I confess I'm supposed to be on break, but the truth is I'm in the middle of moving... That being said, should I continue updating? I don't feel well about all the site's flaws xD
"Reflections: Tomoe"
My dear brother, Enishi:
I managed to reach Edo at dawn on the day of the match. Unfortunately, the road by land was more complicated and I couldn't reach Akira sama before the confrontation. By the time I arrived, the tragedy had already occurred.
Perhaps it has been a blessing from the gods... we both knew that we could not change the destiny arranged for each of us. Still, I hoped to see myself wrapped in Akira sama's arms again.
Brother, my heart is broken.
Although I could hold the other half of my heart one last time, his spirit had already left his body.
We knew this would happen; we were preparing for this from the beginning, but nothing we did, none of our efforts over the past year prepared me for the hopelessness that overwhelmed me. Not even for the emptiness that was born in my chest.
For days I have done nothing but cry... Even when the tears seem to stop, my heart does not and perhaps never will... In the midst of all this, the memory of our father came to mind, and I understood, although maybe a little late, the severity of the pain in his heart when our mother died. I would be lying if I said that I didn't feel some guilt, remorse perhaps, for not having been able to understand him.
I'd like to think, however, that I am stronger. But for two days I was unable to get out of bed, and even I had to be separated from Akira sama's body so the burial could begin the day after my arrival.
I know at least this much, Enishi. Your brother, Akira was bid farewell with honor.
I know it's not much, not to say that it is insufficient. I wish I could have painted bright colors as his farewell; being able to even make the stars shine in the day; to make the birds take flight and guide his path to the sky... But what could a woman like me do?
In the middle of a blue sky that was too cold for my taste, I said goodbye to the love of my life...
Tomoe took a deep breath.
Starting the day required her to fill her lungs to the top, holding the air for a moment until she felt that the hole in her chest was not so empty. She looked at the tray with the dishes still with food; she had forced herself to eat it despite how tasteless it was to her taste but, it was obvious that she had not been able to take more than a couple of bites.
She took another deep breath and prepared to leave.
...
It was the second time she had resided in the Kamiya mansion and the second time she had been in Edo, although this time she was alone. A single maid had accompanied her to the place where she had been informed her deceased husband's body resided, but, after they arrived, Tomoe had insisted that she leave her. She had broken away from the Kiyosato clan and, it would be better to remain invisible to the rest of the world, especially if he wanted both Enishi and Shinji to be safe.
Just like the first time, everyone treated her with honor and respect, except that their smiles now lacked true joy. Without a doubt, more than one person felt sorry for her situation. Tomoe wished they didn't.
"I'm a cold woman" she scolded herself.
Honor dictated that she either accept her husband's fate and devote herself to serving the clan, preparing Enishi to take the deceased's place as leader of the second branch, or take revenge on her husband's behalf...
But Tomoe couldn't do either one or the other.
She was a woman trapped in the rebellion plan she had hatched with her deceased partner and she still had duties to fulfill in that matter. Except...
Tomoe stopped, she had to hold on to the railing.
She took a deep breath once more.
Her body knew without a doubt... The sudden loss of heat was a clear sign of this, the rapid beating of her heart was the second evidence, and the lack of breath was what made her realize that she was one hallway away from reaching where her husband's murderer resided...
The woman placed her free hand on her chest, where the tanto rested under her obi and swallowed with difficulty.
"Kiyosato dono" someone called her.
The black-haired woman blinked in surprise and her eyes turned towards master Gensai who was advancing towards her with sadness in his eyes. Unable to speak, the woman bowed slightly in greeting.
Gensai sighed heavily.
"I'll have to ask again, I'm afraid," the older man told her. "I understand the importance of this meeting, but I would hate for this to end up doing more harm than good."
She didn't interrupt him, nor did she look away.
The silence stretched.
Gensai sighed again, this time with regret.
"Very well." He declared and then advanced in front of her. "Himura is already waiting for us."
The hand that was resting on her chest ended up clenching into a fist. It was now, she told herself. The second part of the plan she and Akira had devised together, the assignment that her husband left her after his death, had to be done now.
