Maria woke up in the middle of the night when she heard the clatter of wood. She sat up sharply, blinking in the dark. Had something fallen over? Was there an intruder in the tower? She couldn't see any familiar shames in the darkness. Had Giancarlo...
Then she remembered: she was not on the Island. She was in her childhood room, now turned into a nursery for Massimo and Helena's baby. Maria had been sleeping on the mattress on the floor, and Alberto was in her arms, now awake and whimpering. The window was open, and the sound she'd heard was the wind blowing the shutters against the wall.
Still trembling a bit from her startle, Maria got to her feet and closed the window, sliding the latch into place with a soft whine of rusty metal. Then she sat down again and gathered Alberto up for a hug, reaching under his shirt to rub his back.
"It's okay," she soothed. "It's just the wind. We're warm and safe in here. Uncle Massimo and Auntie Helena are going to look after us." At least, they'd said they would. As long as she managed to keep Alberto's secret, it ought to be all right.
She lay down again, and Alberto curled against her. It was nice to be back in a real building. Maria and Giancarlo had put canvas up at the tower to keep the worst of the weather out, and Giancarlo had always talked about restoring the wall properly someday. He'd never gotten around to it, though, and stormy nights like this had been terrible.
It made Maria wonder what Giancarlo himself was doing right now. He'd probably been back to the Island, and discovered his wife and son were missing. If he looked, he would find their boat in Portorosso's little harbour. What if he came to the door and revealed her lies? What if he showed off his own or his son's transformations in front of everybody? Would Massimo pull one of those harpoons off the wall and run him through?
Woul dhe then do the same to Alberto?
Maria shook her head hard, as if to physically dislodge those awful thoughts, and stroked her son's curls. Thinking about what if was never productive. She just had to take things as they came. Hopefully she was up to it, for Alberto's sake.
In the morning it was still wet and stormy out. Maria could see the boats in the harbour, riding up and down on the swells, and the leaves on the tree outside were thrashing in the wind. If she'd waited only a few hours to leave, she would have been right in the thick of this. It seemed a luxury to be indoors, even as the walls creaked and the radiator whistled.
There was a knock on the door, and then it opened, revealing Helena with a bundle in her arms. "Good morning," she said. "I brought you some spare clothes. I won't fit back into these until well after the baby arrives."
"Oh, thank you," said Maria, getting to her feet. She was too tall to borrow clothing from most women, but Helena was almost as tall as she. "You don't have anything that would work for Alberto, do you?"
Helena shook her head. "We've got baby clothes, but nothing big enough for him."
"I'll make do," Maria promised.
Helena's dresses were a bit tight, but not too much. Maria washed up and dressed, changed Alberto's nappy, and headed downstairs.
She found Helena sitting in the kitchen with her bare feet up on a chair, eating some rather damp pastries Massimo had brought back from the bakery up the hill, and surrounded by sketches. Maria came to see what she'd been drawing, and found a dozen views of Portorosso and the dramatic cliffs and terrace farms that surrounded the town.
"These are lovely," Maria said. They made her quiet little hometown look like a place from a fairy tale.
"Thank you," Helena replied. "I got accepted to art school in Firenze, but then I met Massimo, and you know how plans change."
"Yes, I do," Maria agreed. Except... she really hadn't had any plans until she'd met Giancarlo. Only vague dreams of doing something with her life besides selling fish in the middle of nowhere. The two of them had made their plans together. They were going to travel the world, seeing its wonders and meeting its people... but then, yes, everything had changed.
"I'd wanted to spend a year in the countryside and paint, anyway," Helena added. "This is such a beautiful little town. There's always something new here. The sun hits the roofs in a different place each morning, the sea has a thousand moods, the stars reflect on the water... I could paint this place for a thousand years and never run out of subjects."
That sounded very strange to Maria, who'd always thought of Portorosso as the most boring place in the world. "Where are you from?" Maria asked, sitting down at the table with Alberto in her lap.
Helena offered her the soggy paper bag with the pastries. "Genova. Not far away, I guess, but it feels like a million miles somewhere. It's so much bigger and busier there, all crowds and noise. Portorosso is so peaceful."
