Chapter 5

God, I am such a freaking moron.

Detective Holland wasn't here to help me, he was here to babysit me! Hold my hand and take me back to... to what? To live with a man who didn't even bother to show up to his own son's funeral? What kind of person does that? Obviously not one I'd want to live with. So that only left two options, neither of which sounded great; foster care or living on the streets. Wow, sounds pretty pathetic when I put it that way.

Whatever.

Screw the Detective. After our little chat, well... I couldn't care less what happened to him. Or Maria. Hooray, she was innocent and didn't have anything to do with James's death.

Still didn't make me hate her any less.

Soon Detective Holland, or Anthony or Tony or whatever the hell his name was, gave up. The faint pounding on the door suddenly stopped and didn't pick up again. Just one more guy to leave me. I flipped the switch on the wall but once again, the lights didn't come on. I really should be getting used to disappointment. Why should anything go right for me? It hadn't since I was a kid and it sure as hell wasn't now. Murphy's law was certainly working in full force here. Well, maybe not entirely. The main doors were unlocked, so hey, there's a silver lining. Pretty sad when an unlocked door is the only thing going for me.

Get a grip. I needed to get my head back in the game, back to the search for answers to the riddles surrounding James's death. After all, he was the reason I was in this hell in the first place. I needed to find out why. Why did he carve that name in his wrist? Why did he kill himself? And why do it here, in the one town that had tormented him for eight years? Why leave me?

A tiny little niggle wormed its way into my head. If that bitch Maria really didn't have anything to do with James, then what if... what if there were no answers?

I clenched my hand in my hair. What if James was just plain bat-shit crazy? The guilt from what he had done to Mary would be more than enough to make anyone want to end it. What if he was just a depressed schizophrenic who saw monsters lurking around every corner coming to get him?

Bullshit.

That was bullshit, all of it. James had made peace with Mary's soul, I knew that. I don't know how I knew, but from the depths of my own soul, I knew he was at peace. It wasn't Mary. After seeing that, that thing in the street... I believe that any monster he saw was absolutely real. Real enough to kill him...

I must be exhausted. Here I am trying to convince myself James hadn't committed suicide when I should be looking for Rachel. I pushed off the door, looking for anything useful. The room was boring, filled with boring furniture and a boring mini fridge. A small whiteboard hung on the opposite wall, filled with medical jargon, a key code for the third floor, and...

"Well that might be useful."

Walking to the whiteboard, I peeled away a map of the hospital that had been taped to the corner. According to it, I was actually in the Dr's. Lounge. The nurse's station was on the second floor. That had to be where Rachel was. If she was still here in this creepy-ass building, she'd be there. Glancing at the mini fridge, I realized I was starving. I hadn't eaten since last night. Pretty sure no one would miss their lame homemade ham sandwich. The same lame-ass had taped a note to the door; "Food only! Do not store drugs!"

Well no shit, Sherlock.

I opened the door and immediately started gagging. The smell was nauseating, an indescribable perfume of rotting flesh. I dropped the map to cover my mouth as I tried really hard not to hurl all over the floor. This wasn't real, this couldn't be freaking real! It was just a joke. A sick, demented joke.

It was a heart. A mother-effing human heart. It sat on a plate in a pool of its own congealed blood. Flies swarmed it, consuming it. I finally slammed the door shut. A thumping sound came from inside the fridge. The thumping became a rhythm and it clicked what was happening. The cold, dead heart was beating.

"Pull it together Laura!"

I'm not crazy. Insanity doesn't run in my family. Or maybe it does, how the hell should I know? My parents are all dead. It's not like I can ask, "Hey mom and dads, does crazy run in our genes? Because I'm fairly positive I just lost my Goddamned mind." Maybe I was insane. Maybe I had been in a car accident. What if I was still in that cab and suffering from a brain injury while bleeding to death?

What the hell am I even thinking? If I was crazy then this beating bloody heart wouldn't freak me out so much, it would seem normal. Well, it wasn't normal. It was so far gone from normal that if I saw a unicorn shitting rainbows I'd sooner believe that than this.

So I'm not crazy.