But...
Her lower lip trembled.
A part of her, so broken and hurt, wanted with all her might to cry and scream, to claim and take out all her pain on whoever stole her happiness.
"Kiyosatio dono?" Gensai spoke to her, steps ahead of her.
The woman composed herself, blinking away her reverie, and advanced until she reached the doctor. She walked with him again, following his steps; going out to the patio, they headed towards one of the buildings, the one that faced the river. After entering the residence, they went up the main stairs and along a corridor until they were facing a private room.
Tomoe's heart skipped a beat when, after having moved the fusuma, her eyes connected with the figure of the samurai; the same one she had met years ago in the sanctuary... and she couldn't help but mutter to herself...
"Kodomo (child)"
Enishi...
I am aware of the innocence of your heart, and how difficult it must be for you to be the vessel of my feelings; I know I shouldn't put such a weight on your shoulders... but I ask you to grant this favor to this selfish sister. I feel like I'm drowning, and knowing that I can talk to you even in this way, frees me.
However, I also understand what the ambivalence of my feelings can do to your young heart.
Dear brother, after meeting the samurai who snuffed out the life of our beloved Akira sama, I felt faint, but not for the reasons I thought I would have.
He was just a child. In my eyes, he was just a broken child, almost like a lost cat... So overwhelmed by his own actions, that I was unable to feel anything other than pity and sadness for him.
How could anyone enact justice or revenge for such a clearly broken young man?
Tomoe played with the fabric of her kimono along the edge over her chest; her fingers seemed to want to cling to the fabric and, at the same time, they seemed to want to tear it off. The woman was aware that time was ticking and that the moment she remained silent was lengthening. She was aware perhaps more because of the presence of Master Gensai than because of the obvious presence of Himura Kenshin in that room.
Her breath seemed to fail her for moments, moments in which she analyzed in detail the figure of the young man in front of her. She could have looked around the room, and taken advantage of those small distractions to collect herself but, she couldn't stop looking at the boy who was sitting at the window with his spirit clearly broken.
His clothes - a dark blue yukata and a black obi - were dishevelled and dirty; he was barefoot, and he wore his hair in a low ponytail - which meant he was a currently off-duty samurai. Distantly, Tomoe wondered if the young man was giving up the fight altogether... And then reminded herself that even if he was, she couldn't let him do it. Himura Kenshin, however, carried the sword on his shoulder; he hugged it loosely as if at the same time he wanted to prevent its use, he didn't want it to touch him. And, although his face was hidden under the strands of his still-dyed hair, it was clear that he was awake but with his mind far from that room.
On the other hand, the scar on his cheek...
Gensai cleared his throat then, perhaps hoping that this would end soon.
Tomoe was internally grateful for such a noise, as she finally managed to break the spell that had prevented her from taking her gaze off of her husband's hitokiri. However, when the storm began to rise up her chest until her lower lip trembled, the woman could only turn around and hurry out of that building.
Behind her, the doctor sighed regretfully.
"I'm truly sorry, Himura-kun." He told the boy. "I'm afraid you'll have to wait one more day."
Before the door closed again, Gensai heard the young samurai's sudden cries, seeing from the corner of his eye how he hid his face again in the embrace of his arms and legs.
It's been difficult... living in a world where Akira sama doesn't exist.
Nothing has lost its color, however, and perhaps that is what hurts. What bothers me... Seeing that the world and life continue without him despite my sadness.
Maybe it's because it's still too early. I don't know.
In my dreams, I can still see him. But he has remained far from my arms, perhaps urging me to fulfill my mission. So much so that I have come to think he is cruel. My heart is divided, that's clear and I don't decide what I should do even if I already know. Even if I had already been predisposed to it, before Akira sama's death.
I should hate the man who stole my happiness and in a way I do, but my hatred is weak when I see that said man is just a child. A young man caught in the middle of injustice and all I can think about is you, Enishi. In everything I was afraid of, that I still fear, I might end up dragging you too. I do not wish you to lose your innocence, my dear brother; I don't want to see you in the same state he is in...
