the thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break
by Rose Thorne
Disclaimer: I don't own mdzs characters.
While his husband and son sleep, Lan Wangji tidies the alcove, putting anything unnecessary into a qiankun pouch for storage. While true cleaning would be more involved, with walls and ceiling stone and the floor dirt-covered stone it is impractical at best. He then settles with another bundle of Wei Ying's notes, deciphering the messy tangles of thought in rather the same way he tidies Wei Ying's oft-tangled hair.
He knows Wen Qing expects that he stay close to support Wei Ying, and he's rather relieved to have an excuse not to need to be present as Jin Zixuan is shown the evidence of his sect's crimes, as well as the reasons Wei Ying wields resentful energy. Jiang Yanli's husband is an honorable man, and will no doubt respond favorably, but he doesn't want to see pity for Wei Ying, or have it directed somehow at him, as though his marriage and Wei Ying himself are somehow lesser for his husband's suffering. It may well be different; he was stationed elsewhere during the war and thus has little personal knowledge of the Jin heir, but he well remembers the many slights against Wei Ying by ranking members of the Jin sect.
Lan Wangji knows the reactions—the way people look at him differently and Wei Ying's own swirled mess of emotions about the decision to give Jiang Wanyin his core, is likely why his husband kept it secret. He can't regret urging him to tell his brother, though, not with Wei Ying looking physically healthier than he has the entire time he's been here, and that transformation in part because of it, but he wishes others would see Wei Ying for the wonder, the genius he is.
Wei Ying is the first to stir, snuffling a bit in his sleep, and Lan Wangji waits quietly for him to fully wake. When he does, his eyes search the alcove before settling on him, and Lan Wangji is pleased that his husband relaxes upon seeing him.
"You're probably the only person who could decipher my terrible calligraphy," Wei Ying says after a moment, his voice fond. "Even me—I think I've finished more of my projects because you rewrite my notes!"
While Wei Ying is correct, Lan Wangji knows he is distracting himself from A-Yuan from the way he glances at the boy, as though afraid they might wake him, and afraid that he'll still be terrified when he wakes. In truth, he is as well, and he's not certain they have the ability to help their son, short of simply being with him and helping him feel safe. Wei Qing, being a healer, may have more expertise to share later.
"You no longer fail to sleep and forget to eat. You needed balance," Lan Wangji responds, allowing the distraction for the moment, "and I am happy to help my husband in any way."
Wei Ying blushes, and he realizes his husband has caught on to his ploy of tiring him with sex to ensure he sleeps.
He is very happy to help him with that, to be fair, even if it wasn't what he meant this time.
"You bully," he murmurs, his face flushed fetchingly and what Lan Wangji hears is 'I love you.'
He can see there are things Wei Ying can never bring himself to say, too affected by sentiment, but he knows anyway. Lan Wangji knows his husband likes to be cared for, that for him physical acts of affection are important, though the words are too much. He knows Wei Ying also likes to show love in this way, giving him what trinkets he can make himself, such as the carved bunny guan, but also with the nontraditional dowry of his talisman inventions, wanting him to feel his worth equivalent to Xiongzhang's gift of money.
When Wei Ying beckons, Lan Wangji is happy to set aside the work he has done and join him and their son, aware that A-Yuan will likely be fragile when he wakes, that their presence may help him feel safe. Neither of them know how the boy will react, given his earlier terrified meltdown, or whether he can handle the sight of Jin Zixuan even without the zhushazhi.
In truth, Wei Ying also likely needs him, already frazzled as he was with being bared as he was, not only to those visiting the Burial Mounds, but also to all of the jianghu through the yuefu.
Lan Wangji can offer little more than his presence to his husband and son, and hopefully that is enough.
A-Yuan murmurs unintelligibly when Lan Wangji joins them, sandwiching him between them, his sleep momentarily disturbed by the movement, but he doesn't stir immediately. While they wait, Wei Ying leans his head against his husband's chest and whisper-babbles about new ideas for inventions, distracting himself as best he can, and Lan Wangji is happy to listen.
Eventually their son wakes, letting out a sound of protest at leaving slumber and burrowing adorably into the area between them. He flails as he wakes enough to remember the circumstances under which he fell asleep, crying about the bad man.
"I'm here, Baobei, you're safe, I promise," Wei Ying murmurs, stroking his hair comfortingly. "And your baba won't let anything happen either. That's Guma's husband, remember, the good one I told you about?"
The look A-Yuan gives them is full of doubt, and then he scrambles toward the end of the bed.
"Guma and Popo and Gugu and Bobo—" he rambles, clearly afraid for their safety before pitching off the bed, kept from hitting the hard floor only by Lan Wangji's quick reflexes.
"Bobo will protect them, and Qing-jie has needles," Wei Ying tells him, not able to help an involuntary shudder. "No one can beat her and her needles, and I pity the fool who tries."
