It was the middle of the night. Where was he? He said he would be back 'Tomorrow'. But tomorrow was already over. He was probably not in a hurry to get back. Done withthe third degree. Although, now that she thought about it, she hadn't really asked him all that much, had she? Maybe she had. But she was sure she did not bring it up. She wanted to ask, start the conversation, but she didn't. He did. Was he a fucking mind reader? It had happened quite a few times now. Where it was almost like he knew, what was going on in her mind, how she was feeling. She would bring it up, but that would mean more questioning.
She was getting rather fed up with all this. Vegeta having doubts about her and Trunks, made her feel like she had to...please him. Not step on his toes. She felt like she had to walk on eggshells. She did not care for it at all. And she decided that it would no longer be that way. She was who she was. Tenacious, annoying...whatever. From now on she would speak her mind. No more holding back. He was tough enough to take it anyway. Probably wouldn't do much for their relationship, but at least she could try and reason with him where Trunks was concerned.
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The woman was back at work. Trunks was nowhere to be seen, neither was her mother. When he focused on his energy though, he could sense him. Probably out for a walk or something.
Vegeta had come back dirty and tired. He showered, put on some blue sweatpants and t-shirt before coming here, to see her. Barely been gone two days, and his eyes already longed to see her. His fingers twitched at the thought of touching her again.
But he came with a heavy feeling in his gut. Kakarot came to see him, to try and persuade him to stay with Bulma and his son. Of course, the idiot had donethe exact opposite. Him wanting Vegeta to be a family with them...made it crystal clear somehow. Vegeta was not cut out for this. He was no kakarot. He didn't want to sense Bulma in his head for the rest of his life. He did not want to live some kind of domesticated, boring life. He was finally free. Free from Frieza's rule. He was a super saiyan, as was his destiny. He could do anything. Go anywhere. Explore the universe. Find battles for him to fight. The universe was his oyster.
She was dressed in blue overalls. Like she had been the very first time they got together. He remembered Frieza pulling the zipper down and putting his filthy hands on her. Then he remembered the dream. Another reason to leave. He could not have that hanging over his head. It was worse than anything he had ever felt. Why would he do that to himself? He had to endure so much in his life. He could finally live without...pain and suffering. Of course, he had enough memories to last him a lifetime. But his own were enough. He could not bear to take on her suffering as well. Or be the person to cause her any more.
"Dammit, fucking...thing...just get in the...damn.." He heard her say. She was on her knees, her upper body inside the generator. When she crawled out, she got up and put her hair in a messy bun. Her hair stuck to her sweaty face. She pulled the zipper down and took the top part of the overalls off. She sighed deeply.
Vegeta could only see the bruise on her face. Almost like the dream had come to life, and she bruised where Frieza had slapped her. He walked over to her. She was only noticing him just now.
"Oh, hey...I started on the.." Her sentence was cut short by Vegeta's lips on hers. She leaned into him immediately. Wrapping her arms around his neck. Why did she have to taste so good? He kept his hands at his side, careful not to touch her, hurt her. What the hell was he doing!? He reluctantly left her lips. His body screaming for more.
"What happened to you?" He asked
"Hm?"
"Your face." He reached out to touch her cheek but changed his mind.
"Oh. Your son happened to my face. Hit me right in the eye, can you believe it?"
Vegeta had a serious look on his face, not catching on to Bulma's light tone.
"Relax, it was an accident. He was just flailing his arms around."
That would explain why he hadn't sensed anything was wrong. She was never in any danger.
He nodded slightly. "You're so...annoyingly weak."
Bulma smiled. "Oh please, it just annoys you because you want me."
"Maybe." He smirked.
Bulma blushed. "If you changed your mind about that..."
Vegeta sighed. His kiss had turned her of their naked bodies in his head. He wasn't sure if they came from her or himself. Why did he kiss her? That was stupid and selfish. "No woman. It's not happening. I do recall you saying something about not trying to convince me otherwise."
