AUTHOR'S NOTE: The show did not state where this death took place. I ultimately decided to set it in modern Romania because that area is within vulture territory and where I would imagine something like this taking place. Also, I'm not exactly sure if this was actually a form of execution in the second century, but I'm just rolling with what the show gives me.

The file marked "INCIDENT 0100000100" has a drawing of a vulture on it.

Ruby: "0100000100. That's, like, a historical death, right?"

Shannon: "Those have always been my favourite deaths to analyse. You learn about thanatology and history in a nice two-for-one package!"

The image on the file shows a man in a fur coat of sorts tied to a tree, being devoured by two vultures.

Shannon: "This death's a short one, which is being merciful if I say so myself."

Zoom in to the laptop screen.

We open to a forest scene, the trees towering into the sky and the ground littered with leaves and wood chips. We see several men in ragged-looking outfits, forcing another man with a beard up against one of the trees.

Date of Incident: Sometime in the second century CE

Location of Incident: Somewhere in Dacia (modern Romania)

Shannon: "We've seen tales of people who died accidentally, tragically or just stupidly."

One of the bearded man's accousters begins wrapping him in a bloodied animal skin.

Shannon: "But when we take each other out, death can get a LOT more gruesome. I'm sure any married men reading this know what it's like to be pecked to death. But back in the second century that took that quite literally."

Another man then begins tying a length of rope around the bearded man and the tree, winding it around and around.

Shannon: "The bearded man here has made the big mistake of angering his tribal elders."

Eventually, with the wrapping complete, the man doing the tying ties the rope in a knot, before he and the others depart, leaving the bearded man alone tied to the tree.

Shannon: "So as punishment, he's been wrapped in a freshly killed animal skin, tied to a tree, and left to the mercy of whatever carnivorous animal happened to be in the area."

Soon enough a vulture descends from the sky and lands on the man.

Shannon: "Most likely, vultures would quickly pick up the scent, and descend on him like Lincoln on a Burpin' Burger."

The vulture soon digs its beak into the bearded man's flesh, and a scream of agony whelps through the trees. Another vulture soon joins in the feast.

Shannon: "He could only watch in agony as the birds used their razor-sharp beaks to tear his flesh apart and eat him alive."

Soon enough the screams die away into silence, the vultures still feasting.

Shannon: "Ah, those were the days."

WAY TO DIE #112

FUR BURGER

Back to the Sharuby couple in their office.

Ruby: "I wonder what that man did to anger the tribal elders."

Shannon: "We'll probably never know. You're narrating the next one."

Ruby nods, marking the file and wheeling over to get the next one.