Dull. Portorosso was dull. Genova had always sounded like a metropolis, a place where big and exciting things were always happening, where there were palazzos and cathedrals and a harbour full of ships from far and wide. It probably was crowded and loud, but Maria never would have thought of those as bad things.
"There's coffee," Helena added.
"Oh, thank you." Maria fished a pastry out of the bag for Alberto, and went to pour herself a cup.
Alberto sat down on her vacated chair and examined this strange foodstuff. They'd had bread sometimes on the Island, when Giancarlo brought it back from the various places he'd been working, but most of their food had always come from the sea. The cream-filled croissant didn't look like anything Alberto had ever been given before. He dug his little fingers into it and pulled it apart, fascinated by the filling oozing out. Finally he thought to taste it, and his face lip up. He stuffed the rest in his mouth.
"Is that yummy?" asked Maria. She sat down again with her coffee.
Alberto squealed with his mouth full and his cheeks puffed out, and reached for the cup.
"Ah, ah, this is not for you," Maria told him. "We'll warm up some milk for you."
"He's so curious," said Helena fondly, as Alberto sucked pastry and cream off his fingers.
Maria moved a little, so that Helena wouldn't be able to see if Alberto's hands began to turn purple. "This is a new place," she said, "everything here must seem odd to him. He's a brave little fellow, though, and he seems to be figuring it out." Alberto always wanted to investigate and study everything shown to him, from snails on rocks to pieces of sea glass.
"According tot he newspaper the rain is supposed to let up later," Helena said. "We could do some shopping. He'll need new clothes and so will you."
"That's a good idea. I'll pay you back when I have the money," Maria promised.
"If that's what you'd prefer," said Helena with a nod. "Massimo told me you'd always been very independent." She watched as Alberto slid down from his seat to start exploring the kitchen again. "I think he must take after you that way."
"He does," Maria agreed. "He gets stuck trying to dress himself, but he complains when I help him. He'll get the hang of it eventually." She looked around the kitchen, to make sure there were no more buckets of water and creatures sitting around.
Helena noticed. "Massimo delivered the lobsters yesterday afternoon, while you were napping."
Massimo himself joined them a few minutes later, his hair and shoulders wet from being out in the rain. "The water is too rough for fishing this morning," he announced, without any other greeting. "I may go out later if it calms." He sat down, and Maria pushed the coffee pot towards him. Massimo nodded his thanks and poured himself a cup, then sat and watched his nephew opening and closing cupboard doors. "How is he this morning?"
"Into everything already," said Helena. "Maria and I are thinking of going out shopping later, since we were saying he needs things."
Massimo nodded.
It was always difficult to tell what Massimo was thinking. Maria had once been good at it, but she'd been away for over two years, and she'd gotten used to Giancarlo, who showed everything hew as thinking on his face even when he was trying very hard to lie to her. Was there something on Massimo's mind, or was he just being his usual quiet self?
"Is something wrong?" Helena asked.
"Maria's boat is gone," said Massimo.
Maria's heard leaped into her throat. Giancarlo must have come back for it... why hadn't he visited the house? Was it because he was afraid of Massimo? Or had he been there, looking in the window while she'd closed it in the middle of the night? The idea made her shudder. "I must not have tied it properly," she said. "I didn't think what would happen if the wind came up."
Massimo gave her a sideways look – he knew she'd always been good with knots. "Somebody went through the equipment in mine, too. Nothing was taken, but I brought everything back to the Pescheria."
Maria bit her lip. What had Giancarlo been looking for?
"That'll be a very wet and disappointed thief in this weather," was Helena's only observation.
Maria looked from her brother to his wife, terrified that one or other of them would realize she was hiding something and demand more information. For the moment, however, both were focused on their breakfast. Maria relaxed, but only a little. She was going to have to keep her guard up at all times.
Once the meal was over, Massimo went downstairs to go through the shop, sorting yesterday's catch into what was still fresh enough to sell and what would have to be turned into fertilizer. Maria would have offered to help, but she would have had to take Alberto with her, and the Pescheria would be full of water and ice. Instead, she helped Helena pick up the plates and cups, and rinse them in the sink. The kitchen was cramped, and Helena had a hard time moving around with her swollen abdomen.
