- Last name?
- Maddison
- Name?
- Leila
- Take these clothes, put them on, and when you are ready get in line for the medical examination at the infirmary.
- Yes, boss - I answered with a slight tremor in my voice.
The prison officer seemed to notice this, looked me up and down and softened the expression on her face. She was young, quite graceful and had brown hair pulled back in a tight braid at the roots.
- Try to go unnoticed, occupy your time as much as possible and serve your sentence. That way you won't have any problems
I nodded. I wish it were that easy...
I sat down on one of the benches and changed my clothes as quickly as I could. Navy pants and a white long-sleeved T-shirt. I put the light blue shirt on over it but didn't button it up. It was pretty hot... or I was too nervous. I put on my black boots and tried to flex my foot several times. I was uncomfortable, they were too big for me.
We were led in line to the area where the infirmary was located. We didn't say a word to each other, we were totally silent. The only thing that could be heard was the sound of our footsteps. When it was my turn, I was ushered into a white-walled room. It smelled a bit like disinfectant.
- Please sit down... Leila Maddison? Correct?
- Yes... doctor...
- Tancredi... - she smiled at me - but you can call me Sara.
She seemed nice. Her face conveyed tranquility and she must have been only a few years older than me.
- Any allergies, illnesses, do you take any chronic medication? - I shook my head - any food intolerance, have you had any surgery?
- No... well... yes - I stretched out my arm and showed him the inside of my right wrist where I had a rather long scar - I broke the distal part of my radius in a fall while skating...
The doctor held my arm gently and exerted light pressure on the white mark left by the operation.
- I imagine you've had a plate put in... does it bother you or does it usually hurt?
- Well... in general no... although sometimes I feel some pricks when it is very humid... - I smiled shyly and shrugged my shoulders.
She looked into my eyes... I guessed with a mixture of pity for being imprisoned, but also curiosity. I preferred that to contempt.
- From what you said before... do you know anything about medicine?
- I studied the first two years of my career and during that time I managed to do some internships... my third year I tried to do it from a distance but...
I ducked my head and didn't finish the sentence. Now I was here... nothing from the past mattered anymore.
- Can I... put that in your file? - the doctor asked me cautiously - maybe if they see that you have higher studies they will allow you to resume them if you are interested or even help me here. The time in the cell can be very long...
I nodded with a blank stare. I wasn't sure if I could ask her the question that had been on my mind for days.
- Is something wrong?
- Dr. Tan... Sara... - I wrung my hands nervously - how is our life going to be here...? I mean... we women have been transferred from the Oregon prison... I imagine we will be in a different module from the men...
- Of course... your cells are in the northern area and you will only share the common areas, such as the dining room or the courtyard. These facilities are very large it is true, but as the fire in your prison has been supervened... changes had to be made in a very short time.
Unfortunately we were not going to be totally separated from the men, so we would have to put up with some uncomfortable situations, I was sure of that. The good thing was that all the spaces in the prison were guarded by the guards, and of course, I would follow to the letter the recommendation to go as unnoticed as possible.
- Excuse me Leila... your boots - the doctor pointed to my feet when she saw me walking - aren't they a little big? - I nodded - you'll be uncomfortable. Ask to have them changed. You will need to fill out a form with the things you are missing as long as they are allowed in the cells. Uniform changes, towels, toiletries... it's code FP.32, you can ask any guard outside. We have an office right next door where they are kept.
I thanked him fervently for his kindness, caught my breath and went out into the hallway to face the harsh reality. What had my life become now? Following orders, living in fear, having every minute of my time clocked?
For a moment I was paralyzed. I did not want to leave. I knew that in a few minutes I would find myself confined in my new cell, in a distressing space, with another roommate, and having to watch my back every step of the way.
- Come on! move in!
A gentle nudge on my shoulder brought me out of my reverie. Behind me stood one of the guards. Big, broad-chested and with little hair, which was visible under his cap.
I turned around and apologized with my head down. I didn't want to go in for the evil eye as soon as I arrived.
- What are you waiting for to get back in line with the others? It's time to get assigned to your new "suite"...
He said this last with a sneer and I felt rage coursing through my body. "Bellick..." read the badge I wore on my uniform. I would burn that name into my memory.
- Is something wrong, girl? Why are you standing there? My time is money and I'm not here to waste it!
I hesitated... I don't know if it was the right time to ask for what the doctor had told me.
- I need the FP.32 form...I need to request some things that I am missing - I regretted saying this last thing a second later...the best thing to do is to use short sentences and not give so much information. I should have learned that before in Oregon.
