a/n: I'm sorry about the long time since the last update. I had a bad case of writer's block. Also, I had some ideas for future chapters that were keeping me up at night so if I wanted to get any sleep, I had to write them. I've also had a pair of hurricanes to deal with and those are no fun at all. To make matters worse, I've been fighting an upper respiratory infection since early November. It's taken several different antibiotics and rounds of prednisone but I'm finally starting to feel better.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from me and the Purr Kids.
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When Mary joined Ben for some coffee before breakfast, he said, "I've been thinking about the letter my sister wrote to Cat and I need to look it over. I'm positive that there's something in it that Cat is too young to understand. If that letter contains what I think it does, I need to destroy it."
"I'm not sure what you're talking about."
"I think that Kate told her daughter why Michael went back into the Army. He hated the Army had had no intentions of fighting in the war."
"I'm confused. If Cat's father hated the Army, why did he accept a commission and serve in the war?"
"Catherine's Godfathers talked him into it. Kate threw them out of the house and told them she hated them and never wanted to see them again. Cat is only nine and I don't think she's ready to learn what her Godfathers did. I don't want her to grow up hating them. Sherman and Sheridan have been told that they are no longer welcome on the Ponderosa due to their attitude toward the Indians, but Grant will be here after Easter and I don't want Cat being upset with him at the party."
"I understand and agree with your decision. If the letter contains that information, do not destroy it. Put it away and give it to her when she's old enough to understand. That will give those men time to talk to Cat, try to explain their actions, and ask her forgiveness. If you destroy it and she finds out, she may never forgive you. Remember, that letter and the hope chest are all Cat has of her mother and destroying it would be a huge mistake. Cat won't be nine forever and it won't be too many more years until she's old enough to understand why her father left his wife and infant daughter to go back into the Army."
"Alright. I won't destroy the letter if it says what I think it does. I'll put it away and give it to Cat when she's fourteen or fifteen. Now, I know you want to go home and check on your three boys, but are you going to stay there or come back here? You are more than welcome to come back here if you want to. Cat seems to enjoy being mothered by you."
"Thank you. I'll put a menu together for several days' suppers and Daniel can cook them. Why don't you let me take Kate's letter home and read it there. That way Cat won't see you reading it and ask what it is. I'll bring it back and let you know if there's something in it she's not ready for yet."
"That's an excellent idea. Thank you. Once Cat is down here on the settee, I'll get the letter and put it with your things. Right now, I'm going out to the barn to see how much hay and grain we have. I may need to send the boys to get more."
Adam, Hoss, and Joe came downstairs shortly after Ben returned to the house. "Cat's still sleeping, so I left her in my bed," said Adam. "She was very frightened last night and may have thought the world was coming to an end."
"I don't know why she was so afraid of a little thundersnow," said Joe.
"Most likely because this was her first experience with it," replied Mary. "You were born here and have experienced it before. Ben, Adam, was Joe afraid the first time he experienced thundersnow?"
"Yes he was," replied Ben. "He was three and came into my and Marie's bedroom, dragging his pillow and blanket behind him. He acted as though he'd seen a ghost and when the thunder sounded again, climbed into bed between us and stayed there until the next morning."
"You see Joe," continued Mary. "You were very young and experienced something frightening to you. That's exactly what happened with your sister last night. The next time it happens, she won't be afraid because she'll know what it is."
"Boys," said Ben. "I looked in the barn and we need to get more hay, grain, and salt. This will probably be our last chance this winter and since there are no clouds in the sky, I want it done today. Joe, after breakfast, ride over to the Ingalls and ask Charles if he needs more hay and see if you can borrow his wagon again. Hoss, I want you to get some hands to go with you so you can take the three wagons and one buckboard. Adam, Hop Sing has a list of supplies we need from town, so I would like you to take one of the buckboards and get what we need. While you're there, go over to the school, talk to Susan and ask her for a list of Cat's lessons until Easter. Also, send a telegram to the Barkleys, tell them that you and Abel are taking Cat to Boston and other places, when you're leaving, and ask if you may use their rail car. Since she's going to bring her dogs and you and Abel are going to help her with her school work, it will be much easier for all of you if you can use their car."
