Luke's Quarters

Executor

In Orbit around Bespin

"Wow," Luke Skywalker said.

"I know, right?" his older counterpart remarked. "It is a sign of Vader's schizophrenia that he is perfectly cheerful about chopping off one of your limbs, but he also obviously spent a lot of time and credits on your 'prison cell'."

"This is not a prison cell," younger Luke remarked in awe.

"It is, though," Older Luke said, flopping dramatically onto the large bed, with its synthsilk coverlet and four enormous pillows. "Yes, you have a water refresher, and a great window looking out into space, and tasty snacks in cupboards, and a closet full of nice clothes, and plushies on the bed, but if he had captured you, the door would have been locked."

"It is locked even now," Vader declared from his position near the door.

Older Luke sat up and casually waved two fingers toward the door, which obediently opened. He gestured again, and the door closed again.

"I can open most locks with the Force," he explained cheerfully.

"I can't," Younger Luke said gloomily.

"I know, and that's just one of the myriad reasons we need to get Han out of carbonite and back in circulation. Most of what I know about picking locks is from him."

Young Luke looked startled, and then horrified. "I forgot about Han!"

He turned a betrayed look on his father, who was still acting the part of a black monolith, and said, "How could you put my friend in carbonite and ship him off to Jabba the Hutt?"

"He choked his own wife," Older Luke said, "and tortured his own daughter twice. We all know that he is not a good person."

This provoked a genuine twitch from the Sith Lord, who said heavily, "If I had known about my daughter..."

"It is just as well that you didn't," the older version of his son said. "Your son isn't the type to turn Dark Side, but Leia has a real temper and is more at risk."

"Leia wouldn't turn," Young Luke said indignantly.

"In one of the timelines we fixed, she had, though in fairness to her, Vader found her as a child. Anyway, all of that is lava down the mountain. Leia is at the point where she won't turn, and Vader isn't going to try anyway, and Palpatine will shortly be dead."

This provoked more twitching from the Sith Lord, plus an agitated index finger pointed at Older Luke. "The Light is weak, and I..."

"I know," Older Luke interrupted, "I know. Let's discuss it later, shall we? We need to get Palpatine killed off."

Silence fell for ten seconds as Vader and son looked at one another, and Older Luke waited patiently.

"We could do bees again?" younger Luke suggested timidly.

His older counterpart wrinkled his nose and sighed. "We could, but that seems kind of boring."

Vader turned to look down at the younger man. "Boring? Surely you are not so immature as to worry about boredom when destroying the Sith Lord who murdered your very mother?"

Older Luke pouted a little and then sighed. "You are right, of course. Bees it is."

"Or maybe a rancor?" younger Luke mused. "Or a krayt dragon!"

Older Luke rolled to his feet with some reluctance – the bed was really nice and soft and comfy – and put an arm around his younger self.

"Rancors and krayt dragons are wonderful," he agreed, "but Palpatine would dispose of them with ease. The nice thing about bees, along with his natural phobia, is that there are so many of them that it isn't easy to contain them with the Force. He could easily lift up a rancor and throw it out a window, or crush its windpipe..."

"He could do that?" Young Luke asked in awe.

"Totally."

"Where did you get the bees in the previous timeline?" Vader asked.

Older Luke frowned. "From the zoo on Coruscant, of course. We snuck in there..."

"There is no longer a zoo on Corscant."

Older Luke scowled hideously and rolled his eyes. "I forgot about that. Yeah, there is in my timeline now, and we have taken the kids to it a few times, but Palpatine sold off the various animals for cash at some point. We'll have to do something else… what?"

Father and son jerked to attention and stared at the time traveler.

"What what?" Young Luke asked anxiously.

/

Slave 1

In Hyperspace

Thirty minutes earlier

Han Solo, frozen in carbonite, was not a happy man.

Being frozen was not painful, thankfully. Not at all. But it was so weird and unpleasant to be unable to move. Like, not at all. Not a finger, not a toe, not an eyebrow.

It was the sort of thing that well might make someone else go entirely crazy. He was, he thought, a pretty down to Corellia kind of guy, and so far hadn't lost his mind, but if this lasted much longer…

And of course, when he was removed from carbonite, he would probably be immediately face to face with Jabba, who would toy with him and then murder him unpleasantly.

He had no idea how long he had been in carbonite either. Time passed very strangely. It could have been hours. Days. Weeks. Years. Decades for all he knew?

