Ch. 14

"And that should do it."

Bud sat still as Ratchet removed the diodes from his chest. Looking down, Bud was pleased to see not even the slightest hint of a mark on his skin.

"You know, when I had to get an EKG at NASA, they ripped half the hair off my chest doing that."

"Thankfully, I have some experience in that regard," Ratchet answered. "Teron fur is thick and necessary; altering some of my medical equipment for Miara gave me something of a leg up working with you." Ratchet leaned down, carefully scanning Bud's chest and head once more. "You're clear to leave, Bud."

"Uh, yeah, about that." Bud clutched at the sheet covering his lower body. "I know this may come as a shock to you, Doctor, but we humans generally don't walk around in just our skin."

"I noticed you covered yourselves," Ratchet answered as he tended to Lenny. "Is that for warmth or for protection, given how delicate your skin is?"

"Both. But more than that, we're legally obligated not to go around naked in public."

"I should say not," Lenny groused. "Common decency is what it is!"

"Hmmm. Does it bother you that Cybertronians don't wear cloth clothing on the regular?"

"Nah. It's really only a law for humans," Chad replied. "Plus, with all your different colors, you look like you're dressed."

"But you do have some type of clothing?" Bud asked.

"Autobots of high ranks have certain garments tailored for them," Ratchet explained as he removed the medical diodes from Lenny's chest. "Take Optimus, for example. As the Prime, he has a specially made cape, as do several of his officers. Such decor, though, is reserved for holidays or formal occasions. Other than that, though, we don't bother. And I had to remove your clothing in order to examine you properly."

"We're used to that; human doctors do the same."

"Well, medical necessity aside, I would rather be decent before going anywhere, thank you very much," Lenny insisted as Ratchet finished examining him.

"Wouldn't mind a shower either," Chad added, running a hand through his blond hair. "Amazing how dirty you can feel just laying around."

"Lucky for you, I do have a bathing facility here in Med Bay. I can fill some containers with water for you; they'll more tailored for you than our showers. I hope you don't mind using the same soap Miara uses to clean her fur; it should work well for you."

"Actually, we have soap on our ship. The bath would be appreciated though."

"Very well." Ratchet finished checking over Chad. "I'll fill the basins and then fetch supplies from your ship."

"Er, could you possibly put a curtain up around the baths?" Lenny asked.

"If you would prefer."

"We would."

Ratchet nodded and set about his work. Several minutes later, three tubs of steaming water stood in a curtained section of the Med Bay. The medic departed the room to fetch hygiene supplies and clothing from the astronauts' rocket, allowing Bud, Lenny, and Chad to leave their beds at their leisure. Wrapping the sheet around his waist, Bud swung his legs over the side of his bed and rose to his feet. Though he wobbled a bit at first, Bud was relieved that he didn't sway or stumble. His face still ached and his legs were a little stiff, but overall, he felt a lot better. Bud made his way over to the basins, dipping his hand in one to check the water's temperature. Finding it hot, but pleasantly so, Bud allowed the sheet to fall from his body and climbed into the water. Stretching out, Bud felt his sore muscles beginning to loosen and he floated serenely atop the water.

"Oh yeah, my own private hot tub." Lenny had taken his place in the second basin. "Mmmm, I'm asking Dr. Ratchet if I can take one of these back with me too."

"Pretty sure you can get these on Earth." Chad was already lathering away at his hair. "But yeah, I'm leanin' more toward Cybertronian technology myself."

"Chad, what are you putting on your head?"

"Oh, I too Dr. Ratchet's offer on using some of Miara's soap."

"You did what?"

"Hey, if it works. And besides, you saw how shiny Miara's fur is."

"She's an animal."

"No, she's a Teron." Chad rolled his eyes at Lenny. "Besides, you're telling me you've never used your dog's shampoo at least once in your life?"

"Of course not! Why would I? And for that matter, why would you?"

"It keeps the fleas away."

"I don't think they have fleas here!"

"Alright, alright, that's enough!" Bud sighed and sank a little farther down into the hot water. "Lenny, let Chad use whatever soap he wants. And Chad, try not to rub it in Lenny's face if you end up with extra glossy hair."

"I make no promises."

Bud shook his head, but said nothing else as he continued to soak in the tub. He heard the door to the Med Bay slide open and Ratchet's footsteps approached the curtain.

"Will these items suffice? They were all in the same section of your ship I assumed was your grooming chamber."

Bud looked down as Ratchet's metal fingers slid a few items under the curtain. Peering over the edge of his bathtub, Bud saw that the medic had brought a few cakes of soap still wrapped in paper, a bottle of shampoo, hair and tooth brushes, toothpaste, a razor, and three folded uniforms.