"Why can't Adam just put Hop Sing's supplies on one of the wagons with the hay, grain, and salt?" asked Mary.
"We're not buying our hay from John Winter right now."
"May I ask why not?"
"I'm sure that Michael told you about the day when Seth and Jackson ripped up one of the school's copies ofLittle Women."
"Yes he did. That was the copy he was reading and Seth took it off of his desk."
"I had sent Joe into town with our feed order that day, the boys were in the shop and their mother was scolding them about being disrespectful to their teacher. According to Joe, she said that even I had asked why they were allowed to be so disrespectful to their teacher. The boys said some very disrespectful things about me and Cat, so Joe said he was going to take our feed order to Carson City. He came home and told me what happened, so I decided to teach Margaret a lesson and buy our hay, grain, and salt from Carson City. John and Margaret brought the boys out here the next morning to apologize for their comments, but both of them had their hands behind their backs with their fingers crossed. Needless to say, I did not accept their apology and when Margaret asked where the boys were, I told her that they were in Carson City buying our feed and I would continue buying it from there until she started disciplining her sons and teaching them right from wrong."
Mary laughed. "Oh, that is precious. I wish I had been here to see the look on Margaret's face when she realized how much money her sons had just cost her. If you don't mind, I'd like to tell Daniel when I get home."
"I don't mind, just please don't tell him that I expect everyone to buy from Carson City. I don't want to put John out of business, I just want Margaret to start letting him discipline their sons. If they don't learn right from wrong now, they're going to end up behind bars or dead."
"I agree and so does Dan. He said the same thing just before Christmas. Hopefully losing the Ponderosa's orders for a while will cause her to wake up and realize what a disservice she's doing those boys. At least she hasn't taught them that it's alright to steal like Ann White has done with her daughter."
Lassie came down to the landing and barked just as everyone was finishing their breakfast. "Mary, I'll get that letter and put it in your room while Cat is taking care of her needs. Since she's in Adam's room, she won't ask why I'm looking in her mother's hope chest."
"That's a good idea. While you're in her room, get clean underthings, long underwear and wool socks for her. Since she's been running a fever, it wouldn't be a bad idea to get her into clean clothes. Put them in Adam's room and I'll help her change."
Ben went upstairs to Adam's room and said, "Good morning Kitten. I'm sorry that the thundersnow frightened you last night. If I had known it was going to happen, I would have told you about it so you wouldn't be frightened. Unfortunately, we have no way of knowing when it will happen. I believe that the last time it happened was about a month after I returned home from taking you back to Dodge when you spent your first Christmas here. Mrs. Devlin said that you should put on some clean underthings, long underwear, and wool socks, so I'm going to go and get them for you while you're taking care of your needs. She said that she would help you change into clean clothes. After I get your clean things, I'll carry your blankets, pillow, and doll downstairs. I believe that Hop Sing already has water boiling so you can breathe steam before you eat breakfast."
"I don't want to breathe steam. I don't like it."
"I know you don't Sweetheart, but you're a very sick little girl and breathing the steam will help you get better. Don't forget what Mrs. Devlin told you yesterday. If you don't breathe the steam and drink the tea Hop Sing makes for you, Dr. Martin will give you some very bad tasting medicine to take and I know you don't want that.
"No! I hate taking bad tasting medicine. Mrs. Devlin doesn't need to help me get dressed. I'm almost ten and know how to get dressed."
"I know Sweetheart, but you are very sick and Mrs. Devlin is here to help you, so be polite and let her. I'll be back with your clean clothes in a few minutes."
Ben went into Cat's room, took her mother's letter out of the hope chest and got clean clothes for her. He took her clean clothes back to Adam's room and helped her back into bed. Then he put the letter in the room that Mary was using, went downstairs, told Mary what Cat had said and apologized for his daughter's attitude.
Mary laughed and said, "There's no need to apologize Ben. I can't tell you how many times I've heard similar words from my sons. I think the most common complaint goes something like this, 'Ma, I don't need help getting dressed. This is so embarrassing. What if the kids at school find out? I'll be teased from now until I graduate.' I'm going to go and help Cat. She'll grumble, but as I said, I'm used to it. I may even let her try to get dressed by herself and see if she asks for help." She entered Adam's bedroom and tried not to laugh at Cat trying to change clothes in bed. "It's not easy when you're sick, it is Sweetheart"?