"When are you due?" Maria asked her.
"Six weeks," Helena replied, running and affectionate hand over her belly. "It can't come soon enough, honestly. I'm getting so tired of hauling this extra weight around!"
Alberto chose that moment to tug on Maria's skirt, and she scooped him up and poked the end of his button nose with her finger. "You really think that ends when they're born?"
"I guess not!" Helena said with a laugh, "but at least you can switch arms when one gets tired!"
The weather remained windy and grey, but the rain petered out by lunchtime, and Helena and Maria were able to set off on their shopping trip. Even after promising to pay it back, Maria didn't want Helena to spend too much money on her, so she chose their first stop: a place that sold second-hand clothing and furniture, halfway up the hill. The break in the weather meant that more people were outside now, hoping to get a few errands done before it started again. Maria kept an eye on the people passing them, and carried Alberto the whole way so he couldn't run off to splash in puddles. Fortunately, he was too distracted by all the new sights around him to complain too much.
"Hello, Maria!" Concetta Aragosta called out, as she and her friend Pinuccia passed. "Ottavia Brignole said you were back."
"So I am," Maria replied, a bit puzzled by the greeting. The two Aragosta ladies – as a child Maria had assumed they were sisters, but she was now old enough to know better – mostly kept to themselves, and didn't seem to be related to anyone else in the town as far as she knew. They'd never spoken to her before.
Then again, with Signora Brignole involved, it was probably the talk of the town: Maria Marcovaldo returns, dressed in rags and carrying a toddler! What must people be saying about her? Maria had been so worried about what Massimo would think of her reappearance that she hadn't thought too much about what other people would say, and more than what she would say to them . Were they imagining her as a fallen woman, wandering the world in rags with some stranger's bastard on her back?
Concetta and Pinuccia, however, did not look scandalized or even unhappy. They were smiling kindly as they came closer, and Alberto, who was alert and looking around in Maria's arms at the people passing, greeted them with the same wide eyes as he had every other stranger.
"Hello, there, little fellow!" Pinuccia said, wiggling her fingers at him in a wave. "Has your mummy got you out and about today?"
"Will his father be joining you?" Concetta wanted to know, although she sounded dubious.
Maria shook her head. "His father is... no longer with us." It was so much harder to lie to somebody's face than it had been to do so to Helena's back last night.
"Oh, I'm so sorry," said Concetta.
"If you need any help with the baby, you can always come and ask us," Pinuccia added. "I promise, we know all about unusual children!" She winked.
Maria stared at her. What did she mean, unusual children ? Did she know ? How was taht possible? She held Alberto a little tighter, making him squirm.
"We'll see you around and about, we're sure," said Concetta.
" Arrivederci ," Pinuccia agreed, and the two of them puttered off.
Helena watched them go with a perplexed frown. "Do you know them very well?" she asked Maria.
"No," Maria replied, just as confused as her new sister-in-law. "That's the first time I've ever talked to them. I was right about Signora Brignole, though," she added. "She told everybody ."
"We're going to be hearing all kinds of theories about what you've been up to," Helena guessed.
When they walked into the second-hand shop, the owner, Cinzia Caviglia, turned to her teenage son and whispered, "that's her. That's Maria Marcovaldo." Then she flashed a bright smile and approached her customers. "Welcome, Signora Marcovaldo," she said in a much louder voice. "And welcome back , Signorina Marcovaldo. I'd heard you were back in town!"
Maria hadn't been called Signorina Marcovaldo since she'd left home, and for a moment she couldn't device whether to correct Signora Caviglia or not. She didn't particularly want to use Giancarlo's surname, but being Miss while carrying a small child would make her a pariah. So she said, "it's Signora Scorfano ."
"So sorry," said Signora Caviglia, her smile not faltering for a moment. "Signora Scorfano. I expect you need something to wear, and for your boy, as well."
It really was that obvious, wasn't it? "Yes, please."
Alberto was the most important thing, so Maria went to the children's section first. She found him a lovely little set of rust-coloured overalls with a sailboat on the front, and a yellow shirt to go with them. This was far more clothing than Alberto was used to, and he wriggled and complained she she got him into it in the changing room. No sooner did she have the last button done, than he escaped his mother's arms and went running out into the shop again.
