Chapter 54: A Cool Employee
Important characters
Jessie (Male Tentacool/Ex-Human)
Abra (Male Coffee addict)
"What did I tell you?"
-"It's not fair! Why do nice things have to be so expensive?" The crying Abra presses it's face against the glass of a TM counter. The poor shopkeeper just sorta stands there awkwardly, glancing at his watch every so often. Sorry guy, your shift is far from over.
*sigh* "Look, I doubt the handful of berries I brought with me are gonna be enough to buy a TM. Maybe a cheap one like the old school single use items, but not a Scald TM for sure."
-"But it's not fair!" They continue to fog up the glass with their tears.
"Yeah yeah, let's just go. People are staring."
Thankfully there was another fountain in this shopping center. A bit ostentatious for a department store, but he's not about to start complaining about a free water source.
The trainers however were staring, very intently in fact. A few eye the rare pokemon, Abra, with pokeballs at the ready, but Jessie had good aim. A few broken balls later and even the gutsiest trainers were having second thoughts about having a go at this 'un-catchable' Tentacool and his friend.
-"I'm not leaving until I've had my coffee! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME MOVE!"
"Ugh, don't act like such an old man! We don't have the money for a new move so let's just-"
-"I'D RATHER DIE! You want to leave so bad, you get us the money we need!"
"And how do you suppose I do that? I'm a pokemon! We don't carry money!"
-"Well how do pokemon trainers get money then? Those bastards are FUCKING LOADED! Look at this place, a huge fucking monument to shit you don't need filled with people with too much to spend even if they put it in a sack and used it to bludgeon god. AND THEY KEEP BUYING THIS CRAP ANYWAY!"
"Well that was a harsh reality check... To answer your question, they challenge each other to battles and the winner gets prize money."
-"...Wait, for real? Isn't that just mugging with extra steps?"
"I mean, kinda?"
-"Huh. So mugging then."
"DON'T!"
-"I'M NOT DESPERATE ENOUGH TO START MUGGING KIDS!"
-"Yet."
-"But that does give me an idea~"
"...I don't like that expression, buddy."
"I can't believe I agreed to do this." Jessie bemoaned, writing something in marker on a piece of cardboard Abra found.
-"It'll work! Trust me!"
"Oh I believe it'll work, those kids won't be able to resist it! But I thought I gave up this life! Back before... the incident."
-"Don't care about your backstory. Just try to look tough! We need to put up a strong front to make this shit work!"
Tearing the handmade sign out of Jessie's wet tentacles, he starts holding it above his head and waving it around, calling out to the curious crowd.
-"Come one come all! Test your pokemon's might against the mighty Tentaculus! Most fearsome Tentacool in the Eastern Seas! Just give it a try and you could win big!"
FIGHT ME!
$1,000 PER CHALLENGER!
WINNER TAKES THE POT!
"Ugh, did you have to give me that old nickname? I gave that up back at the last fight ring I participated in."
-"Wait, that was a real story? Huh, you've got bad luck, guy... But fuck you, I need my fix. Come on, we're accepting all challengers!"
A buff looking guy steps up first, sporting a fierce looking Machop. They both glower over the tiny jellyfish, still floating in the fountain with a marker in his hand.
-"A challenger! You may begin the fight on my signal, one, two, OH JUST FUCK EACH OTHER UP ALREADY!"
"..." Jessie breaks open the marker, spraying ink in the Machop's face!
Machop thrashes about, aiming wildly at Jessie who already jumped out of the water.
The trainer gives a command. -"It's behind you! Karate Chop!"
A flying fist slices through the air, cracking through tile with a loud crack! Jessie manages to dodge by aiming a Bubblebeam beneath him and blasting up into the air!
"Heh, pretty cool right? I learned that trick after one too many failed teleports almost landed me over the side of a building!"
-"I SAID I WAS SORRY, ALRIGHT?"
Coming down on the bulky pokemon, Jessie begins it's Wrap attack, locking up it's limbs!
-"Gah, no good Machop. Use Seismic Toss and get rid of that thing!"
Machop tries to get it's arms free, but only manages to further entangle itself. It runs headfirst into a pillar and then, with some coaxing from it's trainer, begins bashing Jessie into it repeatedly!
Forced to let go to avoid further pain, Jessie attempts to get away with another Bubble jet. Unfortunately, Machop manages to get a lucky grab in and takes hold of his tentacle!
"I am not in the mood for another trip so soon!" Swinging him around in a circle, Machop throws Jessie for all it's worth! He sails high over the heads of the onlookers, heading for a glass door!
-"No! My payday!" *bing bong* The door opens and Jessie flies harmlessly through.
-"Phew."
...Jessie returns, flopping on the ground, embarrassed, but otherwise not injured all that much.
"Alright then, guess I ought to stop holding back." Jetting into the air one final time, Jessie rains down a hail of Sharp Sticks using it's Fling attack! Unable to see their trajectory, Machop can only guard itself as best it can before finally being whittled down to nothing. It collapses on the ground unceremoniously.
-"That's it! Machop is defeated! Which means our winner today is the Miraculous Tentaculous!"
"Ah, yeah. It's just Jessie, for anyone out here who speaks pokespeech."
The crowd erupts into a roar of applause at the turnabout victory! The grumpy muscle man slaps a thousand poke into the outstreached hand of Abra, already greedily eyeing up the next competitor.
-"That'll do it! Just a few more wins like that and we'll have that Scald TM in the bag!"
"Yeah sure. Hey, can we teleport over to the pokecenter before the next match? I think I got some screws knocked loose from that toss."
-"No chance in hell! We're not stopping until we get that coffee!"
An angry store employee steps into the middle of the ring of trainers, pointing to a large NO BATTLING sign.
-"Ah... I don't suppose this is enough for that TM?"
Jessie and Abra are forcefully removed from the department store.
"...So about that hospital visit."
*sniffle* -"Arceus fucking damnit..."