"No. My long underwear is all tangled up and I can't fix it."
"Would you like some help?"
"Yes please."
Mary helped Cat change into clean clothes and got her back under her covers. "I'll send Ben and one of your brothers up to bring you and your pillow and blankets downstairs. I'm going to go home for a little while after breakfast, but I'll be back later to help you. I always wanted a little girl to mother and I am enjoying helping you get well again."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome. Now stay under the covers until someone comes up to get you. Remember, you need to stay warm so you can get well again." She went downstairs and sent Ben and Joe up to get Cat, he pillow, blankets, and doll.
Once Cat finished breathing steam and eating breakfast, she got up and started walking toward the door. "Where are you going?" asked Ben.
"I'm going to see Fury. I haven't seen him since before church on Sunday and I don't want him to forget me or think I don't love him anymore."
"You can't go outside right now. You are a very sick little girl and you will get sicker if I let you go outside. Remember, Paul said that you need to stay warm."
"But Fury will think I don't love him and forget me if I don't go and see him."
Before Ben could say anything else, Hoss motioned for him, Adam, and Mary to follow him to the dining room. "I got an idea on how little sister can see that colt of hers, 'cause she ain't gonna get any rest ifn she's worryin' about him."
"What is your idea son?"
"We can put her hat and coat on her and then put Adam's coat over hers. Then I'll go out to the barn and bring Fury up to the door so's she can spend a few minutes with him. The wind is blowin' from the back of the house, so's she won't get too cold."
"What do you think Mary? You've dealt with children who have bronchitis more than I have."
"I think it's a good idea. As Hoss said, Cat won't rest until she sees her colt. She'll be in the doorway and since the wind won't be blowing directly on her, she shouldn't get too cold."
"Alright Hoss. Let's make your sister happy and let her see her colt."
Adam went upstairs to get his coat as well as Cat's hat and coat while Hoss went out to the barn to get Fury. Hoss walked back into the house at the same time Adam returned to the great room. Cat looked at the things in his arms and asked, "Why do you have all of that stuff?"
"Because there's somebody at the door to see you. We're going to get you bundled up in your hat and coat and my coat so you can go and see your visitor."
"You only have five minutes to spend with your visitor," said Ben. "I know that you're going to want to spend more time with them, but as I reminded you earlier, you are very sick and need to rest and stay warm."
The got Cat all bundled up and watched as she opened the door. For just a moment, she stood there, surprised at what she saw. Then she squealed, "Fury! You're here and not in the barn!" She hugged and kissed the colt who pulled her into him with his head.
"I can't believe what I'm seeing," said Mary. "That colt is hugging her. I've never seen anything like it before."
"We're not sure why he does it, but we have two theories," said Ben. "Cat rescued him from a cougar during her mother's funeral. She also spent that night sleeping with him in the barn. All we know for sure is that colt loves Cat very much."
Adam drew several quick sketches of Cat and Fury hugging each other. Then Ben said, "Your five minutes are up Cat. Hoss needs to take Fury back to the barn and you need to get under the covers on the settee."
"Can I please bring Fury into the house for a while?"
"That's not a very good idea Cat," said Charles as he walked into the house, hugged her, and told her how cute she looked all bundled up in Adam's jacket. "There isn't any room for him in the house and he wouldn't be happy. He doesn't have any water or food in the house either. Why don't you let Hoss take him back to the barn and maybe you can see him again in a few days if you're not too sick. Don't worry, he loves you and isn't going to forget or stop loving you if you don't see him for a few days. The important thing is that he'll be much happier in the barn than in the house and you'll get well faster if you stay under the covers on the settee. Caroline and the girls send their love and hope you get well soon."
"But I love Fury and really want him to be in the house with me."
"I know you love him and if he were my colt and I loved him as much as you do, I would want him in the house with me too."
"Really Mr. Ingalls?"
"Really Cat. However, I know that he wouldn't be happy in the house. Look at how big he is and how little room there is in the house. Do you really want Fury to stay in the house and be unhappy?"
