Testing Audio -DK Principessa

by kibass91

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57. At the amercy of Time

Chapter Text

April 8th, 1816

Colin Bridgerton was convinced that his current lifestyle was far more fulfilling than that of a Baron or even a King.

He had a wonderful family, a wife who could be considered a goddess, and a beautiful son born a month ago and already full of life. After the tribulations he experienced at the beginning of his engagement with Penelope, he could not have asked for more. He shuddered at the memory of the stormy moments he had endured before he came to recognize the brilliance of his wife.

His concerns and emotional distress nearly resulted in the complete undoing of his marriage.

However, this was no longer the case. His marriage was now stronger and characterised by trust. With the Queen's approval, his wife continued to use the title of Lady Whistledown, although her column addressed more serious topics and information, interspersed with occasional references to gossip. Colin, meanwhile, had become a successful writer, working on his second novel and eagerly awaiting the opportunity to have it edited by his brilliant wife.

A shift occurred in their relationship, whereby envy was replaced by admiration. This new dynamic manifested in their support of each other's work, which became increasingly enthusiastic and vocal. In their written work, they presented opposing views in a civilised manner, offering astute observations and engaging in lively discourse full of flirty quips seductively drawing them in. When that occurred, their fervour resulted in a period of extended bed rest, spanning several days.

Something that their staff had grown inured to.

In the early hours of the morning, Colin commenced his duties as a husband in anticipation of his wife's birthday. He sought to ensure her pleasure before sharing her with their family. Pleasuring his wife was a source of immense gratification for Colin, ranking among his most cherished activities. The act of thrusting inside his wife with care, observing her reactions, and focusing on her expression proved to be a potent source of stimulation. Colin's inclination towards pleasing others was evident, as he consistently strove to surpass Penelope's expectations to make him worthy of her.

Following an auspicious beginning to her birthday celebrations, the couple prepared for the day's activities. Colin was particularly eager to resume his marital consumption but was resisted from doing so by the imminent departure for the nursery. Thomas Elliot Bridgerton, Lord Featherington, had already been bathed and dressed by his nursery maid, a Mexican woman of seven and twenty with five children of her own. She had been personally hired by Colin and Penelope during the interviewing process. They were immediately taken with Mrs Nasarea Moore; there was an intuitive sense that they could trust her.

They proceeded to carry their infant son out of the Featherington Manor, expressing their affectionate regard for him in a manner befitting his status as a precious and cherished child. Thomas's grey eyes were observant and followed their faces, and he would occasionally please his parents by smiling. Colin was pleased by the resemblance between himself and his son. He was also hopeful that Thomas would inherit Penelope's eyes.

Their baby was conceived out of wedlock, but those who were aware of the hasty pregnancy chose to ignore it to prevent any potential scandal. Ultimately, no one was interested in the circumstances of Thomas's conception. The sheer joy of the announcement overshadowed any potential concerns, and all that mattered was the happy news.

It is unfortunate that Eloise was absent when the news reached her. Furthermore, Anthony and Kate had departed for India. Colin corresponded with them, disclosing the felicitous tidings and inquiring about his nephew. Edmund II had been born two months prior to Thomas, and although Anthony and Kate had indicated that they would be returning to London before the advent of the subsequent year, Colin came to perceive that his family would not be complete until he had all of them back in London. He was eager to meet Edmund Bridgerton II and he was sure that his son would get along splendidly with his cousin.

August, the future Duke of Hastings, was now two years old and his sister Belinda was seven months old. Both had already taken a liking to Thomas, and it was so lovely to see them playing together. When the whole brood of households gathered together, they would leave the youths to bond by themselves, and that would often include Philomena Finch and Priscilla Dankworth, both two months older than Thomas. Even though they were only related to his son by blood, Auggie and Belinda had taken a liking to the two auburn-haired girls as well, and it was so heartwarming to see them all together. They certainly stole everyone's attention in the best way possible.

Upon traversing Grosvenor Square en route to Bridgerton House, Penelope and Colin were greeted by a melodious sound that was both agreeable and memorable. Thomas had laughed for the first time when Colin playfully tickled his belly. They exchanged a proud gaze after witnessing a significant milestone together. Colin interpreted this as an indication that the day would be favourable for both of them as he held his son closer while his wife knocked on the door of the house he had previously referred to as his home.

The birthday celebration was a delight to all who attended. Colin observed as his wife received gifts from her family and friends. Additionally, he sampled the assortment of French pastries and observed the children as they engaged in playing together. He was surrounded by music that was both joyful and harmonious, as well as the sounds of laughter and animated conversation between the guests.

While Gregory and Hyacinth were engaged in playful interactions with the youngest members of the party, Colin surveyed the room and observed that his wife stood as the focus of everyone's attention. To him, she exuded a radiant glow, evoking a sense of divinity amidst the earthly realm. Colin felt a profound sense of admiration and reverence for her, a sentiment he hoped to reciprocate in his role as a husband to compensate for the failure he had been at the beginning of their marriage.

Despite Penelope's repeated gentle admonishments over his guilt, he remained unable to forgive himself for his cruelty towards her. He was aware that his feelings were justified, given the shock and betrayal he had experienced at that time.

His wife, whom he'd always shared a close connection with, repeatedly reassured him that his self-reproach over his actions a year ago was unwarranted. She explained that his feelings during that week had been more than understandable—but he knew his jealousy and envy over her success had clouded his rational judgment, and that he had nearly exacerbated the situation when he attempted to intercede on her behalf when Cressida threatened her.

The aforementioned events, occurring during the previous year, had proven challenging for Colin to process. He currently enjoyed a contented and fulfilling life as a husband and father, yet the unfortunate incident from that week would continue to haunt him for the foreseeable future.

He was uncertain as to whether Penelope shared his sentiments. His sole desire was to live a long and loving life with her, with Thomas and their future children.

The most memorable moment of the birthday celebration was the unexpected arrival of Eloise, who was returning just in time for the beginning of the new season. Her appearance and demeanour had undergone a noticeable transformation. Those who were intimately acquainted with Eloise Bridgerton observed that she exhibited a new heightened degree of maturity. While her frequent correspondence with Penelope did not significantly alter her character, her sojourn in Scotland and exposure to a fresh social milieu seemed to have influenced her outlook on marriage, making her more receptive to the prospect of one day entering into such a union. She would concentrate on the advancement of women's rights for the time being, having established a close friendship with Michaela Stirling over the course of the year. The two women shared a similar commitment to challenging the patriarchal structures that they were subjected to.

Despite his reluctance to acknowledge it publicly, Colin experienced a degree of jealousy as a result of his wife's growing bond with Michaela. The smiles Penelope gave in response to their letters and how her cheeks flushed at some of the casual flirting the Stirling woman should engage in with her made him seethe with covetousness over the improper behaviour of John's cousin. He never took it too seriously, of course. After all, he did enjoy Michaela's company. She was astute with her wit in her letters and he caught himself chortling at her words. Nevertheless, she could be somewhat too familiar with his wife, and he felt it was his duty to keep an eye on her.

He was aware that he would have to share Penelope with a considerable number of people today, but upon Eloise's arrival, Colin conceded that he would only be able to enjoy his wife's company once they returned to their residence. She was positioned adjacent to her sister, the two women maintaining a grasp on one another's hands as Eloise engaged in animated conversation with her friend about her experiences in Scotland. She spoke highly of the Kilmartin Castle, expressing her gratitude for the opportunity to venture beyond the confines of their little bubble. Penelope listened attentively, her eyes conveying a keen desire to gain insight into the experiences of life beyond the confines of the ton. Colin observed this and contemplated the possibility of embarking on a grand tour in the future with his wife when Thomas was old enough to join them.

As the celebration progressed into a soirée, Lady Danbury raised her champagne glass and proposed a toast to Penelope. Since her revelation as Lady Whistledown, Lady Danbury has been a more constant presence at Featherington House, where Colin and Penelope had taken up residence following the succession of their son to the title of Baron and subsequent ownership of the estate. She has become intimately acquainted with Penelope, providing her with support and guidance during her first promenade following the Dankworth-Finch Ball. Colin was indebted to her for the support and the influence she exerted on behalf of Queen Charlotte, which was widely acknowledged by the ton. The longevity of their friendship was a testament to its strength, and as a result, Lady Danbury's opinions and preferences were held in high regard because of her status and esteem with the Queen.

The sight of Agatha Danbury promenading with Lady Whistledown and their amicable demeanour was a source of great relief and encouragement to Penelope.

Colin and Penelope welcomed Lady Danbury to their home, always.

The toast was brief but gracious. Lady Danbury demonstrated her pride in the transformation of the former wallflower into a blossoming woman whose opinions were esteemed throughout London. Penelope was on the verge of tears as she gazed at Lady Danbury with profound gratitude. Subsequently, Violet Bridgerton proposed a toast to Penelope's health, recounting a memory of Penelope and Eloise hiding behind curtains and frightening Colin and Benedict during their childhood. After the audience had responded with laughter at this anecdote, Benedict adopted an expression of feigned irritation directed at the two friends. This was followed by Portia, who was unable to conclude her speech before becoming visibly so emotional that she was unable to continue.

It was evident that she took pride in her daughter.

Once the children had fallen asleep, Lady Danbury departed from the Bridgerton residence, cognizant that the festivities were nearing their conclusion. Subsequently, the Finches and Dankworths also took their leave, each sister offering Penelope a farewell embrace and wishing her a happy birthday once more. Portia was leaving them with, taking the opportunity to ride with the Finches since their home was in the way of her new lodgings. Eloise retired to her chambers minutes after, intending to rest from the lengthy journey from Kilmartin. She did not precede this action without a formal introduction to Thomas; she bestowed an awkward kiss upon the infant's hair and proclaimed him to be her favourite nephew, solely on the grounds of his being Penelope's son.

Colin took a fake offence to that and Daphne rolled her eyes affably.

Then, the Duke and Duchess of Hastings were invited to stay the night, given that their travels to Clyvedon Castle would be too tiring for their children at that hour. Daphne and Simon graciously accepted Benedict's offer and retired to her childhood chamber, with each parent carrying a sleeping babe.

Benedict's capacity for responsibility was evident. His temporary role as head of the family while Anthony was absent in India had resulted in a notable growth in maturity, a development he found both fulfilling and enjoyable. He engaged in conversations with Simon, receiving invaluable guidance from the Duke on the management of the estate.

Colin was impressed by the manner in which his brother was assuming responsibility for duties typically performed by the Viscount during his absence.

When it was time for them to return to their residence for the night, Colin ensured that Thomas's sleeping body was adequately covered with his overcoat, with Penelope cradling him. Violet bade them a good night, and her joyous demeanour influenced by the alcohol she consumed tonight was so infectious that Colin was compelled to kiss his mother's forehead, overwhelmed by her contagious happiness. He was similarly elated, yet he abstained from consuming any drink as she did.

Upon their return home, Penelope entrusted Thomas to his nursemaid after kissing his forehead with care to avoid disturbing his sleep. Colin merely observed the scene and smiled contentedly, inwardly wishing his son a good night's rest.

The two held hands as they proceeded to their bedroom, engaged in a discussion regarding tonight's festivities. Penelope initiated a conversation about composing a piece for Lady Whistledown, and Colin provided suggestions about which moments would be suitable for her column. As Rae commenced to follow them, Colin opted to give his wife and housekeeper/lady's maid some space to prepare for bed.

He proceeded to his study and opened his journal, regarding the room with a sense of accomplishment before commencing his writing.

April 8 1816

Today was my Penelope's twentieth birthday.

As usual, she was radiant. In my estimation, she outshone even the most illustrious socialites in the room. My wife, my beautiful and remarkable wife, appeared particularly resplendent today, justly surrounded by those who hold her in high regard. The intimate encounter we shared this morning was insufficient to adequately honour her, particularly on this day of celebration.

Lady Whistledown's birthday. My wife.

Thomas laughed for the first time today. This was an unexpected occurrence. It may be hypothesised that this was a spontaneous expression of joy on the occasion of her birthday, a gift to his mama. It is remarkable how rapidly time is passing with him. He will be one month old in three days. It would be beneficial if time could be slowed down to allow for greater enjoyment of his current state.

He is destined to become a Lord, my son, a Baron. He will oversee the management of an estate and command the respect of the ton. As his father, I will be immensely proud to stand by his side.

Time is merciless to everyone.

I find myself continually reflecting on the initial days of my marriage. Despite my awareness that such introspection is unproductive, I am compelled to consider whether my actions during that period could have resulted in a more felicitous outcome for Penelope and me. I am led to wonder whether my presence at the inception of Lady Whistledown's relationship with Eloise might have prevented the subsequent emotional distress she experienced.

It is time to cease dwelling on fantasies and to accept this future. I am a very happy man. I am a husband, a brother, an uncle and a father. I am eager to see what the future holds for me.

All I know for certain is that I will devotedly love Penelope Bridgerton until my last breath.

Having completed the entry, Colin closed his journal and replaced the quill in the inkwell, aware that sufficient time had passed for his wife to be adequately prepared and for Rae to have retired for the day.

The act of walking to his room in the Featherington home no longer elicited the same sense of unease as it had previously. He had intended for the Bloomsbury residence to become their new home, but circumstances have led him back to Mayfair. He did not dislike the house; with Penelope's involvement, the interior design had undergone a significant transformation, replacing the initial greens and yellows with blues and purples. The design incorporated numerous variations that, as a man, he found difficult to comprehend fully. However, he was aware that the Featherington House had undergone an impressive makeover, making it appear brighter and warmer.

He was certainly taken by the transformation of the main sitting room, which now boasted a soft blue hue wallpaper engraved with small golden monarch butterflies. The insect had become a cherished symbol to his wife and her sisters as a tangible representation of the positive shift in their relationships. Portia made sure to start integrating butterflies into her dresses, proudly still talking about the Dankworth-Finch Ball to this day.

Penelope was attired in a nightgown that enhanced her natural beauty. She was already in bed with a book and had greeted him with a smile that was both sweet and welcoming when he entered their room. He was overcome with the desire to kiss her immediately, but he resisted his urges to prepare for bed himself. He hastily discarded his clothes and held Penelope in his arms under the covers of their bed.

Nowadays, Colin no longer feels the need to don his customary nightwear. He has adopted a more naturalistic approach to his nocturnal activities. This was not a matter of seeking to seduce his wife, but rather a personal preference. Penelope never appeared to be bothered by it; she consistently giggled mirthfully at the sight of his flaccid cock, which amused him greatly. However, she did not react with laughter when it became erect under her touch; instead, she implored him to insert it into her cunt or her mouth. Over the first year of their marriage, she had become more sexually adventurous with him and who was he to refuse his minx of a wife and her exploration?

Tonight, she continued to read her book, moving her body closer to his as he placed his arms around her waist, feeling the weight of her breasts against his forearms. He consistently adhered to her signals, and on this particular evening, his wife was evidently inclined to prioritize reading over making love. On occasion, she would awaken in the middle of the night, urging him to let her ride him. Instead of seducing her, Colin chose to simply close his eyes and concentrate on her breathing, the rose-scented shampoo in her hair, and the sensation of her soft skin against his.

He concentrated on the sensation of her body in its entirety.

Colin whispered that he loved her in her ear, and she replied with an equally loving remark. Then, Colin allowed his body to relax against his wife's, succumbing to sleep.

Tomorrow, he would awaken and consume his wife between her legs before partaking of breaking his fast with her.

The first thing Colin Bridgerton was supposed to feel when he woke up would always be her. They would always hug in their sleep, sometimes her curls would tangle around his fingers and he would caress them gently, feeling how soft they were. It usually lured his wife out of her sleep, and whenever he opened his eyes, he'd see her smiling sleepily, her blue eyes giving him an adorable, tired look, surrounded by messy hair. He loved it.

This morning, however, he felt nothing. Still with his eyes closed, his arm reached out to find her, sliding around her side of the bed and landing on her pillow.

Why was it so cold?

He finally opened his eyes and immediately frowned with great confusion. What on earth was going on? Where was she? Penelope always informed him of her whereabouts. If she had to leave early, she would have undoubtedly told him last night, in preparation. At that moment, he began to realise something else entirely—something that set a dreadful emotion in the pit of his stomach.

As he surveyed the room, Colin observed that the familiar walls and furnishings of the Featherington House were absent. Instead, he saw the same room in which he had spent his younger years, the space he had retained as his residence during his time living with his mother.

Attempting to maintain composure, he tried to regulate his breathing and think rationally about a solution to this bizarre situation.

Given that he had slept in the nude the previous night, this was an impossibility. Then, another warning: a knock on his door jolted him out of his bed, startled. He observed as his valet entered and proceeded to the window, removing the curtains and illuminating the room with sunlight from the exterior. His valet was similarly startled to see his master already standing, and both men gazed at each other with widened eyes.

Colin, attempting to appear nonchalant, acknowledged him with a brief nod, effectively dismissing him from the situation. The valet, still visibly affected by the peculiar occurrence, hastily departed from the room.

He was dreaming.

This phenomenon could be explained by one of two hypotheses: it was either a dream or a nightmare. Regardless of which it was, it was not a reality. It couldn't be. It shouldn't be.

It is also possible that he did end up consuming alcohol during the celebration of Penelope's birthday. It is even conceivable that he imbibed so much that they were compelled to remain at the Bridgerton House due to his inebriated state. Yes. That made so much more sense! Perhaps going home with her had been the dream! This theory is more logical.

Another knock on his door cued him to return from his reverie. This time he was not startled as Benedict poked his head inside to give him an odd expression.

"Are you well, brother? Your valet has expressed his concerns over you."

Colin swallowed, taking a good look at his brother. He looked… younger. Frightfully younger. He could only stare and begin thinking about appearances. He proceeded in silence towards the looking glass, beads of sweat forming on his forehead as his heartbeat accelerated, causing him acute discomfort. This was not a dream; the distressing emotion he was experiencing was genuine. He began to tremble, attempting to maintain composure as Benedict's gaze remained fixed upon him. He was compelled to gaze at the man reflected in the glass.

It was him.

But younger.

Chapter 2: you're as beautiful as the day i lost you

Summary:

in which colin accepts his situation and suffers through many dilemmas

Notes:

There is a very silly line in this chapter, I thought it was funny.

ALSO NEARLY 10K WORDS?

I am pampering you guys, don't get used to it LMAO

Chapter Text

April 6th, 1813

During his travels in Scotland, Colin heard stories of people disappearing in the fog of Quiraing and never coming back. He considered these tales to be hogwash, as they were likely the product of inebriation and therefore lacked credibility. However, he found them amusing and believed they would make an excellent story to tell Gregory and Hyacinth to spook them.

Now, Colin was the one terrified.

The notion of time travel was, at first, difficult to comprehend, if not entirely impossible. After all, he had not been in Scotland; he had merely fallen asleep in Penelope's embrace, warm and secure in his bed. How could he have possibly earned such a fate?

Upon becoming aware of his otherworldly circumstances, Colin steadied himself, closing his eyes and focusing his thoughts on his wife. He opened his eyes once more, and although he was disheartened he was still confronted with his younger self in the mirror, Colin acknowledged that the situation could have been far worse.

"Colin? Are you well, brother?" Benedict had now crossed the threshold, and through the glass, Colin could discern his concerned countenance, "You look pale!"

Colin concurred. He was astonished at the pallor of his complexion before embarking on his travels and acquiring the tanned appearance he had assiduously nurtured. This Colin appeared to be... a child. Even at twenty years of age, Colin regarded his juvenile face—the physique he had developed through years of sailing had vanished.

God, Penelope loved him before he changed his appearance. Before he attempted to become a rake in the eyes of the ton for their approval. She loved him when he had been his more earnest version.

Oh fuck—Penelope!!

Colin twirled around quickly, facing and startling his brother at the sudden movement, "Benedict! What day is today?"

Benedict was momentarily confused and responded wryly, "Well, it's only the day of our sister's debut! Not a big deal except that if Mother finds out you're not ready yet, she'll have us both by the ears!"

"Which sister?" Colin swallowed dryly, approaching his brother.

"Which sis–Daphne, of course! Good God, Colin? How much did you drink last night?" Benedict cupped his cheeks and squished them together, his expression simultaneously indicating concern and amusement.

Heavens above—he was in 1813.

Two years before marrying his Pen.

Three years before his son was born.

Colin was overcome with lightheadedness, the sheer discovery of when he had awakened being too much for him. Benedict must have sensed his body's sudden loss of stability because the next thing Colin knew, his brother was wrapping an arm around his torso and hoisting him before he lost consciousness and hit the floor. Colin felt himself walk, but each step felt heavier until Benedict managed to get him in bed. He was unable to hear anything as his ears began to ring with such intensity that Colin cried out in pain.

No. No. No.

He wept dryly, seeking solace from Benedict. He was unable to bear the burden of his anguish alone. Regardless of the circumstances, Benedict was his brother, and he needed him. Benedict's response was immediate. He grasped Colin's hand firmly and squeezed it, providing a tangible reassurance as Colin felt his heart racing erratically.

"Help!! Please, I need help!"

Was it Benedict screaming? Colin didn't know anymore. He was at a loss as to how to proceed; the situation was simply too overwhelming. He wanted to return to his wife and son. He had only had the opportunity to spend a brief period of time with Thomas, and now he had lost him. Colin sobbed even more loudly at this realisation. What if he would never be able to experience the life he held so dear again? What if he had died and this was Hell? To relive the moments when his dear Penelope was so close and yet so far, to not be able to touch her again, to lose his son and the experiences that had enabled him to become a better man?

Colin couldn't take it.

He couldn't breathe.

He couldn't bre…

.

.

.

Upon hearing her second eldest son scream for help, Violet Bridgerton promptly vacated her position in front of Daphne's room and hastened to the source of the commotion, accompanied by Mrs Wilson. Shortly thereafter, her other children began to enter the room in a state of evident distress on what was supposed to be a joyous day.

Benedict had been visibly distressed, gesturing in the direction of Colin.

Her heart sank at her third eldest's appearance. He was still in his sleepwear, his appearance dishevelled and his breathing irregular while unconscious.

"What on earth happened with your brother?!" Violet cried as she sat by Colin's bed, holding his hand, "Where is Anthony?!"

Ten minutes have transpired since Colin lost consciousness. Mrs Wilson had gone to fetch a doctor and the Bridgertons were assembled around Colin's bed, their expressions indicating concern, as they gazed at his body, which was positioned in the middle of it. He appeared to be experiencing discomfort, evidenced by the profuse sweating from his forehead and the intermittent whimpering—it was as if he was undergoing a nightmare.

Daphne was absent from the bedchamber as she was still in the process of preparing for her debut. Violet thought it prudent to withhold information regarding her brother's condition to prevent undue distress.

"I am unsure, Mother. The only information he provided before leaving last night was that he would return in time for Daphne's debut!" Benedict responded, looking helpless as he clenched his hand into a fist stressfully.

Mrs Wilson walked in again, nearly out of breath as she looked at her mistress, "I have requested the presence of a Doctor, he will arrive shortly."

"He should make haste, then! Look at him!" Eloise suddenly exclaimed, pointing at Colin, "He looks horrible!" she vetted protectively.

"Eloise, yelling won't help!" Violet chastised her softly, trying to remain calm as she felt Colin's hand squeeze hers. She gasped, staring at his face carefully, "Colin? Dear? Can you hear me?" she cooed gently.

He emitted a low, groaning sound, closing his eyes and then opening them again. He appeared disoriented for a brief period, during which he surveyed his surroundings and almost looked… disappointed. That couldn't be.

"Mama?" he croaked.

The sound of his voice elicited a profound sense of relief among the group. Hyacinth and Gregory shared a moment of emotional connection, with Hyacinth shedding tears and Gregory offering a simple nod and a reassuring grasp on her hand. Eloise displayed a smile and a visible release of breath, her eyes reflecting a hint of unshed tears. Benedict observed his brother with a contemplative gaze, while Violet caressed her son's hand.

"I am here, dear. Are you feeling alright?"

Colin began to sit up in his bed, slowly and with the help of Violet, "I..." he sighed, looking around his chamber and at the faces of the younger version of his family, "Forgive me, I..." he then looked at his mother, the despair in her eyes at his condition making him feel guilty, "I am well. I felt sick for a moment - perhaps I did drink too much last night while celebrating Daphne's debut with Benedict and Anthony," he tried to make himself look bashful, glancing mirthfully at Benedict, "Brother, you shouldn't have let me have so much! You know I can't handle drinking like you can!"

Colin felt his mother's relief through the grip of her hand, he harrumphed forcefully and squeezed her hand assuringly, "I feel so much better now, truly! Now, I must get ready for my sister's debut!"

His family members maintained eye contact with him. Their expressions that initially had indicated concern, were swiftly replaced by disbelief and annoyance. Gregory and Hyacinth rolled their eyes and departed the chamber, Francesca exhaled sharply through her nose before following them, and Eloise glared at him with annoyance. She was concerned that he had been seriously ill and frightened that it was a case of life and death. She promptly left as well, following Francesca and ready to admonish him with her for causing distress to the whole family.

Violet exhaled audibly, departing from the vicinity of the bed after bestowing a brief, reassuring kiss upon his forehead. She then directed a stern gaze towards Benedict, silently admonishing him for his failure to control Colin's alcohol consumption the previous night. Benedict, for his part, merely arched an eyebrow and regarded his dishevelled brother with an askance look.

"Please do help your brother get ready, or call for his valet," Violet told Benedict as she passed by him towards the door, "And Benedict, do not lead your brother down the drinking path—he is much too young for that," with that, she left the two brothers alone, closing the door behind her.

Colin cringed at her words and looked at Benedict with a look of contrition. He was aware of the moral dilemma he faced in blaming his behaviour on his brother, but he needed to devise an immediate excuse. And he remembered how much he had indeed drunk the night before Daphne's debut, so it was a rationable explanation.

