of a horror movie. As soon as Gemma set foot in reception, she felt lost, like a scared animal not knowing where to go, and that bothered her immensely. So she did the most logical thing: she went to the information desk and told them to know who she was and her business. The nurse's face in the unit and how it darkened when she heard her made it clear that she knew precisely what Gemma was talking about.

"Wait a second, please," the nurse instructed gently as she picked up her landline and dialed an extension. After only a few seconds, Gemma heard her say, "The Albright girl's relative is here… Yes, I'm telling her. Thank you."

She hung up at that moment and looked back at Gemma with the same pitiful expression as before.

"Someone will come for you in a moment."

Gemma simply nodded in response and walked over to one of the waiting room chairs, sinking into it like a rock. It shouldn't have been more than a few minutes of waiting, but it felt much longer for Gemma. As she waited, her gaze wandered wildly over the irregularities of the white wall in front of her, as if analyzing a complex work of art hanging in a museum. In reality, though, her mind was filled with memories of her last conversation with her sister.

"Don't worry about it. I'll never do that again."

"Never."

"Never."

"Never again…"

"Miss Forrester?" She suddenly heard someone speaking next to her, and it shook her a little as if she had been suddenly pulled out of a dream.

She looked up from her seat and saw two women standing to her left, staring at her. One was round-faced, wearing a police jacket and beret, and the other was dark-skinned, with short hair, wearing a lavender coat.

"I'm Officer Leahy. You and I spoke earlier on the phone," the policewoman introduced herself, to which Gemma nodded in understanding. "This is Dr. Segar, your niece's therapist," she added, turning to the other woman with her.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Forrester," the woman in lavender said, taking a step toward Gemma to extend her hand. Gemma took it and shook it mechanically. "Though I'm sorry it's under these circumstances."

"Thank you," Gemma mumbled in response, unsure of what exactly she was thanking her for. She stood up from her chair at that point. "Do... Do you need me to identify the bodies or...?"

"No, don't worry," Leahy quickly explained. "That's already been done."

"Okay, thank you," Gemma said slowly, again not knowing what she was thanking for.

"Your sister and brother-in-law didn't die by the fire," the officer explained. "We think they tried to escape by climbing onto the roof, but they slipped and..."

"Please, I'd rather not..." Gemma cut her off, raising a hand at a stop signal.

"Sure, of course," the officer cleared her throat, a little embarrassed.

"And Esther?

"She's fine," the therapist replied in a cautious voice. "She's sleeping in the emergency hall now. They gave her a sedative so she could rest. Do you want to go see her?"

Gemma hesitated for a moment, wondering whether it was a good idea to say yes or no…

"Yes, sure," she replied, not very convinced.

The two women guided her through the hospital's labyrinthine corridors toward the emergency room. Gemma didn't even question where they were going; she just let her feet move on their own behind her two guides. Her mind continued to wander through the storm, trying to unravel the strange reality she was now living in.

Tricia, her sister, was dead. And not just her: Allen and Gunnar too, all three of them dead in a terrible fire in their own home.

It had been so sudden; at least with her mother, the illness had given her time to adjust. But the worst part was that she had no idea how she was supposed to feel. Should she be sad? Should she be happy? How had she felt after her mother's death? It remained with her like a vague memory of a past life, even though it had only happened eight years ago. And while her relationship with her mother had its complications, they were nowhere near as difficult as the ones between her and Tricia.

But there was something else: Esther had survived.

Dr. Segar and Officer Leahy led her to a glass wall through which she could see the interior of a room filled with gurneys, half of them occupied. And on the second closest to the glass, she saw precisely the little Esther, the same one she had seen days before on her last visit. Her hair was loose and disheveled, her head pressed against the pillow, and her eyes closed, apparently sleeping as she had been told. A bandage wrapped around her right arm, and a dressing was placed against her cheek. Small wounds marked her face here and there, as well as some soot.

She looked so calm, so innocent…

"She only has minor burns and some scrapes," Dr. Segar explained at her side. "Other than that, she's fine, out of danger. Her parents took her to the roof with them, saving her."

"And Gunnar?" Gemma asked automatically.

"We found his body in Allen's study," the officer explained. "It was very..." She paused for a moment before giving another unsolicited graphic description. "Anyway, identification from dental records is still pending, but we're pretty sure it's him."

Gemma didn't reply. Her attention remained fixed on Esther. She slept so peacefully and soundly that for a moment, she wondered if she might have died too, and they'd all been wrong.

It seemed unreal to her that after being kidnapped for four years, she'd finally returned home to her parents, and only a few weeks later, something like this had happened. Was it really an accident? Couldn't there have been something else going on? Perhaps the people who kidnapped Esther in the first place had found her...?

Gemma wanted to ask Officer Leahy just that possibility, but she couldn't find the right words to phrase the question.