"Yes, thank you." Bud was already reaching for soap and the shampoo bottle.

"What about towels?" Lenny asked.

"Towels?"

"To dry off."

"No need. When you've finished bathing, step onto the platform behind you and flick the switch on your left. You'll be dried instantly."

"Really?" Bud glanced behind him at the platform Ratchet had indicated. "Huh, that'll cut down on the time we need to get ready. How long do we have before our meeting with the president?"

"Take the time you need, but the sooner Optimus can meet with your president, the better. We still need to work out how to get you home and with the threat of the Decepticons, that's going to be tricky. But I think Optimus has an idea of how to handle the situation."

"Then we'd better get a move on."

Bud quickly scrubbed his hair and body, relived to feel the sweat and dirt from the past few days leaving his body. Running a hand over his face, Bud ran the razor carefully over his cheeks and chin. Difficult as the task was without a mirror, Bud managed to rid himself of most of his facial stubble without nicking himself and he passed the razor over to Lenny before getting out of the basin. Water streamed from his body as Bud stepped onto the drying platform, but no sooner had Bud turned the machine on than warmth enveloped him and the water was all but sucked away.

"Whoa. Forget the tub, Chad; we need one of these at NASA."

"You sure? Your hair looks ridiculous."

Bud reached up and felt that his clean hair had indeed fluffed out from his scalp. "Yeah, well, that's what a brush is for." Stepping off the platform, Bud located one of the uniforms Ratchet had brought for him. A simple shirt and pants made of flexible spandex, the silver material was a bit tight, but not constricting enough to be a bother. A pair of soft slide-on shoes were included and Bud stepped back out into the Med Bay fully dressed.

"You wouldn't happen to have a sink and a mirror, would you?" he asked as Ratchet knelt down to look at him.

"I have something that might help." Ratchet held out a hand.

"Er, sorry, but I don't see anything."

"No," Ratchet said with a laugh. "Climb up. I'll have to help you."

"Oh." Bud blinked in surprise. "All right." Feeling a bit embarrassed, Bud pulled himself into Ratchet's palm and the medic lifted him a good distance from the ground and walked him over to a counter.

"My sterilizing station should work; it leads right into our drainage system," the medic said, setting Bud gently on the metal surface. "And can you see your reflection over here?" Ratchet pointed to a shiny surface on the wall.

"Yes. And my hair does look ridiculous." Still, Bud was able to brush his hair into a much neater state than before. Brushing his teeth over the massive drain was a bit awkward, but he managed. The absence of water didn't bother Bud either; he and his astronauts were used to water restrictions while in space and Bud was actually happy to have the taste of the minty toothpaste linger in his mouth. Autobot medical care was advanced, sure, but he doubted they knew much about dental care or breath fresheners.

"Finished?"

"Yes, thanks." Bud allowed Ratchet to place him back down on the floor. "At least I look decent enough for a meeting with the president."

"I think your president will just be happy to see you out of bed," Ratchet answered as Lenny and Chad emerged from behind the curtain, both of them already trying to flatten their hair into place. Ratchet helped them both up on the counter so that they could attend to their hair and teeth. Soon enough, all three astronauts stood together and Bud had to admit that yes, Chad's hair did indeed look exceptionally glossy. Thankfully, aside from a rather smug grin, Chad said nothing on the subject and turned his attention to Ratchet as the medic spoke up.

"Right, we're going to communicate with NASA from the main room in our headquarters. You can follow me or, if you'd prefer, I could carry you on my shoulder armor."

"No, we'll walk. We've been laying still for days, so it'll be nice to move around again."

"I'm sure. Still, given your size, stay close to me and try avoid surprising anyone."

"Aren't most of your Autobots used to Miara running around? She's smaller than us." Chad asked as the three astronauts followed Ratchet out of the Med Bay.

"That she is, but Miara has spent her whole life here on Cybertron. Autobots are accustomed to her, yes, but she is just as accustomed to them. They know how to interact with each other, but no one here is used to humans yet."

"Fair point," Bud said. "C'mon, you two."

Ratchet led the humans into the massive hallway and though he tried to walk slower than usual, the three astronauts did have to almost trot to keep up with him. Still, Bud managed to observe the gleaming metal walls and floors that stretched far above his head with an awed eye. Given how big the Autobots were, it only made sense that their buildings would be bigger.

At least none of the Autobots are bigger than the Empire State Building.

At least, Bud hoped not.