"No, I guess not."
"Good. Now give him another hug and kiss so Hoss can take him back to the barn and you can get under the covers on the settee. I know that you don't like being sick and you need a lot of rest so you will get well sooner."
"Ok. I'll let Fury go back to the barn, but I really want him to stay in the house."
"I know you do, and I am very proud of you for doing the right thing. Fury will be much happier in the barn than he would be in the house."
Once everyone had left for town and Carson City and Cat was sleeping soundly, Mary said, "Charles did your job and explained why bringing Fury into the house wasn't a good idea. You should have been the one explaining it to her."
"She shouldn't have even asked if she could bring that colt into the house."
"What is wrong with you Benjamin?" asked Abel. "Everyone knows how much she loves that colt and she keeps saying that she's afraid he's going to forget and stop loving her if she doesn't see him all the time. Just like with her dogs, she wants to take him to school every day. To the best of my knowledge, this is the first time in her life that she's had her own horse."
"The Apaches gave her a pony when she was four."
"Did she want to bring it into Matt's office?"
"I don't know. I wasn't there. Adam and Hoss took her back there from Arizona."
"Knowing Cat, she probably did," said Mary. "That means somebody had to explain why it wasn't a good idea."
"Missy Cat want to bring Fury into house ever since Missy Kate funeral," said Hop Sing, walking into the great room with a fresh pot of coffee. "Mr. Charles do good job telling her why that not good idea. Mr. Cartwright need to do better."
Before the discussion could continue, Cat woke up and was very upset. "Penny! Somebody's trying to hurt Penny! I have to stop them!" She got up off the settee and headed for the door.
Abel, Hop Sing, and Mary looked at Ben as though they were telling him to do the right thing.
"Hold on Kitten. You are very sick and will get sicker if you go outside dressed like that. I think you probably just had a bad dream, but I will go and check on your pig for you."
"Thank you. Will you please bring her into the house so nobody will hurt her?"
"No Cat. Penny needs to stay outside. She's much too big now to come in the house. I don't think anyone's trying to hurt her because your dogs would be very upset if that was happening. Give me a minute to get my coat and gloves and I will go and check on her for you." He went outside and when he returned to the house he said, "Penny is fine. She ate all of her food and drank some water. Your brothers turned her house so the opening is facing away from the wind and put a lot of straw in it so she'll stay warm. The only other person outside when I was with Penny was Pete and you know he wouldn't hurt your pig, so you must have had a bad dream. Do you feel better now?"
"Yes. Thank you for making sure Penny was alright."
"You're welcome Sweetheart. Now I think that Hop Sing is boiling some water so you can breathe steam and get well."
"I don't like breathing steam. It makes me cough."
"I understand. It's supposed to make you cough. You have stuff in your lungs that's making it hard for you to breathe. If you don't breathe steam and cough all of that stuff up, it will make you even sicker."
"I wish I could get better without breathing steam."
"I know you do, but the only other way would be to take Dr. Martin's nasty tasting medicine. So what do you want to do, breathe steam and drink Hop Sing's tea or take nasty tasting medicine?"
"I'll breathe steam and drink Hop Sing's tea."
"That's what I thought you would say because I wouldn't want to take nasty tasting medicine either. Oh and don't worry about Fury. While I was outside, I went into the barn and do you know what I saw?"
"No, what?"
"I saw Pete giving him some carrots and brushing him. Then he put Fury's big blanket on him so he'll stay warm and told him not to tell Hop Sing that he snuck into the kitchen and took some carrots. Fury thanked him for the carrots and promised not to tell Hop Sing. You've done a very good job training that colt. I've never heard a horse talk before. Do you think that you could teach Buck how to talk?"
Cat giggled. "No. Because only magic horses can talk. Fury is magic but Buck isn't. Now that he's bigger, I need to write to Santa and ask him to send me some magic corn so I can teach Fury to fly like Pegasus."
"Why don't you wait until you're well again to write your letter? Once it's written, I'll mail it for you."
"Ok."
"That's my girl. Now why don't you try and get some sleep while your brothers are gone because you know that Joe might wake you up when he gets back from Carson City."