A-Yuan still looks uncertain, and Lan Wangji lifts him into his arms.
"We will join everyone shortly, after we straighten your clothing and hair, and you will see they are safe, A-Yuan," he says, keeping his tone calm and measured.
The boy considers that before nodding—he still looks worried, but he allows them to tidy his hair and put him in new robes, these more formal than the disciple robes, more ornate in a way that seems appropriate for the sworn siblinghood that will hopefully occur.
"He listens to you more than me!" Wei Ying exclaims, looking oddly delighted.
Wei Ying nearly leaves the alcove in his underrobes, stopped only by Lan Wangji, and they find his prior robes marred by snot from A-Yuan's earlier meltdown. His husband points out he is also similarly afflicted, and they both change, Lan Wangji donning a soft blue robe from the qiankun pouch Xiongzhang brought, while Wei Ying selects another robe Jiang Wanyin sent from his wardrobe, a black robe with purple accents that make it appear as though it shimmers in the dim light of the cave. They tidy each other's hair, Lan Wangji gently combing Wei Ying's to some semblance of smooth after his nap, A-Yuan helpfully pointing out places it's mussed. Wei Ying sighs when he straightens his crown, and Lan Wangji recognizes that this is a day where the hair sits heavy on his head and he would be more comfortable in a braid.
"I will braid your hair tonight," he murmurs, and Wei Ying pulls him close to share a kiss.
When they rejoin the others in the main hall, they find them all waiting, the positive atmosphere implying Jin Zixuan's answer, and Lan Wangji lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. The swearing of siblinghood will take place shortly, offering Wei Ying and the people here more protection.
A-Yuan hides behind them, peering out at Jin Zixuan suspiciously, and it's clear the man can tell the boy is still frightened of him and is unsure of what to do; were they in Yiling market, he could do as Lan Wangji had and buy him toys, but the Burial Mounds don't offer such luxuries. He would recommend such a recourse, and had no doubt Jin Zixuan would send many toys for A-Yuan if he thought it would help.
Jin Zixuan generally looks overwhelmed, and he's not quite able to look at Wei Ying, which is preferable to looking at him with pity—his husband does not regret giving Jiang Wanyin his jindan, but he doesn't like to be seen as piteous, even as he suffers still.
Nie Huaisang takes it upon himself to greet A-Yuan and give him another fan, distracting him by telling him about the motif, and then he manages to coax the boy to sit near him and his brother, who immediately sets the boy on his lap.
"Wei-xiong, Wei-xiong, your shijie brought her whole wedding banquet for later!" the Nie heir exclaims once A-Yuan is settled, ever the one for distraction.
Jiang Yanli giggles at Wei Ying's incredulous expression.
"It's not the banquet itself, but I cooked the same dishes for all of you so you can celebrate with A-Xuan and me. It just wasn't right without my Xianxian."
Though nothing can make up for missing the wedding, Lan Wangji can see how overcome his husband is by her attempt to bring the wedding feast here to the Burial Mounds.
Jiang Yanli comes to Wei Ying and hugs him, tweaking his nose in a way that makes him laugh.
"Let's do the ceremony, and then you must call me Jiejie," she says. "Wei Qing will be Dajie."
Wei Qing nods in acknowledgement, clearly trying not to smile at their interaction and failing, then tweaks her own brother's nose almost experimentally, laughing as he blinks, startled.
"It will be a chore to look after our collective didimen," she says in a voice of exaggerated long-suffering, and Jiang Yanli giggles.
"And yet a fulfilling one," she adds with a smile, her eyes twinkling even in the dim light. "This meimei will seek to learn from her jiejie."
Wei Qing can't hold back a chuckle, looking surprised at herself, to the amusement of Wei Ying.
"Wangji's sworn siblings are, of course, mine as well," Xiongzhang announces.
To Lan Wangji's surprise and relief, Nie Mingjue agrees.
"A-Sang's as well. You may call me Dage."
"And me, Erge. We cannot speak for A-Yao on the matter..."
An uncomfortable silence falls, the reminder that Jin Guangyao may be complicit in the treatment of the former Wen. Jin Zixuan looks particularly unsettled, and Lan Wangji has the uncomfortable feeling he knows the identity of the smiling man that one of the remnants mentioned as having taken people who never returned. He hopes the man was doing the right thing, but he's learned not to assume the best of people.
Nie Huaisang clears his throat and gestures to the decor, as though to remind them of the reason for their gathering. By this time, the new Wei clan has trickled in to serve as witnesses, tired from their day in the fields but also likely from reliving the trauma of the camps for Jin Zixuan, and there isn't room for concern about Jin Guangyao.
While they no longer need the harvest, the idea of wasting the food was an anathema after going without for so long, and so they would cultivate this crop and discuss the future afterward. The radishes can be given to the needy in Yiling, if nothing else.
