Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.

CanBul: Watch Your Mouth

"Thank you, America, for your… exciting presentation," Germany said, looking as though it physically pained him not to say what he truly thought of America's presentation. "Next up is Canada."

Bulgaria sighed in relief. He had started to get a headache because of America's hyperactive presentation. And he couldn't even remember what it was about in the first place. Did America even remember what it was supposed to be about? At least Canada should be able to ease the pain.

"And here comes America's boring neighbour," the person next to Bulgaria muttered.

Bulgaria's eyes widened, and he turned to look at Poland, who wasn't even looking in anyone's direction. He had his head propped on his hand and looked bored.

"What was that?" Bulgaria asked.

Poland looked a bit startled, as though he didn't even mean to say that out loud, but now that he knew that he had an audience, he had a decision to make.

"Like, what's even the point of having him talk?" Poland asked. "Everyone's going to be asleep in like two minutes. And that's just the people who are going to try to listen to him. The others won't be bothered because he looks just like America. Seriously, it's like he's a failed copy or something."

"And what does him looking like America have to do with anything?" Bulgaria asked.

"Like, we just listened to America. People are going to tune him out because they're going to think it's more of the same. Seriously, it's like he isn't even his own person. No one actually remembers him." Poland was silent for a moment before he snickered. "Look, he's actually trying to be excited about this."

Bulgaria tuned in to Canada. His speech was about the preservation of culture while accepting new ideas. And Poland was wrong. Canada wasn't trying to be excited. He was genuinely passionate about this.

"Like, does he think people will actually remember him if he tries to act like America?" Poland scoffed.

Bulgaria could see on the other side of Poland that a few of the other nations were also listening in. Bulgaria locked eyes with Lithuania, whose own eyes widened, before Bulgaria turned back to Poland.

"So, is there anything else that you would like to say about my boyfriend?" Bulgaria asked.

It took Poland a moment to process the question, but then his eyes widened and he turned to look at Bulgaria, who silently apologised to Canada before he brought his fist up.

…

"Ow!" Poland exclaimed when Greece dabbed at his bloody lip with a cotton ball.

"You shouldn't have said all those things about Canada," Lithuania sighed.

After Bulgaria decided to kick the tar out of Poland, Germany hastily called a meeting, but not before Bulgaria had done a significant amount of damage. It took a while to pull Bulgaria off of Poland, and once he was done, he stormed out of the meeting room. From the perspective of most nations, Bulgaria lost his temper at Poland for no reason. Greece and Lithuania were among the few nations who knew what happened, and were the ones to patch Poland up.

"Like, how was I to know that Bulgaria was dating Canada?" Poland huffed.

"You shouldn't have said those things in the first place," Greece said.

"Aren't you supposed to be on my side?"

"Not if you're the one in the wrong. Don't get me wrong, I would like to pay Bulgaria back for what he did to you, but I kind of understand it. I would do the same if someone was insulting you."

…

"What happened between you and Poland?" Canada asked as he approached Bulgaria.

Bulgaria wrapped his arms around Canada's shoulders and sighed.

"He said some pretty nasty things about you," Bulgaria said. "I had to teach him to keep his opinions to himself."

Canada sighed.

"While I appreciate you trying to defend me," Canada said, "you shouldn't have beat someone up to do that."

"Matt… The only thing I hate more than people forgetting you is people actively being mean to you. Even if it's not to your face. Actually, I think especially when they're not doing it to your face. Dirty cowards."

The prompt is: 'How about a one shot where a nation unintentionally snarks on Canada to Canada's partner by referring to him as America's boring neighbour, and said partner eggs them on by asking why they think Canada was boring, which results in the nation saying everything they dislike about Canada, oblivious to who they're talking to and the fact that others are trying to stop the nation. It would then cut to the aftermath of Canada's partner fighting the other nation, where the offending nation gets their wounds treated by their partner, with the offending nation grumbling about how they didn't know that they were talking to Canada's partner.'

And I'm going to do a proper Greece/Poland eventually.