Hello!
This is going to be a bit of a slow burner, but you'll hopefully feel it's worth it. You won't really start seeing any LawNa until about chapter 9, so if you were hoping for Nami to be instantly swooning and lusting over Law, this probably isn't the fic for you.
Also, as you can see, this fic was started back in 2015. Some of the details in this will now be wrong because I started it before the Wano Arc was aired/published, it was only mentioned at the time. Like, there's mention of Law having a Vivre card (which we now know he didn't have) and the alliance ended after Wano, but Law is still on the Sunny here ... but whatever. I am not going to change things like that as it would completely derail the fic, and this is fanfiction so I can do what I like :D (with in reason. I seriously hate it when people get actual facts wrong in fics). So, I guess this is an 'alternate history' now, maybe?
oOo
I thought I should warn you all that this fic' is going to be quite dark, physically and emotionally. I will not issue trigger warnings for the physical violence, or for the emotional pain that Nami endures during this fic'. It is simply the evolution of events she has already experienced canonically, and the darker places those memories take her.
That ^^ is your only warning!
oOo
Anyway, I really hope you enjoy my new fic', Epoch Dawn.
Eiichiro Oda owns One Piece and all of its wonderful characters.
Infelicity
"Another step," Nami smiled, raising a large piece of parchment up in front of her eyes. Of course, it wasn't parchment anymore. Now, it was a fascinating and intricate cartograph, a nautical and topographical map of Wano Country. It had taken her seventeen days to complete, which was a feat given the elevation in some areas of the island. Sunlight streamed through the library's windows, warming the room and making her map glow like a decorated festival lantern. A calming sense of satisfaction spread through her as she examined her work. Her smile growing with every contour line her eyes traced.
Nami glanced at the photograph on her desk, as she always did when she completed a new map. It was her way of showing Bellemere what she'd accomplished. Every time she did this, Nami could always hear her mother's voice in the back of her mind. 'It's amazing, Nami. I guess the map you drew today of this island is just one step towards your dream.'
Nami smiled and took a deep breath through her nose. She recalled a memory from back on Cocoyashi, almost pulling her family into the library with her. Though it was a rarity that Nami ever got to taste Bellemere's specialty, she could almost smell the mikan sauce, as though it were simmering on a nearby stove. She exhaled then, releasing the memory as her head and shoulders sank a little. Nami missed her. It didn't seem to matter how much time passed, or how happy she was aboard The Thousand Sunny; Bellemere was still gone, and nothing would change that.
Nami stirred from her thoughts then as an icy shiver crawled up her spine, the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end, and an unnerving feeling that she was being watched began creep over her. She was afraid of what she might see, but she slowly turned her head anyway. Nami hoped to find Nico Robin in library with her. Or, Trafalgar Law, who liked to teleport himself about their ship without warning, but there was no one there.
The library then seemed to dull somehow, as if the ship had sailed beneath transient cloud, but Nami knew that wasn't it. This was something different. Her heartbeat began to thunder in her ears as she turned her head back around. The once bright and vibrant library was now grey and dreary. All of the room's warmth had been washed away, like a painted canvas left out in the rain. Nami froze in place in her chair. Not again, she pleaded as another shiver crept up her spine. It prickled her skin as it travelled along her limbs, causing her fingers to slowly curl and her hands tremble. In the blink of an eye she was back at Arlong Park.
Nami's stomach clenched, forcing a nauseating knot to rise and settle at the back of her throat. She looked up in disbelief. Dozens of maps were hanging above her head, pegged to Hachi's fishing wire, strung in rows like washing lines. She wanted to get up, to tear them all down, but her legs felt numb and heavy. Her trembling fingers made it difficult to grip, and she dropped the map she was so proud of seconds ago. It vanished into the stone floor.
The bookcases framing the window in front of her changed shape, Nami placed a hand on her stomach and one on her chest to try and steady her breathing. The bookcases appeared to be the exact same ones that were in that dreaded cartography room that she hated so much - her prison, at Arlong Park. "This can't be." She faltered. Her words were a breath above a whisper, not wanting to give away her position, and alert the Fishmen to her presence.
Bit by bit, the rest of the room morphed into the one from her memory. "No!" She screamed as she pushed away from the desk. She couldn't go through all that again.
Through the well of tears clinging to her lash line Nami spotted dozens of piles of maps encircling the room. "They're not real," she assured herself, wiping away the moister obscuring her vision, hoping her tears were making her see things that were not there. It's the green bench, I know it is, I'm not back there. There was no way she could be. Luffy destroyed Arlong Park. She had seen it in ruins. She'd seen it with her own eyes, and kicked through the rubble.
"Nami-san?" a familiar voice called to her, laying a hand on her shoulder.
Nami squirmed beneath the touch, shoving the hand away, half expecting to see Arlong standing before her, sneering down at her. She jerked herself around so fast that she fell off her chair, and crashed to the floor.
"Are you alright?" Robin's voice rang with alarm, banishing that storm cloud that was blocking Nami's sun. In that moment, light and colour filled the room again. It warmed Nami, thawing her from her chilling daydream, bringing her attention to her true surroundings and away from her bitter past.
"Yes," she whispered through panted breaths, lifting her hands to cover her mouth. She gently rested her head on the tiled floor while her eyes scanned the room. There were no maps above her head, or stacks around the perimeter of the room. It was the curved green benches, like she knew deep down they always were. She was on board the Thousand Sunny.
"Shall I call for Chopper?" Robin asked as she leant down to help Nami get up.
Nami cast her eyes up at the historian to see that her face riddled with worry, more so than a moment ago. "I'm fine," Nami assured her as she got to her feet without aid. "Did you need something?" she asked, pretending to adjust her purple bikini as if nothing was wrong.
Robin regarded her silently. The woman possessed some keen senses, and it was obvious she was trying to work out what the matter was. "There's some dark clouds on the horizon. Trafalgar-san asked if you wouldn't mind taking a look."
"I'll be there in a minute." Nami said, picking her map up off the floor. She watched Robin out of the corner of her eye as she bent down, taking note of how the older woman's eyes did not leave her. "I'm fine. Really." She assured her as she took a seat at her desk.
Nico Robin nodded her head, then made her way to the door. Nami could sense the historian's eyes on her, glancing back as she was leaving.