"I'm sorry brother—"

"I do not believe a single word you said, Colin, but I won't prod," Benedict interjected, rubbing his face in a gesture that conveyed exhaustion, "You must get ready hastily before Daphne kills us for missing her debut."

He observed Benedict turn to depart from the bedchamber as well. One aspect of Colin's mind urged him to remain, as solitude would expedite the acceptance of the situation. He was, in fact, already modifying the past; he was scheduled to await Daphne's descent in the entryway, grinning at Eloise's loud urging for her sister to hasten before they were late to meet with the Queen.

Instead, he had postponed everything due to his overwhelming emotional state. If he underwent significant changes in the past, what might be the consequences for the future?

Wait.

Colin arose from his bed in a state of frenzied excitement, his countenance bearing a slow, wicked grin as he contemplated a most delightful realisation.

Previously, his family had endured a series of unfortunate events, including scandals, heartbreaks and instances of misguided (idiotic) actions.

Colin was aware of the circumstances that preceded those occurrences.

He recalled them in their entirety, having been compelled to experience them first-hand.

Colin discovered a newfound resolve, regardless of whether he was dreaming or not. If this was not the new reality and he would soon wake up in the arms of his wife again, perhaps Colin should, at the very least, accept his fate and use it to his advantage. It might be time for Colin to act in a self-interested manner, to hasten the happy endings that Daphne and Anthony nearly did not have. To see Penelope Featherington for who she was—his clever, goddess-like, witty wife who he worshipped from dawn to dusk.

As Colin commenced preparations for his sister's debut, he experienced a momentary lapse in his resolve, preoccupied with concerns regarding the potential implications of his actions. He questioned whether his son, nephews, and nieces would have existed had he altered the course of events to a greater extent. Alternatively, he contemplated the possibility that their roles might have been assumed by other people, contingent upon the circumstances of their conception.

It is questionable whether he should intervene in the lives of Daphne and Anthony. He had done nothing before and it worked out well for them in the end, why should he do something now?

God… Colin was once again experiencing a profound sense of being overwhelmed. He tightened his cravat, perceiving it as a metaphorical noose around his neck. Would he even be able to embark on his grand tours, knowing that he would be separated from Penelope for extended periods of time? It is unclear whether he can resolve all the issues without modifying the estimated time frame.

On certain occasions, he was not present at the time of certain events. He was absent when Simon's actions resulted in the near ruin of Daphne's reputation, and he was also unaware of Anthony's shift from courting and marrying Ms Sharma to developing feelings for Kate.

…he wasn't there when Eloise realised Penelope was Lady Whistledown, resulting in their fight and the fleeting dissolution of their friendship.

Hell to it, even his mind was not fully cognizant of his actions when he made the reprehensible remark to a group of gentlemen. His thoughts were impaired by a combination of smugness and alcohol, which had clouded his judgment. He had sworn to protect his friend, yet he proceeded to denigrate said friend just an hour later.

His demeanour shifted from one of levity to one of seriousness as he buttoned his cuffs. He was driven to approach this matter with the utmost seriousness, as it involved the lives of people whom he loved. Colin recognized the necessity for careful consideration before taking any action.

He would, for the time being, act in accordance with his recollections. He would observe Penelope's premature debut and endeavour to refrain from kissing her.

He wouldn't.

He shouldn't.

He… might.

Following the climactic incident, Colin encountered Benedict at the entrance, and the events proceeded in a manner consistent with his memories from three years prior. Eloise and Francesca descended the stairs with Hyacinth, while Gregory surreptitiously yanked his youngest sister's ribbon. This prompted the two to engage in a playful chase. Eloise loudly called for Daphne to hasten her pace, and after a brief interval, the new debutante made her way downstairs. Colin smiled at the radiant appearance of his sister.

Before becoming a mother, his sister had exhibited a degree of naivety. However, following August's birth, she had demonstrated a remarkable capacity for wisdom and insight. Becoming a Duchess had resulted in a transformation of Daphne into an enhanced version of herself. The Duchess of Hastings had become a reliable source of assistance within the family and Colin recalls that even before August, she had provided support to Ms Thompson in her search for information regarding George Crane which ultimately guided Sir Crane to Mayfair, where he rescued her from ruin after her pregnancy revelation.

Colin had hoped for a more favourable outcome for Lady Crane—he was hurt by her and thinking about her still made him feel queasy—but he now recognised that Ms Thompson's actions were driven by a desire to protect her children.

He was uncertain as to whether he could proceed with the pretence of an engagement once more as he was unwilling to cause Penelope any sort of misery.

As they departed their home, Colin attempted to avoid looking across Grosvenor Square. He was aware that three years ago he hadn't looked at Penelope when the auburn-haired woman waved at his sister. Their friendship was important to Colin. He was ever indulged just by observing the two of them converse; their discussions were not characterised by the conventional topics that genteel ladies typically engage in with one another and this was the reason why Colin sought Penelope at every ball: she was warm, she was witty, and she was amusing — she was home.

So, this time, he looked at her.

Oh.

Oh!

How wonderful it was to see her again.

Colin was uncertain as to how he had managed to walk towards the carriage instead of rushing to her to initiate an embrace, a kiss, or even a touch.

Colin experienced a sensation of nausea. This was precisely the scenario he had feared: her proximity meant nothing for she was untouchable, which was an excruciatingly painful reality for him to accept. Colin was trapped in a state of sheer agony. She had appeared radiant in her debut gown, yet she still looked too young to be wearing it.

Colin had not given much thought to the fact that Penelope had been compelled to enter society a year earlier than planned. However, he now recognized that if Penelope had made her debut alongside Eloise as originally intended, she would have been reasonably prepared.

He needed to suppress his feelings, given he could not touch her just because he was aware that she would eventually become his wife. She was a pure and innocent girl, lacking any knowledge of carnal desires. Colin felt a strong urge to end his own life the more he thought about it. If he were to catch a whiff of her shampoo, he would undoubtedly become a man possessed by his urges.

However, he was unable to refrain from staying away from her, as this would cause her to feel hurt. They were currently close friends, so abruptly ignoring her would be confusing and would result in her sadness—he would rather kill himself than cause her to cry again. Furthermore, he still needed to rescue her from Cressida Cowper's consistent bullying and give Penelope her first dance as a debutant.

Additionally, Colin found out that today marked the first publication of the Lady Whistledown Society Papers, which he promptly snatched from Eloise's hands after she had finished reading it. Eloise expressed her frustration at Colin taking the column from her, but he was unable to hear her due to the ringing in his ears. He was in possession of her first column.

This day got slightly better.

He read it inside his carriage on the way to the St. James Palace. As he read it, ignoring the pensive stare Benedict was giving him during the ride, he couldn't help but smile at his wife's writing. At least something he was familiar with would remain close to him.

When they arrived the two brothers left the carriage with Gregory ahead of them to meet with their sisters and mother and join together in the middle.

The vast majority of London's reputable society, attired in their most opulent garments, passed beneath the imposing arches of the magnificent edifice. As footmen assisted the Bridgerton ladies in dismounting the carriage, Colin watched Daphne survey the scene with keen awe, as Anthony, out of breath, approached them.

Colin expressed his longing for the man his brother had become under the influence of Kate. His brother was currently in a period of rakish behaviour, and Colin was unable to intervene until the Sharmas' arrival the following year. Hopefully, all of this would've been just a nightmare and he wouldn't have to wait for them.

"Anthony! You are here!" Daphne greeted him with relief.

"Of course I am here, sister. I'd never miss such an important day for you and our family," Anthony told her, trying not to look breathless.

"No, you would just be late for it," Violet chastised Anthony with a stern expression, prompting him to smile in a constrained manner to maintain a positive appearance as he extended his arm to assist Daphne in taking hers, ignoring his mother's comment.

Daphne took his arm and then her mother's as well, and together they proceeded inside the palace with the other debutantes. Colin remained behind with Benedict, attempting to locate a particular redhead.

He recalled Penelope's impression of the magnificent palace's ceiling as she proceeded down the aisle to present herself to the Queen. He had documented the event in his journal. The experience of witnessing the moment again, after finally acknowledging his genuine feelings for her and having been married for a year, would undoubtedly result in a significant alteration of the moment's perception.

On the occasion of his initial attendance, Colin observed Penelope's presentation with a smile, his eyes following her movements. He had found her performance to be pitiful, a sentiment echoed by Eloise.

However, Penelope was not to blame for her lack of proficiency; she had been too young, lacking the requisite training in the proper curtsy towards the Queen and too preoccupied with the grandeur of the surroundings. Colin felt a profound sense of empathy for her. Nevertheless, he was about to see it all again, something he was not looking forward to.

"I say brother, you are acting rather odd today."

Good lord, when did Colin gather with the other members of the ton to observe the presentations? Did his body transport him there of its own volition when he became engrossed in introspection? Even Gregory was offering him a perplexed gaze, as Eloise rolled her eyes at him.

"He's always been odd, let him be Benedict," his snarky sister snarked snarkily.

Colin exhaled and showed a genial expression towards them, "I was just thinking about how anxious Penelope might be."

"Ms. Featherington?" Benedict prompted curiously why he had suddenly mentioned the girl.

Eloise regarded him as her expression softened, "I share your concerns, brother. I cannot believe Lady Featherington forced her to debut a year earlier! Pen was in distress when she found out, I took at least an hour to console her!"

This was unknown information to Colin. He did not recall Eloise disclosing this to him years ago, nor would he have neglected to act upon it had he been aware of it. He would have provided emotional support to Penelope and reassured her of her well-being.

"I know she is your friend, Colin, but you do not need to concern yourself with Ms. Featherington that much. She will be a debutant and when she finds a husband, he will take care of her," Benedict offered helpfully, placing a reassuring hand on the shoulder.

Colin smirked, "Oh, I'll make sure of that."

Benedict regarded him with a look of perplexity, but before he could inquire further about Colin's statement, Anthony announced his presence by directing a stern gaze towards his brothers.

"Why are you two conversing so loudly? Have you not noticed the looks you're getting from the assembly?" he enquired, his voice low and measured. He then smiled charmingly at the onlookers to keep a normal composure, "What is so important?" he asked through his teeth, nearly making Colin chortle at the sight.

Colin thought the Viscount displayed a remarkable degree of audacity. He was the one who arrived late to the debut of their sister, and now he was censuring them for talking?

As Benedict and Anthony looked at him with disbelieving expressions, the latter more amused than the other, Colin became aware that he had uttered these words in a low voice, audible to his brothers.

Eloise emitted a quiet laugh, her shoulder trembling as she covered her mouth to suppress the sound.

It would appear she heard it as well.

Colin was on the verge of offering a defence, but he was prevented from doing so when the Lord-in-Waiting declared that he would commence the presentation of the debutants per the Queen's orders. London's upper echelon settled, and the last thing Colin saw before turning away from Anthony was the apoplectic expression gradually forming on his face.

Oh dear, it was evident that he would be summoned to his study at a later point of the day for a reprimand. It was not his intention to say that out loud, but rather than feeling contrite about it, Colin attempted not to laugh at his brother's expression—he appeared so taken aback that it was as if he had kissed Kate's hand in front of him.

Except… Anthony hasn't met Kathani Sharma yet.

Colin's demeanour shifted as he surveyed his surroundings. He was, once again, forced to acknowledge the tangible reality of his situation. He recognized the necessity for circumspection and restraint in his actions, understanding that his words held consequences.

"Miss Prudence Featherington, Miss Philippa Featherington, and Miss Penelope Featherington—all presented by the Right Honourable Lady Featherington!"

Colin observed the opening of the massive doors of the Presentation Chamber, whereupon he immediately locked eyes on his wife, who was situated on the right of her two elder sisters, with Philippa in the centre and Prudence on the left. He heard some of the gentry people utter exclamations and engage in whispered discourse as the Featherington sisters and their mother proceeded down the corridor to stand before Queen Charlotte.

Colin's gaze was fixed intently upon Penelope, awaiting the moment when she would cast her eyes in the direction of Eloise, who would offer a smile that was both encouraging and somewhat weak in return. When Penelope did indeed glance in her direction, Colin promptly gained her attention by moving slightly closer to his sister. When his wife's blue eyes met his darker ones, he was unable to suppress a smile, and he was on the verge of tears at the sight of her face.

She was his sun, his everything.

The moment was fleeting, yet Colin was compelled to act. He sought to elicit a smile from Penelope, and so he winked at her, prompting a gasp from her pretty lips and a look of bewilderment from Eloise.

Oops.

He forgot that Eloise was standing right next to him.

"I say, I do feel bad for Ms. Featherington," Anthony abruptly murmured to Colin, and the time-traveller interpreted this as an indication of forgiveness regarding his previous remark, "To be forced to debut a year early, it's pitiful," he sighed, offering Penelope a smile in return when she made eye contact.

Uh. Colin looked at his older brother intrigued by his words. This was… new. He didn't say that before… or did he? No… Colin would've remembered it. He was grateful for the diversion, as he was disinclined to engage with Eloise at that moment. He recalled her fierce protectiveness towards Penelope and the sharpness of her kicks against his shins whenever he vexed her too far.

"Colin agrees, in fact, that's what he was talking about earlier before you interrupted us," Benedict told him, casting his gaze askance at the aforementioned brother as if seeking further enlightenment on the matter, "Both of you seem preoccupied with the wrong lady, are either of you seeking Penelope Featherington's hand in marriage?"

Anthony's response was immediate and discernible. He smirked at Benedict, demonstrating a clear disinclination to engage in the teasing behaviour. Upon directing his gaze towards Colin to convey his sentiments, he was taken aback by the neutral expression on his younger brother's face. He stared at him, and Colin grinned, pleased that he had caused his brother unease despite his expectations. The words he had uttered so thoughtlessly at the Featherington Ball had continued to haunt him—as a result, he had been subjected to Penelope's silence during his second Grand Tour—and so Colin had learned the importance of exercising caution when discussing others in their absence.

He enjoyed engaging in lighthearted gossiping with his wife, but they never delved too deeply into it.

Colin chose to persist in his observation of the Featherington sisters' debut and became aware of an imminent occurrence. Prudence was on the verge of a fainting spell. He winced in response to this anticipated outcome, experiencing a sense of powerlessness in his inability to assist his sister-in-law.

He has developed a close relationship with Prudence and Philippa. They had become his sisters, after all, and he was their daughters's uncle. They were family. He came to appreciate them, noting their maturation over the first year of his marriage. Following the Dankworth-Finch ball, the bond between the three sisters had grown, leading to the establishment of healthier relationships. Consequently, after spending more time with them, Colin developed a similar protective stance towards them as he had with his biological sisters.

Thus, when Prudence eventually plummeted to the floor due to the combined effects of heat and an excessively tight corset, Colin was motivated to provide aide as she had not yet encountered Harry Dankworth, he now considered it his duty as her brother-in-law to ensure her safety until her husband could assume this responsibility.

He was aware of his legs nearly moving towards her, yet he remained stationary, observing with concern as Portia feigned astonishment over her eldest's fainting. He soon discerned that this version of his mother-in-law was the one he had previously found disagreeable before his marriage. This Portia was unkind to his wife, uttering disparaging remarks and treating her with a dismissive attitude. She even pushed her daughter to make her debut a year earlier than planned, seemingly driven by her desire to advance her daughter's marriage prospects before she was prepared.

Despicable.

He reminded himself that the favourable Portia Featherington was in the future and that this one did not merit his sympathy, at least not yet.

But maybe he could change that. What harm could it bring?

Prudence was (gently) removed from the chamber by the Queen's guards, and Colin observed Penelope's subsequent departure as she accompanied her mother. He suppressed a groan, biting his lower lip, as he experienced a profound sense of longing to accompany them.

"Miss Daphne Bridgerton, presented by her mother, the Right Honourable, the Dowager Viscountess Bridgerton!"

Ah, right. He still needed to provide support to Daphne as well. Not that she required it, he smiled at her resplendent entrance, aware that the debutante proclaimed Diamond of the season was advancing towards the Queen. Not that she was aware of that fact, he could proudly state that it was his Lady Whistledown who initiated the tradition, not Queen Charlotte.

The sequence of the event unfolded in a manner analogous to that three years prior. The Queen was impressed by Daphne's conduct, claiming her to be flawless in front of the ton before bestowing a chaste kiss of approval and blessing on her forehead. And this action still elicited pride from Colin.

He also observed a similar sentiment among his siblings. Anthony was visibly pleased, his demeanour reflecting a sense of pride, and Colin derived genuine enjoyment from the moment. Daphne exuded an aura of perfection, yet Colin was keenly aware that he had a unique understanding of her. He even ventured that he might possess a deeper familiarity with her than any of his siblings.

He was aware that she had been fearful of failing that day.

So, when he looked at Daphne's relieved and euphoric face, he felt his heart soar the same way he did three years ago.

But now, it was when everything would start to unfold. As his wife had put it perfectly into words in her first column: the brighter the lady shines, the faster she may burn.

After watching two hundred debutantes present themselves to the Queen, Colin was overcome with a desire to return home, bathe, and prepare for the First Ball of the Season at Lady Danbury's.

He attempted to overlook the fact that today was also the day of Lady Crane's anticipated arrival at the Featherington house, now known as Marina Thompson. It was crucial to recall that she was currently unmarried, it would be socially inappropriate and bloody awkward to address her with such a title in a casual manner, and Colin still needed to consider the most appropriate course of action regarding her.

Decisively, he would not to court her.

He couldn't—his vows to honour and to love his wife in the eyes of God were still present in his heart and damn it, he was going to keep them. The mere prospect of pursuing a courtship while remaining married was abhorrent to him, even when this Colin was still green and unattached to a lady.

Still, Colin wanted to help her, he had made peace with what she did and had forgiven her as well. And so he had the brilliant idea of writing down what could've been changed for the better with the knowledge he possessed.

Upon returning to his bedchamber, he proceeded directly to his escritoire and retrieved a clean sheet of paper from one of the drawers. He then dipped his quill in the ink and began formatting a list, his expression serious as he wrote.

Help Lady Crane Marina Thompson (Why? Because it is the right thing to do.)

Somehow I must save Sir George Crane before his demise (Perhaps I can ask Simon for his help?)

Tell Penelope I know she's Lady Whistledown and help her (I do not want to think about her going off alone at night.)

Convince Penelope to tell Eloise that she's the scribe and save their friendship before it's too late.

Now it came to a more serious matter: His Grand Tour.

He reflected on the topic for several weeks and finally informed his mother of his decision today, before the first ball of the season. She had been supportive of his intention to pursue travelling. He had conveyed the plans to Anthony, Benedict, and Daphne at the ball. He stated that he would commence his journey in Greece.

He had already had the opportunity to appreciate the splendour of the Mediterranean and was therefore reluctant to depart and leave Penelope behind.

Despite the absence of any serious suitors until Lord Debling, Colin was concerned about the prospect of leaving Penelope for an extended period. She would be residing in her countryside estate but Prudence had married out of the season and Colin has been noticing some significant changes occurring—so what if his wife returned with a husband next season?

He would simply die.

Regardless, he also recalled Penelope's support. During his courtship with Ms Thompson, she was vocal about his desire to travel and see the world. Indeed, her words were a significant factor in his decision to proceed with his tour, despite the pain and humiliation he experienced when the scheme to trap him in a loveless marriage was publicly exposed by Lady Whistledown.

Penelope had attempted to provide him with a cautionary warning, and he regretted not taking her counsel seriously. He experienced feelings of remorse and guilt due to his wife's belief that the only way he would heed her advice was through the written words of her gossip sheet.

He would keep his desire to travel to himself for the time being. This would not result in a significant alteration in the past, as following his announcement to his family, they became increasingly preoccupied with Daphne's search for a suitable husband or demonstrated a lack of interest in the matter altogether.

A sudden knock on his door brought him back from his turmoil.

He quickly scrambled to hide the parchment in the first drawer he saw and nearly threw the quill back in the inkwell. He cursed when he realised the tip of his fingers were tainted with the ink and as his door was open, Colin jumped out of the chair and stood in front of his window, hiding his right hand behind his back as he smiled at Benedict, who was peeking inside with an unreadable expression.

"Brother! Do come in!" he greeted him, trying to sound as pleasant as possible.

Benedict made his way inside the bedchamber, "Brother… I need to speak with you on a serious matter," he said solemnly as he closed the door.

"Oh?" Colin began worrying that his behaviour finally made Benedict realise something was awry.

"Mother intends on making me dance with as many debutants as I can tonight, I must beg you, please come with me to Lady Danbury's Ball earlier than our mother and sisters to avoid her attention on me."

Colin was on the verge of collapsing with how much stress he was feeling right now, "…what?"

Benedict looked desperate as he reached for him to grasp his shoulders, "I beg of you, Colin! If you come with me earlier to the ball I'll buy you a box of chocolate macarons!"

Colin smiled at him, holding his laughter. He was so focused on his writing that he had forgotten about this moment—Benedict had done this as well three years ago. He had cornered him outside in the hallway though, so there was still a difference.

"Of course, brother, I'll go with you earlier."

Benedict displayed a sense of relief through a nod, a soft smile, and a gesture of lowering Colin's head to plant a kiss on his forehead, "Thank you, brother! I..." Benedict's elated words ceased as Colin retreated from his embrace, appearing slightly annoyed at being babied, then he noted that Benedict's gaze was no longer directed at his face, but rather at the smudges of ink on his fingers, his brother tilted his head to regard Colin with a curious smile, "You were writing? To whom?"

Colin blinked at him and hid his right arm behind his back, "I was not writing to anyone. I was merely… testing a new quill."

Not convinced, Benedict looked between the escritoire and his brother with a knowing look, "Ah, I see. Well then, I will leave you to your… testing, and prepare for Lady Danbury's ball. You should do the same soon, after all, you did promise to accompany me to it earlier tha—"

"Yes, Benedict!" Colin interrupted in an impatience tone, "I will go with you, now please leave!"

Benedict raised his arms in a gesture of placation and retreated with an amused simper, "Alright I will, don't look at me as if I stole an eclair from your plate."

Colin rolled his eyes but couldn't help to smile fondly.

Upon his brother's departure, he sighed deeply and gazed around his bedchamber. He had indeed attended the ball with Benedict earlier than his family, thus the situation remained unchanged. However, he also remembered dancing with numerous ladies at that ball. Additionally, he recalled with bitterness the moment he first laid eyes on Lad—Ms Thompson, and was immediately captivated by her beauty. He had hastened to join the swarm of dancers solely to observe her more closely.

He had become so shy under the smile she had greeted him with. It had been that easy.

Colin could feel his stomach in distress as he quickly sat down on his bed. He couldn't go through it again—he had pardoned her. God knows he did. But despite that, he still harboured a resentful sentiment whenever he thought about Marina.

On the evening in question, he did not even acknowledge Penelope. Despite it being her inaugural ball, he did not greet her or dance with her.

Foolish of him.

He was determined to atone for his misdeed. This evening, he would direct his full attention to Penelope Featherington.

He could care less about consequences if he had his wife's eyes solemnly on him.

Park Lane Palace, Danbury House

The interior of the room was embellished with Corinthian columns, elaborate festoons, and a meticulous entablature, which encircled a series of resplendent chandeliers. The room was populated by a considerable number of members of the upper echelons of society, who were engaged in the practice of dancing, conversations, courting, and gossiping.

Colin, however, stood next to a pillar whilst sipping on his lemonade. He wanted to remain sober through the evening for his head to be clear when it was time to dance with his wife.

Benedict was standing next to him, nearly hiding his body behind the same pillar. He had to admit that his brother knew how to look invisible when he wanted to.

"Are you looking for someone, brother?" Benedict enquired in a low voice, as though raising his tone would attract the attention of a random desperate mama.

"Yes. Penelope, I wish to dance with her," Colin casually replied before sipping his drink.

"Oh! That is very kind of you, Colin," Benedict complimented, casting about with a discerning gaze, "Did our mother already request that from you? I remember when she asked me to dance with this poor thing last season, no one wanted to dance with her and—"

"I do not wish to dance with Penelope Featherington out of a sense of obligation, I want to dance with her because I desire to!" Colin bristled emotionally.

Benedict exhibited no further concern about being perceived as he emerged from behind the pillar to give his brother a worried but somewhat bemused expression.

"Are you in earnest?" Benedict enquired neutrally.

"I assure you, I am," Colin nodded, scowling at him.

"It was not my intention to make such an assumption. I merely thought that our mother had asked you because she did the same thing with me. However, I should have been more discerning. Ms Featherington is a close acquaintance of our family, so, understandably, you would want to dance with her. I ask for your forgiveness, brother," Benedict said, his voice heavy with regret.

Colin's demeanour softened as he listened to his brother. He felt guilty for his harshness, "No, please. No need to apologise, of course, you assumed that. I wish to dance with her because she knows me. I wish to ensure her comfort during her first ball, that is all."

Benedict nodded, smiling admiringly at him, "That is very kind of you, Colin," he reiterated, this time sounding more heartfelt as he ruffled his hair quickly, "I shall leave you to find her then, I have found another hiding spot!"

Colin didn't even want to think about the extent of his current hair puffiness. He was in urgent need of a haircut. As he attempted to rectify the disarray on his head, he observed a familiar yellow gown in the distance and his breathing breathing hitched at the sight of his wife.

He observed as Prudence and Philippa reviewed their miniatures, Penelope's eyes searched for someone in the room, eventually landing on him. He was pleased to note that she had been looking for him. At a different time, he was engaged in dancing with a lady whose name he could not recall. However, he promptly rectified this, without a moment's hesitation.

He was heartened to observe a transformation in her demeanour, a shift from a timid expression to one of greater felicity, as he drew nearer. He bowed to her, a gentleman's greeting, and she reciprocated with a curtsy, her smile evincing a joy so profound that it seemed to strain the muscles in her cheeks.