My heartbeat slowed, matching pace with the dinner plate from hell. Think, I had to think. That's it, calm rational thoughts. I was alone in this damn hospital but Rachel might still be here. Detective Asshole could still be out there waiting to drag me to some overcrowded, underfunded foster home filled with screaming brats and deadbeat foster parents. Ms. Big-Titted Bitch has already proven she's as good as useless... so Rachel it was.

I picked up the map from where I had dropped it, trying in vain to ignore the thumping. From the light of my phone I studied the floor plans for a second then figured out where I needed to go. Great, the sooner I left this room the sooner I could get back to reality. My stomach rumbled and a laugh bubbled from my lips before I could stop it. See? Completely normal to still be hungry after hearing dead flesh come to life on its own...

Folding the map, I stuck it in my pocket and took one final deep breath before going to the door and opening it. Leaving the Dr.'s Lounge, I made an immediate right. The hallways were dark and empty, the rooms all dark and empty. That was both good and bad. Good that there were no monsters waiting to tear me apart but bad because... well because it was dark and empty. The silence was overwhelming. No monitor beeps or nurse's lectures this time. My footsteps echoed, my boots once more squeaking on the scuffed up linoleum. Holding my phone up, I glanced to the right. Ugh. Something I hated more than silence.

Elevators.

They freaked me the hell out. I've hated them for as long as I can remember. The funny thing is I've never had a bad experience in one. Never been stuck, never dropped too quickly or anything like that. It was just the thought of it, of being in a metal box suspended on thin cables in an endless, empty shaft. They were claustrophobic and always smelled of body odor and sweat. I'm not taking it. Hell no. I'd rather take the stairs. A few more steps brought me to the stairwell door but it was locked. Of course.

Thinking of the map, there was another staircase nearby, down the hall where the morgue was. Now, morgues are generally creepy, even scary places but this one didn't scare me... it made me feel almost... happy. It was the last place I got to see James before I buried him. My God, how messed up is my life? Pretty freaking messed up and mangled, am I right?

I pushed through a set of heavy doors across from me, the scraping metal sounding about as loud as a canon going off. No one here either. Yet another dark and empty hallway. Wait, what's this? It wasn't completely dark.

Light! There was light coming from under the door directly to my right. Shuffling sounds came from within. This was the literally the first sign this entire damn hospital wasn't completely dark and deserted but what if it was a trap? There could be a monster waiting for me in there. Or it could be Rachel... Goddamn it Laura, make up your mind for once in your life!

I pushed open the doors.

The light was practically blinding after the utter darkness I had been stumbling around in. I looked around frantically, holding my fist up like I was actually going to defend myself against anything. It looked like an examining room with a bed and desk shoved against one wall and a soiled curtain hanging next to a bookcase on the opposite wall. The room was empty.

"Jesus Christ!" I screamed as a wrench came flying at my head. I ducked just in time and it hit the door behind me, the clanging metal making my ears ring. When I straightened a woman wearing a white lab coat was climbing to her feet from behind the curtain. Apparently the room wasn't freaking empty.

"Oh! Oh my goodness... I thought you were... something else."

I scowled at her as I turned my phone's flashlight off. "Jesus lady, I'm a person! And you almost took me out!" She pushed aside the curtain and I finally got a good look at her. Straight, auburn hair streaked with gray fell to her shoulders and bright green eyes peered at me from behind wire-frame glasses. Pale and freckled, she was tall with an athletic build, the gray in her hair the only thing giving away her age.

"I am sorry about that, I heard the doors-Laura? Laura Sunderland?"

Surprise, surprise. Just add this to the long list of crazy crap that's happened in the last 24 hours. "Yeah, how the hell did-"

She held up her hands, interrupting me. "I'm Dr. Sarah Richard and I was the M.E. for your father. I have a picture of you and all of your information in a file on my desk. I was supposed to be the one to notify you but I was swamped with paperwork so Dr. Torres called you instead. I'm sorry for your loss."

God I hated that cookie-cutter response. "You... were the one who examined my dad?"

Nodding, her intense green eyes glanced at my black clothing, putting two and two together. "I am. I'm working with Detective Holland on his case."

"His case? What is there to figure out?" My voice sounded hollow even to me. "He was crazy and killed himself. Case closed."

Walking to the door, she picked the wrench off the floor and stuck it through the handles, essentially locking it. She seemed to be choosing her words carefully. My stomach suddenly twisted and this time it wasn't from hunger.

