Naofumi laid down sleeping in the grass fields of the forest outside of the capital city of Melromarc in a makeshift bed of leaves, but as he felt the rains of sunshine of the morning touch his face, he dreaded what was sure to come, he wished he could wake up from this nightmare, it wasn't even the recent state of his life as he now was disgraced and hated because of that bitch and her fake accusation two days ago, nor the fact that he was going to face the calamity of the waves. No the worst part of it all and that he wished was gone was the-

"Good morning my little ray of sunshine! Ready for another exciting day of adventures?!" An extremely loud voice asked as Naofumi grunted as he went to look at the speaker, he was dressed as a ringleader, sporting a red tuxedo with a gold underside, black collar and bow-tie with white outlines. He wore a white undershirt with two red buttons on it, alongside white gloves and black leggings. Lacking most human features, his head was formed as a pair of dentures with pearly-white teeth and red gums. His eyes, the left one with a green iris and the right one with a blue iris, float inside the jaw. Due to whatever cartoonish nature of his existence, his jaws are expressive, moving as a mouth when speaking, while sometimes with the top row of teeth acting as eyebrows at times. To cap it off, he wore a black top hat and tends to hold a gold-tipped baton depending on the situation.

This was Caine, from what Naofumi understood from the shield's and Caine's own explanation, he was some type of guide, like those in video games meant to help out and accompany any new player, in Naofumi's case it was because he had, in Caine's own words "zero experience about anything that doesn't involve sitting in a chair!" Which Naofumi found it a bit unfair, after all it wasn't his fault that he wasn't like the three other heroes that all knew of this place and how it worked from games they played and that they conveniently all practice stuff like kendo and judo that gave them a notation on how to fight. So not only was he cursed to not being able to damage enemies properly but he was stuck with this guy that only he could see and hear that had almost no understanding of people's thoughts and emotions

"Fuck off" Naofumi responded as he flipped his middle finger at the entity, that barely acknowledge the discontent Naofumi felt towards it

"Now, don't be shy, show me that morning smile!" Caine said as he pointed at Naofumi with his cane, Naofumi response was to send a frown and an growl at the ringleader who didn't seem to understand that he hadn't anything to smile about

"I brew up a pair of new daily quests for you to take in! I'm sure they'll cheer you up!" Caine said excitedly as he popped into existence a scroll with unintelligible language written on it as he began reading it "You're going to love this one! Collect five different colored types of balloon pelts and feed it to the shield for a surprising reward!"

"It wouldn't be by any chance a way to damage my enemies, would it?" Naofumi asked rhetorically as he knew the answer already. What was the use of an inboard magical assistant to his shield if they couldn't bend the rules in their favor "If not, Then what's the point?"

"The point is for you to be entertained and happy while getting stronger! We have a world to save don't we?" Caine said as he went too close to Naofumi's personal bubble to give him a few taps with his elbow, before Naofumi pushed him away

"Grrh, I don't care about this world. I just want to get back home to my normal life and never see your mouthful of a face ever again!" Naofumi shouted at Caine, if there was someone he hated as much as that bitch it was the ringleader. He didn't help him at all, was more impractical and less explanatory than a wall of text, couldn't attack for him and it was always watching him, it literally saw someone enter his room and steal his stuff and made no effort to wake him up because it thought his sleep was more important than a few coins and armor

"Hum... Did you wake up on the wrong side of your bed? I heard that makes humans very grumpy, like you are right now!" Caine said as in his unreasonable mind that was the explanation for Naofumi's behavior, the shield hero just sighed in annoyance

"Just leave me" Naofumi begged in low tone as he felt the forming of a migraine just from this interaction. Caine seemed to finally get through his thick head that the shield hero didn't want him there as he fiddled with his cane a bit while looking to the side

"Alright, I will go and prepare for the next day's adventures" Caine said as he left out a sigh, wondering why it was so hard to interact with humans. He turned to leave and pop out of existence before he remembered something "But before I go... I can't leave you without company! Adventuring isn't as fun while alone!"

"Oh no" Naofumi whispered as he assumed what that teeth for face lunatic was about to do, anything but that thing, that unhinged monster almost ended his life

"Oh Bubble~!" Caine called as he pulled out from his top hat a large, round bubble with sharp teeth constantly displaying a vacant expression. Being a bubble, most of his body is shiny and semi-transparent. His eyes are black dots

"You called, boss?" The creature known simply as Bubbles asked as it looked at Caine. Naofumi hated that thing almost as much as he did Caine, it was the only way the ringleader had to interact with the world, it could talk but it wasn't intelligent in Naofumi's eyes. This thing was the closest thing he had to an actual companion, but not only was it as weak as a balloon monster and died in one hit, it was seemingly able to get him into trouble, like when it attracted a killer bear to Naofumi because the shielder had complained about the local monsters being so pathetic

"Bubble, can you accompany Mr itawani for the day?" Caine asked his loyal companion and disposable servant

"Sure thing!" Bubbles affirmed and with that Caine gave Naofumi a wave of his hand before snapping his fingers and disappearing into nothing

"Kill me..." Naofumi said while placing a hand to his forehead. This was hell, a very unique kind of hell for him to suffer, he questioned what he did to deserve this? Did he kill a sacred plant or animal? Did he commit a crime in his past life and get away with it and was now being punished for it? He could only wonder. Bubble floated to his side and gave him a big lick across his face that perked Naofumi in all the wrong ways

"Yum! Sour cream!"

[author's notes]

I recently watched the new episode of the amazing digital circus, man did it hit my feelings hard.

So I decided to try something a bit different from the norm, where Caine is a digital guide / companion to Naofumi from his status magic. More so fo how Naofumi's patience would be tested by Caine's personality