- You don't say? isn't everything to the lady's liking? - he looked me up and down, stopping at the points that perhaps seemed most interesting to him.
My inner self wanted to scream at that very moment. If there was one thing in this life I couldn't stand, it was bullies. Pathological cowards who exercised their power over those who were in a position of inferiority, as was my case. And if they had a badge and a truncheon on top of that, the combination was even worse.
- Is there a problem? - Dr. Tancredi's voice behind me almost made me cry with emotion - did you get the Leila form yet?
I said nothing, but the guard answered for me.
- I'm not sure if we have them available right now, doctor.
- Well... I believe there were some left in the treatment room, Officer Bellick... would you be so kind as to bring me what you can? I must not neglect my patients.
- "Captain Bellick..." - he spat the words emphasizing them with a warning look at me.
I swallowed saliva and tried to remain impassive. This was a fight between the strongest, and I was getting caught up in it in the most absurd way. Sara didn't even blink. I could tell she was more than used to dealing with male egos every day. That was also part of her job at the prison.
Bellick seemed to relent. He wrinkled his nose and before turning away let out a grunt of annoyance that made me become alert.
Apparently he was one of the top brass at Fox River...second to Warden Pope, to be specific. I couldn't have been more unlucky. My plan to become a shadow wasn't paying off.
- Don't let yourself be humiliated... - the doctor murmured - I know it is difficult and even more so in the situation you are in... stay as calm as possible, but above all... be careful.
My new cellmate introduced herself by holding out her hand to me with a smile.
- Natasha Petrova... Russian by birth... but you can call me Janine, I changed my name when I moved to the United States, with my husband, may he rest in peace.
- Sorry...
- Don't worry... he was one of those bastards that don't exist anymore! - he said with a fuss, angrily dragging his "R's" - according to the judges I killed him... "first degree murder" they said... ha! Bullshit!. She fell down the stairs and broke her neck when he was trying to break mine. But you know how the laws are in this country...they are never going to favor those of us who are right...and even less so if we are foreigners.
She caught her breath after giving me that monologue and giggled when she saw my surprised face. She was a woman in her mid-fifties, a little bit fleshy and with a kind face.
- And you... you don't talk much, do you? Are you Leila? The Spaniard? I remember you from the prison in Oregon, from the cell at the end of the corridor, right? Maddison, maybe? Doesn't sound very local...
- My father was Irish... his surname was the only thing I inherited from him...
Well... and also her eyes... as my mother used to tell me when she got nostalgic. Apparently, they had met in the south of Spain on a trip my father took for work. They fell in love and a few years after I was born we moved to Ireland, to my father's homeland. I was barely six years old when he left for no apparent reason and we never heard from him again. My mother was devastated, and when I turned seventeen, a few months later she died of cancer. She was everything to me... I had no other family, no brothers, no uncles or aunts... I was alone in the world.
I had no idea you knew who I was..." I said surprised.
- Honey... a pretty young girl like you doesn't go unnoticed easily, especially in a place like this. Being pretty in a prison full of men is a curse. I think you should do something about it.
That same day instead of going out to the courtyard I went to the hairdresser's area where they cut my hair above my shoulders.
I sighed as I looked at myself in the mirror with a frown on my face... there was little else I could do...
I sat on one of the bleachers in the courtyard at a safe distance from where most of the male prisoners were concentrated. Some were doing weights, others were playing cards, and another small percentage was staring into the void or simply walking around longing for a life outside those walls.
I zipped up my jacket to my chin and although it wasn't too cold, my body was shivering from being on alert for so long. It had rained in the morning, the sky was overcast and it was unusually calm. Since the riot that had occurred a few weeks ago, all the prisoners had been trying to keep a low profile because of the consequences. I had heard about it at lunchtime. It seemed that one of the new guards had been killed, and they were looking for the culprit. Dr. Tancredi was also involved. It seemed incredible to me that she still had the strength and especially the will to work at Fox River after that.
- Hey Gipsy!
My old cellmate, Lupe Duarte, the Mexican girl, greeted me by raising her arm a few feet away. Gipsy, la morenita... that was my nickname... in a prison if you didn't have one you were nobody.
I smiled at her with a nod of my head and she walked past me. I had only seen her once in the module since the fire in Oregon. Now she was accompanied by another woman and a guy with dark curly hair and an arm full of tattoos. I would later find out that, as luck would have it, he was her second cousin.
