04: In Soviet Russia, Senpai Finds You!

Alisa Mikhailovna Kujou was angry.

The reason behind her righteous fury was none other than a boy in her class. Earlier in the day she had been teasing Kuze-kun like she usually does, but then getting caught up in the moment, feeling a little bold and a tiny bit reckless, the half-Russian, half-Japanese girl took things a step too far and now the silver haired beauty was incensed with the members of the opposite sex at large, especially high school boys who had only one thing running on their mind and couldn't keep things in their pants.

"Oi, Kujou – ! Stop! Stop! I'm unarmed." He was an upperclassman in the same year as her older sister and at this very moment he had raised both his arms in the air in a show of surrender and compliance. Isshiki-san, the most incompetent member of the entire student council referred to him as simply 'senpai'. Either the girl didn't remember his name or she hadn't bothered to learn it in the first place. Knowing Isshiki-san, Alya chose to think it was the latter. Well, if she couldn't make the effort, then neither would she, Alya decided. He was a man and like she recently found out, all men were pigs.

"You are not unarmed." Alisa spoke coldly. There were a bunch of stationery items kept on top of the table and she had swiped a stapler from the other assorted items. Pity, the first year student thought, she should have gone for the pair of scissors. But no matter, she was at the top of her class. She will make do with what she had at hand. And so the younger woman decided to threaten the upperclassman with the stapler, pointing it at his crotch for good measure. "You are a man. And all men have a crude weapon trapped inside their pants. I'm not taking any chances. Any sudden move and snip!"

The upperclassman considered her for a second. Then: "A stapler doesn't go snip. I don't know if you have covered Onomatopoeia in your lessons yet, but – Hey! No, stop! Don't reach for the scissors!"

Too late. Alisa Mikhailovna Kujou was quite quick with her hands. In the blink of an eye, she had put the stapler back on the table and armed herself with a pair of scissors. Yes, she thought, a pair of scissors was a much better weapon than a stapler. Because really, in a fight, what can you even do with a stapler? It's not like she could staple the man's mouth shut. That was a figure of speech. Although, based on the kind of conversation they were having, maybe the upperclassman with the weird, scary eyes would have preferred it. Men were pigs and pigs were into some pretty weird stuff. And from the looks of it, this upperclassman suffered from the chronic symptoms of foot-in-mouth syndrome.

Alisa liked her chances. She could fix him. With a pair of scissors. "What do you want, senpai? If you are looking for Isshiki-san, she is not here. I'm expecting to meet up with someone very important. Student council business, you understand." No need to tell him the truth. Alisa didn't know him. She owed him nothing, not even a simple explanation. There was also no point in being nice either. She had taken note of how Isshiki-san spoke to him. She was always teasing him, not paying the proper respect he deserved as an upperclassman. Alisa was not in a teasing mood. "So, if you don't mind leaving-!"

He didn't let her finish and spoke over her. "Look, I don't know why you are lying and I don't care. I'm just here to send a message from your older sister. Apparently, she got caught up in some important business and she told me to tell you that she won't be able to meet up with you right now."

Alisa Mikhailovna Kujou listened to what the upperclassman had to say. There was also the way he conveyed the message. He had a weird way with words. Everything from his body language and the way he held himself up and carried himself was telling her that he was a loner, an anti-social person. Not a delinquent, although she cannot be sure for certain. Maybe an otaku. And thinking about otakus made her think about Kuze-kun and she found herself growing flustered.

"You alright?" The upperclassman asked. "You look a bit red in the face. If you are feeling ill, then I can take you to the infirmary. Is that why you wanted to meet up with your older sister? To tell her you were feeling unwell and wanted to rest up or go home?"

Alisa didn't know what to make of him. This upperclassman was a complete weirdo. She had threatened him with a pair of staplers, then a pair of scissors, then she had been incredibly rude to him and he in turn had been rude to her, calling her out on her lies and now he had completely misread the look in her face and there was genuine concern in his eyes and voice. That look in his eyes made him look less scary, made him look less delinquent like.

Alisa decided she liked that look a little bit. "Why do you care? You are Isshiki-san's senpai. Not mine."

What a petty thing to say. Alisa Mikhailovna Kujou had always prided herself on being more mature than her peers. Even though Masha was a year older than her and in her second year of high school, Alisa considered herself more adult than her older sister. She was more responsible, less air-headed and she could handle herself in any sort of situation.

But in this room while she was getting more and more flustered, the young girl came to a dreadful realization. She was jealous of the kind of relation Isshiki-san had with this boy. Isshiki-san teased him mercilessly and they had their own unique kind of banter, but he was always there for her and she was there for him.

When the student council began their current session, there were some arguments regarding whether or not to include the Service Club, which was an unofficial club into the folds of the student council and Isshiki-san had been passionate and feverous to include them, since they helped out the students of their school.

To everyone present, Isshiki-san's reason seemed quite unorthodox, but to the surprise of everyone present, she managed to sway the vote and get them all to agree to have this upperclassman be the liaison from the Service Club and keep them apprised with the requests and activities that they carried out on the behest of the students.

Alisa Mikhailovna Kujou realized she needed someone like him in her life.

Unfortunately, she didn't have one.

"You are an idiot." Rude. No need to rub it in her face. Alisa knew what she didn't have, thank you very much. "You are my kouhai too, you know."

Alisa Mikhailovna Kujou looked at him. The upperclassmen met her eyes and for the first time since their encounter, there was something close to confidence in his body language and their was a note of certainty in his eyes.

Even though his eyes were rotten like a dead fish.

"I want to help you, Kujou." He said earnestly. "Tell me what do you want?"

What did Alisa Mikhailovna Kujou want? Well, she wanted a number of things.

But first things first:

"Um senpai, what is your name?"

-x-x-x-

Author's Note: Okay, so I'm continuing with "Guilty Pleasure" as you guys requested. This chapter is a little bit more romantic than the last one and it focuses on Hikigaya and Alya. I actually wanted to write a new one-shot series where the girls from other series get jealous of Hikigaya and the relationship he has with the OreGairu girls. For example in this chapter Alya got jealous of Isshiki and Hikigaya's relationship. But I don't know, will people be interested in the fic where girls from other series get jealous? If you think it will work, please let me know in the reviews.

Now it's time for some polls –

Poll#1: What Should I Write For The Next One-shot?

Option 1: Hachiman x Shizuka.

Option 2: Hachiman x Yukino – Romantic Fluff.

Option 3: Frieren One-shot

Option 4: Ideas From The Reviews.

Pick accordingly.

Hope everyone enjoyed reading this chapter

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