"Don't act like I'm the one without any self-control. You kissed me."
"I shouldn't have done that."
"Whatever."
She was mad.
"You do realize I say no to you for your benefit?" He asked.
"I think you're full of shit."
"Excuse me?"
"You're afraid...sleeping with me will make you want to stay."
Well, in all fairness, she did have a point. Sleeping with her would only strengthen their bond. Remind him of what he would be was why it was a good thing, that it really was too dangerous. Because he would have given in otherwise.
There was a determination in her eyes. He could sense it too. He wanted to be honest. But telling her he wasn't coming back should probably wait till after she was done with the GR. That was his only ticket out of here.
"You're a good lay woman, but not that good."
She let out an exasperating sigh. "Is that all I am to you? A good lay?"
"No."
She remained silent. Wanting him to continue.
Vegeta rolled his eyes. "I seem to have a higher tolerance for you than I do for anyone else."
"That's it?"
"Dammit woman, what do you want from me?"
"Just...to be real for a moment. For my sanity. So, I know it's not all in my head."
Vegeta looked down. Unsure of how to proceed. She did deserve the truth. But that also meant telling her that despite his feelings, he would not come back. If she wouldn't fix his spaceship and GR after that...
His eyes met hers again. "Fine." He took a deep breath. Saying it out loud was hard for him. "I care. About you, and Trunks. More than I care to ...I can't stay."
His entire body was hit with the force of her emotions. Sadness, anger.
"Why not?"
"It's...many things."
"Tell me...please."
Vegeta swallowed. He felt unwell. "This life...it isn't for me. I would get bored eventually. Do or say something to ...hurt you...to disrupt our relationship. You raised Trunks on your own in the future. You did a fine job without me. I would just mess him up."
It was the best he could do. He could not tell her about the nightmare. That he could feel her everywhere he went. That he was terrified he would never manage to erase her presence from his brain. That the thought of someone hurting her made him insane with rage. That he was inherently different for meeting her. But that it went too far. She was digging herself into his cold black heart, and he had to leave before she arrived at the core and there was no turning back. He would not be himself anymore.
A tear streamed down Bulma's cheek. It was almost like Vegeta could feel it cutting into his own cheek. He felt like he could throw up.
"I am not worth your tears woman."
"You're right. You're not." She roughly wiped it away. "Are you still going to fight the androids?"
"Yes."
"Then get out. I have work to do and I want you gone as soon as possible."
Vegeta turned around and left.
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Three more days passed by. Vegeta had spent it almost entirely away from CC. He could not bear to face Bulmaagain. And he knew for a fact she felt the same way. He had been sick ever since he told her. And so had she. It was like his body told him he had made the wrong choice. His head felt heavy. Cloudy. She was there, of course. Her heartbreak screaming at his brain. He guessed it was because his system had already established her as his mate. And he had cut ties with her. His body disagreed. He did expect it would get worse before it got better. But surely ...it would get better...right? It had to. This actually convinced him he had made the right decision. He would not be a slave to this stupid Saiyan mating ritual bullshit. He did not want a mate, and that was that. He would overcome this with sheer willpower.
He could still feel her clearly. Besides all the emotions he could tell that she was exhausted. Pushing herself way too far. She would pass out any moment now. Her pathetic powerlevel down to almost nothing. Yes, every fiber of his being told him to go to her. But those days were over. No more.
He almost rolled his eyes at what happened next. He should have known. The universe was always cruel to him. It always wanted him to suffer. The woman was having another panic attack. Did she not know by now pushing her body and mind too far was a trigger for her? His body was in agony. Telling him to go to her. "Dammit, this has got to stop! Forget it. She is not important!" He said out loud to try and convince himself, his body.
It was torture. He wasn't sure how long it lasted, but it felt like hours. He was starting to feel better. Which meant that she was too. That was the worst thing. Not his own pain. But knowing she had to go through that alone.