Nami kept her breathing level until she heard the click of the door closing. She then let out a shaky sigh, and buried her face in her hands once she knew she was alone.
"What was that?" She asked out loud, but didn't want or expect an answer, Why does it keep happening to me? Nami wouldn't have been so afraid if it wasn't for the constant stream of vivid nightmares she'd been having since leaving Wano. She was plagued by memories of her early years of piracy, forced to relive the days of being hunted or threatened, always on edge, always looking over her shoulder. More recently she'd been awaking from those dreams with the bruises she'd endured whilst in the nightmares. And somehow, over the last couple of weeks, those dreams had found their way into her waking life. Bleeding away the colours of her reality and leaving her cold and numb. These visions were burning away at the thread of happiness that stitched her together, making her feel that she was steadily falling apart.
Long enough, she decided. That was all the recovery time she would allow herself before following Robin. Nami knew she had to be careful. If Robin suspected too much there was no doubt that the woman would sprout an eye ball in the corner of the room to watch over her. Maybe that's for the best? How can I even begin to explain this to them? she wondered as she grabbed the door handle. Then, Nami felt the reply to that question was coming in the form of another cold shiver. She raced through the door, and slammed it behind her, hoping to trap whatever was happening in there so it couldn't follow her.
Out on deck, Nami didn't even need to look to the horizon to gain her first clue about the nearby storm. There was a small colony of seagulls squawking on the upper deck. Exhausted, maybe? If they were taking refuge here from the bad weather, then their presence was also a sure sign that there was no land in sight, not for a few days at least.
After leaving Wano Country, the two crews had decided to head for Prodence Kingdom. There was no other reason than that is what Luffy deemed would be the most fun. Through all the information Nami had collected before they set sail, she'd estimated that they should have been at their destination by now. Though, the seas and the sky were always unpredictable, she was still sure that they should have made berth at least two days ago. For land to still be days away was a little worrying, and confusing.
Perhaps the people of Wano were wrong, Nami thought to herself as she cast her eyes out to sea. She may have been self-taught, but Nami had an unwavering trust in her own abilities, and they had served her well these past ten years. There was no way they were off course.
She lifted her left arm to check the Log Pose, then dropped it again that very second in frustration, rolling her eyes. Nami groaned as she then checked it a second time, confirming their course. "Perfect." She complained out loud. Right for the eye of the storm.
Knowing Luffy, he would want to sail right through it instead of being cautious and sailing around it. He was still too carefree for her liking, and often seemed to forget that they were now in The New World, not the Grant Line, which was a paradise in comparison. Further proof of his recklessness came from his choice of heading. Two of the Log Pose's three needles fluttered in the direction of the islands attracting them. They pointed far away from the dark and ominous clouds which were now before them. Instead of choosing a relaxing course, the Heart Pirates and the Strawhats were following the needle closest to Nami's hand, the one with the frequent and violent twitch.
Nami closed her eyes and threw her head back in frustration. Coordinating their course through this storm would be idiotic, and likely turn into a head ache she didn't need right now.
Then, in that moment of unmindfulness, the squawks of the seagulls grabbed Nami's attention, and pulled her into another memory from her youth.
Nami opened her eyes to unfamiliar surroundings. What the … where am I? She stretched as though trying to shake off sleep inertia, but her malady was much worse than that. It was a feeling close to that of too much alcohol and not enough sleep; one where she would wake with holes in her memory, deep fractures that hindered the pieces from falling back into place.
Disoriented, she rubbed her forehead as if doing so would alleviate the awful sensation. As clarity did not quickly return to her, she soon started to recognise the feeling for what it was. She'd felt it before. Entering these experiences was akin to waking. The transition was also like recalling a dream, where one dream ended and the next began, blending almost seamlessly. If it were a dream then Nami knew she wouldn't question her surroundings, or be able to retrace her steps. That's how she knew this was actually happening to her. A moment ago she was aboard The Thousand Sunny, and in the blink of an eye she was somewhere new. That's how she knew that this nightmare was real.
No! Nami tried not to panic, attempting to blink her blurry vision away. She rubbed her face while taking a few lungsful of air, hoping the scene before her would disappear and she'd be back on the Thousand Sunny. It didn't disperse.
Nami looked around the harbour and slowly began to recognise that she'd been here before. She was back in the East Blue, it was difficult to forget this memory, it was so vivid. Most of the ships that were moored up had clearly not bothered to furl their sails during the storms, they were discoloured, tattered and torn. Half the ships looked rotten or in a state of disrepair. The ship closest to her was leaning against the dock, its paint had been bleached by the sun, and striped by the sea. And a thick fog had rolled into the bay with the morning, obscuring most of the vessels and making them look like ghost ships. At least, that is what she'd thought as a child.
Nami ducked behind a large mooring post when she heard the heavy clomp of work boots travelling along the dock. She turned her back to the sound and instinctively swept all of her hair over her left shoulder and starter braiding it, reducing its surface area so it would be more difficult to grab, and less painful for her if anyone did take hold of it.
She listened carefully to the sound of those footsteps, pulling her hair tight against her neck, and pinning the ends to her chest. She flattened her palm against her sternum to quell the clenching pain that had emerged there, and to steady her racing heart. I'm not really here. She told herself, but the shaking planks beneath her feet told her differently with every footstep that was taken towards her.
She knew that sound well, and could recall the pain that accompanied it. It was the sound of an old enemy, coming to take back what she had stolen. As her memories formulated, Nami's panic began to escalate as she was flooded with the terror from that childhood experience. She tried to remind herself that she was a woman now, and more skilled in stealth and trickery than she ever had been. She was now perfectly capable of outwitting him, but nothing could sway her adolescent fears. She gathered her strength and ran as stealthily as she could further down the dock, taking cover again behind another mooring post.
His name was Gideon. She remembered how he'd captured her by the ends of her hair, yanking it so hard she feared he had pulled it all out from the root. He was the reason she'd kept her hair short for all those years. She didn't want to be caught again, especially now, and have to endure the beating he once gave her, all over again.
Move! She ordered herself again, but she felt her strength was being stolen from her. Her back slid down the mooring post behind her, and her bum met with the dock. The sound of his footsteps were getting louder, and the vibrations in the pier were getting fiercer. She didn't have much time.
