Chapter 6: The Light of Despair

"397, 398… huff… 399… 400!" I gasped, finally letting my aching arms drop to my sides. The grey orb landed with a satisfying thud, and I leaned against a nearby tree, trying to catch my breath. "Not bad, Takumi-sama," Tohru chirped, her voice remarkably chipper considering the amount of sweat dripping off my brow. "You finished up everything before the Gorilla and the Fluffball got here."

The clearing was soaked in that nice, warm midday sun, making everything look kind of golden. Tohru's barrier was doing its thing, making the air shimmer like when you see heat waves coming off the road on a hot day. It wasn't like a solid wall or anything, just this weird, wobbly effect, and it broke the sunlight up into a bunch of tiny rainbows that danced all over the grass.

Big, old pine trees were hanging around the edges of the clearing, their branches all twisted and gnarled, and their needles made a soft, springy carpet on the ground. The air smelled like pine and that fresh, earthy smell after it rains, with a little bit of a breeze whispering through the leaves and the sound of a stream babbling somewhere nearby. Little patches of wildflowers were scattered around, bright pops of purple and yellow, swaying in the breeze. It was a pretty chill spot, all things considered.

I chuckled weakly. "You know, Tohru, Musashi-san might fillet you for that charming nickname."

"She can try," Tohru replied nonchalantly, her golden eyes gleaming with amusement.

"TAKUMII!"

"Speak of the devil… or is that too accurate now?" I muttered under my breath.

Right on cue, Musashi and Kunou stepped through Tohru's newly erected barrier. She'd given them permission to enter after that… eventful introduction a couple of weeks ago.

The little Furball, Kunou, tackled me with the force of a tiny, furry missile, announcing her presence with a high-pitched war cry that consisted solely of my name. I caught her mid-air, and she dissolved into a fit of giggles before wrinkling her nose and declaring that I stank (again). Then, more giggles. It was a vicious cycle of adorable insults.

Musashi strolled up with that relaxed smile she'd been sporting more frequently lately. The one that made her look less like a legendary swordswoman and more like… well, a friend. She'd even confided in me about her desire to serve a lord she could truly dedicate her swords to. That same day, she'd been showing me Touki, that life-force energy thing, and how it worked. Apparently, most people trained their whole lives just to reach the starting point. I thought back to that lesson, the way her touki had pulsed with contained power.

Flashback:

"How many years did it take you?" I'd asked, genuinely curious. "Like, twenty?"

That's when the chaos erupted. Kunou and Tohru had burst into laughter, as if I'd just said the dumbest thing imaginable.

"It can't be thirty… forty?!" I'd pressed, my confusion growing.

At this point, the two non-humans were practically doubled over, tears streaming down their faces, while the silver-haired samurai stood stiffly, a distinctly annoyed expression on her face.

"How old do you think I am?!" she'd demanded, her voice tight.

"Uhh, I don't know! Tohru said you can't really judge people in the supernatural world based on looks, generally," I'd stammered, trying to backtrack.

"I'm sixteen, asshole!" she'd shouted, punctuating her statement with a particularly rude one-fingered gesture.

"No way!" My surprised reply hadn't exactly improved the situation.

"The hell does that mean?!"

"No no! Stop! Don't keep pulling out your swords! I just meant it's crazy how strong you are when we're the same age! I mean, my only frame of reference is Tohru… and she's a dragon."

"Hey!" the dragon in question had piped up, finally catching her breath. "I'm the same age too. So what is that supposed to mean?!"

At this, the laughter had died down, and a collective silence had fallen over the clearing. Me, Musashi, and even the normally giggling Kunou had all turned to stare at Tohru in utter disbelief.

"No way…"

Not wanting the last refuges of common sense to wither away, I looked at the fox child and prayed she didn't say she was older than me. "Kunou…" I said with held breath, but the girl just looked back to my and giggled

"I'm eleven!"

"Oh thank God!" I don't think I could have handled being younger than the literal child.

I remembered that day clearly. Musashi, despite her initial annoyance, had eventually relented and given me a basic rundown of touki. She'd explained how it was life force made manifest, a source of power that could amplify strength, speed, and even defensive capabilities. Tohru, however, had remained strangely quiet during the explanation, her golden eyes flickering with a pensiveness that was unusual for her.

"It's… impressive," Tohru had conceded, her voice hesitant. "But I don't think it's a good avenue of strength for you, Takumi-sama."

Her words had been a strange mix of warning and concern, but Musashi had brushed them off. "Everyone has their own path to power," she'd said with a shrug. "If he wants to try, what's the harm?"

Flashback end

A fond smile tugged at my lips just thinking about that day. "Hey, Musashi," I greeted her, trying to sound casual despite the slight tremor in my voice.

"Yo," she returned, offering a lazy two-fingered salute.

"Since Scaley, over here," Musashi said, gesturing towards Tohru, who was currently entertaining Kunou with gravity-defying tosses, "doesn't have that evil fly swatter out, even though Charlie is on the ground, that must mean you finished up the weight routine? If so, it's my turn for a sparring session, and the weirdos in Yasaka-sama's court have got me needing to blow off some steam." She cracked her knuckles, the sound echoing ominously through the clearing.

