Well, another idea has come to me. Now, let me just make one thing clear, I know that the Alpha legion is very much capable of making actually well thought out plans but well, that is not as fun as making fun of their ''Haha, it works cause we are the Alpha legion, no explanation or reason required'' plans.
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Voldemort grinned as he took a look across the grounds outside of Hogwarts. Everywhere he looked he could see the students being driven back by his loyal servants, victory was soon to be his. And indeed it was, not long after he and his faithful death eaters had pushed the defenders back towards the entrance of the great hall where they had chosen to commit to a last stand, Voldemort almost pitied them, almost.
With a casual flick of his wand, the door exploded and they stormed into the great hall, what was left of the defenders was a mess. He saw that the friends of the annoying Potter boy were still alive. This was good, at least he could kill them since the young boy had eluded his grasp by running like the coward he was. With a smirk, he turned his head to one of his most loyal followers.
''Do be a dear and get them for me Proditor will you?''
Sure, his name was very strange and he was so massive that Voldemort was sure he was a half-giant but the man was competent and definitely loyal so he choose to overlook this. But despite his orders, the man did not move. Just as he was about to sternly inquire as to why his servant had chosen to not obey him he heard a silent chuckle, slowly growing louder until it reached full-blown out laughter.
Before he could ask what the hell he was thought he was doing Proditor threw back his hood he was always wearing that covered his whole face, yet another of his servants' unique non-suspicious quirks. With a burst of triumphant laughter, the newly revealed man bellowed.
''FOOL, YOU THOUGHT I WAS YOUR LOYAL FOLLOWER BUT IT WAS I, ALPHARIUS ALL ALONG!''
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''Who?''
Voldemort completely and utter lack of knowledge regarding the man's identity did nothing to hamper is mood.
''YOU PLAYED RIGHT INTO MY HANDS FOOLISH MORTAL!''
Seeing how he couldn't hope to argue with this obviously insane man, who shockingly turned out to not be loyal after all and to confused by the whole situation to think of just trying to kill him (for all the good it would have done) Voldemort decided to just go along with the Alphariuses madness.
''How so?''
Alpharius crossed his arms before his chest and formed the smuggest smile Voldemort had ever seen, and he had been a fucking Slytherin for merlin's sake.
''You see, while you so foolishly focused our efforts on this pitiful resistance, I did steal all of your soul vessels.''
''YOU DID WHAT?''
Obviously reveling in Voldemort shock and anger the giant revealed the next step of his master plan.
''AND SWITCHED ALL OF THEIR POSITIONS WITH EACH OTHER!''
''HOW DARE... wait, so they are still there just that each of them is now at the location of another?''
Somehow Alphariuses smirk grew even smugger.
''Indeed they are foolish mortal''
Voldemort just blinked, multiple times, it took almost a whole minute before he managed to form a coherent sentence again.
''... But why?''
Alpharius just looked at him as if he was a particularly stupid dog.
''Your mortal mind could never hope to understand the genius of the Alpha Legion.''
Slowly Voldemort remembered that he was in fact a mass-murdering dark Lord and was just about to remind everyone of that fact when the man suddenly pointed behind Voldemort in shock.
''LOOK AT THAT, A NEW NOSE!''
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Once again Voldemort's brain simply short-circuited and he could only stare in shock as Alpharius ran away out of the castle onto the castle grounds yelling.
''FOOL, IT WAS ACTUALLY ME OMEGON.''
It took minutes until the first person, managed to get their bearing again, it was that annoying weasel.
''So, am I the only one that thinks he looked a bit like Harry.''
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Ah yes, once again you behold the beauty of the lowest level of comedy one can reach. I am honestly not sure whatsoever if this chapter is actually funny and if it isn't please do tell me, I will then try to make the comedy a bit less painfully bad.