She peered over the side of the dock an saw that the tide was in. Nami's limbs were heavy with fear, but she managed to force her trembling legs over the side of the pier before she quietly turned, slowly lowering herself over the edge of the dock. She kept her eyes fixed on the sky around the mooring post as she shimmied down the piling into the safety of the sea.
The strength in her arms gave out before she reached the water line. Nami lost her grip on the piling and slid down it, scratching her thighs and stomach on the barnacles that were encrusted to the post. "Shit," she winced as she collided with the ocean, hoping her splash was not loud enough to draw any attention. The fog would not be enough cover if anyone were to look down at the sea and investigate the splash, it was not dense enough. Nami looked around for options, but there were none, save one. She knew better than to swim between the pilings beneath a pier, but she had no other choice, it was her only way to escape Gideon. She quickly swam for the cover of the dock, and battled with the rolling waves.
The first time Nami's head bobbed beneath the water she wasn't worried, though her arms had given out, her legs still felt fairly strong. She was a good swimmer, and knew she wouldn't need to take cover for long. As the waves repeatedly crashed over her head, Nami felt she had to remind herself, I'm not really here! but that notion soon drifted away from her as the strength in her legs began to fail her too, and she was pulled beneath the waves.
I have to get back, she told herself, and with great effort she managed to claw her way to the surface, gulping down as much oxygen as she could in her brief moment of freedom before she was once again swallowed by the sea.
Panic gripped her when she could no longer hear the seagulls, and the waves sloshing against the pilings. All that filled her ears was the roaring of the ocean, the sound of her heart hammering in her chest, and the distinctive aquatic churn of air bubbles bursting by her head.
I'm going to drown, she feared as her lungs started to burn. She forced her eyes open to get her bearings, but she could no longer tell which way was up. The sea seemed dark in all directions, so dark she couldn't even spot any bubbles to see which direction they were rising. She was slowly losing her battle with the waves, and if she tried to swim she could likely put herself in a worse position.
Her thoughts turned to Bellmere then, and a knot formed in her chest. Nami realised that she would never be able to return home and visit her mother's grave. She'd always wanted to return, to show her the world map she would draw, to tell her about her journey with Luffy, and everything she had accomplished in her life through her mother's brave sacrifice.
Luffy… she called out in her mind, and the knot in her chest grew tighter. She was never going to see him again, or the rest of the crew. They'd never even know what had happened to her. She didn't know. Would she simply vanish, or return dead on the deck of the Sunny?
Then, she felt it. This is it... Nami thought as something crashed into her back, robbing her of any hope of survival. She'd been slammed into one of pilings. She just knew it. And knew that it meant her death.
She felt weightless. The ocean smothered her like a tenebrous blanket, slowly robbing her of all her senses. She knew she was losing consciousness and would soon drown...
I must have hit another piling, she reasoned when a similar sensation from earlier was felt on the back of her neck. Even in her failing state she understood then that she was close to death. Surely a collision like that should have hurt, yet she hardly felt a thing.
The darkness in her mind continued to consume her, but as she drifted away she heard a voice in her head that grounded her. It was distant and indistinct, as though it had been refracted and reflected off of a hundred different surfaces before it reached her ears. Most importantly, it definitely was not her own voice.
"Still not close enough ..."
What isn't? she briefly wondered before that thought was sponged from her mind as though she had never had it.
"Nami-ya?" she heard someone calling to her. The voice wasn't subdued by the ocean surrounding her, or refracted like the one before. It was stern and clear, stripping away the asphyxiating substance that she was immersed in.
"Nami-ya!" she heard again, and was ripped from the ocean to be suddenly standing with Trafalgar Law's tattooed chest before her eyes. One of his hands on her shoulder, and the other on the back of her neck supporting her head. "Breathe, Nami-ya!" he demanded, gently trying to shake her from her stupor.
She gasped for air. A physiological response, as opposed to one acknowledging his plea. She instinctively tried to step away, but the lack of oxygen in Nami's system made her feel dizzy. That, coupled with sudden shift from the smothering darkness and into the bright world she was now in, it overwhelmed her. Nami felt herself sway, only to have Law steady her a moment later, but she quickly pushed him out of the way and ran past him, her mind swimming with disbelief.
Where am I? she wondered. The salt water that burned Nami's sinuses gave her a painful and mystifying explanation as to where she was a moment ago. How? …She was sure a panic attack would emerge any second, if she wasn't having one already.
She rushed towards the end of the roof and quickly looked down to the lawn deck below. Nami took a deep breath, ignoring the smoke and heat that was bellowing from the chimney next to her, then gave a heavy sigh of relief when she saw the rest of the crew playing, fishing and relaxing there as they always did. The sounds of their cheerful and familiar voices helped to free her a little from the anxiety and fear of her daydream - if she could even really call it a 'dream' - they truly made her feel relieved to be back on the Thousand Sunny, safe and sound.
Safe? she scoffed as her eyes filled with tears, mocking herself for even thinking it, even if it was only for a second. Her hands were trembling, and her heart were racing. Nami felt as though her blood was icy in fear, yet at the same time seemed to boil with anger. She was completely helpless against whatever it was that was happening to her.
What is happening to me? How did it start? The experiences had taken such a mental toll on her that Nami could barely piece things together chronologically. Where was I before I was on the pier? Nami asked herself, retracing her steps as best she could. The seagulls! she remembered, instantly noticing that the colony was no longer seeking refuge on the ship. It was the sound of their squawks that had taken her back. The realisation came with a warm flutter of adrenaline in her stomach. That, mixed with the sun's rays, which seemed to flare in that moment with extra intensity as though urging her to look at the horizon. Not a single storm cloud remained overhead.
What happened? she wondered as she checked the skies in every direction. There was a storm brewing. I saw it … didn't I? She suddenly felt sick. Fear and doubt slowly began to creep up her spine as everything seemed different to how she remembered. As she frantically searched the horizon, Nami spotted the rim of Luffy's hat poking out from behind Sunny's mane. I should tell him. Nami knew there wasn't anything he could do to help her, but she knew it would ease her mind if she told him what was going on.
He probably won't understand though.
How could she hope for his understanding when even she didn't know what was happening, how would she even begin to explain herself?