"Pen," he sighed, proud of himself for not immediately kissing her, "I've been looking for you."

"You have?" He was not pleased with her apparent disbelief, yet he could not fault her for such a reaction.

"I have been meaning to talk to you but I could not approach you before. I hope my… gesture at your presentation didn't offend you. I was merely trying to make you smile," he said nervously, searching her eyes for any sign of discomfort.

Upon realising what gesture he meant, her complexion became slightly rosy as she recalled the moment, "I was very amused by it, do not concern yourself. I was not insulted," she told him softly.

Relieved, he proceeded to take her dancing card and pencil, "Then, may I have your first dance?" he uttered a low, indistinct whisper, hunching slightly to facilitate closeness between them.

Terrible mistake.

He could smell her fragrance—great HEAVENS. He was tempted to draw her closer, to rest his face against her neck, but he restrained himself, for he was aware that such an action would have a profound effect on the entire room. He was conscious of the need to avoid causing any scandal or frightening Penelope with an unseemly display.

Penelope appeared flustered by his abrupt proximity. She had not anticipated that her card would bear the name of a gentleman, nonetheless Colin's. She was so taken aback that she momentarily lost her ability to speak, but as she composed herself and controlled her breathing, Penelope managed to nod, looking up at him due to their height difference and smiling shyly.

Colin was on the verge of crumpling. It was evident that completing the task at hand was going to be a challenge. He was on the path to compromising her before he could even utter the word "Greece.".

She was bloody adorable.

"The waltz, Colin?" she reminded him as she observed him inscribe his name in the designated area, "Oh, and two others?! Colin, you mustn't! Three dances are enough to make people talk, mama told me that!" her face shifted into one of genuine trepidation, as though she had just condemned him.

He smiled giddily, "Three dances mean nothing, Pen. We're just dancing!" after letting go of her card, he gently seized her gloved hand and kissed it, "I shall stick with you for the rest of the evening to ensure you enjoy your first ball."

He observed Penelope's blush intensify, extending from her cheeks to her décolletage. This caused him to experience a sudden sensation of dryness in his throat. He attempted to avoid looking at her bodice for longer than was appropriate, instead directing his gaze towards her blue eyes, which were illuminated by the chandelier above them. He noted that her mouth opened slightly in a gesture of awe as she continued to stare at him.

He wanted to kiss her. NOW.

"Do you truly wish to dance with me tonight?" she whispered, looking at him uncertainly.

He nodded, furrowing his eyebrows in a gesture of concern at her apparent lack of confidence. Has she always been this insecure? He was incredulous that this demure version of his wife was Lady Whistledown—this is why he initially attempted to separate the two women when he first found out about it. He nearly went insane trying to connect the lines that tangled his sweet Penelope and the gossiping scribe together.

"I am in earnest," he assured her with a low voice, "Now!" he leaned back, returning to his normal height and offering her his hand, "Shall we join the dance floor, Ms. Featherington?"

She returned his gaze with a beaming smile, disregarding Prudence's sceptical expression, and placed her smaller hand on his own, "Indubitably, Mr. Bridgerton."

Dancing with Penelope felt right.

He appeared to be in a state of serene contentment, regardless of the temporal circumstances, as he proceeded to engage in a waltz with her amid the ballroom, Colin's attention was solely focused on the two of them as they moved in unison to the melodious strains of the current waltz song. He held her in a manner that was more intimate than would be considered appropriate, but he did so unconsciously as if it were the most natural thing to do. Penelope did not appear to be uncomfortable with this, in fact, she leaned into his touch further, bringing her bosoms closer to his body as his hands lowered to her waist.

He couldn't help but lock his finger in one of her tresses when the choreography led her to sway in front of his body, her back against his chest. He sensed her breath strain when he tucked the curl behind her ear, slowly tracing his finger down her earlobe and feeling her tremble under his touch before the moment ended abruptly and she was back to face him for the remainder of the dance.

They were dancing dangerously.

The blue tones of their eyes stared intently at each other. Colin's gaze was warm and attentive, while Penelope's expression reflected a sense of blissful reverie, as though she were experiencing a dreamlike state.

As the song drew to a close, both felt a sense of disappointment. However, maintaining a cordial demeanour in his wife's presence, Colin proceeded to escort Penelope to the refreshment table, where he offered her a lemonade.

"Colin! Ms. Featherington!"

Benedict approached them with haste, displaying a constrained smile as he looked behind him before bowing to the lady present, and Penelope curtsied in return, nearly spilling her lemonade.

"Good evening, Mr. Bridgerton," she greeted courteously before sipping her drink, enjoying the refreshment after dancing for so long.

"Did you enjoy your first dance with my brother?" he inquired politely.

Penelope nodded, smiling fervently, "Yes, it was perfect. I wasn't nervous at all because of him!" she attempted to rein in her emotions and cast her eyes downwards, recalling the necessity of maintaining decorum, "He guided me on the floor very well."

Benedict nearly chortled, but not in an unkind way, "I am pleased to know that! I apologise for interrupting but I wanted to inform Colin that the rest of our family has arrived."

Colin, who had been observing their interaction with interest, nodded at his brother, "Perhaps we should greet them then," he suggested before addressing Penelope, who was sipping the last of the lemonade in her glass, "Come with us Pen, after all, we still have two more dances awaiting us," he extended his arm, and she accepted it with great alacrity.

He was not letting her go tonight.

Well, when it was time for her to go home, he would, of course.

Benedict concealed his surprise during the moment effectively from Penelope, but Colin was familiar with his mannerisms and therefore warned him to keep his silence with a look. Benedict obeyed with a grin that indicated he found the situation entertaining.

The three proceeded across the room, Benedict in the lead as he attempted to locate his family, while Colin surveyed the dance floor to determine whether Marina Thompson's presence remained consistent. Upon spotting her, he was overcome with an overwhelming sense of dread.

Lord above.

This must have been before she found out she was expecting. Her eyes exhibited a radiant brightness, and her smile was unfeigned—she was simply enjoying herself while attempting to adapt to a new social milieu. She was beautiful. It was merely an observation on his part, he felt no attraction towards her. Marina was encircled by two gentlemen attempting to capture her attention amidst the swarm, the same one he had joined to see her more closely after being captivated by her.

He averted his gaze, ashamed. Instead, he directed his attention to the woman he loved, who was observing the room with a sense of wonder. He smiled affectionately at his wife, who was keenly paying close attention to the surrounding people and environment. This was Lady Whistledown working.

"Anthony! Daph!" Benedict suddenly called out.

Bringing him back from his reverie, Colin looked ahead to see his brother and sister approaching them. He felt Penelope tense as he escorted her towards them and frowned worriedly at her.

This was also the moment Colin would've announced his intention to embark on a Grand Tour at the end of the season. However, as he had never discussed this with his mother or anyone else, he experienced a sense of unease upon realising that the nature of the conversation would be different this time.

"Ms. Featherington!" Anthony greeted her with a bow, smiling cordially, "How do you do?"

She curtsied to him and Daphne, in a similar gesture, greeted her with a smile while regarding the redhead debutant affably.

"Ms. Featherington, I recall seeing you on the dance floor with my brother when I arrived, did my eyes deceive me?" Daphne inquired, her smile evincing mischief, while Colin returned her query with an eye-roll, "Our mother was truly delighted at the sight."

Anthony's eyebrows raised as he shared a questioning look with Benedict, who shook his head with a smile that said 'I'll tell you later'.

Penelope beamed at her, "Indeed we danced and he was most attentive to me, even though I nearly stepped on his shoe."

"You did not, it was Lord Reginald's fault for mistaking his left for his right," Colin assured her quickly before turning to the Viscount and his sister, "That man is a danger and should not be allowed on the dance floor," he elucidated with excessive dramatization, eliciting a chuckle from Penelope and Daphne and an amused smirk from Anthony.

"Ah, our brother seems to be in great spirits!" Benedict commented appreciatively as he patted his back.

Anthony was smiling, yet Colin noted the stern gaze he was wearing, "I hope he has behaved accordingly, Ms. Featherington," he told her lightly.

Penelope blinked quickly, horrified at the mere suggestion, "Of course he has, my lord! He has been nothing but a gentleman this evening!"

Anthony appeared pleased with her answer, "Good."

Colin scoffed at him, "I'm standing right here?"

"And how very handsome you look while doing it so, brother!" Benedict quipped.

Before Colin could formulate a witty riposte, Anthony's eyes widened when he observed the approach of someone from the side.

"On guard!"

Penelope was unaware but Colin acutely knew that the keywords signified Lady Danbury. He observed with amusement as Anthony and Benedict endeavoured to evade her attention while he, Daphne and Penelope remained stationary. He was conscious of the fact that Lady Danbury had previously caused him considerable trepidation. But she was a formidable figure, renowned for her incisive rhetoric and forthright observations. It was unsurprising that few men would have desired to be subjected to her unflinching and scrutinizing eyes.

He didn't want to avoid Lady Danbury anymore.

She had become a close friend of his wife and visited them twice a week for tea. Penelope was constantly following her advice to avoid displeasing the Queen. Lady Danbury genuinely cared for and assisted his wife because of the respect she held for Penelope's work.

"Too late. I already noted you," Agatha proclaimed with an amused smirk.

"Lady Danbury!/Good evening!/Good to see you!" the three Bridgerton men greeted the woman simultaneously, lowering themselves in a bow. Daphne and Penelope, in turn, curtsied.

"Ms. Bridgerton you look rather lovely this evening," she turned to Penelope to acknowledge her as well with a compliment, but her expression faltered, "And Ms. Featherington, your yellow gown continues to marvel the dullest of colours. I noted that you were dancing with Mr. Bridgerton earlier," she looked at Colin now, satisfied with his actions, "Very well done of you, Mr. Bridgerton."

Colin nodded as Penelope smiled despondently.

Turning her attention once more to Daphne, Lady Danbury studied the girl with a discernible gleam in her eyes as she leaned on her cane, "Is there a reason I have yet to see you on the dance floor?"

"All in due time, Lady Danbury," Anthony responded for his sister, inciting a wince from Colin.

Right. This protectiveness his eldest brother held was soon to be the reason the Diamond's downfall. While Colin was genuinely motivated to assist Daphne, he was also reluctant to become overly involved, fearing that his actions might jeopardise her chances of a future with Simon. The outcome of the situation between the Duke and Daphne ultimately ended on a good ending, leading Colin to conclude that it was not his place to intervene in her personal affairs.

Anthony seemed to be overwhelming her enough already.

Lady Danbury eyed Anthony knowingly and slyly leaned towards Daphne with sympathetic eyes, "You poor thing," before walking away from the group.

Daphne is rendered speechless by the woman's comment as Anthony's polite smile falters a little.

As Benedict followed Lady Danbury to use her as a defensive measure against the advances of overly eager mamas, Colin resolved to await the conclusion of the current dance to participate in the next one with Penelope.

Both were now situated adjacent to one of the majestic columns located near the dessert table. He selected two chocolate muffins for Penelope and himself, and the two proceeded to consume them giddily, reminiscent of their childhood pastimes during the hours in which Penelope would visit Eloise.

Colin would consistently find himself in the company of the two girls, listening as they engaged in lively debates about the books they were currently reading and encouraging further on their ideas and thoughts.

He looked at Penelope after taking a bite from his muffin and nearly choked on it when his eyes followed the crumbs of her muffin falling upon her cleavage as she took a bite as well. She was unaware of this as she hummed appreciatively at the taste of the sweet treat. He was reminded of the day inside the tent when his wife had taken a bite from that hellish pastry, coating her lips with the cream and tempting him to lick it off them.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, deciding to cast his attention somewhere whilst Penelope ate.

Curiously, his eyes landed on Lady Featherington. She was currently dragging Prudence and Philippa towards… ah. The Duke of Hastings.

The long-awaited arrival of Simon meant that Daphne would soon meet his acquaintance.

He was still, to this day, confounded by the circumstances that had led to his compromising of Daphne. All Colin could ascertain was that they had been engaged in a mutually agreeable courtship, and then, without warning, Daphne was being courted by Prince Friedrich. This was followed by the unfortunate incident on the night when Anthony demanded satisfaction for catching Simon in the act of compromising Daphne; the altercation nearly resulted in the deaths of both men at dawn. To this day he was relieved he had listened to his sister and complied to her demands of taking her to the location of the duel.

Even though she nearly got shot because of it.

The couple were wed, but not before Daphne had successfully convinced the Duke.

Subsequently, Colin recalls that he was so preoccupied with pursuing Marina Thompson and the prospect of their engagement that he failed to notice the events occurring around him.

"Colin? Our dance is about to begin, do you wish to remain here instead?"

Colin regarded his wife with a tender expression and placed the unfinished muffin on the table to take her gloved hand in his with a gentle grasp, "What I wish is to dance with you, Penelope."

She returned his smile, although her expression conveyed a hint of concern at his sullen mien. It was not surprising that his wife was able to discern his real emotions from the feigned ones. He was amazed that this version of Penelope could already perceive him in such a way—a way that only his mother was able to. They were truly soulmates, and this time he was determined to make things right.

As he escorted her to the dance floor, Colin raised his chin in a gesture of evident pride, indicating his happiness at being in her company. He finally determined the course of action he would pursue in this timeline.

He was going to court Penelope Featherington.

April 7th, 1813

Calling Hours

Colin was enjoying reading his wife's latest column, appreciating her clever use of words and the nuances of her writing with his tea and biscuits.

Tomorrow was her birthday.

He thus resolved to defer the request for her consent to commence courtship until that time.

It appeared that sleeping had enabled him to consider his curious situation with greater clarity. He felt rather foolish for panicking so swiftly.

His plan was simple: to court Penelope, marry her, and then embark on his Grand Tour with her as his wife.

Colin could recall the date of Thomas's conception: it was a date he had indelibly imprinted on his memory. On that day, he had observed a goddess in her full glory, a resplendent siren finally extending clemency by allowing him the privilege of touching her.

How could a man forget the first time he made love with his wife?

All Colin had to do was lay with his wife on that day, to secure Thomas's existence. Until that point, he would either have to finish outside of her or have a new baby. Something he was not opposed to.

He was feeling confident.

He should've known better.

Once he had concluded reading Lady Whistledown's recent column, he placed it on the settee of the drawing room and proceeded to clear the crumbs from his mouth. He then rose to his feet, intending to return to his bedchamber, but the door opened of its own accord, revealing Benedict entering with a pale expression.

Colin was immediately concerned for his brother's well-being. However, before he could inquire about the nature of his distress, Benedict raised a parchment to his face and pointed at it, his lower lip trembling slightly.

Oh God.

His list.

"Colin, what in the everloving fuck is this?"

Chapter 3: angel eyes

Summary:

In which Colin has complicated feelings towards Marina but is quite sure of the ones he has towards Penelope.

aka we're speedrunning everything!!

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

When Colin was eight years old, Benedict caught him attempting to leave Aubrey Hall clandestinely at a late hour to visit the stables, where he hoped to see the recently born foal. Benedict intervened and returned Colin to his bedchamber. Colin was so upset that he believed he would never forgive him. However, when morning came, Colin did.

When Colin was three and ten, attending their mother's soirée, Benedict caught him attempting to eat pastries before the designated time. Benedict admonished him for his misbehaviour and advised him to exercise greater patience, regardless of his appetite. Colin pouted throughout the ball as he observed the guests consume the pastries before him. But when Benedict surprised him with a plate full of them, he forgave him.

Before Colin went to Eton, Benedict hugged him the longest while Colin was bidding farewells to his family. Colin stayed in his brother's embrace as much as he wanted him to, knowing that it would be a long time before he could feel it again.

Therefore, when Benedict nearly thrust the list in his face with widened eyes and a frightened expression, Colin hoped that they could resolve this challenging situation as they had done in the past. He stared at his brother, his eyes alternating between his fearful appearance and the list. He sighed, resolving to address the issue directly and promptly lest his brother go mad.

"Right. That."

Benedict, abruptly, entered the drawing room with a sense of purpose, closing the doors behind him and grasping Colin's arm in a firm but non-threatening manner, guiding him towards one of the windows situated at a greater distance from the door. Colin allowed himself to be led away, as he had been so taken aback by the sudden movement that he had failed to respond to it. It was evident that Benedict was anxious about the circumstances, and Colin could not fault him for that. However, he also began to feel a degree of resentment when he realised that his brother had gone through his belongings without his consent.

Before Benedict could articulate his response, Colin interjected, "Why did you touch my belongings without my permission?" he then attempted to take the parchment from Benedict's grasp, however, Benedict was swift to evade Colin's attempt, "You had no right!" he exclaimed, hurt.

"No ri—Dash that! Colin, I could apologise for doing so, but this," to emphasize it, Benedict held the parchment to his face, "—is a matter of greater significance between us. What on earth is this, Colin? Have you gone mad? I know you have been acting odd lately but this?! This is—well I—I am unable to comprehend what I have just read!" Colin frowned as he observed Benedict reading his list again, noting the erratic movement of his eyes as he attempted to make sense of its contents and the furrowing of his eyebrows in bafflement. He didn't mean to put Benedict in this situation.

"Benedict I do not know how to explain it to you," Colin closed his eyes and massaged his temples in an attempt to alleviate the impending headache that was already forming, "I do not even think you would believe me, brother."

"Try me," Benedict challenged.

Colin reopened his eyes and saw a serious expression on his brother's face—a rare occurrence, "What I have written there, will happen. I know that because…" he paused, anticipating the inimical reaction he knew was forthcoming, "I am from the future. Two days ago, I was in 1816, falling asleep in my wife's arms. When I awoke, it was 1813 and Daphne's debut day."

He leaned back, prepared to face the consequences of his confession. Would Benedict tell Anthony and have him sent to the sanatorium? Would he laugh in his face? Would he hate him? Would he think of him as a liar?

"Dear God… it makes sense."

Huh?

Benedict was no longer looking at him; his eyes were staring at the list with a fixed intensity, "Sir George Crane, Marina Thompson, Eloise, and Ms Featherington—P-Penelope is Lady Whistledown?" he muttered to himself with an amazed expression before looking back at Colin, questioningly, and when Colin nodded in confirmation, Benedict resumed speaking, growing more deranged by the second, "You would never lie about this, right? You have included our sister in this list—Ms Featherington is a dear friend to our family, so you would never misrepresent her, would you?"

"Never," Colin told him solemnly.

Benedict looked defeated, staring into the wall behind Colin and lost in deep contemplation, "So… why have you created this list?" he questioned weakly.

"So I can make things better," Colin placed a hand on his brother's shoulder to comfort him, "Brother, I know what is going to happen in the next three years. I might have not been present in all of the events but I know how to fix them."

Benedict stared at him and his despondent expression shifted into a surprised one, "Ms Featherington is your wife, isn't she?"

Startled at the sudden shift in the topic, Colin recoiled his hand back, "How did you—"

"It makes so much sense now," Benedict added, nodding to himself as slowly, a smirk appeared on his lips, "The way you've been obsessing over the girl since yesterday, the way you sought her out and remained by her side during Lady Danbury's ball—she is your wife!"

Colin's breathing became more rapid at his words and he was unable to suppress it any longer.

"Yes, she is my wife!" he wailed devastatingly as tears welled up in his eyes, "She is my wife and I cannot touch her! I cannot kiss her and hold her in my arms! I—I lost her and my son!" he covered his face in shame, sobbing uncontrollably as he felt Benedict's arms enveloped around him, one of his hands cradled his head as he held him tightly, providing him with a protective barrier from the world as he wept profusely on Benedict's chest, "I have lost everything."

"Ssshh…" Benedict comforted softly, his tone gentle, "I am here, brother. And I believe you. You would never come up with something as creative as this for a lie," he quipped weakly, feeling his little brother tremble a little, "You are not alone anymore. I will help you."

The relief of finally having someone to share this unwanted burden with was overcoming his emotions, Colin couldn't stop crying even if he wanted to. He tried to focus on his brother's comforting touch and his gentle gushing, if someone were to walk in on them now they would certainly have questions about it—and Colin couldn't handle more turmoil today.

Benedict frowned sadly as he held his brother, allowing him to express his grief as he saw fit while keeping an eye on the doors. He was not concerned about being caught in Colin's current state; rather, he was preoccupied with devising an explanation for his little brother's distress.

In the meantime, Benedict stayed by Colin's side, holding him closely.

When Colin was one and ten, his father died. Benedict found him crying alone, away from everyone. So he held him.

And that was enough.

Daphne awoke with a sense of elation and anticipation, contemplating the possibility of encountering her future husband during the calling hours of today. She arose with a radiant smile, her hair lustrous from the lengthy bath she had taken the previous night, and her skin imbued with the aroma of lavender. She was attired in a resplendent baby blue gown, meticulously selected with her mother's guidance, and her coiffure was styled with a touch of elegance.

When she looked at herself in the looking glass, she thought she looked pleasing.

As she proceeded towards the sitting room, she was expecting to find her mother and sisters already present and awaiting her arrival. However, upon reaching for the doorknob, she was startled to hear a sob emanating from within.

Blinking and losing her smile, Daphne leaned towards the door and in a manner that was incongruent with her ladylike composure, she pressed her ear against the door, attempting to discern a familiar voice whilst eavesdropping.

"Now, Colin, you must take a deep breath. Here, use my handkerchief to clean your face—you know what, you may keep it."

She heard Colin laugh weakly before blowing his nose rather loudly.

Daphne's initial confusion was swiftly replaced by concern upon the realisation that the person who had been crying was her favourite brother. Without hesitation, she proceeded to twist the doorknob and enter the room, instantly startling her two brothers as they looked at her with widened eyes.

Colin rapidly turned his back on her, wiping his face with haste. Benedict then advanced to stand before him, regarding her with a smile that was, at once, forced and approachable.

"Sister, there you are!"

"Here I am!" she greeted him with a similar level of feigned enthusiasm as he had displayed previously, before abruptly changing her face, "Colin, what is the matter?" she enquired, moving towards him at a brisk pace. As soon as she saw Benedict opening his mouth, she silenced him with a gesture, indicating that she did not wish to engage with him at that moment, "Colin..." Daphne advanced towards him and touched his arm to gently turn him towards her. Upon seeing his red-rimmed eyes and wet cheeks, her expression softened. "Oh... brother, what has happened?"

Colin sighed, avoiding her eyes as his cheeks flushed with embarrassment, "I am alright, I just needed to talk with Benedict about something troubling me, he was very helpful if you can believe it," he added with a small smirk.

"I resent that!" Benedict gasped, playfully glaring at him.

Daphne looked between the two with a frustrated look, "Do not change the subject, you were crying and I would like to know why!"

Colin smiled tightly at her, "And I assure you, sister, I am fine now," he reassured, and before she could insist, Colin pocketed the handkerchief and placed both hands on her shoulders, steading and silencing her with a pleading look, "You mustn't worry about me, today is about you. It is calling hours, Daph, concern yourself with finding a suitor, not me."

As she gazed into his eyes, Daphne's shoulders slumped in acquiescence, acknowledging the veracity of his words. She could attempt to elicit further information from her brother later, but for the time being, she needed to maintain a clear perspective and focus on her prospects of marriage to avoid spinsterhood. She must marry well and fulfil her dream of having a loving family of her own. However, she was still concerned, even when Colin nodded in gratitude at her for dropping the matter of his well-being or when he departed from the sitting room with Benedict. Daphne was aware that Colin was suffering from some form of distress.

And she was going to find out what was it.

April 8th, 1813

Afternoon - Calling Hours

"Are you sure that courting Ms Featherington won't cause any harm in the future, brother?"

Inside his bedchamber, Colin regarded his brother with a casual smile through the looking glass as he made sure his attire was proper for a rightfully important visit to the Featherington House. Benedict had expressed concern over Colin's desire to alter the past, but Colin had reassured him that marrying Penelope earlier would not significantly impact his family's lives.

"Brother, what I am most worried about is telling Penelope that I know she is Lady Whistledown and Eloise's reaction to it—" he turned around, receiving Benedict's wince with a confident smile, "Truly, I do not think our sister will react so strongly this time since my wife hasn't slandered her name."

"Yet?" Benedict wondered.

"I am sure she will not need to do it anymore after what I have told you."

Yesterday, Benedict and Colin sat by the garden and engaged in a discussion regarding the future. Colin informed his brother of the most pertinent details and attempted to keep his answers to a minimum to avoid any undue disruptions to the past. He revealed that Benedict had not yet married (he rolled his eyes when his brother looked relieved), that Anthony and Francesca had found love and married, and that Daphne would wed the Duke of Hastings at a later point in the season. He also conveyed that Anthony would encounter them in a compromising position and that they would nearly kill each other in a duel for her honour.

Benedict was on the verge of duelling the Duke himself when he heard the word "compromising." However, Colin firmly sat his brother down and explained that they ultimately resolved their conflict. Benedict was prompt to suggest that they should prevent Hastings from committing the reprehensible act towards their sister. However, Colin reluctantly informed him that the moment was crucial to the advancement of their relationship. He further stated that if it had not occurred, they would not have married at all.

Besides, Colin had no idea when it happened. He was preoccupied with the care of his inebriated mother and only became aware of the situation upon his return with her to their home.

"Out of everything I have told you, do you truly think that marrying Penelope two years earlier with cause any disruption?" Colin asked, raising his eyebrow snarkily at his brother.

Benedict smiled fondly and shook his head, "This Theodore Sharpe boy, when do I need to worry about him?"

"Until next year, but I do not think you need to worry about him, Benedict, Eloise is not going to obsess over whom Lady Whistledown is anymore," Colin reminded him, straightening his cravat with a focused expression, "All I need to worry for now is courting my wife and making sure Sir George Crane is saved in time."

