Darcy House Library, Tuesday morning early.
Two weeks' residence in London was not enough time to change Elizabeth's habits. She usually woke hours earlier than anyone but the servants and could be found in her favourite chair in the library.
Elizabeth still struggled with her feelings about their dependence upon the kindness of Anne and Georgie, more so as she felt herself becoming comfortable with the level of luxury of Darcy House.
Safely snuggled in her chair in front of the fire, tea and food on the table in front of her, Elizabeth thought about her future.
"If Jane marries Mr Bingley, he will have to break up his bachelor house. I hope he won't mind that too much. Mary and I could live with Jane and Mr Bingley. I will feel a little better about living off the kindness of a brother but would vastly prefer to be independent."
With her manuscript in the hands of publishers, Elizabeth was free to read something else. She perused the shelves and spotted the small book she had retrieved from the floor on the morning Mr Darcy and Mr Bingley raided the library.
Elizabeth found it was not a published book but rather a journal. About three quarters of the book was filled with writings in a childish hand. Overcoming her incipient guilt at reading someone's journal, Elizabeth flipped through the book reading bits at random. Some of the writings were mundane, some mildly amusing. It seemed this child had a loving but dominant mother and adored her father. There was no indication of the author, but Elizabeth soon realised it was Anne. The last entries in the book related to the time just before and after George Darcy died at Pemberley.
Elizabeth did not feel she could read any more before speaking with Anne and resolved to do so at the first opportunity. She did not have to wait for long.
A full hour before breakfast, Anne walked into the library.
"Anne! Good morning."
"Good morning, Elizabeth! It's early for me, but I haven't been sleeping well, and I need to talk to someone. I think you are the best person. I'll just order more tea." After instructing a footman, Anne sat down in the chair nearest Elizabeth.
"What's on your mind?" asked Elizabeth.
"Everything! This whole thing with the Earl. I am in turmoil trying to understand how he could plot to murder his own nephew, force Georgie and I to marry and steal our inheritances. What must go on in his mind? How or when did he become so evil?"
"I have wondered the same, but I don't think it is possible for a so-called 'ordinary person' to understand a mind that has become controlled by desperation, in this case desperation for money. Is such a mind evil by nature, by circumstance or by habit? If not by nature, at what point does corruption set in? In childhood or later? Is there an inherent weakness of mind?"
"You make a good point. What first allows evil to creep in? Does a life of indulgence and little self-discipline weaken the mind? Uncle has always been a gambler."
Tea arrived, then Elizabeth continued:
"Lots of people gamble. The danger comes when they cannot control the tendency and lose money they cannot replace because they exceed their income. Then they must sell assets, but that doesn't solve the problem. I know of a family in Meryton who lost everything due to excessive gambling."
"It's an insidious thing. The Earl's actions have not just been against his own family. Richard told me that Mr Avery's family was affected, I don't know how, but the Earl managed to steal his inheritance!"
"Mr Avery told me something of his past and implied there would be consequences for the Earl."
"Yes, Mr Avery is out for justice, revenge. He wishes to bring down the Earl and has the means to do so!"
"Does he?"
"Yes, Richard told me that Mr Avery and Mr Bingley hold the Earl's last two mortgages, and he is expected to default any day now."
"No wonder the Earl made such a desperate move! I am grateful the assassin was so incompetent."
"So am I. Elizabeth, you know my health has improved a lot in the last few years. As it improved, I started to remember some of the things I'd lost to the accident and that terrible medicine. But I usually only remember bits and pieces, fragments, then they'd be gone again."
"Do you remember while awake or in dreams?" asked Elizabeth.
"Both. The dreams are the most fragmented and confused, and the most frightening. The past few nights I've had the same dream, of a carriage accident. Unusually it is very clear. Someone is lying on the road. I think it is my father. As I approach, I realise it is Darce and I think he is dead, but then he gets up and speaks, asking me not to forget him. Then he walks away. I look down and Darce is still lying there."
"You have dreamed this since the attempt on his life?"
"Yes. I feel like I have forgotten something significant, something very important. Elizabeth, it makes me wonder what other crimes Uncle Henry has committed."
"Let me tell you what Mr Darcy said before our recent dinner" said Elizabeth and did so.
Anne was amazed and outraged. "Darce knows and Mr Avery confirms that the Earl is a killer, has killed or arranged killings before! He must be stopped, Elizabeth!"
"Bankruptcy and social ruin may stop him and may be all that can be done. It would be very difficult to successfully prosecute an Earl."
"I know, but I am determined to do whatever is possible. This situation and my past helplessness in terms of health and memory have made me so angry and frustrated. I feel like I am not in control of my life."