And it's then I finally understand my duty, and my heart hurts even more... Because I feel like I'm somehow failing in my role as a wife...
...
I stayed away from him for another day, unable to calm my heart enough to see him.
Perhaps it would have all been in vain had there not been divine intervention... Almost as if Akira sama himself had known that I would have been unable to do it any other way.
The air came and went in a short breath. The atmosphere was warm, a kind of humid heat, with the sun shining in a vast blue sky. Beyond the sounds of the insects and the rushing river water, Tomoe could still hear in her mind the sweet words of love that Akira had whispered to her in their moments of intimacy... Her heart was still crying.
She felt the presence, perhaps imaginary, of her late husband on one side of her but at a certain distance, and she felt unable to face him and the look he gave her.
"You're not fair," she whispered. "It wasn't supposed to be him," she murmured in anguish.
Akira was not supposed to be discovered, nor did the confrontation have to be precisely with Himura Kenshin. The plan they had laid out didn't count for such a tragedy, and now she didn't know how to do things without feeling like she would lose her head and her heart at the same time.
"Tomoe san"
The young woman blinked in surprise, barely able to wipe away her tears before turning around and facing the leader of the Kamiya clan, Koishijirou.
"Kamiya dono" She greeted him with a short bow still unable to look him in the eye.
There was still some guilt in her for having used the clan's secret to her advantage.
Koishijiro, however, seemed to have no resentment towards her whatsoever. He smiled at her frankly and with hints of sadness that she understood was due to what had happened days ago.
"Will you accompany me to tea?" He offered.
And she finally looked at him, much more confused by such an offer.
For a moment she shifted in her place, doubting, but in the end, she nodded.
"Hai (yes)..."
...
Despite it being midday and the heat that came with it, the air blew gently, shaking the leaves of the treetops in a back-and-forth that gave a feeling of peace in those lands. Kamiya Koishijirou's lot, facing one of the koi fish gardens, also enjoyed such tranquility. Even so, Tomoe felt slightly anxious. After serving the tea and receiving the cup from the father of the princess of Kyoto, she did not know what to do or what to say, and the silence lengthened.
Ironically, instead of her anxiety growing, her heart began to calm down.
It was Koishijirou who ended up breaking that bubble.
"Himura kun," He said after clearing his throat and attracting her attention. "He is an honorable man, but too gentle to be a samurai I'm afraid."
The woman considered that for a second.
"He's just a child." She murmured.
Koishijirou let that idea take root in his core so he could debate it later.
"He is a man in every way by law since last year for what I can understand. But you're right, he's at a tender age." He accepted. "However, in the times we live in, it is something that cannot be avoided. Not yet I'm afraid."
The bamboo of the fountain filled and fell suddenly, spilling the water to straighten itself again and receive more water. The sound seemed to have highlighted what was previously said as a sentence.
"Could the rebellion really be able to change such destiny?" She questioned quietly.
He smiled with pity and some empathy.
"It's a bet, Tomoe san." He told her. "Even if we have all the right reasons, we have no way of knowing who is right. Not yet. Time will decide who was." He lamented. "But it is also true that no change will come from standing still."
She knew it, of course. It was the reason men constantly fought.
Her gaze was lost in appreciating the tea in her cup. A stick of green tea floated straight in it. That was a sign of good fortune... Tomoe was so shocked by this that she almost laughed as she felt it was a mockery. But her thoughts were cut short when Koishijirou bowed towards her, his forehead resting on his hands, palms on the ground.
"Please excuse me, Tomoe san."
"Kamiya dono!" She exclaimed in dismay because what grievance would she have to forgive the clan leader?
"Although I was able to discover the identity of the enemy, it was already too late," Koshijirou confessed. The anguish and sorrow he felt were clear in his voice. "I knew about Akira san's intervention during the siege of the Kamiya mansion, but I didn't allow myself to think about anything other than the fate of my clan... I should have protected him... I'm so sorry..."