Benedict approached his brother, gently moving his hands away from the cravat so he could start mending it instead, "That is another thing I cannot help to fret about—regarding the fact that you want to save someone's life—do you truly think it is wise for us to intervene with death? What if Sir Crane dying, results in saving another soul?"

Colin was rendered speechless, having not previously considered the matter in question., "W-Well, I…"

Benedict sighed, concluding the task of fastening his brother's cravat as he retreated to assess his work, "I commend you for helping Ms Thompson, Colin, but she is not yours to be saved. If what you told me about the future is true, I do not believe she deserves your help after nearly trapping you in a loveless marriage."

Colin looked away, scowling with a conflicted expression, "I know. And believe me, even though I was angry at my wife for announcing to the whole ton that she was with child instead of telling me, to this day I am thankful that she did. She tried to warn me but I disregarded her only because she was 'Pen' to me," he eyed Benedict again, "I have spent so many days wasting my thoughts on Marina's actions and I have forgiven her for what she almost did to me. I wish to help her not because I need to save her, but because she was scared and only trying to secure a safe life for her baby—babies! She is carrying twins!" he let out a tired chuckle, "If I'm going to change our future I might as well help hers as well."

A deafening silence settled between the two, and Colin was prepared to be reprimanded once more for being overly emotional. What he was not anticipating, however, was the subsequent remark made by Benedict.

"I am proud of you."

Colin's breath was caught in his throat at the sheer surprise his body felt, "What?"

Benedict shrugged, "I do not need to repeat myself, Colin. I am simply proud of the man you have become. You are wiser and mature, dash it you might as well be more mature than I am!"

"I am not seeking praises, Be—"

"I know you aren't, you idiot!" Benedict interrupted, growing frustrated over his brother's refusal to accept that he was finally being taken seriously, "I am simply saying that you are right!"

Colin's frown shifted to a confused one, "So you will help me regarding Ms Thompson?" his voice sounded hopeful and Benedict groaned dramatically when he realised his brother was giving him puppy eyes.

"Blasted, Colin! You know I cannot say no to that adorable face!" to emphasise it, he reached for his brother to squeeze his cheeks but Colin saw it coming, stepping away quickly from his grasp to laugh at his failed attempt.

Benedict chuckled with him, "You no longer treat me like a child in the future so you have to be faster than that from now on, brother!" Colin smugly explained, "Now if you excuse me, I have to go court my future wife."

Benedict bowed animatedly and observed as his brother retrieved the bouquet of wildflowers and a velvet box of jewellery from his bed and proceeded towards the door.

"Oh, and Benedict?" he whispered as he opened it, "As we discussed it, tell no one that I am going to ask Penelope in courtship."

Benedict nodded, "Just promise me you will tell our family tomorrow."

Colin smiled in gratitude and departed from the bedchambers, leaving a concerned Benedict behind.

It was relatively simple for Colin to leave his home without being noticed, as everyone was busy welcoming callers to Daphne in the sitting room. Nevertheless, he took care to tread lightly, just in case. His actions were not inherently illicit; however, if he were discovered attempting to leave his house during calling hours with gifts, he anticipated that Anthony would subject him to intense questioning and scrutiny regarding his destination.

Colin crossed Governor Square at a brisk pace, contemplating Penelope's reaction. Truly it couldn't come as a surprise; after all, he remained by her side during her first ball and danced exclusively with her—he wasn't going to overlook the fact that Lady Featherington would periodically glance their way as he danced with Penelope. She was a discerning matriarch, always keenly observing potential suitors for her daughters.

Upon reaching the Featherington house, he was not surprised to find the door ajar. He remembers that Marina Thompson also received a considerable number of callers, nearly as much as the Diamond of the season did.

"Mr Bridgerton, what a delight to see you!" Varley greeted him from the lowest step of the staircase. She was carrying a tray of used teacups, undoubtedly about to send new ones to the sitting room.

He nodded at her, smiling, "Good day Mrs Varley, I am here to—"

"Yes, yes, Ms Thompson is in the sitting room with Lady Featherington and the girls," she informed him briskly as she hastened away to attend to the numerous guests in her care.

He paused, gazing at the point where she had disappeared before resuming his journey up the stairs, smiling at the realization that he was finally about to see his wife again. As he proceeded down the corridor to the final room on his left, he was greeted by the floral aroma of numerous bouquets and the sweet scent of expensive sweets that had been selected with great care to woo Ms Thompson.

The Featherington sitting room was of a lesser capacity than the Bridgerton one, and the presence of ten callers within it resulted in it being slightly stuffy and full—he sniffed, smiling boyishly when he found her. She was seated on a settee by herself, feigning her attention towards a book while observing her cousin converse with a gentleman with keen eyes and a knowing smirk. It appeared that Lady Whistledown was engaged in her customary practice of observation.

Colin nearly laughed at how obvious it was now that he knew she was the scribe.

He cleared his throat loudly, announcing his presence in the room.

"Mr Bridgerton!" Lady Featherington cried, "How wonderful to see you here!" she looked at the gifts he was holding eagerly, "What brings you here?"

He nearly rolled his eyes, sending her an affable smile, "I am here to see Ms Featherington."

He ignored the way Ms Thompson's expression grew surprised. In his opinion, she should continue speaking to the gentleman who was exhibiting overt interest in her instead of staring at him.

Portia pursed her lips inwardly to prevent herself from displaying excessive mirth as she proceeded with haste towards Prudence and Philippa, "Which one of my darling, beautiful daughters are you here to call on?" she cooed, placing a hand on each of her daughters' shoulders.

This gesture was intended to signal them to smile charmingly towards the man in question. Which they did.

Without hesitation, Colin heeded Penelope with unwavering attention, locking eyes with her in a tender gaze, "Penelope, of course," he answered dulcetly, bowing towards her as a greeting.

Penelope nearly dropped the book she was holding before rising to her feet with undue alacrity, throwing it on the settee and wriggling her fingers self-consciously, "Good day, Co— Mr Bridgerton," she curtsied, her legs wobbling a little, likely a result of her nervous state.

He wanted to hold her.

Lady Featherington looked at him discombobulated, "P-Penelope?! Why—o-of course! My Penelope!" upon releasing her grasp on her eldest daughters, she nearly collided with Ms Thompson as she moved to stand alongside her youngest.

He attempted to maintain a neutral expression, despite the urge to laugh, "I was thinking, the weather is quite nice today and it is rather…" he looked around the room, "—stuffy in here. Pen, if you don't mind, could we go sit outside in the garden?"

From his peripheral vision, he observed Lord Featherington close his newspaper and direct a disapproving gaze in his direction.

Right.

"With a chaperone, of course," he mentally cursed. It had never been necessary for them to have a chaperone before. Rae had been easily persuaded to leave them alone when they finally required one following their engagement, but she was not present. Colin hoped that Lord Featherington would volunteer for the role.

"I can chaperone them, mama," Philippa drawled, her tone bored, "It is not as if I will have a caller today."

Portia gave her daughter a look of disapproval as Marina took her leave of the gentleman she had been conversing with. The matriarch regarded the Duke with displeasure as he departed without offering a proper farewell, and she was visibly disgruntled when another gentleman took his place.

"Nonsense, calling hours are still not over!" she chastised her lightly with a quick smile, reminding herself that they had callers over.

Colin was beginning to grow impatient, "Excuse me, Lady Featherington, I may send one of your butlers to fetch someone in my house to chaperone us, I wouldn't want to borrow anyone from your staff since they are so busy today," he offered cordially, which elicited a slight swoon from Penelope, who was charmed by his considerate nature.

"That is very kind of you, sir."

Even the gentleman who had been conversing with Ms Thompson appeared surprised when she abruptly turned her attention to Colin. His body immediately tensed and the grip he had on Penelope's bouquet tightened when he properly looked at Marina. Her use of a sweet voice and fluttering eyelashes was a strategy that had previously been effective with most gentlemen; it had been effective with him three years ago. However, as a married man who was exclusively devoted to one woman, Colin regarded her with an unfazed countenance, bowing towards her as any other gentleman would.

Given the circumstances, Lady Featherington was compelled to introduce them, and with evident reluctance, she indicated her unwelcome guest, "Mr Bridgerton, this is Ms Marina Thompson, she is related to my husband and she will be staying with us for the whole season. Ms Thompson, this is Mr Colin Bridgerton," her voice lacked vitality and enthusiasm, it prompted him to see the hurried introduction with great amusement.

His amusement, however, faded when he noticed Penelope's face crumple as her mother talked. Did she believe he would be more interested in her cousin now that they had been introduced? He smiled fondly towards her, even though she didn't notice it.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Mr Bridgerton, perhaps instead of the garden you and Penelope could stay here and—"

Colin, in a measured and restrained manner, quickly interjected, "I thank you but no, Ms Thompson. I'd rather have some privacy," Lord Featherington cleared his throat, "—chaperoned," Colin quickly added, "with Penelope. As I said before, it is rather stuffy in here," he smiled genially towards Lady Featherington, encouraging her to proceed. He was confident that her instincts would prove invaluable in facilitating being with Penelope.

Her eyes widened in realisation, "Mr Bridgerton is right!" she exclaimed ingratiatingly before beaming at Penelope, "Dearest, why are you still standing here? Go on then, Mr Bridgerton is waiting for you!" she gave her a little push towards him, not enough to make her fall, but it was in Penelope's nature to be a little clumsy so she did stumble somewhat on her gown as she proceeded towards him.

Colin moved, prepared to catch her, but he didn't need to. In the end, they met halfway, both aware of the eyes that were upon them.

"Pen, you look beautiful," he complimented her softly, bringing her gloved hand to his lips, eliciting a gasp from someone in the room, "May we?" he offered her his arm and in a trance, she took it.

"Yes, Colin," she whispered, wholly enraptured by him, as her lips parted in astonishment, realising that this was truly happening. Colin Bridgerton had indeed called on her.

They left the sitting room before anyone could remember they ended up not having a chaperone at all.

The Featherington garden, where he had spent considerable time with Penelope, evoked a plethora of memories for Colin. Many significant moments had been shared in this garden, yet he held a particular memory close to his heart: their first kiss. This clandestine encounter, which took place under the cloak of a quiet night, remained a cherished secret between them. It was this kiss that led him to fully comprehend the profound warmth Penelope brought to his life.

It was when he realised it had been love.

He guided her towards the bench where he had previously offered an apology three years ago, profoundly regretting that she had overheard his distasteful remark about her at the Featherington Ball. Penelope took a seat and allowed the hem of her dress to fall gently around her. Upon sitting at her side, Colin finally presented her with the bouquet, observing her eyes light up at the sight of her favourite flowers.

"Oh Colin, they are lovely!" she gushed with admiration, bringing the flowers close to her face so that she could smell them. Her eyes closed and a smile formed on her lips, which caused him to gaze at her expression, longing to see the day when he could finally claim her lips and hold her close.

He waited until she returned her beautiful eyes to him, "I am glad you like them," he stated proudly before presenting her with the velvet jewellery box and anticipating her adorable yet confused expression.

"Colin, what is that?" she inquired, settling her flowers on the little space between them and giving the box a curious look.

"This, Pen," he proceeded to place the box on her palm, with his hand cupped above it, "is your birthday gift. Happy birthday, Penelope," he softly congratulated.

Colin was concerned about her delayed reaction as she gaped between the box and his face.

"You… remembered?" she whispered emotionally.

Colin frowned and with a nod of his head, moved closer towards her, "I would never forget such an important date," he muttered lowly, relishing the sight of her cheeks flushing a little at his closeness.

"Thank you, Colin, besides Eloise I do not think anyone remembered… I cannot blame Mama, of course, she's been so busy with Marina," she told him wetly, her eyes brimming with tears that had not yet been shed, "But… thank you."

The tone of voice she carried reminded Colin of how mature his wife could suddenly be out of nowhere. He smiled at her, utterly besotted, "You are welcome, Penelope," he didn't miss the way she looked away when he addressed her with her full name, "Now please, do open it. I'd like to see if you like it or not!" he added more lightly, trying to keep this moment positive between them.

With a warm smile, Penelope peered into the box and was pleasantly surprised to discover the most exquisite jewellery she had ever seen. The pendant, elegantly wrought in gold, boasted a pear-shaped drop of emerald green, delicately suspended from a shimmering opal of ethereal hue. Its simplicity only enhanced its charm.

Penelope pondered the number of dresses she could acquire just to complement this pendant and ensure she never removed it.

Colin was satisfied with the way she reacted. He chose emerald because it reminded him of when she became serious about her future three years ago and surprised everyone at Lady Danbury's ball, donning an exquisite emerald gown, a stark contrast to the typical Featherington yellow.

That evening, she had appeared absolutely ravishing; he regretted not having been able to dance with her even once.

"It's… beautiful!" she struggled to find the right words to express her deep admiration for the gift she received, "Colin I love it! I will cherish it forever!" with a giddy expression, she closed the box and hugged it to her chest while smiling at him.

His heart soured fondly as he watched how content she appeared at the moment. However, it was time to get serious.

"Penelope… Ms. Featherington," he cleared his throat, extending his hand in her direction and allowing her to decide whether or not to take it, "I came here to… ask you something."

Penelope anxiously placed her hand on his palm, "Yes?" she encouraged, blinking rapidly in bewilderment.

"I would like to begin courting you."

She stared.

"If you will have me, of course."

She kept staring.

"You do not have to accept it just because of the gifts, I would have given them to you anyways but—" he was becoming uneasy due to her silent demeanour and intense gaze, "I mean this, Pen, I… I wish to begin a courtship with you."

Penelope reacted by quickly pulling her hand away from his, causing his heart to sink as he braced himself for the worst outcome—she was rejecting him. He realized he had been too hasty and overbearing in trying to accelerate their marriage, foolishly thinking she loved him enough to marry him at that moment. Waiting until the following year might have been a better decision, but now it was too late - she would most likely try to avoid him to gently reject him.

"Colin, could you do me a favour and pinch my arm, please?" Penelope abruptly inquired, her voice filled with astonishment.

"I beg your pardon?" he choked, staring at her in disbelief as she reached out her arm towards him.

"Pinch my arm, Colin. I merely want to find out if this is a dream or reality," she said matter-of-factly.

Lord above, he loved this woman so much. Her oddness was hilariously charming.

Colin, being her obedient servant, softly squeezed her arm and witnessed her squeal, retracting it rapidly as she gazed at the tiny, red spot he had pressed. For a brief moment, he questioned if he had caused her pain before she suddenly widened her eyes, staring at him in disbelief as her mouth opened and closed in shock.

"I am n-not dreaming?"

He smiled kindly at her, "You are not."

"You truly wish to court me?"

Even though he didn't appreciate her doubtful attitude, he still nodded, "I am in earnest, Penelope."

"...why?" she pleaded softly, "Why me?"

He paused to inhale deeply before baring his soul to her, "Firstly, you are my closest friend. I have grown up with you, talked with you about things I would never discuss with my brothers and sisters and I trust you completely," even though he felt betrayed in the past, Colin never stopped trusting his wife and stood by every word he said, "You are a constant presence in my life, ever since I remember being assaulted by a devilishly yellow head covering," he grinned as she laughed in response to the recollection.

"It was not my fault! The wind blew it off my head!" she quickly clarified, causing him to chuckle.

"Well, you certainly seemed pleased when I landed in the mud!" he playfully accused, delighting in the sound of her laughter.

"I apologised!" she retorted jokingly.

"Yes, and you were so very charming about it," he continued gingerly, feeling a sense of familiarity with the conversation as he leaned in close to her, "teasing me, mercilessly in fact. And I think I know why…" he glanced at her lips longingly.

Penelope's light-heartedness changed into a more demure one as she grasped his insinuation, "Why?" she whispered.

His throat felt very dry at the moment, but that didn't hinder him, "Because you liked me. And so did I. And…" he swallowed quickly, realising that Penelope was also leaning towards him and that their voices had mixed in hushed whispers, "… meeting you was one of the greatest things that could have happened to me. I know you have become closer to Eloise over the years but when you pay attention to solely me, it brings me warmth. It makes me happy," he earnestly told her, his eyebrows furrowing as he concentrated on her face.

"Colin…" she whispered urgently, glancing at his lips.

Oh, fuck it.

Remembering that it was her first kiss, Colin was cautious as he gently captured her lower lip with his own. She returned the kiss right away, reassuring him that she was not intimidated by how sudden it was. Colin realized that he could not expect the same level of intensity from his inexperienced wife, so the kiss wasn't as passionate as it usually was between them. However, kissing her like this was still preferable to not kissing her at all.

It was brief, gentle, and sweet. However, she continued to make small noises that filled him with desire. She nearly drove him mad with her adorable moaning.

Pulling back a little to regard her reaction, Colin was satisfied at how beguiled she looked at him, completely rapt in how wonderful kissing him felt. He couldn't resist smiling proudly at what he had achieved—all from just a brief kiss! He was eagerly anticipating his wife's responses to experiencing numerous firsts once more.

"Colin… that was wonderful! I wish to kiss you again!" she quickly told him, placing her hands on his arms to draw him closer.

He chuckled softly, tilting his head towards her, "There is nothing I would rather do than comply with your orders, Pen, but I would like to do this the correct way," he bestowed upon her forehead a brief but affectionate kiss, which caused her to gasp but then pout as she realised he had not kissed her lips instead, "I am going to court you," he told her confidently.

Penelope stared in awe at him, still not truly understanding if she was lost in one of her reveries again or if this was her new reality, "I… I accept your courting! I…" smiling shyly, she drew her hands away from his arms, recalling propriety whilst blushing, "I have always lo–loved you, Colin, always admired you from afar. I cannot believe you…" she sniffed a little, trying to articulate the right words without succumbing to tears.

It was too much for her, to finally have the attention of the man she desired. Is she truly deserving of him? He could undoubtedly do so much better than Penelope Featherington yet here he was, calling on her and asking to officially court her. He was going to seek her out during social events and dance with her in front of the whole ton, thereby demonstrating his intentions. Penelope's heart was fluttery akin to the wings of the butterflies that filled her stomach—she nearly felt faint at how overwhelmed she felt at the moment.

"Pen… please don't cry, I am here…" he gently cooed, tucking a strand of her tresses behind her ear, "Please believe me, I am sorry for the anguish I have caused you," he apologised not only to her but also to future Penelope as well, despite her assertion that he was not under no obligation to do so, Colin would ask for forgiveness nearly every day, "Now let us return to your mother and tell her the news, I wish everyone in the ton to know that I am officially courting Penelope Featherington!" he rose to his feet, assisting her in rising as well, and waited patiently as she retrieved her flowers with a serene expression.

"This has been the best birthday I have ever had, Colin," she told him heartily.

He grasped her hand reassuringly and began leading her back inside, "I will give you good birthdays from now on, Pen. I promise you."

April 9th, 1813

Early morning

Upon his return to his home yesterday, Colin informed Benedict what had transpired. His brother expressed joy for him and Penelope and offered his sincerest wishes for their future together. However, Benedict also advised him that, now that the matter was officially settled, it was time to reveal the news to their family before they discovered it through other means.

As in, while reading Lady Whistledown.

Colin was certain that his wife would include their courtship in this morning's sheet, which led him to conclude that she had gone to the printer alone the previous night. It was an oversight on his part to have forgotten that today was the day the sheets were to be posted.

Given that she had not experienced any attacks in the past, he was confident in her ability to maintain her safety. It was reasonable to assume that if Penelope had encountered any issues, Lady Featherington would have conveyed it to him. After all, she had expressed great elation upon hearing of the courtship when Colin apprised her of the news.

When Penelope and Colin had walked inside the sitting room, holding hands and smiling at each other, it was an announcement that needed no words—yet, Colin was proud when he told his future in-laws about it. He disregarded the expressions of shock and bewilderment on Prudence and Philippa's faces and the somewhat bemused yet cheerful smile on Marina's lips. Portia's expression of sheer triumph was sufficient to override the other reactions in the room.

Penelope was the recipient of effusive praise from her mother that afternoon. Despite her discomfort, it was evident that Penelope was relishing the opportunity to receive positive attention from her mother for once.

Leaving her again had been difficult for Colin but he knew he would have the rest of his life to have her by his side.

The objectives for the day were to inform his family of the situation, to endure Anthony's scrutiny and to begin his preparation for his Grand Tour, which has since been designated as his honeymoon. Given that he was already intending to undertake the journey with her, it was prudent for him to begin preparations promptly so they could depart immediately following the wedding.

Oh, and if feasible, he also intended to prevent Lord Berbrook from entering his home.

La! Could you imagine that he would allow that unsuitable and disgusting man near his sister this time?

Lady Whistledown had intervened before, but she wouldn't had to this time. Colin was determined to employ every means at his disposal to persuade his brother to reconsider and refrain from forcing the engagement without their sister's consent.

He nodded to himself and thanked his valet when he was finally prepared to join his family for the morning repast. Upon departing his bedchambers, Colin began to contemplate the best timing to disclose the news. Would it be more prudent to do so before or after the meal? He was aware that it had to be before his wife's gossip sheet reached their doorstep that morning so he needed to make haste.

Entering the room where they ate together, Colin greeted everyone sitting at the grand table with a radiant smile, "Good morning, family!"

Violet placed down her cup of tea to beam at her son, "Colin, dearest, you seem to be in a splendid mood this morning," she emitted a soft chuckle when he leaned down and pressed a kiss on the crown of her head.

"I am! I am very happy, indeed," he assured her before taking his usual seat, smiling at Gregory and Hyacinth who looked both sleepy and intrigued.

Francesca smiled sleepily at him, "I wish I could be as happy as you are so early in the morning…"

"Indeed, Francesca," Anthony told her, giving her a fond smile when she rubbed her eye groggily before turning towards his brother, "How good to see you up so early, Colin, I was afraid you wouldn't join us this morning. May we know the reason for this happiness?" he inquired, staring at him with a keen expression

Daphne, who swallowed her blueberry scone bite, rolled her eyes at the viscount, "Honestly, can't our brother be happy for no reason?" she pointed out bitterly, still visibly annoyed that he had scared away a considerable number of callers the previous day.

Eloise scoffed, reaching for a scone, "Perhaps he finally decided to embark on his grand tour!"

Violet gasped, giving her son an apprehensive look, "Is your sister correct, Colin?"

Francesca lowered her toast and with a forlorn expression, "When are you leaving?"

"Please take me with you!" Hyacinth begged.

"Where are you starting the tour?" Gregory cut her off, receiving a glare from his little sister.

Colin sighed tiredly at his family's antics, he wished to speak but every time he opened his mouth a new voice would ask a new question.

"Perhaps we should allow our merry brother to speak without drawing any conclusions?" Benedict interjected, elevating his voice higher than anyone's on the table with a cheerful tone.

Anthony narrowed his eyes at him with great suspicion.

"Thank you, brother," Colin acknowledged him with a nod and rose from his chair, ensuring that his family was looking at him so that he could gain their attention, "Family, Anthony is right. My good humour isn't random. I have the best news to share with you all, the people whom I love the most," he cleared his throat, "Yesterday I called on Penelope Featherington and she has accepted my courtship request."

Expectantly, he was met with heavy silence and stunned expressions—except for Benedict, who tried not to laugh when he took a sip from his tea, eyeing his family with great amusement.

Violet, striving to maintain a sense of composure, radiated pride as she regarded her son. Prior to her introduction to society, Penelope continued to occupy a prominent position within the Bridgerton house, where she was regarded as a figure of comfort and accepted by all members of the family. Eloise exhibited optimal behaviour in Penelope's presence and years ago, Penelope had even assisted Colin with his dance lessons in preparation for his coming out. From time to time, she pondered whether her son felt any romantic interest in the redhead. Her suspicions were heightened when he singled her out during Lady Danbury's Ball. She felt immense joy witnessing him dance with the Featherington girl and remain by her side. Therefore, the news did not come as a shock to her. Nevertheless, Violet was still pleasantly surprised by it.

Anthony placed his coffee cup on the table with great care, lest he drop it. He inhaled sharply and exhaled slowly, casting a calculated look upon his brother. Penelope Featherington was a commendable young lady and a close friend of their family. She was an accomplished dancer and a devoted friend to Eloise. Hyacinth was greatly fond of being in the company of her whenever she came to visit. It was evident that Gregory held an innocent infatuation with Penelope. He consistently accompanied her and Eloise, which often proved irksome to his sister. Penelope Featherington was well-bred, the daughter of a lady and a lord. She was amiable, well-mannered, and modest. Anthony only saw one potential flaw in Penelope: her family. Her sisters were frivolous, her mother obsequious, and her father had a reputation for accruing significant gambling debts, resulting in his absence from the club.

Nevertheless, he was unable to find a reason for disapproving of the courtship, particularly given Colin's evident joy. His logic was thus temporarily undermined—at least he had informed them all of the manner instead of letting them know after proposing to the girl.

Daphne gaped at her brother, a slow smile crossing her lips as she shared a conspirational grin with her mother—it actually ended up happening, the teasing that Daphne did at Lady Danbury's ball proved to be right! Her brother was courting Penelope and she was so happy for both of them. Penelope was a sweet girl and she was sure she would be a good Bridgerton!

Eloise was experiencing a state of confusion and rising anger. She was uncertain as to the rationale behind her brother's decision to pursue her closest friend and similarly struggled to comprehend Penelope's acquiescence. They were supposed to be spinsters together, weren't they? When Penelope sought Eloise's counsel regarding her premature debut, Eloise reassured her that she would be fine. However, her brother had circumvented her and likely exerted pressure on Penelope to accept the courtship. She took a deep breath, halting her thoughts. Eloise was aware that Colin would never do such a thing, particularly to Penelope. Yet, she was grappling with the cause behind this abrupt courtship. Was it possible that...

No.

It couldn't be.

Penelope would have told her, right? Is it possible that… they were in love? Eloise slumped on her chair, staring at her plate in bewilderment as she continued to be engrossed in her thoughts.