Nami closed her eyes for a moment to concentrate on the laughter of her companions, hopeful that it would not trigger anything negative. They brought her hope, no matter how small it was. An effusive warmth began to spread throughout Nami's chest as she thought of them. She knew that ultimately she would be safe so long as she trusted in them, and confided in them.
"What happened?" Law's low and apathetic voice sounded behind her, snuffing out that warm flame of hope she'd just kindled. His indifference aggravated her but Nami bit her tongue, the last thing she needed then was an argument with him.
"Nothing." Nami quickly replied in a voice a cool as his. She didn't expect him to believe that answer, there was no way he would, not when he'd been yelling at her to breathe only moments ago, but she didn't want to explain anything to him. If she was going to tell anyone then it would be someone who actually cared about her well-being, one of her nakama, and not the cold hearted captain of their allies. We're beyond formalities, she thought, why ask when you don't actually give a shit?
Nami's head lowered as she began to repent thinking those last thoughts. They were unfair. In their time travelling together she'd see many different sides to Law, and she knew he wasn't cold hearted, in fact, he was quite the opposite. He cared deeply for his crew, and protected them at all times, and at all costs. His expression when he was with them seemed less like the cocksure smirk she found rather irritating, and was more of a soft peaceful smile. A softness that didn't extend to her.
Law began to walk towards her, the click of his boots on the deck reminded her of Gideon's march along the pier. If the squawk of the seagulls earlier triggered my memory, then surely Law's footsteps could … Fear griped her heart again, pumping panic and despair through her veins. She folded her arms across her chest, trapping her hands to conceal their tremor, trying to concentrate on her nakama below. She wasn't sure if it was from her ordeal a moment ago, or if she was once again revisiting what had happened, but she could taste salt water in her mouth, and it stung her eyes and nose as the memories of how Gideon had once tried to drown her came flooding back.
"Nami-ya, " Law muttered as he stopped next to her, trailing a finger over the damp skin of her shoulder. It was only then that Nami noticed that she was soaking wet. Her hair was still braided from the dream and was heavy with seawater. "That doesn't look like nothing," he continued through a dark frown, motioning to cuts and scratches on her stomach and thighs, ignoring her distress and all the emotional signs of what she had been through.
"I'll be fine. It's no-" Nami started, but was interrupted as Law raised his left hand and flexed his devil fruit ability, calling for his room, and transporting them to one of the rooms below.
"-thing." She finished as the appeared in the sick bay.
"Sit." Law ordered. His frown from a moment ago was still present on his features as he pointed to the empty bed behind her and turned to face Chopper's desk.
Nami scowled at the back of his head. She wasn't fond of him using his ability to transport himself anywhere. He'd startled her numerous times appearing in the library unannounced. She'd tear her attention away from the map she'd been drawing only to find him sitting off to the side, quietly reading. It was a little creepy. She hated it more when he used the ability to teleport her anywhere. It was nauseating, and always left Nami feeling a little disoriented, similar to the sensation one gets when making port after weeks at sea. The stillness takes a while to get used to again. Nami didn't appreciate that on top of everything she was experiencing at that moment.
She watched for a moment as Law began to gather a variety of gauze and dressings and carefully place them on a silver tray, but her attention was snatched away as she took a step backwards towards the bed. She hissed as something scratched her inner thigh, debris of some sort lodged into the tissue.
Nami seated herself on the bed, and tentatively touched the affected area. "Shouldn't you get Chopper?" Nami asked, looking up when she heard the snap of a surgical glove close around one of Law's hands. It wasn't that she felt he wasn't capable, more that she didn't especially want his help in this, given where it was, and he certainly wasn't the sort of company she needed at that moment.
Law's turned his head towards her, regarding her over his left shoulder, out of the corner of his eye. The rest of him slowly turned, and he stepped towards her to place the tray on the bed next to her. Glower unwavering, he grabbed the swivel chair opposite and sat down, then pulled up in front of her. "I'm perfectly capable of treating you." He said with a slight air of annoyance, one which would keep a cold wall of distance between them.
Law began to clean her wounds in silence, paying close attention to the ones on her thighs, and taking extra time and care on her tarnished skin. Though her legs were barely parted, as time when on, Nami started to feel more and more awkward about their indignant position. She soon began to huff and fidget, and her hands and feet started to twitch through her discomfort. Law must have picked up on her embarrassment, as he suddenly disappeared and then reappeared in an instant, offering Nami a pink towel to cover herself with. "That's the best I can offer you until I've removed those arthropod remnants."
Arthropod? She wondered, but didn't dare to ask him anything in case he decided to ask her again about what happened earlier. "Thanks," Nami whispered as she carefully got to her feet, then put the towel between her legs and sat back down. Though the towel wasn't much, Nami felt much better for having the item to conceal herself. She couldn't have just brazenly sat there in her purple bikini while he treated her wounds, not in that position anyway.
She looked towards him then, as he sat back down. And even though the rim of his hat shaded his eyes, she saw the frown on his lips; a tell-tale sign of the melancholic expression on his face, something he often wore in her presence. "You don't have to do this." Nami felt inclined to say. Her wounds didn't look too deep, not the ones on her abdomen anyway, they were mere surfaces scratches. Nami felt she could deal with it on her own, instead of having Law torture himself doing it.
Law raised his head and locked eyes with her then, "I'll be treating you whether you like it or not." he retorted, then grabbed her right ankle to place her foot on the arm of his chair, propping her leg up. He quickly hid his sullen expression beneath the peak of his hat, getting back to work on Nami leg, retaining his frostbitten demeaner.
Nami's eyes drifted down from his hat to his tattooed chest. He'd worn a black short sleeved shirt today, and hadn't bothered to button it up. His chiselled torso was on full display, and her gaze lingered on the scars that punctured its decoration. She knew what he had endured on Dressrosa, she had heard the gruesome tale from her crew mates. Knowing what he'd been through, it still made her heart heavy, but any empathy she felt for him she kept it to herself.
There was a time when she openly feared for Law and wished to reach out to him, but every bit of fondness she may have felt had been wiped away with one single comment, one petty statement that she could still hear now in the back of her mind as he treated her. 'Anyone but her, Tony-ya.' Law had muttered while he was on the verge of death.