"The initial report indicated that yes, it was a suicide. My examination told me as much yet some... new evidence has surfaced. It may prove this was not a suicide but a homicide. In my professional opinion, I don't think your father killed himself."

"What?!"

I knew it! I freaking knew it! This changes everything!

Last week flashed in my mind like an old VHS tape on rewind. Detective Holland knocking at my door. The empty apartment. That gray lifeless room. Him, lying on the table. The dreams. Today, at his funeral. I was right, there was no way in hell James would kill himself! But this feeling... I haven't felt like this since I found out the truth about Mary... I... I couldn't take it. My heart was about to explode and become more dead than that dead thing back in the Dr.'s Lounge. I started to hyperventilate and Dr. Richard gave me an odd look, as if I was one of her mental patients.

"Here, sit." She grabbed the chair from the desk and slid it forward. Motioning with her hand, she guided me as I sat down heavily. "I know this is a lot to process. Especially today, of all days."

I really tried not to cry but damn it, the tears fell anyway. Dr. Richard handed me a tissue box as I started sobbing. Not the cute dabbing-the-corner-of-your-eye-like-on-TV-sobbing but the snot-dripping-and-choking-kind-of-sobbing. I wiped my eyes. Shit, there goes my eyeliner. I'm sure she was used to this. As a doctor she's told people they were going to die. She's told people their loved ones weren't getting better. She's told people their fathers didn't commit the heinous sin of suicide, thus not leaving their adopted daughters alone by choice...

Hate. Anger. Grief. Despair. Hopelessness. Loneliness. That aching, hollowed-out feeling I've had in the pit of my stomach since I found out about James's death... it was all misdirected. It should have been directed at a murderer, at a butcher all along but not at James, never at James. He kept his promise after all... James, please forgive me for ever doubting you. James...

A hand touched my shoulder. Dr. Richard sighed before saying, "Laura, I understand you need time to grieve for your father but I think it's best if we get going. Something... very strange is going on here in the hospital and it might be safer if we left."

Oh God, she didn't know. It wasn't just this damn hospital, it was the entire damn town. Reality or at least some twisted version of it came crashing down all around me. This didn't quite change everything. Silent Hill was still caught in an eternal night where monsters roamed the empty streets. James was still gone and I still had no freaking idea why "Maria" was cut into his Goddamned arm.

Shit. She was right, we had to get the hell out of here. Swallowing my tears I stood up, startling Dr. Richard. I probably looked like a complete mess but I needed to make her understand. "You're the second person to try and get me to leave. It might not be as safe as you think."

"Who else have you spoken with?" The hope in her voice sobered me up a bit. If she was this excited to hear about another human being... what was she so afraid of? Oh Jesus, I guess I'd better give her the long version.

"Um, it might be your turn to sit, Dr. Richard. This is going to take a while..."

Time passed in that weird way it does here in Silent Hill. It could've been hours or it could've been minutes. I had turned off my phone to conserve the battery and I noticed the clock above the door was broken. I started from the very beginning, from the moment I met that bastard Detective Holland. Dr. Richard crossed her arms and remained standing, listening quietly. However, when I got to the part about being chased by the monster, she sat down heavily like I had. The more I went on the more she was becoming agitated, frowning and furrowing her face. She hadn't asked a single question but I could tell her mind was reeling. Yep, I knew that feeling. Though I told her about the monster, I decided not to tell her about the beating heart in the lounge fridge. I already sounded crazy enough, I didn't want her to think she should turn around and commit me to a straightjacket.

"...so I figured I'd go to the second floor and look for Nurse Rachel. That's... about all of it."

She remained quiet. I actually felt pretty sorry for her. It's one thing to think you're losing your damn mind but another to realize reality was so much worse than the madness you thought you were suffering from. The silence stretched between us but for once I didn't care. She gave me a minute so I gave her one. Taking off her glasses, she rubbed her eyes, sighing again. After a while she put them back on, and stood, her eyes once again calm and piercing.

"Then it's everywhere. I know Maria and Tony and I'm glad they're alright." She peered at me over her glasses in that doctor way and made me feel slightly guilty, like I was a patient who hadn't heeded her advice. "They're good people. Despite Maria's... business, she's an honest, wonderful person. Tony hasn't been back in town since he became a detective but he is a good kid. Always polite and caring. You shouldn't have run from him, Laura, he was only trying to help."