Francesca was astonished at her brother's swift decision to settle down. She had assumed that his wanderlust would prevail over his desire to wed, but it appeared that she had misjudged him. She empathized with his elation at the announcement and returned his gaze with a beaming smile.

Gregory pouted, conveying a sense of mixed emotions, comprising a combination of happiness and disappointment. On the other hand, Hyacinth displayed a clear expression of excitement, enthusiastic about the prospect of Penelope becoming her official sister, should the courtship prove successful.

"You must be jesting, Penelope?!" Eloise rose from her chair and slammed her hands on the table, causing the utensils to nearly fall on the floor. She angrily cried, "What on earth caused you to suddenly court my friend?!"

Colin narrowed his eyes at her, "She is my friend as well, Eloise! She does not belong to you!"

Before Eloise could retort Anthony rose from his chair, silencing her.

"Eloise that is enough, please calm down!" Anthony chastised her firmly, holding a calm tone, "Both of you, sit down. We will talk about this as a family."

Eloise sat down brusquely, crossing her arms and glaring at Colin as she continued to attempt to discern his true intentions.

Colin disregarded her as he also took his seat, not enjoying being managed by his brother but respecting him enough to obey as twenty-year-old Colin would have.

"I am very happy for you brother, I love Penelope! I hope you marry her, she shall make the most beautiful bride!" Hyacinth piped in with a cheerful remark, earning a soft smile from Colin.

"I agree but I am sad that you will marry before I am of enough age for you to take me to a tavern," Gregory mumbled, surprising Colin as those were the exact words he told him before.

"I am also happy for you Colin, Penelope is a sweet girl and we all adore her. Hopefully, you won't make a mistake during the courtship so she can become my new sister," Daphne playfully taunted him, taking a sip of her tea with a smile as he rolled his eyes affectionately.

He looked at Francesca expectantly and she nodded at him with a smile, "I also am happy for you, brother. I wish you good luck during the courtship."

Colin smiled warmly at her before looking at his mother, who was beaming with him, nearly crying as well, "Penelope has always been a girl whom I loved seeing present in this house Colin, she will always be welcome. If she were to become a Bridgerton I know in my heart that even your father, God have his soul, would approve of her."

The room fell silent in response to her remark, and even Eloise's angry demeanour softened. Seeing her mother happy about Colin's courtship to Penelope helped Eloise to understand her own emotions. She realised that she had been pouting and sulking over her brother's happiness, as if she were trying to derive attention from others about how she felt about their courtship, rather than focusing on how they felt about it. She watched Colin's expression towards their mother, noting a distinct expression of relief and delight. He genuinely desired to court her friend.

"Thank you, mama, that means a lot to me," he uttered, visibly affected by the mention of his late father. Edmund Bridgerton did meet Penelope when they were younger, it had been her first time at Aubrey Hall, a year before his tragic death. He was convinced that his father would have approved of Penelope as a daughter-in-law as he had enjoyed her company during the time spent together.

Benedict, who had been silently watching his family's chaotic reaction towards the news, felt himself being watched. He knew Anthony was staring daggers at him, waiting to see if he would falter at any moment and give him what he wanted—but Benedict knew how to deal with his brother, he simply kept his eyes on Colin with a supportive smile.

"As much as I love all the excitement so early in the morning, we must pray for our brother to succeed in courting Ms Featherington and not to make a fool out of himself!" he teased, grinning toothily when Colin glared challengingly at him.

"I won't fail!" he stated vehemently.

Anthony decided to finally speak, "Very well Colin, although I find this courtship very sudden, I am happy if this is what you truly desire. But we need to have a conversation later in the day."

Colin's smile faltered a little, "Of course," nothing that Anthony could tell him would change his mind. Green or not, Colin was not going to give up his courtship with Penelope.

Notes:

and to think i only advanced two minutes of the episode in this chapters LMAOOOO

sorry if the ending was a bit rushed, I've been working on this chapter for days and I didn't want to force myself to write more.

Expect shorter chapters from now on so I can avoid being overwhelmed!

Chapter 4: count on me

Summary:

in which colin forgets

Notes:

Ok, so shorter chapter (6k words lmao) this time! I am pacing myself to avoid being overwhelmed lol. Anyway, at this point, episode 1 is going to be 10 chapters long! (Just kidding)

Enjoy! :)

ps. at this point i am begging the show to have a proper timeline because i am going insane trying to write one :'D

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Dearest Reader,

This author finds herself compelled to share the most curious of news. It seems our Diamond requires a closer inspection. As such, an even rarer jewel of only the most remarkable brilliance, fire, and luster has been unearthed.

Her name, unknown to most, yet soon known to all, is Miss Marina Thompson.

This author is left to wonder whether Her Majesty might reconsider the high praise she once afforded Miss Bridgerton… for we all must know what the queen despises more than anything—Being wrong.

And the drawing room at the Bridgerton House currently appears to be emptier than the muddled head of her dearest King George.

It follows that Lady Featherington is to receive what she always desired: the season's true Incomparable living under her own roof.

She must be overjoyed.

And now, dear reader, this author has another bizarre announcement for you all. It has reached this author's ears that Colin Bridgerton has officially begun courting Penelope Featherington.

This author wonders why the third son of such an illustrious family has decided to exchange his well-known wanderlust for the marriage mart at such a young age—it is a wonder if Miss Penelope Featherington is deserving of such prospects, after all, a bitter lemon cannot compare to the salt of the freeing sea.

Dear readers, perhaps Miss Penelope Featherington should keep a close eye on her suitor, lest he realises that yellow is an unfit colour for his captivating blue eyes.

Yours truly,

Lady Whistledown

April 10th, 1813

Colin should have been aware that Anthony would not have delayed approaching him to discuss the announcement he had made at the table. However, to accost him a mere ten minutes later was unexpected, even for him. He now found himself seated in the chair in front of Lord Bridgerton's desk, the man himself seated in his leather chair, regarding him with a stern yet curious gaze.

"Explain."

Colin nearly rolled his eyes at the certainty of his tone—of how Anthony was confident that he would obey him.

Before he can utter a word, the sound of a knock on the door is audible, and Benedict makes an abrupt entrance, displaying an affable smile as he regards the two men.

"Benedict, you're late," Anthony pointed out, clasping his hands together in front of his face in a contemplative manner, "But I'm sure you already know everything, such as this sudden courtship."

Benedict and Colin shared an alarmed look, which made Anthony smirk knowingly.

"Do not deny it, brother."

Benedict chuckled nervously, "I merely kept my promise, Ant, it was not my intention to withhold information from you."

Anthony narrowed his eyes at him, "I am not upset that you did not tell me, I am only surprised that Colin chose not to come to me first!"

Colin, growing tired of being treated like chopped liver, spoke up, "So you are jealous?"

Benedict bit his lower lip to suppress a smile as Anthony gave his brother an incredulous look.

"Jealous? Are you mad? One might be forgiven for questioning the rationale behind your decision to embark on a clandestine courtship with Penelope Featherington, particularly given your evident lack of transparency regarding your intentions! I simply wished to know what was going on inside your mind! What do you plan to do in the future!" Anthony explained, standing up from his chair abruptly and pacing around the desk to look down at his brother with a tensed jaw, "Colin, do you trust me?" he added, more softly now.

Colin, rendered momentarily mute by the abrupt emotional outburst from his brother, nodded, "Of course…." he muttered weakly.

Anthony frowned, moving towards the window now as he overlooked the street outside, "Then why did you keep your intentions from me? Did you think I would have stopped you? Were you… scared I would have forbidden it?" he swallowed dryly, forcing the words out of his mouth. Anthony was aware that he could be strict at times, but Colin's decision to conceal this from him had truly hurt him. Did his brother believe that he was a heartless man who would not offer his support to this courtship?

Colin shared a worried look with Benedict before he stood up and approached his older brother, placing a hand on his should and gently turning him around to face him, "Anthony, I do not think that. I only wanted to make sure Penelope would agree to this courtship before I announced it to the family. I was not going to tell anyone—Benedict found out by chance. He…" he sighed, closing his eyes momentarily to display and embarrassed expression as he lowered his voice to a whisper, "…he went through my belongings and saw my practice letters for Penelope, the ones I wrote to plan what to tell her."

Another white lie, Colin thought, couldn't hurt.

Anthony fixed his gaze upon him, contemplating the situation. He then turned his attention to Benedict, who was returning his gaze with a sheepish expression, "Ah…" he nodded curtly and attempted to hide his shame with a neutral expression, "Forgive me, Colin. That is…" clearing his throat as the moment got awkward, Anthony chose to send a reproachful look towards Benedict, "You should have not done that, brother. It is a shameful thing to do, go through someone's belongings like that. It is a very untoward behaviour on your part."

Colin rolled his eyes and sat back down again when he realised Anthony was trying not to laugh.

"No, Colin! I mean it. I am on your side, Benedict should have not done that," Anthony continued, placing a hand on his shoulder reassuringly, "He will be properly punished for it," he promised lightly, smirking in Benedict's direction.

"Oi? Punishment? I am not a child anymore!" Benedict complained mockingly.

Colin sighed, "Could you two please take this seriously now?"

Chuckling, Anthony took his place behind the desk again, sitting down with a less stern expression, "I am going to take you seriously, but first I must ask—" his pleased face lowered into a solemn one, "Did you compromise the girl? Because if you did, I won't have a choice but to duel—"

"You would duel your own brother?" Benedict interjected amusedly, receiving a glare from the viscount.

"I have not! I am a gentleman!" Colin protested at the same time.

Although he knew what she looked like nude and had seen and tasted the silky skin and tenderness of her exquisite breasts through her bodice, Colin knew he wanted to take things slowly this time, at least until they were married.

"And I intend to marry her at the end of the season," he continued passionately, "My love for her was not a thunderbolt from the sky. It started with a smile, a word, a teasing glance. Every second I have spent in her presence nurtured it until I reached this moment, and suddenly I knew. I love her," he elucidated, his voice quavering with reverence as he recalled how resplendent she had appeared in her bridal gown.

"Bloody hell…" Benedict sighed with an awed look.

Anthony exhaled noisily, impressed by Colin's words, "I had no idea… I won't lie to you, I have noticed how close you were with Ms Featherington before but I did not worry since you two were not out in society yet," he admitted, "But you are not children anymore, Colin. You are an eligible gentleman and she is a debutant—you must take this courtship seriously, not only for her sake but for our family as well."

Scowling, Colin rose from his chair and threw his arms in the air in frustration, "You think I don't know that already! Dash it all, Anthony! What will it take for me to prove to you I can be responsible? I've already told you I am serious about Pen and you insist on telling me what to do! I am a gentleman and I would never compromise Penelope Featherington in any way—she is my friend and the woman I wish to make my wife! I am very serious about our courtship and I want you to stop doubting me!" he protested fervently, maintaining eye contact with Anthony. His tone was not accusatory but rather exasperated. He sought to assert his desire to act independently without being met with scepticism or doubt.

He missed that about his life.

"Brother… calm down," Benedict motioned for him to sit down again, "I wish it wasn't too early for drinks, we three obviously are in need of one," he added lightly.

Anthony was silent as he regarded Colin with a thoughtful expression. For a few seconds, the room was silent, and a palpable tension grew as Colin sat down again with a tired sigh, his eyes conveying the emotional turmoil he was experiencing.

Suddenly, Anthony rose from his chair and nodded towards Colin with a firm expression, "Very well, Colin. I will trust you with Ms. Featherington, after all, I have Daphne to worry about. You're no longer a boy, so I am sure you can make good choices on your own."

Colin was taken aback by the swiftness of Anthony's acceptance, which contrasted starkly with his initial reaction to Ms Thompson. Perhaps Penelope's status as a close family friend may have influenced the viscount's favourable stance. Nevertheless, Colin responded with a smile and stood, extending his arm in a gesture of thankfulness towards his brother.

"Thank you, brother," Colin sighed in relief, shaking Anthony's hands mirtfully.

"Well then," Benedict clapped before standing up too, looking at the moment with ease, "Glad that's over!"

Anthony nodded, beaming at the two as he retracted his arm again, "I just need to know, how did Lady Featherington react? I am sure that, and I mean this respectfully, she was thrilled that she finally got what she wanted—to marry one of her daughters off."

"Oh, most assuredly. But it did irritate me that she saw Penelope as a last option. Their housekeeper even thought I was there for Ms Thompson…" Colin told him conversationally.

"Ms Thompson?" Anthony wondered.

"A pretty chit. According to Lady Whistledown, she has had the Featherington drawing room full of potential suitors ever since she attended Lady Danbury's ball," Benedict explained.

Anthony raised an eyebrow at him, "I was not aware that you read the column?"

Benedict grinned at him, "There are many things you do not know about me, brother."

Anthony looked at him disapprovingly before refocusing his attention on Colin, "And what about Lord Featherington, was it difficult to earn his permission? If you wish, I can go talk with him."

Colin suddenly paled, his stomach plummeting drastically as he realised something dreadful: "I… bollocks. I-I forgot to talk with him."

"You what?!" both Anthony and Benedict cried.

Colin sat down rather heavily, his hands resting on his face in a gesture of shame. He had publicly declared his intention to become more responsible, yet he had overlooked a crucial aspect of courtship etiquette: seeking permission from the father. He was aware that Lady Featherington had given her approval, a fact that was apparent. However, he had departed from the Featherington residence the previous day feeling elated and giddy, a sentiment that often led him to make missteps.

"Colin, good Lord! How come you have announced that you are courting the girl without her father's consent?!" Anthony exclaimed exasperatedly, looking at Benedict for support.

"I'm sorry brother, but I must agree with Anthony," even though Benedict was aware that Colin was already to be married in the future, Benedict still knew that he needed to do things properly in the eyes of society, "You must go there today!"

"And with haste, I do not know if Lady Featherington has announced it to him yet but Lady Whistledown has posted her column and news travels fast, he will be offended if you do not seek his approval first!" Anthony added, gesturing towards the door, "Go, now!" he ordered sharply.

"Do not worry, I was going to call on Penelope anyways," he told him, nodding to himself for encouragement, "I shall talk to him before calling hours! Now, if you excuse me, brothers," Colin wasted no time, he bolted from his chair and made his way out of the office, leaving behind two visibly worried brothers.

"Do you think our brother has lost his mind?" Anthony asked him listlessly as he massaged his temples in an attempt to alleviate the discomfort of his growing headache.

Benedict clicked his tongue, "Truthfully, I do not think any of us are well in the head, brother."

As he stood before Lord Featherington in the latter's office, Colin was compelled to pity the man. The paranoia had taken hold of him with great force. Colin observed that the Lord would often peer through the closed curtains of his window as if searching for someone at least three times since his arrival, and he was at a loss as to why.

Once the baron had finally achieved a state of repose and resumed his seated position, he regarded him with an inquisitive gaze, accompanied by eyes that evidenced fatigue and a lack of sleep, "Mr Bridgerton, what can I do for you?"

He must've looked visibly confused because when Colin reacted to his question, Lord Featherington frowned, "My lord… you truly do not know?"

"Know? Know what?"

Colin exhaled sharply and closed his eyes to control his anger. It appeared that Lady Featherington had not informed her husband of the courtship. He could have been relieved if it wasn't for the fact that she did not consider it a matter of sufficient importance to share with her husband.

Carefully, he chose his words correctly as he took a deep breath, "Well sir, I am here to ask your permission to court your daughter."

"Which one?" the baron asked urgently and quickly.

The anger was replaced with perplexity, "… Penelope, sir. You witnessed me calling on her yesterday?"

Archibald blinked rapidly, exhaled deeply, and regarded the wall behind Colin with a distant gaze, "Mr Bridgerton, do you love my daughter?"

"I do," Colin replied without hesitation.

Lord Featherington scoffed, "Since when? She has barely been out in society."

Colin sniffed, scowling at the man, "I have loved her before. Truthfully, my lord, your daughter has been in my thoughts ever since I met her. I did not know it was love until recently but I can earnestly assure you that I love her," he stated adamantly.

Archibald looked despondent as he spoke, "What if I told you she has no dowry? Would you still want her?" he enquired in a subdued and feeble voice.

Colin winced. The Featheringtons' wealth was regarded as waning, and this was a consequence of the current Lord's gambling addiction. He was aware of this because Jack had attempted to deceive gentlemen of the ton. Furthermore, he was aware that Lady Featherington was not yet aware of the family's financial difficulties. From observing the beads of sweat forming on Lord Featherington's forehead, it was evident that the man was approaching a state of acute distress.

Aggrieved at the sight of the pitiful creature sitting in front of him, Colin nodded at the man who called himself Lord of this house, "I have no interest in her dowry, I wish to court Penelope and marry her because I love her. I will support us both," he assured him candidly.

And with her Lady Whistledown money, they would surely be more comfortable in life.

Lord Featherington looked down at the floor in a contemplative manner before returning his gaze, "You intend to marry her?"

"Yes."

Nodding slowly, almost in disbelief, he extended his arm towards the other, "Very well, you have my approval."

'As if you could stop me.'

Colin thought as he smiled while shaking the man's sweaty hand. He then stood in a somewhat awkward position, unsure of how to proceed. He decided to take his leave so that he could finally call upon Penelope and continue with the courting. Colin bowed to the man and turned towards the door, leaving him to his own thoughts.

He was conscious of a feeling at the back of his head concerning Lord Featherington, accompanied by a sense of something escaping from his memories. He was hopeful that it was not an important memory that he was forgetting.

He couldn't be afforded to make mistakes this time.

However, he was unaware that Lady Featherington had swiftly concealed herself around a corner, having overheard the entire conversation. She had been concerned previously, but the discovery that the dowries were gone was the last thing she had anticipated. Portia promptly initiated a plan of action, entering a state of self-protection – if her husband had failed this family, it was her responsibility to ensure their safety.

April 13th, 1813

Featherington Home

Calling Hours

Upon his arrival and greeting of Penelope with a new bouquet (he brought one for each lady, including her mother and sisters, and ignored the apparent disapproval on Marina's face when she did not receive one), Colin was overcome with the sense that he had overlooked something that day.

There was an unidentified memory attempting to capture his attention, pertaining to an incident that had occurred on that very day. However, he was unable to discern its significance.

"Colin, are you alright? You seem distracted," Penelope whispered.

The two were situated on the settee positioned furthest from the centre of the drawing-room, where Marina was receiving a plethora of gifts, compliments and some rather questionable poetry from her suitors. They had Portia's eyes on them once in a while, for she was chaperoning the two girls at once.

Nevertheless, Colin was gratified that they had a modicum of privacy, "Forgive me, my mind was somewhere else," he uttered, smiling apologetically, "You were telling me about this new book you've been reading, right?"

Penelope smiled brightly at him as she nodded enthusiastically, "Yes! It is called 'Pride and Prejudice'! It is a delight, honestly. And a woman has written it! I am only on chapter ten because I am reading it slowly on purpose just so I can read longer!" she told him, gesticulating with her hands as she spoke.

He looked at her fondly, "I will read it as well, then we can discuss the contents of it together."

Penelope clasped her hands together shyly, "Oh, that would be wonderful. I only talk about books with Eloise and I cannot imagine what that would be like with the man that I love…" she wondered dreamily.

Dear God above, she was trying to kill him. This time it took all the muscles in his body to hold him back and firmly pin him down on the seat of the settee. He almost leapt on her in front of everyone. How could he not notice how lovely she was before?

He cast a quick glance in the direction of Lady Featherington to ascertain whether she was observing them and when he noticed that she was frowning at Marina in a displeased manner he seized the opportunity. Colin leaned down and kissed his future wife's cheek while reaching for her gloved hands.

"You and I will have much to discuss when we are married, my love," he whispered salaciously in her ear, pleased when he felt her body shiver, "Are you cold, Pen?" he teased her even further by blowing air into her ear.

He was not expecting her to squeak loudly in response.

He rapidly disengaged from her, attempting to maintain composure when he became aware of the fact that the entire room was now observing them. Portia had risen from her seat, bestowing upon her daughter one of her rarely seen expressions of concern.

"A-Apologies!" Penelope addressed them quickly with a hoarse voice, her cheeks aflame, "I thought I had s-seen a spider in my dress!" her voice was stuttering as he watched with great amusement how red her cheeks had become.

Colin maintained his silence, gazing at her with a subtle grin as she returned his gaze with a stern expression and pursed, plump lips. He was overcome with the desire to kiss her once more. However, the presence of observers prevented him from doing so.

"Colin, you mustn't do those things to me! I get so hot and flustered that I cannot control what my body does…" she whispered harshly, her blue eyes looking from his lips to his eyes, "I… I won't be teased!" she asserted less confidently, staring at his lips again as desire took over her expression, "I… won't…"

He watched as her breathing became rapid and even though the bust line her mother forced her dresses to have didn't flatter her beautiful body yet, he still stared at the cleavage of her breasts as they matched with her erratic respiration.

Right.

Colin was going to kill her instead if he kept teasing his innocent wife like this.

He reached for her hand once more, this time grasping it gently and soothingly stroking her knuckle, "Forgive me, Pen. I cannot help it sometimes…" he whispered earnestly, "I will behave, I promise."

As Penelope's complexion returned to its natural pink hue, she gazed into his eyes. Her breathing had calmed down and her demeanour had shifted from despair to a more composed state. Before he could inquire further about the book she had been reading to calm her down, Eloise entered the room and curtsied towards Lady Featherington, quickly turning her attention to them.

Penelope's muscles tensed and she withdrew her hand from his grasp. He appeared momentarily perplexed before discerning that she likely felt apprehensive about Eloise's potential response to their courtship. Gazing at his sister, he furrowed his brow in concern as she approached them with a vacant expression. Before he could utter a greeting, she plopped down beside Penelope, sighing wearily.

Penelope was now situated between the two, and the couple regarded Eloise with anticipation, awaiting with trepidation what she would say.

"Well?" she began, giving her friend a solemn look, "Do you have something to tell me, Pen?"

Colin considered that, for the time being, he would observe how things would unfold between the two of them. This could be a preliminary practice conversation for when Penelope informs Eloise that she is Lady Whistledown.

Penelope looked ashamed, lowering her chin and clasping her hands together while fiddling with her thumbs in a nervous manner, "I… I am sorry Eloise," she took a deep breath before looking at her emotionally, "I was not expecting your brother to ask me in courtship… but I could not deny him, truthfully I…" she hesitated, fearing the reaction her friend would have. It wasn't until she felt Colin's supporting hand on her back that she found the strength to continue, "Ever since I met your brother, I've always liked him. There was always a feeling whenever your brother was around me," she glanced at him, smiling lovingly before returning her attention on her friend, "It was not until two days before my sixteenth birthday I realised that feeling was love."

Colin felt himself welling up, he looked away from them and swiftly dabbed at his eyes with his sleeve, attempting to conceal his tears and hoping it didn't bring any attention to him.

But Eloise noticed it, she saw how much Penelope's words had affected him, "Dear Lord, so it's true…" she whispered, mostly to herself before straightening her back to give her friend a bewildered look, "You truly love my brother? You have? All this time?"

Penelope nodded, "I earnestly have, El."

Eloise nodded, attempting to reconcile with the information she had just learned, "Pen, I am going to ask you something and I want you to answer it earnestly."

"Of course!" Penelope cried, wincing when she became aware that her voice had been excessively loud and had disrupted the recital of a terrible poem by one of Marina's suitors.

Eloise blinked between the redhead and the suitor before continuing, "Have you befriended me just to get closer to my brother?"

This time, Colin chose to intervene, "Eloise, how dare you—"

"I only wish to know!" Eloise protested softly, looking nearly defeated, "I am begging you, Pen, please be honest with me," to emphasise her desperation, Eloise seized her friend's hands and clasped them together, begging her.

Penelope was rendered speechless for a moment, the gravity of the question completely stunning her, "E-Eloise… of course not…How can you even think that? We were in leading strings when we met! We were seven years old! Do you truly think I could be capable of such an evil thing at that age? I love you! You are like a sister to me, you are the only one who can understand me!" she attempted to keep her voice low in consideration of the suitors on the other side of the room but Penelope was unable to refrain from weeping as she mounted her defence, profoundly hurt at the notion that her dearest friend could have believed her to be nothing more than a mere puppet for all of these years.

Colin regarded the two with a melancholy expression, evincing a desire to embrace them. Their friendship has remained a constant throughout his life, even when it was temporarily disrupted following Eloise's discovery of Lady Whistledown. Despite Eloise's assertion that they were no longer friends, he observed instances where his sister's behaviour reflected a continued concern for Penelope. A friendship of this nature could not be irreparably damaged by a single incident. Colin was aware that Eloise needed to be made aware of her friend's secret to reinforce their bond. He considered them to be the most intelligent women in London and was determined to prevent the end of such a beautiful relationship.

Eloise emitted a sniff, her eyes becoming tearful as she regarded Penelope with a look of gratitude, "You truly love me?"

Laughing weakly, Penelope pulled her into a hug, "I do. You are the most important person to me."

Colin cleared his throat, intending to convey a jesting tone, but was surprised when a genuine sense of jealousy took hold of his body, "And what I am, chopped liver?" he wondered loud enough for the two crying ladies to hear.

Eloise glared at him as she disengaged from the embrace, wiping her eyes with her hands as Penelope bit her lip to prevent herself from laughing.

"You are my love, Colin, but you will never be Eloise," she teased him lightly.

"You heard her, brother. You might be courting her but Pen will always choose me over you," Eloise added with a knowing smirk. Colin was aware that she was attempting to lure him into a continuous cycle of teasing, yet he merely rolled his eyes and responded with a smile, amused at her actions.

"I am heartbroken, sister," he told her sarcastically.

The group's attention was drawn to the clapping that commenced on the opposite side of the room. It appeared that the initial suitor had concluded his presentation and was promptly replaced by another.

