It was still raining hard. Banri huddled under the hospital blanket. He didn't know why he had a bad premonition. The surgery was going to be fairly easy, and he knew that Hyodo would always be with him no matter what, but he was still afraid of something. He didn't understand what... He couldn't fall asleep all night, turning from side to side, and dozed off only at dawn.
Hyodo came as he had promised. They were chatting quietly about theatre when Banri's oncologist entered the ward and said that he wanted to talk to them both about something important.
The burn center has a patient who died overnight from burns of 70 per cent of her body, - the doctor began. – She'd gotten into a car crash. Her brain is already dead, but her womb is still alive. That said, there is a possibility of transplanting her womb to you, Settsu-san, if you consent, of course.
Staggered, Banri tensed unwittingly. Juza's jaw also dropped for a moment. The doctor's suggestion sounded absurd and crazy.
I don't want to turn into a woman, Otori-sensei. Sorry, – Banri responded dryly.
Let me explain to you, – said the doctor dutifully. – It's impossible to turn into a woman if you weren't born one. Impossible from the point of view of both genetics and neuropsychology. However, certain physical and psychological changes do occur due to the considerable change in the hormonal balance.
How's that? What d'you mean? – Juza and Banri asked, genuinely concerned.
Psychologically, you'll remain a man anyway because your brain was formed and developed in the male type. But, a decrease in the testosterone level due to the removal of your testicles on the one hand, and an increase in the estrogen level due to the acquisition of the donor ovaries on the other hand, will lead to physical and emotional changes. By physical changes I mean a reduction in muscle mass, strength and body hair, as well as an increase in body fat and breast tissue. The emotional changes consist in becoming more emotionally sensitive, more empathic and tender, but at the same time more moody and weepy.
Alright, okay, but why are you suggesting this to me? – Banri was still perplexed.
You're going to have full penectomy and orchiectomy, which means that your reproductive organs will be removed, – the doctor continued to explain. – The womb transplantation can potentially give you the ability to conceive a child. It would be the first surgery of this kind performed on a human. If it is successful, which is approximately 50 percent chance, then in the future it might become possible for infertile men, as well as infertile women, to get pregnant and give birth in a natural way.
But what if it's not successful? – Banri asked with concern.
Well, the transplanted womb may survive, but remain non-functioning in your body. In the worst case, your body can reject it, but it's very unlikely.
Why? – Banri and Juza asked together.
The main prerequisites for the successful surgery are your and that patient's blood and histological test results, – the doctor responded. – They show that you both have the same blood type, and moreover, your and that patient's stem cells are genetically compatible.
That's all good, but, – Banri argued. – Suppose the surgery is successful, then I'll have that woman's womb with her eggs. Then it means that if I were to get pregnant, I'd be carrying that woman's child, but not my own!
You're correct, Settsu-san, but not entirely, – the doctor said thoughtfully. – True, it's that woman's genes, and not yours, that would be passed on to the child, along with your partner's genes, because her eggs contain her genetic material. But think about it, it's you whose body would provide everything necessary for the fetus to form, grow and then be born. It's you who would give life to this child. So it would be your child, not someone else's.
Yeah, I get it, thank you, Otori-sensei. But, – Banri was still unsure. – We don't even know that woman! We don't know who she was or what she looked like… How can I agree to have her womb transplanted to me if I've never even seen her?
Well, from what we've established so far, she was a young woman, about 28-30 years old, without any serious medical conditions, had never been pregnant. Average height, slim, blonde hair. The police are currently trying to identify her and her husband, who also died as a result of burns to most of his body.
Can you give me some time to think about it together with my partner? – Banri asked the doctor, laying his hand on Juza's shoulder.
Yes, of course. It is your and your partner's decision, which will be respected. But please keep in mind that you have less than an hour to decide. By no means am I rushing you, but if the uterine tissues die before transplantation, which is inevitable within a few hours, the chances of successful surgery are slim to none.
I got it. Thank you for explaining everything to us, Otori-sensei. – Banri answered before the doctor left them alone in the ward, and then looked over at Juza. – Well, what do you think of all this?
I don't know, – Juza frowned a little. – It's like a kick in the head to me... I can't decide for you, it's your body. But I'm fine with any decision you make.