Maria ran after him and scooped him up, while Helena laughed at the sight.
"You come back here, you little mischief!" said Maria. She gave Alberto a kiss on each cheek as he continued to squirm. "Look at you, you look so handsome!"
"Doesn't he just?" Helena said with a grin.
"We'll take this set," Maria told Signora Caviglia. "Let me find a few more."
She chose a couple more little outfits for Alberto, and then two inexpensive dresses for herself. Both of these would have to be let down before Maria could wear them, but that would give her something to do for the afternoon at least. They paid Signora Caviglia, and then Helena insisted on treating Maria to lunch at a shop that sold coffee and sandwiches up the street. The sun was starting to come out now, glinting on the puddles and sparkling on the water running from a little fontanella across the street.
"Massimo will want us to hurry," Helena observed. "He'll still have time to go out fishing if the weather stays nice." She smiled at Maria. "Your husband was a diver. I imagine his work was very unpredictable."
"Yes," Maria said. "We moved around a lot as he looked for work. Until Alberto came along, of course. Then we had to settle down."
"Where were you living?" Helena enquired.
Maria hadn't thought of an answer to that. They'd been on that awful little Island since about three months before Alberto was born. She wasn't about to tell anybody the truth – for one thing, it might lead them to Giancarlo, but for another, and perhaps more importantly, she was a little ashamed of it. The Island had seemed like a good place to stay for a few weeks while they sorted the situation out, but then they'd somehow just never left. It hadn't been a very nice place to live, and certainly wasn't anywhere to raise a child, but they hadn't known what else to do. Why hadn't she left months ago?
"We were in Montpellier when Giancarlo died," Maria decided. They had stopped in that city, so she'd be able to answer questions about it if anyone asked. "I came back as fast as I could, but I didn't have much money."
"I'm glad you made it," said Helena with a gentle smile. "It'll be okay now, I promise. Massimo is so happy you're home. I honestly thought he might cry about it."
Maria felt her chest tighten. That was why she'd stayed so long: because she'd had nowhere to go but Portorosso, and she'd feared Massimo would be angry with her. If she'd only known.
As she and Helena stepped outside again, Maria saw the two Aragosta ladies standing by the fontanella , where Concetta was filling a watering can. Pinuccia smiled and waved, but Maria did not respond, still put off by their earlier conversation. Alberto, however, twisted himself out of her arms, causing her to almost drop her bag of second-hand clothing into a puddle – and while she was catching her purchases, he took off across the street towards the two old women.
And towards the pool of water below the fontanella . Maria dropped the bag on the cobblestones and grabbed at him.
"Alberto!" she exclaimed. "Alberto, stop right there!"
Concetta Aragosta stepped back, clutching her watering can to her chest, while Pinuccia put out an arm to stop the boy. That didn't reassure Maria, who didn't want strangers handling her child. She'd almost reached him, only for Alberto to duck under Pinuccia's hands and go straight into the basin with a splash.
Maria shrieked in dismay, and then cried out, " no !" as Pinuccia Aragosta pulled the transformed baby out of the water. Maria dropped her shawl and shoved the taller Concetta aside, then snatched Alberto away, then turned around to see Helena standing there with shopping bags in each arm, staring with her mouth open and her eyes wide.
This could not be happening. Maria didn't know what was worse – the strangers seeing, or Helena. Concetta and Pinuccia might tell the whole town... what were people going to say about that ? They would think she was worse than a fallen woman, that she was raising some monster. And Helena... she would tell Massimo ...
Pinuccia picked up the fallen shawl and wrapped it around Maria's shoulders. Maria grabbed it and pulled it closed around herself and her son, and belatedly started rubbing Alberto dry with the cloth. Concetta came from the other direction, and wiped his face with her apron. "There we go," she said quietly, as the baby complained. "All human!"
Maria blinked away tears and stared at the old lady, uncomprehending. "What did you just say?"
"Nothing, dear," Concetta said. She took a step back, and Maria clutched Alberto closer, shifting his weight as his tail vanished again. "We told you we knew about unusual children, didn't we?"
