Hello!

Okay, can we talk about Derek as a child/teen for a moment? Derek's clearly presented as a cool, attractive, confident guy in canon grey's so I feel like we're supposed to assume that he was like that as a child, but there are a few scenes dropped in there that make me convinced that Derek was, and inside still is, just an awkward nerd (and no shade to awkward people or nerds, I am most definitely both). Anyway, I adore this kinda-headcanon, so we're actually exploring that a bit in today's chapter.

Enjoy! :)

"This reminds me of something."

"Yeah?" He hummed, as if he wasn't thinking the same thing.

"Mmm. Fireworks by the sea, sitting on your lap, sunset-" She listed off. "Except last time, I had two broken toes, and you weren't my boyfriend."

"Well, I was for half of it. After you told me you wanted to be my girlfriend." He said as he wrapped his hands tighter around her, pulling her onto his lap a little more. God, how did he get so, so lucky?

"I love you." She said as she looked to him, away from the sky, and kissed him. "So much. So freaking much. More than that day, somehow."

Derek smiled, but then it faded. "Are you sure? I didn't win you a llama."

"I know. But you made Jen endlessly happy, and that makes me happy." She replied before looking back to the sky as another firework erupted.

"Are you sure you didn't want anything though?"

"That's the hundredth time you've asked- I'm okay, and we can't really take it back with us anyway because both of our bags are absolutely packed." She explained. "I'm happy with the little yo-yo I won myself."

"Derek." She breathed, pausing while Jen and Harry hurried off to the stalls.

He paused, and turned round. "Yeah?"

"I've-" She swallowed, and continued at a whisper, "I've never been to a carnival or arcade before."

"Oh." He breathed, although he wasn't sure he was that surprised. She hadn't done a lot of things most people did every week as a child, and it broke his heart every time. "It's okay. I'll teach you. They're quite simple. Simpler than a running whipp or a matress suture and you can do those."

She giggled. "I'm not a hundred percent sure about that, but...yeah. Okay."

"We'll start-" He paused as he looked around. "We'll go over there. Yo-yos as prizes, fancy a go?"

"Um-" She swallowed. She was terrified; it was a little embarrassing to be so new to this as someone in their mid-twenties. "Okay."

She pulled the yo-yo out of her pocket. "Now all I need to do is learn how to yo-yo."

"Yeah." He agreed in a small voice.

"Do you know how to yo-yo?" She asked, holding out to him. His response was...strange.

He stared at it for a long, long time. "Uh...no."

Her brow creased. "Why are you lying about knowing how to yo-yo?"

"It's...I'm not- just...don't worry."

"Don't worry about my boyfriend lying about the fact he doesn't know how to yo-yo?" She repeated. "I couldn't even begin to think of a reason why you'd lie about that; now I'm worried."

He sighed, and took it. "Fine. For you."

She smirked, and slipped off of his lap so he would have some more space. "So...you gonna do it or what?" She asked impatiently when he didn't move, just holding the yo-yo in what she pretty sure what some kind of starting position.

"Yeah." He sighed before reluctantly agreeing, "I suppose so."

"Why are you-" She paused when he started.

Sweet Jesus.

What. The. Hell?

What. The. Freaking. Hell?

"There you go." He sighed once he'd finished. "Yo-yo-ing. Done. Now, please take it back."

She couldn't speak for a long, long time. Her jaw was dropped too wide.

"Meredith?"

"Why in the freaking world do you know how to do that?" She exclaimed. "What the hell! Do you just know how to do everything?"

"No."

"Yes! I mean, what don't you know how to do?"

"I can't walk." He stated pointedly.

She opened her mouth to reply to that, only to falter, and then break into laughter. "Derek- seriously?"

"Seriously." He agreed. "Why, did you think the chair was just a fun accessory?"

"Be serious!" She exclaimed through her giggles. "Why do you know how to do that? How? What? When? I don't- just give me anything to explain that."

"I was a weird, weird kid, Meredith." He explained.

"I don't even- I mean, what was that? It was like-" She paused. She couldn't even begin to describe what he had done. "You know it went like- up, and down, and to the side, and then like...it was like doing backflips or something- I don't even know what was going on."

"Yeah." He agreed.

"You were reluctant because you are good at it?"

"It's a strange thing to be good at. And...oh, god, I'm just gonna admit it- I came second...junior division, international championships in uh- 19...92."

"Came second in what?"

"Uh...just-" He sighed. "There was yo-yo-ing."

"Right." She breathed.

"And-" He paused. "Some magic tricks."

"Okay."

"And, finally, everyone's favorite-" He sighed. "I can juggle."

She grinned, "Juggle?"

"I used to be able to like- go round in circles, toss them all over the place- including like, under the knee but-" He grapsed his thigh and lifted his leg a little, and then let it fall back down. "You know, doesn't really sound do-able nowadays."

She couldn't respond to that.

"I also won the spelling bee nationals when I was 12, was 1st sax at all-state band, and did varsity hockey. I can also solve a rubicks cube in maximum- forty-five seconds, which at least looks impressive, even if it isn't that shocking of a time."

She continued to stare at him, agape. "I'm sorry, uh- that's lovely, and shocking in itself but- uh- can we just go back to the bit where you're a yo-yo-ing, juggling magician?"

"No. No, we can't go back to the yo-yos."