"Miss Forrester," Dr. Segar called, and Gemma instinctively turned her entire face in her direction. "I know this is all very sudden, and you must have a lot on your mind right now. But it's important that we talk about Esther."

Her expression and tone became even more serious than they had been before.

"Is there any other living relative we can contact?"

"No," Gemma muttered, slowly shaking her head. "It was just the four of them."

"And you," Officer Leahy pointed out. Gemma didn't respond with any words for or against this statement.

"That being the case," Dr. Segar continued, "the court would have no problem granting you temporary custody, with the option to make it a permanent adoption if..."

"I live in Seattle," Gemma said quickly, reflexively. "On the other side of the country. Wouldn't it be better if she stayed... around here? Closer to home?"

"She doesn't have a home anymore," Officer Leahy muttered, a little hesitant saying it. "The fire reduced the house practically to ash. And there's no one else here to take care of her."

"Tricia and Allen had a lot of friends. One of them might want to… take her in, right?"

The officer and the therapist looked at each other, saying nothing. Gemma guessed this wasn't the first time this idea had crossed their minds, and it hadn't worked out well.

"So far, no one has stepped forward," Dr. Segar explained. "And it doesn't appear that Allen or Tricia have worked out any prior custody arrangements. And after everything she's been through, now more than ever, Esther needs stability."

"How is it going to be stable to force her to move with me across the country?"

"She has no one here," Officer Leahy emphasized. "There, at least she'd have you. You're the only family she has left."

Gemma crossed her arms protectively over her torso. She paced one way, then the other, like a caged animal. And partly, she felt that way: wanting to run away somewhere, with no clear direction to go in.

She took a few steps toward the wall opposite the glass and leaned against it.

"I know what you're getting at, okay?" she exclaimed, her voice clearly defensive. "I don't want to seem like the bad girl here, but the truth is, my sister and I…" She paused, her mouth twisting as if something were hurting her. "I would be the last person she'd want to take care of her daughter. And I barely know Esther at all, and she doesn't know me. Besides, I don't know anything about children, and I'm always so busy… And the things she's been through these past four years… What am I supposed to do to help her with all of that?"

Gemma avoided the gazes of both women, afraid of seeing disappointment in them or even repulsion at the things she was saying. She knew how people would interpret all of this. How could that cold, evil woman abandon a little girl when she'd just lost her entire family? Doesn't she have a heart? Or is she a robot as cold as the ones she builds?

But all of that was overwhelming her. It was enough trying to digest and understand how she felt about her sister's death, and now she had to face the possibility of having to take care of a ten-year-old girl. That option wasn't even on her to-do list. And inside, she couldn't help but hate Tricia even more, for, even in death, putting her in that kind of situation where no matter what, she would end up being the villain of the story...

But of course, that was another one of those things she wouldn't say out loud.

"Legally, nothing forces you to accept the guardianship," Dr. Segar told her somewhat subdued. "But I'm afraid if no one is willing, child protective services will have to take over."

"What does that mean?" Gemma asked, a little alarmed by how serious she made child protective services sound. "Will she be sent to an orphanage?"

"It is likely, at least until a foster home is found."

Officer Leahy let out a long breath and pulled back her police hat with one hand.

"Poor girl," she murmured with pain in her voice, turning to look at Esther's stretcher. "After everything she's been through..."

"Officer," Dr. Segar reprimanded her, first with her voice, and then with her eyes. The officer apologized with a nod and stepped back.

Gemma also looked toward the stretcher, and this time, as she contemplated Esther's calm and peaceful face, in contrast to those wounds, she felt a knot form in her stomach.

Would she be able to turn around and leave that little girl behind? Could she really live telling herself over and over again that it wasn't her problem? Did that little girl have to pay for the horrible relationship she had with her mother? Or was it all just an excuse to avoid an obligation she didn't ask for or want?

She felt dizzy. It was all too much. Dr. Segar must have noticed the pallor in her face or the way she was swaying from side to side because she immediately went over and took her arm to steady her. Another time, she would have told her to let go, but this time, she was grateful she did. Otherwise, she might have fallen.

"We don't mean to overwhelm you with all of this," the therapist murmured, her voice so calm and gentle that Gemma felt it almost like a caress on her cheek. "Listen, you don't have to commit to anything permanent right now. You can just file for temporary custody and take care of her for the next few weeks, which will be the hardest for her. And after that, perhaps we could make other arrangements if you still want it. Perhaps, as you say, someone willing to take over will come along. Just think about it."

Gemma felt unable to respond with words, so she simply nodded. She raised her face again, toward Esther. The girl shifted slightly on the bed, tilting her face completely toward her.

She could do it. Just for a few weeks, for a short time. Maybe it wouldn't even be so bad. What could possibly go wrong?