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Bulma was in the shower. She couldn't stand anymore so she was sitting on the floor, back against the tiles. She was being an idiot. Working way too hard. But she had gone temporary insane. Working like some kind of zombie. She couldn't feel her own pain. She kept going like a mindless body, till it turned on her, and she had another panic attack. This time she wasn't sure what had set it off. No particular memory became clear in her mind. There was just...panic...despair.
Afterwards she had a moment of clarity. Trunks. He was all that mattered. She had to be ok. For him. And she would be. That arrogant, stubborn Saiyan would not be her downfall. If she could survive Frieza, she could easily get over him. She still had to get the GR and spaceship ready though. To get rid of him, and to make sure she knew she had done her part when it came to defeating the androids. She wanted to get it done as soon as possible. So, she would have to get some help with Trunks. She hated asking for help. But she needed to get over herself and do it for her son. And her mother, who was also at her wits end.
So, she had picked up the phone and called Chi-chi. She would be happy to take Trunks two days. Bulma figured she'd be done by then. Tomorrow morning Goku would drop by to pick him up. It was the only place she could think of where her boy would be safe as well as the people watching him. Goku and Gohan were strong enough and so sweet with him. Chi-chi was the responsible one. It was perfect. And Trunks would have a blast. She had then gone to her mother to take Trunks from her. She had hugged her close, and told her she would have the next two days to herself. She put Trunks to bed, and managed to drag herself under the shower. There she collapsed with exhaustion and fell apart. She cried. Hard, raw. She allowed herself to let it all out. Frieza, losing her dad, Vegeta. From now on, she might cry for her father, but there would be no more tears because of Frieza or Vegeta.
She barely managed to getup and dry herself off. She put a large t shirt on, it sticking to her still partially wet frame. Then she fell onto her bed. Passing out as soon as her head hit the mattrass.
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"I'm sorry. He made the wrong decision. He should have stayed for Trunks at least." Goku said.
"Yeah, well..."
"You don't look good Bulma. Maybe you should come with me...have some fun, and rest." Goku said.
"I can't. I need to finish this thing." They both looked at the massive spaceship. "Two days is all I need. Then I'll take you up on your offer Goku."
Goku sighed. "I'm not sure you will be ok in two days time to be honest."
"Oh c'mon, it's not that bad."
"I don't think I've ever seen you like this. You sense different too. So much weaker than usual. I feel like you might..."
"Really? I'm not very in tune with my body lately." Bulma said. "Maybe you're right. Another 48 hours working non-stop might be too much. Do you think...you can get me a senzu bean? I hate to waste them, but..."
"It's not wasted on you, but...I'd much rather see you going to sleep and taking care of yourself."
"I will...when this is done...I promise."
"Alright, I'll be right back."
Bulma took the moment to hug and kiss Trunks goodbye, knowing she would have to miss him for two days. "Your uncle's instant transmission sure is handy, huh?"
Barely a minute had passed when Goku was standing in front of her again. "Here you go, Bulma." She took the senzu bean from him and eagerly chewed down. She closed her eyes as she felt it working its magic. Then her eyes shot open asa burst of energy made its way through her body and the clouds that enveloped her mind were gone.
Goku gave her a sweet smile. "There's my Bulma."
"Thanks Goku." She put Trunks in his arms. "Take good care of my baby." She was going to leave when she was stopped by Goku's hand grabbing her arm. He seemed conflicted.
"What's wrong?"
He swallowed. "I went to see Vegeta. After the last time we spoke."
"No, Goku! Why would you do that!?"
"I hoped...to make him see..."He sighed. "I just wanted to help."
"I think you did the opposite."
"So do I. I'm so sorry."
Bulma ran a hand through her hair. She could tell Goku felt really bad.
"It's ok."
"No, it's not. I've been selfish. I felt guilty about...Namek...Frieza coming back to Earth. I wanted to redeem myself. But I made it worse."
"Your heart was in the right place, Goku. Besides, this was always going to happen. And if Vegetareally cared about us, your words wouldn't have mattered to him. He would have chosen to be with us on his own."