Right after that, two bleachers down from my bench, sat a sad-eyed blond boy with one of the sleeves of his T-shirt folded over his shoulders. He tried to make conversation with me. He introduced himself as David Apolskis (aka Tweener) and had arrived at Fox River a day before us. He didn't look like a bad guy, but I didn't feel like talking. I needed to be quiet to familiarize myself with the surroundings and most of all... try to get a glimpse of who there was legit, so to speak. If you're alone you're dead... that was the saying. The strong, the weak, the bullies, the smart ones... you had to have intuition to figure out who was calling the shots, who there were leaders...
Interracial struggles were the order of the day, blacks against whites, but always within those two large groups, smaller ones were formed based on common interests. You need, I give... I ask, you give back... that was the maxim in any prison.
A group of men dressed in coveralls came to the other side of the fence and I heard them arguing. I didn't quite understand what they were saying, but apparently they were fed up with being interrupted at work all the time.
- The PI... the Prison Industry - I heard Tweener say - I wish I could work there... anything better than being locked up in a shitty cell all day. I can't complain though... my partner is a very quiet old man. He doesn't talk much... but he's fucked up. He used to have a cat that had been with him in here for many years... but one day she turned up dead, you know. Rumor has it that she was poisoned, and that a guard was responsible. What a bastard!
I turned my attention back to the group of men in the PI. They kept staring all the time at the shed where they had just left a few minutes ago. Apparently it was a guard room they were fixing up after a fire that had broken out the day before.
One of them, tall, shaven and blue-eyed, put his hand to his mouth with a gesture of concern. He was a rather attractive young man, who was totally out of tune with the prison environment.
- Eehhhh Abruzzi! - the strong and unmistakable voice of Captain Bellick pierced the air - come here!
Abruzzi, a man with long, thinning hair and an aquiline nose, pursed his lips in obvious annoyance and approached the guard on the other side of the fence.
John Abruzzi... that's why that last name sounded so familiar...
A capo of the Italian Mafia, he was frequently mentioned in the newspapers. His arrest and subsequent admission to Fox River had been in the public domain.
- I allow you to have certain privileges inside the prison... like running the PI - Bellick stressed between his teeth - but what I won't put up with is that you'll be bumming around day in and day out!
- But boss... we were doing our job... it was the guard Patterson who sent us out.
- Shut up Bagwell! I'm not talking to you - he growled without taking his eyes off Abruzzi.
The man who had spoken, black-haired with receding hairline and goatee, ducked his head slightly, watching Bellick intently. He stuck out the tip of his tongue and twisted it between his teeth with a look that would freeze anyone's blood.
Theodore Bagwell... one of the most dangerous inmates in the prison... and also one of the most cunning. It would be important to keep him in mind.
- Everybody get out of here... I want you in the cells in ten minutes for the head count.
As if summoning him, the shrill wail of the siren was not long in coming and echoed throughout the courtyard. I could see the disappointment on the faces of that group of men.
- Recess is over ladies - Bellick announced with a sneer - everyone go to bed and have sweet dreams.
- Thank you very much doctor... in general it doesn't usually hurt like this... but some months...
- Don't worry... taking this anti-inflammatory in less than an hour you will feel better - he brought me a glass of water and I swallowed the pill with some difficulty - excuse me for asking, but... do you usually have regular periods?
- Normally yes... well... since I've been here not so much...
- Of course... it's normal...
He looked me in the eyes... again that hint of pity... I was not used to it.
As I opened the door to leave the infirmary, I bumped into a body that made me take a couple of steps back.
- Per... excuse me...
- No, excuse me too, I didn't know the doctor was busy with a patient.
- You can come in Michael - she said behind me
I looked up and the boy waiting in the doorway smiled kindly at me. His face looked familiar... he was one of the men who worked in the PI, in the guard room.
Dr. Tancredi treated him with great confidence, as if they were friends. My intuition told me that he was a good person. What would he have done to end up locked up here?
I left the infirmary and looked around for the prison officer who was to escort me to the female module. I did not like to stay there for a long time. I felt out of place, always being watched... as if I were doing something wrong. I saw the woman a few meters away talking to one of the guards, laughing sheepishly, while he subtly brushed her shoulder with his hand.
I sighed... I was envious to know that they could have a life outside, beyond Fox River. Dining in a restaurant, going to the theater, sleeping in your own bed without any fear... all of that seemed so far away...
I put my hand on my belly to warm myself up a little. That pill worked miracles.
- Does your tummy hurt, honey...?
I steeled myself when I heard Bellick's voice right next to me. I didn't see it coming...normally I walked at a brisk pace, with an attitude as if I owned the place, but this time I was too engrossed fantasizing about a life that was not my own.
- What are you doing out of your cell?
- They let me out to come to the infirmary... I needed some medicine - I tried to remain impassive as I answered.