"We'll see you again soon," Pinuccia said. She picked up the grocery bags she'd set on a bench, Concetta got her watering can, and the two of them started back up the hill towards their home.
That left Maria standing there watching in confusion as they vanished around a corner – and Helena standing there looking at Maria in shock.
"What was that?" asked Helena.
Maria licked her lips as she tried to decide what to say. Her sister-in-law didn't look frightened , at least... maybe because the two old women had been so calm about it. She looked worried and flustered, and she kept giving Alberto concerned looks... but she showed no signs of screaming or running away.
"What did you see?" Maria wanted to know.
"I'm not sure," Helena replied. She took a step closer, watching as Alberto tried to escape again. There was nothing outwardly odd about him now, just a toddler squirming because his mother was holding him too tight. "I... is he your son?"
"Of course he is!" Maria huffed. "You have to promise not to tell Massimo!" She could handle being thrown out of the house, but if Massimo knew...
"I don't even know what I'd be telling him!" Helena protested. Her eyes went to something behind Maria.
Maria turned to see what she was looking at, and froze stiff as she saw Massimo himself coming up the hill. This could not possibly get any worse...
"Are you finished your shopping?" he asked the women.
Maria looked at Helena. Helena glanced at Alberto, and then gave Massimo a weak smile. "Yes, we have," she said. "If you're ready to head out, we can mind the shop."
Massimo nodded, and came closer to Maria. She clutched Alberto protectively against her, keeping the shawl around him, just in case.
"What does he think of Portorosso?" Massimo asked.
Maria just stared at him.
"He loves it," said Helena. "Maria can barely hang onto him. He just wants to look at everything... he was in the fountain a moment ago, wasn't he?"
Maria's heart was pounding so hard she could barely even hear this. Helena was about to tell. She was definitely about to tell and then...
"Maria?" asked Massimo.
She swallowed to try to wet her bone-dry throat. "Yes?"
"Are you all right?" Massimo said.
Maria couldn't speak. It was like her brain had just stopped . The only thing she was capable of doing was clinging to her son.
"You look like you've seen a ghost," said Helena. She came and put her hands on Maria's shoulders, guiding her to the bench from which Pinuccia Aragosta had retrieved her groceries. "Maybe you should sit down."
"No, I'm all right, I'm all right," Maria babbled. She needed to be on her feet. She needed to be ready to run.
"Are you sure?" asked Massimo.
"Yes! Yes. I'm fine," said Maria.
Massimo and Helena continued to look concerned, but they allowed her to walk with them back to the Pescheria. On the way, Maria began to calm down again. Helena hadn't told yet... maybe she wasn't going to. Or maybe, as she'd said, she just wanted to know what she was telling about before she did. In that case, Maria still had a chance. Maybe she could convince Helena not to tell. If all else failed, she could run, although she had no idea where she would go. There had to be something she could do.
Alberto ha realized by now that something was wrong. He was quiet in her arms as they approached the building. There, Massimo headed down to start the engine on his boat, while Helena went to the cash register to deal with a waiting customer, a woman hoping to purchase some squid for calamari. Maria simply waited by the doorway. She didn't know what to do. Probably she ought to leave, to just set out on the road for Genova or Milano or somewhere and never look back... but she didn't.
Finally the customer left, and Helena shut the front door and turned to Maria. Maria swallowed hard, wondering what in the world she was going to say .
Helena looked at Alberto, still clinging to his mother's bodice, and asked, "Is he all right? I mean..."
"He's fine," said Maria.
"He always does that?"
"Yes." Maria rearranged her hold on her son, letting his head rest on her shoulder. She needed to explain, but how? What could she say that wouldn't just make Helena think she needed this monster out of her house before her own child was born? "He's... what has Massimo told you about the sea monsters?"
"Sea monsters?" asked Helena, frowning. To her, the question must have seemed like it had come out of nowhere. "He said he saw one the same summer you left. He tried several times to catch it, but it always got away. He said you and your boyfriend laughed at him when he..." her voice trailed off.