"Maybe you're right."
"Of course I am. Please stop carrying that guilt with you. Honestly, it's this kind of stuff that means the most, Goku. Helping me with Trunks. Being an uncle to him. Especially now that we know he won't have a father growing up."
"I will always be here for that. I just...can't help but think...Vegeta would hate it. Me, taking care of his son..."
"Probably, but he gave him up. He has no say in the matter."
Goku nodded.
"Take good care of my boy. I'll call chi-chi when I'm done, ok?"
"Ok." She handed Goku a diaper bag, gave Trunks another kiss and made her way to the GR.
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It was quiet. No lights were on in the house or the lab. The spaceship stood on the lawn, seemingly ready for another trip to space. But how would he be sure it was finished?
Bulma's energy was calm. She was sleeping peacefully. So was Trunks. It seemed cruel to wake them up by firing up the massive engines. He decided to have a look inside.
It was done. She had finished the work. No more tools, nothing was out of place. It looked brand new. Then something caught his eye.
There, hanging over the chair that sat at the controls, was a brand new battle suit. Blue. With white and gold armor. She had asked about it once but he hadn't thought about it since. There was that nasty guilt again. Tugging at his heart. He had downright abandoned them, and she had made this for him. He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve her.
He felt so tired. Tired of his inner struggle. He wanted to take off so badly, feeling like distance would make it easier to stop the turmoil in his mind. But he wasn't sure. Could he just...leave...without saying anything? Without saying goodbye...or thank you...or...sorry...
It didn't matter. There was nothing he could say at this point. He had said plenty the last time. Nothing could make Bulma hurt any less or make it any easier for him to leave them behind. He should go. Now.
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Almost three months later, Bulma had picked up where she left off before she had Trunks. She was back at work. Running the company her father had worked so hard to build. She loved it. Finally, she was finding her way. Before, she had struggled with her father's passing and then with her pregnancy. Then when Trunks was born, she had some trouble combining everything. But now, she was once again, thoroughly enjoying her work. The only real problem she had was finding a good place for Trunks. She couldn't take him to day care, because he was so much stronger than the other kids. She thought about hiring a nanny, but...well...he could hurt the nanny. Her mom did still help out a lot. It did worry her a little, still. But Trunks was so in love with his grandma, she figured it would be ok. Goku would come get him often as well. Chi-chi was more than capable of taking care of Trunks by herself. She had actually really enjoyed her time with him. Bulma wouldn't be surprised if Chi-chi would end up pregnant again. Her little boy stirring up those maternal feelings in her. That would be lovely, a play mate for Trunks that could keep up with him. And she had even taken Trunks to master roshi's place where the old man could watch him with Krillin and Yamcha. She had been unsure at first but Yamcha kept sending her pictures of Trunks, who was clearly having fun. Living at the beach would be fun, of course.
Hiring James to be her assistant was the best decision she could have made for the company. He had worked his ass off. He had asked for her help a while ago. Bulma had promised to get back to him but she never did. Truth be told, she had been focusing too much of her attention on Vegeta at that time. So safe to say, she had not been the best colleague. But James had been a good friend. Not holding anything against her. He did his best to help her return as CEO of a massive company. It was like she had forgotten what an impact CC had on Earth's society. James helped her remember. She had sent him on a much deserved vacation the second Bulma felt comfortable missing him.
It was good to be back. Not just because she missed the work, but it was good for her to be amongst people. To socialize. No one knew about the androids of course. But that was actually nice. During the day she could pretend that everything was ...normal. She could work on new technology with her colleagues, like there would be a future where they could use it. And she hoped with every fiber of her being, that that would be the case.
Yes. During the day it was easy to be positive and outgoing. She would say and do all the right things. Smile, fool around with colleagues.