Nami had never properly understood why he didn't want her to help Chopper. She was certain that Law had grown to trust her, she was sure that she felt it before they even left for Zou. Though, in retrospect she imagined he was only acting out of pure desperation, nothing more. He just wanted Caesar for away from Doflamingo. And, if that was not it, then it must have just been because he felt she was weak, and would only get in the way of his plans.
Nami glowered at him, again questioning why he'd said that to Chopper. Would she ever understand? She continued to sulk as he picked up a bottle of iodine and handed it to her. "Open that." He instructed, glancing up at her for longer than was needed. The look was something she had seen on him many times before. Sometimes she would catch him staring at her when he thought she was unaware. It was a scrutinising look, a pained expression darkening his features, as though her very existence bothered him.
"What?" Nami asked when he continued to peer up at her.
"Do you still insist that nothing happened?" he asked, reaching for a pair of tweezers. Nami huffed in reply, then took her eyes off him to glance around the room. She had become accustomed to the silence between them and stubbornly wished for it to continue.
Law didn't press the matter. He continued to work, inspecting the lacerations on her thighs, and regularly pulling out splinters of something foreign from thighs. "At least speak with your captain," he mumbled.
He confused Nami to no end. Why on Dressrosa and Green Bit had he made her feel that he'd put his trust in her, perhaps above all of her crew mates, only to shatter that belief pretty much the next time she saw him. And now he seemed distant and angry because she wasn't being open with him, all because he had shut himself off from her in the first place. Yet, he insisted on trying to give her advice?
Though his attempts were useless when it came to Luffy, Law still tried to keep some distance between himself and the Strawhats. For those that warred on Dressrosa with him, it was obvious that bonds had been formed between them that Law could never break. He was less guarded around those few. Through their battle, it seemed as those the rest of the crew had seen a weakness in him, an emotional scar maybe, that pierced his cold façade. It felt to Nami as though they had a silent understanding, bringing them closer than Law wanted, something that neither herself, Sanji, Brook or Chopper would ever be a part of. He'd apparently told Robin to 'Leave him alone' when she'd tried to have a personal discussion with him, but still, it seemed to Nami that he was more comfortable around Robin than he was her.
Brook didn't notice the divide. If he did, then he never made a point of showing it. He played his music and drank his tea as if he had the greatest audience, or was with the truest of friends. Chopper admired Law too much to be aware of anything. He tailed the man regularly, asking all sorts of pharmaceutical and surgical questions as he followed Law around the two ships. A twitch of irritation was ever present on Law's face when Chopper the inquisitor was on his case, but he answered all his quires regardless. Sanji disliked Law for the conversations he held with Nico Robin, and seemingly clung to a fair amount of animosity for the man for that reason alone. He didn't act as though he noticed any sort of separation between them, but Nami felt it. Law's demeanour had certainly softened since Dressrosa, but the Surgeon of Death was always unconcerned whenever it came to her. Rejecting her friendship and kindness, and remaining at arm's length.
Nami had heard about what had taken place on Dressrosa, and the Heart Pirates had explained to her what Law's connection to Doflamingo was. She hadn't previously known just how dangerous of a man Doflamingo was, and she found herself resenting Law a little for excluding his own crew from his plans, an involving hers. But his crew were obviously so important to him that he sent them away to protect them, but he chose to risk the life's of her nakama instead. With that knowledge, and how he had been acting in regard to her, she found it easy to dislike him.
What had happened on Dressrosa, and everything she had heard of Doflamingo, helped her to realise just how lucky she'd been as a child. Arlong, and all he had put her through made for a truly harrowing experience, but it could have been worse. Nami knew she had learnt nothing of the real world, not like Law had. From the nameless pirates she pit herself against back then, she only knew of the sugar coated side to piracy. Through their childhood experiences, Nami thought that in one respect she could relate to Law. Their situations had practically mirrored one and others. She had tried to reach out to him through that, but was immediately rebuffed.
"What is your problem with me?" She finally decided to ask him, studying his reaction. She imagined though that Law was quite practised in hiding his true thoughts and emotions, he had, after all, been dealing with Doflamingo for a long time and had managed to conceal his hatred for the man.
Law carefully removed something from her thigh, and dropped it onto the tray next to her, along with the tweezers. "I don't have a problem with you, Nami-ya," he said, reaching up to take the bottle of iodine from her.
Nami raised her eyebrows at him. She wasn't convinced in the slightest. She even noted the way his frame stiffened at her question, and could recognize the guarded look in his eyes. Then, of course, there was his behaviour towards her over the last few weeks.
He removed her foot from off the arm of his chair, then pushed away from her, sinking back into his seat with a deep sigh. "You're just difficult to be around," he explained, refusing to look her in the eye as he spoke.
Nami's jaw dropped at that statement, and she blankly stared at him for a few moments. "How am I difficult to be around?" she finally managed to ask, not bothering to hide her anger at his statement. Sure, she might have been a bit of a pain on Punk Hazard, insisting that they helped those children against his wishes, but that was the right thing to do. Since then, she had been nothing but a help to him from that point on.
Yes, she was tempestuous. Nami knew it full well and she took it in her stride, but she had done well to keep her temper in check when it came to Law, and she couldn't recall lashing out at him once. How could he say that she was difficult?
His words hurt her terribly. The phrase 'cut like a knife' never seemed more appropriate, though the pain that she felt certainly wasn't appropriate. Why did she care? She blamed the emotion on everything else she had been dealing with recently, not wanting to give him any credit for possibly being able to afflict her. "I didn't ask for your help just now. I wanted you to get Chopper!" Nami said as she started to rise from off the bed.
"Wait, Nami-ya," Law began as she headed for the door, but she didn't stop. She could tell that her cheeks were florid, and she'd had enough of dealing with him. "You still need antibiotics, and a tet-"
The slam of the door to sick bay cut his sentence short.
Nami thought she'd heard a hint of remorse in his tone as he began to speak, but she was obviously wrong. He merely wanted to finish her treatment, probably something to do with his Hippocratic Oath. Asshole.
Difficult to be around? Nami fumed as she stormed away from the sick bay, shaking her head in disbelief. In her mind, she had done nothing but try to be Law's friend and ally. Why did that trouble him so much? She couldn't understand it, and was sick of trying.
"Nami-swan~" Sanji called to her from the kitchen as she passed one of the windows to the galley. She remembered then about her wounds then, and quickly rearranged the towel Law had given her, wrapping it around herself to hide her sores as best she could. "Lunch will be ready soon," he shouted, thankfully not leaving the galley to tell her in person.
