Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from Kim Possible are all owned by Disney the great and powerful. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Chapter titles from lines in Iolanthe.

He Who Shies

The text from Shego announced, "Standing out front. Lo meins gettin cold. Let mee in."

Kim went downstairs to let the green woman in. "What's that?"

"I'm assuming you mean the six-pack. I didn't know what soda you liked, so I brought beer for me."

"I don't drink beer... And I hope you aren't planning to drive home after drinking those."

"Nah. Since you're not interested I'll have a couple and take the others back with me."

In Kim's apartment Kim asked Shego to take the food from the paper bag and put in on the table in front of the couch. Kim went into the kitchenette for something to drink and chopsticks. Kim's phone, on the couch, rang and Shego noticed the caller ID read "Ron."

"Yo!"

"KP? You okay? How you do on the exam?"

"Kim can't talk with you right now, Doofus, she's kind of tied up."

"Who are you talking to?" Kim called from the kitchen. Shego ignored her.

"Shego? What are you doing–"

Shego laughed, "She's fine. Sort of. I tried to tell her thanks today and she got her nose all out of joint."

"Wait, you tried to say thanks... Is Kim okay?"

"She's fine... In the kitchen, she's... Here she is." Shego handed Kim her phone.

"Ron?"

"Yeah... You're with Shego?"

"Yes. We–"

"You're not on a date, are you? Please tell me you're not on a date with Shego. Even if you are on a date with Shego please tell me you're not."

"I'm not on a date with Shego."

"Are you saying that because you're not, or because I–"

"I'm not on a date with Shego. She messed up my sleep last night–"

Shego announced loudly, "We were in bed together!"

"Kim!"

"We were not in bed. She's messing with your head. She called and needed a favor. I helped her. She sent flowers to me and got my professor mad at me–"

"He's allergic to flowers?"

"He doesn't like a delivery from the florist during the final exam."

"Oh, right. That's why I called. How'd it go?"

"Fine, except the man grading my exam is angry with me."

"And Shego's there now because?"

"I'm not counting the flowers that got me in trouble as thanks. Hey, sorry to cut you off, but Shego just brought me shrimp lo mein – gotta eat it while it's hot. I'll call you back after I get some straight answers from her on what she was thinking."

"You'll call back? After Shego tells you the truth?"

"Yes, I–"

"I'm never going to hear from you again, am I?" Ron asked sadly.

Kim laughed. "Call you tomorrow, for sure."

Shego ate her General Tso's chicken as Kim enthused about the lo mein. "Wow, this is totally great!"

The meal finished Shego provided some tips on the dating app.

"Contact several women, not just one at a time. You don't want to hang around waiting for the one to get back in touch with you while you could be meeting someone who's a better."

"How many meeting requests do you have out at a time?"

"Oh, three or four. You don't want too many at once or you may forget who you contacted – or why. And Woman B may contact you while you're waiting for Women X, Y, and Z to get back to you."

"So... I shouldn't assume anyone I contact will contact me, or want to go out?"

"No, but you never know. Still you can juggle meeting a couple new people at a time. You figured out the public coffee shop all by yourself?"

"I might have, but a friend told me to go that route."

"Much safer... I've heard there are some real bastards – rapists – with fake identities on some sites. Never met one. Worst I've had was a Pentecostal who was going to cure me of liking women by teaching me to speak in tongues."

Kim giggled slightly, "Really?"

"Swear to God, or maybe swear at God."

"Um, personal question. You're looking for casual hook-ups or a real relationship?"

Shego yawned. "I'd love a relationship. But I haven't inspired anyone to look at me that way. Mostly hook-ups." She yawned again. "Hell. If you called and asked for sex I'd probably say yes."

Kim giggled, "I could say the same."

"You'd have sex with me if I asked?"

"No. If I called myself and asked me for sex I might say yes." Kim realized she was too tired to make sense. "Don't try making jokes when you're this tired." She glanced at Shego to tell her she'd better go home. The older woman had fallen asleep. Kim took it as a good sign, Shego wouldn't have heard Kim babbling, and was unlikely to remember the conversation if she had heard it.

"After a couple beers and not enough sleep last night it probably isn't safe to let her try and drive."

Yawning, Kim shifted Shego's position and managed to get the former thief stretched out on the couch. The apartment wasn't cold, but Kim covered her with an over-sized beach towel and staggered into her bedroom.

Kim had every intention of brushing her teeth and putting on pajamas before crawling into bed. But the lack of sleep and emotional exhaustion of the final exam had left her drained. She fell, face forward, onto the mattress and was asleep before she even hit.