"I need to go home for a little while also," said Mary. "When I get back, if you've had a good nap, the two of us can play checkers for a little while."
"Why don't you let me escort you home or at least send a couple of hands with you?" asked Ben.
"There's no need to Ben. There isn't a cloud in the sky. And besides that, if it does start to snow, you're needed here and I can stay home until it stops. There's no sense in both of us getting lost in a blizzard."
"You can take Lassie and Silver Chief. They won't let you get lost."
"That is an excellent idea. Catherine, I can't begin to tell you how very proud of you for offering to let Mrs. Devlin take your dogs home with her so she won't get lost if we get a blizzard. Mary, you should take Cat up on her offer. I will feel better about you traveling between here and home if you do. I'm also quite certain that Dan will feel the same way."
"Alright Ben. I'll take Cat up on her offer. Thank you Sweetheart. Your offer was very thoughtful and I promise not to take too much time at home because I know that you'll miss your dogs while they're with me. Now, I want to see you laying down with your eyes closed before I leave. We won't be able to play checkers unless you get some sleep. Who knows, maybe Mr. Devlin will come back with me and want to play checkers with you too."
"Can Mitch and Mike come too?"
Mary chuckled. "I'm afraid not Sweetheart. You are a very sick little girl and can't have too many visitors right now. Also, Michael has school work to do."
"How come he doesn't have to go to school?"
"Because we've just had a blizzard. Once we start having blizzards, children who don't live in town or close to town do their lessons at home. That way nobody gets lost on the way home. That's why Miss Winter sent all of those lessons home with the students. Now, tell your dogs to come with me and get some sleep."
"Ok. Lassie, Chief, go with Mrs. Devlin. Take her to Mike's house and bring her back home."
Ben started to scold Cat for not telling the dogs to take Mary home. She noticed and said, "Ben, get your coat and gloves and saddle my horse for me. I need to go and take care of my three so I can come back here and I don't want to take a chance on the weather changing for the worse." Once they were out in the barn, Mary asked, "What are you trying to do, win an award for being the worst parent in the world? Because if you are, you're sure to win. What were you going to scold that poor child about now?"
"Telling her dogs to take you to Mike's house instead of home was rude and I intend to put a stop to it now."
"What is your problem? That wasn't rude. The dogs don't know Mrs. Devlin's house. They know Mike's house, Jasper's house, Laura and Mary's house, home, not the Devlin's house, King's house and Ingalls' house. I guarantee that if you don't change your attitude, you will lose that little girl before her tenth birthday. Now I know why Joe spent so much time at our house. You expected a young child to think and act like an adult and he didn't, so he was always being scolded and or punished because he wasn't living up to your expectations. Children aren't adults and don't think or act like them. Nor should they be expected to. What do you think Marie would be saying to you at the way you treated her little boy? What do you think your sister would be saying to you about the way you are treating her little girl? I am bringing Daniel back with me and the three of us, Hop Sing, Abel, and Adam if he is home, are going to sit in the dining room and talk about your attitude toward your children, especially your youngest. I highly recommend that you spend a lot of time in prayer and ask God to help you treat that little girl much better than you have been before she is taken away from you forever."
Ben walked into the house, thinking about what Mary had said to him when he heard Cat ask, "Grandpa?"
"Yes Cat?"
"Why does Pa hate me?"
Ben was hurt by Cat's question, but just walked over to his desk and pretended to work on the books while thinking about what Mary had said to him.
"He doesn't hate you child. Whatever gave you that idea?"
"'Cause he's always mad at me about everything. If Mrs. Devlin didn't ask him to saddle her horse, he was going to yell at me about something and I don't even know what I did wrong. He used to love me when he was my uncle but now that he's my Pa, he hates me and I don't know why. He even thinks I got sick on purpose so I wouldn't have to go to school."
Before Abel could answer, Hop Sing walked into the great room with a cup of hot cocoa for Cat. "Honorable father love you. It just been long time since young child was in house and he not used to it. He also not used to having little girl. Just used to having boys. Drink hot cocoa and take nap."