She nodded an affirmation, though she wasn't hungry in the slightest. Nami just wanted to speak with Luffy about what was happening to her, but decided she should probably put some more clothes on first. Though how she was going to make it to her quarters without being stopped by any of her nakama, she didn't know. Her injuries would definitely require an explanation, and one she still wasn't sure how she was going to manage-
"Nami-san," Brook began in a serious tone, interrupting her thoughts, "may I see-"
Nami snapped. Before she knew it, she'd turned and grabbed his sword-stick and then hit him round the head with it, giving off a resounding crack. She could feel her anger starting to boil from the second Brook opened his mouth, and it dawned on her then that that would be her cover.
Nami's wrath was notorious on board the Thousand Sunny, and since she was quite sure everyone on the ship had heard that blow to Brook's head, she decided to play up to that anger, hoping she could quickly make her way towards her quarters to get changed.
Brook's frequent requests to see her underwear did vex her, but only momentarily. Now though, it made for a good gambit. And, it was much easier to pretend she was angry with him than admitting to anyone that she was still hurt and a little mad by what Law had said to her.
"You bruised me, even though I'm only a skeleton and have no skin to bruise."
She heard Brook's joke as she stomped down the stairs to the deck below, huffing and puffing with every step as she did to ward off anyone else's possible attempt at making conversation with her.
The Polar Tang was loosely rafted-up to the Thousand Sunny, and all of the Heart Pirates on deck looked on with open mouths, their bodies motionless as if they were statues. Only their eyes moved to follow Nami as she marched across the deck of Sunny. Chopper and Usopp also seemed frozen in place, their heads turned in her direction, but their fishing poles still aimed over the other edge of Sunny. With wide eyes they watched her pass. Both knew better than to speak and aggravate her further.
Nami stormed up the stairs and entered hers and Robin's quarters, slamming the door behind her to give everyone a sure sign that was furious, and that they should stay out of her way. Once alone, she let out a sign and discarded the towel, and let her enforced anger fall away with it.
She slid into the nearest of the comfy chairs around the small table, her left elbow found the wooden surface so her hand could prop up her aching head. How do I get out of this? she pondered, absently strumming the fingers of her other hand on the table top. I need something for my head, she decided, and stood up to glance out the window, wondering if the sick bay was now empty and safe.
She glimpsed Law then as was strolling towards the bow having just left the sick bay. He seemed to look more tormented than she had ever seen him. Before Nami could think more about his expression, his eyes found her window of her door, and she quickly moved backwards and deeper into the room so that he wouldn't see her.
Nami slumped onto her bed, and dragged her duvet cover around her, wrapping herself in it tightly. She felt she needed the small sense of security it gave her. She was almost ashamed to admit that she desperately wanted someone to embrace her, to put their arms around her, and ensure her that she was going to be alright. "You're a grown woman, Nami." She chided out loud as she threw her covers off of herself.
But maybe a mikan will do the trick? Eating one of Bellmere's mikan's was the nearest she could get to a hug from her. She'd get one later.
Why am I difficult to be around? She found herself wondering again as she pushed herself further on to her bed and stared up at the ceiling. And why am I so bothered by him? she asked herself as she slammed her fist against the mattress.
The more she mulled it over in her mind, the more Nami decided that she was simply mourning the wasted effort of trying to reach out to him. She knew that she had never been very good at letting people truly get close to her, so for her to make that effort and be rejected was seeming to be a little crushing for her. That's all it was.
Back on Zou, she had learned about his past from his crew, and that was why she hoped to reach out to him. She had spent years fighting alone, just as Law had. Even though he'd met his crew at a young age, you could still be alone and be in company at the same time. She knew the pain of it all, and the toll it can take on a person, and she had briefly wondered if Law wanted to die in his battle against Doflamingo.
In her past, she had grown so tired she found herself just wanting it all to end, and more than once. She knew she couldn't stop though. The fate of her entire village was resting on her shoulders, and more than anything, she had hope. She had promised Bellmere that she would live through the bad times so that one day she could smile again, and she was determined to fulfil that promise. So she continued to live.
Even if it had been his plan, to end it all in that battle with Doflamingo, Nami was positive that Law could lead a fulfilling life with his crew, they had shown her that much in the brief time they'd spent together on Zou.
News Coo had been delivering to Zou, so the Heart Pirates had gotten news of the alliance. Shortly after their arrival, the Heart Pirates had rushed to meet the Strawhats, desperate for any news of their captain. He was more than just a captain to them. And they were more than just a crew to him.
That's why you hid them on a wandering island, where no one could find them; because you do care. For some people, at least.
"What do we do?" Bepo fretted. His voice seemed to echoed around the mess hall on board Law's submarine when Nami walked in.
The atmosphere was heavy, making her feel that she was intruding on a private conversation as Bepo, Shachi and Penguin were sitting around one of the metal tables staring gravely at something in front of them. After a few moments of stony silence and regular worried glances at Penguin from his crew mates, "We go." Law's first mate finally said in a stern and resolute tone.
"Go where?" Nami interrupted. The Heart Pirates jolted at the sound of her voice, seemingly too preoccupied to have noticed her up until then.
The three of them watched her as she approached the table, not bothering to hide what they had been staring at. "It's the Captain's." Bepo solemnly whispered.
Nami suddenly felt sick as she saw the singed edges of Law's Vivre card burn and smoulder on the metal between them. She slowly lifted her hand to cover her mouth as a crushing sensation burst in her chest, stealing the air from her lungs. Her vision instantly blurred, momentarily obscuring what was in front of her until her tears pooled enough to fall from her lids, to once again reveal the source of all of their pain.
Shachi sniffed, and removed his sunglasses to wipe the tears from his bloodshot eyes. They were swollen and as red as his nose. It was the first time Nami had ever seen him without them, she recalled.
"We go now!" Penguin ordered as the card reduced in size as Law battled for his life on Dressrosa.
"You can't," Nami's voice quaked as she spoke. "he sent you here to protect you. He entrusted me with Caesar and Momonosuke. He wanted you all far away from Dressrosa, and Doflamingo. You can't go back there."