If she had been about to ask the man to stand up before, now Tomoe's hands had remained still in the air, halfway through such an undertaking. And, slowly, she sat back down in her place as she listened carefully to the words of the man sitting in front of her. Well, although Akira had written to her in his last letter about having been discovered, he had not told her how or why suspicions had fallen on him, even if she had been the one who had asked him to intervene...
"Due to my weakness, I ended up leaving such a weight on Himura's shoulders, even knowing the fragility of his heart." Koishijirou continued. "If possible I ask you to exempt him from all blame."
Tomoe felt a solitary tear slide down her cheek and that sensation allowed her to remember the wound on the young samurai's left cheek... Perhaps it had been her own revelation moments ago about her hand in the fate of Akira and his chosen opponent - wondering if she could really claim innocence even with the facts - perhaps it had been the honesty in the feelings expressed by the leader of the Kamiya clan, or even the single image from a day ago of the destroyed young man... Tomoe finally, more than understanding, could accept that tragedy and fully commit to what she felt she had to do.
Koishijirou was startled when he felt the young woman's hands rest on his shoulders.
"Please..." She told him, urging him to stand up. "If we are to do justice, I'm afraid I should start with myself." She confessed with sadness.
Sitting again, face to face, the young woman finally allowed herself to look at what she had refused to see.
"We both knew the risks we ran, but we were naive in our hope. I don't resent him. I promise." She said, finally looking him in the eyes. "I just don't know what to do with all this sadness..." Her voice broke and tears flowed again. "Does it ever end?" She asked pleading.
Koishijirou felt his heart tighten in his chest. How easy it would be to give her a comforting answer! But even he, himself, continued to mourn his own losses at times.
"...No." He said.
At this, crying completely dominated her. She let out the storm that was still raging in her chest and burning the edges of that emptiness that had been born after Akira's departure; forgetting her condition, her honor and her own, as a little girl left alone in the middle of a festival, unable to find her way back home.
Koishijirou let the woman vent; taking her in his arms he let her cry until she was empty. Tomoe clung to his embrace like a man lost at sea would.
...
When the crying subsided, even if the tears continued to fall, the man spoke to him again.
"It will never stop hurting, but it becomes tolerable over time." He assured her, with both of them now, sitting on the engawa, facing the garden.
"How much?" She questioned with some apathy and evident doubt.
"Enough to be able to start again." He assured her. "I had Kaoru. And you too like me, still have someone to continue living for. Isn't it because of him that you have come this far?"
She risked a glance at the man, he was smiling sincerely, there was no lie in his words. That gave her some comfort. Looking away again, her mind glimpsed the memory of Enishi playing years ago in a garden so similar to the one they had in front of them. In those days her brother smiled more frequently and freely.
Tomoe wanted to protect that smile.
"Kamiya dono." She spoke to him after a moment of silence and then looked at him with some shyness. "Could you tell me, who Himura Kenshin is?
Kamiya Koishijirou took a breath and sighed with great relief. The smile that appeared on his lips then finally reached his eyes.
"With pleasure." He replied.
Enishi, I have seen you grow since you came to this world. I have taken care of you with the awareness that you are my brother, even though my care has been that of a mother. You may not remember, but you used to berate me constantly during your early years as if you knew that wasn't my role. That makes me smile despite what you might think.
That's why I hope you understand how difficult it has been, and how difficult it still is to see you grow up and leave my care. I know that I no longer have the right to tell you what you should believe in, what ideology you should defend and how to build your destiny... That will be something you will have to discover for yourself. But it is precisely because of the love I have for you that I will continue to prevent you from taking false steps.
So I want to take the opportunity to get a poorly conceived idea out of you. We have been told that out of honor we are to do justice for our family members, those people to whom we are bound by blood; but equally, our bond to the clan and the lord we serve must be above these... But in truth, it is just an endless circle of meaningless revenge.
And I... I don't want that for you!
The sun had already begun its descent in the sky when Tomoe found Himura Kenshin standing in front of the river, the one behind the Kamiya mansion, near the residential building, the same one in which she had been contemplating her destiny hours ago, although at a different height.