I swallowed hard, a bead of sweat trickling down my temple. Suddenly, more weight lifting didn't sound half bad. Anything to avoid another round of getting my butt handed to me by a teenage swordswoman. And yes, they had indeed named the magical orb "Charlie." Don't ask.

"By the way," Musashi said, her voice softening as she stretched, "how's your mom handling all of this? I know it can't be easy on her."

I paused, the image of Mom's distant, almost haunted expression flashing through my mind. The ache in my chest, the constant reminder of my fading health, intensified. I also briefly calculated my chances of escape if I just turned and ran. Not great, considering Musashi could probably outrun a speeding bullet.

"She… she's been kind of weird lately, actually," I replied, a frown creasing my brow. "Normally, she's really fussy and won't let me go out much, but ever since Tohru showed up, she's been less and less talkative. And when I say I'm going out, she doesn't even try to stop me like she used to. She just… has this sad smile all the time now."

"AHAHAHAHHA!" While Musashi and I were having our pre-sparring conversation and I was mentally composing my will, Tohru was apparently entertaining Kunou by tossing the giggling princess dozens of feet into the air and then catching her with ridiculous precision. Musashi, clearly desensitized to their chaotic antics by now, barely glanced their way.

"Have you spoken to her about it?" Musashi asked, her voice laced with genuine concern.

"Of course, I have! She's my mother," I replied, a sigh escaping my lips. "But she just tells me that she's sorry and that she should've just had me find out earlier. I think she's talking about the supernatural stuff, but whenever I ask, she just clams up, saying she's sorry. Honestly, being home with her is rough right now…" The frustration I felt at my inability to get through to her, coupled with the constant pain in my body, made me clench my fists. I needed to focus on something else, something I could actually control.

I shook my head, cutting off the conversation. "Alright, talking about this won't solve anything. Let's do something more productive… even if it might kill me." I took a stance, the familiar weight of the obsidian belt settling around my waist as I activated my Sacred Gear.

Musashi still wore a worried frown, but when I remained stubbornly focused on the impending sparring session, she relented, forcing a chuckle to lighten the mood. "Never met someone so eager to get sliced up," she said, drawing one of her katana with a fluid grace that was both beautiful and terrifying, the blade catching the sunlight, "but I'm sure Tohru-san can patch you back together if I accidentally lop something off."

I made the first move, which was definitely not my usual style. I guess the whole "impending doom" thing was making me a little reckless. "Let's even the odds a little," I grunted, managing to graze her arm as she hopped back. "COLLAPSE!"

The booming voice from the belt filled the clearing, and I caught a flicker of surprise, then interest, on Musashi's face as she landed with significantly more force than a simple hop should allow. Meanwhile, the surge of strength and the delightful side-effect of increased aggression from my Sacred Gear coursed through my veins.

Musashi, clearly understanding my strategy, met my gaze with a fearless smile. "Maybe today's session won't be so boring after all," she purred, her voice laced with anticipation as she swung her katana. The doubled gravity on her body didn't seem to have any discernible effect on her form, her movements as fluid and precise as ever.

I let the aggressive instincts fueled by the Sacred Gear take over, a primal urge to close the distance and overwhelm my opponent. I charged towards Musashi, mindful of my embarrassingly short reach compared to her sword, but throwing caution to the wind. My goal in these fights wasn't some delusional fantasy of actually winning – that was clearly in the realm of the impossible. It was simply to land as many stacks of "Collapse" as possible within my limited timeframe.

I fought dirty. I used every cheap trick in my arsenal to try and land a touch. I feinted, I tripped, I even resorted to throwing dirt in her face, a desperate attempt to blind her. All of it was met with an elegant, almost playful, series of dodges from Musashi, a wide, excited smile plastered on her face. She seemed to be enjoying this far too much.

My mind briefly flickered back to our short, intense lesson on touki. The life force of… well, everything, but harnessed and weaponized. For a while now, ever since I started pushing myself with the training, I'd been feeling this strange warmth deep in my core. And from what Musashi had said about her own experiences, maybe… just maybe that was my touki stirring. The thought sparked a wild, exhilarating, and terrifying idea. If touki was life force, and my life force was already… compromised, what would happen if I tried to force it out?

Seeing how her touki allowed her to treat me like a toddler, I wanted to see if I could reach those same heights. We were the same age, after all. So, I decided to try and pull it out from my core.

"Okay then. How about I match your touki?" I shouted, a manic grin spreading across my face as I dug internally, trying to coax my own life force to the surface.

"Uhh, what?" Musashi lowered her guard slightly, her brow furrowed in confusion. "You don't have any, though…"

I just smiled wider and pulled even harder on that inner heat, holding my stance, fist raised to defend my face, but focused entirely inwards. The ease with which the energy moved once I truly focused surprised me. It instantly surged to every part of my body… then outward.

Golden light erupted from every pore of my being, warm and beautiful, almost blinding. I heard Musashi and Kunou gasp and flinch away from the sudden radiance.

"See? I told you I'm a freaking g—"

But then, the most excruciating pain I have ever experienced slammed into me from every direction. It felt like being electrocuted, frozen, and burned alive all at the same time.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I could hear my own screams echoing in my head, but I couldn't even register that it was me screaming.

Pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain

And then… nothing.

AN: Sorry about the multiple alerts. half of the Chapter was deleted for some reason.