Despite Ratchet's warning, the small group encountered no other Autobots in the hallway. The main room of the headquarters, however, was a different story. From the minute the three astronauts stepped into the room, their eyes were met with at least twenty massive robots of different colors and designs. A hulking red Autobot stood off to the left, his metal body covered in small dents and a heavy piece of artillery strapped across his broad back. Next to him was a silvery robot with a black head and what looked like blue shades covering his eyes. In the middle of the room, Optimus Prime stood towering over a smaller yellow Autobot with tiny horns on the side of his head. Though the yellow Autobot was a good deal smaller than Optimus, he still dwarfed Bud and his men by at least ten feet. One by one, the Autobots turned to stare at the humans, curiosity radiating off of them like heat from a fire.

"Ahh, good morning, my friends." Optimus Prime had turned in their direction. Miara was once again perched on the Autobot leader's shoulder and she waved enthusiastically to the humans as Bud returned the greeting.

"Good morning, Optimus Prime, everyone. Thank you for your hospitality."

"We were glad to help you. Autobots!" Optimus held up a hand. "I would like to introduce you all to Bud Shuckworth, Lenny Shanks, and Chad Showler. They are human astronauts from the planet Earth and we will be helping them return to their planet."

"Hopefully not in that ship of yours." Bud looked up to see a silvery-white robot standing off to the right side of the room. Like Optimus, he had a plate over his mouth, but his accent sounded faintly like that of a native of Brooklyn. The Autobot's blue eyes, framed by a pair of short horizontal horns sprouting from his head, were alight with concern. "No offense to you guys, but how that thing managed to get off the ground, let alone make it through space, was a miracle. You were lucky to survive that crash."

"Hey, our best scientists worked on that rocket for years!" Lenny protested. "And anyway, it was the asteroids that caused us to crash!"

"He's gotta point, Wheeljack," the silver Autobot with shades spoke up, a clear chuckle in his smooth voice. "Even we gotta watch out for debris in the Ark."

"Yeah, well, the Ark was built to withstand an asteroid storm. I saw to that myself. Your ship," Wheeljack turned back to look at the humans, "looked like it had already been through a beating before the asteroids caused you to crash."

"Actually, you're not wrong," Chad admitted. "We had a little run-in with an alien species called Vermicious Knids and let me tell you, those things are vicious."

"What in the name of Primus is a Vermicious Knid?" the hulking red robot asked, his words tinged with a somewhat twangy accent that only barely concealed the gruffness underneath.

"From the information given to us from the humans, Vermicious Knids are a race of organic creatures from a galaxy far from both Cybertron and Earth." Optimus turned his attention to a massive computer screen dangling from the ceiling and tapped on a keyboard set directly under it. Almost immediately, a picture of a Vermicious Knid- supplied to NASA by Willy Wonka- popped up on screen. A hush fell over the Autobos as they stared at the slimy, red-eyed creature in all its egg-shaped glory. On Optimus's shoulder, Miara raised herself up a bit, peering at the picture.

"Its eyes are red," the Teron commented softly.

"Yeah, that thing would fit in with the Decepticons alright," the big red Autobot replied with a scowl. "And I thought Frenzy was an ugly little thing."

"Unfortunately, these Vermicious Knids are just as dangerous as Decepticons to organic creatures," Optimus replied. Reaching up, the Autobot leader plucked Miara from his shoulder and held her close to his chest as he continued,

"These creatures attacked Bud and his crew some time ago in the hopes of consuming you, did they not?"

"They did. We recently launched a hotel into space and we were worried about that blowing up, so we didn't send anyone up with it." Lenny glanced at Wheeljack. "The Space Hotel USA launched successfully, by the way."

"Glad to hear it," Wheeljack replied. "Mind explainin' what a hotel is?"

"A place humans can stay at temporarily, usually when they go on vacation," Chad answered.

"I presume you know what a vacation is?" Lenny added.

"Lenny," Bud warned.

"Vacations on Cybertron are rare these days," the Autobot with the eye shades said in a more solemn tone. "Not many have the opportunity to relax with the threat of Decepticons hangin' over their helms."

"Oh..." Lenny looked abashed. "Sorry about that."

"Eh, no offense taken," the shaded Autobot replied with a shrug. "Just count yourselves lucky you're not in the same situation."

"And you won't be, if we have anything to say on the matter." Optimus was already nodding at the computer screen. "President Gilligrass is coming through. Would you three like to come up here for a better view?' Optimus indicated the counter just below the keyboard.

"That would be better."