Seen like this, standing, barefoot and without the sword, the boy's gentile condition was much clearer. His face remains contrite and sad, however, and it is clear in the air that dominates him that he is equally or even more broken than she is, if that were possible.
"Himura has taken an oath," Koishijirou had told her. "It would be much easier not to fully feel those deaths. It would allow him to fulfill his role in an even more efficient way... But Himura does not want to be a murderer. He wants a simple life with the person he loves most... A life next to my daughter, Kaoru."
To say that that confession had taken her by surprise would be half a lie, the black-haired woman thought. During the last years, and more after her husband's stories, she had discovered that both teens were in love. And yet, it was strange given the circumstances, that a samurai did not have the sword as his main destiny, as the desire that moved him.
"Like many of us, he has someone he wishes to protect. And it is this desire that motivates him to continue fighting for the idealists. He is also aware that the effort of a single man is barely a grain of rice in a balance, and does not seek to praise his efforts or receive glory for his exploits in war. His desire is to help people who suffer before his eyes, understanding that those he will have to kill are also people with ideals, and families to support and to take care of... This is why he cannot choose to disconnect from his emotions like any other samurai would."
Without a doubt, those words were true. The boy hadn't even noticed her presence or if he had, he wouldn't stop her. Her hand involuntarily went to her chest; the tanto was still there...
"Himura kun," She called to him as soon as she stepped near him.
The redhead barely raised his face a little.
"Tomoe san, you must surely know, why this particular confrontation has devastated him so much..."
The black-haired woman looked in detail at the boy's profile in front of her. Nothing about him denoted danger...
"Himura, he... admired and loved Akira san. For him, the fight was not against an enemy he had to defeat, but against a friend he could not save..."
Tomoe parted her lips to speak, but the words died before she could say anything. She sighed.
Her eyes drifted toward the river. The water ran clear and fast.
"Kaoru miko sama's birthday was two days ago," she said instead.
Kenshin blinked and was startled by the surprise he felt when he heard those words, turning involuntarily to face her. Kaoru's blue ribbon was hidden in one of the sleeves of his yukata, and for that moment his hands felt the desire to caress the fabric.
Tomoe, for her part, trembled almost imperceptibly.
"It is certainly a shame, I would have liked to celebrate it with her. Although I heard she will soon make a pilgrimage to Edo."
"Kaoru dono is...!" Kenshin exclaimed startled, cutting off his words after understanding - even more so in the look she was giving him - that he had talked too much.
Much against her will, Tomoe ended up smiling.
"Then it's true!" She concluded, "...You're in love."
Kenshin looked away from her with obvious embarrasment, his cheeks had turned red as had his ears. That scene made the woman feel warmth in her chest, as she still remembered the beginning of her romance with her late husband.
Those had been better days.
And it was with that response that Tomoe was finally able to see a reflection of herself in Kenshin. Just then the anger and some of the pain she had felt left her like a weight being lifted from her shoulders.
Feeling lighter, the young woman turned to face the young samurai and bowed to him, and said to his total surprise and bewilderment:
"Thank you very much, Himura san. My family is safe thanks to your intervention. I will be eternally grateful for your sacrifice."
Anguish, however, took over Kenshin in a matter of seconds and threatened to drown him.
"No..." He stammered, his body trembling. "It's not like that, I... I don't..."
But Tomoe maintained her stance despite this.
"You kept Akira sama's secret," she told him with a firm voice, "and with that, the rest of the clan was freed from all the suspicions that were placed on it. My family..." she said thinking about Enishi "...is safe, thanks to you."
She knew she was crying, even if her voice had remained steady. But she was convinced that this was what she had to do.
Kenshin felt like he was drowning. He felt he did not deserve such forgiveness or such words of gratitude.
"Gomenasai-"
And he was about to fall face down on the ground to beg for forgiveness, but the memory of his teacher's words stopped him suddenly.
"You can't just bow down on the ground and apologize every time you take a life. I'm afraid that's not how it works."
