Author's notes: If it wasn't obvious enough that I have zero idea how hospitals work then this chapter should confirm any remaining suspicions. But to be fair this IS a fictional universe, so maybe I'm allowed to take some creative liberties or something, I don't know. My brain feels fried, so expect the next few chapters to be worse, I guess.

Chapter 3 - A new normalcy

"I've finally gotten a print out of that dastard." The nurse darted an eye at the sentient printer snapping its plastic 'jaws' at her with a cheeky grin.

Things are weird here, there's a rumoured ghost living on the premises who pulls pranks on patients and staff alike in their sleep, often lying in wait by possessing the lights and printers around the establishment. According to Cheryl, most of the pranks are relatively harmless, but still, what an asshole.

"... For what?" I eyed the paper file she slapped onto the table.

"You, of course! I've finished a body scan to check all of your internal organs and skeletal system. I can safely report that not one piece of your insides were damaged!" The Blissey, Cheryl, responded cheerfully, while I just stared at her.

"Y-You didn't bother to check until now?" I asked, wide eyed. "I could have had severe, uh… internal haemorrhages and you wouldn't have noticed!" Astounded by the lack of regulation regarding this Pokémon Centre, I briefly wondered why the League hadn't called for its staff to be replaced yet.

"We did, this is your second one. Besides, you weren't the only Pokémon who was administered to this Centre. We have to go through quite a list of patients every day." Cheryl said, rather sheepishly, handing me the small diagram of my anatomy.

I checked over the picture, most of my human organs were still present, minus my lungs and a few other smaller organs I never bothered to remember or care about. I don't think I had a pancreas anymore, but I never bothered to remember what it even did. Insulin's probably irrelevant when you're just a mangosteen, anyway. I scanned the rest of the documents, until I suddenly snapped. Give me a second, what the hell? My lungs! How did I breathe, d-do I even need to breathe?

Oh whatever, if I haven't died, then I couldn't care less. Maybe I should be more concerned about the seed growing around my underside instead, or perhaps that's just standard Grass type Pokémon nonsense.

The rest of my anatomy looks relatively normal, before I kicked the picture around to read the text scribbled at the back.

Species: Bounsweet

Gender: Female

Current condition: Stable

Extra notes (Documented by Cheryl, translated by R0T0M): This particular specimen appears to be leagues more intelligent compared to the average members of her species. Able to recognise and cooperate safely in a friendly environment. Treat with caution and respect as every other patient.

I have to do a double take out of shock, first I thought not having lungs was bad, now this graph lists me as a girl.

"Sorry, it looks like there's a mistake on here." I began, "This graph says that I'm a female." I shove the graph into Cheryl's face, "Even though I'm clearly a-"

Cheryl gave me a strange look, "All Bounsweet are female. In fact, there's never been a male Bounsweet ever recorded in history. And your anatomy seems to resound with that of a normal female Bounsweet's."

You've gotta be kidding me, the tiny heart in my chest skipped a beat as her words hit my ears. GOD. DAMN. IT.

I KNEW I SHOULD'VE DONE MY HOMEWORK WHEN WE HAD BEEN STUDYING POKÉMON BIOLOGY IN CLASS. AND HUMAN BIOLOGY TOO, FOR THAT MATTER. Now I've potentially got lady bits and I don't even know what any of its functions are!

Wait, do I even- Do Bounsweet have pistils or actual reproductive genitals? I guess I'm not really a flower so it's probably option B, but… Don't fruits reproduce by getting themselves eaten so their seeds can be spread? Ugh… I better shrug these unhelpful thoughts out of my brain before I give myself another headache.

"Uh-" I paused, unable to find the adequate vocabulary to match my exasperation. "This can't be right!"

Cheryl shrugged. "I… don't know what to say. It is what it is, unless you want me to double check the scanner?"

I groaned despondently, "No, don't bother." Great. Even more issues I have to deal with. "So, what can I do in this Pokémon Centre?"

"Oh!" Cheryl looked a little surprised, as if she hadn't expected that. "After you've fully recovered from your injuries-"

"How long will that take?" I question, cutting the Blissey's sentence off.

"You'll be perfectly fine after a few more days. Pokémon recover much faster than humans." I guess that's a relief? Well, considering my current situation, I'd better cherish the few good things I have. "Considering you were already able to walk after a two-day coma, so long as you take your medicine and rest up, you'll be recovering at an incredible rate."

"I guess it makes sense."