"Please." She begged.

"Meredith-"

"Pretty, pretty please!" She begged again, trying her best puppy dog eyes.

He sighed. "Fine. It...it started when I was five-"

"You okay?" He asked as they both fell silent. They had (or rather Meredith had) spent the last half an hour laughing as he explained his story, but they were both very quiet now.

"Yeah." She smiled a little. "I'm fine."

"You sure?" He pushed. He kissed her. "You want to break up with me now you know?"

"No, of course not. I think it is...you are wonderful."

"So what's wrong?" He asked softly, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear so he could see her better.

"I've been thinking about earlier...on the beach." She swallowed. "You've never really...like- I know that you were in a horrible accident and I know from what you've said about how long you were recovering for that your injuries were really, really serious but just-"

"When you hear it like that, it's different." He finished for her.

She sighed. "Jen is right. I don't understand how you're here right now either. I can't even comprehend you breathing right now. I mean...we have patients all the time that have just like...one of those injuries and they don't make it. And thinking about that freaks the hell out of me. All the time. But-"

"I'm here."

She smiled so hard that she swore her eyes watered a little. "You're here."

"Remember...I said I wanted to talk." He reminded her after a moment.

"Oh." She breathed. She had been worried for a while after that, but it had totally slipped her mind. "Yeah."

"It's good news." He reassured her. "Or...maybe not."

"Not good news?"

"Well, it's amazing news. But...you might be a little- I don't know, salty?"

"Why am I going to be salty?"

"You know Max Esti?"

"Uh- what was he, a cardiothoracic surgeon?"

"Mmm mmm." He agreed, pulling his phone out of his pocket. "You know they set up an award up in his name?"

She faltered. "Derek-"

"This morning...uh- I got this email." He swallowed. "Um- as I'm sure you're aware, the judgement date for the Max Esti award was the first of April. However, you may also be aware that one of our contenders was disqualified. When seeking out someone to take their place, we caught wind of one of your surgeries. Despite the fact that this occured after our usual closing date of the first of January, due to these unexpected circumst-"

"You've been nominated for a Max Esti award?"

He smiled. "Maybe."

"Oh my god! Derek!" She shook him a little at the shoulders. "This is amazing! Oh my god!"

He smirked. He couldn't help it.

"God- I want to tell the world. My boyfriend has been nominated for a Max Es-" She paused. "Wait-"

"What?"

"Why am I salty?" She asked with a creased brow.

"Well you seemed quite outraged when I revealed I'm secretly a professional juggler, yo-yo-er and magician. I didn't know if you'd feel the same way about this. You know, because I can apparently do everything ever and I can see why that's infuriating."

"You know why I don't mind?"

"Why?" He asked, although he was pretty sure he knew the answer.

"Because there will always be one thing I can do, that you can't." She explained. "And, that, of course- is walking."

He pouted for a second. "Just for that, I'm going to spend the next fifty years researching SCIs to find a cure. Not because I want to walk, not because I'm bothered about any of it at all...just so I can beat you at everything you do."

She smirked. "Yeah, sure you are."

He shared her smile before it dropped a little, "Speaking of careers, there's something else-"

"Derek, please don't tell me you're quitting surgery again. Jesus, you can't get an award like that and th-"

"No. More surgery, not less."

"You're changing your hours?"

"After this nomination, after Harry telling me he has formed some kind of fan group for me, after...everything that happened with the ferry boat accident and my surgery, after Helen's actual surgery- I think I've changed a little." He swallowed. "I'm thinking...examining the evidence, maybe I'm a little better at surgery than I thought."

"Derek, you're the youngest head of neurosurgery in America, you must be good."

"Dr Chen of New York General is the actually youngest, not me." He corrected instantly. He was second youngest.

"I know. But Dr Chen didn't spent almost two years of his life in rehab and hospital. That's just what makes you even more freaking amazing, Derek."

"Thank you." He said earnestly after a second of silence.

"There is no need for 'thank you's when I'm just telling the truth." She replied. "Now...this plan of yours-"

"Right. Well uh- what I'm going to do is-" He swallowed. He was rather nervous about this. "I'm putting out a call for...people who get told no. I'm gonna try. I'm gonna...see if I can do what I did for Helen on everyone I possibly can."

"Impossible tumours?"

"Impossible tumours, difficult conditions- anything where people don't get to hope. And you were hammered but at the wedding I talked to this little girl who...told me that my chair was as boring as her having glasses and- her reaction stopped my heart for a second so...I think I'm especially interested in...paediatric neurology, neuroncology."

She smiled. "Curing kids with brain tumours?"

"Good idea?"

She kissed him. "Using your freaking incredible neurosurgical talent to save kids with brain surgery? Amazing idea. Incredi-freaking-ble idea."

He smiled. She wasn't just supportive, she was encouraging.

"And you too-"

"What?" He asked.

She kissed him once again. "Your surgeries are good, but you are freaking incredible too. You are amazing. And...what did I say? Incredi-freaking-able...because that's definitely a word."

He laughed; he did think that the first time too. "Thank you."

"Remember what I said-" She scolded.

"Right." He grinned. "There is no need for thank yous when all you're doing is telling the truth."

"I love you, incredible brainman."

He kissed her, and pulled her further onto his lap once more, envoping her in a tight hug.