When Meredith left the room, the last thing she expected was to find Derek outside. Really, she should have expected that; he was always there for her, and that was exactly the kind of thing he'd be there for, but she felt that way nevertheless. In fact, after dating secretly him for months and months, she was still surprised every time he approached her in public.
"How was it? Did you finish? Do you think it went okay? Did you have time to check your answers? Is there any you want to check with me now while you still remember the questions or-"
"Hey, hey-" Meredith interrupted with a grin. "I'm the one who just took a test to determine their future, not you- Breathe, Derek, breathe."
He sighed. "Fine. But say something, quick before I explode!"
She giggled. How could someone possibly be this anxious about a test they didn't even take? It was a tad alarming, but also so, so freaking sweet that he cared about her that much. "It went well, I think. Some I know were right...maybe a few I knew were wrong, but not that many. I finished every question, and I had twenty minutes at the end to go over them all."
"So...it's okay? You're okay?"
"I'm okay." She reassured him, before dropping her voice, conscious of the large crowd around them. No one there didn't know they were together, but she still didn't want to announce her every move. "I love you, and I really don't want to disappoint you right now...but- I think I'm gonna go with my friends and the other interns. You know...for a post-exam freak-out. I'm sure you did it in high school when you sat your exams and stuff."
He nodded. "Of course. Every time."
"So...I'll just see you later, yeah? Is that okay?"
He smiled as he waved her off. "Of course. Enjoy your post-exam freak-out, Mer."
"So...who are we betting?"
"Alex-" George sighed.
"What? If I'm repeating intern year, I'd rather do it a little richer." He said with a smirk, before throwing his dart. "Not that I'm repeating intern year in a million years, but, you know."
"You're that confident, huh?" Cristina asked. "Are you sure?"
Izzie laughed. "She's trying to get into your head, Alex, ignore her."
"Well, personally, I think I aced it." Cristina said. "At least...a 90."
"90?" George repeated. "You sure about that?"
"Why? Don't believe me?" Cristina asked with a creased brow. "Fine. I'll make myself some money. Five hundred bucks I get over 90."
"Do you even have five hundred?"
"Do you?" Cristina questioned back.
"Uh-" George paused. Crap. "No."
"How about you, Mer?" Izzie asked, noticing she was awfully quiet as she lent against the wall, watching the rest of her friend play. "I know you said a bit about it, but anything else?"
"I think it's safe to say I did not get over 90, and even if I was hopeful-" She joined them, and quickly took a second to throw her dart. Admittedly, she rather sucked as it. "-I certainly wouldn't bet five hundred that I would. Not as confident as some people."
Cristina smiled. "Well, guilty as charged."
Meredith smiled. "Okay, well, talking about us potentially getting kicked out the programme is lovely and all...but I need more alcohol to do it for any longer. Be back in a minute."
Izzie nodded, and watched her as she left.
"Hey, Joe."
He smiled. "Same again?"
She smiled back. "Same again."
"So...how are you feeling?"
"I'm terrified out my mind. But other than that I'm great."
"Well, alcohol will do that to you."
She smirked as she raised her glass to him before drinking it. "You're certainly right about that."
"Don't tell me you want another one now though."
"Mmm...probably a bad idea. Derek told me he wouldn't be happy if I got liver disease and died, and I think he's probably right that it would be a pretty terrible thing."
Joe nodded. "Well, I'd certainly listen to the man."
She gave a quick smile to the man as a goodbye before slipping off of the stool and returning to darts.
"You better now, Mer?"
"Mmm."
"So..." Izzie swallowed. "I invited um- Dr Shepherd to dinner."
"Oh." George breathed. "Right, I...guess that makes sense."
"What can I do to make you not freak out every time you hear his name?" Meredith asked. "Look, we...we do indeed have sex, we kiss, we go out on dates, we hold hands, we spoon, we laugh at terrible comedy together, we adopted a dog together, I own half of his bed- we just- we're just a couple. A normal couple. That's all. But if you don't think that's all, let me know- what do you want to ask? Literally anything at all."
"Do you actually have sex? Or are you lying because you think we'll judge you?"
"We do actually have sex. Rather alarmingly often, if you want me to be completely honest."
"But...How do you have sex?" He pressed next.
"Alex!" Izzie chided. "That is not what she meant."
"He has an incomplete spinal cord injury. He can do everything you can do, Alex, and probably more - Izzie doesn't rave about you often enough to convince me you're overly special-"
Cristina couldn't help her snort, while Izzie covered her mouth, and Alex frowned at her, "Hey!"