"Ugh, that reminds me," Eloise began, turning towards the two of them with a displeased face, "Mama made me leave Daphne all alone with this pitiful man… a Lord Berbrooke. I tried staying with her but…"

After hearing that wretched name, Colin heard ringing inside his ears. Oh God. He forgot about him—and now Daphne was alone with the blasted man as they spoke. He needed to stop that, he promised himself to never allow him near his sister and he already ruined that.

He rose from his seat with alacrity, startling the two girls, "Forgive, I just remembered something important!" he apologised, looking at Penelope with remorse, "My love, I shall return to bid you a proper goodbye but at the moment I need to make haste to my house, can you forgive me for leaving you abruptly?"

Penelope was so taken aback by his abrupt departure that she merely nodded in response.

He smiled at her and averted his gaze from Eloise before hastily departing from the drawing room, mentally formulating an apology to Lady Featherington upon his return.

Daphne wanted to cry.

She nearly did once.

If she were compelled to endure a further ten minutes of this man's boisterous exhalations and unpalatable utterances, she would feign a swoon. While he was engrossed in the consumption of a biscuit, she conveyed her distress to her mother with a gaze that bespoke an urgent plea for assistance. However, Violet feigned unawareness, her concern for her daughter's prospects evident.

Although she could pity her. If it wasn't for Anthony, perhaps Daphne would've found someone she enjoyed having a conversation with.

Hyacinth was unable to contain her mirth at the absurdity of Lord Berkbrooke existence, while Francesca observed the distress evident in Daphne's face with concern. She repeatedly sought her mother's attention, silently conveying that she wished for her help, yet Violet remained unmoved. She merely desired for Daphne to have at least one suitor who was not deterred by the Viscount.

It was enough that Lady Whistledown had written it on paper. Violet would not have it.

"Have I told you that I once managed to hunt a deer the size of a stallion? Well, I—"

His discourteous narrative was abruptly over when the door was thrown open. Violet rose from her seat in astonishment, observing as Colin strode inside and directed a hostile glare at the Lord, who in turn returned a scandalized look. Violet had never before witnessed her son display such a profound level of anger.

"Leave. Now."

The words were curt and ominous. Even Hyacinth was unable to maintain the amused behaviour she had previously exhibited.

"I beg your pardon?" Lord Berkbrooke asked, smiling nervously towards Violet, "Viscountess Bridgerton, control your son if you please."

Violet was torn in what to do, she reached for Colin but retracted her arm, "Colin, what on earth—"

"Do not tell my mother what to do, I am telling you to leave. I have matters to discuss with my sister and they are important," Colin bristled, approaching him.

Lord Berbrooke promptly rose to his feet, creating some distance between the two men as he circled around the room towards the door, "I do not understand! I am calling on your sister, sir! We are being chaperoned and I have done nothing wrong!" Berbrooke stated matter-of-factly, eyeing Colin up and down in disgust.

Daphne was staring at the situation in awe, she stood as well, reaching for Colin's arm to pull his attention onto her, "Brother, what is the matter? Is something wrong?" she looked at him worriedly, knowing that his behaviour was atypical for him.

His expression softened as he looked down at her, "All is well, Daph, I…" he looked back at Berbrooke, scowling again, "I apologise for interrupting calling hours, but since it is almost over anyways, I thought I could end yours earlier," he bowed at the man, "I have nothing against you, forgive me if my emotions controlled me for a moment—I am merely angry and wish to discuss it with my sister."

It was best if he let Lady Whistledown handle Lord Berbrooke's downfall because then he would disappear from London and never return.

The man in question looked confused now, regarding Colin suspiciously, "So your anger is not towards me?"

"Of course not," Colin forced a smile, "Why? Have you done something to anger me, my Lord? We have never been acquainted, how can you have affected me so?"

Violet chose the moment to interject herself in the conversation, "Ah, Lord Berkbrooke! My children sometimes fight with each other and things get out of hand! My son Colin is young and lost his temper but he knows better," Violet's tight smile made Colin cringe, he surely was going to hear an earful from his mother, "But he is right. Calling hours are over, it is best if you leave so they can sort their grievances out. I can assure you that next time—"

"Mother, please. I cannot wait any longer, Daphne has gone too far this time and I need her to apologise!" he whined, playing the role of 'young son'.

"Wha—" Daphne began, but she was silenced when Colin seized her hand and squeezed it, indicating her to shut up.

It was evident that Berbrooke was not entirely convinced by Colin's assertion. He appeared to harbour suspicions that Colin was being untruthful. Nevertheless, he bowed towards the ladies, "Very well then, I shall return another day," he had the opportunity to send Daphne what he believed to be an agreeable smile, which, in fact, was so revolting that Colin felt his sister's physical revulsion. He then departed the room without uttering another word.

Colin's shoulder sagged with relief, the easy part was over. However, he was aware that the most challenging part was yet to come.

"Colin Christopher Bridgerton! What in God's name was that?!" Violet cried at once, nearing her son with an incensed expression, "Not only you have humiliated our family by acting so—so uncivilised, but you nearly destroyed Daphne's prospects with Lord Berbrooke!"

Colin faced her and yelled desperately, "That is exactly what I wanted to do Mother!" he calmed down when she flinched at him, "He is not right for Daph! I… I have heard things about him and I do not want him near her ever again!"

His mother and sisters regarded him with astonishment, while Violet, who appeared less enraged and more preoccupied, grasped her son's arm and drew him closer.

"What things have you heard, Colin?" she whispered, aware that Hyacinth and Francesca were still in the room and nearby.

"I cannot tell you. Not yet," his mother sighed at his response and began to walk away from him, he rushed his next words, "But you must trust me! Berbrooke is not right for Daphne, I assure you, Mother, he is not a good character."

Daphne scoffed with great relief, "I believe him, mother."

"Of course you do!" Violet laughed mirthlessly, "You do not like him!"

Daphne looked offended, "Can you blame me, mama? Even you were disgusted in his presence!"

"I was not!" Violet opposed weakly.

"I just think he was too loud when eating biscuits," Hyacinth piped in, swinging her legs while seated.

Francesca rolled her eyes at her, "It does not matter! If Colin says he's not good, I believe him, mama," she gave her mother a pleading look, "I saw how unhappy Daphne was in his presence, besides…" she appeared disgusted now, "He is… so old. It is a bit creepy, don't you agree, mama?"

Violet was perceptive enough to take in her daughter's words. She exhaled and observed Colin once more, noting his pensive and stressed expression, "Weren't you calling on Penelope?" she asked before gasping in alarm, realising what her son might have done, "Do not tell me that you left her in the middle of calling hours simply because Eloise told you about Lord Berbrooke being here!"

"That is exactly what I did, and you know what mother? Penelope was understanding. I am obviously returning to her, now that he is gone, but when I come back we will talk about this," he told her remorsefully, "Forgive me, Mother," he added quickly, softly.

He felt the weight of his actions heavy on his shoulders as his mother regarded him with the face of a mother who no longer recognized her son. It was a painful sight to behold, and he was overwhelmed with guilt for causing her such disappointment. However, he was confident that she would eventually come to appreciate his efforts. With Simon's involvement, the pieces would soon fall into place, and her outlook would undoubtedly shift for the better.

Things always got worse before better.

"Go, Colin. Go back to Penelope, we'll be alright," Daphne suddenly told him, smiling fondly at him, "…and thank you," she added with a whisper, away from her mother's ears.

Colin nodded thankfully at her and promptly exited the room, cognizant that remaining could potentially exacerbate the situation. He already knew that his mother would tell Anthony about what had transpired and if he had been nervous under Violet's anger, Colin knew that he needed to fear Anthony's.

Notes:

as always, leave a comment 3 they always motivate me to continue!!

(kudos are awesome, too!)

Chapter 5: isolation

Summary:

in which colin nearly throws hands with his eldest brother

Notes:

Bit of a time skip in this chapter! I did it because when Portia finds out Marina is pregnant, she says "You've been here for over a month" and the show begins on April 6th!

Also, I want to say it right here: Anthony is not a villain in this story. I'm just writing him as the way he acted in season 1. You also have to understand that he doesn't know Colin is from the future. I love Anthony, okay? Don't come at me with pitchforks!! This story has a HAPPY ENDING. No matter the angst you'll read.

I tried finishing episode 1 in this chapter but y'all, I seriously could not. The next chapter will begin with the Vauxhall Ball and then episode 2. Ooof!! That's when things start to get interesting. I swear.

Also, I am once again spoiling you guys with a 10k chapter. Yeesh.

Chapter Text

Upon returning to Featherington House, Colin proceeded with haste up the staircase, nearly losing his footing on the final steps that led him into the corridor where he had previously been. Before entering the room once more, he paused and took a moment to compose himself, wiping away the sweat from his brow and ensuring his appearance was presentable.

He entered the sitting room calmly. As anticipated, Lady Featherington acknowledged his presence with a discerning gaze. He responded with a nod, offering a brief bow before proceeding to Penelope and Eloise. Both women had shifted closer to Marina and her suitors, observing the unfolding scene of each gentleman striving to gain a woman's approval through increasingly elaborate displays.

Colin smiled affectionately when his wife was so engrossed with the puppy on her lap that she was unaware of his presence. It was not until Eloise turned to give Penelope a look that his sister became aware of his return.

"Colin!" she whispered harshly, still confused as to why he had left too suddenly.

He hushed her, gesturing towards the gentleman on his knees in front of Marina, "Do not interrupt," he mouthed at her with a playful smirk.

Penelope beamed at him, although he noticed her smile faltering, "I everything well?" she whispered.

He nodded, sitting beside her, "All is well," he promised half-heartedly before petting the dog's head, smiling when the pup started licking his fingers.

"—and so, by Heaven, your love may burn from the depths of my soul."

Upon hearing the words from the gentleman wooing Ms Thompson, Eloise turned to give her friend another pained expression, which Penelope found so amusing that she hid her face behind the dog to avoid being seen laughing. Colin merely smiled at the exchange, gratified to observe the harmonious interaction. It was invigorating to witness their friendship, although they had resolved their differences and Eloise consistently corresponded with Penelope during her sojourn in Kilmartin, they had been separated for a long time before making amends. Colin was determined to prioritise his relationship with Penelope, yet he was acutely aware that salvaging their friendship was of equal importance.

"'Tis thee I shall earn."

When the gentleman did not continue, Portia promptly commenced applause, thereby indicating to the room that the sonnet had reached its conclusion. He also applauded, albeit more slowly and awkwardly. He recalled the gentleman, Lord Higgins, who had been infatuated with Ms Thompson at Lady Danbury's Ball. It was regrettable that he had not managed to woo her to the point of her choosing him instead – but perhaps that had been a beneficial outcome.

"Wonderful, wonderful," Lady Featherington began gracefully as she gestured the suitors to rise to their feet, "Thank you for your calls. Do not forget to bid Prudence, Philippa and Penelope farewell as you go," she continued, ever the gracious host, "However, gentlemen, Mr Bridgerton is already courting my Penelope, so bid your goodbyes faster to her," she added with a proud tone.

Penelope was shocked, and Colin blinked at her—she definitely did not say that last time. Not even a single gentleman paid attention to what she was saying; they were more interested in discussing Ms Thompson among themselves as they left the room.

Leaning towards Penelope, he couldn't help sighing lovingly at the fragrance of her rose-scented perfume, "A most wretched sonnet, indeed."

"Lord Byron he is not," she quipped at him, giggling when he snorted.

He regarded her momentarily, taking in her bright blue eyes and the freckles across her cheeks. His heartbeat slowed, noting how young Penelope appeared at that moment. He loved her immensely. However, the distinction between the girl he treated as a friend and the woman he wed became increasingly apparent the longer he spent in her presence. Nevertheless, nothing could dissuade him from his feelings. He was acutely aware that he needed to proceed with care with this version of his wife.

"Colin, where did you go again?" Penelope whispered gently, a sad smile appearing on her pretty lips.

He blinked quickly, disoriented as he managed to say an excuse, "My apologies, Pen. I—"

"Mr Bridgerton! Calling hours are officially over, you may go and take Ms Bridgerton as well," Portia interrupted, approaching them with a garish smile, "Although I must confess, I was quite shocked when you left so suddenly. I was afraid that my Penelope had done something so wrong that you had run away from her!" her clipped, teasing tone hid in faux concern.

"Mama!" Penelope attempted, bowing her head quickly in shame when Portia gave her a reproachful look.

Colin rose to his feet, angry that she could think so lowly of him, "I would never do that," he began with a stern tone, giving her a pointed look and stopping her from continuing with her words, "Allow me to explain myself. I had to return to my home with haste because I had forgotten a book that Pen—Ms Featherington had lent me. When I could not find it, I returned right away. I merely wish to retrieve it because we were discussing its contents and I wanted to read it with her. As I said before, I love your daughter and I intend to continue my courtship with her."

Portia displayed a knowing smirk, having already discerned his true intentions from overhearing the conversation he had with her husband. However, hearing him confirm that he was indeed pursuing a courtship was a source of reassurance, one that Portia could rely on.

Penelope stood as well, still carrying the puppy, "Mama, 'tis is true. It was I that insisted on Co—Mr Bridgerton to go retrieve it. Please do not criticise him for it, please mama," she pleaded.

Colin gazed at her wistfully as he tried to hide his surprise about how quick she was to support his lie. He was aware that he would have to divulge the truth to her very soon, but he was gratified that Penelope had placed such trust in him that she was prepared to stand by his side, even in the absence of full knowledge of the facts.

Eloise, whose facial expression was not visible since Portia was facing away from her, observed the two with a look of astonishment. She did not speak, but she would inquire of Colin at a later point why he elected to lie to Lady Featherington. More significantly, Penelope unquestioningly participated in the deception. If she had harboured any doubt about the strength of their bond, she could now rest assured. She had just observed a profound display of devotion, free from any hesitation. Eloise gasped softly as if a sudden realization had overwhelmed her. Throughout this time, Penelope had genuinely been in love with her brother.

"Eloise, are you alright?" Penelope enquired with concern in response to the gasp she had just heard.

Eloise cursed inwardly, feeling self-conscious under the scrutiny of the room, "Yes! I am well!" she replied, her voice betraying a hint of embarrassment, "I merely remembered something important, please, pretend I am not here," she then curtsied towards Lady Featherington before offering her brother a forced smile, "Brother, I shall await you by the entrance," finally, she looked at Penelope with a small smile, "Good day, Pen."

"Good day, El," Penelope bid her, smiling brightly as she reached for one of the dog's paws to wave at her, "Say goodbye!" she pitched her voice higher as if it was the dog that was talking.

Eloise laughed and waved at the dog, giving it a brief but affectionate pat on the head before proceeding to exit the room.

Portia pursed her lips in sheer embarrassment at her daughter's childish behaviour in front of her suitor. Even Prudence and Philippa could not help but smile at each other mockingly. However, to the Baroness's surprise, Colin did not appear perturbed by the action; instead, he seemed rather besotted.

How… odd.

"It is quite a shame that your courtship was cut so short today, Mr Bridgerton. Perhaps Lady Featherington will be so kind as to extend your welcome for a little longer?" Marina suddenly chimed, having been quiet this whole time while observing the room.

Penelope beamed at her before looking hopefully to her mother, "Oh mama, please?"

Colin grimaced, casting a brief, apprehensive glance in Marina's direction. She continued to regard him with a gaze that seemed to convey hope and appeal. Why? Why?! Did she genuinely believe that he was still an option for her? They have barely interacted so far! Why does she still have her eyes set on him?!

Portia exhaled impatiently and placed her hands on her hips, "Absolutely not. Calling hours are over. Mr Bridgerton must go!" she gave Colin a pointed look, requesting his assistance.

Despite his desire to remain, Colin was compelled to adhere to the dictates of societal conduct. While rescuing Daphne was a worthwhile endeavour, witnessing Penelope's disappointment caused him a pang of remorse. Nevertheless, he remained true to his principles.

"Lady Featherington is right, forgive me," he looked at Penelope, addressing her only now, "I shall return tomorrow, I promise," he assured gently, reaching for the gloved hand and kissing it.

Even though she was disappointed, Penelope nodded, "Alright… until tomorrow, then…" she breathed, hugging the puppy closer when she retrieved her hand from him.

Colin smiled and bade the ladies farewell with a bow, departing the room (not without giving the puppy a swift pat) with a sense of guilt but pride. He had successfully stopped Lord Berbrooke and wooed Penelope, and although one interaction cost him half of the other, he would have more opportunities to court her.

And make no mistake, he was going to romance Ms Featherington.

Daphne was starting to ponder if her choice in favouritism when it came to brothers, had been wrong.

Colin had rescued her from an outlandish man earlier that day, and Anthony—her supposed favourite—was now engaged in horseback riding alongside her and displaying a hostile response towards her rescuer.

"I cannot believe he embarrassed our family name like that!" he seethed in quiet anger, aware that he could not shout since they were out and in the eyes of the ton.

Daphne patted her horse's mane gently, scoffing, "He did nothing wrong in my eyes."

Anthony exhaled noisily, glaring at her, "I am not jesting, sister. What he did was—"

"Truly the best thing a brother could have done for me," she finished for him, sending him a hurt expression, "Honestly, Ant, Lord Berbrooke was obviously waiting for you to leave so he could call on me without your presence! Have you thought about that?" she asked him, calming down her anger to plead with rational side.

Anthony reflected on her words. Upon his return from the club, he was unprepared for the state of distress in which he found his mother. Upon hearing her account of Colin's actions, Anthony was initially sceptical about the veracity of her statements. Colin had been calling on Penelope Featherington that morning, it was implausible that he had the time to interrupt Lord Berbrooke's sudden calling on Daphne and expel the man from their house with a preposterous excuse. He initially believed his mother was jesting, but when Hyacinth excitedly told him about how Colin "swooped in and saved Daphne from the horrid man" he was incensed. He was outraged.

To circumvent any potential casualties when Colin was to return from the Featherington House, Daphne proposed a horseback riding excursion in Hyde Park, which she believed would provide Anthony with an opportunity to cool his mind before facing Colin. Anthony begrudgingly concurred.

As he reflected further on Daphne's statement, he was compelled to question why Lord Berbrooke had chosen to summon his sister without his presence. He had not engaged in any wrongdoing, as Lady Bridgerton and his sisters had been present to chaperone them. Nevertheless, Anthony could not help but harbour suspicions about the man's motives, regardless of their legitimacy.

"Lord Berbrooke is harmless," he insisted stubbornly, "But there will be others."

As a matter of coincidence, Lord Jameson was passing by at that moment, and the two men exchanged greetings as Daphne continued speaking.

"Lady Whistledown has all but declared me ineligible," she emphasized it by giving him an apprehensive look, "—worthy of affection of a detestable simpleton and no one else."

Anthony tried to suppress an amused smirk at his sister's choice of words.

"Tell me, what others should ever want such damaged goods now?" she continued, expressing her worry, "I was supposed to be this season's Diamond and now no gentleman wants to be near me."

Her dejected tone pained his heart, "Daph… you speak as if Lady Whistledown were to be held in higher regard than Her Majesty the Queen herself!" he told her reassuringly, "You give far too much credit to some anonymous scribbler. These musings, they're not true."

Daphne grew impatient at his patronising words, "Only they are true, brother! And they are true because of you!" how can he not see past his actions? How could Anthony be so blind to his over-protectiveness? "You have managed to scare away every worthy suitor away—Whistledown has merely reported it."

"I am looking out for you. I am protecting you," Anthony insisted with an assured tone, trying to convince her that he knew what was best for her.

"No, Anthony. Colin is!" she suddenly outbursted emotionally, her cheeks growing red from suppressing her anger, "He actually protected me today while you were out, in your club!"

Anthony looked around, relieved that no one had spared a look their way, "Daphne, it is my duty to protect you, not Colin's!"

"What of my duty?!" she asserted defiantly, holding the same frustrated tone. This time, her voice did attract some attention from bystanders. Noticing them, Daphne assumed a posture that was more upright and gathered her emotions to avoid shame.

Anthony was taken aback, attempting to grasp the meaning of Daphne's words. Had he fallen short of her expectations? Had he truly been unduly demanding?

"You have no idea what it is to be a woman," Daphne continued, emotionally drained, "what it might feel like to have one's entire life reduced to a single moment," she smiled, her eyes betraying a hint of sadness as tears formed at the edges, "This is all I have been raised for. This… is all I am. I have no other value. If I'm unable to find a husband, I shall be worthless."

Unable to hear his sister talk about herself in such a self-deprecating way any longer, Anthony sought to comfort her, "Daphne, you're a Bridgerton."

She scoffed, "It would be easier if I were not."

Anthony was struck by her response. He remained where he was, reflecting on her words and their growing impact on him, as his sister suddenly broke away from him and began to gallop ahead, leaving him without uttering another word.

It was evident that Colin's actions had pleased Daphne immensely, yet Anthony was perplexed as to why. Despite professing that she would be worthless if she did not find a husband, Daphne seemed to view Lord Berbrooke as anything but a potential husband. Was she seeking a love match? Was that why she spoke about him so disparagingly? In truth, Anthony did not believe Lord Berbrooke was a suitable match for his sister. However, from the perspective of his role as Viscount Bridgerton, the man was a suitable candidate.

He sighed deeply, feeling a headache forming inside his head.

Perhaps Colin was holding information about Lord Berkbrooke that he did not wish to divulge. Anthony has found his brother's recent conduct perplexing. He feels the need to have a serious conversation with him to prevent his brother from taking further actions that could be deemed more extreme and shameful for their family.

Dearest gentle readers,

Ambitious mamas rejoice for the new Duke of Hastings continues to grace our fair city with his presence.

And, oh, what an impressive presence it is!

It should be noted that the duke has been overheard announcing to mamas everywhere that he has no plans of ever marrying.

This author wonders which brazen matchmaker shall rise to such a challenge, for this competition is well underway.

If we are to consider a match made miraculously, we might look to the courtship between Mister Colin Bridgerton and Miss Penelope Featherington as an example. Despite the apparent incompatibility of their backgrounds and personalities, the pair seems to be deeply in love.

Much cannot be said about Miss Louise Hurst, whose suitor decisively ended the courtship by pursuing her sister instead! My, my, dear readers. Hold on to your fans and leashes, for when a dog's in heat it will go as far as sniffing in another one's garden.

In other news, a most peculiar suitor for Miss Daphne Bridgerton has emerged. Although his presence at the Bridgerton House was shortened, has Lord Berbrooke caught the eye of the unpolished Diamond of the season? We shall see, dear reader.

Yours truly,

Lady Whistledown

May 9th, 1813

It has been over a month since Colin travelled back in time to where he was unmarried and fatherless. During this past month, he has experienced a harsh reality every time he wakes up in his bachelor bed. Each night, he would pray to God to end this nightmare. When he still woke up in 1813, he was a resolved man, still going along with his voracious plan.

Firstly, his courtship with Penelope was progressing exceedingly well. Over the past month, he had bestowed upon her a plethora of gifts, including flowers, books, quills, new dresses, and ribbons of her choosing. Additionally, he would frequently engage in promenades with her, even though they were always accompanied by chaperones. This is when he began to miss Rae. At least she could be "persuaded" to temporarily leave them alone.

He was uncertain as to the precise date on which the lady's maid would join the Featherington household. She had assumed the role of housekeeper following the departure of Mrs Varley when she followed Portia Featherington to her new residence after they moved in with the new Lord Featherington. He held a high regard for Rae and knew that she showed a genuine concern for the wellbeing of their family.

Additionally, he commenced following her into the night on the appointed days for Lady Whistledown to publish her column. He ascertained her schedule and was meticulous in avoiding detection by her. Colin was aware that he would rest until he was certain that Penelope was secure during her nocturnal activities. When he does tell her, it will be easier for him to just join her inside the carriage. Nothing had happened to her yet and with his knowledge of the past, he was confident nothing would—but his heart would always painfully tug at the thought of her being alone at night.

Colin also took pride in his apparent resilience in resisting his urges. He conducted himself as a perfect gentleman in Penelope's presence, refraining from any actions that might be perceived as inappropriate outside of marriage. He occasionally kissed her knuckles or held her too close while they danced, and on rare occasions, he was able to steal a kiss from her when they were alone. Penelope appeared to enjoy these kisses as much as he did. Despite her enthusiasm about exploring the sexual side of their relationship, Colin remained strong.

He lost count of the many times he had stroked himself to sleep, thinking about the love-making he had with his wife before being sent back to the past. Surprisingly, even in the past, he was still able to retain the memories of those moments—which was a relief. They provided him with a sense of purpose, as their intactness was what sustained Colin's motivation to continue striving to reach the point where his life was before. While self-pleasure was less satisfying than being inside his wife's tight, wet quim, it would have to suffice for the time being; he had little choice but to spill himself on his hands rather than inside Penelope.

He found handling Lord Berbrooke more difficult, though. The man was like a cockroach, always coming back even after being stepped on. And Anthony did not help.

He had given him an earful when he returned from his horseback ride with Daphne. Colin had tried so hard to appeal to him a month ago.

"Colin what you did was untoward! You had no right to expel him out of the house, you are not the Viscount, I am!" Anthony yelled, running out of patience as he fixed his disapproving eyes on his brother.

"You were not here, brother! Daphne despises the man, and you know he's not right for her!" Colin exclaimed, leaning towards him from his seat, "Please Anthony, do not allow him near our sister again!" he pleaded, his voice urgent and less angry.

Anthony sighed, closing his eyes and massaging his forehead in an attempt to relieve his headache, "Colin, without any reason to have against the man, I cannot simply tell him to stay away—"

"But you can!" Colin interjected with an incredulous expression, "You are Lord fucking Bridgerton—"

"—watch your mouth!"

"—and only YOU can stop him from calling on Daph again! You said it yourself!" Colin continued emotionally, "I am begging you, Anthony!"