"Oh, really?" Damn, just when I thought I was going to like her. "Let me ask you something, Dr. Richard. Are you an orphan?" She shook her head. "Then you have no idea what it's like. I was one of the lucky ones. The stories we heard about foster homes were horror stories. At least in the orphanage I never went hungry and I got my own bed to sleep in. That's when I was little. Do you really think anyone is going to want a teenage orphan to take care of?"

She lowered her gaze. Good. I wasn't screwing with her. I would never suffer the fate of an unwanted, unloved orphan. Never again. If she mentioned Detective Holland one more time…

"I suppose you are right, on some level." Looking back at me, she adopted that doctor's tone again. "But given the severity of the situation, do you think it was wise to run back out onto the very street where you saw that thing?"

"Hey, if I hadn't run off and come to the hospital, then you'd still be hiding behind that curtain. Something else would've found you and you would've needed a lot more than a wrench."

Dr. Richard shook her head. "Are you always this stubborn?"

"I've been told on occasion that I am."

"I'm sure on more than one. Anyway, I happen to agree with you. Let's go to the second floor and look for Rachel. But if she's not there, we leave. My apartment isn't far and once we're safe, we can figure out what our next step is. Deal?"

What choice did I have? Running around this Goddamned place by myself didn't sound very pleasant so I might as well take her up on her deal. I shrugged. That's as close a promise as she was getting out of me. She nodded and made her way to the door. Gripping the wrench she glanced back at me.

"Ready?"

"Yeah. Let's get this over with."

Dr. Richard pulled the wrench free and pulled open the door. Taking my phone from my pocket I turned it back on and hit the flashlight app. Once it was on we entered the hallway together. Silent. Dead silent. The door swung shut and we were at the mercy of my light. As long as the battery didn't die, we were okay. I glanced down at the battery icon. Forty percent. Shit.

We turned right and began walking slowly. I stuck to Dr. Richard's side but still gave her wide enough berth in case she needed to swing that wrench. I really, really hoped she wasn't going to need it. The staircase was located at the end of the hallway, which was completely and utterly obscured by darkness. Dr. Richard's sneakers squeaked louder than my boots and I bit back the urge to yell at her to take them off.

At least the silence and darkness was made bearable by having someone else with me. Nothing jumped out at us and we were almost to the staircase. Finally! We made it to the door. Choosing to ignore the elevator right next to us, I let out a sigh of relief at the same time Dr. Richard did and we giggled. I don't know if it was because of the absurdity or the abject horror of the situation, but it felt good to release some tension.

"After you, Laura."

"Thanks, Dr. Richard. Don't mind if I do."

I reached out and tried the handle. It was unlocked! Shove it Murphy's law! Yanking the door open I bounded up a couple of steps with Dr. Richard right behind me when she suddenly stopped.

"Laura, wait. I think... someone's here."

"What?"

"I just heard a door open down the hallway. Maybe they need help."

"No, it's not what you think. We need to- Dr. Richard!"

Before I could grab her, she turned and hurried back down the steps and out the door. I hesitated for just a second then against my better judgment, I followed her. She turned to me and pointed down the hallway.

"See? Someone else is here! Hello! We're down here!"

"Shhh! What the hell are you doing?" I hissed as I grabbed her wrist and tried to pull her back to the staircase but she wouldn't budge.

Dr. Richard looked like she was about to scold me when some shuffling noises echoed down the hallway. Raising my phone, I tried to peer into the darkness but I couldn't see anything. The panic I had managed to rein in back at Heaven's Night was now chomping at the bit.

"Forget it. Let's get the hell out of here!"

"Just wait a moment, Laura. It looks like... Dr. Torres? Is that you?" Dr. Richard called out softly.

Low gurgling sounds drifted toward us. I could just make out a figure in a white lab coat ambling towards us. For just a split second, I thought Dr. Richard was right. Maybe we had finally found another human being caught in the same terrible mess we were in. But as the figure came closer, I saw how horribly wrong we were.

"That's not Dr. Torres." I whispered. "That's a nightmare."