"As I was saying, after you've fully recovered, we plan on sending you back to your home in the Lush Jungle, where you can continue on with your life without interruption." The Blissey outlined with senseless transparency.

What… Send me back? Nope, nope, nope. Do you know how hard I had to scream and run outta that monstrous location? "Are you joking?!" My warning gasp quickly transformed into a yell of fear, "There's no way I'm going back into that jungle. What with a billion angry Flying types waiting to kill me the moment I step foot inside? Never!" Cheryl flinched at my angry shouting, I took a deep breath in and recomposed myself. "Sorry." I muttered.

Cheryl shrugged, "No, your outburst is… understandable. I probably shouldn't have brought up the topic. In that case, I suppose you could try and work here at the Pokémon Centre."

"I can do that?"

"Yes, of course. Not only serving as a hospital for wounded and sick Pokémon, the Centre also doubles as a sort of home. For Pokémon who really don't want to return home or have ended up losing their trainers can stay here temporarily until we find a better option for them."

That… doesn't sound too bad, actually. So long as I pull my weight around these parts, I can keep a roof over my head and have food in my mouth as I scout for information on my transformation. Yeah, I'm really warming up to this plan. "Alright, alright." I waved one of the leaves on my head dismissively. "You can spare me the details. What do I need to do to get registered as a worker here?"

"Firstly, you need to be in working condition to apply. You're already missing that step."

"What are you talking about? I've already recovered, s-"

I leapt off the bed, only to fall flat onto my face due to a… slight miscalculation of my weight.

Cheryl picked me back up and placed me into the bed. I shot her a bitter glare. "Don't even bother."

"You could work on that attitude, too, dear." She reprimanded, tucking me under a blanket.

For the next few days, I spend most of that time in my room. Mainly relaxing in my bed and attempting to work off all the stress induced by having a near death experience. It's not easy, but I keep telling myself it could be worse. Maybe I could've been reincarnated as an Ariados - Forced to clambour within the rotting depths of the jungle while being forced to eat disgusting corpse-slurries tangled in my own webbing.

Nah, scratch that, at least an Ariados can still fight back or run away! They could fall back on their silk, or their venom, whereas the best chance I had was a fruitless attempt at spinning the sepals on my head - it really doesn't get any worse than this.

Though, complaining aside, everyday I'm feeling a lot better - my bruised spots are gone, a missing piece on my sepals has been restored, and general buzzing in my head has mostly departed.

Small victories, I suppose.

Since I was genuinely considering staying for the long term, I've been trying to interact with Cheryl more and more to learn the structure and layout of the place. Turns out, it's more chaotic than I thought. There's a single Nurse Joy in charge, like the other Centres, but apparently she doesn't do a whole lot more than sit at the front desk and look pretty. That's something for another time, however.

Furthermore, now that I've been much more active around the place, Cheryl's been forced to drop whatever she's doing just to monitor me. It makes sense, though. Even as I insisted that I didn't have any serious injuries, I probably would've needed a lot of help doing anything, really. I still needed to be fed, washed and constantly kept tabs on by other Pokémon as my lack of arms and diminutive size makes it easy for me to get into places I shouldn't - and then find myself unable to get out. Just the other day, I tripped into the deep, dark depths of the toy box trying to fetch a rubber ball and wound up sitting in the pile for half a day. In fact, I'm not even sure if they'll let me apply as a nurse here, considering that I certainly wouldn't be a very helpful one.

That leads me to wonder, why did I even decide to apply? I had little to no experience with this place - although I was nearing the end of my high school years, I was never big into Pokémon the same way my other friends were, and that didn't change when I moved here, either. While everyone was celebrating with their Rowlet or their Litten, our family Furret was lucky if she got a few seconds with me every day. So it was sufficient to say I didn't care much about any of these magical creatures, leading to me never using a Pokémon Centre as anything more than a place to buy lemonades and carbonated water through their built-in cafes. Though this one didn't seem to have any, considering the front lobby consisted of only a few chairs and a desk, not that I could convince the attendant to brew me a cup of coffee anyway.

Surely I should be looking for a way to return to normal, or at least, maybe even get back home, right? But… the very thought of going off by my lonesome and getting ambushed by an unseen threat was enough to keep me up at night. As much as I loathe to admit it - I'm scared. I'm scared that if I went off to look for my home on my own I'll get captured, or worse, eaten by a hungry Toucannon. It was obvious no one here was going to believe that I was formerly a human, so I didn't expect much sympathy from them. I suppose the only really logical thing for me to do would be to remain here, the only safe place from the fearsome wilderness. At least until I can gather enough information to get back home.