His brother regarded him pensively, "Do you know something about Lord Berbrooke that I don't?"

Colin nodded, "Yes. But without any evidence, I'm afraid that telling you would be worthless."

Anthony leaned as well, lowering his voice, "Tell. Me."

Sighing, Colin obeyed hesitantly, "He… he has fathered a son from a maid."

Shocked at the sudden gossip, Anthony's eyes widened, "Truly?!" he hissed, regret filling his face, "How can you be sure?"

Shaking his head, Colin continued, "I do not possess any evidence but he sent the maid away, along with their son, and she is penniless. He refused to acknowledge the child as his."

Anthony pursed his lips tightly, resting his back against his chair as if he had been slapped, "I… I was planning on investigating him. If rumours of this kind come up, I will deny him access to our house."

Colin gaped at him, perturbed by his words, "What do you mean? Of course you won't find out any word about it! He and his mother have kept it well hidden! They went as far as silencing their servants by sacking some of them!"

"And, pray tell, how on earth did you discover such a tale?!" Anthony inquired briskly, "Have you been conversing with the Berbrooke's maids? Did you sneak inside their house and hear it yourself? Or perhaps you came up with this lie because Daphne told you to?"

"Do you smell the shit that comes out of your mouth before you speak, Anthony? Or is it scentless to your enormous, pompous nose?!"

After nearly being thrown out of his study, Colin refused to speak with Anthony after that conversation. His brother didn't attempt to make amends as well. Daphne had joined Colin in giving the Viscount the silent treatment, a development that Colin found particularly unfortunate. He never wanted his family to be at each other's heads like this.

While one aspect of the situation was progressing favourably, he was now required to address new issues that had not previously arisen. His ability to maintain a positive outlook was contingent upon his confidence in the efficacy of his plan to align Simon and Daphne in a way that would prove advantageous.

He was going to get rid of Lord Berbrooke—with Penelope's help. Given that the two have become closer over the past month as a result of their courtship, Colin was aware that it was time to inform her of his knowledge of her identity as Lady Whistledown. The sooner he did so, the sooner he could have her reveal this information to Eloise and thereby expose Lord Berbrooke.

The only positive outcome of this situation is that Daphne has come to him more for advice and consolation. Every time Lord Berbrooke successfully called on her thanks to Anthony's permissive words, Daphne would visibly deteriorate. The radiance that had previously adorned her eyes at the Queen's designation of her as the Diamond of the season had now dissipated, replaced by a desolate pallor.

Even her mother was aware of the profound distress her daughter was experiencing internally.

From being the centre of the ton's attention and being praised by Lady Whistledown to being avoided by her previous suitors, all in a matter of weeks. All because of Anthony's over-protectiveness.

Colin empathized with his sister, offering her a comforting embrace as she wept. Seeking refuge within his bedchambers had become an occasional pattern between the two this past month, and Colin was uncertain about his ability to bear witnessing Daphne's misery any longer—he must set her up with Simon promptly.

He had conveyed to Benedict about his plan—his sole ally in the house. The only one that knew about his predicament. Benedict was displeased that Anthony did not believe Colin; however, he was unable to express his frustration without inadvertently confusing Anthony, as Anthony had not done anything wrong against him. Colin had to implore him not to say a word about the matter and to continue his daily routine. He reassured Benedict that he would assist Daphne and was relieved when Benedict elected to trust him instead of harbouring doubts.

This proved to Colin that his brother was genuinely on his side amidst this madness.

And there was, of course, the painful tug in his heart whenever he missed his son. He barely had time with Thomas. Whatever cursed entity that had kidnapped him to the past was, it stole the time he could have had with his son. He contemplated the possibility of life continuing without him. He considered the scenario in which his wife, Penelope, awoke to discover that he had vanished while she slept. The notion of his family continuing their lives without him was unbearable. He imagined that Anthony would assume responsibility for Thomas' upbringing and that his family would provide for them. He could accept that.

However, he was unable to reconcile the idea of Penelope remarrying.

Setting aside the recent publication by Lady Whistledown, Colin closed his eyes and attempted to control his growing, erratic breathing.

Reflection would be unproductive. It would merely exacerbate his already precarious mental state, which was already on the brink of derangement each day he spent in the past. He was grateful for his previous experiences of isolation during his travels, as many men had gone mad after spending extended periods in ships surrounded by vast, endless water. The same environment, repeated ad nauseam.

That's where Colin's mind was at the moment. In a hindered ship in the middle of the grand ocean.

He decided to focus on the present.

Two nights ago, his mother, accompanied by Daphne and Anthony, attended a performance at the opera. It was there that an alliance was formed between his mother and Lady Danbury with the intention of matching Simon and Daphne. At the very least, he could rely on their assistance in this endeavour, albeit unbeknownst to them.

Tonight, the Duke of Hastings would be dining with them.

He needed to accost the duke quickly, without any prying eyes, and also begin his plan of saving Lord Crane from his demise so he could return to Marina. Tonight he would ask for help, an excuse already prepared on his tongue.

Colin could not fail tonight. Surely, the presence of Penelope at the dinner would allow him to keep his mind afloat a little longer.

Penelope was astonished to receive an extended invitation from Lady Bridgerton to dine with her family and the Duke of Hastings that evening. She was so delighted that she was at a loss as to which dress to wear at the dinner.

Her mother attempted to offer her input, but Penelope asserted that she would only select one of the new dresses that Colin had purchased for her. Her mother responded with praise for her decision, which was somewhat unexpected.

"Well done dear, choosing one of those will please Mr Bridgerton! You may choose whatever dress you would like!" Portia expressed her admiration by patting her cheek in an appraising manner.

Penelope felt elated for receiving positive attention from her mother, "I shall choose accordingly to match with the pendant he gifted me on my birthday!" she proceeded to traverse her room and approach her dressing table, where she retrieved the velvet box containing her favourite jewel.

"Wonderful idea, Penelope! While it is a shame that it's only an emerald, it's the thought that counts! He will be very pleased, indeed!" Portia gushed, turning towards the door, "I shall fetch your sister's lady maids as well, you must look perfect for the dinner! And oh—!" she halted, turning towards her daughter again.

Penelope, who had been frowning tiredly in response to her mother's last offhand remark about her treasured pendant, closed her eyes and turned to face her mother's anticipated words with a polite smile.

"You must speak of your sisters to the Duke! You must behave accordingly in front of him! You might not be available but he might note how you act during the dinner. Think of your sisters, Penelope!" Portia softly said, smiling sweetly at her.

'As if I will embarrass myself in front of the duke.' Penelope thought.

"Of course, mama," she said instead, obedient as ever.

"Excellent! I shall call your sister's ladymaids and leave you to them, then!"

When her mother was finally gone, Penelope breathed with relief, her shoulders relaxing from their tense posture. She opened the velvet box and her expression shifted from one of weariness to one of fondness. The emerald pendant within was exquisite. Its intrinsic value was irrelevant to her; after all, diamonds were not the only gems that could sparkle.

She gasped, suddenly remembering one of the dresses that Colin bought for her.

"Winnie, I know what dress I wish to wear for this evening," she informed her lady's maid, who was proceeding through the room, accompanied by the other maids.

"Excellent, miss!" Winnie smiled before opening her wardrobe. When she looked at Penelope expectantly, the girl indicated the dress she wanted with bright eyes. Upon Winnie's removal of the dress, Penelope was satisfied with her choice.

Colin crossed Grosvenor Square with quick pacings, excited to go retrieve Penelope for the dinner party. Simon hasn't arrived yet but since Penelope is a close friend of the family and the woman he was courting, her early presence was warmly welcomed.

He saw her yesterday during calling hours but it still excited him whenever her face lit up at the sight of him—Colin hoped his expression conveyed as much enthusiasm to her whenever they met.

He knocked the the Featherington House's door and waited before Briarly greeted him and guided him inside, to the entrance hall. The butler then ascended the stairs to inform his Lady of his arrival. He was asked to wait and so he did, looking at the staircase hopefully as any second now, his future wife would be descending it.

Colin smiled sadly and surveyed the entrance hall, noting the significant alterations the house had undergone under his and Penelope's influence. The bold green and yellow palettes had been supplanted by a more subdued palette of baby blue and lilac, which complemented the pale yellow tiles of the floor, a choice that Penelope had ultimately decided to maintain. Upon closer examination, it became evident that the house had undergone a notable transformation just a few months after having new owners.

The Featheringtons were nouveau riche so they did not hold much in ancestral portraiture, but after moving in with Thomas as a married couple, the manor took a complete transformation—this is where they would build their legacy.

"Mr Bridgerton, Penelope is coming down now," Portia suddenly called, descending the stairs with a wide grin, "Hopefully we did not make you wait too long."

He smiled politely at her, pretending to be arranging his cravat, "Not at all, Lady Featherington."

And then she saw her, descending the stairs with a nervous smile as she held on to the rails for support. Colin beamed as he watched her get closer to him, deciding to meet her halfway, at the last step. She looked stunning.

He was delighted to observe her attired in one of the new dresses he had bought for her, a garment that was particularly well-suited to her figure. The gown was crafted from a rich emerald green fabric that draped beautifully, creating a flattering silhouette with a fitted bodice that accentuated the waist and flowed into a gracefully flared skirt that swept the floor. Delicate lace detailing adorned the neckline and sleeves, adding a touch of charm. Despite her overall beauty, his eyes were drawn to her necklace and he smiled fondly at the familiar pendant she was pairing with the dress.

"Pen…" he breathed, forgetting that Lady Featherington was present, "You look absolutely enchanting."

She blushed under his compliment but accepted it with a demure smile, "Thank you, Colin. You look handsome as well."

He gently grabbed her gloved hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it chastely, "I could not compare to your beauty, my love."

Portia's eyes widened at the amorous display in front of her, feeling herself blush at the sheer intensity he was displaying, she cleared her throat, hoping to dissolve it quickly, "Mr Bridgerton, please take care of my Penelope this evening," she told him quickly, keeping a hopeful smile before giving her daughter a pointed look, "Behave."

Colin nearly rolled his eyes before offering his arm to Penelope, which she took hastily, "I will return her before eleven strikes the clock, do not worry."

Portia nodded, satisfied, "Very well, send my regards to your mother, Mr Bridgerton."

Walking past the door, Colin turned to give her a polite smile, "I shall."

Both smiles vanished quickly when their eyes were not on each other's faces. It was a skilful game to play, Colin had to admit.

After Violet enthused all over Penelope's dress and complimented her to the point of her face resembling a tomato, she finally settled down on one of the settees in the Bridgerton drawing room, sitting between Colin and Eloise again. Her friend was also pleasantly surprised at her selection of attire, noting that the colour complemented her complexion and that her loose tresses framed her face in a more flattering manner.

Everyone was surprised at Eloise's words, even she was sheepish about it.

As the remainder of his family proceeded to the drawing room to await the arrival of the other guest, Colin observed Penelope's effortless handling of his family.

With Eloise, the situation was straightforward, as the two were already close friends. When Daphne joined them, the two engaged in a discussion that commenced with his sister complimenting Penelope's attire and hairstyle. As the conversation progressed and a sense of familiarity emerged, he observed a notable shift in Daphne's demeanour towards his future wife, indicating a growing sense of comfort and ease.

With Francesca, his quieter sister, Penelope simply asked her about her piano lessons and that one day she would love to hear her play. Francesca was quickly enthusiastic when she began talking about her passion and Colin smiled fondly as he watched Penelope patiently hear Francesca talk her heart out about a new piece she was struggling with but determined to finish.

Hyacinth and Gregory had already formed a strong attachment to Penelope. They were on the verge of interrupting Francesca to ask if Penelope wanted to play chess with them. And as Penelope expressed her lack of expertise in the game, Gregory then volunteered to teach her and the gesture was met with evident delight by Penelope, suggesting a genuine interest in the prospect of learning. Her enthusiasm evoked a blush from Gregory, prompting Colin to wonder if his little brother was beginning to form a crush.

Benedict had also greeted her, but he remained in the background, observing his siblings as they engaged the guest in conversation with Violet seated at his side. He would occasionally direct his gaze towards Colin and observe the latter's expression, noting the evident infatuation. Benedict was still unable to comprehend the extent of Colin's transformation over the past month. He questioned how Anthony could have been so unaware of the sudden shift in Colin's personality. He occasionally found himself nostalgic for the former Colin, feeling a sense of concern for his well-being. What had become of the Colin who retired for the night and was subsequently overtaken by his elder self?

Were both Colins co-existing in the same body now?

Benedict did not want to think about it—this man was not an impostor. He was his brother and he felt it in his heart. And the more he thought about it, the more his head hurt. Truthfully he was frightened that the same thing could happen to him.

Upon Anthony's arrival, he greeted Penelope with a cordial smile. He bowed to her in a manner befitting a gentleman, and she curtsied in return, expressing her gratitude for his hospitality and reiterating her thanks to Lady Bridgerton.

The duke was situated behind him, prompting the entire room to rise from their seats in greeting. His demeanour exuded an air of authority, and his neutral expression, accompanied by a polite smile, imbued the atmosphere within the drawing room with a distinct shift. Colin was struck by the poise with which Simon conducted himself, even after three years of the familiarity of being Simon's brother-in-law, Colin still felt a sense of intimidation in his presence.

"Hastings!" Anthony began, and Colin noticed how Simon grimaced at the name he was addressed with, "You have been acquainted with most of my family, but allow me to introduce you to my youngest siblings," the viscount smiled proudly as he gestured towards them, "My sisters, Eloise, Francesca, and Hyacinth, who are not out yet and my youngest brother, Gregory."

The three girls curtsied towards him, and Gregory offered an anxious smile, bowing his head. Simon regarded them with a hint of amusement and bowed in return, a genuine smile crossing his lips before he turned towards Penelope.

"Ah, and now allow me to introduce you to Miss Penelope Featherington, who lives across the square. She is currently being courted by my brother Colin and she will be joining us as a guest as well," Anthony added, still smiling cordially towards her, "She has been a close acquaintance of our family for ten years now." he added.

Simon bowed to her, "It is a pleasure, Miss Featherington."

"It is an honour to meet you, Your Grace," Penelope told him gingerly, performing a brief curtsy.

Having completed the requisite introductions, Mrs. Wilson informed her lordship and ladyship that dinner was served.

As Colin extended his arm to escort Penelope, he turned towards Benedict, "Ah, brother. Since you are accompanying Eloise and Francesca for dinner, who will take Daphne?" he wondered aloud, much to Benedict's amusement.

Anthony gave him a wary look. The two men were still in conflict with one another, so communication was futile. Before he could propose that he would take Daphne and their mother as well, Simon spoke first.

"I would be honoured to escort Miss Bridgerton to the dining room if, of course, she won't oppose it," he offered lightly, extending his arm in her direction.

The room was silent as they observed Daphne blink in confusion at him before offering him a brief, somewhat insincere smile as she gracefully took his arm, "Of course not, I would be… delighted," she told him neutrally, invoking an amused expression from the duke.

Colin smirked as he looked at his mother's pleased expression when the two followed her and Anthony to the dining room. Benedict followed with Eloise, who exhibited a lack of enthusiasm, and Francesca, who conversed quietly, in his arms. Colin was next, offering his arm to Penelope, and he was pleased when she began rubbing his arm as they followed the line.

Although Colin thought he possessed a great memory, he forgot that during dinner time, they began discussing Lady Whistledown.

He couldn't help to worriedly glance towards Penelope, who was seated in front of him, between Daphne and Hyacinth. Whilst everyone discussed Whistledown in a loud manner, she kept her head down with a pale expression.

Colin squeezed his fork, worried for her.

"Colin, is she going to be alright?" Benedict hissed in his ear, startling him a little. He looked at his brother with a concerned frown before leaning closer to him.

"We must try to change the subject without causing any suspicion," he whispered quickly, and Benedict nodded, giving one of his rare, solemn expressions.

As the laughter calmed down at the table, Anthony continued talking, "For all we know, Whistledown may be some interloper living in Bloomsbury, of all places!"

Colin was so taken aback by his words that he had forgotten that he too, laughed at the idea of living in such a neighborhood. It was where he had planned to start a life with Penelope before Thomas' birth. Now he was ashamed of laughing along when his brother first mentioned it years ago.

"What should be so terrible about Bloomsbury?" Benedict chided, "That the people there actually work for a living?"

"She does seem someone with access." Daphne theorised.

Penelope smirked at her words, "Indeed."

"Who knows if Whistledown is even a she?" Colin quickly wondered, trying to help keep her identity safe for now.

"Fair point," Anthony pointed out, addressing him for the first time in weeks.

The two exchanged glances after which Colin felt his jaw tighten in response to his brother's gaze. It appeared that Anthony was extending an olive branch to him in front of the entire table. Colin, stubbornly, averted his gaze from his brother to focus on Penelope, who was in the midst of sipping her wine. It seemed as though she was attempting to calm her nerves in response to the heated discussion about Whistledown at the table.

"Because she is simply too good to be anyone but a man?" Eloise challenged, narrowing her eyes at her brother.

Colin smirked in her direction while Benedict mocked her by exaggeratedly mimicking her face.

"Well, I think it rather obvious that the writer is Lady Danbury," Francesca commented, leading Penelope to choke mid-sipping.

"Lady Danbury enjoys sharing her insults with society directly." Daphne contradicted with a small smirk, "She would never bother herself writing them all down."

Simon smiled amusedly at her words. His Godmother was indeed keen on enjoying a good gossip, but he could not see her as Lady Whistledown as well.

"Could it be Lady Featherington?" Hyacinth suddenly asked.

Anthony's eyes widened at her impertinence, "Hyacinth!" he scolded before looking at Penelope to see her reaction.

To everyone's surprise, Penelope giggled, "I can assure you, Hyacinth, my mother is not her."

At her positive reaction, the whole table laughed alongside her and Colin was relieved Penelope took no offence to their disbelief. Simon looked at her curiously.

"You think not? Why is that?" he wondered.

Penelope pursed her lips with a distinctly unimpressed expression, "You have yet to read what she writes about my family, Your Grace. I can assure you that if my mother was her, she would embellish our family name above all."

Violet chuckled with a nod, sipping on her cup as she silently agreed with her.

Eloise nodded as well, giving Francesca an amused simper, "Exactly. Whistledown seems to have a personal vendetta against Pen's family, little sister."

Colin stared at Penelope worriedly as he noted her expression going sour, "I believe that Whistledown doesn't always write so negatively! Nowadays she has praised our courtship, has she not, Pen?" he claimed confidently.

She smiled lovingly in return, "Y-Yes… I must agree with you, Colin."

Violet watched their interaction fondly before turning towards the duke, who was also watching the two with an unreadable expression. She kept a smile on her face before addressing him in a more private tone.

"You must forgive this rather unruly debate, your Grace."

Simon looked at her, "Nonsense, I find it entertaining," he assured her.

"Oh!" Violet chuckled softly with relief.

"All of you at one table, even the children," he continued, looking at Hyacinth and Gregory.

"Well, I realise it may be unfashionable, but we like each other," she elucidated as she beamed towards her family. Colin was engaged in a discussion with Benedict, both of whom were focused on their own conversation, even when Anthony was observing them intently, attempting to decipher them. Penelope and Eloise were exchanging words about the most recent book they had been reading together, and Francesca was contemplative as she ate, likely considering which piano piece she would play for them later that evening, and Daphne eating with a melancholy look, "Most of the time," she added with a grimace when she noticed Gregory tossing peas towards Hyacinth.

"You should join us more often, Your Grace," she offered lightly, "Perhaps when we travel to our country seat. You would be most welcome."

Colin, overhearing his mother, noted that Anthony also heard her. The viscount sat a bit straighter in his chair. As if he just realized something. But Colin didn't need to cause a distraction, he could always count on his younger siblings to create chaos by themselves.

"Gregory! Would you stop tossing peas at me!" Hyacinth exclaimed, hitting the table with her fist in frustration.

"Those peas were already there! You cannot tell me what to do. I am older!" Gregory retorted childishly.

"And I'm taller," Hyacinth threw back.

"Children!" Violet scolds them quietly, keeping a light smile on her lips to avoid any further embarrassment.

"You know, he does have a presence about him…" Francesca began conversationally towards Eloise. And Penelope, who managed to hear her because Hyacinth was now quietly pouting, nodded her head in agreement.

"If rakish Dukes were one's thing," Eloise told her, uninterested in the man.

Penelope scoffed, "If they weren't, he would not have such presence, now would he?"

Francesca gasped, delighted in her sudden remark and Eloise chuckled, "Good one, Pen!"

Colin observed the interaction with rapt attention. He was still pondering the most appropriate way to broach the subject of his awareness of Penelope's identity as Whistledown. He was aware that time was of the essence, yet he was scared of distressing her or giving the impression that he held contempt over it. Might it be more efficacious to discuss the matter in a more upbeat manner?

"Colin? Did you hear me, brother?" Benedict suddenly asked.

He sighed noisily and turned towards him, giving him his full attention now, "About the fight? Yes. I'm to spar with Jackson himself," he told him. Ring fights were not important at the moment, but Colin remembered winning against Jackson before and he believed that letting off some steam in that fight could be a good idea.

"You?"

"Is that envy I detect in your voice?" Colin smirked.

"Judgment, brother. I shall need to witness this..." Benedict scoffed.

Colin leaned closer to him, whispering, "You forget I'm from the future, brother."

Gaping at him, the realization hit Benedict quickly, "No… you actually win against him?" he groaned when Colin nodded cockily, slightly impressed, "Blimey…"

As conversations continue, Daphne, who's been quiet this whole time observing her family's interactions with affection, looks up, taken aback to see that the duke already staring at her. She promptly resumes her meal, resolved to ignore him.

"You appear displeased."

"Do I?" she wondered sarcastically.

"We find ourselves seated beside each other, Miss Bridgerton. I would like to think you happy about that." he posited.

"Perhaps, Your Grace, it would be better if you refrained from thinking about me at all," Daphne declared.

He nods amusedly as Violet eyes them from across the table with worry.

"It is simply... surprising," he admitted.

"Yes. However is it possible for a lady to offer anything but a smile whilst seated beside a Duke? Even one of your reputation," she fumed.

Penelope, who had overheard Daphne, found herself unable to refrain from diverting her attention from Eloise's words to the conversation between her and the duke. She was aware that she could not write this delicious gossip in Lady Whistledown's column, as it would be too suspicious, but, nevertheless, she was drawn to the allure of gossip and found herself unable to resist its appeal.

"You are aware of my reputation?"

"I am aware of your friendship with my eldest brother. And if that were not enough, I am also aware of the things a certain writer has recently written of you. Presumptuous, clearly. Arrogant, most definitely. You are a rake, through and through. Tell me I am wrong." Daphne retorted calmly, her eyes brewing a storm that captivated Simon even more, much to his vexation.

Anthony, who had been an attentive observer of the unfolding exchange, became increasingly concerned about the mounting tension between the two. He looked at Benedict, who was also closely monitoring the conversation as well and nodded towards their sister, urging him to maintain his focus on them. Colin cleared his throat, gently stepping on Benedict's shoes, indicating to him that he should refrain from interrupting the two of them, regardless of the circumstances. Any tension was good tension, on his account.

"Who should refrain from thinking about whom, again?" Simon retaliated.

Daphne smirked, "I assure you, I am anything but interested in you."

"Good."

"Quite."

Simon reached for his cup with a bitter expression, "And I anything but interested in you, the eldest sister of my oldest friend. Yet another recent subject of a certain writer. Chaste. Neat. Desperate." he sneered.

Daphne felt properly insulted now, "I shall have you know—"

"To marry, that is," Simon added, "Tell me I'm wrong." he threw back at her.

Penelope was unable to conceal her astonished expression. Daphne and the Duke of Hastings were utilizing her work as a point of contention, prompting her to purse her lips in an attempt to suppress a laugh. It appeared that even the remainder of the table had heard Simon's concluding remarks. Eloise did not attempt to disguise her amusement as a laugh escaped her lips. However, she was promptly silenced by a look from Violet.

Penelope grasps her cup to hide her smile as she sips her wine and Colin sighs in exasperation at the way Simon and Daphne are behaving. Did he truly fail to notice that the beginning of their relationship had been marked by such pettiness?

As Anthony clears his throat, Colin attempts to gain Penelope's attention. Upon placing her cup down and looking at him expectantly, he mouthed the words "I love you" to her, before losing even more of his sanity that night. She blushed and smiled, mouthing the words back across the table. Eloise groaned with disgust at the exchange, while Anthony began to address the duke before Daphne began arguing with him again.

"Hastings! I am so glad you decided to join us this evening. It was most spontaneous of you," he mused, keenly aware that his friend would never do such a thing.

"Not at all. With Lady Danbury accepting your dear mother's gracious invitation on my behalf, well, however, could I have declined?" Simon answered smoothly, smiling in the matriarch's direction knowingly.

Anthony turns to his mother, who is giving him an innocent look. He scowls, unimpressed at her in the slightest.

"You must stay for dessert," Violet continues, ignoring her son's disapproving eyes, "It's gooseberry pie, Your Grace!" she informed him brightly.

"Ah! Lovely!" Simon says, genuinely pleased.

Violet chuckles as if she had won a grand prize, and to celebrate she raises her cup of wine towards Anthony before taking a sip. Anthony, exasperated, looks away to stare at Daphne. He frowns at her frozen state, obviously affected by his friend's words. He bit inside his cheek, torn apart in what to do. His mother had now the silly idea that Simon would be a good match for Daphne—but this could not happen.

Anthony would never allow it.

As Colin smiled at Penelope before she walked off with Eloise and the other women to the drawing room, he took a deep breath and prepared himself to speak with the duke about Sir Crane.