She snorted. That was...perhaps a little harsh. "The only difference...is that we have it a little backwards because he's a little limited by mobility, and that we can't try do every position out there. That's all." She summarised. "Anything else? Or did you just want to her about how we do it?"
"Question."
Meredith turned around at that, to see a man with his hand up. "Dallias."
"Have you dated someone like that before, or is this new to you?"
Her brow creased. "This is my first time."
"Is it good? Are you enjoying it?"
"I am." She agreed tentatively.
"Tell me then- what are the advantages? Are there any? Or is it only good when you're a weirdo who has a thing for dating that kind of person."
"Oh, piss off, Dallias." Cristina said. Meredith didn't mind that she didn't get to reply herself; there was so much that was wrong with that sentence that she didn't even know how to respond.
"God, Yang. You're not very kind."
"And you're not very smart. Meredith didn't offer to answer your questions, and even if she did, that's not the kind of questions she was looking for. Got it?"
He rolled his eyes. "Whatever."
Alex snorted. "Right. Well, I gotta say I know I'm betting for now."
"Kinda forget he even existed."
"And that's definitely not a good thing when it comes to this. Even the quiet ones I remember, I just...don't remember him because he's never there doing procedures. Hasn't been authorised to do anything but observe yet."
"You okay, Mer?" Izzie asked. She looked a little stunned.
She nodded. "Yeah. Fine."
"We're sorry about Alex. He was joking...partially."
"No, no. It's fine. I want you guys to be comfortable and I get that it's a question that's gonna come up- well, with Alex at least. Just-" She sighed. "Remember that I'm new to this too, okay? I had all the thoughts you guys are having right now when I found myself being attracted to him, so I get it."
Izzie smiled as she nodded. "You make a good point."
"I do." Meredith agreed. "Now, time for more alcohol!"
"I know you're just going to tell me to shut up, but just try and think about the fact that worrying isn't going to change anything, okay?"
She looked up. "What?"
"There's no point worrying about your test. You can't do anything now."
"Oh. I...I know."
His brow creased. She sounded so genuine. "Then what's up?"
"Are people rude to you a lot?"
"Sometimes."
"How often is sometimes?" She pressed. His answer was not at all useful to her.
He didn't answer for a long second, thinking. "It's difficult to quantify. Sometimes it's a proper verbal confrontation, sometimes it's just some funny looks."
"Is it not tiring?"
He grinned, but not because what she had said was funny. "Yes. It's freaking exhausting. All the time. I'd love to just have nice exchanges with my colleagues and patients. And strangers."
"Do you think it's weird that I'm in love with you?"
"Well...yes. We're both very aware of my crippling self-esteem, so, yes, most definitely, I do think it's weird that someone as beautiful and intelligent as you is in love with...me. But you also make me very aware of this difference between who I see and who you see so-" He sighed. "I don't know. It's all very confusing. I know that you think I'm worthy. But knowing it doesn't make me know."
She smiled. "I don't think it's weird that I'm in love with you. I think it's weird that no one else in love with you. But- glad. I'm really glad. Not...not that you'd ever cheat on me, but...you know."
"What about Jen?"
"She's married."
"Well, that's what I thought but she actually just flew from Cali and, before you came home, we made love...oh- and we're eloping tomorrow."
She hit him, albeit likely, as they laughed together.
"You're not funny, Derek."
"And, yet again, just like when we met Jen- I have to remind you that you spend most of your time around me giggling. I can't not be funny."
She sighed as she grinned, before it faded. "Sit on the bed with me. I want to hold you."
He smiled, and followed her instruction. He loved the sound of a cuddle. "So, do you-" He paused abruptly when her hands wrapped round him, and he felt his air being squeezed from his lungs.
"I love you."
"I love you too." He agreed, although he was a little hesitant. Her hug was...too tight. Too desperate. "Are you doing okay?"
"T...tell me again."
"Tell you-" He attempted to prompt.
"That you love me. No matter what."
He swallowed. "I love you. I'd love you if you failed once, I'd love you if you repeated intern year fifty times, I'd love you if you...quit and worked at Walmart- although, I'd probably encourage you to at least be a nurse or an orderly or something like that if you weren't up for surgery. I promise- I would and will love you forever."
She smiled a little as she released him. "Thank you."
He smiled back, although he was rather conflicted by how desperate she was to know that he still loved her. "No 'thank you's for the truth, remember?"
She kissed him. "Oh, yes. I remember."