"He's our Captain." Penguin declared, and the rest of the Heart Pirates sat up straight as those words filled them with pride. "We can't sit back and do nothing, not when we know he's in trouble, not when we know we could help him. And if we die trying, then at least we have fought for something worthwhile." His face flushed as he practically shouted those last few words.
He wasn't yelling at Nami, she knew, she recognized the emotion. Though there was an air of finality to his speech, Nami knew he was trying to instil some hope and determination into his men, though by the spirited expressions on their faces, they didn't need it.
"We have two ships. If you have to, then you and your crew can stay here on Zou and fulfil your end of your deal with him, but we can't." Penguin concluded.
She couldn't help but relate the situation to her own crew. Despite Robin's wishes, they all followed after her to Enies Lobby, to rescue her from death, even though it may have cost them their own. More than that, Nami felt she understood how much the Heart Pirates wanted to be there for their captain, it was surely the same as her feelings towards Luffy when he went to rescue Ace. Though, she was stuck on Weatheria, unable to come to his aid, unaware that anything was happening at the time. If I had known, what would I have done?
"Okay." Nami sobbed. "Let's go."
Over the few hours that followed after his crew decided to head to Dressrosa, all of Law's crew, and hers, feared for him. They were crying and shouting words of encouragement, as if Law could somehow hear them through the card's connection.
Nami had watched the scorched card with a heavy heart, and joined her hands to silently pray for what would help him to smile again. In one respect she felt she couldn't blame Law if he wanted it to end, but Nami also found herself becoming angry with him for even the slightest possibility that he wanted to throw his life away against Doflamingo. He had been given a chance at life, and death was no way to repay the person who had given it to him.
Had he forgotten how important he was to his crew, how much they admired him and needed him? Did he not even consider that his crew would be watching his Vivre card's every move? Had it not occurred to him that he worried them when he went on this endeavour alone? And that she might be worried for him too, along with the rest of the Strawhats?
Death, she thought, he had the word tattooed across his god-damned knuckles. It was also on the side of his ship, next to the image of a beaming smiley face. Of course he would smile in the face of death, she scoffed, it suited him perfectly. She changed her prayer then from wanting him to smile again, asking God to ensure that he survive that battle, to stay true to the deal he made with Luffy and honour their alliance in bringing down Kaido.
That was why she hurt so much, Nami decided. She was mourning her wasted hope and emotion for him.
No. She relented, it wasn't wasted. But, whatever it was that he found difficult about her, Nami was no longer going to beat herself up about it if it was due to her empathy and compassion. They were virtues, not flaws. And she still couldn't help but hope that he could find happiness.
As if somebody had slapped her around the face, Nami realised with a start that she was thinking about the past, and nothing was happening to her! She was still in her quarters, she hadn't been taken back to relive that memory. Is it only when something from the world around me triggers memories that I'm dragged into one of them? Nami stood up quickly then and began raiding her wardrobe for a dress so she could go and speak to Luffy.
She emerged from hers and Robin's cabin wearing a khaki green, jersey, midi dress. She thought it best to not wear her jeans, and to let her wounds breathe, and that was the only dress she had which was long enough to cover her thighs. There was nothing she could do about the wounds on her stomach, she didn't have anything at all that was loose fitting. The dress would just have to stick to them.
The moment she stepped out of the door she immediately felt as though all eyes were upon her. It was different though, not like before when she was in the library. The feeling didn't make her uneasy or send a shiver up her spine, so Nami felt that she was safe this time, for now.
She looked down to the lawn deck to see if Luffy was there, only to notice that Law stared up at her with a frown as he talked with his crew. She could see his cold eyes move over every inch of her, the doctor in him probably scrutinising how tight her dress was over her wounded stomach. Nami ignored him, and his frown, and headed down to the deck. She continued to scan for Luffy but decided there was only two places he could be now. One, still in his favourite spot atop Sunny's head. Or two, in galley. Sanji did say that that lunch was almost ready, so he could be lurking there. Either way, she definitely needed some pain meds to ease her head ache. She was going to have a conversation with Luffy, after all. And a difficult one at that. That, in itself, was enough to give her a headache some days.
She passed though the galley to get to the infirmary. No sign of Luffy, and thankfully Sanji-kun had the handle of a ladle between his teeth, so he couldn't vocally swoon at her as she entered. He's got to be in his seat then, she deduced.
Nami stepped into the infirmary and quickly found the pain meds. She swallowed a couple and couldn't stop her eyes from finding the silver tray that was still on the bed, and the chair where Law was sitting earlier to treat her. His cold expression flashed in her mind, she really didn't want to think about him, so she left the room as quickly as she entered, then headed up on deck to where her mikan trees were.
Up on deck, Nami let out a sigh at just seeing the trees. She scanned the fruit as she approached, looking for one that was the most vibrant orange. She found one, gave it a gentle squeeze to check how firm it was before picking it. She pushed her thumb nail through the peel, pulling it back into a curl to reveal its segments. She brought the fruit to her nose, savouring the smell, and welcoming the memory of home that it stirred.
She could see herself, hands on the kitchen unit, head barely above it; trying to pull herself up to see what was cooking on the stove. 'It's not ready yet,' Bellmere advised, 'be patient.' As she looked down to see Nami beside her, she smiled. Grey eyes shining, and a cigarette trapped between her pursed lips. Bellmere groaned as she reached across the counter for a mikan. She pushed her nail into the peel next to the stem, getting it started for Nami. 'Here', Bellmere said as she proffered the fruit, the citrus smell flooding into the kitchen …
Why can't I be taken into one of these memories? Nami wished as she placed a segment in her mouth. It tasted like home, like happiness, like her and Nojiko running barefoot through the orchard.
Stop stalling and go find Luffy, she told herself, and headed back towards the bow.
Law was still conferring with his crew when she reached the lawn deck. Nami couldn't help but wonder what it was about given the dark expression on his face. He usually did seem more relaxed around them, but not today.
What's going on? she wondered. Then, the world around her suddenly began to grow cold, and fear struck Nami like a blade of ice through her heart. She hadn't seen or heard anything to trigger a memory, and she had already deduced that she could not evoke those tangible daydreams at will. Her breathing quickened, and she frantically cast her eyes about the ship looking for any clues, but her search was thankfully cut short when the sun re-emerged from behind a cloud.