- Oh...! You're not coming for that famous "after" pill, are you? Some prison escapades perhaps? Now that a few of you have come, these idiots seem to be much more... content...
He looked up, observing the female officer very amused talking to the other guard, and smiled mischievously. She still had some room to continue torturing me psychologically.
- You dead flies with pretty faces don't fool me anymore... I've seen your file, Leila Maddison... - he lowered his voice almost to a whisper - drug trafficking, prostitution, and membership in a criminal organization... unbelievable! - he hissed - that's what we call here "the triplet". How good it smells of easy money, doesn't it?
Evidently I didn't answer... I bit my tongue so hard that I hurt myself. Was it so hard to leave me alone?
The female officer arrived just at that moment. She nodded to Bellick and told him she would take care of me. I never wanted to go back to my cell so badly. I felt her eyes on my back.
With the back of my hand I wiped away the beads of sweat that soaked my forehead. I folded the sheet as best I could and carefully spread it over the press we used to iron several garments at once. I cranked the handle and a block of iron slowly descended until it touched the clothes. The hot steam enveloped my face. I was really exhausted. I had been in the laundry for more than five hours and I could barely stand up. But it was better this way... keeping my mind busy made the days go by faster.
I was actually lucky... when I volunteered to work in the PI I thought they would put me where nobody wanted me... the kitchens...
Now that was horrible. The infernal heat of the pots, the smell of food and the frenetic pace. Here at least I was calmer, and I even stretched my legs while I was delivering the clean clothes to the modules.
I turned around to see if I had finished the wash program I had set an hour ago. There was still a while left. I sighed. I had a dull head from listening to that noise continuously.
The laundry was located in a large industrial-like building with high ceilings and concrete columns that had seen better days.
The work was monotonous, but it was not cold and always smelled clean.
- It's less time for dinner - I heard Manche say while staring at the hands of the clock hanging on the wall - what a day "mano"! I'm starving...
You would think so... that Puerto Rican boy seemed to have enough reserves to survive without food for a month. He shook out one of the jackets we inmates wore and folded it loosely before putting it in the cart where all the clean clothes were stored.
At that moment, I heard a rattling of chains and turned my head toward the exit. A group of inmates dressed in coveralls stopped at the door, which was wide open. They were lined up silently, guarded by an officer. I could tell they were the same men who worked in the PI fixing up the guard room. One of them, a big, broad-shouldered guy, was shackled hand and foot.
Lincoln Burrows... was famous throughout the prison. He was condemned to die in the electric chair for killing the Vice President's brother.
The darkest of them all, he looked towards us and I noticed that he greeted Manche by raising his chin. They seemed to know each other.
- He's my cousin Fernando Sucre - he whispered to me - a good uncle.
I tried not to question it...just doing time in a prison like Fox River seemed contradictory to "being a good guy".
I also recognized the boy I ran into in the infirmary. Michael I thought I remembered. He was going first of all without showing any kind of expression on his graceful face.
He was followed by Theodore Bagwell who was staring at the ceiling with a bored expression, until his gaze met mine. He smiled slowly as he bit his lower lip without any qualms. He let out an expletive when Abruzzi elbowed him hard in the shoulder. I ducked my head at the speed of light.
The thunderous sound of the siren signaling the end of our workday echoed throughout the room.
- Let's go prisoners! Another beautiful day is over! - Roy Geary one of the guards, older and with thinning gray hair, entered the room with a quick step - To your cells! Then you can go to dinner.
Finally! I left the trolley with the clothes well placed in the area provided for it and went to the door where we would wait for another officer to escort us to the modules.
They came for Burrows and took him to his cell in solitary confinement. He was only allowed out in the yard, but separated from the rest of the prisoners, and for a few weeks he had also been allowed to work with the PI. It must have been awful... crammed into a cubicle all day waiting for the time to pass before he was electrocuted to death. Knowing that you have an expiration date.
Undoubtedly all that suffering could be seen on his face...
The line in the dining room moved at a snail's pace. I don't know who was holding it up, but I was barely standing because I was so tired. I propped the tray up to drag it along the metal rail and bent down to tie my boot laces.
- Come on, beautiful! Move your pretty little ass, we want to have dinner!
I snorted and stood up. Being in a prison surrounded by men, we were condemned to listen to similar nonsense every day. It was true that security had been tightened in the common areas where both sexes coincided, but sometimes it was the guards themselves who laughed at them.
When my food was served, I sat down at one of the empty tables. Cauliflower with tomato sauce and cold fish... I wrinkled my nose. Another long and tedious night tossing and turning in bed with my guts roaring. Was it so difficult to make a halfway decent meal?