Optimus leaned down and held out his left hand, still cradling Mira against him with his right hand. Due to his size, the Autobot leader's had was able to fit all three humans in his palm at once. The other Autobots turned to face the monitor as Optimus allowed the humans and Miara to step down from his hands safely onto the sturdy surface just below the monitor. The little Teron stood upright, her tail resting easily on the counter as she stood beside the humans. Though she was barely half Bud's height, Miara stood just as proudly as the other Autobots as she watched the picture on the screen become clear.

"Good morning, President Gilligrass. I hope we find you well."

"Yes, Optimus Prime, we here at NASA are just fine." President Gilligrass's eyes quickly focused in on the three astronauts. 'Shuckworth, Showler, Shanks! Good to see you back on your feet!"

"Good to be talking to you, Mr. President." Bud saluted his country's leader, Lenny and Chad following suit. "And believe me, we wouldn't be if not for Optimus Prime and his Autobots."

"I'm just glad we were able to help you," Optimus answered, Miara nodding enthusiastically in agreement. "And now we must help you get home. Unfortunately, the situation here on Cybertron has gotten a bit more hazardous."

"How do you mean?" the president asked.

"Jazz? Your report please."

The shaded Autobot stepped forward. "First Lieutenant Jazz at your service. During the previous solar cycle, two Decepticons were seen outside of Iacon's front gates. They made no effort to conceal themselves and while they fired shots in our direction, they did not engage in battle. Rather, they retreated immediately. However, we can confirm that Megatron, leader of the Decepticons, was observing the interaction."

"How can you confirm that, Lieutenent Jazz?" Christopher Calverton asked, his face swimming into view despite the president's annoyance.

"Miara?" Jazz glanced down at the Teron.

"I was able to sense the presence of a Decepticon scout called Laserbeak. He is often utilized by Megatron to spy on us, especially if we are engaged in battle."

"You sensed him?" Vice President Ms. Tibbs asked, her eyes wide. "My goodness, you were out fighting these Decepticons?"

"As I mentioned, Miara is one of our best scouts," Optimus said, a note of pride in his voice as he ran a finger over the Teron's back. "While she is unable to fight a Decepticon directly, there are few who can escape her notice."

"Miara was also the one who first sensed you on Mars," the smaller yellow Autobot said, nodding at the three humans.

"How did you do that, dear?" Ms. Tibbs asked.

"I can feel vibrations in the air." Miara gestured to her long stiff ears. "I sensed your rocket on Mars and even though I couldn't see Laserbeak when Starscream and Thundercracker attacked, I could feel him. Megatron was watching us."

"Bumblebee, please report your findings as well." Optimus nodded at the yellow and aptly named Autobot.

"Miara and I patrolled the perimeter of Iacon during the previous solar cycle. While no other Decepticons approached the gates, other guards reported seeing teams of Decepticon scouts outside of Iacon's gates. As per Miara, Laserbeak was not present."

"So that means Megatron wasn't watching you any longer," Christopher said thoughtfully.

"Thank you, Calverton, I think we all came to that conclusion," President Gilligrass snapped.

"But wouldn't he want to spy on you?" Christopher asked.

"I'm sure Megatron is indeed keeping a close optic on Iacon," Optimus answered. "Bumblebee and Miara also reported in that one of the Decepticon teams seemed to be working quite hard to get our attention."

"Rumble."

"Who?" Lenny glanced over at Miara.

"Rumble; he's a Decepticon who specializes in demolition. He spent several kilks pounding the ground like he was trying to start a quake." Miara rubbed her left ear. "I wouldn't have been able to ignore him if I tried."

"And yet, no attacks." The big red Autobot looked a bit disappointed. "Not yet, anyway."

"No and I don't think they will for a while yet," Optimus said. "Right now, Megatron has the element of surprise on his side and he knows it. But I think there's something we can do to force his servo."

"His... erm, what did you have in mind?" President Gilligrass asked.

"I mentioned our recent scouting mission to the planet you called Mars. Aside from your wounded soldiers, we were able to obtain a good quantity of crystalized minerals that we have managed to convert into energon. Because of this, we have kept Iacon running at full capacity, but even that energon won't last forever. Megatron knows we have energon in the city, but he doesn't know how much we have. Therefore, I propose we power down a good portion of Iacon after sunset."

"Ahh, we're gonna make Megtron think we've run out of energon, then?" the red Autobot asked.

"Exactly, Ironhide. I think if Megatron believes we are starting to run low on energon, he won't resist being able to attack."

"All well and good, but how does that help us?" President Gilligrass asked.

"I think I know," Bud spoke up, looking at the gathered Autobots. "You're thinking that if you can engage the Decepticon in battle and win, they'll be too focused on putting themselves back together to focus on you using a space bridge."