She breathed a heavy sigh of relief and covered her face with her hands. She felt weak and pathetic. She was an expert meteorologist, was she really so distressed that things which were usually second nature to her seemed to have been forgotten?
How could she be so terrified? She questioned as she swallowed hard to will away the lump that had developed in her throat. When will end? She wondered, still hiding her face while she caught her breath.
Nami parted her fingers a little, and looked down at the lawn deck, only to see Law staring up at her. His grimace didn't lessen as he turned to Bepo and Penguin, "Just do as I say. All of you."
"But why do we have to go back to the sub, Captain? What did you do?"
She heard Penguin ask as she turned on her heel and headed up to the helm. Nami didn't care for whatever they were bickering about, she had other things on her mind, more important things. She needed to speak with Luffy before anything else happened to her, or she at least wanted to be in his company when it did.
Nami hurried up the stairs to the helm and placed her log pose in the binnacle as she passed, then slowly stepped towards the figure head.
As she approached, she could see Luffy lazing on top of Sunny's head. He was propped low against the lion's mane, his legs dangled down towards Sunny's face, his arms were folded behind his head, and his straw hat tipped to shade his eyes from the sun. He was so relaxed and quiet that Nami wondered if he was asleep. "Luffy?" She called in a shaky voice.
He quickly sat up to attention, pushing his hat properly on to his head, then turned to look up at her. "Nami."
He was frowning, which worried her. When was Luffy ever not smiling? She wondered, or did he know something was wrong?
"Erm … " she began, not really knowing where to start, then very quickly began feeling awkward as though someone had stolen her voice. She worried at her bottom lip a little and looked away from him then. Her gaze went to her hands, which she noticed had a slight tremor to them. She laced her fingers together to hide that tremor, and to stop the herself from fidgeting. With her head bowed, her eyes began to well up, and tears began to gently fall. Why is it so difficult to say the words?
Luffy turned his gaze to the ocean then and patted Sunny on the top of its head, silently encouraging her to sit down.
Mindful of her wounds, Nami climbed teh rail, then slowly eased herself down next to him, but turned her back to him. She instantly felt easier about trying to talk with Luffy. Somehow she felt it wouldn't be as difficult if he couldn't see her face. "I … erm," Nami struggled again. Her mouth seemed so dry.
She wrapped her arms around her knees then slumped back as she took a deep, shaky breath. Why was it so difficult to talk to him? Was it because Nami didn't know herself what was happening. Would she even be able to explain herself so Luffy could understand? She knew he could solve any problem with his fists, but this wasn't a physical problem, it was psychological. How could he help her with that? It wasn't someone he could hunt down to the ends of the world, how could he fight for her when she couldn't even fight for herself?
Tears flooded her eyes again, and Nami threw her face to sky, determined not to let them fall, but when she felt the crown of his straw hat hug the top of her head, she couldn't stop her tears from tumbling down her cheeks.
"Luffy." She sobbed as she released her knees to try to dry her eyes with one hand, while the other reached up to touch the rim of his hat. "S-something is happening to me ..." she finally began, swallowing hard, "I don't understand, and I'm scared." She explained through heavy sobs which she couldn't control, constantly trying to expel her tears.
Luffy said nothing, causing Nami to feel stuck again. "Erm," She swallowed and slumped forward, trying to find the words to continue explaining herself. Before she could vocalise anything that was in her head, she was pushed forward slightly as she felt something touch the centre of her back. Nami quickly looked over her shoulder and glimpsed Luffy. He was sitting with his back resting against hers, the position was forcing her to sit up straight, and to lean into him if she didn't want him lying on top of her, or to be pushed of the ship.
Somehow, a small laugh escaped her lips, and her nose began to tingle. A deluge fell from her eyes as an effusive swell of relief flooded her heart. Whether he meant it that way or not, it felt to Nami like he was silently showing her that he would be her strength, her back bone, if she needed him to be. She could lean on him, and everything would be alright. She would be alright.
"Take your time, Nami." Luffy whispered, leaning his head back to rest against hers.
She smiled at the gesture, and the remark, because that's what her captain had always been like with her. He knew she had her secrets, and he never crossed her boundaries. He would just always patiently wait until she was ready to ask him for help.
"I've been reliving my memories." Nami began to explain as simply as possible. "It started as nightmares. I remember waking to see the shadows of my dreams watching me, then melting away. Now though, now they happen when I'm awake, like I'm taken back there."
Nami couldn't help but notice the stark contrast to how she was feeling right now, to that of moments ago. Her recent dreams and experiences had made her feel so alone, so insecure, but she could still find solace in his company. With Luffy's hat on her head, and him at her back, Nami felt stronger.
Nami wondered how all of her recent dreams had suddenly made her feel so insecure, but she was grateful that she could still find solace in his company. With Luffy's hat on her head, and him at her back, Nami felt stronger.
Luffy quietly remained at her back while she spoke, not interrupting her once. Maybe he didn't understand her, but that didn't mean he wouldn't help. He may have been an idiot academically, but he knew something was not right with her. He was always so perceptive, especially when it came to paramount matters concerning his crew, or anyone who potentially needed his help. In that situation, he always knew what needed to be done. Why didn't I find the courage to speak to him sooner? Nami questioned herself.
"Oi, Luffy." Usopp shouted up to him, excitedly.
"In a minute." Luffy replied, not moving from his place behind Nami, though she knew he wanted to.
"But we've caught something!" the sniper yelled, earning him an eager groan from his captain.
"It's okay, Luffy." Nami insisted, removing her weight from his back. She hadn't explained everything, not even close, but at least she'd made at start. At least he was aware, and just knowing that really did make her feel that a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
"You sure?" he asked, and Nami nodded in reply.
"I'll be back in a minute."
Nami watched with a smile as her captain dashed towards the lawn deck, leaving his hat perched on her head.
"Is that a man?" She heard him ask, sceptically.
And, I'll leave that there for now :)Sorry to all the LawNa fans out there that maybe felt that the end of this chapter was a bit LuNa(ish). I seriously love Luffy though, and I guess maybe a bit of that flowed out here … sorry. It is a LawNa fic' though, I promise :) Promise!
Reviews make me happy, they motivate me to continue, and quickly! :D
1st, 12th & 22nd March 2015 (updated 2025)