Maria winced at the memory. She hadn't realized in that moment that Massimo would be hurt by her laughing. Her first instinct had been to protect Giancarlo. That whole summer they'd been terrified Massimo might realize that the suitor he disliked and the monster he was chasing were one and the same, and every time he mentioned it, Maria had feared he was hinting he already knew.
Helena was still waiting for an explanation. For a split second Maria thought about just making something up, but she knew that nothing she could invent would seem plausible, even if it were still more believable than the truth. Especially when she had already insisted that yes, Alberto was her son. She couldn't have denied that, even if it would help her story. She didn't have it in her.
"Giancarlo was the sea monster," said Maria. "They transform when they get out of the water, and change back when they get wet again. I know it sounds like a fairy tale..." Alberto had begun to wiggle again, so she set him on the floor. It didn't matter if Helena saw him now.
Alberto toddled over to pick up a coin somebody had dropped. It was sitting in a puddle, and his fingers transformed as he touched it. After turning it over in one four-fingered pink hand and one three-fingered purple one, he ran back to show it proudly to Maria.
"So he'll do that every time he gets wet?" Helena asked.
Maria nodded. "Oh, very shiny," she said to Alberto, and then looked earnestly at Helena. "You see why you can't tell Massimo, right?"
"We have to, though," Helena said. "He needs to know."
"No, he doesn't!" Maria insisted. "You can't. If he finds out..."
"He would never hurt your child," said Helena, "no matter what."
"What if he doesn't believe that Alberto is my child?" Maria asked. "You didn't at first! He's told everybody in town he was going to kill that sea monster. He'd never let one live in his house!"
"Alberto is your son ," Helena said. "He'll understand!"
A shaft of sunlight entered the room, and both women turned to see that a man had opened the door to peek in. Maria snatched Alberto up again, the coin clinking on the tiles as the boy dropped it. How much had this man seen? How much had he heard ?
"Sorry to interrupt, Signora Marcovaldo," the visitor said to Helena, "but my wife sent me to see if you have any large shrimp."
Helena laughed nervously. "Not at all! I mean... I mean don't worry about interrupting, not we don't have shrimp. We do! How about these?" She hurried to find them, and lifted a basket onto the counter. "They're yesterday's, but they lived through the night and should still be just fine. What do you think?"
The man studied them critically while Maria backed towards the inside door with Alberto in her arms. She slipped through and closed it softly as Helena and the customer haggled over the price, and then, alone in the semi-darkness, Maria sat down on the stairs with her face in her hands.
"Ma?" Alberto asked.
"Sorry, Berto," she told him, and reached to stroke his chubby cheek. "It's not your fault, I promise you. None of this is your fault. It's all your father's and mine. I don't know what we're going to do now." She'd only been back a day, and already everything was ruined.
The voices outside eventually stopped, and a few seconds after that, Helena opened the door.
"I don't think he heard anything," she said to Maria. "He didn't ask questions."
Maria nodded. "You've got to promise," she repeated.
"Massimo will find out anyway," Helena said. "You can't keep children from getting into things. Alberto's been exploring everything since the moment he arrived."
"Then I'll have to watch him better," said Maria. Alberto was used to being allowed to run around wherever he liked on the island, and was quite happy in or out of the water. It was going to be a very different life he would have to get used to in town. Perhaps she should have waited until he was old enough to understand why they... but no, Maria couldn't have lasted that long, and neither could Alberto. He needed other children. He needed a life Giancarlo wasn't willing to give him. Maria wasn't sure she was capable, but at least she wanted to try .
"Maria," Helena began
"No. I need you to promise," Maria said, "because if you don't then I'm going to have to leave." She might have to leave anyway.
Helena sighed, but she nodded. "I promise, then. I won't tell Massimo myself, but I know he's going to find out one way or another. He doesn't miss much."
"He missed Giancarlo," said Maria.
"I don't know if I'd be sure of that," Helena said.
Maria shuddered. "I... I probably can't stay here for long anyway," she admitted. "I feel like I'm going mad." Would she feel safer around strangers? Probably not... but feeling unsafe around family was so much worse.
"You can stay as long as you want," said Helena. "Massimo promised you that, and I agreed with him, and I don't think either of us will change our minds. And I won't tell him about Alberto – but I think you should."
That would have to do for now, Maria decided.