The men had gathered in Anthony's study for a nightcap, the viscount looked stormy as he nursed his brandy, sitting behind his desk. Simon was sitting on one of the chairs, looking thoughtful as he stared at the fireplace warming the room from the cold, spring evening.

Colin saw him alone, so he needed to act, now. As he planned, he sought Benedict's attention. His brother, who was standing next to the window with his brandy, nodded at him. He walked towards Anthony and engaged him in a distracted conversation, shielding Simon and Colin from his sight by standing in front of them.

Clearing his throat, Colin sat on the chair next to Simon's and stared at him.

"Your Grace?" he began, keeping a calm tone, "May I inquire something?"

Simon, who was pleasantly surprised Anthony's third younger brother had finally interacted with him, nodded curiously at him, "Of course."

"I sincerely hope I am not overstepping but," he paused, delivering an emotional sigh, "I only wonder, of course."

Simon, who was now intrigued, nodded, "Please, speak freely."

"I intend on marrying Penelope but…" he shook his head sadly, "She is so worried about her cousin."

"Her… cousin?" Simon echoed, confused.

"Yes. Miss Marina Thompson, you see," looking around, Colin beckoned Simon to come closer, "What I'm about to tell you, cannot be repeated. May I have your word as a duke that you won't share what I am about to disclose to you?" he whispered pleadingly.

"You have my word," Simon told him earnestly, showing concern over Anthony's brother as the mystery increased.

"Her cousin is unmarried and with child."

Simon gaped at him, shocked, "Truly?"

Colin nodded, staring at the carpet with sadness, "Poor girl… the man who compromised her is named Sir George Crane. The only information I possess is that he is in Spain, fighting in the Napoleonic War."

"Sir Crane? I recognize the name," Simon mumbled, "But I do not see how—"

"Forgive me," Colin interrupted him, quite dramatically, "I am only trying to make the woman that I love happy and… helping her cousin would make my future wife happy," he hinted.

Realisation overlapped Simon's confusion, "I see."

Sensing some doubt, Colin began tearing up to add to his pitiful display, "I would have discussed it with my brother but… you know how he can be."

Simon silently agreed, sipping from his cup, "What do you wish from me, Mr Bridgerton?"

Taking a deep breath, Colin faced the duke with tired eyes, "I was wondering if you could use your dukedom to find Sir George and inform him of Miss Thompson's condition. I know I'm asking too much but—"

Simon raised a hand, "I shall assist you."

Simon knew what was like to grow up without a father.

Relieved, Colin's entire body relaxed against the chair, "I must confess, I did not think you would agree so easily," he admitted sheepishly, "I hope I do not offend you."

The duke smirked, "You do not. I will do my best to find Sir George. I already know of an acquaintance who might assist me, but I cannot assure you completely, Mr Bridgerton," he added in a serious tone.

"I thank you, Your Grace. If you ever need a favour from me, I shall be your obedient servant," Colin nodded in appreciation, displaying a cordial expression. He had not anticipated Simon to be so amenable, yet he was not going to voice his disquiet. His only recourse was to wait and hope they had not missed the opportunity to save Sir George's life.

He reflected on the advice Benedict had imparted. If rescuing a doomed life would result in the loss of a soul that was destined to live. Colin found himself indifferent to this prospect; he was no longer attempting to save others. His actions towards Marina were motivated by compassion. This was for her benefit and for Phillip Crane, who had been compelled to assume responsibility for Marina.

This was the last time he would help someone outside of his circle.

"What are you two discussing by the fire?" Anthony suddenly inquired, standing up from his chair and circling Benedict, who was mid-phrase when his eldest brother interrupted him.

"Uh, that was rude, Anthony. I was speaking to you," Benedict scoffed, pretending to be insulted. He threw a quick alarmed look towards Colin, and when his brother nodded at him, Benedict relaxed.

Simon chuckled, sipping his brandy before speaking, "Your brother was extending his wedding invitation to me."

Colin's eyes widened as he stared at the duke in shock, "I—"

"Wedding invitation?" Anthony repeated, surprised, "So you have already proposed to Ms Featherington?" he questioned him softly, clearly hurt.

Colin narrowed his eyes at his brother, "No, I have not. Why? Would you care if I warned you first? Or do you expect me to beg you?"

"Colin, enough. I know you intend to marry her but—"

Standing up from his chair to interrupt him, Colin bowed towards Simon and smiled tightly at him, "Thank you for accepting the invitation, Your Grace. Your presence will be an honour for me and my future wife," even though Colin was stunned at Simon's sudden excuse, he welcomed it, "If you excuse me, I will now join Ms Featherington in the drawing room."

Simon smirked amusedly at the tension between Anthony and his little brother, but he bowed his head towards Colin anyway, "I cannot wait, then. I shall write to you soon, Mr Bridgerton."

Colin comprehended the meaning of his words and was grateful for the discretion shown. He departed from the study without further comment and ignored Anthony's gaze following him. Perhaps now that his brother was left alone with Simon and Benedict, the two could force some common sense into his thick head.

He needed to escort Penelope back to her house. He could surreptitiously take her to an unoccupied room and bestow upon her a profusion of kisses upon her face and lips. However, he would have the opportunity to see her again the following day at the Vauxhall Ball and many things could happen away from any prying eyes.

And that, made him feel so much better.

Chapter 6: the butterfly effect

Summary:

in which colin accepts

Notes:

So, if you're wondering why this chapter is smaller than the other ones, it's because it's concluding episode 1 and I wanted to begin episode 2 with a new chapter. Basically, this chapter should have been together with chapter 5 but I got author's block.

I am not satisfied with this chapter but I'll bring it all in the next one.

Thank you for reading!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

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Dearest gentle readers,

Be it shame or slander, seduction, or smear, there is but one thing that humbles even the most highly regarded members of our dear ton. A scandal! Well, dear reader, it should seem that all of Grosvenor Square has been left to ponder a rather scandalous question, indeed. Might one former diamond's recent fall from grace turn out to be the most damning scandal of all?

Yours Truly,

Lady Whistledown

May 10th, 1813

The night of the Vauxhall Ball had arrived, and Colin decided that he would tell Penelope about Lady Whistledown that evening. He had been contemplating it throughout the night and had lost much of his sleep as a result, but he was a determined man. He believed that the sooner she knew, the faster he could take care of Berbrooke and reveal the truth to Eloise before it was too late.

As the rowing boat carrying his family reached the pier, the gangplank was extended to allow them to disembark. Colin ensured that his mother crossed it safely before proceeding to do so himself, entrusting Anthony to assist Daphne.

Colin proceeded with a brisk gait through the gardens illuminated by torchlight. He observed the ball with a smile, knowing that Penelope was there. However, he was nearly reminded of what would transpire during their greeting: a certain debutante would intercede and "accidentally" spill her lemonade on Penelope's gown.

He smiled darkly—not this time.

Amidst the bustling dance floor and the multitude of people engaged in conversation, Colin uttered a curse as he took in his surroundings. He had previously located her by the refreshment tables and had ascertained that she was on the other side of the hall. With a sense of purpose, he proceeded past numerous people who attempted to engage him in conversation, including Lord Fife and Lord Cho. As he finally laid eyes on her, the tension in his shoulders eased.

Penelope was standing idly, attired in a pink, beautiful floral dress and with her curls cascading down her back. She was unaware of his presence, so he stealthily approached from behind and blew air into her ear, causing her to squeal and jump away from him in surprise. He would have laughed at her adorable reaction had it not been for the eyes that fell upon them after the amusing spectacle.

"Miss Featherington," he bowed, attempting to restrain his grin.

"Colin!" she gasped, her initial shock shifting to a pout, "You startled me!" even though she looked slightly upset, Colin noticed her small smile.

"Forgive me, my love, I promise I won't do such a thing again," he whispered, reaching for her gloved hand and pressing a kiss on her fingers as an apology. When he looked back at her, he noticed her butterfly necklace and his heart skipped a beat—have butterflies always chased after the Featheringtons?

Penelope looked pleased and nodded, "I was not sure you would be here."

"Sorry to disappoint," he chuckled, and when she smiled he looked around, "Where is your mother? And your sisters?"

"Marina is ill," Penelope informed him, looking at her hand still being held by his, "My mama had to stay home with her. Papa had to chaperone," her tone became happier at the end, "I'm quite enjoying the fact that he is here," Colin looked at Lord Featherington with a frown, noting how the man looked around paranoidly as he sipped his drink, "Mama would never allow me to wear a dress like this. Not, uh, yellow enough, I think."

She chuckled at the private joke between them, which prompted him to return a grin. He would persist on it until his death, whereas she would continue to refute it or not, but Colin found great pleasure in seeing her in her citrus-coloured gowns. Regardless of her beliefs, to him, she would appear beautiful even if she were to wear a potato sack. There were tones of yellow that suited his wife well; pale colours and bright greens were his favourites. However, she had become more confident in her new colours, his family ones.

She was born to be a Bridgerton.

Before he could respond, Cressida Cowper manoeuvred between them with the dexterity of a serpent, eliciting a frown of displeasure from him as she led a contingent of other debutantes, who had been derisively mocking Penelope behind her back. He regarded his future wife and observed her cheerful demeanour swiftly dissipate as Cressida positioned herself in front of her, effectively shielding her from Colin's gaze.

He began fuming as he looked at the viper flutter her eyelashes at him.

"Mr. Bridgerton," she greeted him lightly, ignoring Penelope's presence completely. As a gentleman, he still bowed his head to her but that was the end of his courtesy towards her, "I believe you owe me a dance this evening. And I have only one more space remaining on my card at present."

"How convenient," Penelope stated bitterly.

Before Cressida could ruin Penelope's dress, Colin promptly grasped Penelope's hand and led her to his side, thus avoiding the repeated lemonade spill. Instead, the spill occurred on the floor, prompting gasps from bystanders at the sound of its splash.

"Ah, Miss Cowper, it seems you have spilt your lemonade. How clumsy of you," Colin drawled with a smirk, "As for the dance, I afraid I cannot offer it," he looked down at Penelope adoringly, lacing his voice with gentleness, "I am to escort Miss Featherington to the floor," he returned his gaze towards Cressida, conveying his disdain through his faux smile, "After all, I am courting her," he sneered, pleased when he saw her cheeks redden quickly as embarrassment filled her expression.

Although Cressida Cowper helped him realise that he had been jealous of Penelope, he would never forgive her for the way he treated and threatened his wife. Colin heard that Cressida left for Scotland to live with her Aunt—good riddance.

"Well, I—"

Any further attempts to prolong this moment would have been arduous for Colin to endure. So, before Cressida could speak, he led Penelope away from them as lively fiddle music began, commencing a galop dance. This was one of the dances he and Penelope never missed out on, due to how enjoyable it was. As he positioned themselves on the dance floor, he regarded her to check on her well-being, noticing a look of awe on her face that he found endearing, though also somewhat disheartening.

He wished to see a change in her reaction to his displays of loyalty and protection. Colin needed to show his complete devotion to her, to the point where she would no longer view his actions with awe.

They participated in the dance with evident mirth, moving in synchrony with the other dancers and maintaining eye contact throughout. Colin was aware that he needed to find a way to be alone with her without detection. Given that Lord Featherington was the chaperoning tonight, Colin felt that this would be a relatively straightforward task.

And maybe, he could kill two birds with one stone while he was at it.

When the dance was over due to the interruption of the host of the ball announcing an extraordinary event that the guest must see.

Colin kept holding Penelope's hand and looked around, hoping to find a route he could take her into. He knew that everyone in the ton was aware of their courtship but he still wanted to keep Penelope's reputation high, lest someone start a rumour similar to Marina's condition.

He wanted everyone to know that he was marrying her for love, not out of duty.

As everyone followed the host, Colin squeezed Penelope's hand to quietly draw her attention to him, "Pen, do you trust me?" he whispered.

She nodded quickly, "Of course," even though she was sure of her answer, Penelope still tilted her head in confusion at his question, "Why?"

"Come with me?" he asked her softly, not wanting to force her, "Please?"

Penelope squeezed his hand and looked at him with a determined look, "Lead the way, Colin."

He beamed at her trust and carefully looked around before walking in the opposite way of where everyone was going to, into the Dark Walk, where no one would see them but where he would find his sister and Berbrooke. Perhaps he could give Lady Whistledown something to write about.

In retrospect, Colin should also be aware that changing the past would eventually bite you in the arse—so when Simon was also escaping the eyes of hungry Mamas and decided to also venture into the Dark Walk to hide there until the ball was over, he noted Anthony's brother leading Miss Featherington inside of it.

Now, as much as amusing that was to see, as a gentleman Simon knew he should stop Colin from compromising the young girl before their marriage. It did not matter if he was going to marry her or not, Simon felt a sense of purpose to teach the young man how to properly do things. Especially when he was related to a good friend of his.

So, he quickened his steps and followed them.

"Colin?" Penelope called, her voice wavering nervously.

He was now alone with her, traversing the unlit and quiet path, which was bordered by tall bushes that resembled a maze. At her anxious voice, he ceased walking to smile at her, in an attempt to assuage her anxiety about being alone with him.

"Yes, my love?"

"Why a-are we here?" she asked, drawing her hand from his to fiddle her fingers together.

He frowned at the loss of her touch but did not insist on it, "I need to speak with you about something important. Something that no one else can hear, at least for now."

Penelope froze, giving him a confused look, "Oh…?"

Colin sighed, thinking deeply about what to say before addressing her, "Penelope, there is something that I discovered about you that should not be taken lightly. In fact, it could ruin you and endanger you as well," when he noticed that her complexion was beginning to pale at an alarming rate, he quickly toned his voice to be more gentle, "But I have accepted it. And I love you even more because of it."

Penelope's breathing quickened as she inwardly tried to find the answer before he could say it. Surely, he didn't? He couldn't!

"Colin? You are scaring me, I—"

"You are her. Lady Whistledown. I know it's you, my love, there is no need to deny it," he interjected gently, moving closer to her and furrowing his brow sadly when she took a step back, "Pen, it's alright… you don't have to hide it from me. I love you," he cooed, extending his hand towards her, waiting for her to take it.

He could not force it.

Colin was aware that Penelope was scared now. It was likely that she was contemplating the possibility that he would no longer desire to proceed with the courtship. Their engagement and the beginning of their marriage would forever be tainted by his regret over how unnecessarily cruel he had been towards her, all because of his jealousy and incapacity of handling his emotions more maturely.

His behaviour towards her still caused him remorse to this day, regardless of how much Penelope validated his emotions and assured him that his feelings had been justified. Colin would forever regret his actions.

Not this time.

He would ensure that he did not allow Lady Whistledown to nearly destroy his relationship with Penelope. He would not succumb to jealousy; instead, he would be proud.

"I don't understand," she whispered, mostly to herself and lost in deep thought, "I thought I was careful, how could you… how did you…?" she looked at him, her paleness worrying him, and her eyes brimmed with tears, "How, Colin? How did you find how?!" she advanced towards him and grasped his coat, shaking him slightly as she sobbed defeatedly against his chest.

"Oh, Pen…" he gently silenced her with a soft, reassuring voice and embraced her firmly, allowing her to freely weep, "You may think no one sees you, but I do. I noticed you. I followed you," he felt guilty for telling her another white lie, yet Colin was uncertain that informing his wife, who was already in a state of emotional distress, that he was from the future was not the best idea, "I needed to make sure you were safe."

She sniffed, looking up to give him an unsettled look, "Y-You followed me? All this time? But… but I never noticed you," she muttered, furrowing her brows quizzically and making him smile at how adorable she looked.

He exhaled noisily, grinning boyishly at her, "That was kind of the point, my love."

She wiped her tears with the back of her gloves, looking down with shame, "And you would still want to continue courting me? Even after finding out that I am her?" she spat sourly.

His eyes darkened, and he drew her closer to his body, making her gasp, "Courting? Penelope, I wish to marry you," he leaned closer, his voice dropping to a growl, "I want you. No matter what. You. Are. Mine."

Penelope's lower lip trembled as a warm sensation of desire filled her body. She had never experienced such an ardent physical sensation; it was as if an intense heat radiated between her thighs. She felt the urge to move her legs, to rub them together in an attempt to alleviate the discomfort, but Colin was holding her firmly against him, and all she could feel was him.

"Colin…" she whimpered before closing her eyes as he leaned in closer, capturing her lips in a kiss that was both searing and deep. It was a kiss that left her breathless and gasping for air. It was a kiss that deviated from the chaste kisses they had shared previously.

A kiss that scorched her.

The sudden noise of a throat being cleared nearby served as a cold water bucket being dumped on her.

"Blasted!" Colin cursed as he pulled away from her face, bringing her closer to shield her from any eyes, "Who goes there?" he yelled, looking at the darkness of the pathways in the vicinity.

Simon Basset emerged from the shadows, bearing a smirk.

"This is a surprise," the duke stated, bowing his head towards them as a greeting.

Penelope turned from Colin to give a horrified look towards him and Colin kept her close. He felt utterly foolish—how could he have been so careless? He got so distracted by the kiss that he failed to pay attention to his surroundings and now they have been exposed, to Simon of all people.

Even though Colin knew he was a good man, he still chose to stand in front of Penelope protectively.

"Your Grace, you have startled us," Colin began smoothly, smiling at him, "I assure you, nothing untoward has happened. I was merely exchanging a kiss with my future wife."

Simon chuckled dryly, "I could see that, do forgive me. I don't mean to interrupt but as a gentleman, and a duke, I must make sure that Miss Featherington is correctly chaperoned—especially when she is with her suitor," he claimed with a pointed look, as if he was scolding Colin.

Colin let out a relieved sigh. So Simon was only here because he had spotted them alone. He was so glad that he burst out a startled chuckle, "Oh! Of course, you are correct," he nodded vigorously and Penelope whimpered behind him, surely worried by how far Simon had heard them as well.

She left her hiding spot behind him and curtsied towards the duke, offering a weak smile, "Good evening, Your Grace."

"Miss Featherington," Simon bowed, looking at her amusedly.

"I would like to inform you that Mr. Bridgerton has been nothing but a proper gentleman towards me. We simply required… privacy to converse, away from… prying eyes," she attempted to assure.

"Of course. I think you are right, Miss Featherington. After all, I have only been in London for weeks and I can see how much the ton likes to… gossip," he told them, placing his arms behind his back to stand straighter, "But I shall keep this to myself," Colin's eyes widened when noticed Simon regarding Penelope with an interested glint, "You have my word, my Lady."

Colin was aware that this discussion was no longer focused on catching them without a chaperone. His suspicions were confirmed when he observed Simon bowing to his wife and smirking knowingly in his direction.

"I have seen enough. If you claim that nothing untoward has happened, then I shall leave you. I bid you a good evening, Miss Featherington, Mr Bridgerton," he parted from them, returning to the shadows from whence he showed up from.

Colin and Penelope exchanged a worried look. She was visibly on the verge of collapsing, while he displayed a look of disbelief, struggling to comprehend how he could have made such a significant error.

Simon Basset now knew that Penelope was Lady Whistledown.

And Colin had no idea what that meant for the future.

It took approximately twenty minutes for Colin to finally calm Penelope down.

Once they were entirely alone again, she began to panic. She had initially fled from him, sobbing loudly and struggling to breathe properly. He had then followed her, reaching for her and pulling her to him, keeping her protected under his arms, where she belonged.

God.

He messed it up.

Penelope was a mess.

After finally catching her, she initially resisted his attempts to calm her down, babbling incoherently. Colin heard her mention running away, taking her Whistledown money and disappearing. He proceeded to calm her down with a soothing kiss, which she responded to by melting in his arms. He alternated between kissing her face, ears, and chin until she ceased crying.

Then, Colin advised her to touch his face and hair, serving as a grounding moment. As she ran her fingers through his hair, he guided her to sit on the grass. With her now on his lap, she continued to sob quietly while cupping his face, and Colin looked on with a sad expression.

"We cannot panic, Pen," he began softly, "The Duke of Hastings is a good man, my brother has known him as long as I have known you and he gave us his word he would not tell anyone," he reasoned, giving Simon the benefit of doubt.

Penelope took a deep breath and, while still sniffling, ceased to cup his face and instead rested her head on his chest, with her hands resting on her lap, "But Colin, he is very close with Lady Danbury, what if he tells her? Then Lady Danbury will certainly tell the Queen…" she faltered, already imagining the scenario inside her head.

Colin hated how broken she sounded, "Do not say that, Penelope. We must approach him when we can and talk to him. I… I trust him," he stated firmly, holding her closer, "I will fix this, my love."

She whimpered, "I wrote about him… Oh God… what if he wants revenge? He is a Duke, he has the power to ruin me!"

Once again, she was building up her panic with her overthinking. This is precisely what he thought would happen when he discovered Penelope's identity as Lady Whistledown for the first time. His initial response was not anger, as she had assumed, but rather fear. He was afraid that something similar like this would occur to her in 1815. The ironic twist was that he was the one responsible for his biggest fear. He once again vowed to protect her but ultimately failed to do so.

He had assumed that time was on his side. He had been too arrogant. However, this was no longer the case. Given the changing circumstances, Colin would no longer rely on his previous knowledge and experience. He was also hearing new things from his family and observing changes in the behaviour of others, which he believed may have been influenced by his personality shift.

He decided to trust his instincts first.

"Penelope, look at me," he cupped her face and stared at her blue eyes intently, "I promise you and swear to you that nothing will happen. Leave the duke to me, I will make sure he keeps his word. You mustn't worry about it, I know you will but must promise me, my love, that you won't disappear from my life. Promise me, Penelope."

She blinked, looking up despondently, but still nodded, "I promise, Colin. I do."

That was good enough for him.

Colin kissed her forehead and positioned her once more in his lap, attempting to discern an appropriate approach to Simon concerning this matter without coming across as threatening. It was clear that Colin was angry with Simon, but he needed to remain calm to maintain a sense of peace. Colin trusted Simon. He was his brother-in-law was a loving husband to Daphne, as well as a good father. There were numerous times when Simon had placed his trust in Colin to roughhouse with Auggie and let Bel nap on top of him.

They were family.

But Penelope didn't know that.

Therefore, his priorities would have to be reoriented. Daphne and Simon would start their pretence of a courtship tonight, and he was aware that she would be out of Berbrooke's reach for a while before he would strike again. With this in mind, Colin was going to focus on Penelope's situation.

He would not request that she divulge the truth to Eloise at this time, given her delicate state, but he would address the matter with her soon—for her own sake.

"We must return to the ball soon, lest your father notices your absence," he crooned, planting a kiss on the crown of her head and inhaling the lavender aroma emanating from her soap.

Penelope nodded with silent acquiescence before accepting his assistance as they rose to their feet from the grass. He tilted her chin upward, regarding her sad eyes with a pang of empathy, "Do not be discouraged, my love. All will be well," he promised with a measured tone.

Everything needed to be well, because if it didn't, Colin didn't know what he would do.

Returning to the ball was achieved without incident, and, given that Penelope appeared to have recovered sufficiently, Colin chose to improve her mood by presenting her with a chocolate cupcake for them to share.

She had given him a perplexed look but accepted it anyway, amused at the voracious eating of his half. Colin was pleased to have made her laugh after seeing her so despondent; he was willing to do whatever it took to make her happy, even if it meant becoming her personal jester.

Once they had finished, the sugar—or perhaps it was something else—had had the desired effect, restoring Penelope's cheeks to their former rosiness and giving her a healthy appearance. He was gratified by this outcome and thus resolved to conclude the evening by taking a place with her on the last dance of the ball and signing her card.

Then, it happened.

As the fireworks lit up the night sky, Colin and Penelope observed Simon and Daphne approaching them on the dance floor. The ton's eyes, filled with curiosity and shock, followed their movements. As Daphne greeted Penelope with a smile and Simon bowed his head towards Colin with a friendly countenance, Colin was reassured that the duke would honour his promise.

Having established a safer distance from the other dancers, Colin directed his attention to Penelope to ascertain her reaction to the eventful sight. However, he observed only Lady Whistledown at work. His wife was gazing at the duke and his sister with rapt attention, presumably already formulating her next column. He smiled at her knowingly and redirected her gaze towards him by gently tilting her chin with his fingers.

As the fireworks display commenced, the dance began and Colin proceeded to lead his wife. She followed with great poise and demonstrated a proficiency in dancing that was on par with his own abilities. Throughout the dance, he maintained eye contact with her, as they moved in unison with the other dancers.

Simon knowing about Lady Whistledown in 1813 never happened.

But neither did Colin's courtship with Penelope.

Some events have occurred ahead of time, yet Colin was confident that the duke would not take advantage of his newfound knowledge. After all, he was planning to rely on Lady Whistledown to publicize his fictitious courtship with Daphne. Colin assumed that he would seek an audience with them to discuss the matter in question soon.

Soon.

Colin was beginning to grow weary of that word.

He wanted to do things now.

To fix everything now.

However, as he had previously considered, he could not afford to be unduly hasty. It was crucial for him to control his emotions and actions. He needed to remain calm and approach the situation with a clear and objective mind.

As Colin lowered Penelope into the dance, additional fireworks commenced behind them. He gazed at her eyes with intense devotion, while she appeared similarly infatuated with the proximity the dance had afforded them. It seemed as though she had forgotten the events that had transpired moments earlier in the Dark Walk.

For those not in attendance at the Vauxhall celebration, you missed the most remarkable coup of the season.

It appears Miss Daphne Bridgerton has captured the interest of the newly returned Duke of Hastings.

Dancing with Penelope was instinctive, nearly natural. Her undivided attention was a powerful aphrodisiac, making him feel more significant than any lord or duke could ever hope to be.

Tonight, he would prove his fidelity to her by accompanying her to the printer. And he would support her. He would protect her.

How the young miss secured her newfound suitor is yet to be determined.

Yet, if anyone shall reveal the circumstances of this match, it is I.

Yours truly,

Lady Whistledown

He would love her.