And Leia, and Chewbacca…they might be dead by now. Probably not, right? Probably?

And Luke too. The kid was a great person but out of his depth. Vader would have him for brunch. He was probably dead.

But there was no point in worrying about it. He couldn't do a thing.

Definitely life was not going well at all.

There was suddenly a strange warmth in his chest, and he metaphorically tilted his head. Not literally, because he couldn't.

The warmth was spreading, and now his arms were warm and his legs, and his entire torso.

He twitched. He actually twitched!

He was being unfrozen!

Which was, again, probably not good because of Jabba but…

He was twitching all over now, and there was hot carbonite flowing off of his face, which meant his face was uncovered, and he took in deep rasps of precious air, and coughed a few times.

"You are all right, Han," a very welcome voice said gently. "Take it easily."

"Leia?" he choked out in wonder.

"Yes, it is Leia," the feminine voice said, and he felt her surprisingly strong arm slip around his chest and leverage him into a standing position. "Here, have a seat right here."

He opened his eyes and blinked frantically. "I can't see!"

"It is one of the really sucky things about carbonite," Leia said soothingly. "Your eyesight will return in time."

The arm lowered him and he found himself on a cushioned seat, and he opened his eyes, squinted, and sighed. Total blindness was so not good.

"Where am I?" he demanded, clutching Leia's arm.

"On Boba Fett's ship, Slave 1, but I stole it and left him behind on Eriadu. We're in hyperspace so safe for now."

Han cogitated about this for a full two minutes and then said, "How did you escape Bespin? Where is Chewie? For that matter, how long has it been since I was put in carbon freeze?"

A sudden tinge of warmth wafted across his face, and Leia said, "I have some tea for you. Drink up; it will help you feel better."

"I would rather have some booze," he said drily.

"No booze until you have recovered a bit, Ok?"

Han sighed deeply and lifted his right hand to grasp the cup. His fingers trembled, and he was grateful when Leia assisted him to pour boring tea into his mouth. He drunk it down, and felt slightly better.

"You were carbon frozen a few days ago," Leia said. "As for Chewie, he should be fine. But here's the thing…"

She trailed off and Han stiffened. "What is it? Luke?"

"No, Luke is fine too. It's just that…"

He felt her hand remove the cup from his, and then she lifted his hand to her own head. He took the obviously offered opportunity to run his hands over her head, and discovered something shocking.

"You … you cut off your hair?"

"Yes, but your Leia has not. Which of course means nothing to you, but I do not know what else to do but speak plainly. I am not the Leia Organa you love. I am, instead, a Leia Organa from another timeline, brought here by the Force to rescue you, and happily married to my own Han Solo and mother of his four children."

Of all the absurdities in this statement, the one that gobsmacked Han the most was the last bit.

"Four sprogs?" he demanded in disbelief. "You must be joking!"

She laughed, and he knew that laugh, knew it well, though there was also a trifle odd, as if she were indeed a bit older.

"You are shivering," Leia said, and now she sounded concerned. "Let me look around for a blanket."

He was cold, and yes, another blanket would be nice, assuming this all wasn't some weird fever dream. Time traveling? Marriage.

FOUR KIDS?

His cogitations were interrupted by a sudden nauseating smell which wafted into his nostrils, causing him to gag in disgust.

"Ugh!" Leia cried out, and he heard her feet rushing toward him. "Let's get into the cockpit and shut the door. Does that man never wash anything? That is totally disgusting!"

Han allowed himself to be pulled to his feet and hauled, with surprising strength, into what was presumably the cockpit though he could not, of course, see anything.

The door was shut firmly behind him, and he sank with relief into a surprisingly comfortable chair.

"What was that smell?" he asked weakly.

"Boba Fett's laundry, apparently. Totally nasty," Apparently Older and Mother of four children Leia said.

"Doesn't surprise me," Han said gloomily. "The man is a menace."

"I guess I actually feel a little sorry for him," Leia replied in a tone of wonder. "Imagine smelling that every time you went to bed? Or maybe he sleeps in the armor? Oh!"

"Oh?" Han repeated worriedly.

"Luke is contacting me," his companion replied in a distracted tone. "Not your Luke, my Luke, of course. Yeah, we need to make a plan."

"Plan?" Han repeated.

"Shhhh, I'm talking telepathically," Leia said.

Well, all right then.