Ugh! Hyodo, you're offloading it on me! – Banri said peevishly and then sighed. – What do I do?.. Reduction in muscle mass, increased body fat and breast tissue... I ain't wanna look like a woman!
Well, then you'll have to work out more, that's it. You've been shirking physical training so far, – Juza huffed-out good-humouredly.
Tch. Looks like I'll have to go to a gym... – Banri grumbled and then mused aloud: – On the other hand, why not take the chance? I have nothing to lose now, do I?.. My body's gonna change either way… You know, I don't know why, but I have a strange feeling that I should do it, though I'm not sure...
Banri fell silent and looked down pensively, his brow furrowing slightly. The strange, inexplicably disturbing feeling he had last night that something bad might happen or had even already happened, still didn't leave him, but the other, opposite feeling that he shouldn't throw away the chance that fate bestowed upon him, was prevailing. At last, Banri looked up at Juza.
Alright, I decided. I'll go for it.
Okay, – Juza said calmly. – Shall I go call back the doctor?
Uh-huh, – Banri nodded resolutely.
Juza left the ward and returned ten minutes later with the doctor, who handed Banri some paperwork to read and then sign.
Please come to the operating room in twenty minutes, – said the doctor before taking the signed documents and leaving the ward.
That's it, no turning back now. – Banri sighed and then gently cupped the bulge between his legs through the hospital gown. – Farewell, my lil' buddy. I'll miss you...
Wordlessly, Juza put his arm around Banri's shoulders to comfort him, and stared into the distance. These were the last minutes separating them both from the new, uncertain future that lay ahead of them...
At last, Banri got up from the hospital bed and, putting his feet in slippers, made his way to the operating room. Juza walked beside him, supporting Banri with one hand. Stopping in front of the door, Banri turned around and anxiously looked at Juza. He was now scared of the surgery...
Settsu, don't panic. Breathe deeply, like this. I'll wait for you here, okay? – Juza reassuringly patted him on the shoulder and then, seeing Banri's pleading eyes, hugged him and pecked a light, tender kiss on his lips.
Okay, – Banri said, more to himself, and, letting go of Juza, opened the door and entered the operating room, his legs almost giving way. The sterile, antiseptic smell of the room, the sophisticated mechanical operating table, and these four people in surgical gowns and masks altogether were producing a frightening effect.
Hello, Settsu-san, – said a burly tall man, holding his gloved hands up at the chest level while one of the assistants was adjusting his attire. – Please put on the bouffant cap and lie down on the operating table.
This is Doctor Fujita. He'll be performing your surgery. – said another assistant and handed Banri a strip of compactly compressed thin white fabric.
Please take care of me, – Banri responded, bowing his head politely, but his voice and hands trembled a little.
Don't worry, Doctor Fujita is a very experienced surgeon, everything will be fine. Here we go, –the assistant helped Banri open the cap and put it on his head, and then gently ushered him to the operating table.
Banri lay down on the table, and another assistant placed an anesthesia breathing mask on his face. He felt gloved hands roll up the hem of his hospital gown to his chest before his eyelids came down and he fell into a deep slumber.
When he awakened, he saw Hyodo dozing on the stool next to him, leaning on the hospital bed in the ward he was in before.
Hyodo, oi, Hyodo, – Banri called, feeling weakness and dull pain in his body.
Huh?.. Settsu... How're you feeling? – Juza said drowsily, waking up as well.
Well... Not great, but it's normal, I guess... I had a strange dream while I was sleeping under anesthesia, – Banri said quietly.
What dream? – Juza asked through yawning.
Like, my sister came to me and hugged me tightly, and then she said, like, everything'll be fine and that I shouldn't feel sad, and then she disappeared in a bright light.
Yeah, sounds a bit strange, – Juza nodded his head a little. – By the way, while you were sleeping, Otori-sensei told me that the police had identified your donor and her husband. The woman's name was Noguchi Ayane, and her husband's name was Noguchi Daisuke. They were travelling to Arima hot springs.
Banri's mouth fell open in shock as he stared numbly into space for a moment.
What's wrong? – Juza asked worriedly.
It's nee-chan... – Banri said, his voice almost cracking. – Nee-chan and her husband... They were travelling to hot springs…