But at night, alone in her bed, was an entirely different story. Her mind would always go to him. She did not want it to. But it was impossible to ignore his presence in her head. She hated how much she missed him. She hated how much she loved him. She hated that he left them, never to return. But she could not bring herself to hate him. He was such a damaged person. It was never going to work. Sometimes she could make herself believe that it could. Vegeta would always have a place to train. He could take a break from them whenever he needed, a spaceship would always be ready for him to use. Trunks could train with him. And Bulma would invite him in her bed every night.
But for Vegeta, it wasn't enough. Or too much. She knew he had been conflicted. And she was sure he really had given it some thought. It wasn't a simple decision for him to make. But once it was made, it was done. He would not go back on his decision. Bulma knew that.
Her anger with him had subsided a bit. Yes, he hurt her. But he had always been truthful to her. She couldn't stay mad at him for being honest. What they had, was something. It wasn't in her head. But Vegeta would most likely always run from love. She didn't think he would ever have a similar connection with anyone, ever again. She feared she wouldn't either.
The anger that remained, was all for Trunks. She still felt that Vegeta should have taken responsibility for him. But like he himself had pointed out, she would be able to raise Trunks by herself just fine. And she would.
The arrival of the androids was also something that plagued her at night. Vivid dreams where she saw Vegeta and her friends being murdered were frequently waking her up in sweats. The worst ones involved Trunks. Then there was Frieza, who never really went away, but seemed to be losing some of its intensity.
Sometimes her own subconscious would pity her, and it allowed for a nice dream. Of her and Vegeta, in bed.
Bulma was typing away at her computer. On average, one day a week she had to be in the office doing administrative work. James took care of the rest so Bulma could spend her remaining work hours in the lab, where she truly shined.
"Hi, boss. Brought you a coffee from that new place."
"Oh, thanks James! Just what I was craving." She took a sip and glanced at James with a disgusting look on her face.
"Hahahaha, I know right!? It's so bad! Safe to say you're not a fan either." He laughed.
"Haha, wow, they aren't going to last long. And I was so happy to finally have a coffee place so close by."
"I know..." James leaned against the wall of her office casually. Brown spiky hair and blue eyes. He wore a blazer with jeans. He was handsome. Bulma could see herself fall for him, in another life. A life where she had never met a certain Saiyan. Next to him, he was plain. And boring. Which honestly wasn't fair to James at all. He was goodlooking, kind, funny and smart. Any girl would be lucky to have him, really.
"So, uhm...it's my girlfriends birthday tomorrow. She wants to go to dinner with some friends. We have that online meeting...do you think...it would be terrible if I missed it?"
"You have a girlfriend?" Bulma asked.
"Yes." He smiled.
"You never mentioned her before."
He shrugged. "Never came up."
"She must've felt a little neglected...when I needed you here so many hours of the week."
"Yeah, haha, she really did. Which is why I'm asking. It's pretty important we spend some more time together."
"Of course. It's no problem at all. You leave when you have to tomorrow. You can check the notes for any important stuff."
"Thanks, boss."
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Controlling his new super saiyan power had come easier than controlling his mind. He had quite easily managed to make his transformation second nature. It really was like he was always meant to have it. Like he was destined to have it. And soon he would have the chance to test his powers. He looked forward to that.
The woman's energy, presence, was much more difficult to get a hold on. The first time he went to space, the distance had made an impact on its intensity. He would dream of her sometimes, and when she nearly died giving birth, he had felt it. But other than that, it were only his own thoughts that might betray him. This time around, he could still feel her. She was etched into his brain. He could honestly come to terms with the fact the he would always harbor some affectionate feelings for her. That when he was older, he could think fondly of the woman named Bulma, who had almost managed to change him. But to really feel her like this, all the time, was driving him mad. It was like, she had become a part of him. Like she was the little voice in the back of his head, telling him to follow his heart and come back to her. And be a father to Trunks.
He had fought some tough battles in his life. But he would choose a physical fight over this internal struggle any day. This was...vague. He did not know how to get a handle on it.
Vegeta still was determent to beat it though. This would not take over his mind. His character. He was Vegeta. And no one, not even her, would change who he was. No matter what, he would find a way to tune her out.