It can't be that bad, right? All I need to do is bandage some Pokémon and stick their Poké Balls into those healing machines I've seen Nurse Joy do a hundred times already; can't be that bad.

Even getting to the reception is a painstaking task in and of itself, an Eldegoss had left its cotton for me to slip on by the foot of the stairs Then this idiotic Comfey accidentally dropped a bottle of Max Ether atop my head, spilling its sticky contents over my leaves. Finally, I found out the hard way that I couldn't even reach over the front desk without Cheryl's help, which doesn't sound so bad compared to the other issues I've already faced, but I'll tell you what, as a sulky teenager a slap to the face doesn't hurt half as much as not being able to reach something because of your height. When your pride is at stake, it feels like you'll do just about anything to prove yourself, I'm probably getting off topic now…

"Ah, so our friend here wants to apply herself as a member of this Pokémon Centre? It's been a while since we've gotten a new member, let's see if I can find the entrance test…" The Head Nurse of this facility asked, she was named Nurse Joy, like every other Head Nurse in every other Pokémon Centre to ever exist. Hot pink hair tied into two loops behind her head, complimented by the pristine uniform and surgical cap - standard as ever. She was a bit on the older side for some of the other nurses I had seen - The nurse had a more maternal figure about her waist, but I digress. I nod along with her speech, eyeing her subtly to find any possible differences that separated her from her clone army of a family.

"Of course! I'll try not to accidentally kill anyone!" I responded cheerfully, taking the chance to mess with her knowing full well the doctor couldn't understand a word I said.

Cheryl gives me a weird look. "You've got a weird sense of humour." She said, "It's almost uncanny."

"You wouldn't know the half of it."

"Very well, we'll just need you to pass a few basic tests, then we'll allow you to officially work here as a nurse!" Nurse Joy declared rather happily. Ah, now there was a difference. She was happy… Almost too happy. It felt a bit off, honestly. But I couldn't quite put my finger on it (get it?).

She held out a small slip of paper with human words on it. Which I could easily read, along with a small pen. "First, we need to test your basic language cognitive abilities. On this slip of paper, you will find multiple common scenarios a nurse often finds themselves in. Circle one of the many choices presented or even write out your own answer in the boxes provided below. Normally we'd ask a Pokémon for their signature to consent to taking the test, but in your case…" She stalled, "To confirm your consent, I'm going to ask that you hop twice on the floor. If you do not consent, please jump once."

My opinion of her instantly rose a bit, it was nice to see that she wasn't just treating me like some stupid monster. A swift double tapping of my feet affirmed my choice.

Nurse Joy smiled one of her many charming service smiles felt just a twinge too plastered, but I digress. I silently rolled my pupil-less eyes. Before staring down at the page below me.

How was I supposed to write anything, given that I had no hands?

"Do you need any help with circling and writing?" Cheryl asked, I nearly forgot she was still hovering beside me. I shook my head.

"No, I don't. I'll manage myself." She tilted her head before I bent down, grasping one end of the pen in my mouth, I pointed the tip, which had thankfully been uncapped, shakily towards the paper.

Let's do this.

Question 1: What is the most basic rule required to follow when working in a Pokémon Centre?

A: Hygiene

B: Efficiency (is that even a rule?)

C: Safety

D: Comfort

Huh. The questions were barely even written. The answers only came with tiny pictures, leaving only the initial query spelt with the lexicon. Anyway, it's obviously option C. Lowering the pen in my mouth slowly while trying not to drool all over it. I awkwardly circle option C. Which is much more difficult than I originally believed. The circle I had once intended to draw comes out as a horrendous irregular shape which more resembled a three year old's drawing than anything else.

"If you're struggling to fill out the form. We can get you some help, if you'd l-"

"Mmr!" I interrupt Nurse Joy. Shaking my head rapidly. "Mmr mnph!"

I don't need any help, alright? You two can stop asking. Besides, this question was as easy as child's play. Unless the next one wants me to define the meaning of life, I think I'm all good.

"If you insist." Nurse Joy says respectfully.

Alright, time for question 2.

Question 2: If a Pokémon was afflicted with poison. Which medicine should be used to treat their wounds?

A: Potion

B: Antidote

C: Awakening

D: Ice Heal

It's obviously the Antidote, right? I'm pretty sure Potions are used for healing a Pokémon who had been wounded in battle, and did nothing which affected their status conditions, the Awakening is used on Pokémon that have been forcefully induced sleep, and the Ice Heal… well, that one was self explanatory. Which leaves only option B!