With a gesture of disgust I looked up the row and saw Lupe. She nodded at me and pointed to the empty chair next to me.
I began to eat reluctantly, but soon after I pushed my plate away, unable to swallow any more. It was better to drink several glasses of water and try to trick my stomach than to eat that.
- Hey, hey eeeehhh! what's the matter with you?!
A high-pitched scream a few meters from my table made me startle. Almost as a reflex action I turned away when I saw Lupe fall at my feet, screaming. Another of the inmates, known by her nickname "the Viper," had pounced on her and they were both lying on the floor struggling angrily. A tangle of insults and hairs prevented me from seeing who was winning.
All the prisoners began to cheer and make a racket. Lupe was snorting, making the greatest effort of her life to get it off her chest.
I instinctively jumped in the middle to try to help her. Blunder. The Viper was a tall woman with long limbs like a praying mantis. We called her that because her eyes were slanted and she painted a stripe so pronounced that they stood out even more. Her wide mouth always with a grimace made her look like a reptile. She was a girl of a confrontational nature, and by the time we were in Oregon she had messed up a few times.
A hard punch in the face knocked me back. I felt my brain swing like a pendulum inside my skull. Between the pain and the bustle that had ensued in just a few seconds I began to see blurry. I saw Lupe struggle to her feet as she covered the area between her shoulder and collarbone with her hand. Bright red blood was dripping through her fingers.
The Viper returned to the charge by brushing a lock of bleached hair away from his sweaty forehead.
- I'm going to kill you! mexican bitch!
Lupe gritted her teeth and, despite her injuries, did not let herself be intimidated.
- I'm not afraid of you! come if you dare! - she shouted angrily. He made an attempt to throw himself on her but some arms stopped him - let go Fernando! I'm going to give this "pendeja" what she deserves!
Fernando Sucre, Manche's cousin, whispered something in her ear that seemed to calm her down a little. Michael stood by her side totally undaunted, not lifting his lips. Between two guards they reduced the Viper and dragged her out of the dining room. Despite the distance she could be heard cursing down the hallway.
- Buff... how the fiery ones turn me on.
T-Bag's tablemates burst out laughing at their leader's comment. I snorted my head off...this was all I needed to end the day...my eye socket was throbbing.
I approached Lupe to check on her and felt a crunch under my foot.
A toothbrush?... with the sharp handle of a toothbrush that crazy woman had stabbed Lupe. I picked it up from the floor and when I looked up, the guard Patterson was staring at me with an undaunted face.
- You and you - he said pointing at both of us - to Warden Pope's office, now!
- Very well ladies... as you understand I will not tolerate any kind of violence within these walls. Perhaps I have always mistakenly thought that women don't often get into altercations with each other... I see I was wrong.
Warden Pope circled around us with his hands behind his back without taking his eyes off us. Although he seemed to be a fair man, and his good reputation preceded him, at that moment his expression denoted total seriousness. Seen from another perspective, the situation might have been comical. Three women sitting in a chair, each one worse than the next. I had a black eye. Lupe's shoulder was bandaged because she had received several stitches, and the Viper, with a distracted gesture, totally oblivious to the conversation. Her scratched face did not convey any kind of concern.
Captain Bellick stood in the corner of the room with his arms folded across his chest. He was trying to hide a smile of disdain. Witnessing the humiliations of others must amuse him. No wonder.
- In view of your behavior tonight, I am forced to send all three of you to solitary confinement for a week. Then they will think twice before they start such an altercation again.
I couldn't believe it! I had done nothing wrong and I had to pay for it unjustly!
I opened my mouth to protest, but my voice was barely a whisper compared to the complaints of the other two. Lupe looked at me sideways and shook her head.
- With all due respect sir... Leila is not to blame for anything... she simply came over to try to help me.
I thanked him inwardly for those words. Being in isolation must have been horrible.
- That's true warden... - Bellick's voice on my side made me open my eyes like saucers - the other guards who were in the dining room can confirm it. The girl had nothing to do with the fight.
I looked at him strangely, why was he sticking up for me, what the hell was he playing at? His face remained impassive.
Warden Pope seemed to think about it...he stared at me as if trying to see through me. I swallowed my breath in anticipation of his decision.
- According to ... - he said. I sighed, relaxing my shoulders - I'll let it go this time. Although I'd hate to see you involved in another such matter again, Miss Maddison.
I nodded several times. I was the first one interested in not standing out inside the prison.
We stood up and before we left the room, two guards appeared to accompany us.
Bellick walked right past me, brushing my arm with his. He paused for a few seconds. I could hear his breathing just above my head. I tried not to make any eye contact with him.
- You owe me one... beautiful...
to be continued