"Hop Sing is right. Joe is ten years older than you, so it's been a long time since there was a young child in the house and Benjamin is trying to get used to it. He's also still trying to figure out how to raise a little girl. Raising girls is a lot different than raising boys. You have different needs. He knows that you didn't get sick on purpose. Mr. McLeod sent him a note telling him what those women did. Mary and Laura also told him what happened. If you stop and think about things he's done since he adopted you, you will know that Benjamin doesn't hate you. You have two dogs that are not only allowed in the house, they sleep in your bed and because you are sick and spending a lot of time on the settee, they are allowed on it too. Your brothers told me that they had a dog when they were younger but it had to sleep in the barn and wasn't allowed in the house at all. You are very sick, but he let Hoss bring your colt to the door so you could see him. You wouldn't even have a colt if he didn't love you. You had a bad dream earlier and thought someone was trying to hurt your pig. Because he loves you, your father put his coat and gloves on and went outside in the cold to check on your pig for you. A lot of times when people have pigs, when the pig gets to be a certain size, they kill it and eat it. That's not going to happen with your pig."
"It's not?"
"No it's not. Penny is your pig. Maybe when she's old enough, your father will let her marry a boy pig and have babies. Then when they're old enough, you could sell the babies to people who want them. If you do that, you will have money for your Uncle Matt's birthday and Christmas gifts. Now drink your hot cocoa before it gets cold and take a nap. Remember, Mrs. Devlin said she won't play checkers with you if you don't get some sleep."
"I don't know if I can sleep without Lassie and Silver Chief here."
"I'll ask Hop Sing to bring you another cup of hot cocoa. Maybe that will make you sleepy."
"Ok. Thank you."
"You're welcome. Now stay under the covers and I'll be back in a few minutes." He took Cat's cup, walked into the kitchen and explained the problem to Hop Sing.
Hop Sing smiled and said, "I make more hot cocoa for Missy Cat and put little bit of Valerian in it. Just enough to make sleepy. Then she take nap and puppies be back when she wake up."
"Thank you Hop Sing. You always seem to know what to do when there's a problem."
"Mr. Abel welcome. Honorable father, Hop Ling teach me what to do. I bring hot cocoa when ready." He walked into the great room a few minutes later and handed Cat another cup of hot cocoa. "Drink hot cocoa and take nap. Puppies be here when you wake up." Cat finished her hot cocoa and thanks to the Valerian Hop Sing put in it, was asleep within ten minutes of finishing it.
Abel took her cup back to the kitchen and walked over to Ben's desk to talk with him. "I assume you heard Cat's question?"
"Yes and I'm hurt. I have no idea why she think I hate her."
"Well then, instead of working on your books, I suggest you do some soul searching and praying. We'll ask Mary what she thinks when she returns."
"She said something about bringing Dan with her when she returns and Adam should be back by then, so I may as well hear it from all four of you at once. I think I'll take your suggestion and go out to the barn and do some thinking about the way I've been treating that little girl and see if I can understand why she thinks I hate her. I have loved her ever since Kate and Michael told me that I was going to be an uncle."
"That is an excellent idea, so I suggest you leave your books and do so. You have a lot of things to think about and won't be able to concentrate on your thoughts if you're working on the books."
Ben walked out to the barn, sat down on a hay bale and started trying to figure out why his daughter thought he hated her. She had a good home and plenty of food to eat and clothes to wear. She had two dogs that were not only allowed in the house, something he had never allowed his sons to do with their dog, they slept on her bed. She had her own colt and a pig that would never be slaughtered for food and in the spring, if an orphaned or abandoned calf was found, she would have a calf to raise that would never be slaughtered or sent to market. She wasn't completely used to being part of a family yet, but that was understandable. She had been a baby when her father was killed and her mother took her to live with their father before leaving her with Matt in Dodge and she had been living on the ranch less than five months. As he sat there thinking, it occurred to him that maybe the problem was that he wasn't telling her that he loved her enough. It also occurred to him that since he worried about her all the time, maybe she was mistaking the worried look on his face for anger. Becoming used to being part of a family would take more time, but he could do something about the last two things. He would hug and tell her how much he loved her several times a day and he would try not to worry so much. He would be in for a huge shock when Adam returned home, Mary and Dan came to the house, he talked with them, Abel, and Hop Sing, and Cat asked him why he didn't love her anymore.