I bent closer to the paper, scribbling a terrible attempt at a circle all over option B.

The next few questions aren't too difficult either, just basic safety protocols that I learnt in science class all while I was still a human. It's a circling part that really irks me, but eventually I manage, drawing horrible, wobbly 'circles' all across the sheet of paper.

The last question, however, really stops me dead in my tracks.

Question 5: What moves do you know?

The question had a little box at the bottom, obviously meaning for me to write out the answer. After conducting a scan on my condition, I found out that I had four moves: Razor Leaf, Rapid Spin, Sweet Scent… and Splash (which I'm really hoping to forget soon). So… I didn't even know Tackle, was I just ramming my forehead into logs like a total idiot, then?

But how can I write these down?! I frowned, welp, here goes nothing.

I leaned in to begin writing, only to have my pen plucked from me at the last second.

"Huh? Give me my pen back!"

"I don't think so." Cheryl responded calmly, rubbing one end of the pen which I held in my mouth against a handkerchief. "You need help writing, and whether you allow me or not, I will assist you!"

"Hey!" I yelled, hopping up in an attempt to steal the pen from Cheryl, who simply held it up high in the air, along with the sheet of questions.

"Let's see here, if I remember correctly, your four moves were Razor Leaf, Rapid Spin, Sweet Scent and Splash, correct?"

I sighed in defeat, "Yep."

"Excellent!" Cheryl filled out the rest of the form. Before ringing a small bell that brought the Head Nurse running.

"How wonderful!" Nurse Joy read through the question sheet, squinting occasionally, probably because of how terrible my writing was. "Congratulations, Bounsweet!" I perked up slightly, did I pass? I mean, if I didn't, it would be totally embarrassing, I won't lie.

"You correctly answered every question. We can now employ you as one of the staff members here!" Her exclamations felt a tad hollow, but at least Cheryl seemed genuinely joyous for my achievement. To be fair, maybe they'd have been challenging to a normal Pokémon that was unable to read or write, but to an ex-human like me? Piece of cake, it's almost unfair considering I'm basically scamming them of food, water and shelter!

"Yes!" I leapt into the air with excitement, twirling my sepals with joy.

I can't believe I actually passed that. Was that really all I needed to be employed as a member of the Pokémon Centre? That 'test' was so easy even a pre-schooler could pass it, I'm certainly not complaining, that's for sure. Especially since they also provide accommodations, protection and rations for Pokémon who work at the Centre.

Three Pidgey, one stone. I wish getting a job would be that easy in my real body… With my meagre qualifications, the best I could apply for was something like retail - which I heard apparently sucks here in Alola, not that it doesn't suck anywhere else.

Gladdened by my success, Cheryl pulls me into a suffocating hug that fills me with a warm balm. The Blissey seemed to simply radiate an aura of gaiety that I can't help but relax in. After a few seconds of indulging, however, I remind myself not to let my guard down, desperately attempting to wiggle out of her arms.

She has a grip like iron, though, I'll give her that - even after a few seconds I can't get more than an inch of my sorry rump out. Giving in, the contentedness takes over the forefront of my jittery brain and I resolve to settle in her grasp.

"Great job! We'll be working together from now on, isn't that exciting?"

"Y-yeah, it'll be… great. Now please… I can't breathe!"

"Sorry, sorry!" Cheryl exclaimed, letting go of me. Giving me the chance to take in a huge gulp of air (I thought I didn't have lungs?)

Nurse Joy chuckled at my misfortune. "Cheryl, would you be a dear and show our newest employee her way around this Pokémon Centre?"

"Certainly!" Cheryl nodded, pointing at me, "Now come along!"

I'm not gonna sugarcoat it: I'm a bit worried. The sense of pride and accomplishment from earlier instantly transforms into an uneasy nagging, given the state of this establishment and its array of cuckoo staff, I get the feeling I might not even last a day if I don't play my cards right.

As we pass by a mirror, which only serves to rub the fact that I'm no longer human in my face, I can't help but laugh at the situation.

It's a defeated, growling sort of laugh, that just slips when you're on the brink of giving up - hinging between insanity and despondency.

I don't know if Cheryl takes notice or not but I don't care. Like it or not, I can say goodbye, farewell, and sayonara to any semblance of normalcy I once had - this is my new life now.

"Its electric-like body can enter some kinds of machines and take control in order to make mischief." (Rotom's Black/White entry)