"That is my hope," Optimus answered with a nod. "I know it's a risky plan. We have a good number of civilians inside Iacon already and this plan could put you in danger as well. Therefore," Optimus met Presiden Gilligrass's eyes, "I will only move forward with this plan if you and NASA are fully on board, President Gilligrass."

"I... welll... ahem, er... Shuckworth, what is your opinion on this matter?"

"I have faith in Optimus Prime's plan, sir," Bud answered. "Turning the element of surprise on its head is something our armed forces do all the time."

"Darn straight we do!" The Head of the Army called off screen.

"Hush, you!" Ms. Tibbs snapped back.

"And if you have civilians to protect, I presume you will ensure my men and I will also be kept somewhere safe during this attack?" Bud asked.

"You have my word."

"That's good enough for me. Plus, the sooner the Decepticons are preoccupied with their own problems, the sooner we can get back to Earth."

"And the less chance of them finding out about Earth too," Chad added.

"Then I will sign off on this plan of yours, Optimus Prime," President Gilligrass replied. "When do you think the Decepticons will attack?"

"If I had to hazard a guess, I would say within the next two solar cycles. If Megatron thinks we are running low on energon, he will do what he can to obtain our remaining supply."

"If we can spare any, we should let Megatron or one of the other Decepticons get away with an energon cube or two," Miara said. "If they think that's all we have, they may not bother trying to force their way past Iacon's gates to search for anything else. That would reduce the risk of them obtaining any information about Earth."

"Excellent idea, Miara. Jazz, can you have two energon cubes at the ready?"

"Better than that, Prime; I can fill them with watered down energon. They won't notice till they're back at their base."

"Even better if ya make it look like we were tryin' to hide the cubes," Wheeljack added. "The Decepticons might even mistake it for high quality energon and try to use it to power their ship."

"So long as it gets them away from Iacon long enough to get our friends home." Optimus nodded at President Gilligrass. "As I said, I'm not sure when the Decepticons will attack, but I will do my best to give you daily reports. I only ask that you do not attempt to contact us unless there is an emergency on your end that we must know about. Anything to keep knowledge of your home hidden from Megatron."

"Understood." President Gilligrass sat up a bit straighter. "Is there anything we can send back to you once this is over?"

"The offer is much appreciated, President Gilligrass, but I cannot accept anything that would deprive your planet."

"Oh no, we have plenty of reserves. Perhaps some good quality oil?" At the president's suggestion, many of the Autobots perked up eagerly.

"That would be very much appreciated, President Gilligrass. For now, though, let's focus on ensuring we can get your men safely home."

"Understood. Good luck and Godspeed, Optimus Prime." The screen went blank and Optimus turned to face his fellow Autobots, several of whom were whispering among themselves.

"Missive are to be sent out throughout Iacon today announcing the powering down of at least three major buildings in each sector of the city. The main transport line will also be made unavailable until further notice. Jazz?"

"Yes, Prime?"

"Ensure we have a full rotation of guards at every gate. Draw up a schedule so that everyone gets proper energon rations and recharge."

"Yes, sir."

"A Decepticon attack could come at any time. Ironhide, your crew needs to make sure the civilians are safe and off the streets starting next solar cycle, emergencies notwithstanding."

"Will do."

"Ratchet?"

"Med Bay is stocked and staff will be ready, Optimus."

"Good. In the meantime, let's help Iacon prepare for battle. Energon supplies need to be secured and rations distributed to the civilians. Any non-essential business must be conducted before sunset, no exceptions. Fortify the gates and see to your weapons." Optimus glanced around the room once more. "Roll out, Autobots!"

"Yes, sir!"

Despite their massive sizes, the Autobots were quick on their feet and soon only Optimus and Bumblebee remained in the room alongside Bud, Lenny, Chad, and Miara.

"Right, Bumblebee, Miara, are you ready?"

"Ready for what?" Lenny asked suspiciously.

"This may be our only opportunity to give you a tour of Iacon."

"Really? I'd love to see your city!" Chad exclaimed.

"We'd love to show it to you," Miara answered, her tail wagging. "Iacon's a wonderful place."

"I'm sure, but how do you know Megatron and his Decepticons aren't going to attack today?" Lenny asked.

"I can't know for certain, but I think Megatron wants us to worry for a little while longer. Today might be the only day we can show you around Iacon in relative safety," Optimus told them.

Bud glanced over at his companions and then at Miara. The Teron nodded at him, a huge grin spreading across her furry face. Bud felt a smile of his own steal across his face as he looked back up at Optimus and Bumblebee.

"Let's roll out!"