Eyes widening at that realization, Kenshin forced back tears. He had been so naïve and so immature then, that he almost justified his master's lack of affection. ...Almost.
When he looked up, Tomoe had stood up straight again. With tears in her eyes like him, she offered him the vision of the windows of her soul in a clear display of trust.
"Himura kun, I ask you not to tarnish Kiyosato Akira's honor." She ordered him. "He, after all, entrusted his life to you."
Maybe it was the words spoken and what they implied; perhaps it was the honest smile that the woman offered him; maybe it was his own joy when he remembered that yes, it was true!
Akira had considered him a friend...!
This time, Kenshin did not hold back the feeling that enveloped him; the tears came rushing out, washing him away from all the guilt he had felt.
The bow he gave her this time shone with the respect and gratitude the young man felt.
"Arigatou, Tomoe dono."
Enishi, I do not wish to see you tied to an empty revenge. You must know that nothing good will come of this. No matter what honor may dictate, what would be the point of hating the one Akira sama deemed worthy of trusting him with his life? It wasn't supposed to be like this, too. But I am convinced that this, more than a tragedy, has been a blessing. Akira sama's heart could be saved by being left in the hands of a friend...
Enishi, I don't resent him.
It is true that it still hurts me, that I am still upset and that, at times, I curse the outcome of his life; I wish it had been different... But I have understood, dear brother, that we are all nothing more than simple victims of an extremely, unjust life.
I ask you, my brother, do not sink your heart in seeking a justice that this sister of yours does not desire. On the contrary, live your life fully and freely. Choose for yourself a destiny different from ours. Search until you find your answer to what you want to do with this life that you have in your hands. And honor your brother Akira sama by respecting his wish and the person he decided to entrust his life to.
Live, Enishi. Forget this absurd revenge.
Live.
...
Your sister, who loves you,
Kiyosato Tomoe.
Enishi's body shook in tremors after finishing reading the letter.
Thick tears appeared in his eyes until they ran freely down his cheeks and fell until wetting the paper; the letter ended up crumpled into a ball, however, before the boy ended up tearing the pages into piles of pieces while screaming and sobbing...
"Aahh!" Enishi shouted loudly.
His hands knocked over everything on the table after, when they had finished with those letters, everything that was within their reach ended up smashed on the floor.
"Aaah!" He sobbed.
He was crazy with anger and hurt!
He was frustrated with his sister's soft heart and her ability to forgive the one they should hate, the one they should kill...
Everything he had believed until then seemed to falter and threaten to crush him, he couldn't seem to understand why - regardless of the reasons, the facts - he should forgive the person who had ended the life of a loved one...
But it was his sister who asked him...!
And he could not, for all that was holy and good, nor for anything else, go against her wishes.
So he cried until he ran out of tears.
He cried and screamed until he felt numb as he emptied himself of emotions.
Maybe tomorrow would be different.
Maybe tomorrow he would understand.
But for now, he could only cry inconsolably.
"Enishi kun!" Kaoru exclaimed when she saw the state of her travelling companion.
His eyes were swollen from crying - and she knew very well that this was the case - his clothes, although clean and elegant, looked dishevelled as did his hair, and his posture denoted a certain tiredness.
"Are you okay?" She asked with concern, about to take his face in her hands, but he did not allow her.
"Excuse me, Your Excellency, these have been difficult days." He said moving away from her.
Kaoru closed her outstretched hand into a fist.
"I understand. I apologize"
After the arrangement with Kondo san, two days ago, Kaoru had finally felt free to move towards Edo without worrying that the Sanctuary might be in danger. Emi and Touko would additionally remain acting on her behalf with the rest of the pending tasks; not to mention that the pact between the Sanctuary and the Kiyosato clan had already been revealed. Perhaps it was not yet a fact, but the scenario had been proposed under which she could move more freely as long as it was in the presence of her future fiancé.
"We must leave now if we want to take advantage of travelling most of the night," Enishi said.
The miko blinked in confusion.
"I thought we would go on foot."
Enishi sighed in irritation.