"Your timing is perfect, Anne. The day Mr Darcy was here gathering books to sell, a small book was left behind on the floor. I picked it up, put it on a shelf and forgot about it. This morning, I spotted it again. It's not a published book but a journal."
Elizabeth hand the small book to Anne. "I had a look through it, read a little bit, enough to realise the writer is a child. I think that child is you. It might help you with your memories. Why don't you have a read of it?"
Anne looked at the journal. "I don't remember it" she said " but I have forgotten so much." Anne opened the journal. "It looks like my writing...Oh" Anne paled and closed the journal. "I am afraid of what it might contain."
"Don't let fear of the unknown stop you, Anne." said Elizabeth gently. "You wanted to talk to me because you were angry and frustrated. This may help you take back some control."
"You are right, Elizabeth" said Anne "I must do this." She made no move to open the book again.
"Would you like me to read it to you? We can talk about it as we go."
"Yes, please do that!" Anne handed the book back to Elizabeth who had a look through it.
"It is not very long. The first part is just everyday stuff. I think I will read from where you are at Pemberley."
Uncle George is unwell. Mother is not happy because Uncle George refused to betroth Fitzwilliam to me. She says it was Aunt Anne's dearest wish but Uncle George says that is nonsense.
I am pleased because I don't want to marry Fitzwilliam. He is so very serious. Richard is much more fun even though he teases all the time. I suppose almost anyone would be better than John or Edmund. They are so repellent. How can Richard be so different to his brothers?
"So, Uncle George is Mr Darcy's father?"
"Yes."
"Your mother really wanted this betrothal? You can't have been very old."
"Ten or so, I suppose. I didn't want to be betrothed to anyone!"
"You describe Fitzwilliam, Mr Darcy, as 'very serious'."
"That's odd. I wouldn't call him serious now."
"John and Edmund were already repellent?"
"Yes they were" Anne smiled.
"You always liked Richard Fitzwilliam?"
"Yes."
"Even as a child you liked him best."
"I did." Anne smiled "It's interesting that I wrote that down. It makes me wonder - how do you know if you really like someone…you know…like Jane likes Mr Bingley?"
"Is that how you feel for the Captain?"
"I don't know. I think so. I have always liked him and now he is back after a few years, and I am older I see him…as an attractive man. I doubt he would like me that way, but I can't help…thinking about him and wondering how to separate real feeling from infatuation."
"When you find someone, I think you know deep down inside, for certain."
"Was it like that for you? At tea I couldn't help hearing you tell Caroline Bingley about that man."
"The man who married another? I fear I might have exaggerated a bit there. He was a friend - we never had any expectations. I wanted to see Miss Bingley's reaction to our lack of dowries. She fulfilled my expectations."
Anne smiled "There may be some resistance to Jane marrying Mr Bingley, you think?"
"Yes, but I don't think Mr Bingley will be swayed by his sister's ambitions. I just hope Miss Bingley won't want to live with them."
"I doubt that would be comfortable for Jane."
"No, it must not happen. Back to your question, I don't think I have ever had deep feelings for any gentleman. I confess to a slight infatuation with Mr Darcy, but I doubt it goes beyond his angelic countenance. My feelings for him could only be called infatuation."
Anne laughed "He is beautiful to look at, true, and amusing at times. It is odd that I describe him as serious in the notebook. He has changed."
Elizabeth said "Lacking that deeper feeling personally, I can only talk of my observations of Jane. It took Jane over a week to tell me about her post stop man. For a while after that she would talk about him from time to time, wonder how she might find him. It was all just speculation, there was no way we could get to London with the Gardiners away. She had hope, though, there were still possibilities. It was there in her eyes.
Our father was ill and started getting worse. Jane stopped talking about the post stop man, but I think she still thought of him, to comfort herself, you know. After our father died and Mr Collins arrived and wanted to marry Jane, I saw how the strain affected her. We started our campaign of delay, supported mostly by the need to mourn and the absence of our guardian. Mama was no help whatsoever.
It was a difficult time for us all but particularly for Jane. The light in her eyes died a little more each day as she lost hope of a happy outcome. She knew even then that she could never be happy without Mr Bingley."
"She was so fortunate, to find him in the most unexpected of places."
"Yes, at the time Jane said she needed to get to know him, but I don't think there was any doubt in her mind - he was the one."
"I feel that way about Richard but even if he returned my feelings, I doubt he would offer for me."
"Why ever not?"
"He would hate to be seen as a fortune hunter or to be anything like his father and brothers."
"Ironical. Jane has too little dowry, according to the likes of Miss Bingley at least, but you have too much!"
"Yes, I do."
"Why is there such an estrangement between Captain Fitzwilliam and his father and brothers?"
"I don't know. Maybe just because he has always been so different to them."
"He does look different to his brothers."
"and he behaves differently. "
"Shall I read more?"
"Please do."