When Popo arrives, A-Yuan finally leaves the safety of the back of their robes to run to and cling to her, clearly still affected by his own reliving of trauma. She smiles sadly and sits down with the boy, letting him climb into her lap.
The ceremony is made elegant by the bunting and newly-hung lanterns, otherwise a simple swearing to the heavens and earth to honor and cherish each other as siblings, never to be rent asunder. As they bow, Lan Wangji is filled with relief that they have finally reached this moment, thankful for the protection it grants Wei Ying, the family it gives him.
Afterward Jin Zixuan approaches, his expression troubled. He seems very aware of A-Yuan's eyes on him, staring from Popo's lap as suspiciously as a toddler can manage.
"I will quietly seek records on the disposition of the other remnants, and look for ways to help. I hope A-Yao isn't involved, but he likely feels a debt to our father, though he should have been taken in to begin with. I'll do what I can to find out more."
Wei Ying takes a breath before he responds, aware of how valuable that help will be.
"Just be careful. I don't want Jiejie to become a widow. She… she needs you, too."
Jin Zixuan nods, his expression making it clear he knows what sort of viper pit his sect is. Lan Wangji hopes he can navigate the murky waters successfully.
"A-Li and I have something to ask of you later, privately," he says after a long pause, his eyes seeking his wife, who nods.
Wei Ying looks perplexed at what they might want, but he just nods, and Jin Zixuan takes it as a dismissal.
The conversation is awkward, but Jin Zixuan is earnest and so is Wei Ying, both wanting good outcomes. Given their past interactions, the stilted awkwardness is a welcome change compared to coming to blows.
Jiang Yanli enlists several people to help with bringing out the food, including a massive tureen of lotus root and pork rib soup that only Wei Ning is able to carry. The meal is a combination of the umami richness of Lanling cuisine with the spicy dishes of Yunmeng, and Lan Wangji can't deny the aroma is mouthwatering. He can see from where he stands several dishes hued red that he knows to avoid, but is sure Wei Ying will enjoy, including re gan mian (hot dry noodles). Other dishes include shuijing zhouzi (stewed pork hock), whole Peking duck, and desserts like sweet doufunao (tofu brains) and basi pingguo (toffee apple fritters), among traditional wedding fare like cold jellyfish salad, roast suckling pork, whole steamed fish in soya gravy, peach sweet buns, and hot red bean soup with lotus seeds. Rather than serve the food in courses, Jiang Yanli has set the food out, the hot food on talisman-warmed platters, for people to serve themselves.
"Thank you for bearing witness. It's been a difficult day for the Wei clan, and I believe they should eat first," Jiang Yanli announces.
No one protests, and the refugees do so shyly, nervously, under the eyes of the gentry.
The swearing ceremony and the path to it has impacted them perhaps more than anyone but Wei Ying, Lan Wangji realizes. They've had to reveal their painful experiences, and they have gone from facing certain death, either from malnutrition or an eventual attack, to being tenuously protected via a sworn brotherhood with the sole man who sought to protect them, a home to be found at Lotus Pier in the near future, and full bellies. Given those selfsame sects involved in the brotherhood were complicit in their near-extermination, including himself, allowing them to eat first was the very least they could do.
He wonders if Jiang Yanli has also realized this or if she acts from instinctive kindness.
"Eat with Baba and A-Die," A-Yuan insists, drawing Lan Wangji from his thoughts with a tug to his sleeve.
"She said Wei, and you're still family," Popo explains, taking Wei Ying's arm before turning to Lan Wangji. "And you count, too—you married in."
Lan Wangji can't be certain whether he should be embarrassed as Xiongzhang fails to hold back a chuckle, but he's oddly reminded of his mother's gentle teasing and so he feels only a wave of fondness for his family, old and new, gathered here in a place of death that his husband carved life into.
"To fail to sleep and forget to eat" is a chengyu about being focused on something to the exclusion of all else.
Didimen is the plural of didi.
Yes, there's a reference to Mr. T.
I've been referred to an outpatient long Covid unit, appointment in September because they're packed all the way out. They'll likely work to rule anything else out. But the timeline fits, so I might have an explanation, however unpleasant it may be.
Today is my birthday. I'm 41 now. I had this done yesterday but decided to post it as a birthday gift to myself. In comments, please let me know what you like about this fic.
Glossary:
a-die - dad
baba - dad
baobei - baby
bobo - father's older brother
dajie - eldest sister
didimen - younger brothers
gugu - aunt
guma - father's older sister
jianghu - cultivation world
jie/jiejie - older sister
jindan - golden core
meimei - younger sister
popo - grandmother
shijie - martial older sister
xiong - brother
xiongzhang - older brother
yuefu - a style of poetry
zhushazhi - cinnabar dot on the forehead