"Considering the delay of the last few days, and that you do not wish to travel by boat, it's best we proceed by carriage." He said with a harsh voice.
Kaoru simply nodded, aware that in his state the young man was easily irritable.
"I understand. Please forgive me."
Enishi, however, chose to approach her until she took two steps back; since they were at the end of the stairs that led to the sanctuary, Kaoru could not get further away, and he stood a breath away from her.
"If you told me the name of my brother Akira's murderer, I would forgive you anything from now until my death." He promised her in a low voice, almost in a whisper.
His eyes, still red from crying, did not hide the pain that their wearer felt, so Kaoru did not reproach such a lack of decorum.
"It doesn't work like that, Enishi kun. I'm sorry." She told him with sadness.
He growled before walking away again.
"Of course." He muttered irritably.
But it was Shinji who ended up pushing him away completely.
"You would do well not to disrespect the person who will be your future wife, Enishi." He rebuked him, making it clear in his words that there were others watching; even if those present pretended not to notice.
'It's just a farce' seemed to mean the look that Enishi gave him in response before walking away towards the carriage in which they would leave.
Shinji turned to Kaoru then, looking just as tired and dull as Enishi.
"Sumimasen (I apologize)"
"Lie..." She denied, smiling and wishing she had words of comfort.
"It has been hard for him a little more than for the rest. Now he has been put in front.
"And for you?"
Shinji smiled before snorting.
"I was resigned long before your vision, you know that." He reminded her. Then his face became serious. "She wrote to me too." He confessed, referring to Tomoe. And then he put his hand on the miko's head until he ruffled her hair "Kaoru... Stop being stupid and confess once and for all. Before all this gets out of hand."
"Ouch," she complained, managing to free herself later, looking at him with puffed out cheeks. "I will, you don't have to tell me."
"Great words from the mouth of someone who never confessed." Hikari declared then, getting between them both to defend Kaoru; she was carrying a box of candy in her hands.
Shinji chuckled.
"That makes two of us, eternal chokkai," he replied before leaving.
Hikari stuck her tongue out at him. Then she turned to her partner, guilt still gnawing at her.
"Kaoru... I'm sorry." She finally told her, surprising the miko. "It's been a nightmare since the siege... And after the death of Guji Sama, it's been difficult for me to keep faith. But... I believe in you, Kaoru. What we have achieved in the sanctuary has been thanks to you not giving up.
Kaoru looked at her until she finally smiled.
"Thank you Hikari, you don't know how much I appreciate it." She answered and the next moment they both hugged each other. "I'll see you in three weeks."
...
Hikari said goodbye to her friend and superior with a heavy heart, thinking - and wishing - that it would be better if she didn't return...
It was Kaoru's first time riding in an American carriage. It undoubtedly offered better shelter than a regular cart, but it was a bit uncomfortable to share such a small space with Enishi... maybe if it were Kenshin, she thought, and then her thought was cut short.
With a serious face, she couldn't help but remember what was distressing her.
She had also received a letter...
... ...
Kaoru miko sama:
I regret having to write to you again when I had already predicted that the previous letter would be the last... But I cannot help but share this truth with you, my dear friend, because I have promised to help you find your happiness.
I don't know if you know the truth or not but I want to share it anyway, because after meeting the owner of your heart I have understood that otherwise you will end up losing him.
The person who extinguished Akira sama's life was Himura Kenshin.
... ...
Maybe it was better this way, she told herself as they hurried down the road. After all, she needed to get to Edo as soon as possible.
A/N: Thanks to those who have followed me on these adventures. It's getting harder and harder to write the story because of how complex it has become, and the fact that I love it too much to let it remain a short, quick narrative. I love these characters, both those borrowed and my own, so I want each one to develop their arc as they should; but it's hard when suddenly there are too many of them! xD
How many more chapters should I write? How much longer are you willing to continue reading? Life out there is chaotic, but I hope my story is a respite for those who read it, a breath of fresh air that allows them to unleash their imagination and dream of possible paths even if they are completely far from what I have planned.
xoxo